Aware & Aggravated - 95. Make People Never Want To Leave You (Manipulation Tactic)

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

In this episode Leo teaches you how to gain the respect of those around you, and also prevent you from being left by people. He teaches you how to be taken seriously, be prioritized, and become the person people never want to leave. Hint: NEVER let them find you where they left you ;)   ✅ FOLLOW ME HERE: https://www.instagram.com/theleoskepi https://www.tiktok.com/@leoskepi https://www.snapchat.com/add/leoskepi   😁 WWLD Submissions: https://forms.gle/sNtQjjwvXUisfdgh9   👕 MERCH https://shopleoskepi.com/collections/   📱 MY APP POSITIVE FOCUS Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/positive-focus/id1559260311 Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.positivefocusapp&hl=en_US&gl=US&pli=1    🔒 MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT COMMUNITY  https://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref=sharehttps://m.facebook.com/groups/851294735925522/?ref%3Dshare&exp=7ffb&mibextid=I6gGtw    📝 ACCOUNTABILITY TEMPLATES/WORKSHEETS  https://leoskepitemplates.com   Business Inquiries: [e-mail]

Hi friends, this week I'm gonna teach you how to manipulate. Wait, I just go out the gate with it. Really, it's not manipulation, but kind of. I'm gonna teach you how to become the person that people can't leave. Not like that they can't leave or like dependent on you, but I'm gonna teach you how to become a type of person that people don't leave. And the way you do this is by never letting someone find you where they left you. Run that bag one more time. Do not ever let someone find you where they left you.

And that applies to people who have already left you before. And also it's going to prevent people from leaving you now. This is really just my way of getting people to respect you, your time and your company. They ain't going to leave you. So the way to do this is by prioritizing your own happiness, what you want to do, and making sure that you get to have the experiences you want to have, even if it means having them without certain people. So first step is getting prepared to do things alone, or just without whoever you intended to be with. I'm gonna give you

some examples that are gonna give you this whole image and paint it really nicely pretty for you. So it's digestible. And this applies to friendships and relationships. I'm not just talking about people you like bump and ugly is the way. Okay. We're talking about friends and relationships. It's really about all people and like teaching them to respect you and your time. But also I'm gonna teach you how to like, put it in their perspective and like, you're not gonna have to teach them. It's like a manipulation tactic to just like get them

to respect, we're gonna get into it, okay? So I wanted to go to Six Flags, real bad. I love a roller coaster, and I used to live near a place that had like roller coasters and stuff. In Houston, I never got around to going, whatever. When I moved to LA, there's a six flags, it's like 45 minutes away, like driving. So I'm like, let's go.

My sister was in town, and we both really wanted to go to six flags, and a couple of my friends wanted to go also, and there was probably like six friends, and they were all like trying to decide if they were gonna come or not. And that's one thing I don't put up with is flaky bullshit. So that's kind of thing number one. We're gonna hit that in another example, but everybody was like trying to coordinate plans

and make sure everybody could go to six flags, but everybody was like, see me like they weren't putting too much effort into giving me a solid answer if they're coming or not coming. So, I was texting everybody, I was getting responses, okay, the day is like going on, and I was like, the park closes at nine, but I don't wanna fight traffic, I wanna leave by at least like one to a clock,

so we can be there and enjoy the experience, because I'm driving for 45 minutes and paying $100 a a person six flags you shit I want to make sure we have fun and have enough time to like enjoy the park So I'm like our time is kind of convincing. So either get on the ship or get off So I was starting to like stress out trying to like get everybody organized and like planned out Because certain people wanted to ride with me and then certain people wanted to Uber and it was literally just turning into a mess so I looked at my sister because no one was giving me a definitive answer or not. They were like, I'll try and make it. Then it came time and like one was still working and wasn't

checking their phone. So I told my sister, you know what? If at 130 everybody is not either here in my car or Ubering there, I don't care. I do not care anymore. Like what we're gonna prioritize is me and you having fun. Even if I had to go alone, I wanted to go to Six Flags so bad, I would have gone by myself and my sister was down. Like she wanted to go just as bad as I did. So I was like, you know what, if they don't hit us back

by 130 and they're not here or like anything, we're leaving without them. So 130 came, we left, without him. So, 130 came, we left. As we're pulling in the park, well it's like a 45 minute drive, we're pulling in, then everybody's texting me back. Oh hey, like, I can be ready in an hour. My other friends like, oh my God, I just got off.

Like, I didn't see my phone, bitch was posting stories, I know he's on that phone. Anyway, everybody came with all these, like, oh my God, I want it to go, I want it to go. No, now you get to miss out because you didn't want to be punctual, considerate and like certain about if you're gonna go to this thing or not and that's one thing I don't do is wait around for people. I'm gonna go have fun regardless. So you can get on the boat or Don't but the boat's still leaving. Like I'm going to have my fun.

And I know a lot of people would get discouraged by this. Like oh my god, it's only fun if you go with the big group or whatever. But I don't operate like that. Like I'm used to doing a lot of things alone. But me and my sister had an absolute blast. We had a good time. We were pissed off with six flies because half the rides were down. But we had like a full day of it.

We enjoyed the ride there. We just talked shit, put a little music, had a good time, got half the rides were down. But we had like a full day of it. We enjoyed the ride there. We just talked shit, put a little music, had a good time, got to the park, had a blast. I ran into a lot of you guys, which was cool. Everybody wanted to like say hi, take pictures, it's cute. And then we drove home. But my friends that were kind of like being,

oh, I wanna go and then not like pulling through, I wasn't mad at them, because I'm not letting people play with my time like that. Like how'd I sat back and just accepted it and be like, oh well they didn't respond so I can't go. Like how'd I let my experience be dependent on them? Coming? I wouldn't have had the experience because they weren't like communicating the way that I do and the way that I appreciate. So that's where I'm saying. In shorting that you're gonna get to have the experience that I do and the way that I appreciate. So that's where I'm saying, ensuring that you're gonna get to have the experience that you wanna have is number one.

It's gonna take away a lot of your anger and hatred with people because your happiness is not dependent on them. Getting to do what you wanna do and what's gonna make you happy is not dependent on them. Like sure I could have been mad and be like, ah, they didn't respond to my text, so I just can't go. No, you could absolutely still go.

Don't speak that over yourself. And don't act like you can't have fun by yourself. I used to do so many things alone. Like I luckily had my sister, but we had an absolute blast. And I look you was like in the middle of it, like thank God nobody came. Because like it would have been a shit show.

But like you're fully capable of having experiences and doing things on your own. Like do not let anything be dependent on people like that. Like, if it's a little like nonsense thing, go have your damn fun. Because now, that set the tone. This was actually like a couple of months ago, but that set the tone for the people

that I was becoming friends with of, if Leo makes plans, you will get left out of them if you do not text back. Because everybody that didn't go was so upset. They saw I had so much fun. I got home and I was like, we were out and I was talking about it and they're like, oh, I wish I could have went.

Oh, well, stop it. So that's an example of something that you can kind of do on your own and you don't really need people for it. You can go give yourself certain experiences like that. But I wanna talk about a dumb little example of like going out. You know when you're like getting ready for a night out and certain people are being flaky

and they're like, you know there's certain friends that like when you go out with them, they kind of just do their own thing or they'll leave you or like what, I don't have friends like that. But I'm saying like, I know how people operate. I've weeded through a lot of people like that. But when you're making plans to go out and people are like not committing to a plan and you're not going to have peace of mind, like, okay, this is what I'm doing. Make plans with other people. That's what I do. And that's what I have done.

My whole life, like if I'm trying to make plans with you and it's like, okay, like we'll see, we're feeling it out. I guess at this time this time or like well, I'll let you know I'll keep you posted as soon as you start being flaky I'm over here texting other people that will commit to hanging out with me for the night and commit to going out and My night is now going to be with them and when I go out if I see this other friend Oh, hey girl. How's it going? Like I'ma be friendly, I'ma be cordial, but like, it's like, hey, it's like I'll see you when I see you If you're not gonna make a plan with me and like stick to it. Also, if you're out with this group of friends It's not like bad blood or like being bitter or being mad. It's like I want to have the security of like these are the people I'm going out with because like going out alone, I've done it. Not my favorite thing. I don't like it

This is why I wanted to give you two examples, but I have the separate group of people and that gave me like the peace of mind. I'm like, okay, I'm gonna have a good time. I'm gonna go have fun. I have like people to go with and like we're set for the night. And then every time usually the flaky friend would be like, oh my God, where you at?

And then I'll say where we're at and then they'll come meet us. But like, I am gonna find my security with who I want to find it with. If you're not gonna give it to me, I'm not gonna sit here and cry and be upset and get mad and not go out. If I want to go out and get fucked up and have a good time, I'm going to. And so I'm gonna go make sure I have plans with other people. I want to go out with like the solid feeling of like, I'm with these people. These are my people for the night. And then we go where the wind blows, that's when we do our thing. Other people are comfortable going out alone.

Like I said, if you are one of those people, I commend you, love you, you got big balls. Okay, I don't like it, it's not for me. But my whole point here is a lot of people would let their friends ruin their night. It's like, well, I don't know if I should get ready or not, because you're kind of like not texting me. And then it's like, the nights that you do get ready

and then they flake and it's like you're sitting there ready like a dick for no reason. Don't do that to yourself. As soon as someone starts being flaky, literally switch the plan. Make plans with other people to give yourself that foundation and it's like, if you have to leave that person behind, so be it.

I've done it and I've like gladly done it many times with the people that I like weed out and the people that I want to hang out with and be friends with. Like, there's party friends, there's go out friends and there's like real friends you hang out with day to day. So that's my thing. It's like, always have a backup. Like, I will never let myself fall with other people.

Like, if you're gonna be a little inconsistent and a little inconsiderate, I'm going to make sure I'm okay with someone else because I don't like that behavior. But every single time you do this, you are really going to mess with people's heads because it positions you different in their mind. Like you are going to be perceived by them as someone independent, someone with their own life, they're gonna become like excited by you, they're gonna become respectful of you, and they're gonna look at you like, oh shit, like you're not just some little kid or like some little baby waiting around for me, like I hate people like that.

Like they just sit around and like wait around for me to like make sure they get what they want. Then you'll feel that pressure with certain people of like, I know you can't take care of yourself and I know you're not gonna make sure you go have fun. So now I feel obligated to do it because I know you can't handle going to make other plans or you can't just go do it alone or do it with someone else. Like that's a lot of pressure.

A lot of people don't like to deal with and I'm one of them. Like I wanna know everyone around me is gonna make sure that they're okay And they get to have fun regardless of like Me or not I'm a type if I'm committed to a plan with you I'm committed to a plan with you. You're fine But you go and I'm saying like you know that person that's just like Sitting there by themselves and like there's so fucking needy

It's like ah like if God forbid you cancel or God forbid you don't want to hang out, then they make them not having a good night or them being upset your fault. Grinnell! We're not doing that. Like, you're not going to sit here and be mad at me that I don't want to go out. Because you only want to go out with me. Go out with someone else. If you desperately want to go out so bad, make sure that you get to have that experience. Go find some people. Or go do the damn thing alone, because the nights that I went out alone are low key some of my favorite nights. I can't do it now because I'm in the public eye

and everything's different, but like, that's why I'm saying I don't like it anymore. But when I used to go out alone, I would meet so many people and have so many random experiences and things would just fall into place. Like I never had a bad night Doing anything by myself shit just unfold So if you're someone that's scared of doing anything alone or without people trust me You never know who you're gonna meet on that little night out or that little day out wherever you're gonna

Go by yourself you never know who you're gonna come across you never know what experience you're gonna have Usually they're very good and you don't know what realization you're gonna have. Usually they're very good, and you don't know what realization you're gonna have, or what new awareness is gonna hit you, like what you're experiencing by yourself, like what new confidence you're gonna find that you've done that, and you had fun, and now you feel free, because you don't feel like you getting to do everything

is dependent on having to have a person with you. But when I said it, messes with people's minds, and it kind of repositions you into like a respectable position with them, is whenever you invite them to do something or you wanna do something and they start flaking and like fucking around with your time,

when you go do it anyway, and they see you go have fun and they see you still go through without it, you make them face the fear of being left behind. People don't like that feeling. People only feel left behind by people that they respect or want or enjoy being around. And when I'm saying with not letting people play with your time like that, it's going to put you in that new position where they do respect you and they do look at you in a

new light because you're not this like just little annoying thing they have to take care of. It will really just reposition you in their brain in the best way. Like they're gonna have no choice but to respect you and every single time moving forward after that, if they know you're gonna do it regardless, that pressure, a feeling like they have to do things because you're gonna be upset if they don't is gone. They're gonna feel nothing but I'm either gonna miss out or I get to go. And it's like a pressure-free decision of I wanna go do this thing with Leo,

or I wanna go do this thing with fucking Sally Mae. I don't know who your friends are. But that's what I'm saying. Taking the pressure off of their decision to do things with you is the best thing you can do. Like, it's an opt-in situation. Like, it's not an obligation thing. That'll push people off a lot and that'll make people fuck with your time a lot and not really

take you seriously. But if you take away obligation and give them just the freedom of choice of like, do you want to get on this little party bus at a night? Because like I would say party bus, like do you want to get on this little boat at a night? Because it's sailing. Regardless. So like hop on or hop off. Like it's still going. Like you see the safety in that and the feeling of like, now I'm gonna go. But if someone was like telling you you have to go, you're like, eh. Like it's not gonna seem as fun.

Does that make sense? So like the more that you make sure you get the experiences you wanna have and the less you tolerate people playing with your time and not being considerate, it's gonna make them feel like they're missing out because you are now something to miss out on. You now have that character trait and that just aura and a lore to you. Once you take accountability and like take ownership of you getting to do what you want

to do and making sure you have fun and not being scared people aren't gonna go, oh, that's shit. And do the damn thing, Grif. You got it. But one big point I want to say about this is you can, you, it's like a fine line. You got to walk them manipulation tightrope. Okay. So you don't want to give the illusion or the idea and kind of like the impression that you're unimpressed and you don't really care and you're indifferent if they go or not. Make it very clear and communicate. I really want you to come to this. I would love for you to be there, but they know you're going to do it without

them. So it's not like a pressure thing. So make it very clear. You want them there. Always invite people you want to invite. Don't play the whole like, oh, you blew me off. I'm going to blow you up. Sometimes you have to. I'm just talking to them like little experiences where it's like not that big of a deal,

like not where you have to cut somebody off. Don't give no chance about that. If they do something bad enough, or if it disrespects you bad enough, cut them off. Not with a knife. But you know, I'm always say do whatever your heart feels. I just wanted to bring that up

because you never want people to feel like you don't want them there. That's like the opposite of what you're trying to do. You want them to respect you and hold them in a higher place in your mind. And the way to do that is like I said, communicate and make it very clear. You would love to have them there. You're excited by them being there. Like you would like be happy for them to come.

But also like you get it if they can't come. Like take that pressure off because like I said, they're going to be left with that feeling of like missing out. Let them. Brief interruption. It's time for our first sponsor, for my podcast. With HelloFresh, you get FarmFresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to you. Do a step. Skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home-cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one meal kit. A new season calls for new meals, and HelloFresh has a fresh,

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And I don't have to say this, but thank you, HelloFresh, for sponsoring this episode. Now I wanna give you a little example when it comes to relationships. All of us can be applied to friendships and relationships, but I have an announcement. I've been talking to a guy and I like I'm a lot and everything is going great fine, funsy, but like this scenario started like

happening and he checked me real quick and that's why I'm so confident making this episode because I've known all of this but I just experienced the back end of it that will confirm it. So like everything's been going great and going fine, but like we're both busy, and I love that we're both busy, because leave me the fuck alone, okay? Like, be there when I wanna see you, but like leave me alone, you know what I mean?

So with both of us being busy, we're already out the gate, gonna feel respectful of each other's time. Like, it's obvious that we are making time to see each other and to talk and to hang out. So you're already like got that one little notch when you know someone's busy of like, all right, let's take it serious. But when homeboy didn't like wait around for me to make a decision, I heard my feelings. Oh my God, but it put me in check. Like it went into shape.

So there was a night that we were gonna go out to dinner and I was like at the office doing meetings and shit and then I was like working after and I wasn't checking my phone but we were like in the middle of conversation about like if we're gonna hang out and if we're gonna eat and I was like, oh I'll let you know like by this time. And I was actually late on respawning. I was like 10 minutes late. I was like, I'll tell you it's six. Like if I'm like gonna eat and I was like oh, I'll let you know like buy this time and I was actually late on

Respond like I was like 10 minutes late. I was like I'll tell you at six like if I'm like gonna eat or not and it was like 615 or some shit like 6 10 16 I don't know but I then I text them and was like yo like you still down for dinner and he goes I already ate Damn you can't give me the 15 minutes. I know that's a funny example, but like, him not waiting around was literally the hottest thing. And it's gonna make me come correct. Like, if you wanna make plans, you best make them. Like, he's busy just like me and he's gotta move things around too. So, I'm usually the one on the other end of it, like not waiting around for people,

but like, he didn not waiting around for people, but like he didn't wait around for me and it humbled shit out of me to be honest. I was like, woof, but I liked it. It was very attractive, very hot. Like, him sitting in the message of, like, you're not going to like, dick me around and I'm not going to let my life be dependent on you is the most attractive thing, but that's what I'm saying it puts people's mindset with you in the higher position of respect and like, endearment. Like I'm over here obsessed with this, and that's what I wanted to make an episode about it, because like start doing this.

But now when we go to make a plan, I don't play with his time. He hasn't played with mine, and I'm like, I feel like a little bad, like I didn't respond, but like, I was 15 minutes fucking like you know But the whole thing of like now moving forward If we make it a plan we make it a plan and it's like we're sticking to it We're being like very in check. We're very in very Consider it we're being very like nice about it like nice isn't the fact of like being respectful of each other's time because like I'll be damned if I miss out on a dinner again with him because I like

Missed him and I wanted to see him and like I responded like a few minutes late and he was already like oh I already ate I was just like ah but it was hot and it made me like want to see him more and I had to deal with missing out on Getting to see him that night Oh my god This is like the hottest thing you can do like don't be so dramatic with like this first time, like check to me, but like, girl, if you like are that dramatic every single time, enough.

Like if every single time I don't text you back, 10 minutes later you're gonna go eat and just fuck me on dinner, like forget about the plan, that's excessive, okay. But I'm just saying like this rattled me, and I wanted to talk about it, because I've known most of this, but now I

experienced the flip side of it and it's 100% true even to someone like me who has everything going on that I have going on like when you just do that whole like I'm not gonna let my life be dependent on you. Oh I loved it but like I said he said a whole different like tier in my brain now. I'm over here like Hey And that also breeds a lot of safety in relationships like when someone is not gonna make their life be dependent on you And is not gonna let their happiness be dependent on you like that is a safe person to be with because like You're not gonna over here just all of a sudden not eat because I didn't respond and then get mad at me like girl We grown, you know, but that's just like a very safe thing and I'm so attracted to it and I'm over here just like Okay, now the next part I'm gonna yell at you a little bit when people are flaky and like people

like Discipline or like be a little inconsiderate or you can't like do something or like someone blows you off Whatever when people are not being respectful of your time What are you gonna do? It's not cry. You're not gonna cry if you listen to me and you follow me and you like me. We know Zure Okay, and if we do nobody's gonna see it But for real like sitting down and crying about it's not an option get up and go have some damn fun Don't let someone else ruin your time like this is your chance to be alive

And if you're gonna sit here and be all upset and boohoo crack-crack because someone Disps the plan or someone like didn't text you back or is being flaky Okay a plan or someone like didn't text you back or as being flaky. Okay. Now what? Are you going to take control of a situation and then sure that you get to do what you wanted to do? Are you going to see him who cracked funny? What are we going to do? Because like I said, the nights where things are canceled or someone's flaky or something happens and you go through with what you wanted to do anyway when you follow that little happy feeling in you, you don't know what you're about to line up with. Like don't get sad that someone blew you off or canceled a plan or anything like that.

You might go meet someone better. You might go meet a friend, you might go have some life-changing realization. You might just go have a good ass night. You never know what's going to happen. So don't think the experience is over just because someone isn't like coming with you or doing anything, like going into a things alone is fine or going with just one person is fine versus a group. Like don't write off the night. It's not ruined. Like you're still alive. You still have a chance to be here. So go experience it. Like, go experience whatever there is to experience

because if this person is not going, you weren't meant to have this experience with them for some reason. So go and find out what that reason is. I told you I was gonna yell at you, but it's because I love you. This is all things I've had to learn the hard way. So go do what you wanna God damn do,

and like take a show of your life and go live it. Like just because someone canceled, it's not like, I know you're upset, and I like, I get upset by those things too, but like, I don't let it stop me at all. And that's the whole key here, is like, keep moving, because the person that bailed on you, when they see you go do whatever it is you want it to do anyway,

like I said, it's the reposition thing the next time they're not gonna be so Freely inconsiderate or whatever you want to call it like they're gonna be like oh damn It's so weird to say but like the more you are Yourself and the more you take care of yourself and prioritize yourself and ensure you do what you want to do The more friends you're gonna have, it's the weirdest thing, like the more people are gonna wanna hang out with you, the more that they see you're okay, and not relying on them for things.

It sounds as backwards, but I promise you, the first couple times you do it, and you just go through with whatever you want it to do. Everyone's gonna see it, and they're gonna see you very differently, and it's gonna feel like a pull toward them They're going to want to hang out. They're going to want to be around you because you're safe

You see your happiness is not dependent on them and people don't like that pressure So if your fear is not having friends This is weirdly gonna make you have more friends and have more people want to hang out with you Trust me. I've been through it all. Like, I understand it. And I've explained it right, so now you ain't scared. Like, I'm not over here just like shooting bullshit. Like, I explain both perspectives. You get it. You know it's the truth. Roof. What am I on tonight? I'm over here. All these dumb little jokes. I had one little note left that I wrote to talk about in this episode. I kinda already hit it with like a dinner plans thing, but don't sit around and like wait on people.

That's like, I already said it, but like I just wanna say one more time, so you get it. Don't sit around and wait on nobody. This is the time the ship is leaving. If you're not on it, here we go. Oh my God, one other thing I wanted to talk about was my live show. Oh my God, one other thing I wanted to talk about was my live show. Oh my God, it's sold out in 45 minutes.

Like the tickets to my show, so I don't have 45 minutes. I'm just like, I gotta watch my mouth. I gotta not freak out, but I'm like a little kid like screaming inside. But like one, I am so excited. And two, I am so appreciative that like, y'all wanna come see me so, but like y'all want to come see me so be like, I can't wait to hug you and say hi and like, this is just the beginning of me doing live events.

So if you didn't get a ticket, don't get you painting the tweets. There's going to be more. But everybody who got a ticket, just know you are going to be so glad that you did. Like, I don't know how to express to you how excited I am for what I have prepared to talk about on that stage about confidence and like the way that I'm gonna hit it. Like I really wanna record it and make it as a podcast episode and put it to the public, but other part of me is like no,

because we're gonna talk about like a lot of things I can't have online. Like that's why it's gonna be very private. But if you got a ticket, just get ready. Oh my God, I'm like, I have no words for how excited I am. Like this is about to change your life. That event, like we're all gonna walk in there and we're all gonna walk out different.

It's gonna change my life too, put on my first event. But like the way this is about to go, oh my God, I'm so giddy. I'm so excited, like I like punched the wall. It's gonna change my life too, put it on my first event. But like, the way this is about to go, oh my god, I'm so giddy. I'm so excited like I like punch the wall. That's weird. You remember the people in high school, like middle school that would like get mad, and they would punch the wall? Girl, just punch who you're mad at. That's how I did it. Ha ha ha. Okay, I'm rambling. But like, do y'all know about that? Like, people that would always just walk around with like broken hands is like, oh what did you do? Oh I punched the pole.

Why? Like you broke your hand for no reason. And you didn't even get who you were mad at? Couldn't be me. But anyway, I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who bought tickets to my show and I'm so excited to see you. Ah.

And that is all I've got for this week's podcast episode. If you liked it, leave it a thumbs up. And if you're on the YouTube version, leave me a comment down below. And then you audio people, hey ya, you can't see me right now cause you listen on Apple Podcasts, it's about a five, but drop me five little stars, okay?

Just five little stars. Thank you so much for your time. As always, all of my social media will be linked in the description along with my merch and my app and everything you need for me. So go look, I got a whole bunch of stuff down there. But everybody be safe, take care of yourself, and I will talk to you guys next Sunday. Oh, also I'm going to Paris.

Monday. So. Bye!