Aware & Aggravated - 81. How I Handle Hate. The Psychology Of Being Unbothered

Episode Date: June 18, 2023

In this episode Leo talks about how he handles hate and doesn't let it impact him. He breaks down the psychology of the most common hate comments e receives and teaches you how to build mental armor so you can remain truly unbothered about other people's opinions. Zach Sang podcast episode: https://youtu.be/yT86nbmMCrk✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9🗳️ Vote on the topic for my next podcast episode: https://forms.gle/zLYrqARubCaLTKzT7👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/...📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positiv...Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de... 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/85129... 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

Hi friends, this week I'm gonna teach you how to handle hate because you guys asked me all the time How do I not care about other people's opinions of me and how do I not let other people's judgments like hurt me because I've Mastered being unbothered. I genuinely do not care couldn't care less what other people think of me So I'm gonna kind of teach you how I do it by doing this I'm gonna react to some hate comments and I'm going to break some things down psychologically and also read some people back because I'm the type sometimes like clap back sometimes they don't but I figured the best way to teach you guys how I don't let hate impact me is by reading it and like going through it live with you. So I've compiled a little list of like the

top hate comments that I get and a few that I've been seeing recently that are real funny. But I do have a few points I want to make before we jump into the hate comments and the first one is about trusting your own judgment. People talking about you or speaking negatively is going to hit you and impact you a lot less once you begin to trust your own judgment. So just because someone says something about you, they don't like something about you, they critique you or they're just talking shit. It doesn't mean that they're right. At all. Why do you give them so much power and trust so much in their judgment of you? Do you really not think yourself aware enough to know? So the biggest

thing that helped me is do not immediately assume other people have better judgment than you. Use your own judgment to evaluate what they're saying. Because a lot of people just be talking out of their ass. And usually you can tell, just click on their page. Do they have some kind of god shit in their bio, some kind of like Bible verse, or do they have a busted ass face look at their profile picture. Stock them a little bit. See and evaluate the person that is trying to attack you or speak something over you and

like share their opinion that no one asked for. Like typically when people are like commenting on you or being rude or giving you hate, just evaluate them. Who is speaking? And are you of caliber to even speak to me? And are you of caliber for me to even trust your judgment? It's like these people that comment on my body. We're going to get into it. Any little fitness bro that tries the comment on my body or tell me I don't look that good or give me workout advice. I just

look at them. If you don't look better than me, I'm not taking your advice. It clearly does not work. evaluate and assess who is speaking. Don't just immediately believe what they're saying and like in childhood This is something that you need to break from being a little kid and it's being able to trust the judgment of your elders and The people who are a little bit older than you because you'll subconsciously start to the people who are a little bit older than you because you'll subconsciously start to look to the judgment of others of your peers and like people your own age when you shouldn't. You can't trust people's judgment. From my experience from like a long time ago, I learned you can't trust no one. That's why it's tattooed on my hand. I will never trust anyone that includes someone's judgment. Unless I respect you and there's weight to be held in your words, they go off

my, they go off me. What's it called? Like water off of that stack. The second point I want to hit on is learn how to hold space for two opinions at once. So you have a certain opinion of yourself and what you like and what you do and how you look. Other people are allowed to have other opinions and then both stand. Both can be right. They're an opinion. They belong and they're correct to who holds them. You might think you look good. Some Joe Schmo might think you look bad. To him, you look bad. To you, you look good. Are you gonna choose to throw your opinion and your view in your judgment away?

Because someone doesn't agree. Don't immediately make someone's opinion, hold more weight than yours. Who the hell are they? So that's the biggest thing. It's just learn to understand that two opinions can exist at the same time without discounting one another. Just because you think you look good,

it doesn't discount that he thinks you look bad or if he thinks you look bad, it doesn't discount that you think you look good. or if he thinks you look bad, it doesn't discount that you think you look good. They both can stay there, they both can exist. Which one are you gonna choose to listen to and pay attention to? Which one are you gonna make matter? Are you gonna make some rando's opinion of you matter or not? Are you gonna make your opinion of you matter more?

And the people who love you, take into account their opinion too. Don't just, don't it away, and pickin' up their opinion. Oh, fuck them. Now the last little point before we jump into the hate comments is when someone says something or comments on you or sends you hate or like, talk shit, you can't control if it makes you feel something or not, because when I'm going through my TikTok account

and I see people dogging the hell out of me, it makes my chest feel tight and I get a little aggravated sometimes. I do have an emotional reaction sometimes. A lot of times I'm like, whatever. But when I do have the little emotional reaction, you don't have to do anything about it. You can feel something.

You can feel triggered. I don't like to use that work as people so blow it out of proportion, but you can feel like an emotional reaction to something and not have to do anything about it. It's okay. Hundreds of people comment on my videos all the time. You're gay, you're disgusting, all this and that,

like gay, gay, gay, gay. That's the most popular comment on my page. It's these little straight boys just commenting gay. Like they mean it to be a hate comment. So that's why I see it as a hate comment. But sometimes like reading it over and over and over again, like I get agitated because I wish you were in front of me because you wouldn't speak, but we are on the internet.

So people do get away with a lot of sligh shit. But when you do get a little emotionally charged or have an emotional reaction to someone hating on you, it's normal. And you don't have to do anything about it. It's okay. You're allowed to be aggravated. You're allowed to be pissed off. You're allowed for your feelings to be hurt. But what I usually do when I notice something pisses me off a little bit, I'm like, whatever. But if I can't write something off and it kind of like sticks in my mind, I'll assess it. So I'll ask myself, why did this comment

in particular bother me? Is there an insecurity that I haven't dealt with yet around what they just said? Is it like triggering something I haven't like worked through or become aware of? Like am I already insecure about something and that's why it's hitting? Like I'll self-reflect.

And then I look at their hate comment and I say, okay, Leo, they said this, it pissed you off whatever what am I going to do about it am I going to stop doing what I'm doing am I going to stop posting on social media no am I going to change something that I'm doing because one person out of my three million followers on TikTok didn't like it no ishate and then I'm like okay great let's move forward forget Forget the comment. Make it productive. Make it a self-awareness exercise to see why things bother you so bad.

And then keep your ass on your way. Keep moving, babe. You're going to be just fine. Just because you feel something doesn't mean you have to act on it and doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. You're okay. Alright, now let's read some of these hate comments. The first one that I see and it's a whole group of people

that I'm gonna attack back right now. These little Jimbrose in the fitness community, these people love to run their little rat mouths. And I say rat because they're the size of one. They're like five foot seven. There are guys that come on my page all the time every single day, multiple times a day, all of my social media platforms,

and talk about me not looking that good, and me not being in that good of shape. A lot of them say you aren't buff, you aren't big, and all this and that. They just run their little mouth. So usually, what I would do is click on their page and look at them. If I looked better than them, I would immediately dismiss every single thing that they're saying. Who were you to speak? Like I said in the beginning, who the fuck are you? I don't know who made you think you were somebody, but by looking at you, you don't look like anybody, you don't look like me.

So clearly you're just pissy. Am I saying I'm the best looking person in the best shape on social media? Hell no, I'm far from it. There's plenty of people who look better than me, BUT I realize what I look like and I do look fucking good. We can't discount that. But the other day I had a little realization around these little gymbros and why they get so mad when I post fitness content. Because I posted as like a joke and I post like little mic dubs and I post like certain things here and there. And it's obvious that fitness is a big part of my life

and I put a lot of energy and effort and work into my body. And anyone in the fitness space puts in the same level of work. They know how hard it is. So the realization that kind of struck me is a lot of fitness people are known for their body. They're known for the effort and work they put into their

fitness and their goals with that and the way that they look. You're known for your body. You come across someone like me. I look better than most of them. So you see someone who's putting in the exact same amount of work as you has better results than you and the thing that you're fucking known for. And I don't even make that my personality. All these people's brands are, is being a fitness influencer, they're known for their body. I have the exact results that your full life is revolved around and

none of my social media is revolved around my body and my fitness. I do the same amount as you in the gym with my diet, with training. Everything is the same. Mine's a little better because I look better the most of them, like I said, but they understand the level of work I'm putting in here we match. Then I'm not known for just my body like they are. I'm known for my podcast. I'm known for my personality. I'm known for everything under the fucking sun that is not fitness. I do fitness, sure.

But that's not all I have and that's not what I'm known for. I don't show myself shirtless on social media. I can get attention other ways. These people have to show their body to get attention or no one will watch them. They're not interesting. So me putting in the same amount of effort is them and still looking better.

They're already pissed. I'm doing better on social media. They're pissed again. Then I'm not even known for my results and what I put my effort into, that's the same as them. They're only recognized for that. I'm recognized for everything else. So I match their work ethic

and they know what it takes to be in the gym and look the way that I do. And I'm 10 steps ahead because I'm working on 10 times more than they are. I have so many more avenues and so many other things I do that's not even fitness related that I'm known for. So first thing is they're intimidated by my work ethic because I'm doing exactly what they're doing

10 times more. Then they're intimidated that my personality is what's gotten me where I am. They're over here as dull as a damn donut, not even a glazed one, nothing even shiny on them. They're just boring, like a little piece of dough. So understanding their perspective and why they're feeling the way that they do,

people don't attack other people, unprovoked. They feel provoked. Am I doing anything to actively provoke them and talk about them or do anything to them? No, my presence, me posting and being who I am and showing the results that I have, feels like an attack to them. So they're not actually attacking me unprovoked. They're attacking me because I'm a mirror reflection

of all their insecurities and everything they can't be or achieve. I'd be pissed off too. But a lot of people get triggered when they feel jealous because jealousy is powerlessness and that's where anger comes up. Because when you're jealous, you feel like you can't get something that you see that you want that someone else has. So they're dealing with feeling powerless and insecure and rage and hate and anger is gonna come from that powerlessness. So it makes sense so people attack me. Back to the first point, do I trust their judgment? No, you're

just a triggered little shit and I will never respect someone who can't manage your emotions enough to not unprovoke to attack someone. Because like I said, I didn't actually attack them, they just feel attacked and that's your fucking issue to deal with, not mine. So whenever someone hates on me, I always, my brain just does it now. I look into why they would be doing it. What are you actually commenting about? You're not commenting about my body if I look better than you because I don't look good. You feel attacked by seeing me and you know how bad it hurts

for someone to try and discount the amount of effort you put in the gym. You know that I know the same level of work. So that's your first thing that you think you can discount and discredit on me is like the work you're doing isn't good. You don't look that good, you look like shit. When they try to like slash me, where they think it will hurt me. So I don't question how I look for one second.

I have a mirror, I have plenty of them. I know what I look like, and I look at your page and I know what you look like. Like I said, read into who's saying it, and look at why they'd be saying it. And then also look at what is the point they're actually fighting, because they're not fighting that I don't look good. Okay? We all have eyes. And this instantly dissolves any chance of me like second guessing my body or what I look like Because that's not what they're commenting on that's not why they're commenting that's not the point of Why they commented so I throw it out of my head. I don't worry about it All right next take comment that I see all the time is your advice isn't good and

You shouldn't be giving advice and like all this crap people critique the advice I give all the time and you want to know how I truly do not give a flying fuck because I'm my own testimony of the advice that I give. I have lived my life and figured out and applied what works. I'm my own living testimony of what works and doesn't work. I share the things that I've found that work. I know how the things that I share and the perspectives that I share and the advice that I share has changed my life and how it's completely flipped the way that I feel and improves my relationship with myself.

So I have a resource of backing the proof of what I'm saying and I get to feel it. So I feel how transformative the advice I give is. So whether it's good or not is not in question. People saying that they don't like my advice, you don't have to. And it doesn't mean that it's bad. It's just not for you. And that's fine But I promise you bitch anyone who watches my podcast and does not like my advice or doesn't like my delivery because I yell too much Shut up. You want a little shit. Oh my god people too sensitive these days and I can't stand it tough

I'm not the only lion, but people that are looking for advice or any kind of self-help work You think my advice isn't good. And so you try and go apply everything else. All these little people online are sharing. You're going to try it. You're going to apply it. You're going to realize it didn't work. And where are you going to go?

Right back to me because I got the real shit. And I know that. And I can speak with conviction about that because like I said, I know how what I can speak with conviction about that because like I said, I know how what I share has transformed me. You'll be back. And that's how I do not let people critiquing the advice that I give sway me or even make me question the advice that I give.

It's not about you. And I'm very selective with the advice that I share. Have I shared absolutely everything I know? No. I can't. There's not enough time in the world. For me to get everything out of my brain into a podcast, like that's why I keep doing them. I'm never gonna run out of topics.

I know a lot, there's a lot up here. It's like a big ass head. But anytime I speak, I make sure I'm gonna stand on what I've said. So I think it through. Like I make sure the advice that I give and the podcasts that I make are good advice that I will stand on. I don't look back and regret any of my podcasts. Do I regret certain ways I've said things or how harsh I've been? Is there better words I could have used? Sure,

but the message was good. The advice was good. You can cry if you want. I'm the number one podcast in education. Plenty more people agree that my advice is good. But these couple little shits that say it's bad. Okay go think it's bad. Go watch Jay Shetty. Like I said when you realize it's all bullshit advice you'll be back. All right the next comment is one that used to get to me a lot but now I genuinely just don't care and it's about my hairline. People. And it's about my hairline. People always, always, always comment about my hairline, like I can't see it.

Girl, I know, I see it, I live with it. People literally pointed out like it's something that I haven't been aware of, like for a long time. It's like saying, oh my god, your skin is white. Ugh. Oh my god, thank you so much for telling me. Uh, I haven't been in this body my whole life. I never knew my skin was fucking white. People literally act like they're telling you something you don't already know. But like,

like I said, dive into it. Why are you commenting that? Why are you saying that? Because it's not they're trying to let you know. They're critiquing you and they're looking for something to pinpoint. Either to discredit you or they're just so used to nitpicking and critiquing themselves. That's just the pattern they've learned and that's how they interact in life. You can tell a lot about how someone interacts in life and with other people by how they act toward themselves and it's a reflection, it's a mirror. So if someone is always treating other people bad, they treat themselves the same way. If someone is always critiquing someone

and making a little judgment and a little like critique every chance they get, that's exactly how they are to themselves. They're in their own personal hell. I know the cause of it. They just don't know yet. But now you're probably thinking, thinking okay Leo, how do you not let it impact you and the hairline thing did impact me for a while But now I'm like okay. I've tried everything on the market to Change my hair make it grow back. I've considered getting a hair transplant and just keep buzzing my head because I like the short hair look but am I really gonna look at a hair transplant just to like keep it shape? I don't know, maybe.

My point is I've tried everything on the market to fix it and to make it better. It's not gotten better. Like hair loss is just something that sometimes is untreatable. And I'm like, okay, so accepting the reality that I cannot change it, am I gonna let that stop me?

Am I gonna let my ha me? Am I gonna let my hairline stop me from showing up online and making videos and doing what I want to do? Am I gonna walk around embarrassed over something I can't control? No. Literally. Who cares? The least interesting thing about me is my body. So even if I look mad fucked up and mangled, that's not the point. If you are gonna judge something and the message coming out of someone's mouth just because the way they look, get the fuck off my page right now. I don't want no one like you near here, please. But I'm not gonna let my hairline hold me back from sharing what I have to share

or feeling comfortable. Like embrace it. Okay, I can't change it. What am I gonna do? Freak out. What am I gonna do? Be insecure and just like be so mad about it and like tell myself it's ugly every chance I get a nitpick myself that's unfair and when you have a good relationship with yourself you cannot continue to beat yourself up over something that you cannot change without that just being abuse that is abuse to continually make fun of yourself. Every time I got in the mirror, if I was like making fun of myself for my hairline, for what? What's that gonna do? I've tried to change it. It doesn't change. Like, I literally tried everything

you could think of. It's not gonna change. So now what? I'm gonna drop the bullshit. I'm gonna drop the attacking myself. I'm gonna drop caring about it. It is what it is. Now what? Are we gonna continue moving forward or are we not? You're gonna let a little hairline stop you? Weak ass. I really just think objectively about it like okay, and what? Like I have so many other things that are great. Why am I just gonna cry about the hairline? Like who gives a shit? It's really not that bad. It's kind of like the same realization I have around like all like my freckles in my spots. Like, so what?

You can't change it. So instead of looking for more ways to reject it in yourself, look for ways to accept it. And how could it be okay? How could it be okay for my hair lines to be receding at 25? It was just started receding at 21.

But the amount of stress that I went through is what caused that. And what I was going through in my life is what caused it. what I was going through in my life is what caused it. My hair to fall out. So, something bad happening to me, I lose my hair over it and then I'm going to continue to nitpick myself and beat myself up and attack myself for as long as I live because of the result of that.

Very unfair. Don't do that to yourself. But now I genuinely do not care what other people think about my hairline. Like, what you think? I don't give a shit if I ever get a hair transplant I can afford to get one now. I'll get one when I decide to get one No one's opinion is gonna force me to do something. I don't want to do if I get a hair transplant It's because I'm waiting and I'm gonna wait till I'm ready and if I'm not ready right now

I'm not getting it. So that's how I let that not impact me But do I wish it was different? Yeah, but do I attack myself for it? No. All right, now let's jump into the next comment that I get all the time. And it's the gay thing, like I talked about in the beginning. People are always trying to discount me and discredit me because I'm gay. People talk shit on that constantly. And I think it's so funny because I've really taken time to dive in and like looking at this psychology behind why someone is so mad about someone being gay. Like I've learned some things and I'm gonna share a couple. But the biggest thing I've learned about people commenting

that I'm gay and like calling me, I don't know if I can save us on YouTube because they be demonetizing me every five minutes, but like people become it and like, f*** it. Non-stop. Like multiple times a day, every single day I always got something about me being gay and how I'm a disgrace. The Albanians love to come from here, disgrace your disgusting,

you're not really Albanian, kill yourself, all this shit. I'm like, girl, you wish. But the biggest thing up comes to realize about that is people that try to criticize me and use being gay as a way to discredit me. You only feel the need to discredit something when you're intimidated by it. Think about that for a second. Because if you look at me, I am more of a man than most straight men. Let's take into account all the characteristics

of the one the way that I look, to what I've accomplished and what I do for living and how I've become successful at such a young age. Three, the way that I talk and the way that I act, I'm more tough than most of these little straighty fruit cakes out there. They're all bitches. They all get in tucked in bed by their girlfriend at night baby talking to them. Like they like to be all tough stuff like they're all cool and straight and they're more of a little whore and bed than their girlfriend.

Like please, oh. And also most of my supporters are girls and they're hot as hell. You bitches are hot and these men are mad at valedict. Oh, I love it I eat it up like I have so many hot girl supporters and like These men get mad because they see all trying to convert me in my comments like they see me getting praised from all these women I am a reflection of Everything these straight men wish they were They wish they were as tough as me. They wish they were as tall as me.

They wish they looked like me. They wish they had girls in the amount that I have gawking after them and like eating up anything that they do and just endlessly loving them and supporting them. They wish they had what I have and so much more and the balls to follow and do what I want to do. So that's the main thing. So a lot of little straight men see us on a pedestal.

I'm up here with everything that they see and everything that they want. I've already beat them big time. So what do they do? They see this disconnect. They see me so above them, they have to find something to discredit me so they feel better about being in the position that they're in. So they're like, oh, he's gay and they try and discredit me because they think being gay discounts everything that I have, everything that I am, the way that I look, the things that

I know, they think gay is weak. So they try and use that to discredit everything that proves I'm not weak. These men can't hold space to even imagine me and my potential and who I actually am. They're so intimidated by it. They can't see what's in their face because they take it as such an attack. Like to see that someone like me exists, who is so much better and stronger than them and more of a man than it will ever be, and I'm gay. Like, it's a mind fuck, because straight men are taught that being gay is weak. So you automatically see me as weaker than you, but I'm better than you in all of these areas. I see why you're freaking

out. I see why you feel so attacked and triggered and why you feel so overwhelmed by emotion. You have to attack me and discredit me. It speaks more about you than me bitch Because you know what I don't do go around commenting hey on people because I can control my emotions Rat and the other thing I realized with this is courage a Lot of these men don't have the courage to do anything that I do I have the courage to put myself online. I have the courage to pursue what a lot of these people dream of and wish they had the balls to do and they already feel weak about it. See so when they see me exhibiting so much courage they get even more down on themselves. Oh my god

look I just have to attack me to feel better girl. You fight him with a brick wall I don't care, but with the courage thing Let's break that down a little further with me expressing who I truly am. I am gay and I'm open about it And I'm accepting of that in myself and I am courageous enough to go against and I am courageous enough to go against societal norms. Like it's normal and expected to be straight, like for straighties. Like they're taught being gay as wrong, being straight as right. Most straight men will not do anything against what society says is right. You have to be a man, you have to be tough, you have to do this and do that.

Like they follow these little guidelines they make for themselves. And they do not do anything to risk rejection. They're so disconnected from the way that they feel. They don't follow what truly makes them happy or what they want. They don't even know what makes them happy. They're so void of all their emotions. Like they just, I'm just tough. I have me scar and I greet me some whiskey and get a bit.

Please. They do the weirdest behavior. Oh my god. Like they cope and they're just like they're too poor to, but why am I making them hicks? Why don't I make all straight men country? They're just the loudest homophobic ones. And they be the most undercover gay. I used to live by Alabama. I know a lot of them is a little fruit and I cut. But with them not being able to risk following the way that they feel to do anything that they like or want to try that might make them look a little feminine or be against the societal norms of what a man should be, they would not dare take that risk. So when you have me over here who just embraces that risk and doesn't care, I have no fear of being rejected. They have so much fear of being rejected.

And I'm over here just living my life doing my thing. Don't give shit. Like I just do what I want to do and I don't care if I'm rejected or not. I live without fear and that's something that takes courage and that's something they don't have. You see how me just being me is so goddamn triggering. I kind of eat it up. I'm a mirror of everything you need to work on. You insecure little fuck and I'm gonna take this one step further with the rejection thing of how you treat things in yourself is how you're gonna treat it when you see other people doing it. So if you might have feelings of being gay or have feelings of taking risks

and wanting to go against societal norms, if you turn against yourself and say, no, that's bad, you can't do that. Like, can you just shove it down and you're like, no, you can't do that and you like hide it. When someone gay pops up in front of you or someone who is willing to take the risks that you're not willing to for rejection pops up in front of you, you're gonna treat them exactly how you just treated all those things inside you. So if you have feelings of being gay that you've shoved down and you think are disgusting, you're gonna be disgusted when you see it. If you've

convinced yourself it's bad and it's wrong, you're gonna shame them, it's bad, it's wrong. If you've shoved down the thoughts that you have of trying things that go against societal norms and you see someone else embracing that, you're gonna treat that part of them, how you treated that part of you, by shutting it down, by telling them it's bad bad by telling them it's stupid. So when people are commenting about you being gay, it's not about you being gay at all. It's about what it reflects to them and what it reflects that they aren't and what it reflects to them that they've suppressed, which is a lot. And the next comment I get all the time, it kind of like goes off on like being gay. People always say I'm going to go to hell and I need to repent and pray because I'm going to go to hell for being gay. Why did that rhyme?

But no, that asked. People always comment that I'm going to hell for being gay. Like all the time, like it's really crazy how much I see it. But a lot of people cannot understand how I'm willing to choose my consequences. If living my life and following what makes me happy and making my time on this earth the most enjoyable I can as it falls in with my values and morals, for me to choose to live my life as me and as authentic, and if part of that is being gay, I will take

the consequence of my soul going to hell. I've thought this through. I don't really believe in the concept of hell, but I am strong enough and I'm accountable enough to know if I do these actions and this is the potential consequence, I choose the consequence. So if I'm going to hell, so be it. I'm not scared. I'll sit there and burn for eternity. I'm not the type to live my life and avoid things because of fear. I don't do that. And other people cannot grasp that concept.

They cannot even entertain the thought that I am not terrified. They are so run by, oh my god, I can't do this, I can't do that. Like I'm gonna hell, like their life is an avoidance of everything that they want and desire and things that they want to do because they're fearing a consequence. You're not living your life, you're avoiding what you've been taught to fear. That's not a life. So you think you're living, you're not. And the way this doesn't bother me at all anymore is because I've thought it through. I've assessed this for myself. If there is a heaven and hell, and I'm gonna go to hell for being gay,

okay, so be it. But people hear that and they're like, Oh, you can't imagine how bad it is. Oh my god, it's the worst torment of ever. Like, you're gonna be there forever. You're gonna be tormented until the end of time. Wee! They hear me be so confident in my decision, and then they try further to push their fear onto me, and make it sound so much worse.

So, I will bend, because they've instilled fear in me, to act the way that they want me to act that's fucking manipulation And I don't listen to it. I have assessed this for myself. I don't care people that are commenting you're going to hell You live a powerless little life. You're a spine-less And I'm not taking advice from you. You're running around so scared to live your own life Like I said in the beginning of this episode Assess who's making these claims. Do I trust the judgment of someone who is living their life? Just avoiding something that they fear. No, I don't trust you. No, I don't respect you. No, I don't care What you have to say. Therefore, it's wiped out. If I go to hell, I'll burn for eternity. But see you there. You hate the little shit The next comment is

something that I've been seeing recently and it genuinely tickles me, but baffles me even more. It's the perfect example of the pot calling the kettle black. And this is just gonna tickle you when I tell you. But recently there have been a few transgender people commenting on my TikTok because I was open about doing steroids and I talked out people commenting on my TikTok because I was open about doing steroids and I talked about my cycle on my TikTok and all that and I was like open about it because so many people lie and spread all this misinformation. So I just was honest about my experience with it and how it was going. I was not promoting it.

I was sharing what I was doing. I wasn't giving advice. Now a couple of transgender people were attacking me and Saying how it's wrong for me to use hormones to change my body And what are you doing bitch? That just makes me giggle so hard. I'm not taking a single thing You have to say seriously and I've blocked a lot of them, because why the hell are you commenting that on my page?

You're doing the exact same thing. You are using hormones and chemicals to change the way your body looks, so it better suits the way you want it to look and how you feel. I don't want to be a scrawny little shit, so if I take some hormones and use that to boost what I'm already doing to look the way I want to look, so be it. You're doing the exact same thing. You're transitioning your whole gender. I'm putting a little muscle on and leaning down.

That one made me giggle, like I pissed myself laughing. Like the lack of self-awareness, like girl, make sure your porch is clean before you tell me mine is dirty. Cause you look dumb. I'm bald, but I'm not a bozo, but you are. Alright, the next comment that I get all the time is people saying that I'm insecure. Where? And it's usually when I talk about relationship advice or how I am and what I look for in a relationship.

And people love to run their mouth about it, but what people fail to realize is we don't have the same experiences or the same perspectives. So what you see as insecure, I don't see as insecure. People just immediately see something unhealthy in a relationship or see me doing something like when I talk about Testing people. You're gonna prove yourself to me before I let you close to me. People call that insecure. When you don't do that, I look at it like you're naive. You look at it like it's healthy. We have different perspectives because we have different experiences. I'm happy. No one has broken your trust to the point where you cannot trust anyone. I'm so happy

you don't have those experiences, but you're dealing with someone who does. And what I choose to do to feel safe is different than insecure by my definition. Are there times where I do have insecurity? Yeah, but I've already like assessed that and processed that you haven't. You've been taught what's healthy and unhealthy in relationships and run around labeling things as insecure

that you don't understand. You lack objectivity and you lack general understanding. You can't even hold space for another person's perspective or see why what they're saying makes sense. That's why I immediately wipe out anytime someone calls me insecure. You think it's insecure. I don't.

See how I talked about holding space for two different opinions? You're allowed to have your opinion. Like I said, you think what you're doing is healthy. I think it's naive. You think what you're doing is healthy. I think it's naive. You think what I'm doing is insecure. I don't. And that is because we have different experiences.

And that's because I've assessed everything that I do and go through and why I do things. Why I go through a partner's phone or track their ass. That's a different topic though. It's not because I'm insecure. I look at it like it's a fact check. I'm checking to see if you're lying.

I'm not insecure. I'm not trusting. That's the thing. If I'm insecure on anything, it's that people will tell me the truth because I've had a life of experience where people don't that's not in security That's a track record that is caused me to be the way that I am and the way that I seek safety

You need to understand that's what it is when I seek security and safety and I'm assessing if someone is good and Capable of caring about me before I bring them close to me and assessing if they're gonna hurt me or not. These people lack the understanding that you need to do that. You cannot just be so open and trusting with everyone and let everyone in, let everyone know your secrets. You need to be protective of yourself, you need to be guarded, you need to assess someone for the standards that you have. And part of my standards are a screening mechanism to see if someone meets the requirements of

able to provide safety and be safe to care about. Call out what you want, but you can't get in my head because I've taken accountability and I've assessed and taken time to understand everything that I do and why I do it. So that's like the biggest thing with handling hate. You need to make like an airport security in your mind. Before you let something someone says come into you and hit you, you need a wall of defense. You need something to screen it. You need to assess, is it even accurate? Is it true? Is there any validity in it? Before you let it pass through to hit you.

You need a wall of armor, mentally and emotionally, from people running their fucking mouth. And that's what genuinely helped me be less insecure. I don't just ignore everything everyone says. I have a screening process for it and I only let things end that I filtered out that are not bullshit and are valid. Like if someone I respect and look up to criticizes me or says something, anyone above

you or anyone that's genuinely looking out for you is not going to criticize you in a hateful way. They'll wrap it up in a way you can understand that it's constructive. They're not just going to talk shit. That's one thing to remember. No one above you is talking shit on you because they know what it takes for you to be where you are. They know how hard it is. They know the struggle. They've been through it. When someone's above you or achieved more than you or looks better than you, they know what it's like and they know what you're going through. Hate comments come from ugly people inside and out. They don't get it. No one ahead of you is talking about you. Trust me. That's where a lot of your hate can be wiped out. Assess who is saying it.

Assess who is making these claims about you. That something is bad or wrong. I don't wanna say nine times out of 10. Like, 999 times out of 1,000. The person is not of caliber. They're not of quality. They're not anyone worth a shit to even listen to. That's why they need to scream so they can feel heard.

Intimidated people are the loudest. Remember that. Okay, the next day come. This one's funny. The next day come when I have comes from my Instagram. Because recently I've been posting furniture for sale on my story for people in Houston who ever wants to buy it because I'm trying to get rid of some stuff because I'm moving. And the couple of people literally swiped up on my stories and were like, love you, but your taste and furniture is awful. Like and just dogging the furniture that I have and saying that it's disgusting and it's ugly and I have no taste and I'm wasting my money and all this and that.

Girl, what do I do? First thing, assess who's saying it. I go look at their page and a lot of these people's houses look like a literal IKEA showroom and not the cute part, like the shitty part. Like you just have the most basic ass rooms to go ass looking furniture. That's what you think good design and good interior is, and that's what good furniture is to you. Of course, you think my taste is bad. That's your taste.

My furniture looks nothing like that. I don't like that style. I like 70s, 80s postmodern. For people to comment on my taste and furniture, do I immediately get insecure that, oh my God, do I actually have my taste and furniture is my stuff ugly? No, I picked it out because I like it. a bad taste in furniture is my stuff ugly no I picked

it out because I like it I was matching my furniture to my taste not their taste if it was to their taste I'd have an LED shripper on my room like a goddamn fuck boy no baby I don't do that and for people that think rooms to go type furniture is like good and nice and stylish. Clearly we have differing opinions, we have different likes and dislikes. And for someone to like that reveals how your brain works. And the fact that you're trying to attack me for it, because I don't match yours and you think your opinion is the only one that stands and Everyone else is wrong You're not someone whose judgment I can trust therefore it's wiped out. It don't matter All right, the last hit comment is one that almost got to me and almost made me a little like ooh

But I quickly Reworked it in my mind and it didn't impact me at all, I actually kind of liked it. So someone on my Zack Seng podcast episode, if you guys didn't know I was on Zack Seng show, I'll put the link in the description, you can watch it. But I was on his podcast episode and I thought it was good, it was funny. And some guy commented on that video just like ripping me

and like talking shit. And then he was like, you're so immature and you're gonna look back and be so embarrassed about how you acted. And that's where I say, assess the judgment. Whose judgment are you going to listen to? Don't assume somebody has better judgment than you just because they say something. I don't trust people's judgment until your judgment is proven trust worthy. So for someone to say, you're going to look back and be embarrassed by

your behavior. A lot of people would immediately be like, Oh my God, I did something wrong. I did something bad. And like, start to get insecure about it. I'm self-aware enough to know the way that I act and the way that I behave. And I'm proud of it. And for him saying, you're going to be embarrassed in the future about how you acted today. I hope so. I am a whole new person every three months. I look back on things I posted three, six months ago and I cringe. And that's what I want.

I want to be developing and growing and improving and changing that fast that I look back and cringe. I hope I look back on my behavior and I'm embarrassed by it because it means I've leveled up. I'm not scared of cringing up myself. I want to because it's proof and like validation of how much I've changed and improved. Like I'm excited to look back and be embarrassed. I don't think I will be because I know what the hell

I'm saying, I don't say things I don't stand on, but that comment, like a lot of people would get really insecure about it. So I wanted to share my kind of perspective on it. Is if someone says something like that to you, you better hope you look back and be embarrassed to your behavior. It means you've done good.

It means you've grown. It means you your behavior. It means you've done good. It means you've grown. It means you've learned. It means you've changed. So I hope I look back and I'm embarrassed because it will mean that I've learned more. And that's what I'm doing. I'm always on a mission to learn more. I literally read like a book a week.

With everything that I do, I still be listening to audiobooks. Like I'm a busy little bee. I learn all the time. I love learning. I love exploring new perspectives. But that's just what I wanted a busy little bee. I learn all the time. I love learning. I love exploring new perspectives. But that's just what I wanted to throw in here. If anyone's saying that to you, hope for it. Hope that you learn so much and improve so much that you look back on our embarrassed

and your new threshold of what's good is raised so high. Because like I'm at my threshold now of what I think is good. So it's just going to get higher from here. So when I look back and I'm like eh, I means I've leveled up If you want to follow me on Instagram and TikTok and all my social media I will link it in the description for you I'll also put the link to my merch and my app positive focus so you can go download it Get some positive notifications to your phone like I'm in your pocket But if you enjoyed this video and you learned something leave it a thumbs up and leave me a comment down below if you're watching on YouTube. And if you're listening to the audio version of this podcast, hey Dave, you know the drill,

you know how we talk every week about giving me a five star rating? Yeah, run it back, do that please. That is all I have for this episode. So everyone, be safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday. So everyone, be safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday.