Aware & Aggravated - 50. Feeling Alone When You're Around People

Episode Date: November 13, 2022

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Hi friends, this week I'm gonna talk about something that kick started my spiritual awakening Which was feeling alone in a room full of people like being around people and still feeling alone That feeling and that like whole thing going on inside me is what led me to Discovering the whole like spirituality shit. So I'm gonna kind of break down What's going on what happens and then like a couple things about how to deal with it? Because that's a very very what happens, and then like a couple things about how to deal with it. Because that's a very, very weird feeling to have. It's like feeling lonely, so you go be around people and then you still feel lonely, even when you're around people.

So the whole thing that happened with me, I think I was 20. And I was at my cousin's house. I'm very close to my cousins, very, very close to them. And I was sitting in the living room with them, and there's like four of them, plus my sister was there, so there's only six people in this room, and I'm around all these people that care about me, and all these people that love me.

And I just sat there on the couch for a minute, and I was like, why the fuck do I feel so alone? Like I'm literally sitting here, I can reach out and touch my cousin sitting next to me, they're that close to me. Why the fuck do I feel alone right now? Why do I feel so isolated? I felt like sunken in.

That's like the best way to describe the feeling state was I just felt like sunken in and alone and isolated. Like just me. Like I just didn't feel connected to anyone. I didn't feel close to anyone. I felt so fucking alone, even though they were literally close enough for me to touch them. And that did not make close to anyone. I felt so fucking alone even though they were literally close enough for me to touch them And that did not make sense to me and that's what sent me on my hunt for answers of like bitch

Someone got some explaining to do got bitch. You got some explaining to do. Why do I feel like this? It don't make no logical sense That's one of the biggest things that really kicked off my spiritual awakening I have other stories and shit of like things that have happened that are weird as hell I have other stories and shit of like things that have happened that are weird as hell But I'm not gonna get into that with this one, but understanding the way that I felt was like okay I feel alone around people Something's not adding up so I need to look at it So I started evaluating it and looking at it and looking for answers looking for like solutions and shit and I couldn't find them

So that's what I'm here to share today. And the first thing I wanna talk about is what I realized about your internal world and your external world. So everything going on inside you and everything going on outside of you. That's two different worlds, but you're the only one that can experience what's going on inside you.

Like pain, emotions, feelings, sensations. Like you're the only one that can experience what's going on in you. like you're the only one that can experience what's going on in you. And you're the only one that can validate it. You're the only one that knows the truth of it. So like other people outside of you, you might say, oh, I'm sad. And they can look at physically everything around you

and everything you have going for your life and like everything going on and be like, why the fuck are you sad? They don't get it. Like there's more going on internally, people can't see. So that was one of the biggest realizations I had around it was like, your internal world

and your external world are separate and you're the only one experiencing the internal world. That can be good and bad shit. So like all your good things you're experiencing, all the good sensations, good feelings, and then all the bad shit and all like the things that you're struggling with. If you're the only one experiencing them and you're the only one that knows about

them, you're going to feel alone because there's a whole different world you're living in. Other people don't know about and other people are not included in. So in your external reality, yeah, there's people there. But in your internal reality, it's just you. And learning how to bring people in on my internal world is what helped me not feel alone around people anymore, because it wasn't a false sense of connection. I was not being around people, being in a whole separate world that they don't know about. Like I started to reflect what was going on inside me, outside of me.

So any problems I had, anything I was feeling, anything going on inside me, I started letting people know. It was not a quick thing. I didn't just all of a sudden like open up and just let everybody fucking know what was going on. It was a progression of like opening up slowly and then getting comfortable with it.

Because if you're someone that like holds everything in, it's because it wasn't safe to let it out. So if you just expect yourself to watch this episode and then flip your whole life and the way you've been living and bring people in on your internal world, you're not. It's gonna be fucking scary as shit. You don't know what people are gonna do

with what you share. Like you don't know if they're gonna attack you and validate you, not like you judge you. That's a very scary thing to do. So preventing people in is a safe route route but it's only gonna keep you safe and make you feel more comfortable for so long like the point I was at where I felt so disconnected from everyone around me and everything that it was fucking painful to just hold it in but sharing what's going on inside me was like the cure

it's really what fucking fixed it that That alone is its own journey, beach, because you have to get clear on like what is going on inside you. You have to become aware of it. You have to stop judging it. You have to face it and the truth of it. And one big thing people don't talk about with sexuality is how detached you feel when you're hiding it. Because when I was going through this period of like feeling so disconnected and isolated, that's when I really had to stop ignoring the truth about my sexuality and tap into it and own it. And it took a lot of internal work before I was able to allow that to reflect externally and let people know what was going on inside of me because fear of judgment and all that shit I was talking about before. And the closest thing I found to this online was people talking about authenticity. And it's about sharing the truth of who you are with others.

That will make you feel connected to them. But I like to look at it like sharing what's going on in your internal world, going on in your brain, going on in your heart, going on in your emotions. Like sharing all of that is what's not going to make you feel isolated and alone in it because people are aware of it. People can see it and people want to be there for you and comfort all parts of you and they want to get to know all the parts of you but not being straight was a part of me that a lot of people didn't know of before and they were only able to meet me as far as I would allow them to like

the truth of me. People didn't get to know the full true me. Like, I put on the image that I was straight so people just met me that far. They didn't get to meet the side of me that wasn't. And when I say you have to let people meet different parts of you, I'm gonna sound like a wacko for a minute, but every part of you is a different part.

That makes no fucking sense, but give me a second. I'm gonna explain. So every emotion you feel and everything that you experience and deal with inside of you is like a different part. That's kind of like how I like to look at it because it makes it easier to reveal to others. Like if I'm sad, that's a part of me, people never got to see before.

Like the only emotions I would express before I became aware and like woke the fuck up was anger and happiness. And that's one of the reasons that I went and found like a counselor and a therapist. I was like trying to figure out why do I only feel two emotions? Like I haven't cried since I'm 12. What the fuck is wrong? Like I had gone through so much heartbreaking shit and I hadn't shed a tear. Like I did not know how to cry.

I did not know how to feel sad. I would feel happy or I would feel pissed off. There was certain periods of numbness, but those are the only two emotions I was familiar with and that I could feel, I couldn't feel shit else. But if you have certain emotions, like if you feel sad, that's a part of you, you can let someone meet. Because I was such a little tough stuff back then, like I used to hide every side of me that I felt was weak or I felt would make people look at me in a certain way. And that led me to feel so fucking isolated. But the parts of me that people didn't know about or know even existed, I had to start sharing them. I had to start letting people meet the different parts of

me. Like the part of me that does get sad, the part of me that isn't secure, the part of me that does question things, the part of me that isn't secure, the part of me that does question things, the part of me that is sensitive and gets a spot to feel in her, because I'm a Pisces, there's no hiding that. But the part of me that doesn't just lash out in anger when he gets his feelings hurt, the part of me that actually is just upset.

So look at it like introducing people to those parts of you, like all the little aspects of you, all the things that you feel inside, every emotion state, every feeling, your pain, your desires, your boundaries, what you like, what you don't like, all of these are things that you need to allow people to meet. Or you're gonna feel isolated forever. There is no fucking cure to it besides this. Out of that I'm aware of because I hunted and searched beach. I saw plenty of counselors, plenty of therapists, fuck them.

They need to shit. All these self-help books didn't do shit. This is what I had to discover like in myself of like okay, get out of your body and observe the situation and what's going on. Why do you feel alone sitting here in front of all these fucking people? Like Leo, why would this person feel alone sitting in a room full of people? What the fuck's going on there? And that's what I learned from my observation of like digging into my own situation was I had to let people truly meet me. Like there was so much of myself

I was hiding and that's why I felt so fucking isolated. So it goes so deep and it's in so many small little things. It's in the small shit. Everybody when they make a change or they are going through something they wait for this big pivotal moment of like this huge just discovery of like this secret, this hack, this trick. There isn't one. This is the trick, but it's not a big thing. It's in every little thing that you do. It's in all the little parts of you that you haven't let people see, that you haven't let people meet, but you have to meet them first. So like me with my sexuality, I had to stop suppressing it and stop trying to disown it and like discard it.

I had to face the possibility that I might actually not be straight, but I just holding space for it to try and understand the way that I was feeling is what allowed me to meet it. Because if you sit here and you just judge yourself, you're never going to even go down the rabbit hole of exploring what's going on inside you. You have to just be able to give things inside you, your present. So thoughts, feelings, emotions, desires, anything, like just observe them and see what the fuck's going on inside you.

See if it's true or not. Play into it. Intertain the thoughts. Don't just immediately shut it down. Because when I would have sexual thoughts about like a fucking dude, I would shut it down immediately and I wouldn't even pay attention to it. But that meant I was not able to meet the part of me that was not straight. I wasn't able to go down that. I couldn't even like face it myself.

So that's the step one is like you have to face shit in yourself. You're scared to face There's so many things that are gonna completely deconstruct yourself concept and it's one of the most painful fucking things You can go through is realizing certain things going on inside you that are not accurate on the outside So when I had to completely like shift who I was on the outside I felt so fucking naked because there's a certain safety in hiding things and having like a wall up and having like a shell of like who you present

to the world. You present the part of you that is safe and has gotten you accepted for your whole life. That's what people typically present. So when you start realizing shit inside you that doesn't match that, you have to potentially go up to people looking like a fucking liar and looking like your fake Because you have to reveal what's truly in you and it's a hard thing and people are not gonna judge you that hard for it but the more you discover yourself

The more you're gonna have to switch the way that you present and a lot of things are going to change and it's going to feel so fucking uncomfortable. But this is the true way and the only way I've found to cure feeling alone around people. It's the only one. And it's a very, very tough road to go down, but it's the fucking true on that works. There's so many things you can do to numb out the feeling of feeling alone. You can distract yourself. You can do fucking drugs. You can drink whatever. Do what you got to fucking do. And so you're ready to face the truth of it. I just laid you out the roadmap of how to do it. And how to fix the problem for real. A lot of people teach like distractive techniques and things that are not truly going to bring

you in touch with yourself, but that's the thing. You have to get in touch with what's inside you and then represent it and let people meet that. That is what's going to make you feel cared about. If you just put on this image and this shell to people, they're gonna love this shell. They're gonna love the exterior you've put on. They're not gonna love who's inside it.

They don't fucking know who's inside it. And it's a normal thing for everyone to do this. Like everybody does this to a certain extent and everybody has to keep themselves safe and everybody presents what gets them accepted. It happens and then you become more aware and then you have to change it. But my biggest thing is just don't attack yourself

for what you discover in yourself because people don't warn you about the whole like self-development shit. Like it can turn into full-blown self-hatred and like you become disgusted with yourself and you fucking hate yourself. And that's what all leads you to wanting to no longer be here.

So take it easy, don't beat yourself up for what you discover. And just because you have a certain thought or feeling, it doesn't mean it's automatically true. But you have to go through your fear that it could potentially be true to face it and see what it really is. But if you want to talk about law of attraction shit, oh my god, I don't like to talk about date. A lot of hate that people have comes from how they treat themselves and now we're going to talk about being a vibrational match to how people treat themselves. And now we're gonna talk about being a vibrational match to how people treat you.

If you have a part of you, like the part of me that's gay. If I shut it down and I'm like, that's disgusting, fuck no, ew, I hate it. If I suppress that in myself, it's gonna reflect in my reality. And when it reflects in front of me through another person, I'm gonna treat them and that trait Exactly how I treated it in myself. I'm gonna fucking be disgusted by it. I'm gonna want to push it away

I'm gonna hate it and that also works on the flip side So as you start to get in touch with yourself and let's say you've like Had a negative experience with crying like if you've cried around someone and they like attacked you or called you We could call you a bitch or whatever it is And now that's how you respond to yourself when you're emotional because that's how I used to be. Anytime I would get upset and cry I would hide it. Anytime I would get upset and cry I was shamed, I was bullied, I was like made fun of, I was like pushed away by others. So I stopped crying. I completely cut off from the part of me that was emotional and that got sad and that's why I didn't feel it. But I had to go back and like revisit and remeat the part of me that

does get sad. And as soon as I changed the way that I started reacting to myself, everyone else started reacting to me differently. Like I said, the way you treat yourself inside is gonna reflect on the external. So people that fucking hate the fact that they're gay or won't even acknowledge it, they just feel disgusted by it, are gonna feel the same way when it pops up in front of them. And people that care take themselves and care about the way that they feel and are gentle with themselves when they're sad or upset are gonna line up with people who are gonna treat them the same fucking way. Because as soon as I started getting in touch with my emotions,

and I started feeling sad and I stopped judging myself for feeling sad, I lined up with people who cared about the way that I felt, and understood that I got sad and didn't care and didn't shame me. Like they were concerned, they wanted to comfort me, they wanted to be there for me. As soon as you switch how you treat yourself internally, that will reflect, it will match. You will become a match to people who will treat you the same way. That's a real weird fucking dynamic, but I've seen it happen too many times. I've experienced it too many times for me to just say, Oh, it's an idea. Oh, it might not be true. I think

it's fucking true, whether you want to take that for yourself or not, go explore it. Don't ever just take something anyone says, like, and assume that it's true. Fuckin' question it for yourself. Test it out for yourself. Change the way that you operate and the way that you look at yourself or a certain aspect of you. Switch the way that you do it

and then see who you line up with and see how they treat you when they see that part. But this really just comes down to letting people see who you are and see what you feel and see what you feel and see what you experience in your internal world because you will no longer feel alone in it. You're the only one in it, so no shit you feel alone. Like it makes so much sense, but I know when you're going through it, it's very confusing,

but I hope this brought some clarity. But I want to give you a little bit of reassurance because this scared the absolute fuck out of me and I felt like I had nowhere to go and no one to talk to when I started doing all of this because people don't fucking get this. And that's a big reason why I started the Facebook community for all of you guys. The link will be in the description if you want to join it. It's a private Facebook group for all of us. It's free.

It's just a place where you can go to talk to people who get it. You can go ask for advice. You can go post funny memes. It's just a place where all of us can go and create a little community, or we can be there for each other, give each other advice, relate, vent, comfort, whatever you fucking need, you have a group of people who think the same way you do and are on the same journey as you, because I know how fucking lonely it is, so that's why I wanted to create that. But my whole point with bringing that up is when you feel like you're alone and you're

trying to like sort all this out, it gets very weird and you feel like uncomfortable and you don't have anyone you can talk to. But I just want to give you the reassurance while you're learning to navigate yourself and switch your relationship to all the different parts of you inside yourself. Don't be scared to show these parts to people. You're going to be. But I want to reassure you that you're okay too. And people want to be there for you. Like after I started opening up about the truth of myself

and what I was experiencing and what I was feeling to my friends a long time ago, my friends summer literally looked at me and was like, Leo, I've wanted to be there for you so long. Like I've literally just watched you and I've just been friends with this shell. And I've wanted to be able to be there for you so long. Like, I've literally just watched you and I've just been friends with this shell and I've wanted to be able to be there for you but you wouldn't let anyone in, you wouldn't like say anything was wrong.

She's like, I could tell, but I didn't know what was going on and I wanted to be there for you and I had a lot of friends say that and a lot of people in my life but people want to be there for you. It makes people feel of use and people like to feel of use. So if you give someone a chance to be of use to you by being there for you, by accepting

you, by comforting you, they're going to like that. And it's going to make them feel more attached to you and you'll feel more attached to them. People want to feel of use. So give them that. Allow them to be useful to you. Allow them So give them that. Allow them to be useful to you. Allow them to care about you. Allow them to accept you. You have to give them the chance of that because I'm someone who is extremely accepting because I know how hard it is to be rejected and how fucking terrible that feels. So when someone is struggling with something that they're fucking

petrified to like admit to anyone I love when they come to me and admit it to me because I get the chance to be such a pivotal fucking moment in their life of Them saying something that they're scared they're gonna be rejected for and I get to accept them and be there for them Because I know how good it feels to have someone accept you. So I get to be that. You know what I mean? Like allow people to be of use to you. I love it. I love to be there for people. I love to be that pivotal moment and that piece of support that they need. And you being scared to let someone be that for you is robbing both of us. You're robbing yourself of the connection and you're robbing me of feeling useful to

you and allowing me to be there for you. So I know there's a lot of guilt and shame around sharing shit inside of you, like especially feelings, but I want to reassure you there's nothing wrong with it and people want to be there for you. I fucking promise. Go in the Facebook community. Literally, go do it and watch how much support you're fucking flooded with. Whether you're question, your sexuality or whatever it

is. It's a private group. So anything you post in there, it's only seen by people I've accepted and allowed to be in the group. So it's all people who are supportive and people who will be there for you. Like it's all people just like you who fucking get it and are all struggling with their own shit. Literally go post whatever you're dealing with in that fucking group, especially if it's about your sexuality and watch how many people flock to support you and be there for you Because they genuinely care not because they get anything for it. They don't get shit for it Like people just genuinely care about you, and I'm excited for you to experience that

All right, so before we jump into what would Leo do I just want to say if you like this episode so far and you feel like it's helpful leave this video a thumbs up and share it with Someone that you know share it with anyone that you think will help them because I want to help get this out because this is what truly Fucking saved me. These are the realizations and the shit that like got me out of where I felt so stuck in So I want this to touch as many people as possible So send this to anyone you think it will help share it wherever you want if you put it on your Instagram story Like share that you're listening. I'll reshare it to mine. I love when you guys fucking do that But something big people ask me about a lot is eating disorders go to a therapist or go to a nutritionist

Who has struggled with eating disorders go to them because they'll teach you how to fucking get through it They'll teach you how to deal with it. I've recovered from fucking binge eating. I can teach someone how to do it It's just a matter of finding someone who Has done what you want to do like I went from cripplingly fucking insecure to like, but let's jump into what would Leo do. So the first situation, someone is asking, they wrote, y'all, people write like long paragraphs, but I like when they're short and like to the point, but sometimes I need more details. But this person basically vented about like how they can't find like a good therapist or a good coach. So they said, how do't find a good therapist or a good coach, I'm just going

to summarize it like that. So if you're looking for a fucking therapist, go to a therapist who has experience with what you've been through. So if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts, do not go to a mother fucking therapist that does not know about that, has not experienced it, and doesn't know how to navigate it, because all they're gonna spit at you is what they've learned from a fucking book. You need the people who have walked through the fucking murky ass water that you're stuck in. You need to find the people that have made it out of the whole you're stuck in.

They know how to get out. Truly, not by throwing a fucking medication at you. Like they're the ones that can truly get you through it. Same thing with coaches. If you wanna hire a coach, as a lot of people don't like therapists, if you wanna hire a coach, hire a coach who has achieved what you want to achieve

or has repaired something in themselves that you want to repair. Same thing with like a trainer. If you wanna hire a personal trainer, hire a motherfucker that looks the way you want to look. You don't go hire the fat fuck at the personal training gym because they're a personal trainer. Clearly they don't know what the fuck they're doing. They went to school, they got a certification. It doesn't mean they know what the fuck to do

with it. They read some books, okay? So go to people who have what you want to have, who have been through what you're struggling with, or who looked the way you wanna look. That's my fucking like across the board for all this shit. Like don't go to someone who has not made it out of what you've been through. Sure, other people can help, and it's gonna be a little difficult

to find like certain things confident and so assured in myself you can't tell me shit. Like no one can like penetrate like the fucking like shield of confidence I have now. It's like I'm, you can't tell me shit. Like no one can like, penetrate like the fucking like, shield of confidence I have now. It's like, you're not fucking with me. So just remember me saying that, anyone can get a title, anyone can get a license,

anyone can get a fucking degree. It does not mean they're good, it does not mean they're credible. It means they've read books, studied shit, and taken tests, and passed. All that means is they're qualified on paper, it does not mean that they're capable of helping you. Qualified does not mean capable, okay?

Just remember me saying that when you're trying to find anyone that can help you, go to motherfuckers who know how to get what you want. Trust me. Cause I went to a couple of therapists that were not struggling with what I was struggling with and I kept getting faced with, well how does that make you feel?

Are you opposed to getting on medication? No bitch, I don't wanna fucking get on medication. I want you to help with through my goddamn problems and they couldn't offer anything and that's one thing that I strive so hard to offer. Like my one-on-one clients is like, tools, like literal ways to manage your fucking emotions and manage everything you're dealing with.

I'm not just gonna say, oh just talk about it. Oh just journal it out. No, I'm gonna teach you how to deal with the thoughts when they come up. Reminders to tell yourself ways to go about and navigate situations and ways to stay on track and get yourself back to normal. Like, I fucking hate people that just are like,

oh, just talk to me. Like, a therapist should not just be a fucking ear. Okay, Binting does nothing. Sorry, you could vent on a piece of paper for free. The fuck? But the people that have been through what you're going through and not just gonna sit there and listen, so when you speak what you're going through,

they're gonna relate to that pain because they've been there and they're gonna want to give you as much as they can. That's how I fucking am. When someone comes to me and they're sitting in a situation that I've struggled through and made it out of, I know what they need to get out of it. And I'm gonna give it to them.

I'm gonna over fucking deliver because I wanna save them from it. Because I know how painful that shit was. So finding someone who's been through what you've been through is the one that can truly help. I'm just gonna leave it there. Okay, so the next situation, I'm gonna try not to laugh. I can't even read it and I'm just gonna leave it there. Okay, so the next situation, I'm gonna try not to laugh. I can't even read it, and I'm laughing.

Okay, someone said, my ex got me Legos for the last four years when we were together. I don't know if I should keep them or throw them away. Legos, like the toys? I don't know your age, I don't know your situation. There are some adults that are into Legos. If that's your thing, do it.

Mitch, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just laughing at your situation. I'm kinda. But like, are you attached to the Legos just because he gave them to you or do you love Legos? Like if you have an actual collection of Legos and shit that you love and enjoy, I'd say if they're a key piece to completing a collection or you value what they are aside from who gave them to you, keep them. If you're only keeping something from an X because it came from the X, get the fuck rid of it. Trust me I've been there, I burnt so much shit and sold so much shit from previous relationships

just because I don't fucking want to be reminded of you. Like there's certain things that I love just them for what they are. There's no attachment to who gave it to me and I can dissociate that. But to hold on to things like oh just because your ex gave them to you, get the fuck rid of them. Trust me, there's this weird energetic thing that happens when someone gives you a gift and you keep it because it's like from them. You're like emotionally attached still and I can't tell you how good it feels to light that shit on fire because I had a fucking fire pit with a bunch of shit from my X's. It's so nice to

just watch it burn. But my astrology chart is like my element is fire like I manifest through fire I cleanse through fire like fires my thing like other people might like other shit But I've had my chart red and shit and I've always been obsessed with fire But it makes sense so get rid of it if you're only keeping it just because of who it's from Trust me you're gonna feel so like cut off from it and like moved on and detached. You're gonna feel like a weight is lifted off of you. Just trust me on it. It makes no fucking sense. It makes a lot of sense, but it makes no sense. But just trust me. Don't keep shit just because of who gave it to you. If you don't like it, get rid of it. Okay, so the

next situation I'm gonna have to read. Someone said, what would you do if you knew someone was disrespectful to you throughout the entire relationship? Embarrassed you by talking to all their friends about you, but now they've recognized it and decided to improve themselves, now that you've distanced yourself. Will they revert back to those behaviors once they get me back emotionally or is there a chance they truly mean their words? They seem sincere but I've been asking them for so long. So, someone being disrespectful about you and to you in a relationship is a fucking no-go. Either leave them or smack the fuck out of them.

But, embarrassing you to their friends, no, on the beach, that ain't gonna fly. Cause for you to go around their friends now is gonna feel uncomfortable. If they went running their fucking mouth about you and ruined your character and ruined your image to all these fucking people and they think that you can still coexist with them, that's weird, that's uncomfortable. Cause what are they gonna do? Go to all their friends and be like,

hey, I lied. My ex was not actually like this, somewhere back together. Like, they're gonna have to face looking like a liar. Or you're gonna have to face owning the shit that you did if it was fucked up. And they're just gonna be looking at you like, what the hell? That's why I say shut your fucking mouth when you're dating somebody. Your fucking relationship problems stay between

you two. Do not run your fucking mouth so I get your frustration with that shit because once you try and embarrass me or attack my character, you're fucked bitch. Now we're done because there's no recovering from that. You're just gonna go like share shit and Try and make me look bad intentionally fuck you. That's childish and he's someone that needs to defend his image and his reputation With the people around him and he cares about that more than he cares about how he makes you look or how he makes you feel So that's a dangerous one to fuck her to deal with because he wants to get to people first with his fucking story to paint an image and save his self concept before they find out the truth and find out he was the dick or you both were at fault like he people like to look like the little innocent one. So if you feel like that's the case watch the fuck out with that.

But you said he realized he fucked up once you decided to distance yourself. Convenient. So if you're thinking about giving this another shot, I think you need to test it. Like slowly ease into seeing what's going on. It's like don't jump back into a relationship. Don't fucking commit right back off the bat. Fuck that. He don't deserve that shit.

When you fuck up, it's like you have to earn it back. So agree to give it another shot, but be hesitant, be distant, and make him fuckin' prove himself. The first time he's disrespectful, you walk. I don't give a fuck. That's a real hard thing, is like, when someone's fucked up and you're having to be reproven

that they won't behave a certain way, as soon as they fuck up, if you take them back and like be okay with it, it just establishes the pattern of like that's acceptable behavior and they'll keep fucking doing it. You can give him another chance but he has one. He fucks up, he's out, he's done. That's while you're going through like the reproving themselves period. Because if you think you're just gonna run a relationship off of like, you get one chance forever, it's never gonna fucking work.

That's too much tension and it's gonna be like walking on eggshells. But when he's trying to prove himself again and make you like get close to him again and trust him again, you're gonna have to give him one fucking shot and be very serious about it. Like stay distant so that when you, when he does fuck up, you cut him and you walk

and it's not that fucking hard. But if you just jump back in and emotionally it's gonna make things a lot more difficult. But while he's trying to prove himself he gets one shot. After you feel like you trust him more, you're good. Don't tell him he only has one shot. That's for you to know because you don't want him like pretending to be on like his best behavior. Don't tell him he has one shot. Just allow him to show if he's truly changed or not and watch his actions. You have to get into another situation when he gets pissed off. Does he fucking disrespect to you? What happens? Do not just jump back in. You fucking like, put your toe in the water and you put like a little nap at the

cell. Maybe like, like an ankle or something. You don't fucking just jump back in. You test it and you let him prove that he does see it and he is changed or he hasn't. And if he hasn't, you cut that shit and you never fucking feel bad about it, okay? Now, that's all I got for this podcast episode. Like I said, if you liked it, leave it a thumbs up and the link to join the Facebook community will be in the description. If you want to follow me on Instagram, my Instagram is Dileo Skeppy.

I'll also have in the description my link to all my templates of all my accountability worksheets of how I keep myself disciplined and do so much and then I'll also have the link to my app which is positive focus where it sends you positive notifications throughout the day like just nice things to know like little perspective shifts that I'll get you thinking in a better direction. Also the submissions for being on what would Leo do if you want to put in your submission, hit the link in the description under www.ld you get it what would Leo do if you want to put in your submission, hit the link in the description under www.ld, you get it, what would Leo do, and send it in there, it's completely anonymous. And I do want to say, I don't mean to tease, but I'm coming out with merch soon. It's long awaited and I'm so

excited about it, but like, I'm about to be so meticulous with it, it's gonna take a little time. I'm gonna make sure that shit is perfect before I release it to you guys, because I'm gonna be wearing the shit too. Like if I'm gonna wear something, it's gonna be a quality time. I'm gonna make sure that shit is perfect before I release it to you guys because I'm gonna be wearing the shit too. Like if I'm gonna wear something it's gonna be of quality. So I'm in the process of making that right now but I just want to let you know cuz I'm so excited. But thank you all so much for watching. Don't forget to show this podcast with people that you think it will help. But I will talk to you guys next Sunday.