Aware & Aggravated - 50. Things That Secretly Damaged My Self Esteem

Episode Date: October 19, 2025

A list of things that will secretly make you feel insecure & eat away at your self esteem. This was only part of the list... more episodes coming on this topic.  Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Substack:  https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so...  Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

I'm ready. You ready? I'm excited. I'm going to a festival tonight. And I'm so excited and pumped up and I'm trying to do something with the energy. Like record this and talk to y'all, do my podcast early. Hi, I forgot to say that. But that's one thing I'm going to start, I guess, just straight off the rip with this episode.

I'm so excited tonight. And instead of just like freaking the fuck out and doing a bunch of random crap, I'm going to channel the energy and use it to be productive. and do something I want to do, you know? Like, you know, when you get freaked out, when you're excited for something. And you just, like, the excitement makes you just, like, unsettled, restless in the house and, like, waiting for the event to happen. I already got my outfit planned out, laid out.

I already ordered a bottle of alcohol for my friends. I'm taking it. I don't like to show up empty-handed. But I'm so excited and I'm trying to not let it be for nothing. Because, like, tomorrow, after I go to this festival, I've been sober for, like, 18 or 19 days right now from everything. Most I'm going to do tonight is drink a little alcohol. So I made sure I got the good shit. But I want the feeling of accomplishment a little bit because it's Friday night right now when I'm recording this. I usually record on Saturday. But I don't want to wake up tomorrow,

be hung out. Oh yeah. Like I want to go out tonight and celebrate. Like, yeah, I got my shit done early. I'm excited having fun. Dance a little. No what I mean? So I guess that's one thing. I want to go through a list. I didn't even tell you what the hell this episode was. I told you last week that I made a list of a bunch of things that will make you insecure and things that will eat away your self-esteem for no reason. So I'm going to go through that list in this episode, but that whole intro just like, my soul just wanted to just talk. That's one thing I haven't done in a while is make a list or make like notes or points of anything. So I just have like a couple of points, but we're going to go with it. And wherever my soul wants to go is where it's going to go.

First thing I want to start with. Okay, things that are going to make you insecure for no reason. Number one, try and spend time convincing yourself to like shit because other people like it and want it. Example, me with watches. Everybody's always on about your time is displayed, how like valuable your time is, is displayed by the watch that you have. And when you meet certain people having a nice watch or a certain watch, like communicates that your time is not to be fucked with. Like this broie-ass shit. I can't take it. I look like a geek when I put on watches.

And I tried to make myself like it. And the watch that I want, if I ever get a watch, it's going to be an AP or Potech. I don't like the other ones. But my point with the watch thing, I personally don't like them for me. I get excited when I see them on other people. I love when other people have watches and wear watches. My vibe's not that. I like the bracelets that match on both sides.

I like the gold jewelry. But I tried to make myself like the watch shit. And then I went to the story. I tried some on, I don't like it. I look like a nerd. I look like a geek. All these people, these like men are like 5, 10, 6-2, typically, between that range. It looks good on them.

It looks like small and dorky on me. I'm 6'7, so like it's not my thing. But for so long, I've been trying to get myself to like watches. And I finally was just like, fuck it. If I don't like it, I don't like it. Because I was like, I'm going to have to go spend 80 grand. Am I really going to go spend 80 grand, 100 grand, whatever the watch is that I would pick? do I want to spin that?

Fuck no. Am I going to make myself spend that to impress other people? No. Am I going to do it to try and fit in a certain vibe? No. One thing about living in Miami, 99% of people that you see what a nice watch is fake. And most billionaires, really, really rich people that I know, they travel with fake shit. That's like the smartest thing to do because my friends got robbed in Ibiza a couple months ago. And a lot of rich people travel with fake shit, but also a lot of people buy fake watches.

most watches you see are fake. And a lot of people have the mindset of like, okay, I already have this lifestyle. I already am wealthy. I'm flying on private jets. I have yachts. I have all this shit. If someone see the fake watch on me or they just see a watch on me,

they're not going to assume it's fake. So why would I waste the money to go buy one to impress somebody? You know, nobody really gives a damn about a watch. But my whole point is trying to make yourself like shit that you don't like. Don't spend time doing it. But when you flip it and you're like, okay, you're allowed not to like it. Give yourself permission not to like shit.

This sounds so stupid, but it's huge because it translates into a lot of things. So when I finally was just like, fuck it, I'm not buying a watch. It looks dorky. Okay? I don't care that other people would look at it and be like, oh my God, your time is valuable. Let me talk to you. Don't fucking talk to me if you're going to judge me off a watch. Yours is probably fake anyway.

But when I gave myself permission not to like shit, I'm like, okay, then I started to realize not a lot of people can pull off my vibe. Really none. Like no men could pull off the look. that I do with jewelry and the things that I wear and like the gaudy shit, they wear one watch and that's their jewelry. That's not enough for me.

I'm like a bird. I like a lot of shiny shit. So I just like the feeling of jewelry and a lot of people ask me why I wear bracelets. So the truth, it was like years and years and years ago. I felt very insecure and I was trying to learn how to present and look more confident with my body. Because when you're insecure with your movements,

Like you fidget and you're just like weird in public. Having weight on my wrists, I used to wear fake jewelry, like fake gold, plated gold before I could afford the real shit. Now we're good. Now we're solid. Literally. But I wore bracelets to train my mind to pay attention to my hands. Having the weight of the bracelets on me was like a comforting thing.

But it was like a training thing for me to pay attention to my fucking hands and pay attention to my body and what I'm doing with it. And then I got so comfortable with it. I feel like a naked little mole rat when I don't have jewelry on. Like my bracelets, I don't take them off. If I go to gym, if I shower, if I sleep, I keep them on at all times. The chain will come off. Yeah, it'll choke me if I'm trying to sleep in it.

But like the bracelets, that's what I was doing with it. And now it's like my dean. Like, I always wear bracelets and I always want more bigger and like stacks of shit. Like, I can't take it too far. You know what I mean? We've got to have taste, a little class. But that's the whole story with like the bracelet thing for me. But it just became so like me and such a comfortable.

For me, I don't give a fuck if people think it looks weird. I don't care. Like, I like what I like. I've always liked my bracelets. But the whole thing with the watch shit, I was trying to make myself want to watch. I don't want that. But just letting myself like what I like. I'm not out 100 grand.

Oh, my God. I wouldn't have spent it. I genuinely wouldn't have. Because I don't want none of the cheap little watches. If I'm going to do a watch, I'm going to do it. Right. Like, it can't be 6, 7 with a cheap watch. You know what I mean?

Maybe like 150. That's really what I was looking at And I was trying so hard to convince myself That that was an okay thing to buy No, not for me I can't wrap my head around it And I don't give a fuck enough to buy that But like I said

Once I took my brain and my focus off Of trying to force myself to like a watch I started to realize things about myself Like people can't pull off my look People can't pull off this vibe I have a very specific thing About the way that my style is And my jewelry and myself like that

And it made me like wait I kind of like it now. Like other people have to wear a watch. You don't got the balls, one, to wear a bunch of jewelry. And two, you look weird with jewelry. Everybody else looks normal with watches. I look weird. But they look weird with jewelry.

But I look good with you. You know what I mean? So it was like a nice confidence boosting, confidence building thing. But that goes into so many other fucking things with trying to make yourself like things that you don't like. If you don't like it, don't like it. It's okay. Your desires are not your fault.

desires come and flow through you. They're not something that you have to fight and fuck yourself up over and change. You can't change a desire. What you like and what you feel, that's not for you to like make yourself insecure because, oh, I wish I liked with other people might. I wish I could fit in. More you try and fit in, the less you're going to feel like you fit in. So don't bother.

Let what you like just go through you. It's an energy thing. Okay. I don't want to get too spiritual with it. But I guess next thing on my list, we could talk about. Something I've been going through recently is resenting and being just irritated with the life that I have to live. I'm not ungrateful, not like that. But with me, I'm here for like a spiritual journey.

I'm a lot more aware and spiritually tapped in and tuned in than a lot of people. And it's frustrating a lot of times because other people get to do shit and just be so carefree about it. And that's one thing that I had to deal with and get my head wrapped around. when I was like really young. I was dealing with shit in my childhood that people didn't have to deal with. And I hated it. I felt like I had to grow up way too fast. But when I was 21 and I was going through like a really, really bad breakup and all that

shit, if you've been here, you know what I'm talking about, that shitty ass X that I had was destroying my life. I was so resentful because I was like, all my friends who are 21 that I'm out partying with and doing things, they're just celebrating being alive. And they get to be young and have fun. I'm coping my way through. knowing I have to go to court next week again for some more stupid shit. And yes, I've flipped it and transmuted it and built things from it. A lot of people are like, oh, like the bad things that

happened to you are like, they made you go where you are. No, you are responsible for what happens to you after bad shit happens. So if your life is destroyed, you think it just gets fixed because bad shit happens. No, your life after you get fucked up is what you built. And I'm proud of you you. If you've had to transmute some shit, okay? I just want to say that. People trying to take my credit away for what I've done with myself in my life. Oh, it's because these bad things happy to you. No. I fixed it.

I made things better. But back on track, I resent sometimes a little that my life has to be what it has to be because I can't abandon myself and feel good. I can't abandon myself and see success. All of my success will stop as soon as I start abandoning myself. I can't just be like the workhorse where it's like discipline, grind, like that shit and have success. It's all soul led for me because if I do the same fucking thing that a hundred people do,

a thousand people do, all the typical tactics people have for being successful and all this and that online. I grew up reading the books, doing the shit. I was trying to hustle and grind. And it's like everything that I did, it doesn't matter if 10,000 people did it and it all worked for them. If I did the same shit and better, it wouldn't work for me. For whatever reason, it's like the system, I'm meant to build my own path and carve it out. I'm meant to walk like a path alone. And that's a bitch.

Because it's not as like carefree and it's not as like seemingly enjoyable. It's way more enjoyable. But on the flip of that, I'm able to do what other people can't do. So my success, when I'm not abandoning myself, when I'm hand in hand with my intuition and like doing what feels right, following my loss. solve this motherfucker. When I'm doing that, other people can't touch that. I achieve things and do things that other people can't fathom or like, we'll never get to. It doesn't matter how hard you work. If you don't have that spiritual connection with yourself, you're not going to get there. But a big thing with this is with substances and people getting to party and have fun and go do

things. I don't get to go party and do drugs and have a good time with that. it impacting everything in my life. Like it fucks my mood up. I don't hear my soul for a few days. And it's like the recalibration of that, it sucks. Like it's a hand, like what's it called? It's twofold. Right?

That's the word. Yeah, twofold. Folds two fucking ways. For me, it's like I have to stay in tune with myself to do what I do, to have my happiness, to have my spark, to have my connection with myself and also have my success because of that. other people can do things by the book and they have like a path carved out for them. There's a lot of safety and security and stability built in that.

When they go party and do shit, they can wake up and just like a robot, plug in and do what they need to do for their work shit. And it works and it moves along. I don't have that. As much as I've tried it, I don't have that. It don't work. And a lot of people are going to think, you haven't you hard enough. You don't get it.

You're new here, obviously. But with my freedom that I have with my life and what I get to do, I don't get to disconnect from it without consequences where other people can. And it's also annoying because I see a lot of people make a lot of money and do a lot of shit because they're willing to sacrifice their voice and they're like when you sign contracts, you work with brands, you do things. They get control over you basically. And that's why I've stopped.

I've always been picky with brand deals and stuff, but I haven't done any. And over a year now. But I can't sign away my voice. No amount of money is worth that. Like, I can't, like, agree to not talk about certain things. I can't agree to let you have control over me. Or if there's, like, a moral dilemma where you can control and tell me to take a post down. That happened to me when I got canceled.

And I wasn't able to address it how I wanted to in the past. And it pissed me off. Like, brands and companies and people can get control over you. I can't be controlled. And that's also something that robs me of a lot of opportunities is because brands like people, they can control. Like, I'm always very respectful and polite, but like if you're doing shady fuck shit,

it's not gonna fly with me, you know? And I have no problem calling it out. I do not talk about a lot more. It takes a lot to push me to get to a point where I will name drop and say things. But people know I don't tolerate other people being treated bad

or myself being treated bad. So that's a bitch. I see a lot of people making a lot of money. and I also see what they have to give up and they're allowed to. Like their soul will let them. My soul will uppercut me. It will drop kick me right off this balcony if I try and do that. Like my life will crumble.

My mental state, my emotional state will just be wrecked. The whole point, the reason that this is on this list is a lot of times I have to check myself. Like when I'm starting to feel jealous or I wish I could experience things that other people can, I have to remind myself to flip. it. And I have to remind myself of like what they have to give up and what they're sacrificing and what it really is behind the scenes. A lot of people don't understand. And I can't imagine what it's like for people who aren't in this world and in this industry. You're just watching as viewers of these people.

You see them get all this shit and do all these things. And you have no, it looks like perfect on the camera. You think that there's no issues. You think everything's cut and dry, easy. It's not. I know the back end. Then I have to remind myself of that a lot because I've been through it and I've seen it. and I know what the truth is, but it made me insecure for a long time when I was like just, why can't I do that? Like, I resented my soul a little bit. And I was like, let's stop doing that. Let's like turn and pivot toward like, okay, I'm more free than all of them.

Like anybody that I get jealous of or feel jealous of for like an instant, I don't attack myself over it. I don't get mad anymore at my soul. It's like, yeah, I have a little frustrating moments, but I flip it immediately. I don't let myself start like attacking myself and being upset. Why does my life have to be like this? No, we're going to see what we can do. And look at what life has given me and granted me. That's what helps a lot.

But, like, also, if you're someone who feels the same fucking way, it's like you can't do things that other people do without the consequence or without the mental and emotional and spiritual decline, I get it. I feel the same, like, sometimes. But you're not alone, is my point. But don't look at, like, why it sucks for you. Like, oh, my God, why is it so bad for me? you're fine. You get much more if you just look at it. Okay. And if you feel like you don't have

shit yet, you haven't done anything with it. I can look around my life and see the physical proof and experience it. But for a long time, I didn't have any. I didn't flip it. I didn't lean into and walk into what made me special. Like you just feel defective and like you're the exception with everything. That's how I felt for so long. And then I finally was like, fuck it. I'm just going to lean into it then because trying to do it like everybody else and everything else don't work. So once I realize, okay, I am the exception in a negative way. It also, everything is in contrast. If you're an exception, you feel like you're the exception in every bad negative way. You're just not seeing the positive yet. And you learn through contrast in this

life. So flip it. If you're the exception, what can you do because of it? That's a big thing to look at and a big thing that will help you stop being insecure. So if you need the proof, that's how you get it. Lean into it. Okay, you're the different one. You're a special one. It's an irritate and so you start seeing the magic of it. It's like, wait, cool. I wouldn't trade this for nothing. Okay, next thing on my list is the emotional pendulum swing. Okay, I got irritated with myself. I was getting irritated with myself a lot. And I felt like I was in this cycle of like on my podcast, I would be doing shit and then I'd be doing good. And then I'd be doing shit mentally. And then I'd be doing good. And it's like such a back and forth. I felt like it was constantly like

happening all the time. Like I couldn't get. my mental state to be a little consistent. Like, we good and then we go it for a while. You know, like it just felt like a constant one week I'm happy. One week I'm fuck. Like, I'm going through something. Times is tough again. And then everything's great.

And then times it's tough. I felt like I was just back and forth, back and forth. Pendulum swinging. Like one opposite end of the other. It just kept going back and forth. And I started to get so irritated with myself. And I was like, God damn. Enough.

Like I started to be like, okay, you're not stable. I started to worry about what people thought of me. I was like, you're not mentally stable. You seem crazy. Why do people want to hear about this shit? Why do people want to, like, that's why it's not posting also. It's because I was like, I'm just irritated with myself. Like, I'm sick because I'm honest.

I'm not going to lie to you. If I'm doing bad, I'm going to tell you, yeah, today's shit. But I was so irritated with having to be honest. But the truth is the truth. If you're doing good, then you're doing good. If you're doing bad, then so be it. There's no, like, stress or issue about it. Like every single person goes through shit every single day.

Everybody feels all the emotions on every scale. And it's like when you're tapped in and you're spiritually connected and you're actually following your desires and you're trying to trust your soul and lead with that, it's a lot more sporadic. But there's a difference between being emotionally reactive or just being emotional. Like having the feelings is not the pendulum shit. It's like when you have the feelings and you act on them and you fuck up your life or you fuck things up. That's when it's like actually damaging and actually like a chaotic problem.

But like feeling the emotions is fine. Okay, you're upset. Fine. Me too. But it's not normal to expect myself to be a fucking robot. Like I said, I don't have a life path that is normal like everybody else. I'm all emotionally led and like spiritually intuitively led. So, duh. I'm getting ping ponged all over the fucking world all over the table right now. Like all the time. but it's fun. But that's one thing. It's like if you feel like you can't get your mental state like normal, it's constant ups and downs and like one day you're good, one day you're bad. It's like just you're fine.

Okay, you feel certain ways. You're thinking certain things. Pay attention to it. It's bringing clarity to you. Just stop freaking out because you feel shit is the thing. Like stop getting upset that you don't feel good. Okay, I don't feel good. And that's fine.

All right. There's got to be something coming out of it. I'm going to learn something. I'm gonna see something different. Whatever. Enough of getting insecure about it. That'll eat yourself esteem too. When you think that the way that you feel is wrong.

And you feel like you have to justify feeling how you feel. Like, okay, all these things are going good in my life, but I still feel bad. And you start hunting for a reason or justification that you're allowed to feel that way. You're allowed to feel however to fuck you feel at any time. Okay. You don't have to act on it. Don't be doing weird crazy shit. Don't be crashing out too much.

Sometimes it's healing. Sometimes you're crash out as the karma people had coming. Sometimes you're crashed out as the universe. taking action through you. Let me just not with that one. Take that with a great assault. I think you get my point with that. No?

Yeah. Okay. Well, next thing on my list. Oh, this one's a bitch. Okay. The way people closest to you treat you. This is something that's going to impact your self-esteem tenfold. The people closest to you, the way that they react to you and treat you will change everything.

If the people close to you, the people close to you, you will change everything. closest to you act like you're not funny. And when you say things and say jokes, they don't have a reaction. If your friends would a mute or if you're close to somebody who doesn't like pick up on bids for connection, if someone doesn't laugh at your jokes, you're going to start thinking you're not funny. If you think you're funny, it doesn't matter because I was going through that. Like no matter how funny I thought I was, no matter how much I made myself piss myself laughing. Certain people in my life didn't act like I was funny. They just act unimpressed with me all the time. and that started to make me question myself.

I thought like I wasn't funny. I felt like, okay, well, it just kind of like was sucking the life out of me slowly. Other thing is if things that you say, people don't act like they're interesting. People don't really give a fuck what you have to say. Get away from those people. Spent some time alone. Find appreciation for the way that you are and how you are alone. I always go through periods of that.

It's full fun. I love a little alone time. Nice, peaceful as fuck. Me and boots. But he's dead. You're not dead. I didn't mean that. I didn't meant it.

I promise you're alive to me. Another thing is when people don't really do like any acts of service for you. Like they don't look after you or take care of you or like clean or like if you're eating together. They don't like make sure you got a napkin or like bring you something like bring you a glass of water, anything like that when you're sick. If you're sick and people don't take care of you in any way or like show concern that you're sick. like, oh, you need me to bring you anything. If they're with you or around you, like your friends, you live with somebody, if they're not acting like they're a little bit concerned or tentative to you,

tentative, tending, they're not tending to you in any way. It's going to make you feel like worthless, like not, like you don't matter, you know? Also with priority. If people don't prioritize you or they blow you off and like don't respect your time and respect anything, that's going to make you insecure as hell. Get away from these people. Spend time away from these people. Trust me.

compliments that just came to mind if people don't ever compliment you they're just kind of like there that'll make you insecure too like when people have a cool outfit on like they do something i always compliment how people look when i like them like when like you get dressed it's like you go from looking busted ass i'll you get all dolled up and like you look hot like i'm excited to see them another thing if people don't act excited to see you that'll make you insecure if people don't act like they enjoy hanging out with you or they want to hang out with you these are just like random things that I'm listing off about like dynamics with people and how they treat you, especially when it's the closest people to you. And if you have someone in your life that you

are willing to hurt yourself for and throw away your own boundaries for, one person is too many because I had one in my life. And I've had to take distance because it destroyed every, like it's like it just bled me dry. It ruined myself as it ruined my confidence. It's like, I don't give a fuck how much I would do. It didn't matter. Like it didn't change anything. Get away from it. I don't care who it is.

I'm very sorry. It's going to suck. And usually it might be the person you're closest to, but you got to bite that bullet. You don't have to cut them off and make it on bad terms, but like spend time away from them for a little bit. Find yourself again. Find appreciation for yourself again.

And spend time with other people. Say a joke around other fucking people. When they start belly laughing, you're like, wait, I'm funny. You know, Because neglect is a form of abuse also. Not I'm saying it's abusive, but like people neglecting you in certain ways will ruin your self-esteem. And I do need to caution when I say this, I don't have children. So when I say having one person in your life you're willing to hurt yourself for and bend your boundaries for is too many.

I think the only exception would be children, but I don't have any to speak from that perspective. I think that you have to like maintain a sense of self, even when you have kids. but like I'm Albanian, I'm old school. Kids come first. Kids are the number one. If you got to do something that harms you to help them, so be it. If there's somebody shooting, I'm taking a bullet for my kid. I'm taking a bullet for a random kid.

I don't know in the fucking street. Like, kids are different for me. So I don't know. I don't know how to word that and like explain that, but that's, I just want to like cover my base on that. I don't want you cutting off your kids and shit. A lot of people listen to me way too like, like serious. Like they like follow every single thing that I say without context.

I'm like, babe, use your context. Glues off. Dink it through a little. Well, cut your fucking kid off. Always be there for your kid. But I think that's it for that page. I have another page. My soul was spitting shit out on different days.

But the other thing with the way that people around you treat you the closest people to you, that one, it's like when they're void of reaction to you, positive or negative, will ruin your self-esteem. It's like the weirdest thing. You feel very unseen. and you feel like worthless. Like you can't even make someone smile. You buy them a bunch of shit.

You can't even make them like happy. It's like you do a bunch of things for them, look after them. Do anything that you can. And it's like they just don't react to you, positive or negative. If it's negative, that's really going to fuck you up. But like even a neutrality is going to fuck with your self-esteem. So you've been feeling weird or like down on yourself. Look at your life.

Look at the people you've been around. How do they treat you? Do they react to you? and how do they react to you? Do they pick up on a bid for connection? And a bid for connection, it's like a bunch of different shit, but like when you're in a room alone with somebody,

you make a joke, you say something, you acknowledge them. If they just ignore you, your bid for connection just got shot. Okay, this one everybody's gonna get fucking mad about. Get mad, I don't get. Something that will make you insecure

is food hangovers. That's a thing. It's absolutely a thing. When you eat junk shit and eat bad food, it will ruin you. your mood and your mental state and you will wake up the next day feeling like shit physically and mentally and emotionally. There's like a chemical thing aspect to it. There's so many things to it. Vibrational shit, you can get as spiritually as you want, but there's chemical reactions that

happen in your body and in your brain. We need bad shit. When you're eating bad food, process things like fatty food, fried food, shit like that, it's going to have an impact. As much as you want to tell yourself it doesn't, it will make you feel insecure. Because it's going to play with your brain and you're going to lose like a sense of control over food when you get addicted to certain chemicals and like eating processed shit. Like I eat pretty clean for the most part. Yeah, I dibble dabble here and there, but I work out hard. And I have a good time with life. Like, I eat everything. If I go to restaurants, I'd be getting dessert. Yeah. But at high end restaurants, it's not fake bullshit. It's like nice, natural good ingredients. So it's different. But like people

people eating fast food for every meal every day. It's like, yeah, it is going to fuck you up. And it's not cheap or eat fast food. Okay? I've been sitting here like a fucking lazy dick for the past couple of weeks. And I've been Uber eating. I've been post-meating. Feeling like shit.

My digestive system's all kind of been weird. For the past 20 days since I've been sober and not drinking and doing shit, I've not been post-mating and like Uber eats and so much. I've been cooking and like meal prepping again. A huge difference. Drastic. So that's one thing that will make you insecure without you realizing it. It'll eat away at your self-esteem too.

Like when you put good in your body, you feel good. I'm not saying you got to like get an eating disorder and shit. Like just check what you eat. If like 20% of what you eat is bad, okay, but 80% is good. Okay, that's fine. A balance. Some days 50-50, but don't make a habit. Okay, next thing on the list is walking around with the subconscious assumption

and belief that people are looking at you only for what they can get from you. I forgot this. I forgot for some reason and somehow spending people around me who didn't react to me and didn't treat me fucking decent. I'm like 20 days away from all the people who were like fucking with me mentally. And now I'm like back. It's a covert thing. Like I said, it's like the non-reactivity to you as a person.

And the non-acknowledgement of your bids for connection will destroy yourself esteem. And it's a covert thing. Everybody knows how to spot disrespect. And this is something that crept up into my life where I didn't really pay attention to it and understand it. But now I get it. And I want to make sure everybody else gets it. Because everybody, you guys know, I don't tolerate no bullshit. I don't tolerate disrespect.

But this is a covert way of like something destroying your self-esteem without you realizing it with like the non-reactivity thing. But basically I forgot after a certain amount of time had gone on like over the past few months. it was like people made me feel like they didn't value connection with me. So I forgot that connection could be a thing. And I started running around life assuming that everybody wanted something. They wanted clout. They wanted money or they wanted association. They wanted something from me.

Only reason that they interacted with me is because they wanted some shit. And anytime someone would give me something or a brand would send me something, I'm like, oh, it's just an obligation. Like you try to fucking get some fucking free promo. I was getting irritated with it. And it made me want to isolate myself. and I did isolate myself from everyone and everything as much as I could because I was like drained by it and I had this subconscious thought that people only wanted me or wanted to talk to me

or were interested in me for any reason only because of what they could get from me. It was to use me. It was to get something from me. So that will destroy your self-esteem having that belief. But you are funny. You are lovable. You are nice to spend time with. people do find what you have to say interesting yeah i'm talking to you fuck not myself talking to you yeah i needed to hear this too but i'm telling you this is not true having that thought that people only want what they can like get from you people are also interested in you and interact with you

and approach you for more than that some people are just interested by the way you look or the way that you are and the way your energy is or the way that you talk to them the way you interact Some people genuinely would appreciate having connection with you. And that's one thing to keep in mind. Like get that fucking belief out of your head that like people just want to take shit. Because I'm the prime candidate. Huh. What I have, what I do, as soon as you have that lens on, that's like you put on a pair of sunglasses and you only see things through a certain lens.

My fucking lenses was popping. I saw it all over the place. Brands. My DMs. People constantly asking for money. Ask him for fucking face. asking for shoutouts. People wanting to post with me because they get more attention and clout and all this shit. Like I wanted to just erase myself from the internet. Like fuck you. Now you can't get nothing.

Ha! Nice fight for laughs. But also people seeing me in public. It's like everybody just wanted a photo. They wanted shit. They wanted me to say hi to somebody on their fucking video. It's like I was just getting irritated with it. Because I was running around with those glasses on of like people just want from me. Like nobody wants to give to me. Nobody wants to like get to know me as a person. Nobody cares about me. it's like when I was getting invited to things, I was like, no, you just want me there so you could post about it. You just want me there so people come up to the section and shit. Like I isolated myself fully because I was like everything is just taking from me. And that's one thing I talked about a lot in my

past episode, if you want to listen to that. But it really wrecked my self-esteem to be subconsciously thinking that people didn't care to spend time with me. I forgot that was a valuable thing because I had people in my life that acted like I was fucking nothing and I was nobody and I was worthless. And the people who do appreciate me and do love me, I pushed myself away from. And I stopped talking to as much. And I just wanted to be alone because I felt drained and I had that lens on. You forget that people want connection from you. You forget people love you as a person or like you as a person. And I pushed myself away from everybody and everything. I was just like in my own world that wasn't fun to be in. Okay. Last thing I'm going to acknowledge

for this episode. I have a lot more things on my list. I'll probably do another episode. one's about having things to prove and that'll be a whole separate episode and imposter syndrome kind of sit like that but the one I want to talk for this episode is arguing with people on social media stop doing it so many accounts that you see commenting on pages DMing people DMing things are bots a lot a lot a lot of accounts that you think are real people are bots the AI shit has gotten out of hand AI has gotten insane And one thing I need to talk about is people have been sending me Snapchat messages, like screen recordings of their Snapchat of people pretending to be me with an AI voice. Like the AI sounds just like me and is talking to these people and it's trying to convince them for nudes, money, all kind of shit.

I've never asked for that from anyone that follows me. And if you wonder if it's me, you're hearing it out of my mouth. This is real Leo. Not an AI fucking bullshit. it. You will never get a message off of another account that is not verified. My name on everything is Leo Skeppi. The verified account, if I don't message you, it ain't me. I don't care how fucking goddamn convincing they are. It is not me. Okay. But the whole thing with seeing so many comments, like I really was like the world is cooked. Like these people are so fucking stupid. Genuinely,

Leo, your tank top isn't black. What the fuck color is it then? But just like that, when people are saying things that are so obviously false. You getting emotionally caught up in that will fuck up your self-esteem in a big way. It's like social media is being run by something bigger than all of us that wants us distracted and emotionally uncontrolled. We're all addicted to our phones. And one thing I'm doing is spending a lot less time on social media. Shit's boring.

I get on in post and leave. But getting caught up in comments and fighting what people. people in dealing with stupid shit, don't. A lot of these pages are bots and don't even lend your energy to it. If someone's just spewing shit, a lot of people are getting off on getting attention. I don't know what it is. Like people rage bait a lot. Don't fall into it. If someone is basically saying my tank top isn't black, you can have that and fuck off. Like don't interact with it. As soon as you notice you see a comment or see something and you have like that ping of an emotional reaction, do not engage.

Like notice that you have that ping and be like, okay, this is what Leo was talking about. One, the people are just so stupid. There's no reasoning with them. Or two, they're a bot. That's a big thing. A lot of AI videos, like I said, are getting out of hand. People making videos, it's like you think it's a person. They've gotten so good at this shit.

You think it's a person and it's not. Like they just start spewing political shit. That's a really big one where all the bots are involved. A lot, a lot of bots, a lot of AI shit. Don't get involved. Like, don't engage with it. Just let it be. If I don't concern you or involve you, what the fuck you're doing?

Stop wasting your time. You're not going to change nobody's mind. I'm the one over here saying Boots is real. He is real. He's alive to me. He's going to get offended. I can't say that. Boots is dead.

He's a taxidermy's zebra, okay? But he can't hear that. He's looking at me right now. He's pissed. But with that whole thing, like thinking that the world is cooked, I thought it was so bad. Go out in real life. People are not as stupid in real life.

People drive stupid as shit in real life. life. That's one thing people do not know how to do is hit the goddamn pedal on the right. I don't know what it is about Miami. I need to just let it out for a second. It's always a Tesla. It's always a Tesla in my motherfucking way. It is always a Tesla holding up traffic doing some stupid shit. I'm not saying everywhere, but Miami, absolutely. I don't know what it is about the people here with the Teslas. They don't know how to drive. Like they're always in the fucking way. Always inconvenient. I swear to God, every time I'm getting irritated or like it's a traffic jam or something going on like, I bet it's a Tesla.

It's always a Tesla. Sick of it. But that's it for this episode, I think. I think I'm late. I was sitting here, rambling with you too long. I don't give a damn. We had fun. I'm on my own time.

Be offending to go party. Go to a festival. I'm going to three points. My friend, Kenzie, keeps calling it three-piece. I'm like, girl, we're not at Chick-fil-A. Three-piece. It's cute. But I'm going to three points.

I'm going to three points. I'm going to see what happens after that. I don't know. But yeah, that's all, got for this week's episode. If you want any merch, it will be linked in the description. All my social media will also be there. Yeah, let's say. Let me a little comment. Oh, I forgot the emoji thing. Comment like a little firework emoji because we're going to a festival. We're going to a

rape. Well, I'm going. You're not going. I'm going to have already went by the time you're watching this on Sandy. So put the little firework emoji because I already went. That's free if you made it this far. I always do the comment thing. Y'all know. You ain't new here. If you made it this far, you ain't fucking new. But love you so bad. Thanks for watching. Give me a little thumbs up and shit. Rate me five stars, all the things.

But yeah, I'm going to go get ready. So love you. Everybody, be safe. Take care of yourself. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.