Aware & Aggravated - 58. Social Media Is In Late Stage Addiction

Episode Date: January 18, 2026

Short podcast this week, but wanted to check in with you guys :)Merch: https://leoskepicollection.comSocial Media:https://www.instagram.com/leoskepihttps://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepihttps://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepiSchool lunch debt donations: https://allforlunch.org/leoskepi/SCAM WEBSITE (BEWARE):https://taxidermymountforsale.comSubstack: https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so... My App Positive Focus:(Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311(Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1Business Inquiries:[e-mail]

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I feel like I'm here out of guilt a little bit. Hi, friends. I didn't want to record this week. I don't have nothing to say. But I didn't post last week. But I wanted to check in and say hi, at least. I took like two weeks off social media and not scrolling anything. I've been really, really happy and like in a good mood.

I have more trust and like faith in humanity. People ain't as fucking stupid as they seem online. Like being out in real life, I was like, wow, this is kind of nice. Like maybe there's hope. And then I get back on social media. I started scrolling again. I was on a trip with my friends. And I went to Houston.

Then I went to Austin. And then I came back to Houston. And then I came back to Dallas. But I've been driving my little truck all around. But I started getting back on social media like scrolling. Oh, what did I miss? Nothing I missed. Peace and quiet is what I missed.

Social media, I swear to God. Like after this little two week kind of break and then getting back on it, I feel sick. mentally. Like I the phones are an issue. The social media is a real fucking problem for a lot of reasons. I don't know why I want to talk about this. I thought I had nothing you say. Well, here I go. Rambling. Social media is the problem. When I say I feel mentally sick, the way that social media is no longer fun. It's no longer a distraction. It's turned into like this attack mentally. And I've known it and I kind of been aware of it, but after experiencing the two weeks without it and then just one night of like scrolling

on fucking Instagram and TikTok for like an hour. I'm like my, I feel mentally gang banged. Like with all these different videos, all these different people just bitching and complaining and the news and politics. And I'm like, what happened is just being on the phone scrolling watching people fall down, watching animals be cute? Like what happened to social media being a distraction? I don't know. And then it. it's just more people selling courses and selling bullshit and use my code, use my code, TikTok shop, buy this thing. Oh my God.

I think being sober, I'm 91 days sober today as I record this. But I think being sober is really just like helping me slice through every single issue in my life because social media feels like a drug. And it used to be cheap dopamine. And there's like a flip that's happened that I'm noticing because going on the phone, it's like it was dopamine. It was fun. It was a distraction.

It was like it would change your mood a little bit. Now it's just to make you feel worse. Like, I don't know if anyone else is noticing it, but it's not fun no more. The way AI is getting is out of fucking control. I don't like it. I hate it. I think any AI video should have some kind of like watermark all over the fucking thing.

Because photos and videos now are like your reality is like, it's getting a little. weird. It's getting a little too fucking weird for me. And I don't like it. I like not being on the phone going on in public. Like I said, people don't seem as stupid. People, like there, there is faith. There is hope. Because like getting on your phone, you lose all hope. You lose all like faith in humanity. Hope for fucking goddamn anything. And then you get off the phone and you go into real life. And I noticed I was running around with this assumption of like how people were going to be. It's like a grumpy old fart.

I was like, I just, I'm cynical after I get off social media and I go out into real life. And then after being off my phone for like two weeks, my screen time was like two hours. But after going out in life, I'm like, wait, not seeing the phone, not seeing the social media. Like people are actually cool. People have comments. People get it. People care. People are smart.

People are kind is what I'm seeing. And I'm like, oh, this social media. this is the issue it is it is but i want to talk about the flip thing that i noticed like it was cheap dopamine for a long time and now it's flipped like this thing that we're all hooked to our phones and hooked to social media and there's some kind of flip that's happened with the algorithm and the people that make this shit to turn it all into like a mental warfare like it's meant to fuck you up emotionally and show you so many different things of people being triggered and certain events and like warped perception and then AI videos that make no fucking sense,

but you think that they're real just to piss you off in a different direction. Like on TikTok, I don't know how people use TikTok anymore. Like I, with me posting my own content on there, I'm like, I don't have a place on TikTok no more, genuinely, because I don't fit it. Like, when you go on TikTok's little explore page or for you page and you're scrolling, you see random people's lives you've never fucking seen before then it's tictock shop then it's an ad then you finally see a video as someone recorded and usually it's someone bitching about something that don't have no like it doesn't make any sense and the comments have so many bots now like nothing is real

nothing makes sense anymore on ticot it's like you just scroll and it's just more ads more ticot shop more what the fuck has that app become it's like you can't actually watch it for anything anymore. You can't use that app for anything. I don't feel like I belong there. I don't feel like I have a place on that platform anymore because it's no longer for content. It's just for selling shit. That's just kind of how I feel. Like the fun content still exists on Instagram, but still Instagram's hit or miss now. I'm just irritated with social media. I am. I am. And I've noticed it's like played on my mind. Like it's made me not feel good. I feel like sick, but I'm not sick. I just feel like mentally, like, clouded and like, I don't like this shit.

This feels like a drug. And since being sober from everything, I'm like, I know what a drug feels like. This feels like how social media used to be a fun thing where you'd get a like a bump, a dopamine. Oh, Instagram. TikTok. Okay, we scroll. We're having fun. A little bump here and there. Dopamine. And now it's just fucking chaos. But it's like this is the part of the addiction where you're no longer just doing a bump and getting dopamine. Like you feel like shit. This is the of the addiction where like your life starts getting run into the ground and you're miserable when you're doing these bumps but you're still just scrolling on the phone like you're miserable when you're watching social media now you're emotionally like in distress you don't feel good it's like

you don't like nothing that's what social media has become like what is anybody else noticing that because i feel like what the fuck is going on and as someone who posts on social media i'm like TikTok feels like a goner. But Instagram, it's like, okay, but I don't like using this shit. Use too by like here and there, but I have my certain people that I watch and I'm not looking for nobody new.

I'm just over it. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I'm maturing. 27. I'm an old geezer now. Man, I'm sober. So I'm really just having fun in real life. I'm actually about to go pack

and go to Florida and visit my family. It's my mom's birthday, so I'm going to go see her. But I did have an idea for a popular. pop up for my birthday, March 7th. I am doing a pop. I don't want to speak too soon. I found the venue.

I don't know why I'm hesitating with this, but like I'm going to do a pop-up for my birthday, for a bunch of merch that I have, and then I'm dropping sunglasses. I've been working on these sunglasses for almost a year, and they're finally done. And I want to do a pop-up. Like an in-store, everybody come, hang out,

you shop, and I have a DJ. and I'm going to do like a meet and greet section too so you get to meet me hang out with me take a picture I think that's going to be so much fun and it's funny that I got this idea for it because I'm so sick of everything online I'm like I want to see you in person I'm so sick and it's fucking shit everything on the screen I need to be able to see you talk to you hello hi give you a hug talk some shit smoke a cigarette like I want to meet you all in person I'm over it I am a little like concerned not concerned yeah Like a little hesitant with it.

I'll be honest. Because one thing I've noticed about social media is it like resets my like confidence in myself and like my trust with people showing up for me and wanting to like come to something like that. Especially after all of the like chaos of the holiday merch and all that shit. It's like yeah, I rectified it as best as I could. but I feel like I've just taken a couple of blows to my reputation with things, but that might just be me in my own head. I don't know. I'm excited for the pop-up, but I hope people come.

I'll be damned. If I'm sitting over there by myself. I'm going to bring boots to the zebra. Yeah. I'm going to bring boots. We can take pictures of him. I guess it's confirmed. It is confirmed.

Like, the Vinny's already picked. Everything's on the way. Like, I'm just talking it. Like, I don't, I'm not ready to talk about it, but I'm talking about it. Okay. It needs to come out. That's one thing I've been noticing about myself is I just, I feel like I can't keep up like mentally.

It's like I'm just having to do shit before it makes sense. So I'm just talking about it. Yes, the pop-up is going to be March 7th and 8th in Houston, Texas. So save the date if you'd like to come. Yeah, I don't know. What else I really want to say? Like I said, I just wanted to do a check-in episode. I kind of feel like guilty a little bit that I haven't made an episode.

But like, I've been going through some stuff. there's a lot of things I'm not going to be able to talk to you about, unfortunately. I'll talk to you about them once I'm through them. I feel like I need to talk for some reason. Like whenever I don't want to, it's like I am going to put out an episode next week. I didn't do it one last week because I was traveling and I didn't feel like it. I was just like, eh, I don't have nothing to say yet. And I still kind of feel like that, but I feel like I need to just talk it out, you know?

I have been having a lot of urges for cocaine. I'm having a lot of urges to do that. and my urges to do cocaine come up when I feel like everything is on me and I have to keep going. And I just got let down big time by the universe and God. And I'm in a situation where I'm about to have to retrust it again, like a fucking idiot. There's like a mental war going on with like slipping back to how I used to be and staying where I'm trying to go toward. This has not been like an issue really at all. Like cocaine has not been an issue since I quit.

Like back in February. It's like, yeah, I did it. Like one night when I was partying. I did. I did. I was a few months ago right before I went sober. But I haven't had any issue. Like I haven't wanted to do it.

I haven't missed it. But right now I do. I'm gonna leave it there before I get to like down the dark spiral. I'll talk to you guys next week. Okay. I'll let you know more details about the pop-up. If you would come, leave a comment and let me know so I can feel a little bit excited.

I'm a little worried. I'm like, oh, fuck. But I'm going to go pack. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette first. I'm going to go pack for my little trip. But that's it. Love you all so bad. Everybody, be safe.

Take care of yourself. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday. Yeah.