BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 102: Why he’s losing interest & how to get your power back

Episode Date: March 2, 2025

Is he pulling away? Acting distant? Losing interest? In this Q&A, we’re breaking down why men lose interest and, more importantly, how to get your power back. If you’ve ever felt like you’re giving too much, waiting for a text, or wondering where you stand—this is for you.💌 Join my private community, House of Her for exclusive Q&As, live sessions, and deeper conversations on feminine energy, relationships, and confidence: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/house-of-her🔔 Subscribe for more on feminine energy, glow-up tips, and becoming Her.Let me know your biggest takeaway in the comments! 💬See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're almost going to have a little day in the life of, well hardly, but it's a new little format. I'm here. I'm parked outside this beautiful skin salon. I am trying to put myself first a little bit in my life, just a little bit, okay? And I've just done a Q&A on my Instagram, and I'm just going to go through a few questions. I'm then going to get this beautiful, my strizing facial. If you guys are in Sydney, it is the parlor room in Redfern, and they also have one in Clavelli. but I have two days where I have help with my kids.

Two days, guys. It's crazy, but I want to come on here and answer your questions. I feel like they're building up and, yeah, building up like my skin is building up with crap on it. And I've got two new names. I've got two new names for this podcast because you know I'm always addressing Jessica. Today we've got Katerina and today we have Amy. Amy and Katerina, you're going to get the work. How do we maintain black cat energy through online?

dainting and messaging. Number one, I would encourage you to be out and in places where you potentially see the type of man that you would want to potentially be with and go there. If you must date, Amy, if you must date online, that I would maintain two rules of the black cat energy. Do not get attached to any random just because they're cute. We don't care if he's cute. He's just got to be a little bit cuter than a monkey, okay? We care about his actions, not his face because his face is going to get old very quickly, okay? I don't mean aging old, as in like the cuteness is going to get old. We don't care about that, okay?

Your rules for messaging and all this stuff is you put out the feelers. Like, hey, you're cute. It's fine to be the one who drops the handkerchief. That is the thing. You drop the handkerchief and then you move on with your day, okay? So you drop the handkerchief. You can approach them, you can message something, but you're not going to pursue anyone because you are two things.

hard to get but really fun to be with you are fun to be with but hard to get how do i inspire my husband of eight years to initiate sexual intimacy more often this question is so prevalent i talked about it on the last episode with adam lane smith who is an avoidant male expert a lot of times these days men are starting to avoid sexual intimacy hello bus thank you for the authentic bus noise So they are starting to avoid sexual intimacy, and that has got a lot to do with how they are feeling, yes, in the world, yes, it's stress, yes, it's all those things that Vasopress and bonding. Check out the Adam Lane Smith episode if you haven't seen it. But more so than not, male attraction is based on yes, your looks and your bum and all that stuff. They love a bit of that, but it's how they feel, if they feel like the hero around you, if they feel all these things.

I don't know what it is about them. I have no scientific research behind this. I'm sure there is. It is out there. But every woman who have consulted, every woman I know, as soon as the woman starts chasing the man outside of the first like six months for sexual intimacy, the man starts to run away. There was something about that moose standing on the front door step, knocking on the door.

Hello, hello, he's knocking. You don't need to hunt me. You don't need to catch me. I'm right here, Moosey McMoose. No, okay, Samantha. Was that one of the names? No, Katerina. No, Katerina.

What you've got to do is one of the most attractive things to human beings is when they see their partner or anybody else in the state of flow. So when you're doing, when you're crushing it, we're doing the thing you're doing, what you think that I haven't had periods in my life where I've been with my husband 12 years, we've married 10 or something like that. And there's been times when I've been needy, I've been anxious, all that stuff, trust and believe, that is not the times he's chasing me. but the times when I'm in flow doing my thing, like just being the best version of her, that is when he will not leave me alone and it's actually a bit of a pain in the ass. I'm not going to lie.

Do you know what I mean? So you need to have two missions. Number one, stop chasing him for validation. Stop asking questions. Stop asking how you look and address. Stop asking things in general, how he's doing, how he's feeling. Remove all mothering energy. Nobody wants to sleep with their mother.

Nobody wants to sleep with their mother. Nobody wants to sleep with somebody who's always telling them to take their vitamins do their thing and that and that everyone men are very attracted to women who give them freedom and fun it might not be the case you might have small children but if you can give the illusion here is the crux ladies the illusion of fun feminine energy that is always the woman that they tend to cheat with tend to okay is the woman who makes them feel like a hero and the woman who makes it feel like she is giving him freedom and fun you need to be his own mistress right you need to have that mistress energy Next, how can I work with you?

Funny you should say that. We are launching me and my team of a few girls. That's who I work with just a few girls. I love them. The irony is that a lot of them are having babies, and I love that. I love to work with women who are having babies who are in this stage of life. Like, it's a vibe for me. Anyway, we are launching a community where everything falls under that umbrella,

where I will be engaging with you directly, where I will be answering your questions directly. That is the way to do it. If it's already launched, then it will be in the description box. and if it's not, then watch my stories and I will get it to you there. Next question, and I have not seen these, by the way, so boyfriend pays on dates, gay flowers for Valentine's Day,

but modes about the cost afterwards, help. He's moaning about the cost, but in reality, he's moaning about your lack of appreciation. Just make a joke out of it, make lightness out of it. That is your feminine wisdom. Deploy it.

Do not do, oh, then fine, don't get it for me next time then, Todd. No, just go, oh my God, baby. I know, I know, but I know a man like you. It's not too much to give it to a girl. Like, just make a joke, make light of it, make humor of it, be like, I know, these things are so amazing. My husband does that. He tells me how much the flowers cost.

It's because they want more appreciation, okay? Next question. Is life better in your 30s? In general, just stop taking men so seriously, girls. Sorry to interrupt my own question, but stop taking men so seriously. You guys take them so deeply seriously in everything, but you cannot, you cannot take the male species that seriously. You need to have a little bit of laissez-faire, a little bit of easy-examined. breezy, breezy cover girl cosmetics about it because that is the way you're going to get the most out of them.

And I'm sorry, I hate to sound manipulative, but that is the way you're going to get the most out of life, okay? Is life better in your 30s? I'm afraid of turning 30 in a few years. I have a theory, okay? It's the age theory. You will feel old at different times in your life. And look, I'm not going to be one of these people who sits here and be like, yeah, it's fabulous to age. Who cares? Because essentially, and I hate to get deep and serious, but aging reminds us of the fact that life, this video game that is so fabulous and amazing, is going to conclude. Yes, it is going to conclude, and that sucks because I want to see the beautiful sky and the trees and play with my kids forever. And that is why we need to be grateful, but I digress. I believe that when you're a kid, if you remember correctly, you just want to grow up, right?

And then you feel like you're old for a kid when you're like 12 or 11. Like, I'm a big kid now, you know what I mean? and then that time comes again when you're like, you know, young, you're 16, 18, you feel like a young person, you get the vibes, you get all the lingo, you understand like society, you are the heartbeat of what it is to be young. And then you start to feel tragically old at the age of like 27, 28, 29, 930 because you are the old of the young generation, okay? Then at 32, 33, you start to feel young again, almost like an 18, 16 year old, of the middle demographic group. okay, you are now young adult. You are now the young of the adults, okay? Then, in your mid-30s and later 40s, a lot of women tell me that they have a life crisis. My mom's told me this of feeling older when you're like 45, okay, or 50, that you start feeling like the old of that middle

range. Now my mom just turned 60 years old, triple 20, we call it, okay, as a joke, but you start to feel young again because at the end of the day, 60 for the older demographic, for the mature woman is young. You've got so much life left if you live it right. You've got like 40 years left, right, if you're living to 100. Or let's be real on say 90, on average, you've still got 30 years left. So again, it's almost like you get these three acts in life. So yes, I know you feel old turning 30. I know because you are old for young children. But you're about to feel young again, you're about to be a young, middle-range person. You know what I mean? And I went through that crisis. And it wasn't because I'm like, oh my God, I'm wrinkly, but a lot of the women identify and

get identity from our age because listen to any biologists, listen to anybody, men's value comes from how much they can provide because that's what they used to do for our children and ours comes from what are youth? I know, it's so annoying. But if we can look younger, that gives us more value in men's eyes because we look fertile for longer and it's all biological and boring and you can elevate from that and let's be honest okay no matter what you look like or who you are men will still swipe right on you so please don't worry there is someone there is a customer for what you're selling and trust me 30 is young for 60 and 60 is young for 90 so whatever age you are in 10 years you would kill to be that age again okay told him I would love to meet his family but 20 months

in and still haven't, what are your thoughts that he is not serious about you? How to be confident after a breakup. See it as a cleanse. See it as opportunity to do more for yourself. See it as a evolvement. See it. Choose. Choose. Life is about choice. Choose to see things in a positive light. How to balance showing initiative towards a man and being in your feminine energy. Flirty. Make the first move. I like you. Da-da-da-da. But then when he's planning dates last minute, you're too busy hard to get hard to do things with if it's if it's a last minute never upset about his actions you don't care about his actions he's not that important men are not that important they're not the center of our life they're a nice cherry on the cake or on the side if he makes

your life wonderful restaurants pays for things makes you laugh great if not he's not important guy i really wanted just found out wants a girl who looks like me and went to school with well the card had on for you there because she has these characteristics that I'm telling you about that make him feel a type of way around her. What does femininity in business look like? Femininity in business looks like prioritizing the flow of that business and what you can do without massive sacrifice to your well-being, without pushing, but from creativity. Men are great, the masculine is great at pushing. And the feminine, what we are good at is flow and creativity.

You know, creativity is the thing that is most sought after at the moment. Everyone is a consumer. Everyone sits on social media. Swipe, swipe, swipe. I even have to stop myself. I try to be present in my life. With my children, I also work on social media.

I have to physically put that thing down and come from a place of creation. You as a woman have a natural creative essence to you. So creating a feminine business where you can also look after your children, do everything. And not all the time. Forget the 9 to 5 is the essence of feminine business. But business is a masculine thing. So it's okay to mean you're masculine sometimes. How do you stay in feminine energy

when your life is in chaos due to tragedies? Do you know what, darling? If you, I'm a very literary person, literal, okay? Tragedy, tragic. I'm presuming and assuming something horrific happened, okay? And I'm going to tell you from a reality. Feminine energy is life force. Feminine energy is chaos. Feminine energy is picking up your cubs, your children, and making sure that they survive and they are okay. Feminine energy is nature itself. Feminine energy is chaos. So there is nothing better than feminine energy for chaotic times in your life. Why? Because you can weather the storm. Sometimes a man who is structured and is masculine or people in their masculine break like a stick that they are rigid. They break.

when chaos occurs, but as a feminine woman, I am imploring you to understand that femininity is about power. I can get, with my emotional strength, people through anything, I see it as my job to get my family through emotional situations. That's my job. You can do it. If not you, then who? You can do it. Why can't I buy your book in Germany? I want to make my book available everywhere. I talk to the publisher all the time. They are sick of me. I nag them. It's usually available on Amazon and when the bookshops have it, it's usually stocked. Just Google the new rules in the location that you are in and there should be a way to buy it. No question. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for being inspired. What if true love isn't cut out for us women, not meant for us? How do we find that?

You know, I just kind of started reading the question and I was like, forget this question because it's like such a philosophical big question, but I read it. So what is love? why is the purpose of love connection is the purpose of love because connection is how the human animal survives when we have connection and closeness we have a high chance of survival

due to the fact that in communities how we thrive okay so the idea of the soulmate the idea of the one is just there in order for your survival to increase it's wonderful it's fabulous it's the human experience life has the meaning that you give it What do you mean not meant for love? What do you mean? Love is cultivated. Love is an action.

I do everything for my children every day, therefore I love them. And yes, I have the instinct as their mother to love them. But love is an action from constantly loving something. You cultivate the attachment to it. So if you choose to not be loving, be for love, then it won't be for you. Where do you find strength or motivation to keep fighting on being the best version of yourself? because I'm terrified of being the worst version of myself. Why am I going to PT? Why am I doing all these things when I could relax? You know, I have somebody help me two days of the week,

two days of the week and my husband works every day of the week. Yes, Saturday and Sunday, Rebecca, yes, Saturday and Sunday. And I want to, do you think I don't want to watch Housewives? Do you think I don't want to eat? I was supposed to say bonbons. I don't even know what a bonbonn is, okay? Do you think I'm more scared to carry excess weight and carry extra weight. and carry extra weight as well as my children because that is hard.

It's way harder than eating correctly. For me, it's keto and protein-based and going to the gym to weight train because you know what else is harder? Having back pain that I have from two injuries. I had a whole foot reconstruction in crutches for a year, my friends. And then I also had a back injury. That is way harder than going to the gym and making sure that I can carry my children and support them in every way I can, yeah?

it's harder to carry excess weight. It's harder to not work on my business, which is a feminine-centered business and not have money to support my children. I am very others motivated like a lot of women are. My business only took off financially when my son needed stuff and my husband was like, well, we need to save for this, say for that.

I was like, save for this, save for that. We're not saving on my child. Listen, I'm going to make money quick. And very others motivated. So there's hard and there's harder. For me, it's easy to end up being the best version of myself because I also get one go around this earth. You know what I mean? I get one go around this here planets.

And I don't want to be unhealthy, sad, alone. Like, I would rather do the hard thing now in order to live in the best way possible. My biggest fear is to not live to my highest potential. I don't know about you. And still, and still, I feel like I need to live to my highest potential more and more. One last question. since you ask one last question, okay? Since you're asking me so much, okay, we'll stay for one last question.

Why is being a working woman so exhausting? Because we're not meant to work in a male paradigm. We're not meant to work a nine to five because we're meant to work more in the community sense with our children, on our children and a more creative way. The work idea has been made by men for men in this society and that's not how we're meant to work. It's exhausting and it doesn't feel right because it isn't. Take things off your plate. take them off your plate. If he's not helping you, stop doing things. Just stop doing them.

Not begrudgingly like a rat, like an angry rat, but happily. Be like, it's not for me. I'm not doing it anymore. Sorry, baby. Oh, but you mast, our house is dirty. Oh, well, Bob's your uncle. All right, guys, buy my book, buy my journal. Let's work on ourselves because we owe it to ourselves. All right. Love you lots. Bye.