Aware & Aggravated - 5. Reset Your Anger. Getting Revenge Will Repeat The Cycle Until You Learn This

Episode Date: September 7, 2024

This is how to truly let go of anger and wanting to get revenge without feeling like it's self betrayal. Harming those who have hurt you was the only way you knew how to stop pain until now. Trying to feel better will no longer be opposed after you listen to this episode. Life will finally make sense again, and you'll stop fantasizing about the "end." You're going to be ok, and it's safe to feel better!   Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   Merch: https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1   FaceBook Support Community:  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw   Business Inquiries: [e-mail] 

This is everything I wish I knew a lot sooner. And if you want to get revenge right now and if you feel like you want to cause destruction, the real reason you haven't done it yet isn't because you don't feel justified in doing it. It's because part of you desperately does not want to cause harm. And that's very, very important. This is how I truly reset the desire to want to cause destruction and get revenge without it feeling like self betrayal. This is going to get really, really intense.

So little heads up and warning to people. And I'm going to be completely transparent and honest in this episode. And I have to be vulnerable. And I'm scared to do that because last time I did it online, it did not go well and it made everything worse. And I'm hoping this time it's a lot more clear my intentions. I'm going to talk about very, very serious things and there's no way to kind of lay this out besides talking about my own experience of it. So I'm going to talk about it. Honestly,

a lot of things I'm about to say are going to make me be seen as insane and crazy to a lot of people. Some people will get it and some people are going to judge it. And I'm going to ask everyone to suspend their judgment about how harsh and how crazy some of the things I'm about to say are because the message behind it is to help people who want to cause destruction, not do it. This year of my life through 2024 has been some of the darkest places I've ever been. And I'm about to start laughing

because I'm aware of how crazy this sounds, but to articulate how dark of a spot I was actually in. If you told me a month ago that someone was going to hit the nuke for the world, I wanted to be the one to do it. And if someone set off the nuke and it wasn't me, I would have been so angry. I'm not meaning to laugh because I'm playing it down like it's a small thing. I'm actually laughing because I'm so shocked at like how truly convicted I was in this. Like I actually was so angry at the thought of the world blowing up and it not being by my finger hitting the button.

This is going to get clipped out of context. Thinking about this made me so angry because I truly felt like so robbed of the opportunity to finally get to express what I haven't been able to express for so long. And I felt like being the one to hit the button would be the only thing that could do it. And I also wanted to declare that I no longer feel like that truthfully in my heart. And I've wanted to talk about a lot of these things for a long time, but it would have been bullshit. It would have been bullshit.

It would have been a lie. But now that I truly no longer feel this way, I feel safe to talk about it. Logically in my mind, this made zero sense, but emotionally it felt 1000% valid. And I had an experience recently where I almost died in a car accident. I accepted before I crashed that I was going to die. And I thought that was it. And when the crash happened and I opened my eyes and realized I was still alive, I was so angry. And I was so scared, like genuinely and so much fear. And the fear was that I almost died with all of the hurt that I felt

and all the pain that I felt trapped inside of me. I full-fledged in that moment opened my eyes and was like, I'm getting revenge on every single person and every single thing until I see it fit. My only regret was not destroying people who hurt me and getting my revenge. Truthfully, I was so convicted in it. When I opened my eyes, I was like, I've tried to restrict it.

I've tried to hold off on hurting people and doing crazy, crazy things. I was like, I need to be the bigger person. I need to be the bigger person, but the pain didn't stop. The betrayals didn't stop. The hurt didn't stop. And when I almost died, I was so like, I'm doing it. I finally felt like I had a reason to no longer have to be the bigger person.

I felt what it was like to get to the end of my life and almost die and accept it. And my regret was almost dying with the pain trapped inside of me. To a lot of people, this will not make sense. It will not make logical sense. But to the people who understand how I feel and to the people who want to cause destruction and get revenge, I saw getting revenge and hurting those who hurt me as the only way

to express how hurt I was. Expressing I was hurt was never a safe thing to do. And my power was in damage and destruction that I could cause to what hurt me. And I'm gonna walk you back through my childhood to help you understand yourself better by like walking you through this shit. So when I was younger, I got bullied all through elementary, middle, and some of high school. And I don't mean people were just like cyber bullying me or calling me names, like I was physically harmed and people would beat me and hurt me

along with make fun of me, ostracize me from doing things, push me out of the group, like made me a spectacle. And there was all the verbal and emotional shit, but also physical. And when I was younger, I used to cry to my parents, please don't make me go back to school. And I felt so trapped in it. And when these people would hurt me

and would be physically attacking me, I would cry and beg them to stop. I would truly just beg and cry and plead for someone to have mercy. And no one did. And in my childhood I learned quickly that expressing that you're hurt does nothing to change the way that people treat you. And you being in pain

does not change people's behavior, it doesn't make anyone care. Expressing that you're hurt, crying, being vulnerable, didn't matter. If you were in pain and people saw you were in pain, it made them want to keep going. So I cut off from being vulnerable and saying that things hurt me. None of the bullying stopped and being harmed and attacked did not stop until the day that I punched the first kid in the face. And in that moment, I felt like a sense of power

and like control. And it was the only thing that ever made someone stop hurting me was to hurt them. Crying and begging and pleading didn't work. And I cried for years. I was just a genuine little kid, got made fun of because I was feminine and like I was gay, but I didn't know at the time. And everybody sensed something was off about me. I grew up around women, so I had feminine characteristics. I was

a feminine kid and none of the boys liked me. They all beat the hell out of me because I was gay. They didn't like me. Everybody just attacked me because I was different and they didn't understand why. And it's not like I was mean and harmful and rude. That came later. But up until the point where I hurt the first person who was hurting me and it stopped the pain, I didn't hurt anybody. I didn't like to make fun of anybody. I wasn't a mean kid. Like I was a genuine,

just happy little motherfucker and I didn't want to hurt anybody. I wanted to be friends with everybody. I wanted to make sure everybody was okay. And I didn't understand why I was being attacked. And the first day that I cracked that kid in the face and the pain stopped, he sat down. I had that association connect in my head of destruction keeps you safe. Harming those who harm you is the only way to get the pain to stop. Harming people is the only way to get them to change their behavior and how they treat

you. That is what was wired in my brain way back when. And I was not aware of this till recently cause things got real bad. It kept getting triggered until I like revisited it and like flipped it. Anger and violence were the only thing that I ever felt I had power in. I felt powerless to absolutely everything else. The only time I felt powerful or felt like I had any kind of control was when I was causing destruction.

And I never looked at people and just went out and attacked them first or just was mean or rude from the get-go. It's like as soon as I felt threatened or hurt or attacked, I would destroy whoever or whatever was doing it. And even if I lost the fight or I got jumped back in the day, I got jumped plenty of times. But even if I got jumped, I would swing until I knocked out. I didn't care if the threat was bigger than me. That was the only type of protection I felt like I had. And by going bat shit crazy and just swinging until I got knocked out, made an association with people of he's not going to go down easy. So we're not going to fuck with him.

And it was my way of like, even if I lost the fight causing any level of harm or destruction while I was being harmed helped to do nothing was useless. It changed nothing and it made it worse to cry, to be vulnerable, made it 10 times worse and people would pray on it. And then they would make fun of me for being upset or begging for mercy. Basically, I'm not saying any of this for like pity or for anyone to feel bad for me.

I caused a lot of fucking harm. I sure did. And what people would do to me, I would do 10 times worse. I would take it there. And that was the only thing I felt like kept me safe. So I'm not scot-free. I'm not innocent. I felt like kept me safe. So I'm not scot-free. I'm not innocent. I'm not anything like that. Like I've caused my fair share of destruction, but I do empathize with myself when I was younger because I didn't understand why.

And I didn't understand all of these things being wired in my head. It was the only way I knew how to keep myself safe. And there was no question in it because it kept working. The thing that's clear now is the only thing you want when you're harming someone or causing destruction, whether you think it's justified or not is you want people to wake up and see the pain that they're causing. You want people to see how they're harming you or harming someone else and your

desperate attempt to get people to see the pain that they're causing and stop is by causing them pain. And that's valid from certain angles, but the whole point of me saying that is the only thing you're hoping for is for people to stop hurting people. But you're doing it when you're causing destruction and getting revenge and harming other people, even though it's with the intent of to wake them up. You're causing the same thing that you want to stop. Like wanting people to wake up and be more considerate and care about other people is all you truly want. You don't want to hurt people. You don't want to destroy people. You don't want to unalive people. I've been there too, but that's not really what you want to do.

You just want people to wake up and stop hurting each other. You want people to be more considerate of each other. That's the core of it. That's why you're really wanting to cause damage. And I've felt the exact same way. It's how we all are that have been wired like this. But my whole thing with wanting to cause destruction was the more destruction I caused, I was thinking that it showed how hurt I was. I thought the more destruction I caused was communicating how hurt I was. And I was at a point, like I said,

where if the nuke went off for the world, I wanted to be the motherfucker to do it because I felt like truly that is the only thing that would make me feel like the pain that I felt and the hurt that I had inside of me could be expressed. I felt like that was the only level of destruction that would match how hurt I felt. But the thing about causing destruction and thinking that it's communicating how hurt you are is people are never ever going to see you cause destruction and say, wow, you were so hurt, weren't you? People are only going to see the destruction and write you off as evil.

They're not going to reflect on their actions. They're not going to reflect on how they hurt others and want to stop. They're just going to write off what you did as you were evil. They're not going to see that you were a hurt person. They're not going to see how much you truly did care because a lot of people think that I don't care. I feel so alone in feeling like I care so much about people and life and everything that I'm like, how can you not see how much I care? But the way that I was communicating it didn't match. Like to cause destruction does not communicate how much you care and how hurt you are.

There's no correlation and no one is ever gonna see that. For someone to go blow up a building and harm a lot of people, like thousands of people lose their lives. No one is gonna look at the person who did that and say, wow, you were so hurt. No one's ever gonna see it. It's never gonna work. It's never going to work.

It was never going to work. And I lined up with this experience head on. When I shared my experience of what happened with an ex of mine online, it felt like the entire internet turned against me. I expressed in a video like over a year and a half ago, the experience that I had with an ex of mine and what I went through and everything that was done to me and I shared how my life was destroyed. I also shared like a lot of my life in like the beginning stages of my life that had nothing to do with this person where in my own fucked up way I was trying to communicate how hurt I was and how hurt I had been by life.

And I was trying to communicate how my ex did so many things to hurt me, that it pushed me to a point I wanted to cause an immense amount of harm to him and innocent people that he cared about. And I shared this genuinely just from the heart, how I saw it at the time, not understanding all of this that I understand now. And me in my own way, trying to share how hurt I was by describing the destruction I wanted to

cause. I thought that was me communicating. I was hurt. People saw that and tried to destroy me. A lot of people turned on me and wrote me off as evil. I didn't even fucking do it. But just talking about what I was wanting to do scared a lot of people. It scared a lot, a lot of people. And many, many creators started making videos about me and the internet kind of turned on me. And I felt like all the good I had tried to do with my platform, all the money I've turned down to try and be like honest and truthful

and have integrity and the way that I've lived my life, all the good that I did, I felt like was completely written off and destroyed and people were trying to take me down and a lot of people caused a lot of damage to me. And it was because of that video. It was because of the way that I talked about how I wanted to get revenge for the hurt that was put on me. People didn't see how hurt I was. People didn't see why I was pushed to that point.

People just saw that I was evil and I was crazy and they didn't understand and they had no clarity at all or they couldn't see me because I wasn't expressing how I actually felt. I was expressing things from the level that I knew it at the time, but the internet turned on me and a lot of people like hundreds of thousands of people didn't care to hear the justification or the hurt that I went through or the context of what pushed me to that point. People took the part of the video where I talked about causing harm and didn't care about any of the context.

They just capitalized on that and shared that to try and paint me out like I'm some evil person. And I fully get it now. I fully understand why that scared so many people because people who didn't know me and didn't understand my intentions and what I was trying to do, people who didn't watch any of my other videos of my podcast that know that I'm truly like trying to help people and I care so much about people. They didn't see that.

All they saw was someone who was talking about wanting to cause this level of destruction and was kind of smiling about it. And they saw me with all these followers, which subconsciously people see as power. They saw me making money. They saw me being glorified and being cared about. They saw this destructive and seemingly evil person from their perspective being boosted and being given a platform. And their entire sense of right and wrong and their entire sense of what the hell is life definitely got challenged. These

people wanted to take me down and they wanted to destroy me because they were scared. They saw because they were scared. They saw someone like me at the time being given more power and they were shit scared of what I was going to do with it because clearly I was not rational to them. And the way that I spoke was not clear about what I was actually feeling and what I meant and what I wanted. I didn't even know at the time. I shouldn't have spoke on it back then because I didn't fucking know. Now I know and now I can speak on it better. But before I knew what I wanted. I didn't even know at the time. I shouldn't have spoke on it back then because I didn't fucking know. Now I know and now I can speak on it better. But before I knew what I know now, when these people tried to destroy me and take me down, I felt so unseen and misunderstood and I felt so like powerless again. And this triggered every single thing that made me want to cause destruction even worse.

I literally could not understand how I got online and talked about how this person was destroying my life. And that is what pushed me to the point of wanting to destroy them and cause immense damage. People saw that video and then made videos doing the exact same thing. These people did the exact thing I said pushed me to want to destroy someone and then did it themselves. Multiple people. And I could not understand how at the time I was like, these people are so stupid. Like how are someone going to explain to you what pushed them to this point? And then you go do the exact same thing and you think nothing's going to happen.

When everybody started making videos, I did not know how to deal with it. I started getting swatted. The SWAT team was showing up at my apartment in LA. I started leaving, like fleeing the city. I flew all the way across the United States and was hiding out and kind of doing my own thing. I didn't cause any damage. I didn't harm anyone like in that video that I talked about, but a year after posting it, people inflated this whole story like it was current and everything I was doing

was written off, wiped out. And I was in the middle of a couple of really big deals, like opportunities that I had been so excited about. And I'm talking six figure opportunities that when people started making these videos were taken away and this narrative that was pushed caused a lot of destruction to me in my life. And I could not understand how this happened. And all of the thoughts and feelings of wanting to destroy my ex

were amplified times 10 against all of the people who made videos about me. I wanted to show how hurt I was in the only way that I knew how, which was to cause damage. All right, quick pause. Our first sponsor is Quince. And Quince is a really good website as a go-to for basic high quality essentials. Like anything you need for staples in your closet,

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Compounded medication is not required to and does not receive FDA review or approval. It's prescription only. So keep that in mind, do your research, and check everything out and be safe. At this point of everything I felt fully trapped in pain and being hurt from every angle and I couldn't do anything to stop it. All the people making videos, I just saw more and more opportunities going away. Everything I worked for getting destroyed, people turning on me, people betraying me. A lot of people stuck by me. And the people who saw my heart knew it.

And the people who stuck with me and my podcast and people who still care about me and the people who still came to my tour. The tour was insane. Like people were actually so mad that so many people still came to my tour. I just want to say thank you to every single one of to protect myself with destruction. And I only knew how to express I was hurt with destruction. And I was basically trapped because I was in the public eye. I had more money. I had more power. But I couldn't get away with things like I could have before if I were to cause damage. So I sat back and I waited for it to get worse. And I was kind of hoping that it would. I was so hopeful I would lose everything to the people who made videos. I hoped my entire career

would get destroyed. I hoped I would lose every dollar I had because I felt like then I could finally exact revenge on a way bigger scale. I felt comforted by the thought of taking on all the hurt. I wanted more hurt because I knew when I finally got to cause destruction, it was gonna be worth it. I was literally sitting there just knowing that my relief was coming. All the pain that came on, I was okay taking on the pain, losing more and more and being more and more hurt because I knew the more that came in was the more destruction that I was gonna finally get to cause. And I was finally gonna let the pain out. I was gonna get to let it out finally. So I felt better about sitting back and just letting the pain fall on because I

didn't feel powerless to it. I felt like I'm going to fully get to express it, but I'm not going to express it until I fully feel justified. To be completely honest and transparent, the only justification I saw that would allow me to unleash was if I lost absolutely everything. If everyone turned on me, if I lost every dollar, if everything I had worked for had gotten taken from me, that was my justification. And that trapped me in a reality where I didn't know subconsciously I wanted worse things

to happen to me. I wanted to have everything be taken away. I felt in so much pain and felt no way to express it besides destruction at the time. So I was trying to continue forward and like I was consciously like, Oh, I want to feel better. I want to go about life and see improvement subconsciously. I wanted destruction to happen to me. I wanted bad things to happen. I wanted everything to be taken away because I saw no way to get rid of the

pain. I wanted the full justification to be able to finally express it the only way I saw possible. And I was trapped this whole year in so many things happening to me that caused me pain. I've never experienced more hurt in my life. And now I can see how I was a match to it and how I was manifesting it because I wanted that justification. The only thing I felt like would get me out of pain was more pain to get me to the point where I felt justified to express that pain. Does that make sense? And my weird twisted fucked up way. This was what was going on subconsciously in my head. I was so unaware of it. I didn't understand why bad things kept happening to me.

I kept feeling more and more punished by God, the universe, whatever it is. And I kept feeling more and more hopeless about people and society and the world. Like I truly was just like, nothing's ever gonna get better because I had opposition in the back of my head. Like subconsciously I wanted it to get worse, but in my day to day life I was like, no, I want to make it better.

I want to like help and do good. And it was like, everything I did good met with the bad outcome because I secretly wanted everything to go away so I could finally set myself free from the pain. I saw talking about it as useless. There was no words that would have described the amount of pain that I was in. And from my experience and my subconscious, things that were wired in my mind, talking did nothing. Showing hurt did nothing. Causing destruction was how to do it. But the weird thing is I didn't lose everything. And it trapped me in the pain that I couldn't get rid of.

I couldn't flip. I couldn't express. I didn't know what the hell to do with it. And I was trapped in it for so long that I'm now at a point where I've flipped it and I understand it. And I see all of this differently. All of these feelings were a repeat cycle. Like this all happened before. And I didn't become aware of what was going on in my head that I needed to

flip. I wasn't aware of the thing that was causing me so much pain and it repeated the cycle. And the second time it was 10 times worse. And that is what finally made me wake up to it and see everything going on in my head. Like I had to just sit with that pain and not be able to express it the way that I knew how. It's important for me to talk about this because if you feel trapped, you are. Because you are not meant to cause the destruction you feel like you need to cause.

You are not meant to cause the destruction that you feel like you want to so desperately. Causing destruction is not the way to your desired outcome. Causing pain is not the way to get out of pain. And one thing I'm going to challenge you with is if you were meant to do it, you would have gotten the justification already. You're not meant to do it. And you're too smart to understand justification is like a fully dead set thing. You understand how slippery justification is. You know that things are not justified the way that you once thought. You're trapped because you see how slippery of a slope it is. You see how it's not actually justified. It's justified for you to feel that you want to do that,

but it is never going to be justified for you to actually do it. And like I said, you're meant to flip it. You're meant to transform it. You're meant to go into yourself and flip the switch that was flipped a long time ago in the opposite direction. But again, you are not meant to cause the harm that you think a long time ago in the opposite direction. But again, you are not meant to cause the harm that you think you want to cause. Cause like I said, if you were meant to, you'd have gotten your justification already. You haven't gotten it because you're not meant to do it.

And I hope this episode has helped you see more into yourself and has helped you the way that this has helped me because I feel so different. I feel so much better about life. And I want to talk about kind of setting yourself free from the pain constantly. But one more thing I want to point out if you feel powerless, when I say you're not meant to do it, I know you probably see no way out. I've been there before when you feel like there's no way out, it's a struggle just to get through life. And there was a big point a few months ago where I felt like a rabid animal. I felt like my skin was like gone and every single thing in life hurt. Every person going outside, going anywhere hurt.

And I understood that I could cause destruction. I was powerful in it. Like I felt my power in destruction and harm. And I just wanted to be left alone like a wild animal. It's like you walk up to it after it's been hurt so many times and anything that walks up to it hurts it. So you just attack whatever has come up to you. So you can go back to like just laying back down and like curling up and just like sitting there and being in your pain. Like anything around you would cause more.

So it's like anything that comes up, you just want to attack it. So you can go lay back down and just wait and just sit there and suffer. Have a little bit of peace while you suffer until you finally get your justification where you can make it all right in your own head and in your own way.

It's such a weird thing to experience that feeling because you feel very, very weak. But I want to point out, that's the exact opposite of what you are for the amount of pain for you to be in. And you're still drawing breath is not normal. You are so much stronger than you fucking realize. You are so much stronger than you can even fathom. And you see strength in the destruction and the rage and the anger. Anger feels like power to you. But that's the only way that you feel safe to feel a sense of power and a sense of control.

You were made strong enough to deal with this level of pain because you're meant to relinquish that version of feeling a sense of power and find a new one. There are other ones. And I hope right now you feel a lot better about feeling so weak and feeling so powerless. You're not powerless because you would have crippled by now. The amount of pain you feel, most people can't even touch it. They can't handle it, but you're still living bitch. You're doing it. I've been there.

I've thought the exact same things. And that feeling of wishing you were just a little bit weaker so you could finally just break. Yeah, you can't break. You're not gonna break because you're not meant to. You're meant to flip this. But another really, really big source of the pain you're feeling and the thing making it worse is you don't want to do it. You do not want to cause the harm, I know. But I know also that you see that it's the only way to finally stop the pain and to get out of the pain and to express the pain. It's the only thing you see. And you feel up against the wall of like, I do not want to do this, but it's the only thing I see. It's the only thing you see right now.

It's the only thing I saw for a long time. And the thing that helped me with that and kind of set me free from it and made me hopeful that there's a new way to express pain and stop pain is to understand people only hurt you because of the exact same reason. You are up against and you are dealing with people who are treating you the same way you want to treat them. They want their pain to stop. They don't see a way to stop their pain. And they want to cause pain to express and reveal how much pain they're in. You fully understand the people who are causing you pain. If it's people, you do going at them like they're going at you is not going to stop it. Sure. You can destroy them. You could take their life from them,

but is it going to stop it? Is it going to change anything? No. That's not the way to actually get someone to stop causing you pain. This will just continue the cycle. This is the cycle you're on this earth to break. And that perspective is what truly made me feel no resentment toward anyone who's made videos about me. I hated these people, but now I'm grateful that they made these videos. I'm grateful that these people hurt me because they were hurt because it caused such a reflection that it's so dead set in front of my face. And I saw it.

It finally woke me up to break the cycle. So the people who wanted to destroy me online and wanted to take me down were operating from their fear of someone so dangerous being put in a place of power and being loved. They felt vulnerable. They felt scared. They didn't know how to protect themselves and feel better about the world. If someone like how I used to be was so great and was getting loved and like, was getting more power, they felt terrified. They felt like the only way to protect themselves and to relieve themselves of pain was to destroy me.

You see how destruction does not stop destruction until you stop causing it. That's where I'm at now. And I'm not lying. When I say I'm truly grateful to the people who made videos about me, and I never ever, ever in my life thought that I would say that. I never thought I could look at someone who hurt me and say thank you. But I truly do feel like that.

I have no ill will toward any of the people who harmed me. I have no ill will toward anyone who's made a video. I was in a place where I was wishing the worst on these people. And now I feel bad. I even wished it because now I see it fully different. Like I don't have any ill will toward these people at all. And I can't explain the relief that I feel now. And the pain you feel, it can be transmuted.

And I'm someone who felt enough pain that I thought the entire world ending would have finally been enough to express it. Like that's a lot of pain. To some people, it's gonna seem dramatic and a little like exaggerated, but to the people who relate to what I'm saying, you get it. You understand it. And I'm not fucking being dramatic. That's how I truly felt.

But for me to feel that level of pain and flip it, babe, I promise you can fucking do it. I promise you can do it. And the way you feel after is nuts. But I also want to talk about what happens after you become aware that you have a subconscious need for more pain. The pain stops. You're going to stop attracting experiences that cause you more pain because you now see just after watching this video, you don't have to do nothing. Just watch how things flip. You've been attracting pain to push you to that level of justification where you could end the pain for yourself in the way that you saw by causing destruction.

You saw there was a subconscious need. You didn't understand why more things kept happening to you to hurt you. You no longer need those experiences. You're no longer a match to that anymore without realizing. Things will stop hurting you from this moment forward. Things will make a lot more sense. And your powerlessness to the pain that happens, watch what happens, it's gonna flip.

Things that are causing you pain in your life right now, they're about to fall, they're about to go away. You don't need them anymore because you don't need the justification because you don't need the justification You don't need the hurt to push you there. So these experiences will cease to exist in your life Sounds nuts, but just wait like literally come back to this video and leave a comment after a week and tell me what the fuck Is flipped after a month? Tell me all the things that seem to just magically stop happening because you no longer subconsciously needed them to hurt you.

Also, with every single thing you try and do to make yourself feel better or to see an improvement, you're no longer going to feel like it's useless. And you're no longer going to feel like every time you try to feel better, it makes you feel worse because you now realize you don't need to keep going down toward that justification. It's safe to feel better. It's safe to experience happiness because to experience happiness before you knew all this was to get you further away and further trapped in the pain that you want the justification to express. It's all going to make sense, but I want to reassure you, it's safe to feel better. And that is what my next episode is going to be about. And I'm going to go into different emotions and how you can truly feel like it's safe to feel better and to feel improvements in your life and how it's safe

to feel certain emotions. Because for a lot of us, anger was the only one that kept us safe. Because like I said, in the beginning, crying got me made fun of. Crying got me beat worse. There's a lot of emotions that are unsafe to feel and you will subconsciously flip into the next one to get out of the emotions that feel unsafe. But that's what the next episode is going to be about. If you found this helpful at all, leave this video a thumbs up and leave me a comment and let me know that you liked it. I don't even want to promote the whole bullshit of like subscribe, five star rating, scratch it. I don't care.

This episode's from the heart and I truly want to know if this helped you because I'll keep trying to articulate it better if this didn't work because I want people to feel the relief that I feel. I want people to let go of their need for destruction and I want people to feel the relief that I feel. I want people to let go of their need for destruction. And I want people to get this information before they cause destruction that they'll regret and do things that you can't take back. I promise there's another way out. And I hope this video made you feel hopeful about it and steered you in the direction of feeling like there's a crack in a new door and you see a little bit of a light that you

can go through. Last thing I want to say is you're not crazy and you're not alone in the hurt that you feel and you're not alone in the ways that you feel like you are and you're safe is the biggest thing I want to say. That's it. It's okay to feel better. It's safe to feel better and it's all going to get better. I promise.