BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 105: The Fastest Way to Get Your Power Back? GLOW UP

Episode Date: March 23, 2025

Feeling lost, drained, or like you've given your power away? It’s time to take it back—fast. In this episode, we're diving into the real glow up: not just skincare routines and aesthetic upgrades (though those help), but the inner shift that changes everything. This is about becoming magnetic, reclaiming your self-worth, and walking into every room like you own it. Whether you’ve been through a breakup, a burnout, or just feel off your game, this is your wake-up call. The fastest way to get your power back? Start your glow up—mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. Let’s go.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Listen, she's back in the car. She's back in the car without a setup without anything. I just drove away like a wild swan today. I just flew out of the nest. My nanny arrived and I was like, I'm gone because I need to tell you guys this, right? I did an episode today with Adam Lane Smith. He's an attachment expert and I just got really inspired.

Okay? If you haven't seen his episode on my podcast or on my channel, check it out. It's about attachment and how women don't center them and it's just an incredible episode and I was going through my community which is part of become her the course we have online and somebody asked okay okay girl she said okay girl I hear you you say center yourself glow up that is the best way to get your power back I want to get my power back but how how like what are the steps girl like I'm confused and this is what the podcast is for

the podcast is for the deep and meaningfuls actual conversation and I'm sitting in my car for those you can see and there's actually active people, real people with human legs walking around me, looking at me with this camera set up in my face, but I don't care. You know why? Because the fastest way to get your power back is to glow up. This episode is going to be separated into two, yes, I said two categories. Why? Because you can glow up physically, and we're going to go through that, and you can glow up mentally. Now, physically is a whole other thing. My lips right now, I need to Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Glowing up physically is very powerful.

It's very powerful because no matter how you swing that cat, in today's world and society, us women, and you know what, even men, everything is poised on how it is perceived visually. Internally is important because how you prioritize yourself and how you connect to things in the world and how you present yourself, you have to know you're a Ferrari for people to believe that you are a Ferrari. So it's got to be twofold. You've got to present powerfully and act powerfully. And the reason that you will get your power back and how this all originated and how this whole series started

is by me communicating to you that if you want him to chase you, if you want to have your power back, if you want to be important in the relationship, if you want to be black cat energy, if you want to do all of that, you have to be the one. Okay. You have to be the one. who is self-focused. And that might sound toxic, but you have to be self-focused as the woman because we prioritize others so much. You cannot prioritize other people so much and be a valuable partner to him because you are the source, okay?

You are the source of everything magical, magnetic and beautiful. So let me stop yapping my ratty wrap for flap, wrapping me flaps. and let's get into the 10 practical ways to go up. We're going to go with the 10 first. Practical ways. Number one, upgrade your diets, okay? For me, this has been a journey. I have had two kids.

I have tried eating what I want. That doesn't work. That's a lie. Some people it works for, but usually that's a lie. want and need are different things it is a want not a need to eat donuts you do not need them your body does not need them to power itself it is a want not a need for me i've had a journey recently where i've lost weight after my second child i'll feel better than i did with my first child after having lost weight and the way i did it is through keto and a protein heavy diet it cuts out my brain fog.

It gave me a laser sharp focus like nothing else. It is the way I have two children, have a business and have people that work for me in structures. The high protein helps you build muscle. I now have started lifting weights, but that's the second point entirely. It shifted my confidence. And then I went on to TikTok and I started consuming content

about how eat small, be small, eat big, all this convoluted stuff. And I thought, do you know what? Maybe it's not about what you eat. and, you know, healthy foods. Because essentially what keto did for me and a high protein diet did for me is it wasn't that I became completely keto

and I never ate a carb. Keep in mind, I still ate berries and I still ate like potatoes sometimes, but all natural, basically. I just started eating all natural food, nothing processed, no bread that takes processing, see? Anything that was processed, I didn't eat.

So inevitably, it just ended up keto and it simplified my life because I would just go and I'd eat a steak or I'd eat some tuna with some broccoli on the side, whatever it just made it so simple and I like heavier carby things like cheeses and things like that so it suited me okay and I eliminated sugar and processed food because I'm not a sweet tooth I don't know how I ended up like that I don't know what happened to me but I like a cheesy pizza over like

chocolate so that wasn't a thing for me what changed my life is that I went on to TikTok maybe a few months ago and I consume this content about just like it's about portion control you can eat anything you just got a, you know, a line with da-da-da-da-da-da. I tried that. Oh my God, the food noise it gave me, I don't want to think about portions. I don't want to think about food. For me as a person, what really works is knowing the foods I can eat, which is whole foods, and the foods I cannot eat, which is processed foods. I don't want to think about portions. I don't want to think about shmortions. I don't want to think about any of it. For me, it's such a simplification, but you do you. so you need to upgrade your diet.

How you do that, might be veganism, might be no processed food, might be just eat smaller portions more often. You've got to explore your body and find that out. We are no longer living in the era of let's just eat donuts and appreciate our bodies. That is actually hating your body by putting junk in it constantly

and not prioritizing health, okay? So please, don't let them sell this body positivity bullshit to you. Body positivity means all shapes as in like we all come in different somewhat people are apple shaped some people have waste some people have a are shaped like a brick you know which i can be sometimes that's why i say it no waste there at all that's body positivity body positivity is not i ate 500 donuts and i'm positive about that stop it nor is it i starved myself and all i drank was coffee i'm positive about that no we need protein we need good things in our body so that's number one number two upgrade glow up

So, okay, you're obsessed with him. This is how we're imagining it. Your name is Katrina. You're obsessed with him. All you're thinking about is him. You're doing so much for him. You are like, oh my God, I just want to be with him. I can't stop thinking about him. You're fixating on him because you're anxiously attached and he is your one source of dopamine. This is what us women do. We target this one source of dopamine and we target him, target him until the cows come home. This is how we're going to shift. Number one, you're now focusing on the diet that you're going to have. You're thinking about him 100% now you're thinking about him 90% because right now the 10% is taken up by the steak. You know you need to go and buy and buy is it

organic or is it quality and where are you going to go and what are you going to feed your children? Woman. Stop thinking about the guy. What are you going to feed your children? Number two. Build strength and muscle, not just for the aesthetic, but for the psychology. My right bump cheek has checked out of the chat, okay? Because I had a surgery on my right foot because I twisted it when I was pregnant and then I gained the weight so it kind of collapsed and then I had to be rebuilt. I was on my left leg for a long time, okay, like a pirate. And then, now that I can walk on both, my left bum cheek was like, I'll just take over

babes. And righty was like, yeah, babe, you do it. Not to the point of like, oh my God, you can physically see it, but I started to lean sideways, carry my daughter on the left, everything, right? I said, no more. No more. Now you see how I think about these things. You should be thinking about these things.

Look at your body. If you've got like a sway back, I think it's called, like when you protrude your hips forward and you hunch your shoulders forward and your posture's all over the place, you should be focusing on that. That's point number four. Not on whether he likes you or not. Because you're walking around like a convoluted prawn focusing on whether he likes you or not and looking like a prawn.

That is an absolute diabolical situation. no I went to the gym I found a trainer I said let's build my bum not because I want a big bum I actually like no bum because that's my natural body so I've kind of learned to like that aesthetic because I teach you I teach you find people who look like you I actually have a bum I exaggerate okay it's for humor but I like people with like a smaller bum more athletic figures because I've learned forced myself to like that type of body because that's what I can achieve okay you need to to make yourself like that kind of thing. If you got a big booty,

make yourself like that kind of thing. I like other body types and other people. What I want for myself is this athletic physique, okay? Like, right? I went to the trainer and I said, we need to balance my bum. We've been working on that. I've got no time to think about Derek.

Because my right bump cheek needs to enter the chat, and it's entering, okay? I love to lift weights because it's methodical. It makes me focus on it, and I love reformer Pilates. That's a way to glow up, okay? Number three, hair and brows, okay? If you're not thinking about your eyebrows

and the way they frame your face and how shiny your hair can be, number one tip for hair, keto diet, high protein, wash it once a week. What shampoo do you use? What do you, use? Nothing, babe, nothing. Nothing.

I mean, something, but the point being is that it's what you don't strip out of your hair, okay? It's going to an amazing colorist. It's going to say, somebody who you invest money in and you do that as opposed to going to 100 people, getting 100 shampoos, ruining your hair, all of that. Just pull back. Stop doing all of that. You're doing too much, Amanda. You're doing too much, Katrina. You know, so go to an eyebrow

specialist who is going to see your eyebrows and make them look beautiful for you, for the face that you are supposed to have, okay? Again, that's now three things you're not concentrating on him for. You are now a bummed, beautiful, eyebrowed, haired goddess, okay? Don't do crazy things like tattooing your bras, homeboys standing there watching me record. Go away, sir. It's just a camera, okay? Number four, fix your posture. Magnetic women take up space. If you're scurrying around like a rat, you are not a magnetic woman. Shoulder back, held head high, confidence. You command presence when you enter the room. Don't be so shy to take up presence. You know, sometimes people hold weight,

and I know this might be a controversial thing to say, but people put on weight sometimes because they inside want to take up space, but they don't know how to do that in their personality, so they physically get bigger. That's your need and your want and your physicality wanting to take up space. There's a lot of psychological reasons where people can't lose weight, but that's a whole different story. Number five, glow up. Master a Signature scent. The most underrated glow-up hack is to be that girl who's got a signature scent. People associate smells with memory. And instead of bouncing around, finding different scents and buying perfumes and smelling like everybody else,

hone in and zone in onto a scent that is yours. And I like to change mine seasonally, all places I go to. Like if I went to New York, I'd just use one fragrance. Then I'd use another fragrance in another place. You know what I mean? change them seasonly, change them with memories, change them in terms of where you are in that moment. Number six, invest in high quality skincare. I'm outside a skincare studio and I am going to go there now. I have been doing lasers, facials and when I'm fully finished breastfeeding, I'm almost there.

I'm almost there. We're just night we're doing it all, okay, because I'm investing in that. skin, SPF every day. When it comes to skin, go to a dermatologist, okay? Don't just buy every single beauty product. When I was younger, I used to like trial everything on my face. Are you a guinea pig? Do not do that. Buy something consistent, a little bit more expensive, invest in that. You see, you're focusing on him and where you're going to go with him on Saturday night. Why are you not making a papyre and mango face mask because it's got enzymes to put on your face. in order to get the dead skin cells off, okay? Because he's going to waste your time

and you're going to need to find another man anyway, so why don't you want to do it with the glowing face? That's the question. Number seven, dress for your best features. Not for trends. Not for trends. Stop dressing trendy. It doesn't match you.

It doesn't suit you. It doesn't become you. The worst part of it is you look generic. Why is everyone in Gen Z wearing the same uniform? What is going on? What is going on? I don't understand. put outfits together that are

get obsessed with the look like old money or something go on Pinterest type it in Pinterest does a clever thing it suggests more things Pinterest is a clever woman she knows what she's doing you see already you've got to redo your wardrobe you've got to redo your posture you've got to redo your hair you've got so much to do

how are you going to find time to think about Derek how do you know by the time you're finished with all this you are going to outclass him my friend you're going to outclass him. Number eight, get a feminine signature, manicure. What's that, Margarita? What have you got French tips? Yes, I have. Clean polished nails means elegance, okay. Shorter nails means elegance. I'm in a long nail vibe right now. I don't know why. I'm just liking it. But neutral short nails, even if you don't have time, money, effort, whatever for a manicure, it needs to be pristine. It needs to be

chef's kiss. It needs to be beautiful. I go red, I go French, I go light pink, or I don't go. I used to do blue, this one, that one, one nail gray, one nail gold. What are you doing? Keep it simple, stupid. Anyway, nine, walk and move with intention, slow and alluring. The way I talk to you for humor and for jokes and just to, because you're my friends, right? Men should not be your friends. I know that's controversial, but they don't make the best friends in the world, do they? They're good to hang out with and they're good to have as men in your life, but they should not be your friend like your partner should not be your best friend you should have best friends outside of him stop making him your world you should to him be like this slow moving

languishing goddess it's fun have fun with flirting the more different you are to him the more he will respect you as some kind of ethereal goddess creature who he's got to do everything for and don't we want that no we don't want to be the buddy we want to be the goddess who he worships okay and number 10 make eye contact and speak slower. The way you speak and hold eye contact and stop rushing to conclusions, the way you stop asking him 100 things, the way you stop being in his George Foreman is the way that you're going to master that presence.

Okay, so that is the outside. Okay? Let's move on to the inside before my appointment starts. In order for you to master glowing up, you need to detach from the outside. outcome. That's number one. You think that the more attached you are to the outcome, the more likely you are to receive it is the biggest misconcern. Why are you sneezing at me? I'm recording. He just literally stopped and sneezed at me. Weirder. Love him. He's cute. Anyway, we move. Detach from the outcome. Feminine power equals surrender and trust. You are

going to do more in your life by surrendering and trusting the process of the universe, God, whoever you choose to believe in. Okay? You are thinking that the more you control it, the more you chase things, the more you micromanage, the more you mother people, the more you tell them what to do, the more you're a frantic mess is the more you're going to get the result you want. You are not going to get the result you want. You will literally change the way the universe responds to you and change your trajectory by

detaching from the outcome. That is feminine power. this through your head, through your beautiful head, full of luxurious hair. The more you focus on something does not make it happen. The more you let go of the outcome, the more it makes it happen. You can easily love a man and let go of the outcome of being with him. You can say, do you know what, I love him, and if he's meant to be with me, he will come to me. And if not, then he is free to go.

Number two, shift your identity, glow up, start in the mind. what would the most powerful version of you do today? Do not act as if somebody that you are now. Act as somebody who you wish to be. What would I do if I loved myself? What would I do if I had genuine love for myself? Because a lot of us don't love ourselves. A lot of us talk to ourselves how a parent who was ambivalent about having us talk to us in our childhood.

What would the most powerful version of me do? Would she text him again and ask if he received her message? I don't know. I think probably not. But maybe she would. Start embodying her before the external glow-up happens. You have not gone to the gym yet. You have not prioritized your look.

You have not prioritized your vibe. You've not prioritized being this character that you're meant to be. But act as if you look like that already. Number three. Romanticize your life. when you act like your life is already dreamy, it becomes that. When you have gratitude for minor moments, it becomes that. When you have small, luxurious moments in your life, your life becomes that.

The more you do things that are luxurious, beautiful and wonderful, the more you attract luxurious, wonderful and beautiful into your life. You need to romanticize the moments. Life is what is happening to you, the chaos that is happening and all the things that is happening to you in between. that is life. Life is not what you are trying to get to. You can spend your whole life trying to get to a goal and never get there. Okay, life is what's happening in the interim right now in the meantime. Okay. Number four, protect your energy. Boundaries equals attraction and power. You think that you will push him away and he won't want you anymore by setting boundaries? No, the essence of feminine power

is boundaries. Do you know, you don't think it hurts me sometimes when I have to like put myself first. I know that sounds so weird, man, but as women, that's how we feel when I put myself first. It's like, I feel like that guy from men in black who the alien is trying to fit into. Remember that guy who puts the alien on him? Like, it's so unnatural to me. Apparently, you cheeky chicken's got a bit too hot there on the dash, so I had to move you. Anyway, boundaries are attractive. The whole essence of feminine energy is the ability to set boundaries, to say no, that's what makes you valuable. You've been brainwashed to think that the more you say yes and the more of a good girl you are, the better you do in life.

You do not. Literally, if you feel powerless in the world, and especially with men, just start saying no to them and they start loving you more. They start prioritizing you. It's sickening, but it's true. Number five, embrace silence and mystery. Don't overshare. We come from a culture of sharing social media, sharing everything, how we feel, what we do,

when we go toilet, how our bum feels. The most magnetic people don't over-explain. they don't complain, they have a pause before they react, they think about what they want to say, let people wonder what you're doing and who you are instead of always talking, talking, talking, yappa, yappa, yappa, yapper, yapper. What he imagines you to be is way more magical than you could ever communicate to be. We have this misconception as women that we can just say the thing, and he's just going to be so alert by our magnetic personality.

What he imagines you to be is way more magnetic. six learn to sit in discomfort and not react most people run from discomfort in their life the powerful sit in it and they get stronger when something is uncomfortable sit through the discomfort sit through it and learn to not always react when somebody's made you feel a type of way and you don't want to be around that person anymore especially him log it in your mind log things he does whether you want to be with him or not he's auditioning to be in your life sit in the discomfort and the anxiety of him not replying to you because that baby girl is how you're going to feel forever being with him. That is how you're going to feel.

So stop medicating yourself with texting him back, calling him, getting that ding, ding, ding message from him. Because all you're doing is getting the fix of him reacting to you and then you're feeling better. Sit in the discomfort. Let's feel how it's actually going to feel to be with him long term. It's not pretty. Let's feel it. Seven. Feminine energy equals magnetism.

not force. If you're forcing, chasing, or proving, that is repelling energy. He wants to win you over. He does not want to be served you on a platter. Even if you have a normal, securely attached guy, if you do not let him win you over, sometimes he is not going to think that you are the prize, because you do what with the prize? You win it. Let him play the game of courtship. Let him win you, let him feel like he's achieved something. Receiving energy, when you receive a date and you're so happy and you're so excited is attractive. People who receive are in feminine energy that let things flow to them. Stop apologizing, trying to offer to pay all the time,

disrespecting when he offers to do something. He'll plan a date and you'll offer to pay half. Stupid shit like that. Don't do it. Stop pushing everything away in your life by acting so desperate. Eight, stop engaging in love vibe drama. Glow ups and just prioritizing yourself in general. require selective focus, okay?

If it's draining you and not helping you evolve, I get mixed up in over-evaluating people's, like, intentions and why someone said something, like I've got a sticky brain like that. It derails you from focus and your glow up. Don't do that. Number one, change your internal self-talk. Your thoughts shape your reality. The more you say that you are not worthy, ugly, whatever it is,

ridiculous, the more you will feel it. You program yourself daily with how you speak to yourself. You need to start saying to yourself how amazing, worthy, beautiful you are, daily affirmations. If you don't know what affirmations to say, get my journal. You'll be in the video transcript below or you can get it on my website. You need to have beautiful self-talk. It is like food you eat. The thoughts you have should be beautiful.

10. Cultivate main character energy. Step into the spotlight and stop hiding away. The glow up isn't just external. It's the main shift of stepping into your power and knowing that the movie's about me. It is not about him. I am not a side character in his movie. I am the main character in my movie.

Yes, I am the main character in my movie. The unexpected things that change when you shift your energy. You start saying no more often. Go somewhere alone for once a week. Okay, this is a practice that you can do. Get outside. Stop explaining yourself to people and make one uncomfortable decision. That is what I want you to do.

I want you to go in the comments. I want you to tell me what uncomfortable decision did you make. And I want you to make it. Because looking good is just the beginning. The real globe happens when you feel powerful. So then when he is not replying, it's not about him. You can evaluate his actions as actions. Like they're not interesting anymore.

They're deeply boring. The personality he has. you gave him. You gave him that personality. He's so deeply boring. I'm yawning even at reading your emails about him, honestly. He's deeply, deeply boring and non-eventful, but you are quite fun, eventful and fabulous, and you've given him the whole personality that he attribute to him just because you don't focus on yourself. So glow up, beauty, okay? I'll see you on the next one.