Aware & Aggravated - 46. When They Don't Like You Back

Episode Date: October 16, 2022

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Hi friends, this week we're talking about how to handle someone not liking you back I Don't know why I'm giggling bitch cuz this is a serious topic like this is like very hurts your heart like this She'll fuck you up But I have a lot to break down with this because you can get stuck in playing the game because there is a big game That comes with when someone doesn't like you back So I'm gonna break all that shit down But I'm also gonna teach you how to navigate this

and how to like not have it fucking ruin you and feel useless and worthless. And even if you're like, oh no, like Leo, I'm not going through this, everybody like me back. Maybe your friends going through it. So watch this fucking episode regardless. And if you know someone that would benefit from this episode, make sure to send it to them, okay?

Cause this is all the things I've learned about how to not let people not liking me hurt my heart. Cause like, that shit used to ruin me, dude. Then we're gonna get into what would Leo do? WWLD, that's where you guys write in and I give you advice on your situations. I feel like my mic is a little too far from my mother fucker face.

Okay, perfect. I be flailing about with my arms, I don't wanna like to hit it. Cause this bitch is expensive. So first things first, if you're in a situation right now where someone doesn't like you back or doesn't want to date you or whatever it is, but you want to date them or you like them, whether it's like a friendship or it's like a relationship type thing. All this applies to both. This is mainly going to be geared to a relationship.

So it's totally normal to feel disappointed. Like you're going to be sad as shit and it's going to hurt like a bitch, all right, because it's like a minor form of rejection. It's not like it is, it's full on rejection. But if you like someone, that means you see value in them. You appreciate them and you want them. You could like see how you would benefit from being around them or being with them. And if this person that you see value in does not have the same feelings towards you, it's going to make you question your value. So let me nix that shit for you real fast. I'm going to teach you how to not let it like make you turn the knife at yourself and

start to nitpick what's wrong with you while you're not good enough XYZ. So if someone doesn't like you back or they don't want you in their life, they might see value in you and they might be able to recognize it, but they're not recognizing it to the extent of where they would want you to be with them. You know what I mean?

So it's not that they're fully blind to what you have to offer. They might just not want it, which is okay. And we're gonna get into that. So really there's two options when you like someone and they don't like you back. For the other person, they either see the value in you or they don't. If they don't see the value in you, sorry bitch, not really much you can do about that, but if they do see the value in you,

there's a couple different ways that can go. So they can see the value in you and understand that you're not what they prefer and not want to be with you or they can see the value in you and be intimidated by it and not feel good enough for it and push you away and pretend like they don't want you. But when someone doesn't like you back, your immediate thought is like they just don't want you. But sometimes there's a lot more that plays into it and I'm going to give you an example of a psychiatrist that I went on a date with, okay? We all know Leo is very well versed

in the field of psychology, bitch. And there was this psychiatrist that I was interested in and I liked, like a couple of years ago when I was going through it, bitch. But we went on a date and I could see by looking at him like I was the cuter one I'ma just fucking say that but he was older he was more successful He had more shit going for him like financially at the time than I did but I liked him like I I didn't really like him that much but I kind of liked him and as we hung out when we got to know each other

Like I'm a very intense personality. One, two, the way I care for people and the way that people feel comfortable around me is not something that most people experience. Like I'm a lot to take in in the good way, but also like there's some bad things too. Okay, I'm not just gonna over here and two my own horn. Like I'm gonna let you know, like I have shit wrong with me too. But I thought the date went good.

And I was like, okay, this dude is gonna be fucking obsessed with me. Like, after our little date, after he got to know me more, I'm like, he's gonna be obsessed with me, he's gonna love me, he's gonna want me. But like, at dinner, I was kind of like talking laps around him in psychology shit. Like, that's what he does for a living, and I was better at it.

So that's very intimidating. And also to meet someone that is almost half your age and they're smarter than you mentally, that's very fucking intimidating, but I wasn't looking at that of a time. I was just looking at it like, okay, I like this motherfucker. I see all the things I have to contribute.

He's gonna be obsessed with me, he's gonna want me, he's gonna let me. And he didn't. He kind of like pushed me away and like acted like I wasn't worth the shit, is how I took it. Like he wasn't trying to hang out, like I was initiating hanging out and he like wasn't wanting to hang out. And he kind of like ghosted after a minute. And when people ghost me, I let them. If you're gonna ignore me, I'm never reaching out to you again. That's how I've always fucking been and that's just how things are gonna go, okay? You can hit my ego once, if you're gonna ignore me. I'm never reaching out to you again That's how I've always fucking been and that's just how things are gonna go, okay? You can hit my ego once, but you're not hitting it twice bitch

But this whole situation fucked me up because I was like what the fuck like I'm Everything you could fucking want like to find someone like me in the gay community good fucking luck bitch I was just so confused like how could you not want me like look at you and look at me Someone like me is showing interest in you bitch You should be jumping at the fucking chance to be with me Okay, I'm not trying to like have a big head like if he was cuter than me I would not be saying this but he was uglier than me and like I was a match like we were like a match kind of But I still was cuter but like and I had a better personality

but That whole situation made me second guess and question everything about myself multiple situations did But that one in specific is what made me realize so much shit I was like okay, he clearly sees my fucking value. How can you not bitch? Cuz like in the gay community. I'm a rare motherfucker to find. I'm not like any other gay So someone that is in the gay community and experiences all of these gays when they experience the contrast of me It's obvious. It's in front of their fucking face But a lot of people don't know what to do with that

And I just couldn't fathom why he didn't want me and why he wouldn't like appreciate me and try to go for me But upon further reflection I looked at everything that I had to offer and everything about myself and then him. Like he didn't know what the fuck to do with someone like me. He's only ever been used to like typical normal gaze. He's not used to someone like me who thinks like me acts like me looks like me. None of it. So one, he was intimidated that I was better at psychology than him. And that's what he does for a living. And two, looks who is probably

insecure and like worried about it. Three, people that are older and go after people younger, like to feel like they have the upper hand. That's one of the dynamics with like sugar daddy's and like, I should do a whole episode on sugar daddy's and sugar mom is not like protect yourself mentally if you're gonna like sugar baby But these older people like to feel like they can contribute a lot and What he was faced with meeting me was someone he couldn't contribute to so he didn't feel safe to like me or care about me because He probably was already intimidated and then was thinking I don't feel like I have anything to contribute. So he had no sense of safety with how he's used to feeling good about himself.

I don't know if this is too far, for how I'm explaining it. I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but at the beginning, I tried to attack myself and I was like, what the fuck is wrong? But he doesn't like me. And I couldn't find anything because my whole life, I've dealt with not being accepted, being rejected, people not wanting me, people not choosing me, like I've perfected and corrected everything about myself physically, mentally, emotionally, personality-wise, like anything you could fix, I fucking fixed it. And I was

finally at a point where I'm like, okay, my values are obvious to me. So this motherfucker either don't see it, which means you don't have it, so you're right finally out of point where I'm like, okay, my value is obvious to me. So this motherfucker either don't see it, which means you don't have it. So you're writing you the fuck off. Or you do see it. And it's not what you prefer, which is fine. Or you see it and you're intimidated by it. So when someone doesn't like you back, you typically don't get an explanation of why they don't like you. So your brain's gonna kinda try and fill in the fucking gaps, and mine immediately went to making it about me and trying to figure out what the fuck I was doing wrong, and then I realized I ain't really doing nothing wrong, nothing really left to fix.

And two years ago I was finally at the place where I'm like even if you don't like certain things I'm not willing to change them. Like it's me, it's who I am, it's what I like about myself, it's the authentic me. If you don't like it, eat shit. But it fucked me up mentally for so long, because I was like, how do you not want me? Like it does not make sense. And that's the thing. If it doesn't make sense, it's because it's not fucking meant to. If it does not make sense that someone doesn't like you, it's because you're not looking at it correctly. As soon as I realized he's fucking intimidated, and there's a lot more that went to play,

other than he just doesn't see my value, it made more sense. But just to look at the comparison of like me and him, he should be jumping at me. Now there's so much shit that goes on in the middle that I don't know about. You can think about it and you can wonder about it. But if someone doesn't like you you and it doesn't make sense, there's more at play and it's not to

fucking do with you. So I'm just going to throw that the fuck out there. But anytime someone sends you the message that I'm okay living without you, that shit's going to fucking hurt. So you're not crazy, you're not weird, you're not stupid, you're not insecure, you're none of this. Like this will hurt anyone. But basically if you like someone and they don't like you back, like they're basically telling you, no I'm fine, like I'm okay.

Like I can live my life without you and I'll be just fine. That is a hard feeling to take on for when someone looks at you like that. Or even if they're like, okay, I don't want to date you, but I'm down to be friends. What the fuck? That's still going to hurt too. That's probably going to hurt worse. Because it's like, I see value in you, like you're cool, like, alright, but I don't like

you enough to bring you close to me or be intimate with you and like date you. So all this shit's going to have you feel in all kind of ways. And it's not going to be good. But when I say this shit can become a game, I mean it can become a game. Because what it basically can turn into is resetting your self-esteem. So when someone doesn't like you, it kind of like you're gonna take a hit. Like your self-esteem is gonna take a hit. You're gonna be like, whoa, whoa, it's like you're getting knocked off your rocker. It's like if I punch you in the head, your equilibrium is gonna be a little off. Same thing happens when someone doesn't like you.

Your sense of self is gonna be a little off. You're like, you just took a hit to it. So this person that just caused this hit to your self esteem, this is going to turn into a chase and it's going to make you think that you want this person and like this person even more. Because like I said, you already see the value in them. But now they've just rocked your fucking self-esteem. And you know in your brain knows where that came from. So to get this person's approval and to convince this person to like you is what you think is going to absolve yourself a steam and like repair it.

But that's where it gets into a game. You're going to think that you want this person so much more. What you really want is their validation that they do See your value It's not about wanting them or not wanting them because a lot of times you'll get into a situation where you like someone They don't like you and then you get into this like push and pull of like Convincing them to finally want you and then once they want you a lot of times you're like, nah, I don't actually really like you But that's what I'm saying. It's a game because a lot of times you're like, nah, I don't actually really like you.

But that's what I'm saying, it's a game. Cause a lot of people don't realize what you're seeking is there approval and there validation and like reconstruction of your self-esteem. Cause if they're the one that broke it down, they can build it back up. It's like to convince someone of your value,

it's gonna feel good, but you don't actually want them. You want their validation that they see what they previously didn't see Because I've been through so many situations like that where I'm like you didn't want me Okay, now I'm gonna make you want me bitch And I would do everything in my power to like flip shit and become someone that they want to just like to reject them Like just like feel better But most of the times when it turn into that game of like, I want this person, I want this thing,

you just feel like you want this person so much, but you want their validation. And once you get it, you're gonna have clarity and be like, I don't think I actually want them, you know? And it's like once you fought so hard for someone to actually recognize you, it's like, bitch, and now I'm done, now I'm bored, Now I'm over you. Like, fuck that. Like you put in all this work, but as soon as they give you that validation and

yourself a steam gets boosted back up, like, okay, I'm not worthless. You're going to be over them, but I did want to give that explanation of why you feel so strongly for someone that doesn't want you back. It's more at play than just I want them and they don't want me. Basically, you get the confirmation that they do see your value and they don't want me. Basically, you get the confirmation that they do see your value and they do want you because that's all you're after. You're not after the person, you're after the feeling state of feeling more like solidified and whole and valuable. One more little tidbit I want to bring up is this weird dynamic that can happen.

If you do not see in yourself how you're valuable, if someone likes you, you're gonna be turned off by it. Like we never like the ones that like us, right? But I have a whole episode about why you don't like the ones that like you. I think it's like episode two or some shit of my podcast. It's on Spotify and Apple Podcast. So for those of you that don't know that have just joined me since YouTube, I have like 38 or like 39 episodes that are audio only. So you can go through and listen to those on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or wherever else podcasts are. I don't fucking know where it's at, but I put it everywhere. But if you don't see why someone could like you,

when someone does like you, you might be put off by it. You might be like, what the fuck you'll think it's a joke. You'll think there's like some kind of hidden agenda, some hidden intention of like, okay, why the fuck would you like me? Like you're kind of like caution is gonna come up of like hang on. I wanted to give a little explanation with that too. Because if you don't see what someone

could possibly like about you, you're not gonna trust when they tell you they like you. Okay, so now let's hit on preferences because everybody has preferences for the people that they like, what they want, what they find attractive, what they value. So everybody has preferences for the people that they like, what they want, what they find attractive, what they value. So, everybody has different preferences and you're not gonna be able to meet everyone's preferences and like, fit whatever everyone wants. So, you have to know that that's okay. You're not gonna be for everyone.

I'm sure it's f**knot, like, from a friend's standpoint, from a podcast standpoint, there's people that love my podcast and people that fucking hate it. So even from a dating standpoint, I'm not everybody's cup of tea. Everybody has preferences and you're not gonna meet them all, but that does not mean anything is wrong with you

because you do not match up to what someone prefers because people's preferences are typically about needs. So if they have certain needs, that's where their preferences kind of come from. They see like what can meet my needs and what can't. And a need can be what someone physically needs, mentally needs, emotionally needs, what they like, what they don't like. Those are needs too. So everybody's their own little fucking mix.

What's like something that's like messy and like trail mix. Like that's fucking this gross. Like what's like a bag of fucking tricks? Everybody's their own bag of fucking tricks What would they like? Everybody's different everybody's just a jumbled fucking mess and you're not gonna be able to like Match everybody's jumbled mess, but just because you aren't what someone prefers It doesn't mean that you have no value and I do want to say you have so much value to give you are capable of meeting needs for people You are someone's full list of preferences But what you're doing when you line up with someone that doesn't want you is you're trying to give what you have to give To someone that can't appreciate it or someone that doesn't want it and like I've said before

You can't make a motherfucker like you by giving them more of what they already don't appreciate it. If they don't appreciate it, they're never gonna see it. They might one day like gonna get knocked upside the head with some awareness and then they might be like, oh, look what was in front of me the whole time. But you have to decide, are you willing to wait for that? Are you willing to fight for this person to see you or do you want to go put your energy and effort into finding someone who sees it off the bat and immediately prefers what you are. So you can also look at this like you're trying to meet needs for someone that doesn't have the needs that you are able to meet. It's like if I have a crush on a fucking straight dude.

Oh babe, it's not gonna work. I'm just not what he prefers. And there's nothing wrong with me. It doesn't mean I'm worthless and I have nothing to offer. The motherfucker does have the different preference that I'm not able to meet. I'm a fucking dude. If he likes girls, there's nothing to do about that. Like, there are certain things out of your control, but there are certain things that are in your control, but if someone does not prefer what you cannot change, you have to accept it, like face it, and then go find

someone that does prefer what you are and what you have So one thing I do want to give you that's gonna switch your entire perspective around this Okay, so the people that watch my podcast and like actually like it and you appreciate me and what I post and what I do Like you'll like me y'all get it y'all know me Imagine I came to you and I was like hey There's this person that I like that doesn't like me. And I got down on myself and I was like, I'm worthless. Like, no one's going to want me. And I was just going on about a fucking pity party of like, how I'm not good enough, how I'm not worth shit because this one person

doesn't like me. You would literally look at me and be like, you stupid fuck. Not really. You would just look at me and be so confused. Like you would genuinely be baffled because you recognize my value. You see what I have to offer and you see the person that I am and you see how great of a partner I could be or a friend I could be. So for me to be questioning my value

because one person didn't like me, it would not make sense to you because it's so obvious in front of your face. But when you're the person being rejected, it's hard to have that objective view. So what I want you all to do is if you have someone that does not like you back, your face, but when you're the person being rejected, it's hard to have that objective view. So, what I want you all to do is if you have someone that does not like you back, look at me in that scenario.

How you can see my value and you'd say, I don't see how anybody wouldn't want to be with Leo. What about me? Do you see that you think I'm so valuable? What do you see in me? What can you identify and what can you feel about me? Literally make a fucking list if you have to or just think about it. Think about what you recognize in me that you can see is so desirable.

And then I want you to switch it and look at yourself and see, is there anything in me that I also see in Leo that makes him so valuable? Because that's going to bring you face to face with the value you actually have. Like if you realize you have all the things that you see in me, there's no question if you're valuable or not. You're going to actually feel it and see it truly. And you won't be able to question it because it's not in you. Like I said, it's like it's hard to go through it when it's just you, but as soon as you can flip it, like I say

relationships are your biggest teachers. Other people are your biggest teachers and your biggest reflections. You just have to know how to tap into that knowledge and tap into that information. So I just gave you the tip to do that. But what you see in me, look for it in yourself because that's gonna boost the fuck out of yourself as theme. Because also look at the person that like rejected me. How would you look at the person who rejected me and didn't want me? You would look at them like a fucking idiot. Like they didn't see what's in the front of their face.

And you would not tell me it's my fault or something's wrong with me. You just be like, oh, you would write them off and be like, they don't fucking see what's in front of them. There I got them dumbass. They missed out. You wouldn't tell me I'm worthless. You know what I mean? Because you're out of it. So that's my next point, is attacking yourself when someone doesn't like you. How you can look at me if I was rejected and you would just write the other person off like there are goddamn dumbass, I want you to do the same for yourself. Once

you go on the scavenger hunt and start to see your own value, I want you to look at, okay, if I see all this in myself and someone else didn't see it and appreciate it, they're just fucking blind. Or they have needs that I don't mean. Which is fine. When it comes to attacking yourself when someone doesn't like you, it's a subconscious thing because when you make yourself the problem, it gives you a sense of control because you cannot control if someone likes you or not. But instead of facing, I'm powerless to people seeing my own value. It feels better to turn the knife at yourself and be like, I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I'm black, I'm white, I'm whatever. And you

start trying to change those things, it gives you a sense of control. Like I'm not powerless to people liking me or not. I can do something to control that and guarantee people will like me. I can change my appearance, I can change my personality, I can change everything about myself to become what someone prefers. All that does is give you a sense of control. But once you do this, you're going to be able to look at the situation and analyze it because once you see your own value and you notice all the things you have to offer in yourself, you're immediately going to be like, okay, so now I see all these things. This person does not want me. So they aren't seeing what I now see or they don't have the needs that I can meet. So they might be able to see it but they

don't want anything further from it. Which is fine, but from that standpoint, when someone doesn't like you back, you're not immediately gonna be like frantic and freaking out, you're gonna be a little disappointed, you're gonna be a little upset like damn, but you're gonna be able to see your value now. And if you have lined up with someone

that has not liked you back or has reflected that you have no value, what that's done is just lined you up with the experience that's gonna make you aware of what you have no value. What that's done is just line you up with the experience that's gonna make you aware of what you have to value. Like if you're watching this episode, you're not the same. Even this far along, you're not the same. And at the end of it, you're definitely not gonna be the fucking same.

Like you're not gonna be able to ignore and deny your value anymore, regardless of who does not like you. Okay, so my next tip for being okay when somebody don't like you back is I'm gonna send you on a scavenger hunt to try and find your own value So what I want you to do is imagine you just met yourself for the first time Why would you be happy to finally have met someone like you? Why would you feel relieved like oh my god? Finally, what about you would you be happy to meet if you had an identical fucking clone like what would you be

Excited about meeting this person for like look at all the traits look at all the things look at every fucking detail even as small as you can think of The way that you talk the way that you move the way that you care for somebody your mannerisms the way that you're thoughtful The way that you are loyal and you will fight for the people you care about, the way that you care about other people's feelings. Literally anything, your style, your looks, anything you can find about why you would be excited and also happy to finally have met someone like you is going to boost the fuck out of yourself a steam and I'm not worried about making your head big, bitch. I want to make you guys as head as big as possible because if you've been a match to finding this podcast, we're all in secure. So I need to build you to like blow that fucking head up. So here we are I'm gonna give you the fucking air tank to blow

your head up. Do not be afraid of having a big head. Do not be afraid of seeing your own value. Being humble is fucking useless. Like for you to not see your own value. What the fuck is that about? To look like a good person, to be fucked on and be giving your value to someone who can't appreciate it? Fuck that! Stop being humble! Own what you see in yourself! And fucking take care of it, and like, hold yourself and everybody around you to new standards. There's a difference between being humble and being cocky. Like, I don't like being cocky, I don't like being humble, but being realistic I do like.

You have to look at your faults and also your value and where you excel. You have to see both. Like, you're going to stay level headed with that because like I said, if anybody that's found this fucking podcast, all you've done your whole life is see your fucking faults, how you're fuck up, how you're not good enough. So I need to help you see the other side too. You need to see both. And it will give you a grounded sense of self and like a down to earth like reality of who you are. You're the good and the bad. You're

both. You're not just bad. And I'm not talking about go be fucking arrogant. Alright, what's a better word for like a short like you need to recognize yourself recognize your own value like stop being fucking humble stop trying trying to fucking look a good guy, ignoring and not recognizing and pretending you don't see your own value only hurts you, bitch. So, on that shit, see it, alright? Because people around you have benefited from you not seeing it for so long, because they got access to something very great for a cheap price. That ends today.

Okay, so another big point with when someone does not like you back, you're basically faced at a crossroads. So when someone doesn't like you, you can choose to stay with them and like fight for them and fight for trying to make them see your value or you can go down the other fucking road and goddamn leave them and like leave them alone. Don't do it in like a better way.

If they were bitter and fucking rude when they dismissed you, be bitter and rude back. We mirror bitch. But if they're fucking polite, then just be polite, understand, respect their decision, respect them being honest with you, and fucking plately just go on your goddamn way. But you're faced at a crossroads here. But both of these roads take effort to go down. And what I want you to see is you can go down the road of trying to convince this person that you like them. It's very fucking hard. It's going to take a lot of effort and a lot of energy. But if you go down the other road, it's going to be the same amount

of energy and effort, but you can put it into finding someone who will see your value. So it's just which road do you want to go down? Where do you want to put your effort? Do you want to put your effort into convincing someone to like you or put your effort into finding someone who Immediately likes you and can recognize your value off the gico and does not need to be convinced now You know which one I'm gonna tell you go down bitch I'm gonna tell you to go down the one where you leave them the fuck alone do not ever let someone tell you They don't want you twice They can say it once and they should never fucking hear from you again

and The way that you can kind of navigate this is use my catchphrase and what about it? So if you are like dealing with someone who doesn't like you back and what about it? What now that's my other catchphrase? So what now that puts you square in a place of like reality and decision. It puts you in control. This person does not like me. Okay. What now? What about it is kind of like more dismissive, but I want you to ask yourself like what now?

So they don't like you. Okay. So what now? Self. What are we going to do? So what now that I'm in the position of like, I like this person and they don't like me. What are we going to do now? What's the next action step? What do we want to do? But one more thing I want to bring to your awareness about fighting for someone to see your value is if you are stuck here with your attention on this one person who does not see your value. You're sitting here trying to convince them to value you and see your value

and your attention is here. Your focus is here. You're not seeing all the other people over here who will not have to be convinced or shown your value. They will see it and appreciate you to a degree that you can't fucking imagine. But your attention is stuck here. And until you drop this and stop going at this fucking project, which is what this person is that doesn't want you back, your attention is going to free up and you're going to be able to look around. And that's when you can see everyone else who will appreciate you and value you.

You have to free up your focus from the motherfuckers that don't see your value so that you can line up with and potentially see the ones that will. And the last thing I wanna say about this before we jump into WLD is do not ever let someone find you where they left you. And my biggest fucking revenge, like my biggest like oh it makes my fucking heart happy. To literally like have someone not want me and then level up so hard that I surpassed

them and now you can't access me. Like who the fuck you are is no longer of caliber to access the new me. Like let this be the kickstart to your fucking greatest level up you've had. That truly is the best revenge you can get on somebody. Cause I could not imagine if someone liked me and I kind of like was fucking them around

and I like didn't give them a time of day. I was like, and whatever, like I guess we could be friends. And then they leave me alone And then I see them go level the fuck up and now I become insecure because I'm like damn like now They're better than me like and now I like I would never get a fucking chance. I would fucking kill myself. Oh my god Like you leveling up is the best fucking revenge But it takes a long time and it takes them in it Like it's not like an immediate gratification like lighting their house on fire or like blowing their car up

Like that makes you feel better immediately or like beating up their new partner. That's fun That'll make you feel better immediately, but the true revenge the ultimate satisfaction The shit that's gonna get you off for the rest of your life is leveling up so far past them They couldn't even access you if they fucking wanted to because I have people, I had this one fucking loser on TikTok, he's kinda big. And who I was around a year ago, we were talking and we were on the same level, the way that I looked,

the way that I acted, everything I had going on, we were on relatively the same level. Now? Oh, he couldn't fucking message me if he fucking tried. that I acted like everything I had going on like we were on relatively the same level now oh he couldn't fucking message me if he fucking tried one I blocked him but two like bitch we were on the same level and you weren't even like acting worth a shit so I cut you the fuck off but now my best revenge on him is looking back and seeing that he's still the fucking same and now I'm someone he would dream about being with. You can't fucking access me now. THAT is revenge, bitch.

Because now he gets to live his life, knowing that he fucked shit up with me, and he gets to see the potential of what he could have had, and he's never gonna fucking get it. THAT, you are condemning someone to a life-long regret when they fumbled a bag with you. Oh my god, it's the most satisfying shit in the world. You are condemning someone to a lifelong regret when they fumbled a bag with you. Oh my God, it's the most satisfying shit in the world.

Like, you could have accessed an older version of me, but the new me, you can't touch bitch, you're not of caliber, you're not good enough for the new me. Oh my God, I can't tell you how good that shit fucking feels. Like that, oh, it's better than drugs, it's better than any drug you could think of. Okay, so now let's jump into what would Leo do

where I'm gonna give you advice. So our first scenario, this girl started dating this guy that she was best friends with. Like there were best friends for a long time and then they went into dating. And she says he's very sweet, caring, he's the funniest person she's met. She has a lot of mental health issues and this is the first guy that has been able to

handle her and care about her and be sweet to her. But she's not attracted to him and she's never felt like an intense drive or desire for him. She's looking for that feeling of the obsession, like I fucking want you. And she hasn't had that and she also says the sex sucks and it's not passionate but her main struggle is she's scared to break his heart. She said he's got a kind heart and she's scared to break his heart and fuck him up because like he's good to her but she's just not feeling it. So babe I've got you. I've got you for two different avenues you could go. So I would look at am I willing to put in the effort of loving

this person. When I say love logically in the effort of loving this person? When I say love logically, this is one of the examples that you have to love logically. If you can see this person is physically attractive, they meet, like, they check off all your boxes, but you just don't feel that intense, like, feeling state toward them of like,

oh my God, I want you. And like, the sex is kind of like me. There's things you can do to spark that. So if you can see logically that they're everything that you want and they would be a good stable person to be with, you can choose to make it work or you can choose to opt out. I'm gonna go into opting out also, but for now, if you choose to consciously love him and make that shit work, All you have to do is switch your perspective and your outlook on him.

So a big thing for me when I don't feel like a drive towards somebody is I don't fucking respect you. So look at him and look at what would he need to do so that I could respect him or what would I need to see so that I would start to respect him. Like how are you looking at him where you just don't feel the urges that you want to feel?

Like look at what would it take for you to feel the drive that you want to feel toward him? What would you have to see in him? What would he have to be for you to feel that way? And then start looking for it. Flip your perspectives on it. Start communicating and start making that shit work because it can truly happen. Like if you logically can see someone is great for you

and they check off all the boxes, you just don't feel it, sometimes you're not gonna feel it. Relationships are not the intense drive. Like love is not the intense feeling of like, oh my God, I love you. Love is the conscious fucking choice. And you can choose to make the relationship work and those feelings will come.

Because I swear to God, it only takes a few perspective shifts of how you're looking at this person to all of a sudden want to fuck. And he can feel that you are not drawn to him because the sex takes passion from both people. And if he doesn't feel passion from you, he's not gonna feel passionate. He might feel uncomfortable.

So the sex will amp up as soon as you start to respect this person because you're gonna wanna fuck them. You're gonna have that drive or you're gonna wanna be affectionate, you're gonna want all that. As soon as you change the way that you're seeing him. But if you've tried this and it's just not working or you're someone who wants to run off of that feeling,

like you have to have that feeling of like strong desire towards someone, if you're just not willing to put in the effort to make it work, there's nothing wrong with your decision. You can choose to stay and make it work, or you can choose not to. You're not bad for either one, but to make you feel more comfortable about leaving

if you know that's what you wanna do, you have to see that if you know you are not able to love someone, you're taking up the space for someone else to step in that would love them, the way that he needs to be loved. Okay? So you have to realize if you're going to leave, you're not leaving him and breaking him, you know you can't love him.

And by stepping out, you're clearing a spot for someone else to step in who can love him the way that you can. And that is the best thing you can do if you know that you're not able to love him, you're not able to give him what he wants, you're not able to care about him the way that you think that he deserves. Stepping out and letting someone else step in to do that is the best thing for both of you. And it's not selfish, it's not mean to like leave him and break his heart. It's gonna suck for a while. You're gonna feel like fucking shit. But if you know that you cannot love him

That's the right decision to make. That's the best thing you could do for both of you because flip the situation Imagine you loved him and cared about him and he didn't love you and he was just staying with you out of pity Because he feels bad. He doesn't want to hurt you You wouldn't want someone to stay with you out of pity You wouldn't want someone to stay just because they didn't want to hurt you You don't want them to get the fuck out of the way so someone else would come in. So like I said, you're not wrong for either decision and I hope both explanations of like either decision that you do make brought you clarity and gave you reassurance that you're not an asshole, you're not a dick.

This is workable if you want to work on it but if you don't want to work on it, I don't know too much about what you're going through but from what you wrote wrote in the message I hope I gave you enough clarity for both. Alright, next situation for what would Leo do. I fucking love this little segment, WLD. Fuck on what would Jesus do, bitch. I ain't turning the water into wine. I'm giving you some real life fucking advice. So this girl wrote in with such a problem to have.

Everybody just falls in love with her. Okay, I'm fucking around. But really, this girl wrote in and said that she becomes friends with guys. And then they always end up admitting to her that they want to be with her. Like they confess feelings for her. And she said that, she says in the beginning,

look, I just want to be friends, but then after time goes along, the guys will usually admit, like, oh, I've been in this for like the long game, I want to date you, like I've wanted to date you since the beginning, and I was hoping by being your friend, like it would just develop.

So, there's a lot to unpack with that, but first thing I wanna say is, you're not a fucking bitch, you're not wrong, you're not the asshole. If you warn these people, I do not want to date you. If they chose to still go into the friendship, hoping it turns into a relationship and they hurt their own fucking feelings, that's on them. You communicated your intentions. You communicated what it could have been. Now, if they wanted to go forward with it anyway with hidden intentions, that's on fucking them. You gave them clarity, you were straight to fuck up from the jump. So you're not the dick and you never will be the fucking dick.

So I want to give you that piece of mind. But another thing I want to make you aware of real quick is if you agree with a guy to become friends, feelings might have developed. So I don't want you to look at every guy you've been friends with being like, oh, they secretly just wanted to date me from the beginning. They lied to me, they manipulated me this whole time, thinking that I would wanna date them, trying to make me like them.

Some people might get into a friendship with you and then their feelings might develop for you. Like they might not have had any intention of dating you in the beginning, but after spending time around you, they like you bitch. And they have feelings for you and they want to be with you. So it might not be something that was planned from the beginning. It might have been something that developed and then they're coming to you with that. But I don't have too much information based off of what you submitted, but I just wanted to bring that perspective up to you. It's not a betrayal. Like it's just something that developed, and now you have to go about the situation like that, but you're still not a dick again for not wanting to

go through with it or not wanting to pursue them like that. Like you were clear up front. At the beginning, this is for friends. this is not for fucking or a relationship like you were clear and I want to take that weight off of your shoulders like they're gonna try and make you the dick because they're hurt this whole episode send it to them when someone don't like you back so men have very fragile egos and when they perceive that they're rejected or someone doesn't like them they fucking cope in all kind of ways typically they'll like attack you so like if guys try to make you the dick,

here's your reassurance, you fucking not. Play of this episode as many times as you goddamn need. You're not the dick, you're not wrong, you're not the asshole. If you communicate it from the beginning, but one thing I am gonna call you out on, because I love you, and I'm always here for y'all, and I'm gonna tell you what you need to hear even if you don't wanna hear it.

I'm very fair. So the thing I'm gonna say is, if you flirt with these boys, bitch, what are you fucking thinks gonna happen? Like if you are just being friends with someone, you have to make sure you're not flirting with them and you're not taking it past anything platonic because if you guys are just friends and you start flirting with them because you like the attention you like the reassurance you like all that like I get a bitch but you can't get mad when all of a sudden they start developing feelings for you

because if you've had it platonic and then you start flirting you what you're doing is opening their perspective to seeing you in a different light they're no longer gonna be looking at you as a friend they're gonna look at you as like wait I actually might like this bitch. Oh, they're gonna have a whole new perspective on you and it's not gonna be friend. It's gonna be girlfriend. So just check if you're the one flirting with them because you might be putting shit in their head and like making them look at you in a different way that they didn't plan to look at you in. But like if you're

sending the signals of like, you're interested, you flirt and you be like, whatever, they're gonna start looking at you like that. So you gotta set up clear boundaries with yourself of like, how you will and won't treat them, how far you're willing to push it to flirt. Like, you have to watch that. It's like a tricky thing to navigate. Okay, so situation number three, this one makes me laugh, because bitch me too. This guy wrote an inset, I have no interest in anyone. That's so fucking me.

Cause bitch, that's real. That's really real and I feel you on that, but I do have advice for you. Because this is what I've had to do. And once I'm ready to start looking for a relationship, this is what I will do to find someone that catches my interest. So I want you to look at everything

that's not catching your attention. Why do things not impress you? Why are you not like, why are you not interested in anyone? And then I want you to look at what would catch your interest? What would make you like someone? What would you have to see in someone or how would someone have to be for you to be like, oh, bitch, I like you. Think about what it would take to trigger that feeling for you. And I really want you to make a list ooh, bitch, I like you. Think about what it would take to trigger that feeling for you. And I really want you to make a list. Like I love making a motherfucking list. I make lists for everything.

But real life, make a list of everything it would take for someone to catch your attention. Because then you have a fucking blueprint of the type of people you need to be looking for. So once you see all the things that would catch your attention, you know, okay, these are the type people that are this way. These are the type people that have these qualities and are are these things. Then you can ask yourself, where the fuck do these people hang out? How the fuck can I get around these people? How can I meet these

type people? Because if you know what catches your interest, you know what to look for. You're not just going to be sitting around and like passively waiting, like, oh, I'm just waiting for someone to catch my interest. Take a more empowered approach and put a little more control behind it. Don't just wait for the universe to give you shit. That's a big part of manifestation. Like you gotta fucking put your ass behind it too.

You can't just say you want something. So look at what would it take for you to be interested in someone? Then think, where would this person be? Where would these type people be that I would be interested in, and then go put your ass in those situations and put your ass around them, like find these people, seek them out. And I promise you will come across more people than you realize, because this has happened to me a little bit, like I made my list, and then it's like as soon as I just declared the things that would catch

my interest, I'm seeing it a little bit more and I'm like, oh fuck. Like I don't want to have to act on a relationship, I'm scared. But you will honestly be shocked at the amount of people that you start seeing because you're actively going to be telling your brain what to look for. Right now you have no clarity about how to feel interested in someone, but as soon as you get clarity around it, you're going to train your brain and like tell it what to look for and then you're going to start seeing it. The more you focus on it, the more you're gonna see it. So keep your fucking listen nearby

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like brought up on what would Leo do in a future episode and you want my advice and my little hot take, send me your situation what you got going on. You can leave it in the comments or you can DM it to me on Instagram. My Instagram is D. Leo Skeppy, because I know some shit's private and you don't want like your business out there. And like you guys have seen, I make an anonymous. I don't give enough identifiers for people to know who it is,

but I give you the advice for your situation. So that's all I got for this episode. I will talk to you guys next Sunday. Be safe. God damn it. I will talk to you guys next Sunday. Be safe. God damn it.