Aware & Aggravated - 91. Why Dating in 2023 Feels So Difficult

Episode Date: August 27, 2023

In this episode Leo talks about the challenges of dating in 2023. He shares some perspectives to give you a bit of hope and he also flips your mindset entirely around dating in this new age. These are some explanations you didn't know you needed. ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE:https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/...📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positiv...Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/de... 🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY https://www.facebook.com/groups/85129... 💎 1-ON-1 COACHING AND MENTORSHIP*Taking on new clients again soon.📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS https://leoskepitemplates.comBusiness Inquiries:[e-mail]

Hi friends, this week I want to talk about why dating feels so hard in 2023. There's a lot of things I want to break down and I really want to make sure you guys know that you aren't crazy because there are a lot of things going on with like society now that makes dating seem way harder than it is. And it does get annoying when you are constantly looking around and you see everybody dating and everybody's in relationships and all your friends are finding all these guys and girls and days and dams and you can't seem to find someone who's worth the shit. So for this episode I'm going to talk about a lot of different perspectives that are going to make a lot of sense and make you feel a lot less nuts because I know what it's like

but there really are a lot of things that are contributing to dating seeming so difficult. A lot of things are valid, and it does seem harder than it is. So I'm gonna check that for you and like kinda like flip your mindset, but also, we gotta check ourselves. This is not meant to be easy. Dating is not just something

you throw a little bit of energy into, and you get this great, ginormous, like beautiful thing. Like you have to put a little effort into it. Dating is not easy. It's gonna take an investment of energy and time and it's a learning process and you're gonna have to put more into it than you think but there are a lot of things that make it feel harder than it is. So that's what I want to fix is the way that it feels for you. It's like it feels difficult. It'll

be easier to figure out what to do, and not be so disheartened by it, and kinda like, fed up with it. So I'm gonna share a few perspectives with you, that's gonna kinda help with that feeling of everything's seemin' so hard, cause that sucks, it's very disheartening, no fun. Who wants to date when it seems like a chore?

So first things first, and one of the biggest ones, social media, duh, but my whole little tangent about to go on with social media and dating nowadays is it is so easy to write people off. It's so much faster. Like you are able to know things so much quicker than you used to be able to. Like things that people would hide or things that you would want to know about are readily available and accessible on social media.

You're gonna see everything that you didn't wanna see way sooner than you would have before. Like in the old days when there was like no phones, no social media, like it took a while of getting to know somebody before you learn all the bad shit you don't like. Now it's just plastered in front of you on social media and it's way easier to write people off.

Like you see all the red flags right up front before there's any emotional investment. plastered in front of you on social media and it's way easier to write people off. Like, you see all the red flags right up front before there's any emotional investment. So that's going to kind of lead you to like feeling very detached and like disconnected because before you even try and get close to them or invest time and energy into getting to know them or developing a relationship with them, you just see these things and you immediately hold yourself back because you're like, nope, like you see things you don't want to see too fast. And it prevents you from getting to know the person

or getting an explanation first. I'm real bad about this. I write everybody off like that. And I'm aware that probably shoots me in my foot sometimes and it's hindering my ability of like, getting to know people, but as soon as I spot unsafety or a red flag, I'm not getting near it. As soon as I think that's a shark in the water,

I'm taking my foot out of it. I'm not getting in the ocean. And being able to see things that you don't like about people is a good thing. Seeing it off the bat before you get invested is a good thing, but it's also very disheartening, because like I said, you feel so like, I don't wanna take a chance with this person,

it makes you hesitate, it makes you not wanna pursue them. And that kinda gets exhausting, it's like every single time you feel like there's a possible contender of someone you could date. You see something you don't like, you're like, oh, you immediately write them off. I do it with the same thing, like I, I don't look at it like I have a ton of options,

because I'm chronically unimpressed with people. Like I, I don't look at it like I have a ton of options because I'm chronically unimpressed with people. Like I'll see one thing I don't like and you're immediately written off. So it kind of like is a double-edged sword. Like you get to see things way sooner than you would have before but also is disheartening because you feel like every single option you get

is like immediately wiped out and it's like this false sense of like having options and then not. And that's the next thing I want to go into is people have this false sense of like having so many options of people you can date. So like with dating apps and social media, you feel like you got all these options, you feel like dating is just readily accessible at your fingertips. And you're going to feel like you have options until you start to go pursue them or go play with them and look at them because all you're doing is just swiping.

And there's no emotional investment in that. Like you're just swiping on a picture. You're not out actually meeting people and mingling and having conversation. There's no real energy invested into getting to know somebody. You're just looking at them and swiping. There's no real energy invested into getting to know somebody. You're just looking at them and swiping. There's no emotional investment. So, like I said before, you feel very free and a lot more inclined to just cut someone

off immediately when there's the first like exhibit of something that you don't like. It's kind of weird because like the whole idea of mingling and going out and meeting people's dead. Like everybody that wants to date, most people, not everybody. Most people just get on an app or they just start perusing around social media and that's kind of how they like mingle and look for partners. But that gives you that false sense of options. Like I said, because there are so many options on social media, but there's none that you're

investing anything into. So you feel no, like, kind of like connection to them or any reason to stick around or you feel no, like, pull toward them because there's nothing invested. You've swiped on them. You haven't had a conversation. You haven't invested time into them. You haven't tried to get to know them. It's like, eh, you're just swiping and it's like whatever. And then that sense of having options dwindles and you're like, okay, there's actually not anyone I'm fucking interested in. What do I do now? Or like the ones that I like don't like me back. We don't match because they don't swipe me. Or you're just unimpressed like me. And you're like, hmm, like you feel like you have options, but you really don't. Like, it's a weird illusion. And when there's no emotional investment in the mingling aspect,

swiping becomes very boring. Like it becomes a chore to like get on the apps and just swipe. There's no excitement, there's no fun. There's no nothing. It's gonna feel like you have to remind yourself and like it's gonna be like dating and swiping takes energy.

Because there's no excitement. There's no fun. You're forcing yourself to have to keep going through your options instead of going to meet people and like go mingle in person, you know? And that's a big reason why I think it feels so hard to date nowadays. There's so much of this like weird illusion

and mind-fuckery involved in all this and it's just weird. I don't like it. But it makes sense why it feels difficult. Because there's no fun in it anymore. Like there's no event of like going and getting dressed up and going to Mingle and meet people. It's like, okay, you can just lay on your couch

like a fat fucking potato and a blanket and just swipe and that's dating in the new day and age. What? And it also low key makes you feel worse because you feel like you're dating But you're actually meeting no one you're having no interaction with anyone you're having no like Anything it just feels very void and you're gonna feel more alone and more lonely You got to get your ass up and go out and like meet people for real

I do have a whole podcast episode called dating apps are damaging and it's all the ways you need to protect yourself mentally and things you need to be aware of if you're gonna be on dating apps to like Not become insecure and ruin yourself as team That episodes on Apple podcasts and Spotify. I'll leave the link in the description But those are just a couple of things about social media and dating apps that I've realized are making dating seem like it feels More difficult like dating is not an easy thing But these aspects definitely make it feel more difficult. Like dating is not an easy thing, but these aspects definitely make it feel more difficult. Alright, the next thing is something that kind of pisses

me off with dating is everyone seems taken or feels taken. And if they're not taken, you just feel like they're entertaining someone else because communication is so easy now. Like everybody is DMing somebody. You know what I mean? Like everybody is talking to different people all the time. It's like, and that's why I'm so paranoid about people's phones. And like I always talk about go through your partners, God damn phone. Like it's a whole separate world you're living in. And there's so many means of communication in this little block of glass. Like there's so many people you can talk to just in this. It's weird.

Like, we should not have this. We should not be able to communicate with like hundreds of thousands of people, millions of people, like that. That's stress inducing for me personally and for a lot of people. But it just feels like now, everybody is constantly either entertaining somebody else

or is taken or like, I don't know. That's something that makes it feel more difficult for me is like how actually rare is it to find someone who is not entertaining other people? That's very disheartening when you're like, okay, I want someone who's only going to talk to me. That's how I am. I want that. I will offer that.

But to find someone else with all of my other standards plus can do that. Bitch. It's just like we're lowering our fucking chances because it's so normalized to constantly be entertaining and talking to so many people at once. That's just the new day in age though, I guess. I don't know. Stress is me out. We all have the time.

For real. I got genuinely so curious about that. Me just trying to keep up with my friendship is a lot. Where do people have time to entertain all these boyfriend's girlfriend's day friends them friends? I don't have time. I barely have time to fart and have friends and a work life. I wouldn't say work life balance but like for me to work and have friends I don't have

time to be entertaining other people also. I'm lucky if I could fit one guy in to have a little boyfriend. Maybe. Okay, the next thing I want to hit on is manipulation is so common and a lot of people are becoming more aware of it. Like, people will manipulate the living shit out of you. They will love bomb you. They will gas like you. They will pretend to be a completely different person they will gas like you, they will pretend to be a completely different person and put on this image of like what they know that you want. They will become what they think you want them to be. They will get close to you and then flip. The real them will come out.

People don't know how to own their shit and that is like that's something that's been around forever. That's not something that's new. But now people are so much more aware of that manipulation tactic That's something being talked about a lot more and people are Identifying it and able to spot it more and it's like every time you meet somebody Are you just putting your best foot forward or are you actually like this? Like are you just being what you think I need you to be like a whole nice guys thing? Are you being nice to me until I fuck you and then you're gonna flip or like what is it?

Like guys and girls deal with this. Like people act a certain way and then flip. I forget where I heard this was someone called it a bait and switch. Like someone will act a certain way to bait you and get you and then as soon as they get you, they switch. Like that's, it's so prevalent now.

It's so, it's always been prevalent though. Like I said, but now people are just aware of it So like you have that hesitation when you go to date and you got all your walls up and your guards up ten times more than normal because you're aware that this happens It's a good thing though that We're being made aware of this manipulation tactic used by people like the whole people pleasing shit and like the whole like love bombing thing like we're all becoming aware of it But it makes us all so much more hyper aware and reserved which makes dating seem more difficult like everything makes sense Like why dating seems difficult all this makes sense I just wanted to make you aware of all these things that were going into it

So you're not so discouraged like I promised there's hope in trying to date. And the biggest reason I say it's good that we're aware of this manipulation tactic is because like I said before, about spotting things on social media that you wouldn't have seen until you were already with them. Now, you can spot these signs

of like someone manipulating you before you become emotionally invested or you get a house together or you get engaged. Like you're able to spot these things before you're invested and it's harder to leave. So like it's good, but it just leads to everybody feeling a lot more disconnected and a lot more hopeless. The next thing I want to talk about is instant gratification and how we're all so like instant gratification junkies need to. and how we're all so like instant gratification junkies, me too.

But we all like when we can get things fast, quick, boom, boom, boom, like get it now, put it in a little effort and get a lot of reward. Everybody likes things to be quick and fast. That's normal. But connection, relationships, closeness with people, bonding with people is not something that can be rushed. That's something that takes time.

So for you to meet someone, a lot of people go into it thinking, oh, if you're the one, I'm immediately going to feel close to you. I'm immediately going to feel bonded to you. I don't feel that way on the first two dates. So you're not the one. And you kind of convince yourself, oh, something's wrong here. I'm not feeling it, I'm out. Why do I feel so bonded to my ex? Why can't I let them go? The whole thing here is time. It takes time around someone to feel close to them,

to feel bonded to them. You have to invest time and a lot of it to feel bonded and to feel safe and secure and like connected. It's the weirdest thing when people have this with friendships too. You have to put in the time. You can't just walk into meeting someone and be like, oh, I want to feel close to you. You have to spend time with them.

You have to get to learn them. You have to learn their little text, their little personality. You have to learn their behaviors. You have to spend time with them in different environments. Take a trip with them. Always travel with somebody before you consider them close to you. Everything about them is going to come out. But you have to have experiences with people and get to know them and see them in different

environments to feel close to them. Like I'm sure we all have friends that we've partied with and you see them every weekend, but you don't feel close to them. You've only seen them in one setting and you've only seen them a couple of times for a couple of hours There's no like bonding experiences that have happened. There's no like late-night talks where you've shared certain things about each other and opened up And you've had like serious combos There's no like goofy moments where you just shoot shit and like there you have to bond in so many different aspects before you can feel close to someone And it takes time and that's where I'm saying everybody's kind of mental setup is like instant gratification.

Everything is fast now. Like everything's quick, quick, quick, but like connection and relationship is not like my friends that I have that I feel the closest to I've spent the most time with. That's just how it goes. The more time you spend with someone the closer you feel. So if you feel like you don't feel close or bonded to anyone, before you get discouraged and write them off,

ask yourself, have I not spent enough time with them? Have we only hung out in one way? Are we only ever drinking and going out? Or can we go to a restaurant? Can we go eat? Can we go hang out at my house? Can we go have a game night? Whatever you wanna do.

Can we go like talk about deep shit and be there for each other? Before you write people off and get discouraged, just check are you doing what it takes to feel close and bonded? Like if you feel void of connection because I've felt like that too and I've had to check myself about this. Like I wanted to feel close to people. I wanted to have best friends. You got to put the in, Grua. You can't just like meet someone and be like, oh, we're bestie booths. You don't know them. The next thing I wanna talk about is something I deal with real bad.

You have to check and see if your life is set up for you to date someone. Like my life is only set up for me. I barely have my life set up to have friends in it. Like I'm a selfish headthal. I'm very selfish with my time. My life is set up for me to be single. So, that's another thing to check is like if you're trying to date and your life is actually set up for only you.

When you try and incorporate somebody into that, there's no space for them. It's gonna feel like you're gonna have to adapt your entire life to this new person, which is gonna make it feel like you're gonna have to adapt your entire life to this new person Which is gonna make it feel like it's ten times harder like even just for you to start going on dates It's gonna seem like an inconvenience because your life is not set up for anyone but yourself So you're gonna have to kind of check yourself and Become aware why it seems like a whole life shift. It's because it is. Like you have your life only set up for you.

So you might wanna change that and like, make a little space for someone to come into. So you're not so thrown off and like off-kilter and you don't start building resentment about feeling like you're losing yourself. Like intentionally create some space for someone to come into in your life. Don't adapt your life to them. And like,

that's how you lose yourself is fully like throwing your life away and making it mold to them. But just check and see if your life is set up for you. And basically just check and see if your life is set up for having a partner. For myself personally, it is not at all. I've had to make some big changes. And I've had my friends from Houston visiting me for the past few days. And they're staying for an extra week Like we extended their flight because we're having fun and I'm realizing a lot about this like My life is not even set up to have friends or anyone with me day-to-day like having three people staying in my apartment And then my sister is coming tomorrow, so I'm gonna have four people plus me in my apartment like my life is not set up for any kind of space for anyone else.

And I've had to learn, this is something that I want to have is like people in my day to day. Like I live a very isolated life on purpose, but I actually really enjoy this. So I'm having to make shifts and adapt to people being in my day to day life. But that's the thing. If you don't have the skill of being adaptable, if your life's only set up for you, you're gonna feel like it's a challenge and everything's very hard.

So you have to just become aware of how your life is set up and if there is space for someone and become a little bit more adaptable to circumstances changing. And if you do want people in your life, like me, if you want more space for friends, make it. If you want space for a partner, make it in your life and consult with yourself.

What are you willing to move around and give up and what are you willing to adjust in your life to get this thing that you want? Like, throw yourself away in your life just to make room for someone else. Like set a boundary with it. Like how much are you willing to give and how much space are you willing to make and what are you willing to like reorient and kind of like reorganize. So you can have people in your life. But if you don't do that, it's just going to feel like a challenge and you're going to feel like these people that you're meeting are just not compatible because they don't just naturally just fit into your life. If your life is set up for one and you try and add in the second, it's going to be

like hell. It doesn't mean they're not the one. It just means you're not adapting, right? Okay. And my next point kind of piggybacks off the last point that I made. And it's when people get into relationship, this is so so common and it makes me so upset. People get into a relationship and hyper-focus on that. Like, they kind of distance themselves

from their friends, from their family, from the things that they like to do, from their own life, and they like, hyper-focus on this relationship. And all their attention and extra time and everything is like stuck with this one person and you kind of feel like Pulled away from your own life and your identity and who you are and all your friends and like everything that you know

It's like you're getting further away from it to be closer to this person This is gonna happen to an extent Duh you're excited about this person you wanna be around them. It's like, this is a normal thing. Like, for you to kind of put more energy there is expected. But people take this to an extreme. I've like, make their whole life about this person. They like, forget about all their previous connections,

their friends, their family, and what they enjoy in life. They kind of like, just throw it away and just get so far up the new person's ass. They like lose everything that they knew They like lose who they are That's where I'm saying it's gonna seem difficult and that's something that is weird and a lot of people are scared of that But be intentional about not letting that happen like set the boundaries with the person you're with and the people that already Care about you like when I get into a relationship, you best believe I'm going to tell everyone in my life that I currently love.

Hey, this is one of my concerns is any of you guys feeling neglected. I just want you to know I'm never going to neglect you on purpose. So if you start noticing, I'm spending too much time here or I don't seem to be aware of certain things that I'm doing and how I'm kind of pulling away, bring it to my attention. Let me know. So like everybody's on the lookout of like reminding me and making sure all of our connections are okay.

Like when you bring this one person in, none of your other connections to suffer, you know what I mean? Like I want my friends to tell me if they feel neglected. I want people like care about to communicate this. So like that's just how I am. But this seems to be such a common thing. Like as soon as everybody gets in a relationship,

they just kind of throw everything in everybody else away and shove their head up to all their person, ass, I don't get that. I do get it, because it's exciting. But like wake up, be a little more self-aware. You know? But if this is what you're used to with relationships, it's gonna feel hard to

Date because you're like, ah now I have to give up all these things. You don't You should not have to give yourself up to get someone else. You can have yourself and have them too That's the new goal you should have with the relationship is have you and them not give up things so you can have them, you know The next thing that makes dating very difficult, nowadays, is people are more educated. Like toxic traits and toxic behavior is talked about. In the old days, people used to literally be able to beat the shit out of their wives, and it was normal. Like, many people were able to beat their wives and it was normal. They used to literally look at their women like property.

And that behavior was looked at as normal and expected for so long. Things change when people talk about them and agree they don't feel good. And then you question, is this actually right? So everybody's idea of like what normal treatment is is completely different culture to culture. But this new age we live in, everybody's so aware of all the toxic behaviors and traits of things that everybody thought was normal for so long.

So like a lot of people don't really even know how to be in a relationship. They don't know what the hell they're doing. They just are aware of all these things that everybody is screaming or toxic, and they run from them. But all they're doing is just avoiding certain behaviors. They're not just being who they are. But the whole thing with that is like, people are a lot more

aware of toxic behaviors and things to look out for. So that's another thing that's gonna make you feel like you have way less options. Like you're spotting a lot more bullshit you want to avoid because it's more talked about. You're more educated. You're able to avoid these things because you know they exist and you know what they look like. And people are also experiencing their own relationships or what they like and don't like. And you're not taught anymore to suppress the way that you feel and just deal with things. And that's my next point. People are so much less in climb to settle. Nobody needs each other really anymore. Like women don't need men. Women can literally do everything for themselves

and be completely self-sufficient with no one. Anyone, any gender, anyone can be self-sufficient. So people used to settle and would get into relationships because women could only get certain things by being with men or you could only get certain things by being in a relationship. Everyone has the option to be self-sufficient if they want. No one has to settle and tolerate anyone's bullshit anymore just to get a certain perk

or to be able to live normal or have a goddamn right as a human being. Basically people don't need other people anymore and it makes them not feel like they need to settle. The way society used to be, it was kind of like looked at like, alright, it's expected for you to settle. Now it's expected for you to not settle. Like it's embarrassing if you settle now. And that's another thing. If you're someone who's friends with other people who seem to be dating a lot, before you get jealous or feel disheartened or like, damn, like, why can't I find anybody? Look at if they're settling or not. Look at what they're putting up with and if you would put up with that. Because as soon as you drop

your standards, you can find plenty of people to date. You can literally date anybody you want to if you have no standards. And if you have no respect for yourself and we'll just take whatever comes to you. And if you'll take a crack head off the street, you can go get a hundred of them. Having standards is going to make you feel like it is way harder to date. Because you're eliminating your pool of people you can pull from. There's plenty of people who are normal Joe Schmo and we'll cheat on you. That's most of the population, but if you require someone with character and that's solid and

is loyal, you're immediately like cutting your fucking dating pool in half. You're like it's like you're just, it's like a pyramid. If you want to pick from the top, there's way less at the top. So it's gonna feel harder to date. Absolutely. And my advice with that is stop looking for great people in generic and normal places. You're not going to find someone that acts like the top of the pyramid at a bar or a club or some ratchet-ass place. That's why when I go out, I don't look for potential dating candidates at these places. If I'm looking for a dating candidate, it's in one of my meetings. It's in one of my business ventures with one of

these companies I'm talking to. It's at a business dinner or like a nice dinner. It's in places where I'm gonna find people like myself. At the gym, it's not in the bathroom in the steam room where guys are fucking each other other It's out on the floor. Where's the guy with his headphones on mind in his business and his own little world like me that pays No one else attention. That's the type person I want But that's the biggest thing that saved me headache is stop looking for special in Normal places. You're not gonna find it. You're not gonna find somebody you want to marry at a bar You might you might let me not say you won't. You might. But not me. Because there are certain times where I have to go to the club. I'm like, I'm like, I have to go to the club.

There are certain times where like, it's someone's birthday and I have to go to certain events or like do certain things that I typically wouldn't do like with my own like free will. Like if I had to pick where we're going for the night I'm not picking fucking we how to go out with the whole like gay community I'm gonna pick somewhere different but like when it's someone's birthday or does any event or like something going on and everybody goes there Okay, I'll go you know what I mean? Like there is a chance to meet someone at your level and like on your standards in these places. You can meet them anywhere, but raise your likelihood by looking where they'd most likely be, you know? That might

make things seem a lot less difficult. Now my next point is one of the most frustrating that I've noticed. Everybody notices it. It's the normalization of detachment and superficial bullshit. And I'm talking hookups friends who benefits and everybody's favorite Which I don't know why anyone tolerates a situation ship What the fuck it seems more normal to be in a Situation ship or a friends will benefit slow situation or like a fucking booty call situation Then to be in a relationship nowadays It that seems more normal

That seems more common like more people are engaged in the detached aspect versus the relationship aspect Duh, it's gonna seem harder to date that shit is normalized. It's Normal. Oh, it's looked at as more normal by most people not by. To just run around hooking up with everybody or have a little friends or benefits or being a situation shift, you're gonna be giving someone your time, effort and energy who can't put a fucking label on it, who can't have a discussion of what are we, what do you want from me, what do I want from you, doesn't match, or does it not. People are too busy entertaining, people who are wasting their time because it's normal and it's safe, because if there's no label

It's not gonna hurt as bad. Oh my god. I'm not gonna catch as many feelings if we're not dating Okay Basically people are chicken shit about committing so it's easier to just do these little half commitments So you feel like you have somebody but you feel safe from the pain of losing them because you're not fully connected I don't like that shit. I'd rather be single than being a situation shit, but that's just me. But the normalization of being detached from everything and not being fully committed,

it makes people feel like it's okay to not commit. And it makes people feel like it's okay to have a six month talking stage when you're 25 years old. Why are you still talking? That's middle school, high school. Why are you still talking? That's middle school, high school. Why are you still talking to people? Why are you still in situations? If what you want is a relationship, do not settle for talking or a situation ship. If you're going on dates with someone

you're getting to know them, there's going to be like a little talking period. It shouldn't last more than a couple of weeks. You should be, you wanna be boyfriend, girlfriend? You wanna be boyfriend, boyfriend? You wanna be girlfriend, girlfriend? You should be like laying that shit down, like as soon as I like somebody, like if I find a dude and we go on two dates. I'm locking it down.

I'm not letting you go out and run around and talk to nobody else. When I see something and I want it, I'm locking it down. I'm gonna make sure you know that I like you and I'm focused letting you go out and run around and talk to nobody else. When I see something and I want it, I'm locking it down. I'm gonna make sure you know that I like you and I'm focused on you. I'll be on the same page or not. If not, go fuck with somebody else. But I'm not someone who's scared to get hurt and that's the other thing. Everybody's so goddamn scared to get hurt. Guru, it's okay.

You've been through worse. Getting your little feelings hurt is not that bad. It's like, it's a good motivation It'll give you a boost to get a revenge body It'll get you in touch with your emotions make you feel something again so you can lay off all like the party This is a funny ass episode. I'm just like low-key being there for you and then half attacking you What's new though? But I just wanted to bring that up because if you're trying to date and you feel like everybody's just so like chicken shit and like

Detached from everything. Hey, yeah, that's that's how it's going. That's like what society is now So it is normal to be a little frustrated and feel a little like damn like this dating is difficult and Kind of is but that also is gonna help you like weed out who's wasting your time and who's not like if they're only willing to commit Half to a situation ship. They're not for you if they're only willing to commit half to a situation ship, they're not for you. They're not able to give you what you want. Next, but at the same time, a lot of people are only able to give like half of a commitment.

Like people are too busy, because like I said, everyone can be independent now. A lot of people are too damn busy to give like a full commitment to a full relationship. It's like we can half be together like a situation. I don't know. If you're okay with that, go for it. Do what works for you.

If all you have time for is a friend's with benefits, you have time for the sexual closest aspect, you're willing to commit to only having sex with them, but you don't have time for the day-to-day emotional connection and hanging out and all that. Do what works for you. I'm not shaming nothing. What I'm saying is, if you are someone who wants a full commitment don't settle for a half commitment That's gonna piss y'all okay. All right, so my last point is how desensitized everybody is to Everybody else being human being like social media has made it like people are not real

That motherfucker is not real. Please don't be seen that. Please don't be seen the lady on the plane. Please, please, or else I'm gonna look crazy. No, but like social media makes it so easy to just ghost people. And like I said before, when you're just swiping on these pictures of people,

you're not kind of realizing in your brain. These are human beings with feelings. And my actions can hurt them. Like, people forget that you're on your little phone, you're on your little screen, but the people behind it are human. Like, they're people. And everybody kind of does this. Like, it's just natural process of like going through so many. It's like you kind of desensitize yourself to it.

But being ghosted and ghosting people is so normal now because people don't act like the people on the phone on the other end are human. They're kind of detached from it. So that's another reason that dating seems so difficult. Like in this day and age that I've realized is like people forget that other people are humans. Especially if it's on the phone, like they just kind of like ghost it. But like when you go on a date with someone or you meet them in person and you have a date with them and you get to know them or like you hit it off really good somewhere and then you're like texting about going on a date, they immediately flip back into the relationship with the phone

and the text and they forget the physics, you may not need to end of it. You know what I mean? It's like I see so many people go through this and I've been through this like years ago when I gave time to people who weren't Shit, but it's like they met you in person Then they started texting you but that pattern of behavior on the phone is kind of there So like yeah, they met you and you guys had fun But like if they had a change of heart or like they aren't really interested They'll just go to you or ignore you because they're your human, like they're just back into that old relationship with the phone of like not considering who's on the other end of it, just like, oh,

I don't want to talk to them, so I'm not going to. There's a big lack of consideration to other people's feelings, so I just wanted to point that out because you're not crazy if you feel like that. It's become very normalized and I hate it. If you like this episode, me ranting about dating and why it seems so difficult. Leave this video a thumbs up and leave a comment down below. And if you're listening to the audio version on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, leave me a five stars.

For the 5,000 headaches you've had of trying to date. Like I said, I will leave a link in the description to my podcast episode about dating apps and how to protect yourself if you're going to be on them. I will also leave my social media down below and my Snapchat have me on there because I've been on Snapchat bitch. I've been on it because they run me a bag. They're paying me. I'm gonna be open and honest with you like I've been posting a lot more on Snapchat because Instagram stories don't pay. TikTok stories don't pay. Snapchat stories pay. So I'm gonna post there. You know what I mean? Like it's fun too because I can be a lot more explicit and just kind of like off the cuff with shit. Oh, it's fun

So add me on Snapchat if you want to see more of my day-to-day I'll also leave my Instagram and TikTok and everything else in the description also my merch and my app positive focus If you want some little positive notifications if you want to feel like I'm in your pocket yelling at you And that is all I've got for this episode. Everybody, be safe, take care of yourself. Love you. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.