Aware & Aggravated - 57. My New Year's Resolution That Already Worked

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

This is one of my favorite podcast episodes! I talked about the Golden Rule from the Bible and how I thought it was BS until it flipped my perspective on revenge, the purification happening around my sexuality, and a few tips & tricks for 2026 that stemmed from my resolution to get active in the physical reality.  Merch:  https://leoskepicollection.com Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi School lunch debt donations:  https://allforlunch.org/leoskepi/ SCAM WEBSITE (BEWARE): https://taxidermymountforsale.com Substack:  https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so...  My App Positive Focus: (Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 (Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1 Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends, happy new year. I'm in a real good move, very chipper of me. Even though everything was going a little south last time you saw me, things looking up. I feel good, happy again. I had a New Year's resolution this year, and it's been working. And I only started with one. Now I got like three. Is one of my resolutions to quit smoking?

No, fuck you. I have to have something to help ease not wanting to beat the hell out of everybody. You know, it'll come with time, I feel. But me and my little cigarettes, still like this. So my little resolution that I started with was to get active in the physical reality, like as fast as possible. So anytime I have an idea or a thought for something that I need to do, I'm just doing it. I'm not pussyfooting around. I'm not waiting on things, waiting to feel like it, waiting this.

No, as soon as I get an idea for something that I know that I need to do, like for my own betterment or just like a random task, I'm doing it. I'm not dragging nothing out. And I got irritated with myself and this is how it kind of came up. I have stairs in my house. And I always forget a lot of stuff downstairs and have to come upstairs. And I usually will just like stack things on my stairs at the bottom. So next time I go upstairs, I'll remember to grab them. Sometimes I walk right by it, forget.

But I got irritated with it. And I was like, you know what? This year I want things to change fast. Like anything I can control, I want it done immediately. I want to see things shifting quick. so I'm making things a little harder on myself. I don't give a damn that I forgot something upstairs. I don't want to go back up and down, up and down.

No, I'm going to go up and down, up and down until I do what I need to do and get it done. Like if there's things downstairs I need to take up, I'm taking it immediately. As soon as I think of it, I'm doing it. And I've been doing that for a past couple days. I think it's the fourth today. Yeah, it's the fourth. Happy Sunday. But I've been loving it because it's turned into so many actions of just like do it fast.

with going to the gym, as soon as I think I need to go to the gym, I go. As soon as I think about making a podcast, I just made myself come sit down and do it. And I'm not in my head at all. I'm not stressing about nothing. I'm just doing things. But my other tactic with this is I'm giving God a very tight window this year to piss me off. You got one chance to give me an intuitive little spike. And I'm going to go do whatever I'm going to do.

If you don't want me to do it, don't give me to thought. God always wants to put me in a little bit. pressure cooker. Flip the tables. We're going to reverse the roll. Now you got one small little chance to line something up. This is the whole point of this, is I want to give the universe and give God a chance to line me up with what I want faster. So like when I get a random idea to go to the gym or go run an errand or go do something, I'm doing it immediately because I'm not getting in the way of manifestations anymore. I'm not getting in the way of alignment. If something needs to line up, If I need to be used for someone else's experience or someone else's manifestation,

then I'm going to allow myself to go be in that role. And the same thing for me. Like when I want something and need something, if I need to be moved around and scooted around, here I go. I'm running around. I already got 2,000 miles on my truck. I bought it with five. I've been running around, scooting and booting.

But that was my resolution to get lined up real quick with what I want. I don't want anything, any stone to be left unturned. You could say this year. As soon as I need to do it, I'm doing it. If it's inconvenient, so be it. Most of the times, like, when I'm thinking about doing something, I'll think about a certain idea of some, okay, it's not convenient right now. I'll do it later.

It's a better time later. No, I got the idea for a reason and I'm doing it. And I've noticed, like, as I'm running around, just acting off the inspiration as as soon as I get it, I'm getting more ideas for more things. And I'm not stressed out. And I'm not, like, what is it called, paranoid or, like, cynical? as much. I'm just kind of running around doing things. And the biggest thing that would always hold me back from taking action immediately when I think of something I need to do is I don't want to get tired. I don't

want to get drained. It's like, I don't want to be stacking myself with things constantly, you know. So I would always push things off. And the opposite is actually happening when it's an actual just like intuitive thought or like just, oh, I need to do that or I remember a task I need to do and I go do it. It builds the energy. Like it snowballs. I thought it would deplete. me. No, sitting there thinking about it. Depletes you. Getting up with just doing it, it gets you moving. It gets the energy of where you're at moving, your energy moving. And when you're doing things, moving things around, it's energy shift all across the board. And it's not draining me at all. Like, I know when to push and like get up and do things. I know when to rest. But

I'm having fun with this. It's real nice. Like, it's building my energy and I'm getting a lot more done. Like, it's been four days in a new year. I've done so much crap I needed to do. My old to-do list is done. Now I'm planning on new ideas for new merch and new things and everything going forward. It's nice. And I've felt supported along the way. That's one thing. Like the other day, I'll update you about the scammer.

We're going to get into that because I got a bone to pick with the Bible. Okay? I got a random urge of like, I woke up irritated. I'm like, I want my money back. So I call Zelle. Zell basically tells me to go fuck myself. They didn't care. But my Zelle's attached to my bank.

So I went to my bank. I was like, you know what, I'm going to go show up at the bank and tell them I got scammed. I've never had a dispute before as long as I've been with my certain bank that I'm with. So I was like, you know what? I'm a really good customer. I leave a lot of money sitting with them. Every time I go in there, they always try to push me for more investment accounts and all this and that. Leave me alone.

But you always asking me for favors, wanting me to do things with my money. How about you protect my money? So I got real on my high horse. And I was like, you know what? I'm ready to fight. I printed out a sheet, a piece of paper with all of the scammers information and every single email website person associated, the Venmo, the Zelle, every piece of information I could find about this person and the people running this whole scam website, I put it all into a piece of paper

and I show up at the bank. I was ready to fight. I whip up in the bank. I'm playing loud music, smoking a cigarette, windows down, sunroof open, wind blowing through my hair, smoking my little cigarette and I'd flip up in the parking lot about pop over the curb and I get there and I'm ready to fight. I wanted them to know Tasmanian devil's walking up in the door. You better get him out. That's one thing my aunt taught me a long time ago is when you need something done quick, fuck with shit on people's desk.

Like when we went to the DMV a long time ago, side story in the middle of my story at the bank. My aunt a long time ago and I was real young took me to go get a new driver's license for my grandmother. So we all went and she was like Lee. She just called me Lee. when we go into the DMV if they start taking too long

you're a little kid start playing with the shit on the people's desk start fucking with it knock something over so they want to get us out of there faster so we're in the DMV I'm ledo and I learned a very valuable lesson in that day make it inconvenient for them to have you standing there and they will want to get you

out faster you know how they have the pin with the chain I started flipping it and like playing with it and then I actually did let it go by accident like I was actually just having fun and fucked with it And then immediately the lady was like, oh, I was like, sorry, my bad. The lady immediately flips everything with a license. We were out of there in five minutes.

Going to the DMV 20 years ago, you was not in and out in no five minutes. But I learned a valuable lesson that day. It puts a little sense of urgency under them. When you just start being a little bit of a new sense, not too bad. Not like Karen style. But if you got a kid, use them for that. Hey, little chimmy, Jimmy. Whenever we go into the store, we're going to the bank.

we go in here, we go into the DMV. Start fucking with shit on their desk so they want to get us out quicker. I don't see anything wrong with that. Not like excessive throwing a tantrum, but you get what I mean. Like keep it classy, like in one little corner, but like, do what you got to do? Put a little urgency under people's ass, you know? Happy New Year. But back to my story with the bank, I was prepared to go in there and have to fight about it.

You know, I walk up in there and the people know me at that bank because I go there all the time. And they're like, hey, Leo. And I was like, hey, Leo. And I was like, hey, happy New Year. I got scammed. I need you to help me figure this out, figure out what to do. I would like my money back. And the girl takes my paper.

She goes, okay, I'll submit a claim and we'll have the money back to you. I was like, we don't got to fight. We don't, we don't got to argue about nothing. You're just going to take the information, put in a report, and then reimburse me for the money. She was like, yeah. I was like, oh, okay. Well, cool. I was prepared to go in there.

and have to argue and do a whole debacle and like threaten to leave the bank. Because one time I left Regions Bank because their logo was green and they gave me a debit card and it was green. And after I had been there for a couple of years, I was like, I don't want this green card no more. Like it's ugly. I want a black card. Let me customize it. And they were like, no matter how you customize it, it's going to have a big green logo.

So I said, okay, if there's no way to do it, give me all my money. I'm leaving the bank. And they were like, huh? And I was like, write me a cashier's check right now for my money or give it to me cash, I'm leaving this bank. Close my accounts. They thought I was kidding. And so I got all my money and went to the bank across the street.

And I moved to that bank because they would give me a black debt guard. I love to like leave a bank. I know that I'm a good customer and I'm a good client to have for anything. And if I'm not being treated that way, I'll get the fuck out. So I was prepared for this bank that I'm at now. I was prepared to have to leave. And I was like, ooh, they're going to be pissed. They're going to be pissed.

What am I having a bank for if you're not going to look out for my money? But they did look out for it. And they got everything handled. So God really told me to sit down and shut up. I got this one. About time, you pull some weight. Pick up some of your slack. I'm actually laughing now that I'm thinking about it.

With the example, how it was when I was a kid, I was playing with people's shit, like on their desk to get them to get us out quicker. There was one time I had an apartment in Houston and I gave it to my sister. And I moved into a new apartment. But it was still, the lease was still under my name. The AC went out. So my sister had to go. with somebody for like a month. And I kept fighting with the people in the front of the place.

And I'm like, you can't just have an AC go out in Texas where it's 100 degrees. Okay. So I was like, what are we going to do here? What are we going to do? Because this is not, this is not suitable. And it was for my sister. So I was pissed. And they were like, fucking with me.

So I sat in the lobby and I lit a cigarette. And they're like, oh, sir, you need to leave. I said, no, you need to fix my fucking AC. And then a new person coming by to. touring the apartment complex, came in the leasing office and they were looking to me. Everybody starts coming around me. And I told security, I said, put your fucking hands on me and throw me out. Throw me out.

I want to cause a scene. I want new people who are thinking about signing a lease here to know what goes on. And there was people in the office. And I was like, hey, yeah, don't sign a lease here. My AC just went out and they're told me, sorry, too fucking bad for three weeks and they can't fix it. I was causing a thing. Dirted. And I told them, if you don't get this fixed, immediately.

or get a switch to a different unit at no cost to us, I'm going to go get my mattress, and I'm going to come put it in this lobby, and I'm going to come lay in my fucking bed in this lobby where there's nice air condition. I pay this high-ass rent. At least that you could do is give me some air conditioning. You don't want to get it, so I'm going to move myself to where I can have it.

They have me in a new unit within an hour. Well, they have my sister in a new unit within an hour. So I know how to play this game. I know how to buck back. I know how to stand up for injustice, and I will smoke my cigarette in your fucking long. because put your hands on me. Do something. I wouldn't fight the security, but I would make sure to cause a thing. Sure would. Okay, so now I'm done with all my little story times and shenanigans.

Don't even know what that was about. But the whole thing where I said, I had one resolution that turned into a few. This is the next part of it that kind of unlocked. And it's how fast can I detach from a situation and move to the next one? Because I'm following my spark and like just going with ideas as soon as I get them. And there's no time to get emotionally, like, caught up in things not going right or, like, letting yourself down or not completing a task fully. It's like when things go wrong, I just immediately detached from it and go to the next thing. I'm not sitting here worrying about it freaking out. Like an example, and when this hit me was when I went to the gym, I had an urge to go to the gym. I was really excited, ready to go to the gym. I go to gym. I think it was

like January 2nd. I've been going every day this year so far. but I'm excited I get to the gym I start working out and I was like I'm just not feeling it like I know when to push it and I know when it's just like just give it up you know what I mean I did a couple of exercises and then there was just so many people with the cameras

and I go to a gym in Dallas where it's like all these fucking little influencers they always got these cameras set up and I'm like walking in between them I'm overwhelmed over stimulated so many goddamn fucking people the camera's everywhere I don't know where all these

equipment is yet because I went to a new gym and I'm like, this is just irritating the shit out of me. Like, I really just want to leave. So I left. I didn't make no calm about it. I was okay, whatever, I'll try again tomorrow. And I went and got in my car. Typically, I would have been kind of like irritated about it or like, ah, like it's the second day of the year. I'm already like slack and I should have just pushed through it, yada, yada, yada. I know when to listen to myself, but I just got in the car and was like, okay, I'm going to detach from it. And the workout was what it was. I'll work out again tomorrow.

So I just left. And I still stayed in a good mood because I didn't stay attached to that situation even after I left the gym. Like, okay, yeah, it was disappointing. Whatever. It's not a big deal. I left, so be it. If you're going to leave, then do it.

It's like whatever action you're going to take, whatever you're going to do, just get into it. Okay. If you're going to leave, don't cry about leaving. If you're going to cut a workout short, don't sit over here and think about it. And what have the consequences? Shut up. If you're going to leave, okay, leave. And don't think about it again.

Same applies to people, too, if you want to leave somebody's ass. Great year to start with that. Start off the year, booting somebody to the curb. But just do it and don't look back. So that was my second part of the, we're almost at evolution. The resolution that unlocked was how quickly can you detach from a situation. And in the third installment of how this, like, dropped into it. a new insight, this low resolution I had. So I was at the gym and this person was looking at me

just like real fucked up. And I know when someone's looking at me and if you like size me up as a man, but what the fuck you looking at? I know when a look is uncomfortable. I know when someone's looking at you with like a little snooty in their attitude. You know what I mean? So like this person was looking at me and I was just like the fuck and I was thinking to myself like what the fuck are they looking at me for all weird? And then I had like a thing. I had like a thought of like, remove me from it. If you remove the me, they're looking real fucking weird. And it made me see like, when you remove yourself from people's behavior, you just watch their behavior. Like, oh, this person looked at me funny. This person looked funny. This person was rude to me.

This person was rude, period. Take out you. Take yourself out of the equation and just observe their behavior. It's so funny. now that I've started doing this, I'm having a hoot. I don't take nothing personal right now. I'm just kind of like, oh, okay. Another one, a couple people have been asking me for help a lot. And it's like a pressure you feel when people are asking for help. And it's like, I got my own shit going on.

So I look at it like, okay, they asked me for help. No, they asked for help. It makes you see you're not the only one that can give it. They just ask for something. It's not my responsibility. If I want to help, I will. If my soul tells me to do it, I'll do it. But this is nice.

Also with commenting, like comments on social media, people saying, oh, they commented something rude to me. They commented something rude, period. It don't got to be about you. Stop making everything about you. That's what I've learned. That's what my soul told me to do. He said, sit back and shut up.

It's not all about you. You feel like it is. But I love that. That's just been nice. I'm about to get into the section of the Bible where I'm about to have a problem with part of it. And we're going to talk about that. But remember last week I talked about my sexuality and I say something weird's going on with it?

What I've noticed about my sexual desires. I do not like talking about sex. I don't like sexualizing myself, but I just want to talk about like the emotional side of all this. So my sexual desires and the things that I've been attracted to, none of it has been pure. I feel like there's a purification process happening around my sexuality. I don't know what that's going to look like, what form it's going to take. But I'm just seeing there's a lot of power dynamics

getting played out sexually for me. It's like certain desires and certain power dynamics is all that I've been attracted to. I've never had sex just for the pleasure of having sex. It's always been for playing out a certain power dynamic. And I'm starting to notice that. And I'm like, wow, that's crazy. I've done it to escape.

too, like way back in the past, I would engage in like hookups to escape things. There's also an element to it that I'm realizing of closeness with men. There's nothing I could ever do to gain the approval of men in my life. And I've always had a very weird relationship to any man in my life. A lot of my best friends when I was younger, a lot of guy friends that I had would just wake up one day and hate me out of nowhere. So I've never trusted men. I don't feel safe with men. I feel emotionally safe with women.

But I'm realizing my sexual desires and my sexual attraction is linked to unsafety. It's linked to men. And I'm trying to understand and figure out what is that link? Why has that wire been like connected there? And I'm realizing there's a lot more to it than I ever knew. so. I've been writing about this for like I wrote like four hours yesterday just like journaling into my subconscious and like figuring all these things out. But the whole thing I was saying about never being able to get the approval of certain men in my life and never being able to be close to

them. And closeness with men is always very unsafe because like I said, there's no emotional trust. And it's like you wake up one day and they're all of a sudden just like against you. That was my experience. So that's unsafe. Unsafe. I'm not attracted to. I'm not attracted to. to feminine guys. And I see that that's a power dynamic. It's like a power play. Like femininity I feel safe with. There's nothing to act out with women that I need for my own ego.

It's all with men. Like to bitch out a big, strong, tough man. Yeah, that's my thing. It's always been a power dynamic. And I think there's also a subconscious, like, only way of gaining closeness with a man is through sexual needs and desires. but I like to turn them against them. I like to turn their own sexual needs against them.

That's the power dynamic thing that I like. I've never had genuine just like sex for pleasure. That's what I'm realizing. So I'm like, what is this going to be? I'm going to explore this more on my own. I'll keep you updated as it happens. But I might go fuck around and like see what happened.

Not like freely. Because that's one thing also with me being in the position that I'm in. I can't just go hook up with people. One, I don't like that. And two, I got too much to lose. There's too many hidden video cameras, the meta glasses, the fucking hidden audio devices, recording things, catching an STD. I have so much, like, in my head.

I can't feel safe to have sex with someone or hook up with someone unless I know you were emotionally connected and I know that I'm safe with you. So I don't get the freedom of just like going to hook up with people without being absolutely stressed out a wreck. A lot of that's my own personal experience, but most of it is the position that I'm in. So I got some exploring to do. So I'll keep you posted. But yeah, there's a lot of psychological shit going on with my sexuality. So I wonder what it's going to be like. Like, what's going to happen once I purify it and remove all of the power dynamics and like using sex as a weapon, not a weapon, but using it as like something tactful and something that is like,

not just the act, it's something more to it. Like, I never just had, like, sex just to have sex. I don't know what that's like. And I don't know what it's like to, like, genuinely love someone and be with them sexually. I've always had some twisted kind of game I was playing. I did, I did. I'll own it. Okay, let's go to the Bible.

Okay, so the part that pissed me off and then taught me a lesson was the golden rule. And I'm going to read it to you. It's real short. And just enough to pick. miss you off. Well, me at least. So the golden rule says, and everything due to others as you would have them do to you. For this is the law and the prophets. I don't like that. I don't believe in that. That's done nothing but bite me in the bitha. Like it sounds nice. But I was irritated with that. Like I've been taking very diligent notes as I'm reading the Bible, like my own interpretations of

each like little like passage or line that I read. But the whole idea. with this due to others as you would want them to do to you like come on that's child's play like i do that i always try and always do really take the action that i know is right in a situation like i do what i would want someone to do to me until you cross me then i'm albanian everybody says an eye for an eye no i want both of your fucking eyes if i got to be with out one eye you're going to be blind you're lucky i don't kill you like we have a whole different approach to in Albanian culture. Like, you kill one person I love.

I want 10 of yours. That's just how we are. Jukh Maria is the whole blood feud of Albanians. We're all instilled with this. We all know this. We all have a very, very aggressive thirst for revenge when it happens. We will take it there. And we have our limits to it.

But like, yeah, that's just how I am. Like, an eye for an eye, no, I want both. Give me. But a little irritation was stirring when I was reading that. and then the example of the scammer online the guy who scammed me out of a thousand dollars popped into my mind and i'm like okay this is the perfect situation to try and apply this like how would i want someone to treat me do to as you would want done unto yourself how to fuck what i want someone to treat me if i was the one scamming people i would want them to beat the shit out of me if i was ever that asleep

or ever that like in a place where I'm so out of alignment, I'm scamming people, like a big elaborate scam. I would want someone to pummel my face into the fucking ground until I woke up and became aware. It's like you're either going to wake up or you're going to learn, do not behave like this. I would want one of the two. I've never been that asleep. And I have a hard time with forgiveness and compassion. I don't tolerate people doing things that I didn't do when I was in the same position.

I have been in the situation where I've needed money so bad and I didn't scam people, didn't do the shit that other people do. And I'm like, I can't stand the weakness of it. I can't have compassion. Once I've walked down a certain path, I know what it takes. I know what you have to deal with. And I know what it's like to eat chicken out of a fucking can because you can't got no money for a minute. I know what that's like. And when people can't do it, I have no remorse.

I have no forgiveness. I have no like grace to give. Fuck you. I did it. It ain't that hard. Okay. But as I was in my little mindset like that, very justified, I kind of saw like a different understanding of that phrase.

Like, due to other people, what you want done to yourself. Because I understand that your reality responds to your consciousness. Like, whatever perspective you hold is what you see and how other people see you. And then I was like, okay, maybe this whole teaching of the golden rule is to make you turn inward

and see what consciousness you're looking at people with before you act. I don't think it's about the external behavior that Jesus' message is trying to change. I think it's about the internal, how you feel. Because a lot of times when I do the right thing, sometimes I'm pissed off about it. And I just got to like eat it. My ego has to eat it. And I just do the right hint. But I didn't feel good about it, you know.

But this whole inward turn kind of example with the golden rule. I see it as looking at the consciousness, you're holding and checking that. Like what consciousness would you want someone to look at you with? How would you want someone to look at you in their eyes if you were in that position? And I want people to be understanding, see more than meets the eye with me. And I want people to see the pain that I'm in. That's the consciousness I want people to hold when they look at me.

So when I look at this person, I'm like, okay, if I see your pain, if you have to scam somebody, you feel absolutely worthless because you, you're not, you feel absolutely worthless because You don't trust anything that you have to offer, whether it be a skill or yourself. There's nothing you can offer or be or do that you think has any value to anyone. You don't see anything in yourself worthy of someone exchanging money for it. So that's a powerless way to live. You feel very worthless. And if you have bills, you have money issues, you have things that you need to pay for and

you need money and you're desperate. I get how you could be in a bad enough situation where you would scam if you think that's your only way to get money. But I've been in that situation and I didn't choose to do that. I chose to suck it up, deal with what I had to deal with, make it through, hold the faith that like I could make money in another way and then I ended up doing it. But there's a whole process that has to happen with seeing your own worth and trusting that you can make money.

But I just know that scamming people is not the route to do it. So I've never done that. And I don't think I was ever rewarded because I didn't scam people. I don't look at it like that. I don't look at it like you get rewarded for doing good. That's something that's been blown out of the water for me. There's no reward for doing good. You got to just do it because you want to do it.

But the whole thing with looking at the scammer, like, okay, I can see your pain. I see how you feel worthless because I've felt that exact way before. I've had times where I've felt completely worthless and question my, like, a value in anything I could do to contribute to anyone. didn't think I could make money. And I know what that feeling is like. So my approach of I want to beat the shit out of them just so I feel better, I do.

That would make me fully feel complete with the situation. And that changed as of two days ago. Because if you really look at it, like if I see the position that this person is in, I hold the consciousness that I want to have people hold with me. Beating the shit out of them is not going to do anything. violence is not going to change the behavior because what is the behavior that I want them to change? Stop scamming people. What does it take to stop scamming people?

To see that you have value and you have worth that you could offer to people to make them willingly pay for it in exchange for something, not pretend that you got this website full of stuff and then scam people for the money. So that's the behavioral change I want to see. Stop scamming. And the way to get there is you have to show them their worth. Does beating a shit out of somebody show them their worth? Does it make them see their worth? No. They'll just get more creative in different ways to scam.

If I beat the shit out of you, okay, you just make sure I don't see you again. You're still going to be sneaky. You're still going to be a little snake because you do not see that you're worth more than that. And I don't know what to do with that now. Because there's nothing I could say or do when you're in that place to talk to somebody

to help them. Because when I was worthless, That's my own process I had to go through, was rebuilding my self-esteem and seeing that I had any kind of value of my own. People were telling me I was great. People were telling me I was nice. I have had times on social media where I have millions of people commenting nice things. And I still felt worthless. It's your own process you have to go through.

And beating them is not the way to get them to do it. But I got my money back luckily. So great. I got my money back. Cool. I have no more like emotional cord tied to this situation. So walking away from it, I'm like, there's nothing really I can do. I exposed the website on all my socials.

So other people aren't going to get scammed as bad. I flipped your fucking table, didn't I? Ha! I think my lesson's been learned here. But there's, I don't know if it has or it hasn't. But it's not my issue to deal with. Like, yeah, I see this totally different. And now I understand the golden rule.

I do. I just don't like how people read the Bible and blindly follow it. Like, challenge it. Let yourself get pissed off because I got all kind of insight now. At first I read the gold rule, I was like, ah, please blow me. I thought it was a bunch of malarkey. What is another? Whoie?

I don't know why these words from high school are popping up. Okay, I have words. Bullshit is the adjectives that I'm using, but I'm using a more elevated of hooy. The only thing I have to say left is God could deal with it. You could deal with your little rat-ass kids. Okay. You can go make him feel valued. The same way you did it to me, you had to bring me to my fucking knees, and you had to destroy me.

So my only option was to turn into myself, do it to them. Please. That's my problem with God. Everybody's been in my comments talking about revenge and like leave revenge up to God. God will never hurt one of his children just to prove his love for another one. I get that. I understand that. I don't like it.

I want God to kill people for me. Show me you love me. Ah, I do, I do. I'll be honest with you. But he's not going to do that. So revenge has to be sometimes in our own hand. But my harshness of revenge is softening a little. But don't tempt me.

Don't test it. Because my first reaction is always like, I want to cut off a limb. You know what I mean? Like I really just like, the Albanian enemy comes out. But it is hard to like still entertain the thoughts of beating the shit out of this scammer after I see. see like, okay, it's not going to do anything. Like, it's useless.

You know? Uh-uh. Now, way to knock my dick in the dirt. Okay, that's all I got for this week. Yeah, I talked enough, I feel. If you made it this far in the episode, what we want to comment? What emoji we want to do this week?

Do the little running emoji, like the little running man or the running girl if he's a girl. Because we run in towards shit. As soon as God gives us a little spark, a little urge, a little idea, we run in for it. That's good. Put the little running. running emoji, little runner. I'll link everything in the description, all my social media.

Also my merch, if you want to order anything. I've seen y'all been putting in orders. I love it. You still love me. I'm so relieved. After my last episode, I was like at the end telling y'all, merch is still in stock. Now that the whole like mess of everything got fixed, like if you want to order merch, you can. And thank you for ordering. But leave me a comment. Let me know what you thought about this episode. Let me know how your new year is going. Mine's going really good. I'm still sober. That's one more thing. I almost went to Vegas.

But I would have got tore the fuck up, toe up from the flow up. I would have been strung out on everything. I would have. So I was like, no, I'm not going to go. So now I'm 78 days sober still from everything. Except my cigarettes. I'm about to go have one right now. So that's it.

That's all I got for this week. Love you so bad. Everybody be safe. Take care of yourself. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.