Aware & Aggravated - 79. Self Help Advice That Didn’t Work For Me

Episode Date: June 4, 2023

In this episode Leo talks about commonly promoted self help advice that didn't work for him. He also shares what he learned to do instead that actually works. He hits on meditation, morning routines, killing your inner critic, procrastination, and so much more. Why You Aren't Achieving Things Podcast (Episode  64):Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrQQ9VXN9uQ&t=41sAudio: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7lHWdrjgUu12kWooLMO4Ge?si=qzGjtSGhS3y3Gzqy7O0Kjg🗳️ Vote on the topic for my next podcast episode: https://forms.gle/zLYrqARubCaLTKzT7✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi 👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/all-products📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/ 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

I'm so antsy and I'm just smiling like a little kid because I'm about to stir so much drama Hi friends this week. I got a bone to pick. I'm gonna talk about all the self-help advice That didn't work for me because I swear to God. It's like every little guru Every little somebody with something to say online about self-help and self-debate me They all talk about saying crap and none of it works So I compiled a little list of some of the most common self-help advice that I don't like and these are all things that I've tried That didn't work so with each thing I'm gonna tell you what it is and why I got a bone to pick with it I'm gonna tell you why it doesn't work

And then I'm gonna tell you what I learned instead and what to do instead of this crap people are telling you. Okay? Cause you know I got the truth. You know I got the real stuff. And the main reason I wanna make this video is because I'm so tired of people sharing advice. That doesn't work.

It just sounds nice. Let's just jump into it. Cause I can go on a tangent about this. And I'm about to for like the next hour This episode is gonna be real long. So the first piece of advice people always give you when they're trying to help you level up your life and improve yourself is to meditate people act like if you don't meditate you Have no chance like your life is awful. It's gonna stay awful, and the only way to save yourself

is to sit down and meditate, girl. People are really dramatic as hell. They make it seem like meditating is like the end all be all cure to all your problems, babe. I don't meditate. I've tried meditating so many times, so many different ways, and I follow sleep every single time. But I just wanna give you the peace of mind. If you can't meditate or if you can't like find a way to

meditate, you're okay. Your life is not going to get worse and your life is not bad because you don't meditate. My life is great. I've achieved a lot of things that a lot of people want and you know what I don't do? Fucking meditate. I really just wanted to pop the stigma around that. Like meditating doesn't have to be this big thing. So I what I don't do? Fuck him meditate. I really just wanted to pop the stigma around that. Like meditating doesn't have to be this big thing. So I said I don't meditate. I don't meditate like the typical like example of it. Everybody just like sits down and like brings their attention to their breath and just sits there. I girl, no, I don't do that. The first thing that will set you free is giving up on meditating, having to look a certain way.

Don't force yourself to like make it a chore and make it like I have to sit down and I have to do it like this. And you're just going to freak yourself out and pitch yourself off. It's going to turn into a task that you just have to do. These people that have achieved this like state of meditating that they pretend is all this and that. I've met a lot of these people in real life. A lot of them don't really meditate.

Oh, I'm in a good and trouble for this episode. But people sell you on this like dream, that meditation is like this end all be all thing. No, the typical like meditating thing I don't do. The ways that I do meditate, the first one is all day long. Like all day long periodically, I will check in with my body. So whenever I remember,

it's kind of like checking on my body. You know how like a lot of times your tense and like your body is like tight, I check in on my body and kind of like notice where the tension is. I hold a lot of tension in my eyebrows. Like I will just be sitting here doing nothing like this Like just looking pissed off like

And I have to catch myself like throughout the day because I don't want wrinkles But also it's like a meditative practice that I've kind of incorporated is like going through my body and Relaxing the tension that I feel so like my eyebrows all like relax them if Relaxing the tension that I feel so like my eyebrows all like relax them if my arms are tight or anything is tight on me I'll just kind of like relax it and I'll like breathe into my body for a second and like release the tension But the biggest thing oh my god, this is gonna sound so weird, but like you know how like you're just like sitting there You're standing somewhere and like your assholes tight I literally just bring my attention to where there is tension in my body. So like the biggest one is like, you're ass, like I don't know why I just like get tense.

Like I'll just be standing there like making some eggs and I'm just like my body is so tense and I'll go through and kind of like notice where the tension is and then just like, and like comment for a second because when you tense, you restrict the flow of energy through you. I don't wanna get too spiritual about it, because these little meditation fru-fruits be doing that too much. But that's my first kind of like meditative practice, is just, we're leaving the tension in my body

when I remember two. And the next form of meditation that I do is when I go to bed, like when I'm laying in bed, it's a tactic to help you fall asleep too, but I will like do a body scan from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. And as I'm like scanning down my body, I just imagine like a bar going down my body. And as it passes each thing, I will just purposely relax it. So like my forehead and my jaw, like you know how like when you're like going to sleep and you're like, you might be tight in your jaw,

like I do this. This is how it's, it looks stupid. But who's watching you when you're like going to sleep and you're like you might be tight in your jaw like I do this This is how it looks stupid But who's watching you when you sleep it weirdo like I'll relax attention. I'll do this like this is usual And I'm like I would stupid but like I just relax the tension in my jaw Then as you go down your body and relieve the tension It's kind of like a check-in and you're noticing what's going on in your body You can notice your breath. A lot of people will go back to their breath. That's something that I do sometimes during the day,

is like when I'm tense, like I said, I just breathe out and release the tension. But also like I'll just come back and like, breathe for a second, like two, three breaths throughout the day. That's like a form of meditation. And then my body's scanned at night before I go to sleep.

He's like checking in on my body and like feeling everything all the way down and just relaxing it and I usually knock out by the time I get to my toes. So those are my couple little meditative practices but I don't go by the classic meditation of like wake up every morning and fucking meditate. Girl I'm busy, I have things to do. I'm not doing that. So that's kind of how I incorporate meditation in my own way. But the whole stigma around it is not what you think it is. Don't stress out about

it. The next thing every single person promotes is gratitude lists. I have so much beef with this personally because I'm an ungrateful flock. Like, I don't like to sit down and have to force myself to write out things I'm grateful for. Like that's exhausting. And thinking of like every night that I go to bed or every day that I wake up having to sit down and think of what I want to be grateful for, like girl, it just becomes a chore and it becomes a task. And I'm sure many of you have started and I'm like, okay, I'm going to start writing

three things I'm grateful for when I wake up or three things before I go to bed. And it lasts for a week max. And then you stop doing it or you forget. If you have a habit like that that's supposed to be for your own good and you start losing track of it or you just can't keep up with it, you probably shouldn't be trying to do it.

So like the way that I look for gratitude in my life is as it happens to me. So as things happen and unfold in my life, I'll just take a second to appreciate them when I have them. And when my awareness is brought to them and I will just have a moment where I just appreciate whatever thing that it is. So if I see someone homeless on the side of the road, I'll take a second and just like let my reality reflect me things to be grateful for. So it's not such a task and it's not a chore of like I have to make a list. Oh my God. Like if you see someone sick, it reflects you that you have health. When you see someone poor, it reflects you that you have money. Even if you don't have like

a lot of money, if you have a place to stay, a place to live, if you see someone on a bike, you have a car. There's so many ways that your reality will reflect you, what to be grateful for, and I just let my reality prompt me. I don't sit down and try and force my focus on trying to make a gratitude list. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like it.

I don't really don't. But that's a more active approach of gratitude. And a lot of people are like, oh, you wanna start your day holding the vibration of gratitude or you want to end your day with that girl. The way that I do it is gratitude all day long. Every single thing that I do, like when I go get a glass of water,

sometimes I'll think about it, sometimes I won't. Like the fact that I can just walk up to my fridge and like hit the little thing and it gives me clean water to drink because there's people that don't have it. I just take a second whenever I like, I'm called to it, so half the time I don't. It's like once every couple days, like whenever you feel it, pay attention to it. Your awareness is being brought to it when you're meant to be grateful for it.

So you don't have to force yourself to be grateful all the time. Just allow your reality to reflect it to you. And let's start looking for things to be grateful for. And this is something that you can call in. So ask your spirit guys, ask God, ask the universe, whatever you believe in, ask them to bring your awareness to things you have to be grateful for. Don't stand on and try and force yourself to do it. If you can, if you want, it works for you great. But this person didn't work for me. I just like to like let it happen as the gratitude comes that Because I be damned girl. I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm not wasting my energy on forcing myself to be grateful that I have health and Forcing myself to be grateful that I'm tall a girl

No, oh my god the next thing. I'm eventually gonna make an entire podcast episode about and it's morning routines gonna make an entire podcast episode about and it's morning routines. Oh my god, morning routines held me back for so long because these people promote all these things about in the morning, you need to do all these things before you like start your day to get yourself mentally right. Like fucking wake up, like journal, have some lemon lemon water go on the walk read a book Don't touch your phone for the first hour of the day girl. I wish I could not check my phone for the first hour of the day My phone is my job. I can't do that and most people have so much responsibility Like they have kids or they have work and they have people trying to get a hold of them to not touch your phone Is a privilege of people who don't have an active job

or active responsibilities non-stop. These little fru- fru-millionaires you see on YouTube, half of them really aren't millionaires. They have one million dollars. I don't consider that a millionaire. And they don't even have a cash in the bank. They got it in assets and shit. And I think they can throw up a title of like,

oh, millionaire, no girl, you're a liar. And they get to just sit back and structure their day however they want want because they have passive income and they can do whatever they want with their time. That's not realistic. So find certain things that work for you. My biggest thing with my morning routine is, it gives you a false sense of productivity.

Like for you to wake up and do all of these things and exhaust so much discipline and energy, preparing to feel better and feel like working or doing whatever it is you need to do. It's a waste of time. My morning routine is a little wake up, take a piss, brush my teeth, have a coffee and get on my computer and face what I need to do for the day

and start working like limit how many things you do in the morning before you start doing what's actually gonna get your results. Like all this crap makes you feel productive and it's not actually productive. Reading a book, journaling, making a gratitude list, going on a walk, none of that is actually gonna get you the results that you want for what you're working on, especially if it's a business related goal.

All that energy is wasted. Literally, cut down everything you need to do and just jump straight to it. Like a morning routine, if you feel exhausted or stressed out by thinking of your morning routine, you have too much shit in it. You've fallen victim, like I did for a long time, listening to all these little spiritual junkies and all these little Millionaire coaches shot up that shit don't work They barely even do it

And my biggest problem with people's morning routines every millionaire morning routine you look up every single one Says I start my day and I make my bed. Making my bed made me successful. No, the fuck it didn't. Let's be real. What these people are saying about making your bed is discipline. Like, they're trying to teach you discipline through making your bed. And you wake up and they're like, oh my god, I make my bed and I'm successful. Like Like it teaches you a habit of waking up and immediately exercising discipline and then you get that little like piece of like, what is it called, satisfaction that you accomplish

to task for the day. Does making your bed actually make these people successful? No. It gives them a little sense of control of like what they're doing and they can like bring about a little happy feeling in the morning When I used to wake up and force myself to make my bed I used to be pissed off doing it. I'd be throwing it around like I'm grouchy when I wake up I don't want to fucking make the bed. So when I would make myself make the bed for what?

Like it did nothing, but just pissed me off a little bit I genuinely do not make my bed and when I do make my bed I wake up and I take the comforter and I just throw it over the top. So it looks put together. Am I fixing the sheets every time? No, I'll fix them before I get in the damn bed. I don't need to wake up and have the satisfaction of making my bed and accomplishing one small task to keep me going.

If you can't get up and accomplish shit without making your lousy little bed, Babe, there you're not gonna make it like you're not gonna make it big. That is such a lack of like discipline and basic like Self-control like if you rely on making your bed You're a fragile and I'm just gonna say that like I don't make my bed and I've achieved a lot I'm the number one podcast in education like I don't make my bed and I've achieved a lot. I'm the number one podcast in education. I don't make my fucking bed. I don't wake up at 5 a.m. like always little

fru-fru losers. I get up at like 7.38 sometimes 8.30 but like I said I'll probably make a podcast episode that's solely about morning routines because I have so much to dive into that I hit. Ah, like you just gripes my ass. All, the next piece of advice that a lot of people give is to schedule your day. And I'm going to take it once that further because a lot of people say schedule every minute of your day. Don't even waste your time. It just is going to stress you out 10 times worse. There's periods where you can schedule every minute for like a four hour like lapse of

it. I do not suggest or recommend scheduling every minute of your day. You will go absolutely nuts because that leaves absolutely no room for anything to go wrong or any inconvenience to happen. And it's gonna stress you out if you don't start hitting your numbers

and you feel behind all of a sudden because this normal life inconvenience happened. Like people tell you to set up routines like you're a robot. That's not realistic and it's damaging as hell and it's going to make you a lot less productive because like I said things don't always go right. They don't always go as planned and you're going to constantly be having to play ketchup with this anxiety and this like oh my god feeling behind. You're not going to be able to perform efficiently on what you're trying to do at the scheduled times. Just not a good idea to schedule everything minute by minute,

but the other thing with scheduling your day is these people promote scheduling your day, but they leave absolutely no room for you to be a human being. And they suggest schedules for your day and your business and your goals and everything you're working on that only work If you're isolated like these people promote the most isolating shit and When you're working toward a goal if you have to literally like

Flip your entire life cut everyone off not see anyone not do anything, but like work That's not sustainable and it's not realistic. Like when I'm on very strict meal plans I can't go out to eat and that inhibits my ability to go out to eat with my friends or see my friends because everything's centered around eating. But I do have ways of like bringing a protein bar or like eating a meal before I go and just drink in water and get in a salad or something like you can make it work but these people literally promote scheduling your life in a way that is void of all other humans. Like the only way to work and be successful according to these people's terms who promote

this self-help crap online is to be isolated. That's not fun, that's not enjoyable. Every single human being has the need of connection and other people. So if you try and rip all of that out of your life and just focus on work and whatever your goals are, it's not sustainable. You're gonna be sad, you're gonna feel drained, you're gonna feel tired, you're gonna start thinking in a way that is so weird. And you're only gonna understand what I'm saying if you've done it or if you've been through this like when you

Disconnect yourself from people for a while you start getting weird like you start developing social anxiety You start getting used to this new way of life without people so when you try and get back around people again It's fucking weird and it's uncomfortable. I don't suggest doing that Have time for your friends. Don't schedule your day out. That is so unrealistic. And especially if you have children or if you have a different kind of job than like the norm, even if you have a normal job, you're not able to schedule a three hour morning routine, plus go to the gym, plus play with your crystals and shit. You don't have time for it. So don't stress too much about making a schedule and do not make a schedule that is void of all people around

you. Like, don't isolate yourself and do everything to the max degree. You are not a robot and these people promoting this shit are not living like this. I promise, either they're just losers and they actually have no one in their life or they're not actually living like this because it's not sustainable. I've tried it many a time. And the loneliness you feel for no reason sucks the fun out of everything that you're doing. So just trust me, don't try and follow these people's strict guidelines for scheduling your life and scheduling everything.

It's unrealistic. Okay. It makes something that works for you. All right, the next piece of advice that I see way too much is to kill your inner critic or to fight your inner critic or destroy your inner critic. That's the opposite of what you need to do. You need to understand your inner critic why they're there. Your inner critic is only there to protect you and to make sure that you stay loved, why would part of you be constantly nitpicking and judging every single move you make?

What's the consequence? What's the fear? To not be liked, to not be loved, to lose people. That's why that voice is there. It's trying to keep you safe and connected to other people. Do not try and kill this part of you. It's not bad. It's working for you. When you don't have a good relationship with your inner critic, it will ruin you. The farther you try and like fight it and disconnect from it, the worse it's going to get. You can try and ignore it all you want. You can try and think thoughts and think positive and think things that discount what it's saying. But what you need to do is turn and face your inner critic and look at it and understand it's there to help you. Stop hating it. Stop

getting mad at it. No part of you hates you. So instead of trying to kill your inner critic, repair your relationship with your inner critic and have a little bit of appreciation for it. And as soon as you face it and reassure it, you understand why it's there, you understand what it's doing, but you no longer need it to protect you like that. You no longer need it to break you down. That is when the voice is going to stop screaming. It's screaming for your attention. So as soon as you give it attention and address it and reassure it and talk to that inner critic, it's gonna get quieter. It's not gonna attack you so bad. You're not gonna be able to continuously attack yourself and nitpick yourself once you realize why you do it.

You're gonna get a whole new awareness and your mind is gonna open up and that voice will get quieter and you will feel more whole and like someone has your back even though it's just your inner credit. Like your inner credit has your back and you'll feel it. As soon as you repair that perspective with it, like stop looking at it like it's trying to hurt you, it's trying to help you.

So that's my biggest thing is don't try and fight your inner credit. God damn. Oh my God. This next one's making me hot. Now we're going to talk about manifestation and how your thoughts create your reality. Oh my god. It's a crock of shit.

I'm just telling you right now. These people literally make it seem like if you sit down and think of something enough, it will happen. And that could not be farther from the truth. Sitting down and just thinking of something happening is not going to make it happen. There's not a lot of energy in that, where there is energy is where you put action into. You take the intention that you have for what you want to bring about. You put it into action. You take inspired action. You take the intention that you have for what you want to bring about you put it into action You take inspired action you take action with intention and that is what you put into

Manifesting what you want you shove all the energy in your action Tore it that's what's gonna bring you a match to it. That's what's gonna help it come into your reality But just sitting down and just thinking thoughts and thinking it's going to do anything won't. I tried it. I literally tried it and ran myself stupid. I went through the whole heartbreak of like turning my back on the universe because what people were saying isn't true. You have to make your own relationship with the universe. And the one that everybody promotes that does not work for me is sitting on your fucking ass doing nothing and thinking thoughts and trying to manifest thoughts. Okay. And one step further with that is like the whole ask and so it is, like say it and so it is bullshit.

Stop asking God for things. Stop asking the universe for things and start asking for things from yourself. If you want something, you have the full creative control in you that the universe and God have. That's when everything flipped for me. Instead of sitting here and living a powerless little life of like, oh, I'm just going to ask the universe for it and just think and meditate and just revisit childhood trauma and do all this crap and wait for it to be brought to me, wait for it to be given to me, stop waiting for things to be given to you, go and take them,

go and make them happen. Oh my God, I'm getting mad because I'm talking to my old self right now, like get off your ass and stop asking God for things. Stop asking the universe. Stop asking from anything outside of yourself. Start asking yourself for things. What are you willing to do for it?

How can you make it happen for yourself? You can be guided by the universe. You can be guided by God. But get that whole asking for things out of your head Demand it and you demand it from yourself. I'll do XYZ Make a list of everything that you want and then make another list of how to achieve each thing individually show yourself you have creative control and See what comes of your actions you put into things literally just start running with shit.

Literally stop asking for things. That's the biggest flip you can make and I have a whole podcast episode around why you actually aren't achieving things and I talked about this more in depth. It's episode 64 of my podcast. It's on YouTube and it's also on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. I'll link it in the description for you. I go into a lot of detail about this whole like idea with that, but that's the biggest thing is stop asking for shit and doing nothing. You can ask for things

as long as you move your ass. I'll make a deal with you. That's it. You can ask for things. That's fine. Ask for it from yourself, and then you'll be rewarded. Okay. The next piece of advice that I see everywhere that didn't work for me and just caused headache was creating new habits. This one literally chaps my ass. I hate this one. Everybody's always talking about creating new habits. You need to implement all these things.

Girl, before you start implementing new habits, to make it way easier for you. What worked for me was looking at my life and not looking for new things to add in, but looking for things I needed to take out or stop doing. Instead of trying to implement all this new shit, look at your life and look at, okay, what would get better if I stopped doing this? If I took this out of my life, what would get better? Before you start trying to add on new things, clean up what you already got. You will

achieve so much and notice so much improvement by just stopping certain things. It's not so much about what you need to start doing. It's about what you need to stop doing. And then the new habits will just fall in line. You'll understand what it is that you need to do. But to sit down and force yourself to write out this whole list of all these new habits you want and always new things you're gonna do. For what girl? That's just gonna make things 10 times worse.

And you're probably gonna be doing things that contradict what you're already doing. Like if you implement this new habit, but you still have all of these old bad habits, you need to stop those first. You don't have to have it replaced and switch, just stop doing certain shit or remove certain things from your life. Then you can add new stuff in, but step one is not just adding new crap on top. It's going to make you

more stressed out. Alright, the next thing people are probably not going to agree with, but the piece of advice that didn't help me was to cut out all partying and going out and drinking. Like everyone promotes, cut all that out, don't you that it's bad. Like they want you to like cut all this out to make your perfect little like robot life. And that actually worked against me when I started doing it because when I removed everything from my life and only focused on work and what I wanted to achieve,

I got so exhausted and so tired because you need to have periods where you're not focusing on what you're trying to accomplish or work on. Like if you're all the time focused on work and you never give your mind a chance to let up and not be thinking about it. You're gonna get sick of it and you're gonna hate it and you're gonna get more and more stressed out. You need to have breaks from that

pressure of everything you're trying to work on. So going out on the weekend, one day a week, every other week go out for a night, go have fun with your friends, drink a little, have a fucking good time. Like that's what I do. Like keep it under wraps. Be realistic. Be reasonable. But having a little fun is not bad. Like go fucking let loose bitch. Go have fun. Go not focus on what you forced yourself to focus on all week. Like don't let it ruin your whole weekend. I don't treat weekends like they're a weekend. I work even through the weekends. But when I go out on a Friday night, I go have fun. I get to relax. I get to finally like, like get all this pressure off of me of social media and my podcasts and all the shit that I'm working on. Like I just get

to not think about it for a night and just have fun and be present with my friends and not have to think about shit work related. You need those times of breaking free from it and a lot of people can't party or enjoy themselves without taking it too far. So I can do a podcast episode about how to like control yourself for people that don't have that with partying and going out and having fun.

If you want that episode, just comment down below and I'll put it in my queue to make it. But that's a big thing for me. And I party every weekend or every other weekend depends how busy I am because you need that period or I need that period. Let me not speak it over you. I need that period where I'm not forcing my focus constantly because that's when you get sick of things and you get tired

So incorporating a little partying here in there keeps it fun. I like it and one more thing with that is always little millionaires online Talk about how partying is awful and it's bad and it's holding you back and it's gonna make you not successful What do all of these people as soon as they reach success do? Party non-stop. How are you still building your business and expanding and doing more? And every weekend you bought a whole new section and you got all these bottles. They're not even following their own advice. Don't listen to it. You're allowed to party here and there and don't feel bad for it. Don't go stupid and be spinning money you don't have and buying sections. I have money and I still don't buy sections, that's stupid. I do not buy sections.

If you see me posting at a section, it was free. That's a perk of social media, it's like I get free sections and shit. But there is a way to have a balance so I can make the video about having the balance of partying and achieving shit. But just let me know in the comments if you want that. The next piece of advice is something that pisses me off, and it's something that I've had to learn from my own experience, and always people talk about you have to envision your life, and think about and imagine and feel what it's like to have the life that you want.

And if you don't visualize it, it's not going to happen. It's bullshit, because there are so many big, huge things that have happened to me and in my life that I never once thought of or I never once sat down and like, dreamt out in my mind. So much of my life, I haven't thought of or saw coming. I don't manifest that way and I genuinely do not believe you have to see it in your mind before it happens I don't know why people promote that and talk about that But for my experience, it's not true at all and I'm sure there's things that have happened in your life that you didn't visualize or think of that have happened good or bad

So don't stress yourself out like oh my god, I have to sit down and I have to visualize it Don't put stress on yourself like that. It's okay Oh my God, I have to sit down and I have to visualize it. Ah! Don't put stress on your self like that. It's okay. You don't have to visualize exactly what life is going to look like and feel like and spend all that time there for manifestation. Girl, let life unfold.

Life's meant to be an adventure. Let that shit happen. You don't have to force it to look how you want it to look. And that actually limits you if you want to talk about love attraction. If you have to have things look and feel a certain way and come through this certain door, you're closing all the other doors that the universe can bring it through. So don't get too specific with how you want your life to look. That's just my two cents. All right, we have two more pieces of advice that didn't work for me, but the next one

is following the way that you feel and tapping into your emotions and following and letting it be your compass and your guide like follow the way that you feel if something feels good do it if it doesn't feel good don't do it you know how lost I got by following that and believing that girl don't even fucking bother there are gonna be so many things that do not feel good that you need to do in order to achieve what you want to achieve. For you to just go around life like, oh, if it feels bad, I'm avoiding it. I have to feel good all the time.

Huh. No, bitch. Certain times you have to do things you don't want to do. There are certain days where I record podcast episodes and it's the last thing that I want to do. I do not want to film the episode, but it feels so good after it's done. I believe I am in my purpose with sharing what I'm sharing and doing what I'm doing online. I'm fully in that shit and I can feel it, but there are still negative feelings that live in it

and I don't feel like it all the time. And I don't always feel motivated and always feel good about doing things that are in my purpose. Like your purpose is not only gonna be what feels good. There are gonna be negative things in it, but it's about what feels right. So even if it feels bad or I don't wanna do it,

does it feel right for my purpose? Or does it feel right for what I'm working toward? You can't just sit here and follow what feels good and does it feel good? If you just avoid everything that feels bad, you're gonna stay spinning in circles until you get sick of it And you just suck it up and start doing shit You don't want to do because you're making absolutely no progress. I've been there But I just want to put that in your head because so many other people are putting this other shit in your head of don't do what feels bad. Girl, sometimes you have to do what feels right. And you just

know that intuitively every time something comes up, you know what to do. Trust that. Trust that you know what to do. Not trust what feels good and feels bad. Trust that you know what to fucking do. Whether it feels good or bad. All right, the last piece of advice is one of the biggest that piss me off. And it's about procrastination. Everybody's always on about stop procrastinating. You just have to force through it and drive through it. You have to be disciplined. Stop procrastinating. it and drive through it, you have to be disciplined. Stop procrastinating. Ah, shame on you, it's bad. Girl, with procrastination, there's a lot more to it. What I learned about procrastinating a lot of things is you can try and force yourself through it. But there's going to be certain periods where it works and there's going to be certain periods. It's like trying to force through a steel wall. There's no way through it. Because the thing you actually need to

address with procrastination is what is on the other side of achieving what it is you're working toward. If you feel like you are procrastinating towards something and it's just not getting better or letting up and you've exhausted your discipline for it and you just keep having to force yourself through it and it doesn't feel good anymore, look at your fear. Look at what you're scared of that you're procrastinating. You're not procrastinating the act of doing it. You're procrastinating something else. There's something deeper a little bit further out that you're not seeing. That's what you're procrastinating is hitting the thing you're scared of

and experiencing that. You're not procrastinating the act of what you need to do. So get clear on what is it you're scared of that is making you procrastinate. What is so bad about if you didn't procrastinate this thing any longer? What would you have to face? What would come up? What fear lies there? So just get very clear on what it is you're truly procrastinating experiencing. It's not the little task at hand, like I said, but that alone got me so far and helped me a lot because as soon as you address the fear and prepare for it and game plan it and face it instead of running from it, you're no longer gonna have to force yourself to do shit. You're no longer gonna be faced with this procrastination, you just can't seem to get a grip on, because there's nothing that you're subconsciously trying

to stay safe from. You've addressed it, you've seen the fear, and you've chosen to walk into whatever the situation is, wholeheartedly, or you've prepared a walk into whatever the situation is wholeheartedly or you've prepared a way to handle it. So it feels like you're prepared. I promise the procrastination will go away and if it doesn't go away fully, it will be so much less and it will take so much less effort for you to force yourself into doing what it is that you keep procrastinating. You're not procrastinating, you're avoiding something you're scared of. So that perspective unlocked a lot for me

and made me so successful in so many avenues and revealed to me so much fear, I didn't even realize that I had, I've overcome so much shit because of that. So don't get mad at yourself when you're procrastinating because you're scared. So address what you're scared of and then try to move forward. Like, you can't just try and force yourself into it without knowing why.

It's hard for a reason. Now, look into it. Sometimes you are going to have to just grit through it and go. And that's where I'm saying if you've been doing that or if it feels like impossible, address the fear. There's something there you're avoiding, and it's not the task. Case closed.

I actually had fun with this episode. There's a lot more advice that I could rant about. So if you want me to do a part two to this, just let me know in the comments. It'll leave me a little note that you want to see a part two. But I really hope this was helpful, and I don't even feel like I need to say I hope that it was helpful, I know it was helpful because you finally have someone

with a logical mind throwing some realistic advice at you and not these people who want you to live like a damn robot. Like we get it. If you did enjoy this episode, make sure to leave it a thumbs up if you're on YouTube and if you're on the audio version of this podcast, five stars. Babe, I just held up 10 fingers, but you know the drill. Hit it twice. Gimme 10, 10 stars. All of my social media will be linked in the description where you can follow me and keep up with me.

There will also be a link to my app and everything else that you need. So go look in the description and go play around. There's a whole bunch of shit for you. But that's all I got for this episode. So everybody stay safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday. That's all I got for this episode, so everybody stay safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday.