Aware & Aggravated - 71. Burn Them Out Of Your Mind

Episode Date: August 9, 2026

Here's how to burn someone out of your mind for good ;) Merch: 🕶️ https://leoskepicollection.comAmazon Storefront: https://a.co/d/04ENNIRFSocial Media: https://www.instagram.com/leoskepihttps://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepihttps://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepiSubstack: https://substack.com/@leoskepi?utm_so... My App Positive Focus:(Apple) https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311(Google) https://play.google.com/store/apps/detailsid=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1Business Inquiries:[e-mail]

Hi, friends. I'm going to tell you something this week and you got to promise not to do anything bad with it. I'm going to teach you about a superpower that you got, okay? Pick you promise. You're not going to fuck nobody up with it, okay? This is to help you, and that's it. The title is exactly what this is, how to burn people out of your mind. Hey, you want to forget them forever?

Okay. Here you go. I detach very quickly. I'm able to move past things very quickly and forget, like, people ever existed. And I've been sitting with that. and I'm trying to understand it because I've needed it recently. But I'm going to give you an example of how this kind of works with a physical object. And then I'll tell you how it goes into people.

So there's a quote from the show Charmed, the original. I used to watch that when I was growing up all the time. My favorite show of all time. So there was a scene where one of the girls in the show was her name was Prue. And she was dealing with this photographer, this like guy that she idolized and loved. And he turned out to me an asshole and realized. in real life. So she did something where they were developing photos and she fucked it up and the guy told her if you leave your object under the light too long, it burns. That's always stuck with me.

And I never understood why till now. Okay. You can leave objects under the light and burn them. You can fucking disintegrate them out of your mind. The way that I see the light now is your attention. So I see attention kind of like a spotlight. You can shine it wherever you want it to go. And if you want it to be on something to burn it, you can do it. Physical example I'm going to tell you about first with how to kind of like guide this spotlight, which you have, which is your attention. You hear about it all the time with the law of attraction community and the manifestation people. Your thoughts create your reality where your attention goes or your energy flows. The fuck up. Okay. I like the version where I can weaponize it. So let's do that.

Okay, so here's what happened. My safe, I have this huge safe. It has an electric element to it and then an actual physical key element to it to get into it. And my keypad stopped working. So it's a good safe because I couldn't even break into it myself. And I know a lot of tricks to trade. There's a lot of metaphors in this, but this is where I'm going to explain the attention thing. So with my safe, I realized I can't get in it. And I'm like, okay, I'm just going to change the batteries out. So I go and get in. get new batteries and I changed them out. And I've been dealing with this safe being broken for like two weeks. So I put new batteries in it. After two days, the brand new batteries would die. So I'm like, let me order a bunch more batteries, brand new fresh ones and like five packs of them. Because I'm over here hoping it's just the battery problem. You know what I mean? So I order these new batteries. And every two days, the batteries will die. Even if they're brand new, they kept dying. And the issue was I could not get in my safe. I could not open. I could not get to the things I wanted inside of it.

Trying to protect them bit me in the ass. In order to solve a problem, your attention cannot be on the fact that you have a problem and there is an issue with something. Your attention has to be on understanding why there is a problem so that you can fix it. Because here comes the day where my little battery trick stops working. You have to take the little cover off to switch the batteries out.

And the batteries, like I couldn't get in it at all. couldn't get in it at all. It didn't matter how many batteries I put in it. It was like the most faded little like, dink, think, think. I was watching it die. Like it was like taking his last little breath when I was hitting the like the combination to get in the keypad. It finally like fizzled out with a brand new battery. So my first thing, my attention immediately went to, all of my stuff inside is now trapped. I can't get it out. I'm not going to be able to access any of my shit in there. I'm going to have to call a technician to come out to the house. Is this under warranty? I need to go figure out setting up the warranty thing. I have to make a claim. I don't know how long

it's going to be until I can get my shit out of it. This whole thing of having my attention on the problems, I realized I was doing that. And I was like, do they about it. So I'm like, all right, shine the spotlight onto the keypad. Put your attention on understanding what is wrong with the safe. Why is it not operating how it's supposed to? So I take the cover off and I'm looking at the wiring. My attention is not on the problem. My attention is on how does this thing work? So I'm looking at the wiring. I'm looking at the keypad. I'm looking at all the little stuff and I start to look at it very closely. All the thoughts of not being able to get into my safe and the panic of not being able to get my jewelry and my passport and very important documents. I had to take my

attention and move the spotlight off of that and onto understanding what the fuck is going on with keep that. So I'm looking at it and I see one of the little wires and it's got a little like break in it. So I think one of the times that I've switched the batteries, I fucked up the wiring when I put the covering back on. And it like snagged one of the wires. So I was like, okay, this is why, potentially it might not be working right. So I go and get electrical tape. I wrap it around the wire.

And what happens? Put a new battery on it. Works fucking perfectly. And it's been working perfectly. Like I kind of fixed it. I need to just get it warranted and get it replaced. But I'm back being able to use my safe. how I was supposed to and not be stressed out about it,

but that entire situation came from me placing my attention on understanding the problem to burn the problem away. I want to point out in this situation, the little metaphor with you in there. So I was dealing with the symptom of the safe not working, like the keypad, like the batteries. Okay, I'm just switching the batteries out. When you're dealing with a problem

and you're just treating the symptoms, you don't ever cure it. You don't ever fix the problem underneath. With changing the batteries out, that eventually didn't work anymore. It stopped working. So it's like a medical problem. If you treat the symptoms, you treat the symptoms.

Unless you treat the root cause like a weed growing out of the ground, unless you snatch that fucker out by the root, it's not coming out. So my metaphor is that my little safe example is sitting here and focusing on why it's not working, it's supposed to and what's going to happen because I'm not getting what I'm wanting and freaking out because of that, that did nothing to get me closer to what I wanted to figuring it out. Freaking out about it did nothing. Having my attention on understanding it, taking the cover off

and looking at it, observing it and trying to understand it, not playing the whole game of God's fucking with me. This is karma. What did I do to deserve this way? We way. We're way. That's trial of shit I used to do. Oh my God. I was so sick of myself. But my attention being on understanding the issue is how you fix it. So now let's go into how this relates to people. You can see from my example with the safe. There is nothing I could have done outside of that safe to make it do what I wanted it was for it to open so I could get what I wanted. I saw the safe as a block to getting what I wanted out of it. And there's nothing I could have done to earn the safe opening. There's nothing I could have done to earn getting what I had inside. There's no reasoning with a safe. There's no nothing.

So when you have somebody that you feel subconsciously is holding you from the thing that you want, there is no amount of performing that you can do to get that. So if you clicked on this video, your attention being on someone is causing you issues because you want to burn them out of your mind. So I want to talk about when your attention being on someone is so annoying. Ah, like it's like you feel like it's wasted. If what you want is their attention on you, that's a symptom. What you think their attention being on you will give you, example with the safe unlocking will give me what I want. What it is that you want, you think requires their attention to be on you.

I don't know if everyone's going to relate to this, but I grew up in a way where my attention was how I was expected to show that I cared about people. So if at any moment the people closest to me needed me and I wasn't there or they needed something and I didn't put my attention on them or they were in distress and I didn't calm them down or I didn't like put my attention on them

no matter what I was doing. If I didn't throw what I was doing away and put my attention on them, that means I didn't love them. So I learned from a young age that your attention being on someone is how you show that you care. And your attention being on someone is how you feel loved and how you show love. So if you relate to that, someone's attention being off of you is not just being ignored. It's being held from love.

And then you putting your attention on them makes you feel like a goddamn idiot. Because it's like, this is how I'm showing I love you. I deserve it. Like look, like look back. Look back. Show me you love me back. Nothing people will do will satisfy that because to have someone's attention on you 24-7 is unrealistic. But that's the only way that you've adapted to life and learned how to show love. You're comfortable doing it. But you only feel okay when it's reciprocated. When it's not, you get pissed on, feel betrayed. I know I get it. But if you kick it back even further to childhood like when we was all like little babies, being able to get the attention of the people. that are taking care of you and feeding you and holding you and making sure that you're not shit in your diaper and not just sitting there in it like the people who are responsible for your well-being you have an innate ability and an innate need to get the attention of external people

that take care of you onto you when you're an infant and can't take care of yourself all you have to do is get attention on you that's your only option to stay alive so that's why babies cry, do the attention from a young age. That's their only way of getting their attention on you from a young age. Now, how this transpires later in life when you're not aware of what's going on, you'll

begin to perform for attention because you think it's your means of survival. If someone doesn't have their attention on you, you forget you're not a baby, an infant, anymore. And that's what drives people nuts. Drives insane. And this is where I can talk about kind of like the manic feeling

that you get when you're trying to get someone's attention on you because when your attention is on them, it feels trapped. You feel unsafe to take your attention off of them at any point because that means you don't love them. And when someone's got you in this state of withholding attention or their attention not being on you, all you're perceiving is how you're not loved. And to have your attention on not being loved, you can't see how you are loved in other ways. So you just feel and internal starvation and deprivation. And that's when this manic feeling comes in

of you trying to do anything you can to get the other person's attention on you. And then certain times it'll work, like you can get people's attention and you'll feel okay. But you never feel satiated. It's like especially with a partner dynamic if you're in a relationship or something

and you feel like you can't do anything to get the person's attention on you. You'll get little hits of it here and there when their attention's on you, but you start to like freak out once you get attention on you because you want to keep it. And any shift in their behavior or the way that they're talking to you, you could pick up on it. A lot of people think that their impacts, you're traumatized, babe.

You're so conditioned to being able to read people so closely where you can notice any kind of deviation in their behavior, their mood, the way they're talking, the way they're walking, the way they look at you. Noticing any difference, sometimes people are impats. Sometimes people are so internally starved, you've learned how to study your subject to get its attention. But if you relate to what I'm saying, when someone doesn't have their attention on you, it's a perceived abandonment. It's a perceived like, you don't love, you don't care about because all my attention's on you. Like even if you're not with them, you're thinking about them and you can't stop.

You can't get them out of your mind. And one thing I want to say about that is silence doesn't mean someone is not thinking about you or considering you or loving you. If someone is not in your presence, they can't have their attention on thinking about you truthfully and also letting you know at the same time. So silence, you've learned that it's painful and you're just reacting to what you're projecting into the silence, what you're making it mean, that they're not thinking about me. If they're not letting me know in any way that they're thinking about me, that means they're not thinking about me and you doomsday and you freak out.

That's not true. It's like being scared of a dark. You ain't scared of a dark. I've said this since the beginning of my podcast. No one is scared of the dark. You're scared of what you project is in the dark. If you think there's monsters and demons, the lion, target, the bees.

Yeah, you're going to be scared of a dark. Scared shitless. But no one's actually scared of a dark. You're scared of what you think is in it. The thing here is you can't make someone think about you. And what you are trying to do when you're trying to make someone put their attention. on you is you're trying to make them love you. See, we have that association. Attention is love.

It's not. So when you're trying to earn someone's love, you're never going to get it because love is something you don't have to earn. There's no such thing as deserving. But your attention being on how you deserve their attention is all you're going to be able to see proof of. Your attention being on how much you deserve love is always going to keep you apart from feeling loved. Your attention can be on one or the other. It can be on how you deserve love. These are all of the reasons that I deserve love. These are all of the things that I've done for this person. These are all the things and traits about myself of why I deserve their love. And you have to see that you're not getting it to still be focused on and have the spotlight of your attention on feeling deserving of love.

Nothing you ever do or become will be enough because if your attention is undeserving it, that's all you're going to see. With deserving it, you have to see that you don't have it. So to move that spotlight and put on how you are loved to be able to experience that, it's going to be a work in progress. The next thing I want to point out is when you're earning love from that starved place, who you are when you feel starved for attention or starved for love is not you. It's not you at all.

So when I say manic, it does make you feel very manic. But the thing that keeps you stuck in that starved state of not having their attention, one, like I said, is the focus on you deserve love and that you have to also see how you're not getting it when you have your attention there. But when you're in that state, you're constantly grading and assessing yourself. And you're grading and assessing the other person where they're worthy of love. and how you are worthy of love and how you deserve it. And when their attention is on you,

you're assuming they're looking at you, how you are looking at you, to grade you for how much you deserve their attention. When their attention is on you, you feel manic again. You feel so unsettled, freaked out, you can't enjoy it, and you cannot accept the love and feel loved because you're projecting the way you react. You're projecting how you are looking.

at the situation to see who deserves what. When someone actually loves you, they're not going to be grading you and assessing you for how much you deserve it. It's like if I'm going to put my attention on something, do you, does it deserve it? Nobody thinks like that. That's like logical. We're both nuts, okay? If you relate to what I'm saying, we both psychotic a little.

But you know what? Everybody loves us for it. But that's a big thing I wanted to point out with why you. feel so unsettled with that. Like when you finally get the attention, it's never enough. Like, if they were looking at you all the time, you wouldn't ever feel okay. And then you get to a point where you're like enough

because you feel the need to perform when you're being assessed. So when you're assuming your reaction out of them, you feel the need to perform because you feel like you're being assessed. But you can only perform so long before you want their attention off of you. It's like enough. It's the constant push and pull, it's the back and forth. Like, I want to be smooth. mothered and then it's like get the fuck away die actually get the fuck away from me like i get it i get it

but it keeps you stuck in that loop because when their attention goes away from you that's when you start the whole game again of how much i deserve it and you're back to deserving love you can never feel loved while you're operating like this a perfect example of this if you want to see yourself is social media if you watch someone on social media when they get attention and get views and then when they stop getting views, the way that they start feeling like there is something they have to do to earn it back. You see them start doing all kind of random crazy shit that gets more and more inflammatory most of the times, more and more rage baity, more and more something. It's like people will go to any length that they can to get attention back on them.

So Batmanic state drives a lot of people nuts. So like get a grip on it. It's not cute. It's not like a good thing to have. That's one thing I've harnessed so hard in myself. You're never going to see me acting out of character because someone's ignoring me. I'll dismantle you. That's for another episode. That's for the next episode. I'm getting ahead of myself. But next week I'm going to

do an episode about dismantling the entire concept of people so that you can detach. But I have an example of my friend earlier, literally tonight, where I've been working on my attention, controlling it, and shining the

spotlight where I want to put it, but also understanding, I am the light. I am that spotlight. So the only thing that makes you forget that is your ego. When you're attached to the ego, instead of being attached to being the spotlight, that's when it gets a little sticky. Okay. So my friend texts me earlier. I told you all my last episode, I've been in a little isolation period, enjoying myself, minding my fucking business, learning something. And my friend texts me about like pulling away. Everybody in my life knows I've kind of been doing my own thing. Like, I'm just, like, taking a minute to myself so I can hear myself. Nothing is intentional to anyone about what I'm doing right now.

So my friend texts me. And this friend is someone that if they express a concern or they say something vulnerable, if you don't reply quickly, they get pissed off. Or they'll be like, it's a family member, all right? Because I wouldn't tolerate a friend with this shit. But in my head, knowing how this family member of mine is, it started to make me anxious because I was in the middle of doing a bunch of shit. And I was very in the moment. I was being, I was like with myself.

And I was getting a bunch of stuff done because I have a trip again this weekend. Everybody got a fucking birthday. I can't take it. I'm so over having so many friends because everybody got a goddamn birthday. Around June, July, it's like I've done like eight birthdays. And everybody wants to go on a fucking trip. trip. Ah, can I just send you a gift? Please. God. But yeah, I was just in Miami for my sister and my cousin's birthday. Now I'm going on another trip for my friend's birthday. It's nice. I'm excited. It's good

for me to have like things that are like things that are going on and doing while I'm in this isolation period because I do recluse, but this is like bringing me out of it. So it's nice. Like I'm enjoying it, but at the same time I'm like, God damn. Like can I sit down a second? So my cousin earlier I replied to him and was like, no, nothing like is personal. Like, I'm just taking my time to myself and kind of like, like, isolating and figuring my life out. And he goes, was I bad for your life? Like he got like upset, like a little like sad, like vulnerable. He's cute like that. And he was like, you know, I'm always here for you. Like, I love you. Like, do you think I was bad for your life? You know, I'm with you through anything. And that text, I saw it while I was in the

middle of doing a bunch of stuff. And I know how he is. Well, I project how he's behaved in the past with if you don't stop what you're doing and show that you care by putting your attention on them and catering to that text, they come up with this narrative in their head and dismiss it. I'm in the middle of doing a bunch of stuff. And I started to notice I couldn't get my attention off of him. It was just like eaten at me. And I'm like, I started to start to. feel a little like anxious because I was worried about that second text coming. And I witnessed myself thinking it. I was like, if only he knew I was thinking about him right now, he wouldn't feel the need

to like get mad and send another text. He never sent another text. I'm just telling you like how I started feeling through it because I was like, me thinking about him means nothing right now. Because if I'm not stopping what I'm doing and catering to you and typing out a text to you, then it's for nothing. You know what I mean? It's like 30 minutes went by. And the more and more anxious I got, the more and more I was like irritated.

Like I couldn't get my fucking attention off the text. And I started to like get irritated with having to text back. And I was just like projecting a certain reaction. And the reaction that I was assuming was coming was typically, this is coming from my childhood. If like I said, someone has their attention on me or they want me. They want something from me or they need me. If I don't drop everything immediately, if I don't do it fast enough, that me not having my attention on them when they want it becomes a means of discrediting me.

See, you don't love me. And they shut down to any understanding of what I was doing and why I had my attention somewhere else. Every explanation or anything of me having my own identity or my own fucking life becomes an excuse to them. So I was trying to avoid that dynamic of the shutdown and me not putting my attention on them as the thing to discredit me and say that, you don't love me, you don't care about me. But I see that's just an attempt for them to get me to have my attention focused on them.

You can't do that no more. I'm the fucking spotlight, okay? I'll shine it where I want. But in that situation, I used feeling anxious to shine it back on. myself to figure that out. But he never sent a follow-up text. And I ended up, when I finally did get done and had time, I texted him back. And he was cool. He was sweet. He was like, okay, love you. Like, no issue. No problem. So one more thing I want to talk about with this is how your attention, when you take that spotlight and it's stuck on somebody, whether you're controlling it or feel out of

control of it because you're acting from feeling starved, you start to gain a false sense of close with people and you think that you care about them more than you actually do when you can't stop thinking about somebody especially when you meet somebody new and you keep thinking about it all the time you're filling in a lot of gaps when you're not spending time with them and you're just fully thinking about them they're not there in the physical spot with you you're feeling in the gaps your attention being on them 24 fucking 7 makes you feel a lot closer to them than you do a lot of people deal with moving too fast in relationships? Yeah, because you're sitting there getting nothing but enthralled with the projections that you're overlaying over somebody. And when you can't get

your attention off them, it's cute in the beginning. You feel a sense of closeness to them. But this flips and you start to feel betrayed when your attention always being on them, you notice dips where their attention is not always on you. And then you feel a lot closer to them than you actually are in your own experience and then you feel betrayed because you don't feel like they love you the same amount that you love them it's just your attention that's been on them you don't actually fucking love them you don't know them if it's somebody who just met you don't fucking know but you think did you over here oh so oh i'm still wind up with you and you don't love me bad you're not in love right you starved the fucked up thing about that is when you hit that moment where you feel betrayed

because you feel like they don't love you as much as you love them because of your attention being on them and the false sense of closeness, that's when the spotlight goes on deserving it and you're stuck in that deprivation state. But then you being stuck in that state and your attention being on them all the time and being trying to earn them, making yourself too available,

thinking about them nonstop, checking everything, you're an emotional wreck, you're neglecting your own life. So your life starts to decline or deteriorate, and you see that as more proof of, look at what I've done to myself because of how much I love you. Look at what I've sacrificed. I've let seeing you and spending time with you get in the way of XYZ that I care about, the gym, work. Anything that you lose in your life or anything that starts to deteriorate, especially your physical appearance, it's like you start to get mad at them and you start to feel more betrayed because you're over here like, isn't it not obvious how much

much I love you, I'm deteriorating. Just give me love back. You seem nuts, bitch. Oh, my God. I just thought myself. But that's when you start to feel okay to losing things because you've invested in this game so long. You're convinced what you want is behind that safe door. They are the safe door. Your attention being on them is just to try and get what you think is in there. If what you want is to feel loved and to feel safe and secure and like at peace, that's why you feel like your peace is gone because you're constantly in that frantic state of trying to get their attention on you.

Realize it's empty. What you want is not behind that door. And you can never feel loved. If love is the thing that you want, you can never feel it. One, you don't have to deserve it. You don't have to do anything for it. But two, like I explained before,

even if they turn their attention onto you, it's never going to satiate you because you're going to feel small. and then want them away from you. And then you're going to be wanting to get their attention back. And it's a back and forth game because your spotlight is not on yourself to understand what the fuck the real problem is. Like with the safe.

Where was the spotlight of my attention? Was it on dancing outside of the fucking safe? Trying to people please and be nice to the safe and like talk to it nice. Was it trying to change who I was? Maybe if I speak in a different fucking accent, maybe if I look better, maybe if I look better, Maybe if I sounded smarter, maybe if I had hair, like you come up with all this shit of how you could earn the safe opening, the person opening, and giving their attention back to you because you think that's what's going to satiate you. No, it's a never-ending cycle. And it's what drive you mad. You'd be in a loony bin. You'd be breaking out their windows, stalking the exes, freak of crazy shit. So the real, like, shitty part of this is when you get to the point where you feel so betrayed because of this game that you're playing, This is all your projections. This is all you.

The only attention to get is your own. But you think that you can finally get your own attention back once theirs is on you. Because when there isn't on you, yours is on them. What you want is your attention back on you. You can give that to yourself now. But if you don't realize that, that's when your self-concept is put up against the wall and you have to dismantle them. You have to dismantle their entire concept of who they are as a person

and see how they never deserved your love and we're never worthy of it so that you feel justified in walking away. But I'll get into that in the next episode because dismantling people, whoa, oh, that's bad. I've always struggled with it. I see it as a learned adaptation.

Like, it's something that you adapt, a personality trait you could take. It's a way that your ego fights to stay alive. And I'll get into that in the next episode, but that's all I got for this one. If you enjoyed this video, leave it a little thumbs up. Leave me comment, let me know what you thought. And I'll put all my shit you need for me in the description.

You can go shop, my merch. Once all of that is gone and it's sold out, it's gone. Like the gold, hello-in-shit hoodie that I have. Only size left is a large. So there's like slim pickings over there. So if you want something, get it why you can. Because it's not coming back. I'm working on all new stuff.

And I'm very excited for that. But I will also put my Amazon storefront in the description. I forgot I have one of those. I forgot I have one. then I got a check in the mail. And I was like, wait, what the fuck? I forgot I had that. Because I didn't update it for like two years. So I went through the other day. I had so much fun. And I was like everything that I use and everything that I've bought and like all my skincare, the books I read, my travel stuff, everything that I used changed over to two years. And I was like,

oh my God. So I had so much fun putting all that together. So you don't have to go buy anything, but I'm nosy. I like to go see what the fuck people use and what they have in theirs. A lot of people on social media, it's like, you're like, oh, I want to go see what you use. It's just a bunch of shit they're trying to make money off of. No, I didn't add anything in there that I don't use. Like, you don't have to buy anything. If you just want to go be nosy, go be nosy. It's fun.

I'll put the link down there too. But also, if you want to shop, give me to credit. If you buy some shit, use my link. If you made it this far into the episode, comment on a heart emoji, just because it's about love and I love you. You don't go to do shit to earn mine, okay? This is fun, huh?

Also, if you're listening to the audio version of this on Apple Podcast and Spotify, leave me a five stars. That would be nice. But that's it. I got to go get ready for my trip. Again, not a trip. But that's it.

That's all I got for this week. Everybody, be safe. Take care of yourself. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday about dismantling.