Aware & Aggravated - 83. Signs Someone Is Gay, Rejecting Toxic Love, & Depression (WWLD)

Episode Date: July 2, 2023

In this episode Leo gives advice to you guys for our monthly WWLD episode. Get ready! He didn't hold back in this one. ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9🗳️ Vote on the topic for my next podcast episode: https://forms.gle/zLYrqARubCaLTKzT7👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/...📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positiv...Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de... 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/85129... 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

Hi friends, I'm officially in LA and now I'm happy about it. Because a couple days ago, I was regretting my entire life. Like this whole move has been a fiasco. And for the first like four days, I was like, I hate it. I wish I had never moved. There was just a lot of chaos and like so many little things went wrong. But I forced things to get better. And now everything's looking up, everything's going fine.

And I'm excited to get back to recording podcasts. This is like my sense of normal and like my stability and I need y'all right now. And this week we're doing a what would Leo do. So let's jump into it. I'm ready to run my mouth. So the first person asked, how can you tell if someone is gay? And Leo's had to do a lot of research on his own. It's so hard to clock people, usually, because the type of guys that I'm into usually can't tell. And there are plenty of ways and plenty of things like to throw at you

that might let you know of someone's gay, but the number one thing is watch someone's eyes. And I'm talking, watch their eyes when they talk to you. Are they like looking you up and down, they're looking at your lips, they're looking at your arms, watch where their eyes go when they're talking to you. If you're into them and you hope they're into you, the other thing with the eyes, because the eyes never lie. Watch what they look at in public. So like when a guy walks by me and looks attractive out of my

peripherals, I just glance or I look or like I got it like look like I cannot So that's a big way to tell look at what people look at in public So if you're looking at a guy trying to tell if he's gay where do his eyes go even if it's a split second Look at where they're looking if it's a girl and you're wondering if she's into girls look at how she looks at girls Because there's a big thing with like looking at someone attractive and admiring them But you know the eyes I'm talking about when it's attraction and not admiration Okay, that's like the number one thing that will rat somebody out and that's what ratted me out a lot when I was like Straight

Or in the closet I should say so just remember me saying that if you want to know if someone's gay just watch their eyes That's the one thing that I've found to be most consistently Accurate with letting me know if somebody's a little homosexual Okay, this next one is about friendship and who is driving their loud-ass motorcycle outside my window right now? Can't you see that I'm busy? Not somebody's car is going off. Please tell me you can't hear it. Oh my god This LA era is gonna be a lot. Oh Jesus Christ. So this next situation is about friendship.

So this girl has three friends she's really close with. It's like a little friend group. And she said that two of her friends came to her about the other girl in the friend group and said that the other girl was talking shit and had been talking shit for a while. So I'm gonna break a couple things down, but first thing to realize is your friends

that came and told you this other friend is talking shit, they are rats, they're little snitches, okay? That's the first thing I'm gonna say, why are you gonna go run around and tell everybody what I'm saying in confidence, like you're a rat? Two, if this girl was talking shit about you, to your other friends, multiple times is a big red flag because your friends engaged in that conversation.

They allowed her to talk shit. There's a difference between talking about something someone did versus just dogging them. So if these two friends are just telling you Ovis girl's talking bad about you, why are you letting her talk about me like that? See, they're your friends just ratted on themselves, but they're engaging in this conversation and not shutting it down when this other friend is talking about you But the other thing in her message, she said the other friend that is apparently talking shit about her acts like everything's fine and like nothing's going on

So what I would do is have a conversation one on one with a girl that was apparently talking shit. And I would ask what was being said, what she was feeling, what was going on. I would ask was she actually saying these things, and if so, why? Have an adult conversation about it. It doesn't have to turn into a pissing match or a fight.

You can just get down to the bottom of it and agree if this person's talking shit on you, go your separate ways But as for the other two friends, I'm cutting them both off because you're sitting here entertaining someone talking bad about me Multiple times you've done it and you just ratted yourself out to me if your friends with me and someone is talking about me In a room that you're in I don't expect you to argue with them But I expect you to shut down the conversation. Be like, hey, Leo's not here to defend himself.

We're not gonna talk about him. We're not gonna talk about somebody while they're not in the room. That's how I play it. So at the least, I expect my friends to do that. But if someone's in a room just dogging me, if my friend will stand up for me, you ain't my friend. If you're engaged in this conversation or just allowing this conversation to be had, you're not the kind of friend I want. Go away. You're cut. Alright, the next person said, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so I've been dating casually and hooking up with people, but I keep losing my shit because I'm scared

I'm gonna catch something. How do you handle this anxiety and or this weird single state? Having anxiety and being worried that you're gonna catch something is normal. That's part of what comes with what you're doing. If you're gonna be hooking up with people, there is a risk you will catch an STD. You can't just be blind to it. Unless you are going to the clinic with someone and watching them get their blood drawn and get all these tests done and Being with them until you get the results. There is no way you will know for sure You're not gonna catch something. You just have to choose that anxiety if you're gonna keep going through with that

If you're gonna be just hooking up freely condoms prep anything you can do to kind of like Prevent catching it. I highly, but I would make people get tested and be able to show proof that they're clean. But like I said, we're dealing with the anxiety you feel. And I'm gonna tell you, there's no way to get around it. There's no way to do that. It's like, you're going skydiving.

And you're like, how do I not be scared that my parachute won't open when I jump out of the plane? That's just part of the risk you're taking. Like there's no way around it. You know? It really seems like you want to keep doing it just without the responsibility of the anxiety. But you gotta see, you're gonna have that anxiety

because of what you're engaging in. It's normal to be worried and it's like expected. You should be paranoid. You should absolutely be paranoid with your health So I think the anxiety is there to help you because you know better. You're aware. That's why you're anxious So start implementing steps to protect yourself and make sure you are okay. I highly recommend getting tested often and having other people you hook up with Get tested before you hook up with them Trust me. I've been there. So just be fucking careful

How? But I love you for it All right, the next person said why do I feel like every time I feel down or not myself? I want to leave the country forget my name and start over again I feel like if I'm stuck in a cycle of believing I need to be in a whole different environment so that I can change This is something I actually deal with too. I'm a runner Okay, but I'm gonna break down kind of why this comes about but the whole getting stressed getting overwhelmed Getting down anything like that. You just want to like go throw everything away and go restart

I've done it multiple times. And the reason it's so enticing to consider just going and completely restarting is because it's a relief from all of the pressure you currently feel. So to look at your life and see all the things that you need to do and change about it to improve it and get it to how you want it to be, you can see that there's so much work to be done and there's so much pressure in that and it just seems a lot more difficult than just wiping it all off the table and getting a new table.

Like it seems a lot easier. And what I want you to realize is it's not bad to think like this. If you act on it constantly, that's a little different, but you have to understand what this thought sets you free from. And it's all the pressure and responsibility of correcting your current life. It does feel easier when you think about it to just completely go restart and sometimes it is like when something is too far gone, girl just go to the next thing. Just go start somewhere else but you don't have to do that.

So I wanted to make you aware of the kind of split that's going on. You don't have to go restart to get your life to look the way you want it to look. You can choose to go through with fixing your current life to get it the way you want to look. It just feels very overwhelming and it's normal, but your current life can be improved 100%. But if you are dead set on going and making a new life, you totally can. But just understand, you don't have to throw everything away and go restart to get to the desired outcome. It's just a matter of which route do you want to take

to achieve the feelings that you want to achieve. And also get very clear on what it is you want to feel and what you want your life to look like before you choose either thing. Because when you get clear on what you want your life to actually look like, you can see if either option is actually going to get you there or not. And you'll be able to pick the right one.

Because throwing everything away and leaving might be the right thing. It was for me the first time. Now this second time, I'm still waiting to see if it was the right move. Okay, this girl said, am I delusional in thinking he actually loves me, or he doesn't give a fuck and manipulates me. Me just gripping my sippy cup. Cause what the hell girl? If you are aware someone is manipulating you,

it's no longer manipulation. You're just choosing to fool yourself. But that's the biggest thing. Manipulation is only manipulation. If you don't know you're being manipulated. If you are aware this person is lying to you and manipulating you, you're just going into a delusion You're creating for yourself. You're no longer being manipulated. You're choosing what's happening to you

There's a lot more to this paragraph that she sent But I'mma just stop at that first sentence because people need to understand that as soon as you become aware Someone is trying to manipulate you. You are no longer being manipulated. You're choosing what's happening So if you don't like it, choose different. Oh god, this next one. This person said, I lost my best friend because I hooked up with someone she hooked up with in the past and she's in her own relationship and still called me a whore for it. Am I in the wrong? Did I break girl code? Yes. my views on friendship are very jaded and what I mean by jaded, very fucking old school. I don't play this whole sleep with everybody's deep identity.

If my friend is interested in you, you are now considered off limits in my mind. That's just how I am, that's how I operate. And I expect my friends to be the same way. I will never feel in competition with my friend over a guy I like. And anyone that I've slept with or been with is off limits to who I'm friends with. And if you don't operate from the same mindset, we're not going to get along and I'm going to cut you off like this girl did you. But the way you should have handled this situation, if you genuinely wanted to go hook up with

someone that your friend hooked up with, you should have went to your friend about it first. I know she's in her own new relationship and she's moved on from it, but you should have went to her and just asked her if she'd be okay with it. Take her into consideration. Take her feelings into consideration and just run it by her. And this is a weird one because it's not like you genuinely wanted this person you were like oh my god I want to go try dating him like you just wanted to go fuck him so your friend is gonna be looking at you like I wasn't even worth like thinking of before you just went and like had sex and hooked up with

someone like it's different if you genuinely wanted to date this dude but it was just like a little hook up. So I get while your friends pissed off and I want to cut you off too, but I'm not here to shame you or make you feel bad. Just in the future, if you're gonna hook up with someone that your friend has hooked up with in the past, I don't care how much time has gone on. If you're close with this friend, go to them and talk to them about it first. See what they say, see how they feel. I 100% will say, if your friend is actually over this person and done with this person and you come to them and say,

hey, I wanna hook up with them, like, do you mind? I don't think they would say, yeah, I mind, don't do it. I feel like they were like, I don't care, go ahead. But it's just the fact that you didn't give your friend the opportunity to kind of say how she felt about the situation before you just jumped, like you kind of discarded the way your friend the opportunity to kind of say how she felt about the situation before you just jumped, like you kind of discarded the way your friend felt and just went and got some day.

So I'm learning moment for sure. I don't want to say you broke girl code, but like you broke my moral code. Alright, the next one's a little deep. Someone said how to not give up when every door is closed in your life. What I've learned about being in positions like this is when you're trying not to give up, but every door is closed in front of you, what you need to do is actually give up. You need to give up.

On the ways that you think you can get to what you want, none of these ways are gonna work. All the doors are closed for a reason. You do need to give it a chance and like try and force all of these doors open. Give it your best to try and go down all these different avenues. But if you have tried everything and it's just not working and you feel like all these doors are closed to get to what you want, give up on all of those doors, turn around and find a completely different alternate route to get there. There is one. There are unlimited paths to get to what you want to achieve. So if all of the paths you're trying aren't working, I know it feels

like there's no other way to get there. I promise you there is. So just release the resistance of having to get there in all of these ways that you've already thought of and just open up to the perspective and the possibility of finding an alternate way to get there. There are more than you can think of. I had no clue where my life was heading and how I was going to get here, but here I am. All of the doors in my life felt closed so many times. All the windows too, you know the whole thing. When a door closes and other one opens,

when a door closes, the window opens, all that was bullshit for me. When I was back in like, when all my doors were closed. But your whole thing is you think you see all the doors. There's so many more doors you just aren't seeing yet. So stop looking for the ones that are closed and look for the ones that could open. Trust me. Oh God, this happened to me. So I can help you for real on this one. Someone said, what do you do when they threaten to blackmail you with nudes?

So what I want you to do is get extremely educated on the laws and how to go about filing a complaint or a police report or whatever you're going to do if this person leaks your nudes. I want you to study all the legal terms and all the steps you need to take for revenge porn and all the way as someone can be prosecuted for releasing your nudes. Get clear on all the things that you have to do and all the things that can happen and get clear on the process of doing the things that you have to do and all the things that can happen. And get clear on the process of doing it because you might have to act on it. So once you are clear on all this information, it shouldn't even take you more than a day to research it and

Google it and make some calls and figure out everything you need to figure out. Go to this person that is threatening to leak your nudes and say, if you release my nudes, publish them, post them, or distribute them anywhere, I will take legal action. After you say that, you're going to say, in writing, do not ever contact me again, because that gives you the foundation to go file a restraining order. Because if they contact you after you say, do not contact me again, you can go file for a restraining order of harassment every time I message you, but do not respond. As soon as you send someone, do not contact me again, you cannot respond ever again.

Because if they send you 100 texts and you send back fuck you, it wipes out all of the harassment they just send. So nothing happens for the last 100 texts they just harassed you with. It gets wiped out. Every time you respond, it wipes out what you said of do not contact me again. Like do not respond. This is how you set yourself up for a good little legal battle. So some of the techs don't contact me again. After you warn them, if you leak or distribute my nudes,

legal action will be taken. Send the do not contact me again. Then everything they send after that. Screenshot it. Screenshot you saying also do not contact me again have it all Proof photo everything because someone can literally ruin your life with leaking your nudes and they can cause a lot of problems so get prepared and You're gonna feel a lot less scared because if someone does do this, you know exactly how to get them

And you know exactly what's gonna happen to them when you start filing things. So just the knowledge and understanding what can happen and the proper steps to take with a little like revenge porn thing, it's gonna make you feel so much more competent and like, all right, I got this like worst case scenario, they do leak it. Now I have all these steps to go do to get back at them. And if they keep messaging you after the do not contact me again, if they get annoying with it, you can go find a restraining order. And they're going to get slapped with those papers when they get served, when they haven't heard from you. And they'll be like, like, she was frereal. That's the best thing. When people are just

like fighting you over the phone, they get all tough stuff and all cool. But like as soon as you bring a little reality into it and a little consequence for their action, they shut the fuck up real quick. So that's what I suggest to do if someone's threatening you with nudes, okay? Also, don't fucking send them. Don't send them. And this age of this me, I sound like an old geezer.

And this age, literally in this age of like 2023, don't be sending no nudes. Do not. Now, it's literally not a good idea. In this age of like 2023, don't be sinning no moods. Do not. No. It's literally not a good idea. And you're basically giving someone ammunition for you to use something against you. And be able to manipulate you and control you

because they have something that you do not want shared so they can control your actions with it. Bad move. Don't give someone that. All right, the next person asked, how do you cut off toxic family members who love you? A lot of people ask me about this, and what I really need to do is just give you permission

to reject certain types of love. So, if someone in your life treats you a certain way and says, this is love, I love you. You are fully 100% allowed to look at the person and how they show love and say, I don't want that love. You are fully allowed to be picky with the type of love that you receive, because some people will abuse you and say that is love. You're allowed to look at that and say, I understand this is how you show love, but I do not want it. And you're allowed to cut

them off. Fully. There's nothing wrong about it. You're not saying I don't like you. And you're bad. You're wrong. It's like, I don't want to accept love like that. That's not love I want in my life. I'm okay without it. They'll get pissy, but you're fully allowed to cut people off. That's really how I do it. I look at the way someone treats me and I let that be the reason I no longer want them around me. And I let that be the reason that I cut them off. Like the way you treat me. Because there's no fight in it. You can get mad all you want. This one just threw me for a loop. Someone said catching feelings for my situation ship, but I'm also in a five year relationship that I no longer am interested in.

Plus, I don't get the attention or love I need, but we do have a child, so I kind of feel like I'm stuck. There's a lot I could say about this, and I'm not gonna be mean, because I understand why you are doing it, but what I'm gonna tell you is gonna set you free. You have a child child and you feel stuck and you look at your child as the reason

you feel trapped in this situation. But I actually want you to flip it and look at your child as your way out. So for you to be in a relationship you are unfulfilled in, you're not able to stand up for yourself and just leave because you are unfulfilled in. You're not able to stand up for yourself and just leave because you're unfulfilled and unhappy in the relationship. So if you can't do it for you, do it for your child. To set the right impression and to show them how to behave when they get older. You don't want to send your kid the message that you should just stick in a relationship

that you're unhappy in and be Neglected and hide the truth of how you feel and lie and cheat and go be hooking up with someone else. You want to teach your kid to value themselves and the way that they feel and if they're neglected to leave, to go find better. And I know you're stressed about splitting up your family for your kid, but if you do it right, this is not gonna impact the kid negatively at all. Like for you to get out of a place where you don't feel happy,

your relationship with your kids is gonna get better. And so is their relationship with their dad. Like I know that you feel a lot of stress and you're very like confused in all of this and I see why you stepped out and why you have a situation shift because cheating is all about unmet needs. So instead of going to your partner and saying, Hey, I'm not happy in all these areas, you've just found another way to supplement the needs getting met that you aren't having met in

your relationship. I get it. I've done that before. Will I do it again? No, but I really think the best thing to say to you is do it to set a good example for your kid. And that's something that's going to set you free and give you the courage to do it and to actually stand up for yourself without making it about you. Make it about your child. Make it about them. Use what you have to use to get the strength and get yourself out of a bad situation. And even if your kid gets pissy, your kid is going to grow up and respect you when they look back on that decision. You left somewhere, you didn't feel cared for, you didn't feel loved,

you didn't feel fulfilled, and you chose to go find that somewhere else. And you did it to show your kid they should do the same thing. You're not teaching your kid to self sacrifice. You need to stop doing it to send them that message. So I threw a lot at you, but you get my point. And I know you're in the tough position, but you're going to be more than okay. And this is going to be hard, but look for the strength and show in your kid how to handle life. Do it for them. Okay, this last situation, I'm about to piss a lot of people off, but you come here for the truth.

Not no sugar coated little candy draft, okay? Oh god damn, this one's gonna strike a chord. There's two situations that coincide, but I'm gonna read one than the other. The first one is short. The girl said, what do you do if you're too depressed to work? First thing I have to say about that is that is a luxury. To say that you are too depressed to work

and to be actually able to use that as an excuse to not have to work is a luxury. That's the first thing I'm gonna say. We're gonna break it down in a second. The second person said, I can't seem to motivate myself to work on the luxury. That's the first thing I'm gonna say. We're gonna break it down in a second. The second person said, I can't seem to motivate myself to work on the growth of my business. I have two jobs right now, but I want nothing more

than to be my own boss and have a successful business. I use the, I don't have time, excuse. I don't know how to stop bullshitting myself. LOL, I can't quit my jobs and fully focus on my company because money, duh, but I lack discipline and I don't know where to start. Again, you are in a privileged situation. You need to jeopardize your life.

You need to jeopardize the situation you're in and you're not going to need motivation. But the first thing I want to call out is you say, I want to be my own boss more than anything. Where are your actions that are in line with that? So you can say I would like to be my own boss one day, but for you to say I want that more than anything is not accurate. That's kind of a delusion and I want to set you free from that because your actions are not doing that. And that's where you run into a spiral of saying I want this thing so bad and you're

convincing yourself you're doing all this work and it's not actually for that. Make sense? I've run into that too many times so I just wanted to say that. But for you to be in this position with two jobs and you know you want to go work on your own business but you don't have the motivation. You are cushy. You're happy, you're comfortable, you got your two jobs, you're stressed, you know what you're doing but you are financially consistent and you're fine. Quit one of those fucking jobs. Quit one of those jobs. Scare the fuck out of yourself.

And you will no longer need the motivation to work on your business. You're going to have the extra time and you're going to have a lack of money. So you're going to get frantic and you're all of a sudden going to get any dyes because you're in survival mode. You're going to be able to work on your business and it's not gonna be a, I get to work on my business. I have to work on it. Jeopardy's your situation and start working on that shit.

Like the girl that says I'm too depressed to work. Your life as it is is comfortable for you to be depressed. You need to make being depressed and not working more uncomfortable. So make your life at work more enjoyable than your life at home. Literally destroy that shit. Like ruin your circumstances, ruin your home life, make it so uncomfortable to stay the fuck at home that it feels like a relief to go to work. That's truth of it. And I know these examples are a little bit extreme, but I've had to do this with myself.

So like a year ago, I was in a similar situation where I was doing good finally. Like, I had been so stressed and I had just been working off survival mode. Like when I was doing coaching calls last year, I was doing like 40 a week. And I was making money and I was finally like, ahead for a while. I was like, whoa, I have like three months of rent stacked up. I've got all the money for my bills for next month. Everything's stacked up early. Like I have an overflow of money.

And then I had like two grand of just like, money extra, like piss away money. And having the money and having everything prepaid made me feel relaxed. And I started to notice, I started to slack and I started to not be motivated. And I was like, eh, I don't really want to work on this. I don't really want to do it

because I've was conditioned to only work through scarcity, lack, and fear. And it's taken me a while to reposition that and really get the discipline to work, even if there is no negative consequence, because right now, not having money is not a consequence. Like, I'm fine whether I make this or don't. So, like, I've had to do other things

to make myself still perform. So, last year when I had my extra little money and I was cushy, I was so desperate to get that urge to work back and like the motivation and like the little bit of fear, I was so desperate to get that urge to work back and like the motivation and like the little bit of fear, I was so desperate to get it back because it didn't feel good to go around day to day without like the inclination to do things. So I went and blew the money. I went about a product bag for two grand.

And I know it's not like the most smart thing to do, but I'm the type where I will never let myself fall or let myself down. So for me to jeopardize my situation, I knew I would have been okay and now I'm more than okay, but I got that fear back in me and it gave me that motivation again. It's like I have to do this, like I have to make sure I'm okay and I got that feeling back and I worked again. So when I say to be depressed and not work or to not be working on your businesses and all that, your life is too cushy. Jeopardy!sit. Make your life uncomfortable where working on what you need to

work on feels better. See? And I really don't recommend that to anyone. I'm not telling you to do it because I don't want people fucking up their life and then coming to me. But if you're strong enough to do something like this and you know you won't let yourself down, you just really need that motivation again. That's what I did. I jeopardized my situation and I fucking made it

over and over again. And one more thing I want to hit about the first one of being too depressed to work. You're letting your depression control you and I really want to do a full're letting your depression control you and I really want to do a full podcast episode about depression because I've literally clobbered depression like a little horse yeas. But for you to look at being depressed and then speak over yourself I'm depressed therefore I cannot work. That's not the truth.

That's a delusion. I am tired, sad, depressed, don't want to get out of bed, don't have motivation. And I'm choosing not to work. Because you can be tired, have no motivation, literally have no will to get out of bed, and still force yourself to get up. That's your choice. Whether you force yourself to move forward with it or let it stop you. And I know what it's like to be in that position and it's hard and it's going to be hell. But the first step is do not use your depression as a scapegoat for why you can't do things. I can't do XYZ because I'm depressed. I'm choosing

not to do XYZ because I feel depressed. Say, that really changed a lot for me. It's just a matter of reframing what you're saying and giving yourself a more empowered approach and a more empowered mindset around it. Like, you can fully get up even if you're deadass tired. And that's one thing you can do is literally when you feel so dog depressed like can't get out of bed, force yourself in that moment to just get up and stand up and then get right back in the bed. But just showing yourself you can do it is life changing when you're in that depressive state.

When you just show yourself and start recognizing where you do have control, it will help you out. If you have a situation you want to write in and be featured in the next episode of what would Leo do, I will leave a link in the description where you can go to the midget situation. And it's all anonymous, so don't stress out about that. I will also leave the link to all of my social medias. I did join Snapchat and I'll be on there because they feel to be paying me good. But I'll also link down below to all of my social medias. I did join Snapchat and I'd be on there because they feel to be paying me good But I'll also link down below my merch and my app and everything else you need for me

So go check that out. All right. That's all I got for this episode if you liked it Let me thumbs up and all that you know the deal with the five star rating, you know that shit Yeah, you know, you know, but everybody be safe take care of yourself and I will talk to you guys next Sunday But everybody be safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday.