Aware & Aggravated - 88. Losing People To Boundaries, Fixing Toxic habits, & Feeling Like An Option (WWLD)

Episode Date: August 6, 2023

In this episode of What Would Leo Do, Leo talks about setting boundaries without losing people, fixing toxic habits, & never feeling like an option again. ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/...📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positiv...Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de... 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/85129... 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

Hi friends, this week we're doing a what would Leo do? That's where you guys write in an ask for advice, cause you know, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you, or I'm gonna give you a perspective that you need. So, let's just jump into this, cause I'm very excited, and I'm ready to run my mouth. Okay, so the first person said, do I quit my job, even if I know it'll make people upset?

All I have to say about this, if you're working a job that you don't like and you're considering quitting, but you know, people are gonna be upset and maybe miss you when it might be a little chaotic. Who do you care more about being upset? Other people or yourself? Which one doesn't sit right with you? The fact that you don't like your job for whatever reason and you want to leave, are you okay with you being uncomfortable?

Or are you more okay with other people being uncomfortable? Because you leave. Because if you're over here working a job that you don't like and you're uncomfortable working it, does that matter more? Or does people being upset that you're leaving matter more? You know what I'm gonna tell you to do? Quit the damn job.

But the other thing is the people you're worried about being upset by you quitting. If they truly care about you, they're going to want you to do what makes you feel better. And if it's leaving, then they're going to want that for you. They're going to be in support of it for you. But also if they hate their job too, and they see you get the balls to leave, you might inspire them to leave and leave a situation that makes them uncomfortable also that they don't like. So you might be leading by example by leaving. And you might be looking at it like, oh I'm gonna cause all these people pain and hurt all these people because I leave. Okay, so be

it. It's probably for all your best interests because you might lie to fire under everybody's ass. Oh no. Okay, the next person said my boyfriend cheated on me with my bestie when I faced him he told me she is like my sister. You didn't say if you confronted your friend or not you better not still be friends with her because fuck both these people. But just based off of your boyfriend's response of being called out for cheating or like confronted about it if he's over, no, she's like a sister to me. He's too far gone. He's not someone that can handle the responsibility

of you coming to him and being like, why did you do this thing? He can't even stand there and have the balls to say, yup, I did it. He's over here gonna try and gaslight you further. He's looking for other explanations to avoid the pressure and avoid the responsibility of owning up to what he did. If he cheated on you with your best friend, and that's his response,

he's too far gone. That's a close case, baby. You need to just go ahead and get the hell out of there. Just leave him alone, stop talking. He's just gonna make you feel insane. He's gonna gaslight you. He's too focused on throwing crap at you and saying things to you and doing things that are solely to get the pressure off of him where he doesn't have to own up to what he did. So I honestly wouldn't even say to talk about it any further. Okay, you're still gonna go with this narrative?

Have fun with it. And scoot him off your little desk, like this. This is what you do with him. Here he is. Done. Handled. And he can go lay down there with the bitch he cheated with. Okay? You're done with both of them. Love you. I'm sorry too. I do want to say I'm sorry because that's a lot. You lost two people who were very close to you from up a trail. So damn, I'm sorry that you're going through that. But you're gonna be just fine. Just throw him off like that. Just like I did. Don't go away! Trash! Not even the recycle bin. Just straight up garbage.

Throw him in it, put him down the trash shoot and be done with it. Alright, the next person said, my ex left me to explore options. I want him to get karma and I want to move on. Babe, losing you was his karma. I want him to get karma and I want to move on. Babe, losing you was his karma. Just make sure he never can come back. Do not ever like entertain anything with him getting access to you again. I promise that's the karma because he's over here

comfortable with you. If you're a genuine asked person and you truly cared for him and wanna what was best for him and you supported him and you were there for him and you were such like like key component to him feeling good and having a good life and you wanted to do nothing but help him. Like if you were just pure support like that, he's over here got comfortable with it and convinced himself, oh maybe there's other options. If you are genuine like that, dating

you just gave him this false confidence he can find better. Being cared for by you made him think he's better than he already is. Humble that bitch. Do not ever let him talk to you again. I don't mean it lightly when I say cut people off. Cut them off. I'ma see you in the afterlife, maybe.

My grudges are never gonna die. I don't care what goes on what happens. My soul is gonna be pissed off of people forever. I'ma hold that grudge even when never going to die. I don't care what goes on what happens. My soul is going to be pissed off if people forever. I'm a whole that grudge even when I'm in hell. But your access to me in this physical life, no more. Maybe go have fun with your other options and I'm going to help you realize his karma was losing you.

Like when you have a genuine solid person in your life and you fuck around and lose them or you don't appreciate them Every person he meets after you, he's gonna be comparing to you He will literally run himself stupid and that's why everyone who plays around with me is cursed I'm a curse to me. You're never gonna find nobody like me again No one is ever gonna make you feel the way that I make you feel and if you are that for him Every single person that I don't talk to anymore, every single new person they meet is left with that

void, not one person can fill. I'm a big motherfucker. I will leave a big void in your life when I leave it. And I'm not talking just about physically. I'm talking about the whole goddamn package. It's gonna take about 10 people to replace one of me. And I want you to have that confidence by recognizing your own value and how important you were to him. Just sit there and relish in it. Like just enjoy it, marinate in that. He's experiencing his karma.

He's gonna experience it the rest of his life. If you were a genuine person who cared about him, he's gonna be looking for you and all these other people. And if one girl has something that you also had had she don't got all the other 10 things that you had to go with it. He's got his karma. He's gonna live it the rest of his life. If he does find better, oh damn bitch. I don't know. Hit up with the car. I did go look at this girl's page because she sent it to me on Instagram. Babe, you're so fucking cute. Do not even stress about shit.

Like I can tell you're just like a genuine little bitch. And that's why I went about this, this route, because I can tell by your energy and by looking at you, he's living his karma. Just hear my words and just remind yourself of that. The rest of his life, living his life without you is his karma. Trust.

That's what makes me feel so much better about people that I don't talk to anymore, like certain X's. I'm like, good luck. Like good luck in this life. You're set up for a life of disappointment after me. Sorry. Oh, I like this one.

Okay, it's a little like, gossipy, little T. So this person said, my girlfriend doesn't want me to dorm with someone. I knew in high school because he's gay. I'm straight Very valid fucking concern from the girlfriend. Loki. I want to have her back fully and I'm gonna give you kind of like an Explanation because you see your perspective and you know your side your girlfriend sees a whole other aspect She knows the mind of a gay man because women and gay men, we share certain thought processes and kind of like

mind sets around certain things and the way that gay men are or how a lot of women are. So the thing that your girlfriends worried about is this person you're dorming with, there's a possibility, even if you're straight and he's gay. Some people, if they like you, are just never gonna let it the fuck go. They're never gonna throw away the chance or the hope that something might happen. He might be sitting around waiting on you to get drunk one night and come home and try and make a move. He might just be sitting around waiting for you in a place of vulnerability to pounce

basically. And your girlfriend is aware of that. A lot of girls are like that and a lot of gay men are like that. It's very weird and it's tricky to navigate. But your girlfriend's concern is very much valid. Don't invalidate her. If you are dead set on roaming with this boy, you need to ask your girlfriend what would make her feel more comfortable about it? And she also needs to develop some kind of relationship with this guy you're wanting to move in with the gay one. So I'm the gay one in this situation. And I'm gonna tell you how I kind of navigate this

as this perspective so you can understand it better. Because there's definitely something already going on that your girlfriend's worried about that she's picking up on that you might not be seen. Because with all of my straight friends, all my friends are fucking hot. Sorry, like all the boys are cute. So my girlfriends all have no fear that I will ever hook up with their boyfriends because they know that I respect their relationship.

I've made it very clear. There's clear boundaries I fucking flirt with these dudes. We like gay joke back and forth like I call my best friend Mikey my boyfriend To broke like they're both my boyfriend and my girlfriend like they're both straight They're in a relationship, but like we all joke around. We laugh. We cut up like we make gay jokes But we are only comfortable making those jokes. And me being like, oh Mikey's my boyfriend, I'm a steal him from you brook, because they know there's no possibility of it, because I've said too brook, in front of Mikey, even if Mikey came to me tomorrow and said he wanted to hook up with me, he might be into guys,

I would never do it. Mikey's my type to a goddamn teeth. Like fully my type as a dude. But I'm someone who's very loyal to who I care about. I care about them both, but I've literally said to Brooke, even if Mikey came to me and wanted to hook up, I would not do it and I would not make a pass and I wouldn't even entertain it because my loyalty is to you.

I will never disrespect you like that. I will never betray you and go after your boyfriend even if he comes to me. I will never disrespect you like that. I will never like betray you and go after your boyfriend even if he comes to me. That's not how I roll. But by communicating that, we are all free and safe to be comfortable and do whatever the hell we want to do with each other. Like joking wise we do anything. Like there's no tension, there's no awkwardness. If me and Mikey have to go like sleep in the same bed or something broke nose nothing's gonna fucking happen Like I will never let it happen if that makes sense So I just wanted to bring that up because it's a weird and tricky thing to navigate

But your girlfriend's concern is very much valid because of how gay men are a lot of people in this life And in this world nowadays do not have morals. They do not have character They're good for shit and if they get an opportunity to fuck you, they will. So this boy, he might just be sitting back waiting. He might, that is a possibility that he's waiting on an opportunity to like, have you vulnerable and then go forward with it. But there's also a possibility that he has no interest in you like that. And he would never play something.

But your concern here is your relationship with your girlfriend and making sure she feels okay because she's going to be impacted by the decision you make to room with him or not. You want to make sure she's safe and comfortable and you use to ask her what you can do to make her feel more at ease with the situation. You know, okay, this one I might have to hurt your feelings a little bit. But someone said I end up obsessing over guys very easily and pretty fast. And they just see me as an option. What the hell is wrong with me? So there might not actually be anything wrong with you. There might just be something wrong with what you're doing and how you're acting with these guys. If they just see you as an option, are you acting like an option? Are you

allowing them to treat you like an option? Are you doing anything that is contributing to the way you're being treated by people and being seen by people? Like an option. So that's step one to kind of check yourself. Hey, are you doing anything? Are you the problem? Sometimes we are. But I also want to encourage you to look at this from a kind of like self-value standpoint of, do you actually see yourself as something worth being cared about more than an option? What is preventing you from seeing that someone might actually look at you, see you, and

choose you, and not look at you like you're just an option? You need to look at your resistance to being seen as who someone would want and just seeing you and someone being sure about you because your value is so obvious in front of their face. Look at what thoughts you might be thinking that are making you kind of like feel like an option. Like once you get grounded and see things about yourself where you're like, yeah, I would be someone's first fucking choice. There is no option about it. I want you to get to that level of confidence because the way you wrote this, there's a little bit more to it.

I just kind of like summed it up. But there's a little, there's little things that you said in this, but just by the wording I can tell, there's a little bit of insecurity. But one more thing to look at is stop going after guys that have options. Go after somebody who's very not impressed because you don't want to be on that What's that show with the Rose where it's like all these people up at the front and it's like oh they just have options You you not you you it's like don't don't ever be on someone's roster don't allow for that Stop going for people that have options and entertain a lot of people you want someone who entertains you

If you want to stop feeling like an option stop going to people who have options And there's a difference between someone having options and someone entertaining a lot of people because I have a Shit ton of options. Do I entertain any of them? No, I don't give two fucks I'm not impressed as soon as someone comes along that impresses me. They're my only choice I don't play the options game. I don't play the whole entertaining multiple people. I'm busy. All right, I'm tired. Sick everything and everybody. All right, the next person said my ex just posted his new girlfriend and I'm a wreck. I thought I was over it. It's been months.

Situations like this are a lot bigger than people think. So the first thing I want to say is when you miss someone or your emotional over something, it doesn't mean you're not past it. So you being upset by your ex-posting who's new girlfriend, don't make that mean, don't put the label on it that, okay, you're not over it. You very much can be over it and still have emotions. You're a human being, it's normal. Being over something doesn't mean you feel nothing. That's very Unachievable to kind of go after but the biggest thing with this is there's a weird subconscious thing that happens with X's and when they get with someone new Everyone's kind of fucked up by it unless you hate your X like me. I hate him. I

Want to say so many things right now, but I can't. I hope he gets with a hundred more people. Because like I said before, your curse is never getting me again. So like every single person you meet, it's gonna cause you more pain. So I'm enthralled by it. I'm over here like living for it. But not about me. Let's get back to you. So your ex posted his new girlfriend. When you guys broke up and you've both been single, there's this weird open door. It's like cracked a little bit of you don't fully subconsciously think it's over. Like you still feel a little bit comforted by the fact that he seems a little accessible and he's kind of there. But when your ex gets with a new girl, that door is fully shut. There is no more

option of getting back together. It's like that chapter is now officially closed. So you might have thought you were over it and you've processed everything that is the process. This was just like a final chapter of like there there is no coming back, there is no get back together, there is no nothing. So don't freak out, don't think anything's gone wrong, don't think you're not over it. This instance of him getting a new girlfriend and posting about it just marks the foreshore like,

this is dead, this issue's done, the relationship is over, like there is no like, get back, go back for the foreseeable future. If they break up and you want to get back together, I don't give a fuck. Do what you want to do. But I'm saying for now, I guess this is the explanation behind your emotion and why you feel kind of like triggered or like not past it because it marks the end. Like this is the official end and it's not lingering in your subconscious anymore. Like it's done now.

You're experiencing a little bit of a loss. So you being upset is normal. But I promise this is gonna pass. And a week from now, you'd be like, me? And not really care. You'll be on your way doing your thing, living your happy little life.

Don't stress. All right, then I express and said, how to set boundaries when you're afraid of losing people. I'm a validate that fear for you. That is a very valid fear for you to lose people once you set boundaries, because that is a possibility. But when you kind of get introduced into the world of setting boundaries, a lot of people just get scared and they assume that it's going to come to conflict and lead to a lot of people just get scared and they assume that it's going to come to conflict and lead to a lot of ends of relationships and friendships and you're

just going to be losing people left and right. You might, but also this fear that you have of losing people is very valid, but that's only one side of the coin. The other side, I want you to imagine you go to somebody and you talk about things you like and you don't like and your preferences and you set up some boundaries for ways you want to be treated, certain things you want to do and not do, and they literally look at you and say,

okay, and everything's fucking fine. Like, there is two sides of the coin and if you're just expecting a negative reaction, that's just gonna make you freak out and be scared and kind of like halt the process of you setting boundaries. But when you understand you just have not experienced someone like holding space for you and caring about you and being compatible to you and not just walking away when you express something about yourself, a boundary, you're gonna have both experiences. You will have both, but you are gonna have someone fully respect everything that you say and care about you and want to

respect those boundaries to keep you in their life. They're gonna accommodate you and until you experience that, you're going to be worried, you're going to be scared. But what I want you to know is walking into every situation where you express a boundary, it could go either way. So don't just be worried, it's going to go bad. It could also go very good. And you could become tighter and closer with this person because the more you express about yourself with boundaries or authenticity and being authentic is part of setting boundaries. So when you're on this whole journey, people are getting to meet you on a deeper level and they're getting to know you more and no other sides of you that you haven't talked about before. Even

if it's something as small as like, oh, you've been pretending you like Mexican food forever and you just like suck it up and deal with it and they've just thought that you're okay with it for so long and then one day you're like, you know what? I'm actually gonna stand on what I feel and voice that I don't like that shit Like I just don't prefer this kind of food and then you never have to go eat it with this friend again Like they're gonna be like, oh my god, no like no big deal. That's actually happened to me like someone hated sushi And we'd always go get sushi and they were like I just wanted to like hang out I'm like, I just thought we always always go get sushi and they were like, I just wanted to like hang out and like, I just thought we always had to get sushi. And I was like, girl, I want to know if you don't like something or if you're

uncomfortable. I'm fine with eating anything. I would have picked it up from rest tomorrow. Like when someone cares about you, they're not going to want you to be uncomfortable or to suffer. So like, if my friend is over here, like, won't like disgusted by sushi and they're forcing themselves to eat it to hang out with me. Growing up somewhere else, we like, no problem at all. So when you have an interaction like that where you express a balance and someone is welcoming and accepting and respectful of it, you're going to become less fearful.

And you're the first time it happens, you're going to feel very validated. Like you're not hard to love and you're not asking for too much and you're not inconvenient. As soon as you have someone who can care for you, the way you need to be cared for, all the questioning goes out the window and all the fear of this shit goes out the window because someone holding space for you and being like, no, that's totally fine. You not liking all these things and you actually liking all these things is totally okay. It's gonna change everything. But just remember that can happen and it will happen. You're gonna line up with it. So don't be scared to set your little boundaries. Okay, I promise it's gonna go better than you think. Alright, the next person said knowing you are capable, but being paralyzed by the fear of failing. So first thing for you, get clear on what your definition of failure

is. What does failure look like and get very clear about like what this thing is. Like write it down, think about it. Like, okay, this is my definition of failure in this situation. Get clear on it. So it's not so big and like scary in your mind. Like you might just be like, oh my god, I don't want to fail. And you haven't defined what failing is. You're just scared of this thing that you haven't like fully figured out. That's gonna do nothing but hold you back and stress you out. So get very clear on what you think failing is

for yourself in this situation. You said you know you're capable. You just gonna have to goddamn do it. But before we get ahead of ourselves, just get clear on what the failure is. And then look at what is the likelihood of this happening. You said you know you're capable. So how likely is it that this worst case scenario of failure will happen?

Also, the worst case scenario of the failure, get clear on what that would be. What would happen if you did fail? Look through it, walk through it, walk down that path of like, if I do fail, these things would happen. This is how I would feel and these would be the consequences. Can you live with it? Is it really that fucking day? Or can you do it? You know, a lot of people ask me how I deal with anxiety and fear and worry. Walk down that path of what you're scared of. Walk down it. Think down it. Face what you're overthinking. Face what you're worried about. Walk down it because you're gonna see, hey, it's not only that bad.

And the likelihood of this happening ain't that high. Like at all. So you said you know you're capable. Now act like it. Act like you know you're capable. Like you just said, you got this shit. Alright, this next one is very fitting to what I'm kind of going through right now because I told you guys I had to fire somebody in my last episode that I was working closely with. But this person said, how to not bring toxic traits into a healthy relationship.

So I'm gonna kind of hit this from like what I'm going through but it's gonna apply to your situation too. So if you're in a new relationship and you were in a toxic one before, you have to realize this is an opportunity to do things completely different. You have to learn this new person, you have to learn how things are gonna go, what communication is gonna be like, and how you're gonna express your feelings, and what's going on. Like you need to understand this as a whole reroute and a whole learning, a whole new situation and a new way of being with someone. If you're used to toxic and you're

trying to go to healthy, it's a whole shift. It's a whole change. So like me with my new manager, I have a whole way I've been doing things. I have a whole way of how I've been communicating with my old manager and how we did things. My new manager, we've had multiple discussions about how things are going to go, and we've had to lay down a lot of like expectations, ways we're going to communicate, and like we've had to pivot, and we've had to get clear about how we're going to work together from a business standpoint. So with a relationship, talk about how things used to be, talk about what you're used to and how things went and why it didn't work and what you didn't like about it.

Then you can game plan what you're gonna do different. So me with my new manager, we have a whole new way of communicating that I'm not used to yet. I'm still learning how to navigate situations with this new person and with this new communication and work style. But by talking about what you were in before and how

it's changed now, you have to give each other the grace to learn and kind of like get used to this new way of being. So me and my little situation with my new manager, I'm a micromanager. I am the type person who's anxious and I'm very hands-on and hands in everything. Like I'm used to being the one that has to make sure everybody's doing what needs to get done and double checking and following up and triple checking like everything everyone does so it doesn't go wrong or like fuck up. So this person I'm with now is someone who is way more capable than I am in certain business aspects.

And me checking in and following up and double triple checking everything is not efficient. Because it wears me out and it fucks up the process of what he's already working on. I'm having to learn how to trust someone to do what they say they're gonna do and handle it. This is not someone I have to micromanage and I have to adjust and learn how to work with this person. I'm used to always having to deal with people who I need to micromanage and follow up with and check on and like kind of like point the fucking finger and tell them what to do.

This is a whole new way of being for me and working. So while I'm adjusting to this, there's been multiple times where he's like, Leo, I've got it. Whenever I check in too much, or I start following up, he's like, you don't have to do this anymore, but he's not mad, and he doesn't take it as an attack, or me kind of insinuating that he's incompetent, and that he needs to be babyed. That's just my old way that I've operated with people that I've had to work with. Like people are fucking dumb and they act like they don't know what they have to do. Grinla, I done told you five times. This one's so good he's telling

me what to do. But that's the thing. By talking about the transition that we're making and how things used to be done and how things are gonna go now, it lets him know that nothing is an attack and it's not me purposefully trying to be little hammer talked down or like double check him. So all these emotions are taken out of it. Like when I follow up or when I check on something that I don't really need to be involved in, both of our awareness comes up that this is not something I need to be doing anymore. And he's able to remind me without

being emotionally charged and feeling attacked. I'm like, okay, Leo, this is a situation. I've got this. You don't have to do this anymore. I now have three assistants. He's like, girl, you don't have to do shit. Like, all my people have it. Like, all my people have got this. We're good. We're settled. He's like, as soon as we have an update, you're going to get it from one of these people. You're never going to have to worry about these things again. Do not even reach out and ask other people we're working with for all of this. Like it's going to interrupt our workflow. So me and my team of people I got on you now are going to work with your other team of people and we're all going to communicate.

You don't have to be the one in control all the time and trying to keep everybody sorted. He was like, we're here to keep you sorted. So he's like, I want you to just relax and sit back and know we're handling it all. And that's something you cannot just tell someone like me. You have to show me. And by my new manager and all his assistants following through with what he's said and being on top of things and sending me the updates, I don't feel the need to check in because everything is being followed up with for me. It's just funneling in. Everybody's on top of there. Shit. And that's a learned thing. It has to come over time. But my biggest thing is just taking toxic behaviors from an old relationship. Look at why they were toxic. Look at why you were doing it. if you're constantly going through someone's phone, what need are you

actually meeting by doing that? Like confirmation, certainty, are you feeling insecure and you need something to discredit that? So you go through their phone and make sure they're not doing anything. Now you don't feel insecure. Maybe learn how to ask for reassurance when you need it versus taking it upon yourself to go that certain route. I'll always go through the goddamn phone, but there are ways to communicate the needs that you have.

But this is getting a little bit jumbled. So you guys get what I'm saying. Just understand it's a process to make a transition and to do things different. And you need to have the other person in on everything that you're used to and how you want things to go now. So they can be with you and help you as you adjust and you both can learn and grow together to make this the best possible relationship like me with my new manager. This is the best shit and it's all gone so great, but it requires so much open communication and being patient with each other.

Like when I do put my nose in something, I don't need to be in. He's like, all right, Leo, like you're good. He's able to reassure me because he knows how I am with if I'm not hands in it, everything crumbles. That's been my experience before. I'm at a position now where I'm having to learn how to take my hands out of it and see it all function

and not see anything crumble. But he also knows that's a fear of mine. So he's able to reassure me and calmly make sure everything's going good, like everything's fine. But you have to give someone that ability to be there for you. You got to explain how they need to be there for you and what things need to happen. So that's my biggest tip with not bringing old patterns and unhealthy behaviors into a new situation, like a healthy relationship. It seems a lot more difficult

than it is, but it's really not. It's real simple, but you gotta be honest about the way you feel. Okay. All right, the next person wants advice on trying to stay positive after the loss of someone close to you. And from my experience, what I'm gonna tell you is, if you've just lost someone, do not try and be positive. Do not try and look for positivity fucking anywhere. That's the opposite of what you're feeling right now. Your life was just turned upside down. Like, your life was you knew it just ended.

And for you to be over here to be like, oh, you need to be positive. What the fuck? No, uh-uh. That's unneeded energy going towards something that's not achievable. Your main focus right now needs to be adjusting to this new life without this person,

whether they died or they left you or whatever it is. Your whole life as you knew it just wiped out. Like you're in a whole new birth of something new and I'm going through it right now with just moving to LA. My whole life was flipped upside down and completely everything I know is gone. Everyone I had around me in Houston is no longer near me and everything I'm doing is brand new.

I'm adjusting to this whole new way of life and it just compounded because I had to get a new manager. So everything I was doing business wise, the people I was used to talking to and communicating with day to day, everyone in my life is different now. It's all new people. I'm in a whole new environment with all new people

I'm trying to work with. When I feel overwhelmed or I feel a little disoriented, that's very much fucking normal. I don't need to be over here like, oh, I need to think positive about it. No, you're allowed to be a little confused. You're allowed to be disoriented. You're allowed to be scared and heartbroken and sad

about what you've just lost. You've experienced a loss. Do not try and bypass that by being positive. Like, don't get trapped in it for too long. But while you're adjusting, don't be trying to force yourself to be happy with something. You don't know if you're happy with yet. You're still learning and adjusting to this new life and this new way of life. So give yourself a little piece and give yourself a little grace to get adjusted.

And then you can kind of like focus on flipping it and being more positive and looking for the good in the situation because right now there is none. Where you are right now if you just lost someone, if someone has just died, there is no good to be found. Stop wasting your energy trying to look for it, be sad for a goddamn minute. Be there for yourself, get adjusted, get oriented, and then it's a slow transition. You're not going to stay stuck in the pit of like sadness and hopelessness forever. The light's going to start shining again. You're going to start feeling better.

It's just natural. And you'll know when it's time to call yourself on your own shit and start forcing your focus on what's good and positive and what you have. But right now you need to spend some time accepting what you just lost. Okay, so don't stress too much about trying to look for the positive, you'll know when. Okay, the next person needs advice on getting played. Let me call you out real quick because a lot of people talk about getting played, but you kind of play yourself. So that's the first thing to look at. Are you playing yourself,

were there any signs or anything going on that led to you feeling played or led to the end of something like were you just not picking up on the hints or that someone actually fully blatantly lie to you and make you feel cared about and do everything right and then flip? Like which one was it?

Were you just like going along with this sort of like half-fast energy hoping it was going to become something and convincing yourself of a delusion of like, this person likes me, but they're giving me the bare minimum? And then when they don't actually want you or they cut it off, you're like, ah, you played me. It's like, did they actually play you? Did they fully lie to you about how they felt about you and how they were treating you in flip it? Or were you just in dilululand, not paying attention to what's really going on? Because that's two different things for me to tell you and give you advice about actually being played versus playing a guy damn self

because you didn't want to be aware. You wanted the feed-ins of the dilusion of like, oh no, no, it's great. It's great when it wasn't. But I'm not just going to leave it there. So if you actually did get played, like I said before about losing someone, get through that period before you try and focus positive, but a way to focus positive after getting played is you are now aware of what getting played looks like. You're now aware of red flags to look for. You're aware of how it feels. You're aware of so many things now and you have so much more to be cautious about and look for to spot this shit before you get hurt again. So don't be scared of going into another relationship or another friendship or another anything. If you've just been played, you've just been educated. So you now know what to look for. You now know what not to do and who not to fuck with.

Your intent is are heightened, okay? So listen to them. Don't go around life being scared to get into new things because you just got played and you're worried it's always gonna happen. Mm-mm, your power lies in that. You were just made aware of what it's like to be played. You know exactly what to look for and have a preventative from happening again. So don't make the same mistake twice, learn from that shit and use it to your advantage. Look for all the awareness you just got. Alright, the last person said, my biggest pet peeve is being interrupted and makes me feel

so unimportant. What are your tips for addressing it? So if someone is interrupting you a lot, let them fucking speak. Like I hate being interrupted too, but if you're talking about something, and someone is constantly just like chiming in or like saying something, it's like, I know we're sitting here like,

what the fuck up? But a lot of times people just wanna be heard. And you might be talking about something that makes someone very excited. So someone's very excited and just like interjects. They might just want to be heard and then we just be excited about what's going on. But if you're dealing with someone who is interrupting you repetitively and like consistently and you're just sick of it, I think the best way to address it because I hate when I see videos of people being like, oh, I'm not done talking. Or like, can I finish?

Like, I hate when people act like that. So what I'd say is like, fully let them get their peace out. Like, just sit there or like give body language. Like if someone interrupts you, and they'll get the hint, and if they don't, let them go on their whole tangent about whatever they're saying. And then just look at them when it gets quiet.

And they're gonna be like, why aren't you saying anything? And just be like, I was just making sure you were done. That's gonna like, fuck with their head a little bit. And then when you go to talk, they're gonna kind of be humbled and be like, and let you finish what you're saying

or let you interject. But also, someone that might just not want to hear what you have to say. So really just gauge the situation and read it. And if someone's constantly interrupting you and you're just sick of it, you can call it out in certain ways, but you might just want to distance yourself.

And if someone asks like, oh, why don't you talk or why don't you say anything, you can also use this to test kind of how aware someone is. If you just stop talking and give them a chance to notice. And then if they ask you, like why aren't you saying anything or like, are you alright? Like, give them a chance to like be socially aware. See if they can read a fucking room and be like, check in and on. You're like, like, why aren't you talking, why aren't you saying anything? And then you could say something like, I was just letting you get it all out. Cause like, I could tell, like, every time I go to

talk, you're like jumping in with stuff. So I was just letting you get it out. You could say something like that. And the whole thing, I test people a lot. And I still have to do my podcast episode about ways that I test people, but that's one. Because if you shut up when someone keeps interrupting you and they don't notice and they just keep talking unaware, can't read a room, I wouldn't talk to them again. But if you shut up and they notice it and they're aware of your change in behavior and they check and voice it and say, why aren't you talking or like, like, what do you think? Like unless they're gonna like provoke or ask or respond to you, they ain't noticing it. So, a couple little tips wrapped up in that one.

If you have anything you wanna ask me for advice on, I will leave the link in the description to submit your situations, my little what would Leo do for him. And it's all anonymous, so don't stress. But if you send it on Instagram, it's not anonymous. But if you send your situation to the link that's in the description, I don't know who it is.

Let's just put your name. But if you like this video, leave it a thumbs up if you're watching it on YouTube. And if you're listening to the audio version, five stars, what would Leo do? Leo would give five stars. All of my social media will be linked in the description where you can keep up with me.

And I've been posting a lot more on Snapchat because they pay me. They run on me a bag. So I'm posting a lot more of my day toto-day on Snapchat if you guys want to see it And I also just be posting little rants here and there because I can't post them anywhere else But Instagram TikTok everything will be down below all my merch my app positive focus Everything is gonna be in the description to go check it out But that's all I got for this episode. I love all of you. I just want to say I love you guys dead

So that's it everybody stay safe Take care of yourself go eat something good. I know. We'll talk to you guys next Sunday