Aware & Aggravated - 40. Hookup Culture

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

Watch this episode on YouTube!https://youtu.be/sMXhCfXaQecBook a 1-on-1 call with me 👇🏻https://leoskepicoaching.com/client-applicationSupport the podcast with a donation : https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/46556b98-73da-47be-a3bd-a5646af9f8c5Instagram: @theleoskepiPodcast Instagram: @awareandaggravated TikTok accounts: @LeoSkepi@NotLeoForLegalReasons My app Positive Focus:Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 

Alright, let's do this shit cuz I'm anxious. I'm giving anxiety. If I don't just start talking I'm gonna freak myself to fuck out But hi you can see me hi friends. This is our first video podcast and of course it's gonna be about fucking This is gonna be hook-up culture everything you need to know about it I got some shit to break down and I have some things to tell you about one how to protect your relationship with yourself And two how to mentally prepare yourself if you're gonna be fucking around. Because it's all fun and games so you get your feelings hurt. Trust me, I know, I went through it recently and I'm fucking upset. Okay, let's just jump into this. So I hate to say it, but it does not matter how prepared you are, casual sex and hooking up will fuck with you at some point.

So first, let's talk about the physical needs of human being. We are all biologically made to fuck. Maybe I should say pro-create instead of fuck. Like that's abrasive, you know? We're all like made and wired to have thick, engaging intercourse. But one thing I have to make very clear is there are people who are run by their sexual

desires and people who are not. But I am just going to tell you this straight up. Just because you feel the urge to have sex does not mean you have to have sex. You're not going to die if you don't have sex. Promise. I know that's like a hard pill to swallow, bitch, but like you're in control and it's your choice to act on your urges or not. But you can't deny the fact that we do have

the biological urge to have sex and hook up a people and we want to like touch people and be close and be affectionate like we all have that. We all that's normal for all of us. But I have to make it very clear you're not going to fucking die if you don't have sex. So just remember that you have the urge but it's your choice to act on it. It's not like drinking water. Like if you don't drink water your fucked the bitch you're going that, you're going dewat. So let's jump into hookin' up and why it feels good and then we're gonna get into why it feels bad. So hookin' up and having sex, it feels so fucking good physically because you got all the endorphins running through you. Like duh, that's expected. Like you're touching on the human being, skin to skin contact, releases that shit and then you be having sex

too and you touch the little bits and parts to you that, releases that shit. And then you be having sex too, and you touch the little bits and parts that makes it feel good. Yeah, you're gonna have an indoor from release. It's gonna feel really good. But a lot of people fail to realize a reason that sex feels so good is because of the emotional stimulation you get to.

You feel validated. You feel wanted. You feel attractive. You feel desired. Someone wants you. Someone wants to bring you close to them. And you feel valued. you feel like worthy, like it's a good validation of like feeling good about yourself. And then you add on top the physical feelings you get, like bitch, it's great. But it explains why so many people are slutty. And like the typical thing with people who are like slutty as fuck, a lot of people get a bad rap and like people like to talk shit on people for getting around, but they fail to take into consideration what's going on emotionally,

because people that are slutty don't just fuck, just to fuck. The physical sensations of it are not enough to run you, and not enough to sway you, and make you binge your boundaries and fuck people that you want to want to fuck, it's the emotional side that will do that, it's the emotional side that will get you out of fucking character, and fuck you up. So I don't want to fuck. It's the emotional side that will do that. It's the emotional side that will get you out of fucking character and fuck you up. So I don't want y'all looking at whores and like slutty people, like they're just, oh they're just so run, but they just want to go fuck. It's more than that.

Everything in my pocket, as you'll understand, everything is more than it seems. So that's one that I want to clear up. You also have to take into consideration with people that are very sexual. Sex and being objectified and sexualized might have been someone's only reflection of value for a long time.

So they might only feel useful and feel valuable and feel good about theirself when they're being pursued or having sex with someone. So you have to remove your judgment so fucking hard because a lot of people that are sexualized from a young age That's what they're reflected and a lot of the gay community Everybody it's just like what can you provide for me sexually? Everybody's looked at as a sexual object and all people all human beings like we want to feel valued We want to feel good and if that's how it was reflected to somebody

That's how they were taught to see it. They see their value and their ability to have sex and to be sexual So like I said, it's a lot more emotional than people realize. And also people that have experienced this and have their value only or mainly reflected through sex and sexual acts, that is their reassurance. So anytime they doubt theirself, anytime they feel low self esteem, they feel ugly, they feel like not valuable, they feel like undesirable. Their way of having it validated is through sex. So when they need reassurance, when they need comfort, when they need to feel validated, they resort back to how they know that they get it.

And it's all gonna be subconscious. So anytime someone gets insecure or down or whatever it is, if this is what they kinda grew up with, they're gonna resort to sex because that's gonna alleviate the insecurity they feel. So getting to have sex with someone or feeling pursued or feeling wanted by someone is their validation that they have worth

and they are valuable. So don't judge fucking horse, all right? Don't judge no slight. It's actually really sad when you think about it. But we are gonna get way more in depth with that, okay? I'm not encouraged in you to go out and be a whore. I'm just letting the whores know I understand you babe. I've been there, everyone has a little ho face. Everybody gets trapped in this cycle until you break it. But I want

you to know that it's understandable why you do what you do. You might not understand why you feel like you can't control your sexual urges, but there's a lot more at play than you realize. And we're going to get into more details. Okay, so we talked about how all human beings have like the physical needs we need met. Great, but we also have the emotional side of it. Every single human being is wired for connection. We are all wired to need each other and to want each other. Like you can't avoid that. Like you want to feel valued. You need other people to reflect it to you. I don't want to say you need it, but motherfucker, like I tried to reflect myself, my value for my whole life and it like wasn't as nice as when other people fucking do it. It's like when my therapist used to tell me, Leo, you don't need compliments from other

people and I'm like, I know bitch, but I want them. They're nice. They feel good. Like, you can't not want it. Like it's just nice to have your value reflected by others and to feel cared about by others. But a lot of this for your own cup bowl shit fails to take into consideration. We all have physical needs as human beings and we need each other.

Like you can't avoid that. But with all this being said, we all as human beings have the desire to feel close to other people. That's our main fucking thing. Every single one of us feels it, you can't avoid it. So everybody wants closeness, but a lot of people are unsure of how to get it and how to feel it. And when you want closeness with someone, you want to feel connected,

you want to feel valued and you don't get that or you don't have that. That is painful. It's literally painful as fuck to not feel valued, to not feel wanted and to feel isolated. Like you want to be around people, you want to be connected to people. Being connected to people is a reflection of value because people want you in their life when they value you, when they care about you. So if you have no one in your life, there's no constant reflection of that to you. So everybody wants closeness. But if you look at society, everybody is running around scared shitless of other people. Like everybody's so scared to get hurt. Everybody's got this need for closeness, but

everybody keeps people at arm's length. Like I don't want you to get to know me. I don't want to let you in on my internal world, which is required for true connection to feel connected to people. Like, you have to open yourself up and truly connect, but everybody's so scared to get deep. Everybody's so scared to reveal who they truly are, what they truly feel, what they truly want.

So, everybody's running around with this desire of like, I want to feel close to people, but they're pushing everybody away because they're scared to be hurt. So if you look at sex or casual hookups or just hookin' up with people, you get that fix, like you get to feel connected to someone

without the risk of emotionally being hurt. Like you physically get to feel close to someone for a minute. You feel like someone's there, you get to feel valued, you get to feel cared about. All the good things about you are reflected, the fact that you're useful, you're valuable, you're desired, you're wanted, you're attractive, like all of that is reflected to you.

So you get your fix of feeling good about yourself and then you get your fix of feeling connected to somebody. You get to hang out, you get to hook up, you get to feel close, you get to touch another human being, you get the endorphins from skin to skin contact and like fucking. And then you get to leave. And there's no risk of you being hurt because you didn't open up emotionally, but you shortcutted that needs you have of feeling close to someone. It really makes so much sense when you understand that.

Like why our society is the way it is and why hook up culture is so prevalent. Everybody's a chicken shit. And everybody like wants to avoid being hurt. But we all have that need for genuine closeness and connection to people. We wanna feel close to them, but nobody's willing to open up to do what it actually takes to feel that.

So everybody's just settling for the superficial. A lot of people don't understand how to feel close to people, so they don't even know that you have to open up to the level that you do. And also, with opening up, that's scary as fuck to open up to somebody and let you do. And also with opening up, that's scary as fuck to open up to somebody and let them in on your internal world.

It's like literally opening your chest up and allowing someone to like, see in. That's fucking terrifying. Like if someone can see the way you truly feel, what you truly want, what you desire, what you don't like, and like the pain you're in, that's scary as fuck because you're opening yourself up basically for someone to do whatever they want to you

They can choose to care about you and love you or they can fuck your shit up and manipulate you. It's 50 50 so I understand why everybody is so scared. I'm scared too. I feel the same things as you guys and that's one thing you have to realize I know as much as I do but I still have to navigate physical life feeling everything that you feel I'm not different from you I'm the same as every single one of you. And that's why I get it to the extent that I do. Like a lot of spiritual people, and a lot of like,

leaders and teachers and people that talk about shit that I do, they act like they're completely void of the human experience. But I want to let you know, everyone experiences it. Everybody feels it. Some people ignore it and some people don't. I'm very in touch with it, and it hurts my feelings all the time. And while I'm on the topic of spiritual shit and like people online, let me just go ahead and acknowledge everybody's posting about you need to be careful with sex and it's an energetic exchange. You'll take people's trauma on if you have sex with them.

Shut the fuck up. And energetic exchange with someone is the least that you mother fuckers worries alright you need to be worried about catching the fucking STD you need to be worried about getting pregnant by somebody you want to go fuck a pregnant by you need to be worried about energetic exchange cool it bitch get a crystal and go shove it alright leave everybody alone trying to scare everybody with the energetic exchange shit it is an energetic exchange when you do have sex with someone or you hook up with someone but it's not this fucking drastic thing where you're just gonna like transfer their trauma onto you.

Like you're okay. Okay, so now that we've acknowledged that sex is a shortcut to get to the feeling state that you want and to like alleviate that pain that you're in, this is where I mean hookups won't feel good for long. So when you're having the urge to hook up with somebody, it will overwhelm you because it's not just like the physical need. You're just gonna feel intensely horny and be like, oh my god, I wanna go fuck. But like I said, it's more than that. It's the emotional shit too.

So all you're gonna be doing is you're gonna be wrapped up in this feeling state of like, oh my god, like you just feel like you want to have sex, you wanna hook up with somebody, you wanna like touch somebody. Like, I love affection. Like, I love it. Like, just let me touch you. Let me just, you wanna be like I love a hug bitch. I need it in a hug, okay. The shit I go through, I need a fucking hug. Like all the time. But that urge you feel to hook up with someone.

It's gonna be very strong until you go through with it. So you're gonna have that really strong urge to hook up with someone, you're gonna get that emotional need met, you're gonna get the physical need met. And then all of a sudden that intense urge is gone. Your distraction is gone, because that urge is distracting you from what you actually want. It's the way that you know you can get kind of like relief from what you're feeling, but when that distraction is gone, you're left with the truth

of what you truly want, which is to feel connected and close to people. Like, the more aware you get, the more empty you're gonna realize casual sex is. Like, I'm so upset and pissed off that I fucking realized all this because I can't just fucking or more. Like, I'm upset every time. But this is the cycle a lot of people get trapped in. Like, they know a way to alleviate the way

that they're feeling, so they go hook up and have sex, and then they end up feeling the exact same void because it's not the actual closeness they were after. It's not the actual consistent validation that they want. So they keep resorting back to what is known. They keep having these urges and just going for it. Like they want to feel close to people and it will come out and it's like they just keep acting on it

and they keep going in the cycle and a lot of people will get stuck. It's like using drugs. When you're trying to chase the high, it's not gonna work sometimes. You're gonna keep doing more and more and more of it and then you're gonna either have to switch to a new drug or fucking sit down one day and be like,

what the fuck am I doing? Like after you fucked 500 people and you still feel the same way, you feel 10 times worse, you have no self esteem, your fucking relationship with yourself is ass, you probably kinda STD by now and now you're over here like Now what the fuck I'm finna do?

Like you have to get to that point to break the cycle But a lot of people don't understand it's a cycle That's why I wanted to talk about this in this episode But just understanding that sex is the pain killer to the emotional void you're feeling is your numb Like it's just that's your step one the awareness is gonna set you free from it because you're no longer gonna go into sex with the expectation of, oh my God, it's gonna cure me and then when it doesn't, and you still feel the same way after the excitement has gone, the distraction has gone,

you're not gonna think anything's gone wrong. And it's not gonna send you into a panic of like, oh my God, I have to keep trying. I have to go, it's like, you're looking for the next thing when you just gotta stop for a second. But this is gonna help you release the expectation around it. And one thing I do want to say is it's okay to hook up with people. Like, hooking up is fine.

If you want to go have like meaningless sex and just casual sex, that's fine. Like, tap into it, do it. But I wanted to share some things in this episode to help protect you mentally if you're going to do that. Like, it's fine to do it. But just don't expect more than what you're going to get out of it. Like, if you're going to go into it for the physical needs, understand it's fine to do it, but just don't expect more than what you're gonna get out of it. Like if you're gonna go into it for the physical needs, understand it's for like the emotional needs a little bit, and then the physical needs too, but keep on your hunt for the genuine connection.

But when you are hooking up with someone casually, human beings naturally want progression. So when you first meet somebody, if it's gonna be a hook up, you get excited. It's new. It's fun. It's, oh my god, it's a new person, it's a hookup, you get excited. It's new. It's fun. It's, oh my god, it's a new person, it's a new thing, it's a new place of validation. It's a new place to like get your physical affection need. Like it's exciting, it's fun. You hook up a couple of times and then it gets kind of like boring.

You're like, what else? Like what next? You know what I mean? That's at least how I get. But I get bored with people quick because I realize like the excitement's wore off, it's nothing new anymore. And like I said, humans want progression. Like we don't like the same shit.

Like we like for things to get deeper and progress and move forward. And when the most you're gonna get out of a situation is just sexual acts, it's like, eh, like you get bored of it. Because if all you're doing when you're hanging out is fucking and like c cuddling, li-li-li-li, I like to cuddle, after. I like to fuck like I'm in love, cuddle for a minute,

and then leave, piece out. Like, that's just the way that I do it. But if you're only having sex with someone, that's the only way you're kind of getting to know them. You're not getting to know them as a person. Your closeness with them is not developing. All you have is that superficial sexual encounter that you guys have and it's like you're gonna get bored by it, you're gonna get bored with it.

And one day I'm gonna go ahead and warn you because I do this every time, the moment when you're laying in bed next to somebody you've hooked up with and you've hooked up with them a couple of times and you're sitting there looking at the ceiling and you're like, I don't fucking know this person. I used to have that shit happen all the time. I'm like, I don't know who you are. Like I know you sexually but I don't know who you are as a person for a shit. Like even the little conversations you have like before and after sex it's like cute

fun, it's like superficial shit but you're gonna hit a point where the sex is no longer exciting. There's no real way to like bring that excitement back because it's known now, like you've done it, you've had it. And there's no development with the friendship, relationship, whatever it's gonna be. It's like, it's just the sexual shit and you realize you don't even know this person,

but your brain's automatically gonna be looking for more. And that's where you hit that realization because you're gonna want progress. And their fucking is none. If all you're gonna do is hook up with somebody. That's another reason why people bounce around so much. Okay, I have one more point I wanna hit on about hooking up with somebody and why it feels good.

And then I'm gonna get into how casual sex can fuck you up. And like you allowing people to have access to you, we're gonna get into that in a second. But with hooking up with someone and getting that feeling of closeness with them, like when you're hookin' up, if you're in pain emotionally and you get to go be with another person, it's so much better to be in pain around someone else than alone.

Like when I go through a lot of shit emotionally, I'll feel the urge to like go hook up with someone and I've realized like it's because I'm dealing with shit inside and I'm in pain But I don't have to tell the person that I'm dealing with shit But just being with someone Makes it feel better for some reason like to have their presence while you're upset or while you're hurting Just their presence feels better like someone just being with you when you're in pain feels better. So that's another reason a lot of people will hook up without realizing it. It's because it's just to have

someone's presence and someone's company while you're going through shit. It alleviates a lot. Like it just feels lighter and you just feel comforted. Like the person that you're hooking up with might not even know. They might not even be comforting you. They might not even be saying shit about that, but just being with someone or like being able to touch someone, it's very, very comforting when you're in pain. So that is another need being met, you know, because I'd be getting the loneliest when I'm the saddest. And then my dick all of a sudden wants to be like, I'm lonely too. Like, bitch, I know that you're not. You're not. You're fine. I played with you earlier. What you're really fucking after is to not be alone

in your pain and I get it. Thank you for looking out for me. But that's another thing that happens a lot of the time people aren't aware of. All right, now let's get into where casual sex is gonna fuck you up and ruin your self-esteem. Cause me too bitch. Everything I talk about in my podcast

cause I've been through it bitch. Like, you're not qualified to speak on something if you ain't fucking been through it or you don't have like direct experience with it. So, that's how I be knowing so many things. I'd be going through so many things. But a big thing to get about hooking up with someone is if you're just gonna use someone to meet your physical need

of like, okay, I'm just gonna hook up with you, we're just gonna have sex or whatever it is, you can't objectify somebody without doing the same to yourself. You can't treat someone like they're disposable without that being reflected right back at you because that's the only thing they're reflecting to you is you're just good for that. So basically you can't devalue someone or select what value you see in someone and like only being like you're only valuable

for this without sending that same message to yourself. And the next thing is allowing people access to you for the bare fucking minimum. Like if you meet up with someone and you hook up with someone just based off of what you like about them physically, that is the bare minimum of what someone could have to have access to you. Like it's kind of disrespectful to yourself where it's like your list of requirements for what you have to meet to be able to get access to me and like fuck with me It's like it's just this. You just have to like be cute and Know how to fuck

But to do that is not treating yourself like you're valuable Like you're just allowing anyone that has a nice dick a nice, or a nice body to have access to you. Like, there's so much more to human beings. We are animals, but we're not just like animals that are like, I don't know the fucking terminology, I don't know science, bitch. Like, I don't know, I don't even try and say it. Don't even you go and say, I was stupid as shit. But our whole focus is not just pro-creation, like other animals.

Like, it's not just like, who has the best features to fuck and then keep going. We are a more developed species than that. Like like you can't just let someone have access to you just because they know how to fuck or they have a nice dick or they have a nice body or they're cute. That's not enough like requirement, that's not enough like value to be able to cross that threshold to have access to you. Like because that's basically telling yourself anyone can have access to you if they have this or that thing. That's not like a good message to send yourself. When you screen people and you evaluate who they are as a person before they get access to you, that's being protective of yourself.

That's how you treat something you value is when you're going to check. Before I let you have access to me, are you worth it? Are you safe? Is this a good idea? You have to act protective of yourself and that's how you show yourself that you have value. Like, if you truly care about yourself and you value yourself, that's how you behave. You're not just gonna let anyone fuck you. And with that, like, just fucking with someone based off of the physical attributes they have, you're not

requiring someone to see anything else valuable about you to get you. Like, you're not making them see other ways you're useful to them or worth a fuck. Like you're just allowing them in. Like you're not making them appreciate you or see anything else. You're just like, here's access. Like valuable things are not easily accessed. So don't treat yourself that way. And I'm not saying don't have sex and like banish it off like some fucking prude.

I'm saying you need to be more calculated with who you allow to come in and get near you like that You know make people be of caliber to access you like not everybody can have a Birken Why do I always bring a Birken? It just flies out of my mouth But like not everybody can have a fucking Birken Like you need to be the same way which I'll coochie--cat. Or you're dick. Like you need to just have that mentality of like not everybody can access it. And what's gonna happen? A lot of people think like if they put requirements on their self to have access to them, people are not gonna want them.

But the opposite happens when people perceive things as more valuable and harder to get, they're gonna want it more. So don't be scared you're gonna not have anyone to come to you. People are gonna be trying to come to you. You're just gonna be weeding them the fuck out. Like, ugh, ugh scared you're gonna not have anyone to come to you. People are gonna be trying to come to you. You're just gonna be weeding them the fuck out. Like, ugh, ugh, you know what I mean? Like, get your little wee whacker.

Fucking get them out. It's about to start raining. God damn it. Okay, one thing, the lighting is like shifting, but don't worry, because next week's episode, I bought big lighting, but it just couldn't get delivered in time. So I'm trying to use sunlight

and God wants to fuck with me. So, we're just gonna have to hang tight for this one. Deal with the little shadow on my face but next week it's gonna be perfect. So the next thing about requirements for people to access you, a lot of the times if you're just hookin' up with someone, you don't require them to take your feelings into consideration. You'd hope for it, but it's not a requirement to get access to you as my thing. Like you hope that they care about the way that you feel. You hope that they think of you and they're thoughtful and courteous and considerate of you.

But what I'm saying is that should be a fucking requirement if someone's gonna fuck you. But allowing someone to discard you in the way that you feel and still allowing them access to you sends you a very negative message. Like to not make anyone care-take any part of you, that's not fair to do to yourself. Like you don't have to take care of me, you don't have to take into consideration anything about me besides sexually.

Like, that's not good to do for your relationship with yourself. Okay, so the next thing I wanna hit on about hook-up culture is how it's gonna make you feel like fucking shit about yourself and make you feel worse than ever. Because when you go to hook up with someone and your intentions are just to like have sex,

what someone is focused on is their physical need. So they're like, okay, I want my dick with, I want my dick played with. All they're evaluating you for is can you do it? Are you pretty enough to play with it? Like that's all that they're seeing about you. They put their blinders on for the need that they have. They're looking at the need of sex.

Can you meet that need? Great. They're not looking at any other value contribute them. They're not looking at how you're a good person or how you have a good heart or how you could care about them or how you could be a good boyfriend or girlfriend or they they them friend.

I don't know what the fuck to call that. But like, they're not looking to reflect you or even see or notice anything else valuable about you besides what will meet their needs. So they're screening you. They're assessing, can you meet this need for me? Okay, great. Then they're going to fuck you, but they're not going to reflect you any other value besides

sex. And a lot of people go into hookups thinking, oh my God, like, I'm such a good person. I'm so great. Like I'm better than them. Like I just said settle my standards, they're gonna want me, and then they don't want you. They're not looking for how you could be a good girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, like I said, they're not trying

to evaluate anything else about you, besides can you meet the physical need that I have, which is too fuck, that's what they're looking at. But that will make you second-guess yourself, and if you go through that enough of like, go in and just hook it up with people, and then no one tries to take things further or nobody wants anything more,

you're gonna start a question yourself, a second guess. Like, am I worthless? Like, what the fuck is going on? Why does nobody want me? But nobody's looking at you. When you approach them for the standpoint of just sex or you entertain that conversation, they're not looking at anything about you

other than your ability to have sex and your sex appeal. They're not looking for your emotional intelligence. They're not looking for your smart. They're not looking for your heart. So they're not gonna reflect you any of that. I hope you can't hear the thunder. Mother Nature, leave me alone. No. God, amma the nature nap thuck on me. Both at the same time. Oh, just let me talk to everybody about sex. Oh my god god and recently I was hooking up with someone that I met like real organically was weird Like I don't play on none of the apps and shit, but I met someone organically I was trying to manifest the friends of benefit like I was in my journal every night writing little friends of benefit

I want to manifest it and I did and then we hooked up a few times and this is where I'm saying all this shit Like kind of came out like it was already in the back of my head But this situation I just went through made all this very fucking obvious, so that's why I made a full list. And I was like, let's talk about it. But the main thing that put me the fuck off was I got a text late at night one night and he was like, what are you doing? I'm horny.

And it pissed me off. I got physically pissed pissed but like under anger is hurt. So I was like, okay, what am I actually like upset about? Like what's actually bothering me with this? And I was so sad by that text because I'm like, you only text me to hook up and I'm just like, I have so much more to offer. And the least interesting thing about me is the my ability to have sex. Like I'm so much more deep than that. I have so much more to offer. I have so much more value and you don't even care. And I've like kind of like drifted off and like I'm not

really like engaging with it anymore. Just because it made me feel like shit. Like I said, once you hit a certain level of awareness, like it's not going to feel good to hook up anymore. Like receiving texts like once you hit a certain level of awareness, like it's not gonna feel good to hook up anymore. Like receiving texts like that and only having my physical, like attributes and like my ability to have sex which every human being has, you're not special because you can fuck. You're not gonna be special for how you can fuck.

You can develop the skills, but the ability to fuck is in all of us. So just someone like reflecting that to me and like being interested for that, I was like so put off by it like You don't see what else is in front of you. All right, and I'm like I'm over it like I'm done with it Because like I'm down for like I like the progression of things like I talked about before I want to see progression. I want to get to know you more. I want to get to know you better

I don't know dude like I got to know him and like he was cool, but it wasn't, I like to get to know people. Like if I'm gonna give someone access to me, like I'm not gonna give it to a stranger. Like I have to assess if you're worth like bringing next to me and bringing close to me like that. Cause sex is bringing someone close to you. Like they're being intimate with you. That's a certain level of closeness.

And I'm like, for you to get that, I need more. I need a lot more than just what I thought. And this situation revealed that to me. And I feel a lot better now that I've decided I'm done with hookups, like the next person I'm gonna have sex with, me, what run in my fuck am I with? Let me drink too much tequila and I'm gonna be fucking. But I really don't like get around.

I haven't slept with a lot of people recently. Like I just don't like that. I'm very protective of myself now because I see for the first time the value in me. And when people don't see that, it makes me turned off. When people can't properly appreciate me, I'm like, I'm like, ew, like I'm ready to discard them. Because people appreciate what they recognize,

because it's in them. So it's kind of letting me know, you don't see what's in front of you, because you don't possess it also. That might just be me losing my fuck of mind and trying to feel better because I do be playing eagle games. But yeah, just getting that text did not make me feel good so I was like I'm not subjecting myself to that shit anymore. Like the person that's gonna get access to me sexually next is gonna be able to validate, see and appreciate all the shit about me, not just my dick. Okay, my next point I wanna bring up and it's about society. Society makes it seem like it's so

cool to have hoes. Like, you supposed to have holes on a lot of fuck. Like, everybody's like, all about having hoes and all about like having a list full of people that want to fuck them. And I just wanna say, having having hose is not a flex. It's honestly kind of embarrassing, because what you have is a list of people who want to fuck you. You don't have a list of people who want to care about you and get to know you and connect with you and be close to you. They'd like to take you on a test ride.

Like sexually, like I don't look at it as a flex to have hose. I'm honestly turned off when people entertain too many fucking people I'm like ew like that's not cute to me because like you're entertaining people who are only able to reflect you one type of value I'm good. I don't like that shit. I don't waste time on that shit Like I don't entertain people like my phone is literally so fucking dry. It stays on do not disturb all the fucking time I don't give a shit girl. I'm busy with me. And until you can like fully appreciate me and like value me, I'm not interested. And that's that.

But I just wanted to talk shit real quick about everybody thinking it's so cool to have hose. Like, it's really not. Like it's actually kind of embarrassing. You have a lot of people that want to fuck you, but not care about you. Seems off to me. But like I said with this whole episode,

I don't want you to think that I'm like bashing, hooking up. I just want you to be prepared and be aware of what's going on and like what you're feeling inside. This will be different for everybody. But like check in with the new awareness you now have. If you're gonna hook up a people

and you're still gonna do casual shit, do it. Get your fix. We all have physical needs. We have emotional needs. Like go get your fix. It's okay. Every once in a while, take a little pain pill. Like take your pain pill. go get your fix. It's okay, everyone's gonna wanna take a little pain pill. Like, take your pain pill.

Go get your fix, but now you're prepared mentally. And I want you to set standards and requirements for yourself for what it takes to access you. Don't just go around fucking people. Like set requirements and screen who you allow to have access to you, because that's gonna send you the message that you are valuable. Like just hooking up with a bunch of people,

doesn't mean you don't value yourself and it doesn't mean that there's no way to build your relationship with yourself and still hook up. The way to build your relationship with yourself and feel good about hooking up is by showing yourself, you're treating yourself as valuable, you're screening who comes up in front of you. You have requirements for who can access you like that.

That's the way to build yourself a theme and build yourself up. But like I said about when you have that urge and you're like feeding for it, do not drop your fucking standards. Now you're aware of why your urge feels so strong. It's the emotional shit too, so it's not going to feel as strong because now you're going to be able to observe it. So you're welcome. I gave you that little tidbit, but don't drop your fucking standards. You meet my requirement or you don't get access. That's just how the fuck it's gonna go. Or you will fuck your relationship up with yourself and you will not feel valuable.

Okay, like you're gonna feel like shit with hooking up. So this is the way to do like little hookups and take your little pain pew of like having sex with not feeling like total hell, you know. So just be smart with it. And make your priority showing yourself that you're valuable by the way you treat yourself. If this podcast was helpful to you and you're watching on YouTube, leave a video, thumbs up, and leave a comment.

Like, leave me some comments, leave me some feedback. I love hearing from you guys. That's the shit that keeps me going. Like I like to have comments stationed, I like to talk. And if you're listening to the audio version of this, I'm on YouTube now, bitch. You can watch this if you want.

But, leave me a five-star rating. Apple podcast, Spotify, just put the little five stars. Thank you so much. But I did set up a donations page for this podcast because I'm most likely not gonna be monetized. So, if you wanna support the podcast, if anything I've said has helped you, and you wanna donate, I'll put the link

in the description of this podcast. It'll also be in the audio version as click the description. And donations are gonna help keep this bitch commercial free because I don't want to have to come in here with no abat Sightseeing I hate that shit when I'm listening to a podcast and they fucking just all of a sudden talk talking about like teeth whitening or like Birchbox whatever the fuck is I like you just give the value straight to you because that's how I like to consume it But if you're interested in working with me one-on-one I do zoom calls

So if you want a book one, and you want me to help you through anything you're dealing with, I've got you. Hit the link in the description. I'll put the scheduling link. I'll also put all the links to my social media if you want to follow me. If you have any topics you want me to cover

in future episodes, you can send me a DM on Instagram or you can comment on the YouTube video. I'm gonna look at all of it. I be nosy, I like to know what everybody says. But I hope this podcast help you. This is everything that I fucking know as of right now. As I learn more shit, I'll share it. But everybody be safe, take care of yourself,

and I will talk to you next Sunday.