BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 1: Harness Your Feminine Energy and Manifest Your Dream Life

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

These are the 5 steps to harness your feminine energy and achieve the life you could only dream of. The biggest shift for me has been in being able to harness the use of my feminine energy, to stop struggling and easily create. I sincerely hope this episode helps you do the same. Check out www.margaritanazarenko.com for my 20 FEMININE ENERGY PRINCIPLES masterclass and more from me. 20 feminine energy principles : https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesales Amazon book list : https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenko Become Magnetic (Free Ebook): https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/ BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/being-her-with-margarita-nazarenko/id1679077626 https://open.spotify.com/show/7D9nPxiPw7gRcXuUwaVDIH How to become securely attached: https://youtu.be/TDGj1nAt_N8 How to detach: https://youtu.be/9rsLwtsBu6o Business Inquiries: https://www.mgmt.com.au/creator/margarita-nazarenko Email me: [e-mail] Talk To Me: https://snipfeed.co/margaritanazarenko/shoutouts/U2hvdXRvdXQ6NjM2NWM2MzkzYTIyZDMzYTE5MTJiMWZj?canGoBack=true --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/beingherwithmargarita/messageSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to Being Her, the ultimate guide to living your best life as her. Join me, Margarita, on an empowering journey to discover your feminine energy, build meaningful relationships and find your purpose. Let's dive in and explore all things womanhood together. It is the first episode, my loves. We are here. This is the podcast where we're going to explore all of those things. I suppose it would be wrong to start anywhere else, but on the subject of feminine energy. And whilst there could be millions of episodes on this, which we will get to, it is important to start from the story and the main things that I can tell you about feminine energy. So let's discuss it. And let's give you five pointers on how to create that in your life

starting today without any massive changes, but just some mind shifts that will really change how you think about femininity and what that means. My story with feminine energy starts, I suppose, from not having it in my life. I grew up with a single mother. And often it is said and found in research that when a woman grows up with a single parent who is a mum who has to work, who has to provide, who has to have both masculine and feminine energy, the mother often goes into her masculine energy, which the girl then emulates. I also grew up in the current world where feminine energy is often looked down upon and masculine energy is celebrated both in men and women. Ironically, actually, mostly in women, whilst feminine energy is celebrated in men.

So I grew up thinking that I've got to strive, I've got to achieve, I've got to survive. And that is a very victim mentality to have when it comes from somebody who wants to empower the feminine energy being a woman in this case. you have to prove that you can do it all alone you are not in flow you are not letting go and you think for some reason well i know the reason that is society it tells you that the more you achieve the more you push the more likable or lovable you will be that success means money success means power and success means being a version of a man in a man's world. We want to put ourselves in the paradigm of masculinity, the 9 to 5, the respect, all of those things. It doesn't come from

maybe raising children, which I'm not telling you is a good thing or something you should strive for, but if that is natural to you, then it should be. If it is natural to you to grow vegetables and live off the land, then that should be your version of success. Not everybody is designed, designated to be a worker in the 9 to 5 economy, but you've got to ask yourself, why is it that we're told to believe that? Now, that's for you to decide. I almost headbutted the things in my life that I wanted to happen easily. They happened so difficult. For example, relationships, ideas, my work, everything was just a forceful energy to me. And, you know, and took massive energy to make happen.

And I was looking at myself and thinking, well, why is it so hard to communicate with men especially? Why is it so hard to communicate with people? Why am I striving and pushing as opposed to enjoying and sitting back? Then I started to read more. And I opened to the fact that what we are taught is feminine isn't actually femininity.

For example, the archetype of the 1950s housewife. We are told that that is femininity, to sacrifice yourself for the family, to be the quintessential dormat, to just cook in the kitchen and put up with your husband's philandering basically. But if you think about the energetic principles of what feminine energy is, as opposed to it being gender roles, you find that femininity is being in flow. It's being creative.

It's being honest to your emotions, which means the housewife is in their masculine energy. She swallows her emotions. She goes about her day. As we know in the 50s, everyone popped pills and drank a lot in order just to get through it. It's a very masculine, driven, subsided energy that is not feminine energy. The pushing, controlling, striving, being competitive with other people, dressing in a certain way, conforming is not what feminine energy is. It's definitely beneficial for society at some point post-the-war era to have women want to be

in the man's paradigm of work. Now, I'm not saying that it's not beneficial for society and for women's liberation for us to go to work and do all those things. And this is not the episode for that. But what I'm saying is that there is a deep center of happiness that we as women share that comes from things outside of the paradigm of work. And I'm here to shift that, to explore other options, to glorify things that are normally perhaps not glorified. I am here to support things like raising children or, as I said before living in a different way. And I'm also here to glorify you if you genuinely do want to work.

Because sometimes when a woman adores her career, it's looked down upon because that is what we're all taught to do at the moment. So everyone needs their own individual process. And the idea of feminine energy can really help you even in achieving your career. We have gotten so far away from our nature and what we want. And that is sometimes to be appreciated and loved and looked after. And whether you are a mother or whether you are doing a 9 to 5 and working, there is a deep place of centered femininity where we want to be adored, worshipped, and seen as something of value in this world. That's why I think this kind of content has really resonated for a lot of people where they are identifying with the high value woman concept.

Now, that is more to do with being high value in the sexual marketplace, and that is not the thing for me. For me, it's the idea of you are born as yourself and you have this mission to develop yourself, to grow into the best version of yourself and to always progress. Because just like in nature, if there is no growth, there is stagnation. Things that stop growing and evolving die. That is the sign of death. Things become a swamp. Things become old and things become stale.

And you are given this one life and one body to progress and create something beautiful. and the idea of things being an obstacle in your life and for you to just be climbing the ladder and striving and fighting with men as opposed to having a union is something that's actually going to hinder you. Things like seeing motherhood as an obstacle as opposed to a blessing. There isn't frames in the society to support that and I think the first shift has to be with us, with women and in our minds and how that works. that family and community is powerful, that standing by that is powerful, and that there is something strange in glorifying hyper independence and being on your own journey for your own self.

We are a mammal and we are a spiritual being, and both of those things have connectivity and otherness and togetherness at the center of that. that it is not weak to want to be part of a community, that it is not weak to want to rely on a man because they also rely on us at the end of the day. I don't want you to be sold a concept just because it's a concept. I want you to have reasons for things you believe in, to dissect them and to really be happy in the life that you live

and in the things that you strive for. And I want you to know that there is a reason for why you are stressed, why you're overworked, and why it just all feels too difficult. That reason being, perhaps that you have been pushing from your masculine energy center for too long. And there is a place for masculine energy and it is my natural energy. When I really break down myself as a person, that is where I am powerful. But when I balance the two, oh my gosh, things really begin to thwart. thrive. So let's dissect the five steps that I want to implore to you of feminine energy to have a real shift in your life today, something that will make you feel at ease in your own body

and in your life and help you move through the space much more efficiently and successfully. The number one, if you've ever wanted to make a podcast, if you've got something to say, which I think all of you do, Spotify has a platform for you that you can do it really easily on. all in one place. It's free and you can even earn money. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone or computer, which is what I do. So no matter what your setup is, it's not complicated to start creating today. Then you can distribute it everywhere that podcasts are listened to. Then you can even monetize it. You can do a Q&A section. You can do polls and all these amazing things. Basically, it was really, really easy for me to do.

For me, the obstacle was the tech aspect, and I know a lot of you wanted to hear from me. So Spotify made it possible for me to create this podcast. So I'm really grateful. Download the Spotify for podcasters app or go to www. Spotify.com forward slash podcasters to get started. So, Paul, I want you to take on and think about is being happy to receive. Receptivity is quintessential and pivotal. to entering your feminine energy.

If you are not there to receive with grace and gratitude, then you will find life a struggle as a woman often. Yes, there is time to push, but there is also time to open up and say, okay, universe, I am here to take in what it is you want to give me and amplify that and glorify that. In receiving, you need to shift the idea that you taking from somebody or you being grateful for something is a weakness. Just because you rely on people around you, your partner, someone else, your friends does not make you weak.

It makes you powerful. The more allies you can have, the more people you can delegate to and rely on, the more of an empire, the more of a beautiful life you can build. You can ask for help. You can expect help. You can accept help and you can learn to accept it gracefully. In doing that, the first thing you need to do is understand that if something feels like a massive stress to you, whether it be in the household or somewhere else, it is okay both spiritually as a person and in personal growth to say, I don't know.

I love saying I don't know what I'm doing. I love admitting to the fact that I'm helpless in something and having people, whether it be men or women come around me and community do something together because let's not be it around bush you are better at some things than other people and those people are better than at the things in you even in the masculine energy when men build businesses together men are quite good at this in in working community and we are not we feel we've got to prove ourselves and that is from societal training that we need to prove that we are independent and can do everything by ourselves what is the point of it? And speaking candidly with you, one to one at the moment, you're not going

to get very far. It's very, very beneficial to have people around you help you and to embrace the use of the masculine energy. It is useful to you. It does not diminish you, but it elevates you. It elevates you and it can lift you. There is a reason. Even think of bees when the worker bees come and help the queen do what she needs to do. You need to deploy that queen energy as opposed to thinking that it makes you weaker, it makes you stronger to have people around you, work around you, especially the masculine. They are so good at taking on stress at physically or otherwise. They are so good at being oriented towards one goal and achievement. And often I hear women talk to me about relationships where he does not want to do something for you. But that's because the goal has not

been set. I think there is some feminine wisdom in the fact that if you want him to do something for you, you need to be totally appreciative of what you have and set the bar just a tiny bit above what he is currently doing. If you have a man who is currently doing five out of ten and you say you want 100, that's going to make him feel discouraged. If you say that he's not good enough of what he's doing, that's going to make him feel discouraged. The place of real beauty and real poise and real and real attraction is where you say, you know, just a little bit more than what you're doing, and that can elevate your whole relationship to really manage people around you in their strengths and to go from there. You will become irreplaceable because of how you allow him to fulfill his needs

of being needed. So let me say that again, the only way to become irreplaceable is how you allow him to fulfill his needs of being needed. It is not. from doing everything for him. No man in his masculine energy or otherwise, no human being wants to feel like they have everything done for them, that they have no use, that you are that quintessential mother doing everything for them. I think the key is really letting go of your ego when it comes to doing everything alone. When we are single and we ask a man to help us and we see his willingness to do so is a really good beginning of a relationship also. It's not just about having a man in your life. I think a really good way to interact with the masculine even when you are single is to ask

them to do things for you which are achievable. It's not about insane dates and them taking you out and spoiling you and all this kind of entitled situation that we have going on as women at the moment. But to let him serve you in ways that sees your happiness come towards him when he does that for you, like getting something, reaching something, giving you advice, all those things. You need to let men be the giver. The energy flow is better when he can worship you, give to you, you give him that feminine recognition in what he does. But the key here, and I don't want you to miss this one,

is to not demand things from people. It's all part of that interaction and a part of that flirt, whether it be with your partner or it be with a man you've just met or started seeing, don't demand what it is you're asking for. There has to be, in being the receiver of energy, a kindness and a gratitude and a willingness to accept a no. If he said he can't do something, he can't do something, the more you're accepting of his limitations

and are more open to keep asking for things and getting a no and then getting a yes and then getting a no and then getting a yes, the more you're going to have the energy flow be easy because if you are mad every time he doesn't do something and you feel he's let you down, it's just going to make him not want to have that interaction with you. So be open to receiving, but also be flexible to having him not do it and not all the time. We create the men that we are with and men meet the standard that we as women set globally

in your relationships, in everything. You need to require things, but also be gracious in getting a no. And remember, this is a big one for a lot of women that we do not owe them anything in return. turn. That even took a while to get out because a lot of people feel that way. If he's bought your coffee or taken you out somewhere, my rule is if you feel that you're going to owe him something in return for that, do not accept it. And then go home and sit down with yourself and wonder, why is it that I feel I owe someone some kind of sexual favor or performance for a coffee? How did I get raised in order to believe that? It is their own prerogative that they decided to give me

something in order to see my joy reciprocated, why do I now feel that I've got to jump through a hoop in order to thank them? And the best trick is, if you really feel you owe him something and he's willing to buy you dinner, you can literally say to his face, I would love to take you up on that, but then I feel like I owe you something. And he will literally tell you, no, you don't. It is very good to be open. I wouldn't say that personally, but if you are really feeling up in arms about it, ask the person. Also, this is a big one. When you're you, you are in the receiving role and you have the world working for you in your favor in flow and happiness many women will try and deter you because that is not how they've been conditioned

they will think you're using people they will say all these negative things about you because women are my favorite thing on this earth as you know from my podcast and everything i do i want to be better i want women to be better i believe in all of this but women have a natural competition with each other. It's just a natural thing. Not all women, not your family, or sometimes even your family, but do not let women deter you who do not have your best interests at heart. Let them live how they want to live. Do not get in anyone's business. It is not your business, not your circus, not your monkeys. Tell them thank you for recommending to live their lifestyle, but it is not for you. Also, do less. Ask for assistance. If you have a man in your life,

stop doing the things because you think he's doing them wrong. Just let him do what it is he wants to do in order to help you and be thankful. It might not be right. It might not be perfect. But you're not going to get far in life by thinking that you are the only human being who can do things. And everyone else is an imbecile who can't. You need to let go of that steering wheel and try living in flow for a little bit of your life. It will really serve you.

Let's go on to number two. Develop how you communicate, especially with the masculine energy. We operate as women from a place of logic in order to communicate with men. This is a recipe for disaster. You can fight with logic. I, for example, can often fight with logic very, very well. I'm a very logical person. I think more than I feel.

But I know that if I want to affect a masculine energy being, I need to go into my feelings. And I need to enter my feelings. I need to express them. You need to learn who you are, to honor what you feel. Stop suppressing what you feel. feel. You do not need to always out logic everything. You need to learn not to attack people and bulldoze them with your logic, but to sometimes say, you know what, I don't want to do this thing

because I don't feel to. And to lead with, I feel this or I feel that, especially when you feel the resentment hit you, when you hit the wall of not being able to do anymore. When you're in a relationship and maybe you have children and you're doing everything, everything, everything, everything. and you have these conversations again and again about, well, I think you should because you did bath time before, this one or that one, or maybe you're dating and you keep going onto his side of town and you try and out logic him

and you're trying to communicate in that way. There is no need to, even in your relationships with your family. If you want to step into your feminine, sometimes you need to communicate with, could you please look after the children tonight? I really would feel that would be amazing for me. Thank you. I feel tired.

I feel exhausted. Not you didn't do this or you didn't do that and berating people. I don't feel like going to your side of town tonight. I would make me so happy if you came here. Feeling. Not telling a reason why. Not always having to explain yourself. Never complain, never explain is the slogan that I would have tattooed on me if I wanted a tattoo.

Because sometimes to step into your power and your vulnerability, you have to confess to your feelings. and not have to excuse them for logic and reasons why. You need to learn that the masculine wants you to be happy, not good. You don't have to be always useful, always driving to the side of town, always doing the best thing by everyone, working, working, working, serving, serving, serving, because at the end of the day, you will be a shell of yourself, you will be resentful and you will be angry, like this tiny little rat in the corner,

hissing at everyone and spitting. You know the ones you see when you turn your phone on and they're trying. trying to rescue an animal and it's all going wild in the corner. You don't want to be that because that's hard to approach. That's hard to do anything for. You are the keeper of you, so you need to stop before you've depleted yourself. And you need to understand in communication with the masculine that putting them down will not motivate him, but inspiring him will.

Speaking into him, the great things he's done, how grateful you are. There is even a theory where in order to make somebody shift and do more, you need to speak to them as if they are already that person. Instead of you never do this, you never do that, you lead with, I loved it when you did this, or you're the type of person who's always there for me, or you always are so kind to me. And I rebuked this and fought against this like a bucking bronco for the longest, but the reality is, I tried it and it works.

people step up when you say, I trust you, you are there for me, you are amazing. They start to really hustle in order to not break your expectation. That is the thing. And remember, in communication with the masculine in your life, you are the emotional powerhouse of the relationship. That is your job and you need to do it. You set the environment. You can make them happy. You can make them sad.

We have extreme emotional power as women and we need to harness that. I'm not going to compete with a man about physical strength, fantastic. You can be strong all you like, but I know I'm emotionally more powerful. Yes, they're more logical, but they are more vulnerable. And the setting of my relationships with my husband and with men in my life is set by me. You have to deploy a positive attitude and things will be attracted to you. Flexibility, positivity, lightness. And that will come from point number five, but we'll get to that later, how to cultivate that happiness.

You need to remember that in arguing with masculinity, you don't always win when you win because resentment builds. You need to influence people with positivity, with leading them, and have long-term plans. By long-term plans, I mean, have an idea of the culture that you want to cultivate in your life, the people you want around you. Lead with things that are going to inspire them. You have a role as a leader in that field in your family. use your feminine wisdom, not aggression and force because you will push people away. You can create abundance without pushing and forcing. And trust me, if you want to attract people and you want to communicate with the masculine,

do not lead with how much money you make and what you can do for them and what you bring to the table and all this garbage that's been fed to us. Lead with what you already are and what you already have, and that is your femininity, your wisdom. That's what you can bring in that life, not anything physical or tangible. Let's move on to part number three, and that is wellness. Your body is your temple, my love. You need to prioritize your well-being above all things.

Sometimes we grind ourselves into the ground thinking that we're doing so much, but again we come back to point number two where we have not much to give. It is movement. It is your body. It is food you put into your body. A huge feminine principle is treating your body like a temple because that is what it is. How can somebody worship you as the goddess that you are if you are not treating your whole body like the temple that it is. There is beauty and then there is health.

And if you really think about the concept of beauty, it is basically health. It is teeth. It is hair. It is skin. And no, we're not all blessed with those. God knows. I've worn braces two times in my life. But it is about those things. We all have different features.

I like to think about focusing on people who look like me, not, who don't look like me. I have Scandinavian style features. That is what I focus on bringing out. I do not focus on looking like J-Lo. That's not going to happen for me. I don't have a curvy butt and all those things. My body shape is different. A big tip for me is to look at people who look like you.

And when it comes to age, if you are 35, 45, stop looking at 18 year olds and trying to compare. It is not that you can't win because you've got other assets that they don't, but it's about feeding your Instagram feed, for example, there is a function when you can favor it things. It is about favoring the things that you know will amplify you as opposed to what won't, the women that you can emulate, how you can go forward. forward, not lamenting about what you don't have. I don't have long as Moralda hair. I wanted to be her when I was growing up watching the Disney movies, but I look different and I appreciate that and I focus on that. It's about picking a part of yourself constantly and thinking, how can I amplify this

part? Okay, today it's my teeth, then it's my hair, going on your own journey and being completely obsessed on that journey about bettering yourself. I learned that in this really interesting way when I grew up completely ignoring how I looked. I was completely out of touch with anything about my physicality. I had no idea. I ate garbage food. I did not care. And then I stumbled across Miss Universe. A person I met called David Douglas saw me and said, you know, you should do Miss Universe, but you need to do ABC, D, FG to your looks because that's not going to happen otherwise. And I had a competitive kind of masculine streak in me. So I went for that and I realized, my God, beauty is manufactured. It is not a reality.

nor is movement nor is how you hold yourself slow down have some grace watch incredible movies of women you want to emulate is it angela joly are you more of a marilyn monroe what is it you want to be focus on your outer body not in a vain way but in a way that what can i make out of this look at this potty that i have look at this play-doh that i have what can i make out of it okay so it's this age so it's this look so it's this way okay what are we going to do what are we going to do? Who can I emulate? What can I do? Because it's all about movement, wellness, all about that. So you can be worshipped for exactly who you are. And that is a big, big thing. Number four is you've got to put yourself first contrary to popular belief. It is not

about putting yourself last, doing, doing, doing. It is about saying, what is it that I need to pour into others. I've told you, you are the emotional powerhouse and the center. You are the kitchen of the home when it comes to relationships, right? You need to pour something into others. So therefore, you've got to become self-obsessed and self-focused and selfish. Yes, those words are aggressive and I'm using them on purpose because I want to break you out of the paradigm that you are the servant of everybody and you should just give, give out of emptiness. You need to give out of inspiration. You need to take the metaphorical light of focus and shine it on yourself. What are you doing? Who are you? What have you got to bring?

how can you inspire? What are you learning? What are you doing every day? What is it that you are offering? If you're always chasing after other people, especially men, remember sperm chases the egg, not the other way around? If you're always chasing after them, it will not serve you. Not because it is old fashioned and we can now all chase each other and that is fine, but because you're taking away a vital part of what makes everything work. It makes you feel good to be chased and it makes the man feel good to chase you. In biological terms, the reason that it makes you feel good to be chased is because you need a man to meet a certain level of effort in order to show you that he's actually interested in you, because before contraception came along, you sleeping with him could mean that you get pregnant. So in what beneficial area would it mean that you just sleep with Tom,

or Harry, and do not make them pass a test of long-term investment in chasing. Because we have a bias, naturally as women, biologically speaking, a study says, of not seeing a man as so interested in you until he performs this chasing maneuver. Because you are testing to see, is he going to stick around if I do fall pregnant? You might not fall pregnant now, but your prehistoric brain does not know that. And men's bias is to see interest from all women because it actually serves them to sleep with women in order to spread their seed. So they see interest in everyone. They think the cashier smiled at them. They think the lady was, you know, kind of cute and looked at them at the bar. Everyone wants

him. We all know those guys who just think everyone wants him because that is their natural bias. While with us, we've got something to protect. And that is if we fall into motherhood, it takes many, many, many years, at least 12 years until that person is slightly self-sufficient. So we cannot give the trust of just believing everyone's into it. us and chasing men because it's not beneficial to us. Why would we chase a man in order for him to get us pregnant and we're locked down for 12 years looking after a child? Let him chase you. It is natural for him to want to do that. It is natural for him to want to feel that he's achieved something. And if it doesn't even come to men, let's remove them from the conversation for a minute.

Let's just talk about pouring into yourself first and putting yourself in a good place to become something to give to others from. It is absolutely imminent. You cannot give from a emptiness, you have to. Just in terms of you're walking through the supermarket or the more and someone's texting you wanting something from you. You need to put boundaries in place. Everybody does not need to be answered straight away. You don't need to be dropping your money and your keys in order to reply to everybody. That is not how you move through this world. People can wait for you. Things can wait. Take your time. Have some grace with yourself. It is not that deep. The center of feminine is.

is around creativity and flow. So that is number five. I have hardly worked for someone in my life because I'm a terrible employee. I'll be first to say that. I'm a good creative and I'm good at leading, but I'm not good at not thinking of new concepts and new ideas. So even if I am somewhere working for somebody,

I am thinking of new ideas. I think there is a massive place for creativity when it comes to being in the feminine. It does not mean painting. It does not mean writing a book. It does not mean doing any. of those things, but it does mean that there is a lot of space to understand what creativity means. When I moved to Australia, because my husband is Australian from England, and I was acting

in England at the time, I opened a YouTube channel, I started a blog because that creativity was coming through me. I did not make money on those things for up to three years. It was for the purpose of creativity. And there is an idea behind women's work and what amplifies us and what doesn't, And we're all different. But I do believe that in order to flourish in your creativity, that even if you have a job that has no creativity in it, you need to find something outside of that that does, something that has flow,

something that you can create, something that, like for me, when I was still acting and that is a creative job, yes, but I was also creating YouTube content. It was just something that made me feel connected to that part of myself and that center. And often, when we go into the role of motherhood,

we can change these creative pursuits because it takes so many hours of making ourselves excellent at it into a career and that gives us the power of both having money and being close to our children so i would say that as soon as you can hone down on some creative pursuits and if even if you don't want to create read learn more no more hone your language hone who you are as a person become interesting become an asset so those those are the five points this is our first episode i really hope you enjoyed it i hope you got something from it and all of these conversations can be had i think we will add a question and answer segment at the end of these episodes which i am very excited for and we will go from there i am so excited to have you back

on next week's episode where we're talking about soft life so let's talk about that then i'll see on the next one. Love you lots like jelly tots. Bye.