Aware & Aggravated - 89. I Quit Smoking. How To Take Control of Yourself

Episode Date: August 13, 2023

In this episode Leo gives you his process for how he quit smoking cigarettes and the mindset he uses to remain unshakable. There are some harsh truths in this one, but even more tips to help you take control of yourself in any aspect of life. ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/...📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positiv...Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de... 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/85129... 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

Oh, I need to move that. Hi friends, I'm sick. Again! Let me blow my nose real fast before we get started. Alright, this episode, oh fuck a lamb babe. Okay, hi, so I quit smoking. And I'm gonna basically teach you in this episode how to take control of yourself. Because a lot of people act like they're gonna die if they don't have a stick of it.

You're gonna be just fine. No, but this is not just gonna be about smoking. So this is gonna be about taking control of yourself just in life in general. Everything I talk about with quitting nicotine and everything else that I quit, it's all gonna be applicable to basically self-controlling all areas. So even if you're not a smoker and you're not trying to quit smoking, this will still be very helpful. Just use it and apply everything to your situation. So let's just jump into this. I'm gonna tell you about my love story with cigarettes.

I'm wheezing. Like this is not good. You see? My body's getting rid of everything. But I am sick. And a lot of people think that I have like these symptoms and a cold from quitting. It's not the smokers flu. I got sick and then I decided to quit.

Like I just got double whammyed. So I was smoking, I'm gonna be real honest. I was smoking from half a pack to a pack of cigarettes a day. And last December I did quit. Was it November or December? I don't remember. I quit for like 30 days last year at the end of the year just to see if I could.

And I did, and it wasn't that bad. So I just wanted to quit to see if I could and then I just started smoking again because I just loved it. Like, to just have a cigarette and nothing like it. Oh, but I was smoking like two to three cigarettes a day. And then over time, it's just gotten more and more. And it's now, it was like a half a pack,

mm, most likely a pack a day. But I completely got off vaping. And then a couple of months ago, I started vaping again because cigarettes are very much inconvenient with my lifestyle. And it started like someone gave me a vape. And I was like, wow, I missed this. It's nice, easy, accessible, no and I was like wow I missed this. It's nice easy accessible

No, stink like it's just easy So I was like just fell back into the habit of vaping and then I started buying them and that just is downhill so I started like vaping and smoking and when I moved to LA I was like look I'm done vaping like I can so it's cigarette, but I'm done with the vaping. Like, if it's, if you're gonna smoke, make it a little bit inconvenient. I was like, vaping gotta go. So when I moved to LA, I was like, no more vaping, you're done.

So I was just smoking cigarettes and babe, this whole mood is more stressful than anything. I was at a packet day for a while. And until I quit, that's where we were at. Like, have a pack to like a packet day. It depends how busy I was But I just love the vibe of it like smoke and cigarette. It's just so me Yeah, like it was just the fun thing to do like it was a fun and like tivity

It was like a minute to like come back to myself. This is all the delusions. I told myself I was like it's a moment to come back to myself and just chill for a second Now, but it really did help me in social situations because if I got tired of something or I got overstimulated or I got tired of talking to somebody, oh, I'm gonna go smoke. Excuse me. And I'm gonna go step outside, get away from everybody and have me a little cigarette. It was more like just an excuse to kind of like go chill out for a second. And it did help me in a lot of social situations.

And I'm still gonna lie and say, oh, excuse me, I'm gonna go have a cigarette. People are gonna be like, Leo, you don't smoke. Shut up, they don't have to know that. Leave me alone. It's just a good little escape route. I liked it and I'm still gonna use it. I'm not gonna smoke, I'm just gonna use the saying,

hey, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. But this is gonna sound mad, weird, but like inhaling something, it's so comforting. Like, when I would inhale, smoke, or evape, it's like getting a little hug from the inside. And I'm someone who, like I'm highly sensitive, I feel a lot and I feel everything. And I need a lot of comfort.

And I'm not comforted often by people and I like a little hug and I like to be comforted and I'm Not usually comforted by people like I'm the big tough strong one everybody like I take care everybody else I make sure everybody else is okay. I comfort everybody else. So I just need to get better at asking for comfort, which I am now, because I don't have a cigarette. You're gonna give me a goddamn hug. But that was a big thing, is like it was just like a pacifying behavior and also consistency.

Like y'all know my life is an upheaval. Like I just moved everything I'm doing business-wise, life-wise. It's all brand new different. Like I have no consistency in my life. Every day I wake up with something new something different New thing on the calendar new meeting new this new that I'm just like whatever like at this point I've just I'm good at writing like the rollercoaster of life like there is no Getting it stable getting it consistent. I just have to get better at surfing the waves like there's no calming them down

I'm just becoming a better surfer to get better at surfing the waves. Like there's no calming them down. I'm just becoming a better surfer. But with that, cigarettes were like my main consistency. It was like my only physical thing that was like stable in my life. Like whenever I needed it, I could have it. Whenever I was going through stuff, it was there.

So I would lean on it, I would have it. It was like a weird psychological relationship I had with it. But the biggest delusion I had with this is I thought cigarettes were making me energized and more productive. I felt like cigarettes gave me a little boost and allowed me to continue and keep going and do more stuff. Huh? From the way I was looking at things, it literally makes full sense why I would continue smoking. I was willing to take the negative impact to my health for the positive boost of energy and boost of comfort to keep me going.

I convinced myself I needed this to keep going. That's throwing your power away. That's the opposite of what I tell everyone to do. And when I get into the big realization that knocked me upside the head, that made me have to choose my own power again. That's what made me fully quit. But we're gonna get there.

So basically, since I moved to LA, I've been living a very fast-paced lifestyle. I've been business meetings, events, parties, going out, like non-stop. And I've been drinking a lot, I've been smoking more than ever. The point is I've been kind of escaping the way that I've been feeling recently, I've been running from myself, and that's not something I usually do. And then I got sick.

All illnesses are here for a reason, and mine was to wake me up. This little cold came and rocked my ass. Like I've been running from myself and the way that I feel and this cold made me stop. Like I could knock it out of bed the first two days. They made me stop and slow down and just sit with myself and face the things I've been running from. This is why I'm big on accountability. Like you gotta just own the shit and do it. And it sucks, but if you don't, you're gonna end up in a situation like this. Where your body literally knocks you on your ass and forces you to come back to yourself. So when my body finally sat me down and made me sit with myself because I was sick,

I had a little bit of a mental break and I broke the fuck down. Like I kind of started freaking out. I'm like hyperventilating like the whole nine yards. Like very theatrics. It was like a lot and I had to like calm myself down out of a panic attack because I realized a lot about my life. And the reality that I was running from is that I'm unhappy in LA. I don't like my life. I don't like how I've been living. I don't like how I've been feeling. And I feel very disconnected from myself. I was feeling lost and I missed myself, which was weird. But that makes sense because every time I was alone and I wasn't at an event or a meeting or going out, when I was by myself, I was either high

or someone can cigarettes. Like I always had something preventing me from fully being with myself. Like I was constantly under some sort of influence. And you can only do that so long before you do actually start to miss yourself. You're spending no actual time with yourself. Your thoughts are not your thoughts.

They're influenced. Your emotions are not your thoughts, they're influenced. Your emotions are not your emotions. If you're doing things that impact all of this, it's not really you touching base with yourself. Like, it's a little skewed. And the thing that really upset me the most was like facing the fact that I am unhappy with my life in LA. Like I just moved here and I put all this effort and money

Into moving here. It was so goddamn expensive But I put so much into it and like having to admit that I'm not happy is Hard but I'm a hard-hidden bitch. I always like face the truth with myself. I face the reality of everything I like to dish out consequences to other people. I do the same thing to myself. I keep everybody else accountable, and I'm the first one to do it to me too. No one can check me.

I always check myself first. So a new desire came out of this, and it is to have a clear mind, and to come back to myself. Like I wanna stop missing myself, and I want to be able to have a clear mind and to come back to myself. Like I want to stop missing myself and I want to be able to have a clear mind and a more stable mood where all my thoughts, any emotions and decisions come from a place of like nothing influencing it.

I want to be able to trust my judgment, trust my feelings, trust my intuition, which I've been kind of out of touch with, moving forward. Like I missed that. I need to be solid and grounded in myself again. Because admitting I don't like my life means I have to make changes, big ones. And for me to be able to make these changes, I gotta come back to myself first.

So that's when I had to ask myself, what is distracting me from myself? Cigarettes, alcohol, weed. So this is where I talk about taking control of yourself. I understand like my new desire. I want to come back to myself and I want to get more level headed and a consistent mood. I now know all these things that are distractions and that are taking me away from this desire. What's left to do? Am I going to sit here and bitch and complain? left to do. Am I gonna sit here and bitch and complain? I just want to feel this certain way but be doing all this and engaging in all this. That's dumb as fuck.

That's like ironic. What is it called? Not ironic. That's delusional. Like that's powerless. Like if you have this thing you want and you are doing things that are the opposite of it. Babe, that's literally insanity. That's the biggest disconnect for most people. If you know what you want, your actions better be in line with getting you there. I've talked about this many times. That's the key to manifestation and that's the key to taking control of yourself. Get control of your actions that are going to get you to where you want to go.

You're not powerless to your desires. Ask for things of yourself and do them. Do what you can to guarantee getting to what you want. So my thing was cutting out all these distractions. So quitting nicotine, quitting alcohol, weed, gone, done. I decided I'm fucking done with it. Alcohol I will go back to. Okay, I'm just gonna be real fucking on to switch it. I don't want to live without her. That one I like. But okay, I'm just gonna be real fucking honest with you. I don't wanna live without her. That one I like. But everything else I'm not gonna go back to.

I am gonna stay off alcohol for like a month, two months, whatever. I'll go back to it eventually and like casually bring it back in. Cause I like it as like a social little thing. But for the time being, and until I feel stable, and I've made changes, and I'm happy with my life again, I'm not bringing that back in. That's a distraction. But a lot of people don't understand that this is just step one. Quitting the distractions is just step one. I have to first achieve a clear stable mindset. And then from that place, that step two is making all the changes I need to make.

The first part, like just quitting all these things, that's not even the toughest part, making all the changes is. Coming back to myself and clearing my mind, that's one step one, babe. You better buckle in. Another thing I wanted was like to recover from this little cold.

I wanted my health back, you know? So that's another disconnect. If I'm over here sick and I want my health back, why am I gonna be over here smoking? That's an exact contradiction to what I want. You see, now I'm gonna dive into the aspect of quitting nicotine and alcohol, because like other two are easy. Weed and extracurriculars, that's fine.

That's nobody, that's fucking easy. But like nicotine and alcohol, babe, it's never gonna feel like the right time. This is the worst time for me to try and stop doing this. Actually, it's the best time. But if you look at your life and you're trying to make an argument of like, this is not the right time.

The amount of stress I'm under and the things that I'm trying to do, girl. Bad time, I'm managing enough. Imagine like trying to do withdrawals through it and control all these urges and exhaust even more discipline on this, like, but I'm doing it because I fucking decided to. I don't care if it's the wrong time,

but that's the thing. It's never gonna feel like the right time. You're always gonna be able to make an argument of why you should stop next week, why you should stop next week. Why you should stop next month. Next year, there's always gonna be an excuse of why you should wait. Don't. It's never gonna feel like the right time. For me, I got a shits on a party's coming up. Everybody's got a goddamn birthday coming up. Tomorrow night I'm going to my friend Faneeta's party. Everybody's gonna be

drinking having a good time, cigarettes, everything. Nope, that's just one tomorrow. I have like five more in the next two weeks. That's all social gatherings. There's events, there's business dinners, there's all these things or so much alcohol and like nicotine would be involved. And I can sit here and be like, oh, I'll stop in a month. No, I'm stopping. Now, I do not want anything bringing me further away from myself. I'm coming back to me. Like I said before, choose the consequences that get you what you want.

Pick your pain. Because when you are considering stopping a substance, you're in kind of like a lose-lose. It's painful both ways. To continue, that's a pain that you know, but it's kind of like a lose lose. It's painful both ways to continue. That's a pain that you know, but it's kind of familiar and it's like, all right, you're good at managing it at this point. Versus choosing the pain of quitting and dealing with what comes with that. Your end a lose lose. You're gonna be in pain either route. Which one are you gonna choose? Because for me,

to choose to continue smoking and drinking and being in the mindset I've been in and not liking my fucking life I don't wanna keep dealing with what I would deal with at night when I was by myself I didn't like that

it was dark and it was bad and I'm strong enough to fucking deal with anything but I don't wanna have to do that I don't wanna put myself through that. Like that pain is what you're choosing by continuing doing what you're doing. Versus if you quit, you got to deal with the pain of quitting, dealing with the urges, you get over that little hump, the urges go away, you're used to it, then you got to take on also the pain of going to social events, sober,

navigating social situations and having the balls and like facing things head on with no kind of buffer of like liquid courage or like a little anxiety shot, like taking a little shot, you nervous, have a little stick of it. You know, you gotta take on the pain of that, like which pain do you want? Do you want the pain of quitting or you want the pain of what you got to deal with alone at night Which one you want to keep doing the next thing I want to talk about is I want to prepare you for once you do quit I Everything is gonna go wrong. Everything is gonna be a fucking test

It's gonna feel like that everything's just gonna go wrong and you're gonna want to smoke a cigarette more than ever I have wanted to literally eat a pack of cigarettes for the last few days. I think I'm like five days quit smoking. I'm five days off everything. But like the amount of shit that's just ironically gone wrong. Extra when I can't have a cigarette to comfort myself. Oh shit! It's like it's ironic and I just want to prepare you for it. There are going to be things that happen that are going to piss you off. Let me tell you a couple of my first thing. Three of my packages got lost. My dumbass apartment complex lost

three of my packages. One was very expensive. We're still trying to track it down. The second thing. Other packages that I ordered got delivered. All the clothes I ordered were too fucking small. The parachutes that I ordered were already warm. I ordered them brand new from the website. Why am I paying $700 for a pair of shoes? And they come like somebody already fit a fuck them and tried them on. Now I don't like that. Had to send them back. I also ordered a couple of glasses like cups. They came shattered and they were expensive. So I had to return all of that. like cups, they came shattered and they were expensive. So I had to return all of that and then to kick it all off. Today, someone leaked my address. I just joined Equinox a few days ago, like a week ago,

and someone that works there, went in the system, took a picture of my address and posted it. This has me freaking the fuck out. To be quite honest with you. I just want to say like warning to everyone, do not show up to my home. Do not show up to where I lay my fucking head. I am paranoid and very, very protective of myself and my space and anything I do not know or anything that should not be here if it is here I look at it as a threat I don't see a person and I'm gonna handle you like a threat I'm not threatening you for coming to my place I'm just letting you know how me protector Leo will react I'm not gonna meet you with open arms if you show up unannounced to where I live.

I don't want nobody showing up here. I love you all to death, but not at my fucking house. Do not invade that. I'm setting a boundary right now. Telling all you straight up, do not scare the fuck out of me. Do not show up where I live as soon as you scare me. All bets are off. I'm going to fucking prison and I don't

give two shits I'm not gonna be in control I will let myself lose control okay I'm just gonna everybody a fair fucking warning I'm not holding back when it comes to my safety but this has me literally living in ten times more fear than I already like deal with with my paranoia like I'm constantly looking behind my back checking over my. Like I have so many mechanisms on my place to lock it down. I went today and spent a thousand fucking dollars on more security cameras. I had two. Now I have nine. Every square inch of my place is surveillance, the balcony and the entrance and the hallway. Everything is under surveillance now. The emotional state that I'm now in, of not even feeling safe or comfortable in my own home, pisses me off. You know what I want right now?

A fucking goddamn cigarette. You know what I can't have? I've got to do your fucking cigarette. But my whole point with all this, is you're gonna have urges, and things are gonna happen that are gonna make you want to resort back to what you quit. But every time you get an urge, your face with a decision, you are not powerless, you are fully in control, you get to decide

if you're gonna smoke or not, if you're gonna do whatever you quit or not, if you're gonna drink, if you're gonna do like a bump, I don't know. This is when you have to take control of yourself. Every single time you get an urge, I literally today could have been like, this is my last straw I'm smoking.

That's just an excuse. That's just me letting go of control and convincing myself, I'm not stronger than what I'm facing. That's so disempowering to go run back to a fucking cigarette or run back to a coping mechanism instead of running back to myself or my ability to handle it.

You get it? Every time you got to urge, you're faced with a decision. I don't want you to look at it like an urge. I want you to look at it like a decision is to be made. You want this thing. Are you going to do it or are you not? You're in control of it

You are putting the fucking cigarette up to your mouth. You are putting the alcohol up to your mouth. You are in control. You operate your hands Sorry, that's a harsh truth. Nobody likes that one. Same thing with binge eating. You're in control of your fucking hands Now what are you gonna do with them? Remind yourself you're in control and the next thing I want to say Girl, it's a little nicotine craving. Like I keep making fun of myself. I'm like, it's a little nicotine. There's people that are dying, Kim. If you get that reference, I love you. But like, there's where shit going on in the world, babe. There's people who are fucking starving to death can't eat. There's people who are living with god-awful like conditions, medical

conditions, and they're a-okay without a loistic, other people are having to withdraw off things. It's a craving for nicotine, babe. It's not that big of a deal. You're gonna be fine. Give it a week. You're a-okay, babe. After like three days for me, I kind of broke the habit of like waking up having to cigarette on my coffee and smoking throughout the day. It's like I'll chew a piece of gum, I'll drink some water, I'll eat some fruit. There's other shit you can do, there's books you can read, I haven't read none of them, I'm busy, I'm not spending time watching this shit, just having some goddamn self-control,

eat you fucking fruit, drink a little water, come on. But my point is it took three days for me to kind of get out of the habit. Now after those three days like today, when there was a period of extreme stress, that's when I would get the urge to smoke. And like I said earlier with my address and shit getting leaked, but with that I could easily went and smoked, get in, and you shut me there. And one more thing I want to throw on with the nicotine cravings Go you've been through worse. Okay, if you watching me if you resonate with the shit that I say you've been through worse Then want to look sick of it and not get me. Okay, you're fine. You're stronger than that. No act like it This next thing is one thing I've been having to tell myself a lot is your brain and your mind are gonna play games with you

They're gonna see how they can convince you for you to give it to them. Like your little brain and your body, like just look at it like they're just trying to convince you. They're trying to play games with you. Beat them. Don't give into it. Every single time your little brain is convincing you of like, oh, just one isn't that bad. Or I'll stop after this pack, or I'll stop next week. Any little thing your brain tries to tell you, understand, and just tell yourself, this is a game. And do not do it. Like literally become aware that it's a game, become aware of the thoughts going on in your head and a little manipulation tactics you're doing on yourself.

And then as soon as you observe them them you're no longer trapped in them. You're gonna feel a lot more in control and then don't choose it. Proud of you. The next thing is just something I want to say, I've been having to say it to myself, you're gonna have cravings. You're gonna be moody. This is gonna suck. Quitting alcohol, quitting smoking, quitting any of this, it's gonna suck.

And what now? I really have to be a hardass with myself like this. Like okay, you're gonna have the cravings and you have them. Do you have to do anything about them? Now, you're gonna be moody. Okay. This is gonna suck for a little bit. It takes 21 days for you to flip a habit. Okay. 21 days. Ooh. What now? You still gonna quit?

Because you fully can. This is the shit that I've been saying to myself. And I hope y'all are not like super offended by it. But this is the type thing I need to hear. Like, this is the things that I have to scream at myself for my own head. I'm like, hey, yes, self. are dying Kim that's what I keep telling myself That's the clip from when Kim Kardashian dropped her like diamond earring in the ocean and she was like freaking out crying about it

And her sister was like there's people that are dying Kim I will be the bitch crying about my earring too And trying to get about water. It's like No, but seriously that little saying keeps like making me giggle and kind of breaks the seriousness of every time I have a craving Like the whole fiasco with my address getting leaked today One thing is there's a legal battle from hell about to go down But when I was literally I was like so intense and like in it and it was like so serious And I was like oh my god, I want a fucking smoke and I was like this people that are dying Kim It just cracked it and it made it funny and not serious anymore and it like took away like the

Sverity of it like the seriousness of it and I felt like more in control because I made myself giggle There's people that are dying Kim put cigarette down felt like more in control, because maybe myself, giggle. There's people that are dying, Kim. Put the cigarette down. All right, the next thing I'm gonna talk about is my kind of relationship to self-control. And then I'm gonna tell you some improvements.

I've noticed from quitting all these things, but I'm gonna talk about the control thing first. Prepare yourself and my piss you off. Okay, the little dandelions, maybe click away. Cause this one might hurt feelings. but elimination is not self-control So to just get rid of something That's not having control of it having the thing in front of you and still choosing not to do it is Self-control. I still have a carton of cigarettes. I still have all of my lighters

I still have everything where I spend the most time Is in my kitchen and the box is sitting there any moment. I want I can walk over there and grab that shit But I don't I'm not hiding it from myself. I'm not eliminating it. I'm making the conscious choice To not do it every time I see it, because that breeds so much more strength and like, confidence and reassurance in myself of like, nope, I'm not doing it. Like to just completely remove something,

that's not having control over it, because as soon as it's around you again, people kept warning me online when I talked about quitting. Leo, watch out for triggers. I don't give a fuck about a trigger. I got the shit in front of me. What's I talked about quitting. Leo watch out for triggers. I don't give a fuck about a trigger. I got the shit in front of me. What's more triggering than that? I got it in front of me and I'm still saying no. If you actually don't want to be weak when it comes to what you're trying to get rid of, put that shit in front of you daily and

still choose away from it. And might be a little different if it's like a heroin or something. Maybe not like that. But with little pittly, like alcohol, nicotine, weed, girl, well up, that's something that I've learned has really built and like tested my willpower. Like you can't scare me, you can't sway me. Like you can put a pack of cigarettes right here in front of me, you can literally light one next to me. And I'm not hitting it, I don't want it, like I'm not doing, I want it, I mean not like, I want it like a big, but I'm not hitting it. I don't want it. I'm not doing, I want it. I mean, not light.

I want it like a big, but I'm not doing it. I'm not choosing that. I'm not going against myself and what I want. And I'm not getting away from myself because that's what I look at it as now is pushing myself away. And I'm not doing that. Okay, now I want to talk about some of the improvements

that I've noticed because I didn't realize nicotine and alcohol and wheat was like doing this to me. So like, when I wake up in the morning now, I feel energized. I feel like a wake and I feel ready to go. Like I don't feel foggy and like tired like a week ago when I was doing all this. I would literally wake up like a zombie. I literally needed a cup of coffee down my gullet and two cigarettes to literally get me up and like to even think my brain

could work. It's like my little rat running on the wheel up here was not running. Jadim went to wake up so he got his coffee and the cigarette? Like I literally was like at the point where I would smoke my first cigarette and like I was like fuck I need another one before I try and like force myself to go about my day because I have the discipline to push myself through anything but I just was like fuck like I was at a point of like so tire when I was waking up like like getting up, I was like, God damn. Even if I slept for like a while and I was like, well, rest in, like I just couldn't get up. Like I fell so foggy and just weird. So that's been like the biggest improvement

that I'm so happy with. The next thing is I feel like I can breathe and very ironic because I'm sick, but like, I'm sick and I can do that like I was not able to fully breathe in without coughing for Like the last two months like it got rough even though I'm sick I'm like five days off everything, but I already feel so much better and like girl some of the things I've been coughing up I so much better and like girl some of the things I've been coughing up I could chew them like the shit I've been coughing up so nasty I learned in nursing

school when you're when you smoke your Celia in your lungs kind of like goes to sleep it doesn't really dive like it goes to sleep and that's basically what like moves mucus up your lungs and like helps you get it out so when you're smoking that's all kind of like, stop. And when you stop smoking, all of them wake back up and it's like all the shit comes out that you need to cough out. So like my body's like purging.

What needs to come out from smoking, but also being sick, it's just been gross to tell. Like, you know, like the little German commercial was like the little monster, the little mucus. Bunch of him. But I really do feel better already. And the next thing, the little mucus, bunch of him. But I really do feel better already. And the next thing I was not expecting, it's been five days.

My sex drive since I stopped smoking has literally times 10, 10 times, I don't know the fucking terminology. I'm a horny rabbit now. Like I was like not really caring about sex, was not really like sexual, didn't have any like urges, didn't really get horny. Now, I don't know what's in the water.

I don't know what was in him cigarettes. But he's ready to play all the time and I love it. Like I love the feeling of being like aroused and like controlling it and like using that energy to like push me to shit. But I feel more in touch with like my sexual desires and my sexuality and I'm like that's something that was so numbed out for like a good two years. Like I really haven't given a shit about sex.

Like sure it's nice and like I had no problem performing when I have done it. But it's been a year since I've had sex with somebody. But like I genuinely just haven't had the urge. But now it's like, it's all waking back up and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, cool it. But that's really nice. I miss that feeling and I shouldn't be 25 years old, not wanting to fuck like a rabbit. You know, the other thing I feel is a lot more emotionally stable because things are not constantly impacting my mood.

Like I wake up and it's like me. Like when I'm thinking, when I'm feeling, when I'm tapping into my intuition, when I'm just doing things, it's me. Like there's not a cigarette, there's not a shot, there's not weed, there's not anything. Like it's just me. And I feel like so like just solid again. Like I don't feel so fragile and like emotional and sensitive and like ups and downs it's more just like

grounded and I love it like it's been five days what am I gonna turn into in a month? Fuck it's our manator part two. The other thing I've been missing a lot is my intuition and I felt very like checked out of it and like disconnected from myself and my spirit guides and like the universe and like energies I felt very like checked out of it and like disconnected from myself and my spirit guides and like the universe and like energies I'm very sensitive to them and I can feel them and I'm very very intuitive and I haven't really felt That and like I haven't felt connected to that kind of like aspect of me For like a month and a half two months when I moved to LA like before I moved to LA It was kind of like that but like after being here. It's like that shit was like shut off and

It's like waking back up again like it's not full throttle like it was but like my intuition is coming back My sensitivity to energies and like just knowing shit I'm not supposed to know is coming back. I love it. I feel more in tune with myself and other people. I'm just eating it up over here. I'm happy dick. And the last thing is I don't feel so overwhelmed. Like for the past like few months, honestly since February, like January, February,

I've been so overwhelmed by everything going on and it's just gotten worse and worse and worse and stacked and stacked. And I felt like I was drowning in overwhelm for like the past few months, especially like, especially two months. Like the last two months, I feel like I've been drowning in overwhelm. And I'm under the same amount of pressure and having to deal with the same amount of things. But by feeling more stable and grounded,

I feel more capable of executing and handling things So I don't feel so overwhelmed like I'm fully confident in my ability to handle stuff So I don't feel as overwhelmed anymore like when I was moody and up and down and all of this and that like it's insane What five days has done like I'm so excited to just see like how things progress? But like oh my god Five days has done. Like I'm so excited to just see like how things progress. But like, oh my god. 10 out of 10, highly recommend. But the last little note I wanna leave this on

is like the confidence piece. It's kind of like boosted my confidence that I'm being more selective with what I put in my body and I've taken like a way more active approach to my health. Like this is kind of like rock to me and jolted me I'm like, hey, you need to stop playing around with your health and get serious about it like this whole sickness plus all this like Your body's very fragile like it's very resilient, but it's also very fragile and you need to take care of it like your health There's nothing to play with and especially with smoking like my voice is my career. I got to be able to talk my shit. You know, I don't want to be smoking and have that damage that. Like,

I want to be able to talk for a long time. But just taking myself more serious and taking better care of my body and not letting bad things into it, like I've become a picky asshole with everything. I am more picky and selective and I do treat my body better and it makes me feel like I'm taking more serious And I feel like I care about myself more because I'm not doing things that are like damaging me, you know? And that's honestly overall led to like more confidence and also confidence with social situations Like tomorrow night when I'm going to that party. I'm rather on it. I'm just going into it and I don't have anything I'm going to that party. I'm raw doggin' it. I'm just going into it.

And I don't have anything like substance wise to help me out. And it's like the more events I do and the more parties I go to, I've done this before. But not recently. The more things you do sober, the more you're gonna see the skills you have and how adaptive you are. And how you are able to handle everything

that kinda comes up. Like it's just you. You got it. And like as you keep showing yourself, confidence is going to stack. I've been through this before, so I can speak on it, but I can feel it coming back. And I'm like, yes, I'm so excited. So if you've been looking for a sign to quit,

quit smoking with me, quit drinking with me, whatever it is, quit the weed, quit the extra curriculars. All your power lies within you, and that's my biggest thing is teaching people back to that. So, look for the power in yourself and you got this shit. I am posting updates every single day about like the urges I have and things going on on my Snapchat, so if you want to follow that, go follow me over there, we begin real personal.

I will also leave my TikTok and my Instagram and all my social media's in the description, along with my merch and my app, positive focus. If you're watching this episode on YouTube and you liked it, leave it a thumbs up. If you're new hit the subscribe button, go watch my other videos, they good, promise. And if you're listening on the audio version, you know the drill, five stars for no smoking.

If you're still smoking, leave me a five stars and then quit. Okay, it's time. All right, that's all I got for this episode. I love you guys to death. Thanks for listening to me, rant. I hope this helped you. But everybody, stay safe.

Take care of yourself. Quit smoking. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday. Thank you.