BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 108: We need to talk...

Episode Date: April 13, 2025

lets have a catch up shall we? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you are watching this, you might think, oh, she looks a bit anemic. She looks a bit like low iron. Not anymore. Today I had an iron infusion. You're about to see energy, the likes of which you have never seen before. I've also, just as I sit here, posted a Q&A box into my Instagram. That's where I'm looking at at the moment. And we are going to answer literally, first come, first surf questions, until we have a call with my management

my manager and everybody in about 10 minutes. So we are going to answer those questions. And then we're going to probably keep answering them. So this is going to be very much on the fly. Okay, first question. Do you think an avoidant person can make a secure person anxious? Do I think an avoidant person can make a secure person anxious? Yes, because it's a human trait in order to feel some level of anxiety

when someone is actively avoiding you. However, do I think if a person is truly, truly secure, will they stay feeling anxious? No, they won't. They will feel anxious. They will not like the feeling. And as they process it, they will remove themselves from a situation. Not straight away. But saying that, even if you're an anxiously attached person, if you did not have attachment

that was secure in your life and then you are working on it, the more secure you become, the more uninteresting you will find avoidant tactics, antics and all that. stuff. Also, if you're watching this, you'll see I've got no nails. I am usually naily McGee. Nails are my thing. But at the moment, I've just had this epiphany that I want to be. Carrie Bradshaw, 90s Cape Moss, Bridget Bardot, Princess Diana. Like, I love a long nail moment. I love a boogey woman moment, but I've said it on my Instagram stories that I have time to be a matriarch with busy long nails like Corolla de Ville, honey. And right now, I just want to be like, she's natural. Okay, so I know. It's just so many different ways to be a girl, and I love it.

If you guys have not seen it yet or heard of it, I've done the eight archetypes masterclass, which is my little piesta resistance and an answer to all the people asking me, like, oh, but I don't feel like I am this type of, like this trend, black cat energy that was out in TikTok and everything. That's cute. I like that, but not everyone is a mysterious aloof woman. know, not everyone has that relationship dynamic. There are myriads of ways in which to be a feminine woman and there are, in my understanding, eight. And if you haven't done it, I will put the quiz into the description box of wherever this appears and you can go on, sign up and do the quiz. You don't have to do the masterclass, you can just do the quiz. If you want to do the masterclass,

it will explain how to use your feminine energy more succinctly and better. Next question. Married with kids and he still prioritizes his parents over our family. How to navigate. acceptance. There is no amount of kicking, screaming, or annihilating of his parents that is going to make him prioritize you. Sometimes a reality is a reality. He is still the son and his family and not the husband in yours. You are married to someone's son and not a man in his own right. It is heartbreaking. It is sad. I take you at your word when you say this, right? He might not feel this way, but let's say it is the case. I suppose some people say, see how a man can. treats his mother and that's how you'll treat you in the future so there's something coming but he is

still the son in his family he still has not because the first part is attachment that's him and that's you and that's his mother right when people don't have the part of detachment where it's just people side by side that's your teenage years if parents don't let teenagers detach they never fully separate and therefore they cannot make a connection with their later family a connection looks like this okay it's just connection side by side detachment is far away and attachment is internal All right. Why are certain zodiac signs compatible and how true is it? Girl, this is the wrong podcast. I don't know why certain signs are compatible. Maybe it's the time of year that they're born and the frequency of the moon affects the tides of the waves.

I don't know. I think there are many things at play in this world, whether it be religion, whether it be life, whether it be tides, whether it be astrology, astronomy, and everything in between. if it helps you center your truth and if it helps you move through the world with some assuredness and joy, then use it. If it negates those things, do not use it. Next question. Marriage Disagreements. By the way, I just put your book. Thank you. I see you. That book, let me tell you, let me tell you right now, was a work of, like, everything that I have said is put succinctly and perfectly in that book. I still have more to say. but that book is a lot in there.

Like that is 500 courses worth of material for not much. So thank you. Married disagreements. Yeah, they happen. Sometimes it makes them spicy. It makes a marriage spicy. Next, I have motherly nature. Should I change?

No. Motherly natured people should not change. They should just monitor who they mother. You should be mothering children, project, animals and the likes, not grown men. Why? Because when you put your energy in the wrong place, are you mothering a grown man, it goes wrong. He doesn't need mothering. He's been mothered. He doesn't need to be looked after. So why are you looking after a grown man? Women's mothering energy can become toxic. The Edipal mother, it's consuming, it is horrible, you owe her everything, it's not a vibe. You need your

outlet into what you mother that is not him. You understand what I mean? Mothering is a beautiful thing, but it's like watering a plant. If you start watering an animal, the animal does not want water on its head. You know what I'm saying? Next, what do you do when your partner's mother passed away in Jan and he's unmotivated since? Baby, listen, I am not a priest, but I will tell you the unfathomable pain of having a relative pass is something I cannot speak on and nor do I wish to disrespect anybody by doing so. I don't know the amount of pain that he is feeling since January is not much. We are in the beginning of April. Let the man grieve. It is not about you. This is one of them times where it's truly not about you and it's painful and I'm sorry for him and it's hard

and it can really demotivate a person. And it's tough. In other news, guys, I have had the worst skin and everything. And I've realized, not the worst, the worst, but like my lips are chapped. Everything is just going haywire. It is because of iron deficiency. So get your iron checked. And he might be like, Margarita, you eat so much red meat.

What's going on? It is because I had a baby and she ate all my iron. Okay? That's what happened. Okay. Next, before I have to go to my meeting. how to get the chase in a long-term relationship when he checked out. Mm-hmm, girl, tomorrow I'm filming something that is so for you.

So for you. This is probably the most I've been excited to film something. It is going to be called something along the lines of Be His Muse Forever, Dream Girl in Marriage, Blueprints, something like that, okay? How to get the chase in a long-term relationship is the biggest question that I get under all the content I make. But the whole purpose of the content I make is to get a long-term relationship because I'm pro-family and pro-connection and pro all of that, right?

I don't need any of it if it's not for all those things. So I am mainly talking to you if it's in the long-term relationship, and I cannot wait to go into it. But I will put it this way. You cannot force someone to chase you, prioritize you, and nag them into it. And we've been programmed as women

through the school system to work hard, put our best foot forward, prove that we're good and we're good enough and everything will come to us. No, no, no, no, no, ma'am, no sorrow. Our mothers and grandmothers have not been teaching us the realities of the truth. that it is about magnetism. It is about female magic, not literal magic, but just like things

you have that he doesn't have feminine energy. You cannot get the chase by demanding the chase, by demanding dates, by making him do stuff. You have to do it by creating an aura around yourself of someone who is chaseable, like Ferrari, like Birkin and like all those brands do. It's not by forcing you to buy their product. It's by creating an aura around you of unattainability and it applies in marriage and it's a lifelong project. But if you are too lazy to work on your marriage and a lifetime project, then I don't know what to say to you. Yes, it's games. Yes, it's games. Games are fun. Okay, I will be back. Hold your horses. I've just got to hop on a pole. Since serious apologies, I had to go to my meeting and do all that jazz. Look at me sitting with a seatbelt,

like a librarian. So, let's get back to your Q&A for, 10 minutes before I take my children to the park and the playground, which is going to be just delicious. So, Q&A. Let's go. How to deal with men that have stopped pursuing in friend zone due to past hurt. I would not deal with those men. This is going to be a quick fire Q&A. I wouldn't deal with them. Convincing a man to want you is the biggest lie ever told. It cannot happen. It is unfair towards him. If we don't share with him a body count or sexual past. It is not fair with him. I don't understand who he is to be asking you, is he your doctor? Why are you asking, why are you sharing with him your body count?

It's absolutely, absolutely ridiculous and a stupid thing to do. Because what? He's going to feel good about it? Was he there in the past to be part of the body count? No. If you'd met him when you were a virgin, it would been fantastic, but you aren't. So let's move on. How to stay in my power during these Which times? My hormones are raging and it's PMS week. I have P-M-D-D which I'm getting treated. How do I stay in my power in these days? Did you ever have an anxious attachment with your hubby? Of course, I had an anxious attachment with my husband for the first five years of our lives and then it got to the point where I was not happy and it was a painful experience and I realized chasing people for love does not actually win you love and being secure and giving yourself love

is what gets you love. So I changed it and it changed my whole life and my relationship. Honestly, if you haven't seen it, go into my masterclasses and have a look at how I change that. As for how you deal with PMS or even difficult life areas when they're happening is you just traverse through them. Being in your feminine doesn't mean being a fairy tale princess all the time. It just means coming back to yourself and doing the best you can.

how you met your husband and God I'm obsessed with you, as I'm sure he is. The reason he was obsessed with me in the beginning is because I think I match the visual. I'm going to be very honest, the visual type that he has, right? So when we met, I was 24 and he is 8 to 9 years older than me. And I'm just Matt, I was his physical type. Like, we all have types. Some of us like Jalos. Some of us like Cameron Diaz's. Whoever we like, I was just his physical type. Our personalities, girl, they didn't match straight away, okay? We've kind of grown together. But he put up with however we didn't match because we had similar

values and I think we're each other's type. How I'm making him obsessed now is more of a story than how he got obsessed when he saw me because men get obsessed with how you look when they first see you. No, they like our personalities. No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't, Veronica. they like how we look in that beginning interim, right? The more interesting question is, how is he obsessed with me 12 years later? And that is a story that I will tell in the marriage course. And I will tell it here, but it's a dedicated video. If you want me to, I will tell my personal story with, but it's moving into secure attachment

and it's moving into deciding to live for yourself. It's remembering the fact that when documented and asked, people are the most obsessed with a person they're with, not at a close proximity, but at a distance when watching them do something that puts them in flow. By flow, it means something that they're good at. If you remember this, then you will know how to keep someone obsessed with you, okay? How do you be both mysterious and vulnerable when putting yourself out there professionally? You have just combulated two absolutely different theories. How do you both be mysterious and vulnerable, which one should be in a relationship, because you're vulnerable emotionally in order to have a connection with someone,

and you're mysterious by not giving everything away, as in like you're a good book. A good book is a very good example of how to be vulnerable and mysterious. A good book is vulnerable, as in it's got emotive language, it talks to you to your reality, but it doesn't give everything away straight away. Mystery isn't about being like, oh, hiding behind a curtain and being very stoic in my approach. It's about knowing how to unveil a story. But then you go when putting yourself out there professionally. What is your profession?

What is your profession is my question? Why would you need to be vulnerable and mysterious in your profession? Putting yourself out there professionally unless your profession is getting men to like you, in which case, honey, I don't know. That is not my profession. I don't know how to help you there. How to say that girl during pregnancy and postpartum. Honey, this is the time that you really don't need to.

be asking that question because during pregnancy and postpartum you're the closest thing to godliness that has ever existed you are literally creating life you do not need to even think in your beautiful pregnant head about how to become that girl be that girl or anything okay when you are growing that baby and feeding that baby you are by a mission of everything in the world everything is emitted from you you can do no wrong okay you're a deity at that point so don't even think about it advice for girls in the early 20s and how to have better relationships with yourself. I don't know how to phrase this and I've tried many times, but embrace the 20s and the haphazard nature of them

and the fact that you look without trying the best you'll ever look. And I don't mean this is the best you'll look because you might look better at 40 or 30, but that is because you're going to, you would have put in effort, you would have found your style, you would have had a good estatologist or whatever it is, you might look better in your 30s and 40s, but it will be through effort and self-knowledge. Right now, you're adorable, like a puppy's adorable, just by the sheer beingness that you have.

And you don't yet have the... Do you know, it's not cute to be a confused 40-year-old, like not knowing what you're doing. It's okay, it's acceptable, but it's not adorable. In your 20s, when you haven't found yourself yet, it's adorable. It's lovely. I've been 20, fortunately. we've all, you know, who've grown up, have been 20.

And at the time, everything feels so deeply serious and like you should have your shit together and you really shouldn't because it's wonderful and beautiful that you don't. How to navigate lack of boundaries from female work colleagues of your partners. You can't. The only choice you have, and it's a very important one, is how you're going to represent yourself in this scenario. If you choose to be his fan, and that means asking him to stop talking to the women, asking him to only look at you, asking him what they said, what they wore, what they look like, how old they are. You will permanently position yourself in his head as his fan as opposed to him being your fan and you being the muse.

The muse and the queen does not ask him who these random women are, who these pedestrians are. These women aren't actually pedestrians, but in your storyline they should be. Just random pedestrians. And you have a choice here to succumb to your curiosity and ask a hundred questions, but then you see, you are then competing with them for his attention and he sees that, right? Or you maintain yourself and you, this is your great chance to not even act like they exist. Thought some boyfriend's going to his friend's bachelor party strip clubs. I'm not a fan of bachelor parties and strip clubs, so the type of guy I would like would not want to go to a bachelor party or a strip club.

I don't like that culture. I don't enjoy it. Do you know, if a single man or just random men are going strip clubs, you do you boo, like, whatever you want to do, right? But why is it they need to go to strip clubs as soon as they find somebody that they want to devote their life to? It's bizarre. So I'm not a fan. I wouldn't like it, nor would I stop it, though. I would just look at you judgingly, but you'd never know what I actually think.

Do you know what I mean? I wouldn't stop him, but that's not the type of guy I'd want to be with. Feeling fat in front of your man, advice. My advice is that he doesn't see you as fat because he sees you as name. it because I presume that's when you feel fat in front of him but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it if you phrase your sentence like that that means you want to lose weight so I could sit here and talk all like yes queen go off your body's a temple blah blah blah but honey if you feel fat if you don't feel good in your body

then you need to prioritize protein drink more water and start looking after your body like is the temple that it is because there's something in you that's not feeling good about it and about yourself okay it's not about your mind it's about you. Hi, I'm Margarita. I DM'd you with desperate advice. Can you please check your message? I would love to, my love. I have so many messages, and this is a good at time, opportunity to say it. I have so many messages of long, long reels of like what happened in people's lives and how it happened and etc., etc. And when I start doing one-on-one consults again, it's going to be a good opportunity to ask those questions, but it wouldn't be fair on me to answer some of them and read them.

And it wouldn't also be fair on my work or children for me to sit and read these extremely long messages. I honestly don't have the time and I don't mean to say that in a I feel sorry for myself. I don't have the time, but I mean it in a real, real, real way and it wouldn't do justice to your question. There are really qualified therapists who can and maybe in the future I will be taking one on months. Will the podcast come to Amazon music anytime soon? I'll ask my producer. I think it's already there. How to Meet Provider Future Husband. Well, I will tell you one thing before I go and that is if you want a future husband who is the type who would provide, you need to go to places where they work, where they would hang out, golf clubs, hotel lobbies, and not in a ratchet nightclub. You know, you need to go where he would go, where you envision yourself going with him.

Okay? Love you lots like jilletots. I got to run, but I'll see you on the next one.