BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 109: Lucky Girl Syndrome: 10 Steps to Change Your Life.

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

You’ve heard the phrase “I’m so lucky, everything works out for me.” But here’s the truth: repeating affirmations isn’t enough if your energy, habits, and identity don’t match. In this episode, we go deeper than TikTok trends and talk about the real psychology and feminine energy behind Lucky Girl Syndrome—and how to actually become the woman good things happen to.You’ll learn how to train your brain to expect beauty, build self-trust, embody your next-level identity, and stop waiting for permission to feel like the main character. Backed by neuroscience and feminine principles, these 10 steps will shift how you see yourself and what you attract.This isn’t delusional positivity. This is embodiment, energetic alignment, and a reality shift that starts from within.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The thing is, I am feeling lucky. My camera's run out of a charge, but I am feeling lucky, and I'm going to teach you how to have Lucky Girl Syndrome. I have had a day. The day has been daying. There's been so much going on in this day. But the key to life, my friends, my life has completely changed in the last, I would say, five years

when I did not know how people achieved things before, I now know. It's neuroscience. It is real. it is the predisposition, okay, that you can achieve everything you want in life. What is Lucky Girl Syndrome? Lucky Girl Syndrome is an idea that you are intrinsically lucky in life, that nothing can go wrong for you, that everything goes right for you, that all the right things are coming to you,

that you are the main character, there is nothing that can go wrong, and everything is just coming out like a movie, that you are the main character. This is literally the antithesis to anxious attachment. It's the antithesis to everything, everything, because if you believe that you are the main character in the script and that you are intrinsically lucky, even when the bad things happen, you are lucky, even when you have, for example, something that could usually be a bad thing, for example, growing up without a father, I grew up without my father, right, is intrinsically a negative thing

according to science, according to literature, according to everything. I decided somewhere in my life that I'm going to make it a good thing, that it is lucky to have grown up without my dad. Why? Number one, I don't have a negative influence on me. I'm not saying he's negative. If you're watching this, dad, you are not negative. You are blessed king. I'm not saying he is negative, but maybe, maybe the universal God is saving you from a negative influence. What could that negative influence be? Maybe it's the fact that you were made for greater things. Maybe if you were cozy with your dad and felt, you know, loved in all these juicy things, you wouldn't have gone so far in life.

Maybe you needed, with your personality, that kick up the ass, that made you achieve. I started to feel lucky. I was like, wow, I have a lot of masculine traits in my personality that I wouldn't probably have developed if I had a loving father. You know what I mean? I have a lot of tenacity. I have a lot of gift of the gab. I wouldn't have had that if I had dad.

I don't think, especially not my dad, you know, from how he's described to me. So I started to feel lucky around that. I wish every child has their father around, but for me, not so much. I didn't grow up with a sibling. I feel lucky about that. I don't want to share my DNA with anybody. I want to be unique. Okay, I digress, okay?

I'm going to tell you 10 steps about Lucky Girl Syndrome, what it is, and how to hone it. My notes are again on my phone. they're haphazard, they're everywhere, but they're here to serve you. Number one step of Lucky Girl Syndrome is set your intention. This is more than an affirmation. It's neuroscientifically taps into your reticular activating system, RAS, okay? And it filters your brain and it determines what you notice in the world, okay? If you set your intentions exactly on what you want, I am beautiful, I am successful, I have a nice cult.

whatever it is, your brain, that system in your brain, then filters out everything else. It is the basic story about, if I tell you don't notice red cars or I'm going to buy a red car or red cars, something like that, you are going to start seeing red cars because now your brain has tuned into that item of the thing that you want to see. You would have never seen that thing before. We do not physically process everything that we want to see. So the first step in Lucky Girl Syndrome is saying, I'm so lucky everything works out for me. Why? Because now your brain, has been logged into understanding that it is only to track and scan and notice the things that make you what, Amanda? Lucky.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So now you're not going to make bad decisions. Now you're not going to go down the road you're not meant to go. It literally will scan on that neurological level out for danger. It will make sure you're not around people who are bad for you. It will make sure all the things. My mantra, I'm going to share it with you.

I shouldn't share it with you, but I'm going to share it with you. because you are my closest people, has been I only make good decisions this year because I've got a lot writing on me. I've got businesses, children out the wazoo, you know, I've got a lot. And I get decision, not fatigue, but decision stress. Like, I don't know if I'm making the right decisions and doing the right thing. But when I say I only make good decisions, I then trip my reticular activating system into only making the best decisions it knows with the information it has. I might still make mistakes, but I give myself the backing to say I only make good decisions. Number two step in Lucky Girl Syndrome is romanticize your routine. Why? Because your life is not your life. Your life is

the habits and the routine you have. The habits are made up by your routine. That is it. If you make your life art instead of the mundane, you will create a life that, that is chef's kiss beautiful. The brain can't always distinguish between something imagined and something experienced. Okay. And if you attach a beautiful experience to the mundane, if you romanticize and beautify the mundane activities that you do, if you sweep the floor like Cinderella, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a in a movie as opposed to like you, you will sweep that floor immaculately and you will do it well.

You will train in the gym. You will eat the healthy foods. I saw, what's her name? Hot High Priestess or something like that on TikTok, she's adorable, say that she lost a bunch of weight just by romanticizing the experience of weight loss. Okay? That is literally it. If you're grinding, if it's a grind, you're not going to stick with it. When you add sensuality and beauty to your day playing music, wearing perfume, you engage your parasympathetic nervous system, okay? You trigger feelings of happiness and pleasure. Then you do what? with the routines that you have, you make them repeatable.

And what makes the person who's got a good body or a high bank account or an amazing life? Because if I gave you the body you want, if I gave you the bank account you want, if I gave you the amount of followers you want, what would happen in a year? And it's proven by people who win the lottery, you would go back to exactly where you are right now. If that's something you already have, then you would have it again. If it's not, you would lose it. Why? Because you don't have the habits of someone with an amazing body.

You don't have the habits of someone with a big bank account. and you don't have the habits of someone with a high following, yeah? Not you. Maybe the person who's watching has it, right? Maybe you don't. But I'm just saying that what would happen, what would happen would be your swift descend or ascent back to the situation of what you're used to, what your brain is used to. Number three, practice gratitude.

This isn't fluffy. This isn't funny. This is real and this is what changed my life. All right? Studies from the UC Davis and the Greater Good Science Center shows that gratitude literally shapes your brain. Okay? Regularly writing down or speaking what you are grateful for, it changes your neuroplasticity. It's the most powerful tool that you could use.

Your brain retains is trained to look for what's working rather than what is not. When you are grateful, you train your brain to neuroplastically look for patterns like a cyborg, pattern recognition, into what to repeat to activate the things that work. I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful for the sky. I'm grateful for the beautiful birds. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. I'm grateful for what I have. If you want a better car, be grateful for the car you have. If you want a better house, be grateful for the house you have, okay? Gratitude doesn't make you feel better. It shifts what you attract, neuroscientifically speaking.

Number four, embody your desired energy. You can't think your way into a new life. You have to become the version of the person you already want to appear as not the slovenly, lazy, chubber. be, uh, whatever it is person that you are, that you don't want to be, you have to in your mind, envision and act as the person you want to embody, not the person you are. And by the way, I'm not calling you chubby and slovenly and lazy. That's what you're calling yourself. If you believe that is what you are, then you will act accordingly. Of course I'm lazy. I'm just going to lie here.

Of course I don't achieve things. Of course I don't know. I don't have knowledge. I don't have knowledge. that was my, I don't know, I don't know how to do something. Yes, you do. Embodiment comes in there. The way you move, the way you dress, speak like her. Dress like her. This podcast, being her is the reason it's called being her because I want you to train your brain to act in accordance of the person you want to appear. It's called identity-based habits and they change into how people view themselves. A healthy person will always again become healthy by the choices they make and how they view themselves. The way that I lose weight and the way I get into my best

health and shape is by not identifying myself as a person who, for example, eats cupcakes. I remember this distinctly because I remember going to a children's party and everyone was eating the cake. And I was like, this cake is for children. And not even necessarily for children. Maybe children shouldn't even eat cake. But the

context was, I didn't eat it at that time because it was for the children to share between the children so the adults weren't having it. And I was like, damn, this is literally how you reprogram your mind. it's not for you, it's for the children. All the baked goods, all the crap that you see, all the fast food, this, that the other. It's not for you, baby.

It's not for you. You are not that person. You cannot embody feminine energy and still make masculine, outrageous habits in terms of, for example, like chasing someone or blowing up their phone or trying to prove your worth or all these things. You can't do that if you identify yourself as a. feminine energy woman. And by feminine energy, I don't mean like you've swan around the field picking flowers, but do that if that suits you. I love that for you. I mean, someone who's in flow with nature and understands if a man's not chasing her, she's not going to chase down a grown man because she needs a man who's going to appear there for her and hold her up in times of like

when she has children. It's not very funny to chase a grown man when you have children. A lot of you know that because you're living that life. Five, reframe challenge. Things won't always go your way, is a thing lucky people aren't lucky by chance. They interpret their setbacks differently. According to psychologist Richard Weissman's research on luck, this is a good one, people who believe they're lucky are most likely to see redirections as protection or detours as a part of adventure.

Life's reason, we are an adventurous mammal, is adventure. It is not safety. If you put people or animals in ultimate safety, they rot, they are not happy. The mindset shift is a massive psycho. ecological benefit. A lowest cortisol. It optimises your performance. It does, it makes you utilize everything. Something bad happens to you. You're like, not today, Satan, not today, because I'm going to take that and I'm going to become more powerful. Not on my time. Not today.

Sir, thank you. What is working for me from this? What is the plot twist? Why is it going to get interesting? Why is the movie amazing? You know, people have to get stuck on desert islands and and make their way off. Moana's got to, you know, go and find her Maui and bring him on the boat. There's got to be an adventure, yeah? Resilience. Resilience. Not today. Do not go gentle into that good night.

Six, savor small joys. Psychologists call this savoring. It's one of the most underutilized tools of increased long-time happiness. Ladies and germs. Savoring means slowing down and fully experiencing an event. Margarita, I'm talking to you. Because you run. at a thousand miles an hour at the moment.

And I need to stop and smell the roses. I'm going to talk to Marguerite directly here. I need to stop and smell the roses, the rain, the coffee. When you pause, you immerse your brain, and it releases dopamine and oxytocin, which is the hormone of luck and joy and pleasure and bonding. And over time, those micromomomens build your emotional baseline into one that is stable, optimistic, and secure.

if you are anxiously attached. Save a small choice. Look around. Stop depending on big highs, scrolling, tick-tocking, viral content. Fall in love with the ordinary moment because this is the moment that you are hoping for. You were hoping for this moment.

Margueresey, you are hoping to have these two children. What are you doing? You are hoping and now you're running around. should I, how should I, how should I, how should I do my PR, my management second book? Piss off. This is exactly where you're meant to be. Seven, create small adventures. Novelty and play stimulates the dopamenegic system.

Dopamenegic, dopidimedemic, but-da-bda-bap-bap-pup. English is my second language, okay? Relax, Patrick. It's your brain's reward motivation pathway, okay? Small adventures like trying a new cafe. you're walking a different route. This is what people with Lucky Girl Syndrome do. You know, when you feel stagnant and you're like,

oh, my friend inviting me someone new, I can't go, I don't know what the menu is. Stop. Do it. It kicks you out of your survival mode, okay? It kicks you out of stagnation and repetition. And this is the thing that happens. Have you ever driven, okay, when you're driving?

And you don't even remember how you got home. Because once your brain learns a pattern, it's going to repeat the pattern. Do you know what you're doing by repeating your life again and again and again? You are risking making your life not even be logged into your brain. Like a memoryless, eventless life is what you're risking. I'm actually terrified even saying that.

You need new things because that is how memories are made. As you know, when you're driving that car and you get home and you're like, I don't remember that drive. I don't remember that drive because your brain knows the pattern and logs off. A woman who can build tiny sparks into her life can become truly magnetic because it shines through your eyes. You're not a dull, magnetic, non-magnetic robot. You're just, you're not a drone.

Number eight, trustry intuition. That's Lucky Girl Syndrome, okay? Tap into your subconscious mind and nervous system intelligence. Intuition isn't a mystical, chunker, chunga, chanker, ascetic thing, okay? By the way, if you haven't done my eight archetypes, Feminine Energy course, this just reminded me about mystical, because I wrote it here. Mystic is one of the archetypes.

If you don't know your archetype, I'm going to leave you the quiz. The only reason I'm telling you is because I just launched it, and I'm excited. So look at that if you want to embody a feminine energy outside of this. But when you honor your gut feelings, it strengthens. When you make decisions and you stop asking everyone around you, it strengthens. You build trust in yourself. What does trust in yourself build?

What? Confidence. The more confident you are, the more you are like a ship in the night that can know that it can traverse through the oceans, navigating through the stars because you have done it so many times, the more powerful you become. Studies have shown that intuitive decisions made off and leads to faster. more accurate result-driven decision. I only make good decisions.

I know you only make good decisions. The more you listen to your body's subtle cues, your body knows, your body's intelligence, it holds the score. Every time you feel, oh, this is a bad situation. What happens? Something happened. Your body's an animal that can read cues. The more you ignore it, the worse it gets.

Nine, embrace. Detachment! My favorite. This one's hard, but it is essential. energetically chasing creates resistance. Energetically chasing creates resistance. The more you grasp at something, the more you signal the nervous system, your nervous system that you are in lack, or you are not enough, or you are in fear, and the more you will run after people, opportunities,

and situations. Detachment does not mean not caring. It means trusting your own self. and the universe that has your back. If you are chasing, you're saying to the universe, no, I know better than you, that this thing that does not want me is not for me, is better for me. In neuroscience, this relates to dopamine cycles. When you attach too much reward,

you spike your stress hormone to this guy, to this thing, to whatever it is you are chasing. But when you're in a relaxed, open state, your nervous system is in parasympathetic flow. You actually become magnetic and attractive. It's science. That's why even a good guy that you're trying to chase and you're in this like fight or fight feral animal moment, you are not going to be energetically attractive. If you have creative ideas, romantic energy, you are like this main character person. Detachment is an energetic posture that a woman holds that lets the world know that she's got a secret and she's worth chasing because she doesn't force.

She allows things to come to her. if you can master it, if you could just let go of outcomes, your world would change. 10. 10 is celebrate wins, especially the small ones. This is another one for you, Margarita. This might sound simple, but celebrating your small wins allows neurological feedback loops, okay, in your mind. Every time you acknowledge the process and the progress, every tiny win you do, I'm capable, I'm amazing. I've done that.

Look what I've done. that is a dopaminergic. Why can I say that word? Reward system, okay? It allows you to see what you've done, recognize the pattern of what you've done, and what you've done, in it, mate. And create the life that you want.

It's not ego, it's self-worth, it's finishing a workout, it's hitting the small wins, because a woman worth clapping for is you, and you're not a woman who's chasing. Apause. you clap for yourself. Don't chase applause from others.

It's starting to rain. My kids are in the park. I'm going to get them. Love you lots like jelly tots. I'll see you on the next one.