Aware & Aggravated - 94. Stop Resisting Yourself & Life Will Get Easier

Episode Date: September 17, 2023

In this episode Leo talks about catering your life to YOU, to meet the specific needs you have. He explains how certain trauma causes you to need certain things that aren't always typical/things that work for everyone else. Leo explains how to fearlessly embrace taking care of yourself emotionally & physically to make your life flow smoothly & feel easier.   🎟 Tickets to my live show:  https://www.axs.com/artists/1114845/leo-skepi-tickets   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9   👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS  https://leoskepitemplates.com   Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Alright, I've been teasing on social media the announcement that I have. This is what you've been waiting for. I am doing my first live event in LA on October 22nd. AHH! Everybody get excited! I wish I had like fireworks and like poppers and all that to like make a little celebration. But I'm so excited! I've been literally plotting this for over a year. So the live show is gonna kind of go like a live podcast for a certain part of it I'm going to break down the topic of confidence and instill it into all of you before you walk out of that building and I'm gonna be Uncensored I have to censor myself for YouTube girl. We're getting into it. It's live. I don't care I can speak in that little microphone and everybody there you're gonna get all the secrets that nobody else can get. I'm so excited! So tickets are gonna go on sale Monday September 18th.

So, everybody get ready. I'm gonna put all the details in the description, the links, the everything you need. Okay? I am gonna be posting more details on Instagram, but I'm gonna pin it in the comments on this video on YouTube and the description of all my podcasts for my audio people, it's gonna be the first link. So if you wanna tick it, be quick, grrr. But the event is gonna be on October 22nd. So tickets go on sale Monday, September 18th, and then the actual show is in Los Angeles, on October 22nd.

So like I said, I'm gonna do the whole podcast segment where it's like a live podcast. Then we're gonna do a pretty long Q&A and also some special little surprises in there. You know, I'm always up to something. And there will also be a meet and greet portion. So I'm so excited for this. I'm so excited to meet all of you in person and hug you

and just just bit facts at you because I get to be uncensored on that stage and I'm so excited. Oh my God. This is about to be life changing for the both of us. But like I said, all the information you need will be down below. I wanted to announce that before we jump into this week's episode. But here we go. Hi friends, this week I'm going to teach you how to stop

resistance in yourself. Because that's something that caused me a lot of headache for a long time. And what I mean by resistance in yourself is not setting up your life for you and not catering your life to yourself. And there's so many things that everybody promotes, you should do this, your life should look like this when they're not taken into account like every individual person. And when you have experienced trauma, you are going to have to set up your life

a lot different. So I'm gonna break down a couple of areas where I think you need to like let the leash off and give you the encouragement and kind of like the insight of how to structure your life to you because a lot of things that work for other people are not gonna work for you. And when you try and better yourself by implementing this new thing that you learn from this new guru, this self-help person who wants to help you, not me. Everybody else. And it doesn't work or you feel exhausted trying to do it.

Like, that might be a sign you're trying to force something that's not for you. And two episodes ago, I talked about my first realization that I have when I ran away to the mountains and like, secluded myself to be away from everybody and everything. But this next realization is the one that like hit me upside the head. So my analogy, it's kind of like catered to me and you, because if you resonate with my content and my material and the way that I speak about things, you have gone through shit. All right, I'm just going to give it to you straight. Like you've been fucked up.

So the way that people like us have to go about navigating life after getting through or just living through what we've been through is different than most people. Like you don't have the normal life, so do not try and force that. So I look at this, like there's two dogs that you have adopted. And there's one dog that has had a normal little life. It was from a breeder and someone went and paid and took it home And it's lived in a little house. It's whole life and it's never had to worry about a meal It's always had its little needs met

It's always been loved and cared for and like it was a normal dog with a normal Upbringing and then on the flip side you have a dog that is like a rescued fighting pit bull that like grew up Fighting other dogs and having to fight to the death and be bet on for money and this is a real thing That's a big thing that happens and I used to have a pit bull That was a rescue fighting pit. It wasn't mine. It was my stepdads But it became mine in a way and he attacked my stepdad over me one day because he attacked me and then the dog attacked him. So that was like a big thing and then he tried to kill the dog because he took my side.

But anyway, that's not the point. If you take these two dogs, you have the one that grew up in the house and has had a normal little life and has always been okay and hasn't really seen much of the world versus a dog that was a rescue fighting pit who was a stray at one point, had to learn to fend for itself, and then grew up fighting for its life every day, literally, and wasn't really looked after and cared for by its owner. If you take these two dogs and you try and treat them the same, you're not going to get the same result. You're not going to have a good. You're not gonna have a good outcome. The way you would treat a normal little dog. If you treat a rescue fighting pit bull,

the same way you would treat a little always in the house dog, it's gonna hurt the pit bull. Or something bad's gonna happen. Because you can't just walk out of the house. When you have a rescue fighting pit, they will dart for the door and try and go kill anything they can find. Whether it's a cat, a squirrel, another dog, people, like you have to take certain precautions and care for this animal differently because of what it's been through. The adaptive strategy's has had to learn the way it is and the way it sees the world. The dog that grew up in the house does not know what danger is in the world. We are like the rescue fighting pit. We've been out in the world.

We've been fucked up by things. We understand the darkness, the evil, everything that's out there. And we've had to take care of ourselves. And we possess a little bit of like, I don't know how to politely say it, but we have skills to be ruthless. And we've had to do what we've had to do in our life. Okay, but my whole point is the way you treat these animals is going to be very different

and you cannot just blindly and ignorantly try and treat a pit bull that has been treated like this and has a pass like that like you would treat a normal little inside dog. You cannot treat them the same or expect them to behave the same. The dog that was inside never had to worry about food. It always had it. A dog that didn't have it is going to be very aggressive when it eats and very territorial because if someone takes it they see it as a threat. If someone takes this for me I can't eat. They will attack you if you try and get in the way of them eating. You don't put your hand near their bowl. Little house animals,

house pets. You can walk out to them and put your hand in the bowl and they won't do nothing. They might back up. They'll walk away from the food. These two animals are gonna behave very differently because of what they've been through. And until I really like wrapped my head around this and accepted this as a truth, life has been a lot easier. So I want to knock out a couple little points of just stupid things. I'm not talking about trauma and all that. Like we'll get to that. But I also want to talk about like little bullshit you have to accept that you are different from other people.

And other people might be allowed to do something, but you're just not able to do that without the consequence that you experience. Like some people don't have to deal with what you have to deal with and life is not fair. So you have to accept who you are, how you are, and what you're going to have to deal with what you have to deal with. And life is not fair. So you have to accept who you are, how you are, and what you're going to have to deal with and then choose to do things or not do things because of it. My first example is a stupid little one to kind of like begin this topic. It's eating out at restaurants for other people to go out and eat out at a restaurant.

They can go and be fine. When I go to a restaurant and I eat, when I eat food that I do not cook myself or is not cooked at home, I don't know what is wrong or what's different. There's so much more sodium and like additives and like random shit that just like doesn't go right with me and I bloat. Like my face will get puffy the next day, I'll be sluggish. I'll be tired. It'll impact my mood. That usually happens when you eat fried food, fats, sugars, like when you're not used to it. So like I eat really clean normally.

So when I veer off from my normal diet and I eat something bad, I eat a dessert, or eat like some fried shit, I feel awful. I look awful because I'm bloated and my body is like not Mm-hmm. All right with what I just put in it But also for like two days my mind. I'm just sluggish I'm tired. I have no energy and it messes with my mood I've noticed and I don't know if that's a digestion issue But when you do eat really clean and then you eat bad It does mess with you like your body's not used to it and I'm not saying I don't go to restaurants

I go to a lot of restaurants and I eat out a lot when it's called for most of my meals are at home. But when I do go out to eat, I eat something very, very clean. I don't eat fried, I don't eat a lot of fat, I don't eat sugars. I stay away from a lot of things. So it's like salads, grilled things, vegetables, shit like that.

So I can go get the experience of going out to eat without wrecking myself. It's just annoying as hell, but for me to sit here and try and resist myself and be like, no, I should be able to go out and eat like everybody else. I should be able to go out and eat fried chicken and a cheesecake for dessert like my friends can and have no consequence. I'm gonna have a consequence. Like you have to wake up and realize what you have to go through is

going to be different sometimes. You might have benefits. Other people don't have. But what I'm saying is stop ignoring your specific case. Because who's left with the consequence when I go out to eat me? We go out with all my friends. Everybody eats this way. I'm over here like, oh, I should be able to eat that way. And I eat that way. And then I have to pay for it the next two days. Nobody else has to pay for it because they can do it. It's like if you have some kind of intolerance, like your lactose intolerant or like your gluten intolerant

and you can't have certain things. If you eat it, you're the only one gonna get the consequence. You could have silly activities and be like, oh my God, I should just be allowed to eat bread. Everybody else is eating it. Girl, why the fuck you gonna go eat some bread? You know you can't have that your body can't digest that your body can't process it Like enough this all just made me take a lot of accountability for my life and what I'm doing like

You have to cater yourself to different things you can fight the whole point of you want to be able to go out to eat and eat whatever you want That's not the reality for me. I can't do that without consequence, and those are consequences I don't want to choose, so I'm not going to. I'm gonna eat right, and eat what makes me feel good, because that's what I like. I like to be on my egg game. I like to feel good, look good, and be like ready to go. You know, I don't like to be sad and sluggish and tired. Blow it. But cater your life to you and stop giving a shit. Like cater your life to you. What's going to make you function optimally? What's going to make you feel good?

And how you're going to be able to live like as your best self and feel your best, mentally, physically, all of it. But the next part I want to go into is an example about your emotional side. So like catering your life to how you are emotionally and what you need. So if you have a need for security and safety, like me, the way you approach the outside world is going to be very

Different for me to leave my apartment without some kind of weapon on me makes me feel a little bit anxious And that's not something where it's like, oh, you don't know how to deal with things. It's like, no, I'm aware of what goes on in the world, what people are capable of, what I'm capable of. I know the threats that are there. A lot of people just have this unrealistic fear from not experiencing things. They just see movies or they see some stupid shit

and they like get worried. I'm anxious about things because I know they are true. I know how easy they happen. I know how fast they happen I know what I'm capable of so there's a difference between being paranoid and being aware of an actual threat and risk Management that's kind of what I do like I manage the risk like what is it called mitigate risk? That's the word mitigating risk. I mitigate risk of all the things that I do. Every single thing I do, I take some kind of precaution. I never leave things in my car. When I lock it and walk off, always lock your car.

A lot of people don't lock their car. If I'm not okay with it being stolen out of my car, I do not leave it in there. Because how fast and easy it happens. There are sometimes I've been a little careless, like that's just one thing. But my whole thing about having a weapon on me, whether's a knife a gun or some kind of object I've always got something on me because if I go up against one person I don't care I got it if I go

up against a person with a weapon what let's even the playing field now I got one if I'm one person and five people trying to come jump me or attack me or Rob me or whatever it is now it's five on one with a knife or five on one with a gun I like those odds. I'm aware of what's happened I got jumped in Berlin if you guys haven't seen it like five guys surrounded me in a club and jumped me and I had a knife on me And I used it but that's my fucking point. Taking care of myself and catering to my own emotions and my own needs of safety and security are my business. Other people can think they're weird all they fucking want, but for me to do what I need to do, to feel prepared, to handle any kind of threat coming up, I know that there's not anything you can do to fully wipe it out or

Anything but I am big on preparation. So I'd rather have it than not. I'd rather be prepared than not prepared You know, I'm quick on my feet But I'm quicker on my feet when I'm prepared for it. My whole point with that is my physical safety is something that really is important to me and if I cannot get my mind feeling safe and feel prepared for handling a threat coming up, I'm not going to be able to be in a present moment of anything. And the steps I take to make myself feel comforted are my issue and my thing I like to do. So I really don't think or worry that like other people think I'm nuts or crazy or anything.

It's like I'm doing what I need to do to feel safe and protected. When I go out in public now, I don't want to give you all my tactics and all my things because I use them to protect myself because I'm in the public eye. Like there's a lot of things I do. I'm so hyper aware of my surroundings. And now I'm always with someone. I'm with people and the people that I'm with are also very capable of handling a threat.

So that gives me peace and makes me feel comforted because for me to go out in public, I know I can handle myself. When I know I have another set of eyes and limbs ready to like help me or protect me for situation comes up, I feel better, I feel at ease. Also with being in the public, I, there's a lot of people who look at you like a payday.

So they'll come up with you and they'll try and mess with you or start a fight or start something. So you hit them so they can sue you and get money. I'm not stupid. Okay. So the things that I have to do, given I am in the public eye and this is something I now have to deal with every single day, every moment I'm out in public, I'm 10 times more aware. If I just try and act like I'm not in the public eye and I'm not aware of what people are capable of And I just try and be like the little dog that was raised in the house and just ignore everything and act normal I should just be able to walk around and not worry and not be anxious and not be scared like other people don't have to deal with this This is not fair life don't give a fuck about fair and I don't care about fair nothing's fair

But my point is with that, I can sit here and resist myself and resist the position that I'm in, and try and force myself to behave like other people do, because other people don't have to worry about this, so I shouldn't have to worry about it. Babe, you're aware of more, you've experienced more. You're responsible for it, it's the worst thing in the world and I share it with you. It sucks. But what I'm saying is stop resisting yourself and do the things that are gonna make you feel safe, comforted, and mentally sound. Like do the things in cater your life to how you need. Like meet your own needs. Make your needs important. Even if it seems psychotic to other people, so be it. Like I'm looking into getting a

Professionally trained attack dog because I want to register it as a service animal and bring it around with me people are insane and I know and you know How insane they are like I said I know what I'm capable of It's dumb to think that other people are not capable of the same thing. A lot of people are not aware of like where you can take things, but I am. So I'm aware of a different level of danger that exists. A lot of people are. A lot of people just don't talk about it and they like to ignore it. But with that knowledge comes the responsibility of meeting a need for safety for yourself. Also when I go in public, something else that I do

is any room that I walk into, any building that I walk into, I spot three exits. Because when you're logical, and you're in a, let's just something I was like trying to do with my stepdad, like when you're walking in somewhere and you're logical, spot the exits. Spot the way you can get out.

And if there's only two doors, think of what window can I break, what can I do can get out and if there's only two doors think of What window can I break? What can I do to get out of this thing? What am I gonna break it with? So that if something does break out or you need to get out of there immediately a fire or robbery anything happens You never know what the fuck's gonna happen But if something happens you've already got that logical game plan of I'm gonna do this I'm not gonna go out the entrance because that's where everybody's gonna take our front-end I'm gonna go out one of the exits I already scoped out and already thought of you gotta be very

strategic when you understand the true danger in the world and I am not gonna be able to walk into a restaurant and sit down and have a conversation with somebody until I have my need for safety met until I can look around and lay eyes on every single person in there one what everybody's doing where everybody's facing I always like to face the entrance I don't like to face with like my back to people I don't know how people do that I don't know how people sit with their back to people it shows me out but if I don't have eyes on my exes and I haven't been able to assess a room But if I don't have eyes on my exits and I haven't been able to assess a room

fully before I sit down I'm gonna be an anxious nervous wreck not like anxious and I'm nervous and I'm overrun It's just like a panicked feeling and a lot of people are gonna say oh you need to sit with the feeling and overcome it No bitch I'm gonna prepare so that I can sit down and relax as like as soon as I put my eyes on things. I'm good But if you tell me to just walk in somewhere and just sit down and relax. As soon as I put my eyes on things, I'm good. But if you tell me to just walk in somewhere and just sit down and not face it, girl, I'ma be like this the whole time. Any noise I'ma be like jumping like crazy.

That's the need that I have so I meet it. I don't care people think I look crazy. I don't care if it's inconvenience to other people. I don't make me meeting my own needs and catering my life to me and convenient for others. Like if you can't give me 30 fucking seconds to walk around and look at shit, before I sit down with you, go away.

I think the best way to kind of word this is when you know better, you can't use tactics that other people use who don't know better. And when you have heightened consciousness and awareness of life things, people, situations, coping things for you are not gonna be what work for other people. They can't access that.

It's like when I talk about transfer and realities and like you shift too fast or like if you like quantum leap and you like switch into a new reality, like when I move to LA, I've hit this new reality that's like at such a higher level that none of my coping mechanisms from my lower realities worked. People who are in that reality are going to be able to cope and think positive thoughts and meditate and do shit that are going to help them calm the

problems on their level. When you are on a different level of consciousness or awareness, you are going to need different tactics and do not never make someone make you feel bad for that. Like don't get annoying with it. There's people can take this so many different ways. If you get annoying with it and like you just like use this as an excuse to be selfish and stupid, it's like girl we get it. Like stop me it's so damn dramatic. I'm just saying like with yourself, setting your life up to cater to you, the biggest like improvement you can make. My next topic,

because I've hit the safety thing enough, is I need a routine for as much of my day as possible. Like I need some kind of stability. Personally, I need that. That's a need I have, is organization and structure. So I do it with my routine. I'm someone who everything I do relies on my

creative ability. I have to have quiet time to be able to access my intuition and my creativity. I can't do it when I'm all up in the business world. Like I'm able to do both just not at the same time. So I have dedicated times for dedicated things I want to do. I have a period where I'm chaotic and I've had to set my life up like this because sitting here trying to deal with chaotic bullshit all day long and still be creative is not working. I couldn't access it or I just be tired and fed up and I had no creativity left. I didn't care. I was just like, whatever. So I've got my set period.

I handle all my business stuff. And then like mid to end of the day is like my time to do what I want to do, where I tell myself it's like free time, but like that's when I'll podcast, I'll make content, I'll post on TikTok, Snapchat, all that. It's like I do that in my creative period. But when I access my creative mind and my creative flow, I cannot have things pull me out of it

because it's very hard to get back into it. So I cannot have distraction. So I have to set my life up like that. Other people might be able to split their focus and be able to be very creative, get a call, do a meeting, go to an event, come back and be creative. I'm not someone who can do that. It's either I don't have a skill

or I'm not wired like that. It's not I don't have a skill or I'm not wired like that. It's not something I'm choosing to do. Like I know what works for me and I'm going to do it. And I'll change it after this doesn't work anymore. But setting a time for me to be logical and business and scatterbrained and let everything pull at my attention because I need it for what I do, that's set now. But after that time is when I allow myself the uninterrupted period where I get to access my creativity. And this has been so important. I literally was doing the whole thing where you fight yourself. And I was like, Leo, you're just not strong enough. Like you need to be like better. You need to learn how to adapt and be able to flip in and

out of creativity. You need to learn how to be able to deal with all these constant pulls that your attention and be able to still be creative. And then I sat on for a second and I'm like, really, you don't. Like, why am I going to force myself to do that? If something is hurting my performance and this is what I do for a living,

no, nothing's getting in the way of this, the hell. So I catered my life to what I need to be able to execute on what I wanna do, like making this and making my content and doing my social media stuff. Now I'm happy about it. Before I was like getting exhausted and like burnt out with it,

but just allowing myself to have the deficiency of not being the kind of person who can be constantly pulled in every direction and still be creative and still be scheduled and regimented and get all my things done. And give it up, okay, fine. I'm either gonna not do it right now, I'll learn it later, whatever.

My primary goal was like, what is gonna make me efficient right now? Catering my life to me, stop resisting yourself. There's a time to push yourself. There's a time to not. I know this advice can get taken out of context, but you guys have been listening to me for long enough, you know better.

You know what I'm talking about. You've got the discipline. You know when to push yourself. You know when to let off. You know when to make changes and switch your life around a caterer to you. So I just wanted to share this because I'm talking to y'all at my level now.

Like the more I learn and grow, y'all are growing with me. So I'm not scared to talk to you about different things anymore. Like y'all at my level now. Like the more I learn and grow, y'all are growing with me. So I'm not scared to talk to you about different things anymore. Like y'all get it. We gonna have the same page. The people that take it out of context, y'all knew here.

Go start from the beginning. One more little thing I wanna hit on is spending habits. We love to talk about money. People hate it. But this is something I wish people talked more about. And your spending habits are what you really need to cater to yourself. Because for you to be trying to just this is something I had to deal with when I was like growing up growing up in my early 20s, grow on 25.

I'm acting like it was 12 years ago. It feels like it because there's so much has happened. But like I remember being 21, 22, and I was trying to save to start my app, and I was trying to save and do certain things, and I was having to pay for certain things, other people were having to pay for on the back end, and being around my friends who were spending on dinner and going out to do shit and shopping all the time, and they just got to spend freely. And I was so resistant and kind of resentful that I wasn't able to just care free, go do

whatever I wanted to do. It's not that I didn't have the money. I was prioritizing putting the money in other places. Like I prioritized having a savings and I still do. And I prioritized building my app over Partying and drinking and going out to eat every single day. It was just a weird thing of like while I was catering it to myself I was like pissed the whole time because it's like damn, but like now It all paid off But my whole thing is when you're in the period of trying to cater your life to yourself and stop resisting your spending habits like

Setting your financial life up for how you need to spend or not spend so you can save or be able to afford things. Some people have family members they take care of. Some people have medical shit they have to do. Some people literally can barely get by on their own. So stop looking for how other people are spending, what other people are doing, investments, S&P by 100.

Go to hell. Oh, I don't get mad. Don't get mad. Don't stress out about how other people are spending their money and what they're doing and how it should be and what you should be doing. Catering it to you. If you wanna save for a house, if you wanna save for a car,

if you wanna save for a god damn Chanel bag do it like Prioritize and cater your life to be able to do what you want to do if you prioritize traveling and other people prioritize Clothes and going out to dinner Don't just automatically feel like you have to go do that because you're robbing yourself of the experience of Going on your trip. You want to go on you're gonna have to yourself of the experience of going on your trip you want to go on. You're going to have to prioritize your spending where you want it to go, but like cater it to you, figure out what you want, what matters to you, and then do it.

Everybody spends money on different things. Cater your financial life to you in your specific situation. There's no denying it. Like you have to face it, accept what it is and then deal with it and prioritize what you're going to do because of a situation that you're in. So the last thing I want to talk about is the way you're going to have to cater your life after you've been betrayed. And like the way you're going to go about friendships, relationships, trust, you're're gonna have a whole new set of needs for you to feel comfortable or safe

or feel like you're allowing someone to get close to you. I don't let people come to my house or like my apartment ever since I moved out on my own. I don't do it. Until I fully know you as a person and I've tested you, you guys know there's a lot of tests that I do of like how I assess someone's character without them knowing, like I'll put them in little tests

or I like observe them in certain situations to see how they handle it. And it's like, are they like acting in correspondence and in correlation with like the type of character I think is safe, you know? But until I've run my little tests and I feel like I have a good read on your character or not, you're not coming to where I live.

I'm very protective of my house and my space for many reasons, like energetically and also like people would be stealing shit. I've been someone from before, I've been plenty of times, I don't trust nobody. Trust no one's on my hand for every reason, grra. But like when a lot of people want to get together or like if me and my friends go out one night And everybody's like oh, where should we let go? Should we do like an after should we hang out at somebody's house? Everybody knows we ain't going to Leo's house because I'm not bringing random people into my space

That's a balinger. I have said and I don't care how crazy I look I don't care how psychotic I look because if people walk in my apartment. I do not know I'm not gonna have a good time. I'm not gonna be able to relax I'm gonna be paranoid and I'm gonna have my eyes on them like a hawk and watch all of their moves Do you think that's gonna be fun to go to? No, how do I kick that? You don't when you realize what people are capable of You put nothing past anyone and I'm gonna watch it.

Like, I've been burned plenty of times before. I'll be fucked if I'm burned the same way again twice. I do not make the same mistake twice. I will not let myself like go through that. So if someone gets something over on me once, your fault. Now I understand now I know what to look out for. Once I know this thing exists, and I've experienced it before, if it happens again, in the same manner,

I'm the dumbass who let it happen again. That's just kind of my outlook on it. Like, I'm not gonna let someone burn me away, I've been burned before. It's like, if you've been burned by a stove, you know not to touch it. Okay. So if you're gonna take your mechanisms to see if it's on before you've been burned by a stove you know not to touch it. Okay, so if you're gonna take your mechanisms

To see if if it's on before you touch it see if it's hot before you touch it your little tests do them People think I'm crazy people think I'm literally so psychotic that's such a numb skull thing to say is like someone who Tested people or is reserved or does not trust people and just give them the benefit of the doubt. If for anyone to judge someone like me, you have not been through enough and you're be nice. You've not been through enough and you're a little golden retriever, happy house life. You're not going to understand how I have to behave like the attack dog.

You get it? You see the difference? These people that were born inside the house are not going to know how to understand and they're just going to judge the people who grew up in the ring basically. What I do doesn't have to make sense to nobody but me and who I give a fuck about. So that's my problem. That's my case. But the whole thing with testing people, don't ever feel bad for it. Do not feel bad about guarding your heart, guarding your safety, and guarding your well-being, because not everybody's trustworthy. And when you hit a certain level of awareness, a lot of people don't hurt people intentionally. They hurt them by accident because of their manipulative, covert little ways they do things or their insecurities. Like people will hurt you with no bad intention.

So when you're really like versed on psychology, like I am and you understand, you might not intentionally sit here in my face and hurt me. You're gonna do it in a way that most people can't recognize. I know how to recognize that now. I see it all. I've been through it all. So that's what I'm saying. You can still be burned by the stove, even if it doesn't look on. You're only gonna have to make that mistake once before you keep testing it. But me catering my life to what works for me is what I'm gonna do. And if you don't like it, don't be near me. Don't try to be friends with me. I don't care. I genuinely don't. Because what good are we gonna be as friends? If I can't let my guard down with you, and I'm gonna watch all of your movements and who you are,

I'm gonna keep you at arm's length. That's not a friendship. Like for me to drop basically my guns and like put them down and put all my armor down, I'm gonna have to go through things with you and experience things that will like take a piece of brick off the wall as it goes. And then it's like we connect and we get to it.

If you just openly just go up to everybody, okay, Dames, you'll learn to quit doing that. I need to feel safe with people. I have a need of that. I need to be able to assess things and have my own judgment to reassure myself on when I have doubts, worries, or insecurities. You can't just always rely on other people to reassure you, but if I have a stack of proof that I've assessed your character in all of these ways,

then I feel comfortable giving you the benefit of the doubt. Because look at all this proof. I do give people chances. I do after I've gotten to know them. Give them the benefit of the doubt with certain things. And like, I'm a very soft and like sweet, caring, warm person once we're close and once I feel safe with you. Like there is nothing that will ever hurt you once I care for you like that.

But like it takes you a minute to access that with me and that's totally fine. Like that is kept me safe and only allowed like pure ass genuine connections in my life. I'm I have a screening process. So that's where I was getting to with the whole cater your life to you think. I have a screening process I go through with friends or relationships any of it. Standards stay high to keep you safe. Okay? I really hope this advice is not get taken out of context. Like I'm actually kind of like worried about this because I usually talk about things that are a lot more cut and dry and direct, but this one is kind of like situational,

and this can be used to avoid responsibility, use coping mechanisms and like further victimize yourself, but I feel like you guys really get what I'm saying. But one thing I always get like in trouble for I get cans of free, and I don't care every every single time is when I talk about going through people's phones I'm so sorry, but I've talked about it before and I'm probably never gonna shut up about it. If you don't go through people's phone I wish I could be that naive. I wish I could be that dumb like your phone is literally like a

I wish I could be that naive. I wish I could be that dumb. Like your phone is literally like a means of communication. Like people have a whole separate life inside their phone. If you think I'm gonna date you or be close to you and not know what other life you're living and what you're up to, you got me confused with somebody who trusts people. But like with me being in the public eye,

it's gotten like times 10. A lot of people have bad motives. A lot of people have ulterior motives and they present. I'll just say that. Like a lot of people are trying to get to certain things and they'll step on whoever they have to step on to get there. I'm someone who I can clock it and I can read people's character and I can literally feel people's intent. Like I weirdly have an energetic thing where I can read people's character and I can literally feel people's intent. Like I weirdly have an energetic thing where I can feel people. But when you're someone like me where every single person in your life has blatantly lied to you, what are you supposed to do for reassurance and for certainty if people's words mean nothing. When it comes to

validating absolutely anything, what are you left to do? I'm waiting. You go ahead, throw me another solution. Like I check people's phones to see if they're actually doing what they say they're doing. If they're talking to who they say they're talking to, is there anybody else that's talking to that I don't know about? Are you being honest with me? Are you being upfront with me? I'm talking relationship at this point. I don't be that nosy with my friends. With my friends, I just go through the text and I search at the top Leo and I just see what they be talking about me to other people. Like I said, public eye, I need to check. What are

you saying other people about me? Are you talking about me negatively at all in any kind of way? Are you bullshitting with other people? Are you allowing other people to talk about me? Are people sending you my videos make a fun to me? And you're letting it go on. I'm checking everything. I don't trust that shit. It's like when people tell me They like me as a person. I Don't believe words out of people's mouths. Until someone does something to show me they like me or put an action behind it. I don't believe it. And it's usually only with the first time that it happens with someone.

And then I'll start to gradually like give them a little more like, meaning you see, like, I'll trust them a little more. It's like I'll take what they're saying a little more serious when they show me with actions. So when someone says I like you, I don't believe it. A lot of people just talk shit and they schmooze you and they try to be nice and try and make you feel good.

They're like, oh my god, we're gonna hang out. We're gonna hang out. This is so L.A. We're gonna hang out. We're gonna hang out. You never hear from them. Or oh my god, I love you so much. They're not talking about you five minutes later or somebody else.

I don't trust when people say that they like me until they've done something to kind of like show it or make it solid. And then I'm like, okay, they be saying what they mean. They're not just like blowing smoke up my ass trying to get something. Like the whole love bombing thing. That's kindergarten girl. That's kindergarten to spot a minute later. But back to my point when checking people's phones. When you are someone like us who words mean nothing, every single person in your life has lied to your fucking face. Like you're in dumb little three year old who doesn't know no better. You learn to stop trusting people's words.

When you need confirmation for something, I'm someone you better provide facts. If I hear or have a feeling, you're talking to somebody, or you went in met up with somebody, or you lied to me about where you were going for some reason, and I think you're doing some sneaky shit, I'm never playing that game in my own head of taking your word on it. I will never. I will never.

You better be able to show me a location, a text, a something to prove your ass. Like I'm never going in that because that's where I'm saying the people who get it are gonna get it. When I say, when you go through that, not knowing and just having to take someone's word for something and you were right and the turmoil that comes with that nope you best have proof babe or you better be someone like me who can speak so truthfully and so just honestly, you have no reason but to believe me.

I've not met somebody who can speak so authentically and so truthfully and relay it from so many perspectives where I give you proof by the way I explain things, if that makes sense. Like I can genuinely like convince you of something if you're worried about it or if there is no like hard facts, like I will literally sit there with you

and every single thought you have, I will sit there and let you have it. Like if you ask me a certain question, I will answer it. We can go through every angle possible until you feel complete and reassured and feel like you are like, okay, I'm confident in my decision to believe what you're saying. Because I'm willing to sit there for hours if it takes to give someone that piece of mind. Because I'm never someone it was fucking granted to. But I digress. My point is check the damn phone. It's easier than that.

On my final note, I just want to give you the last piece of reassurance of do what you need to do for yourself to feel safe, to feel secure, to feel comforted, cater your life to you. Do what you need to do so that you can perform and execute and meet your goals and accomplish whatever it is you need to do. Like the biggest thing I wanted so bad, like subconsciously was like permission from somebody, so I want to give that to you. Go cater your life to you. Stop resisting yourself. It should be like this. I should be able to do this. It shouldn't be like this. And just goddamn accept it, fix it,

and keep walking forward. You know we don't stop here. We just keep walking forward. We stab, we cry, and we get, Rrr, you keep walking forward. You don't stop. But that's a really big thing I learned with resisting yourself.

Don't, like stop. Stop resisting yourself and cater your life to you. And don't think twice about it. Don't think twice about it at all. Don't feel bad for setting up boundaries, don't feel bad for cutting people off, change the things, switching things up. Being less accessible to people

because of what you need to do, like me with my creative time, like you cannot access me. Sorry, like that's what I need to do for myself. Basically, be there for yourself first. And cater your life to you. And that is all I have for this week's podcast episode. If you liked it, leave it's video with thumbs up

and leave me a little comment and if you listen to the audio version, leave me a five-star rating. On Apple Podcast and Spotify, whichever one you want, or go to both and do what I'm both. I really love you. I will link all of my social media down below where you can follow me and keep up with me.

I'll also leave a link to my merch and my app. Everything you need for me will be in the description. Also, I will leave in the description, the link where you can get tickets to my first lab event. All the information you need will be in the description. If you're seeing this on Sunday, get ready, Guru. They gonna go fast. I'll see you soon.

But everybody be safe, take care of yourself. Go eat something good, and then kid your life to you. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday. Everybody be safe, take care of yourself, go eat something good, and then cater your life to you. And I will talk to you guys next Sunday.