BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 116: Do All Men Cheat?

Episode Date: June 8, 2025

this one is unscripted and unplanned with my real experience and opinion. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do all men cheat? What can you do about it if they do? How can you position yourself in a way in your life that you are cheatproof? I usually script my videos. I usually have my little phone out. As you know, I've got five points about, you know, what I'm going to teach you, how I'm going to make your life better and all these things, okay? In this one, I don't have that.

In this video, I'm going to tell you about the time when I was cheated on in a long-term relationship and I'm going to speak to you as much from the heart as I can about this issue. Why? Because my Instagram, every single place where I have access to human beings has been ill-futrated with the theme of cheating and why do women, despite being amazing or despite having amazing qualities, still get cheated on. I think it's on the back of, and I won't title this podcast that way, but it's on the back of a very popular creator called The Wizard Liz being cheated on by a boy who she's with. The reason I say boy is because that is how he comes across to me. Don't know him, don't know her, but his age kind of profiles as boy to me, not man.

And it's literally, this video is not about her at all because again, like I said on my Instagram, I don't know these people. We don't know these people. We're believing a storyline of not we, but you, the people on my DMs, are believing a storyline which might not even be real. Christ, these people might even be AI, we don't know. A kid, but you know what I'm saying, right? So the reason that I actually wanted to come on and talk about this is not about these people who we might not know. But because I can see it's put the fear of living God into women across the internet

because they idolized this woman Liz as their petom of beauty. And it's almost like us as a female species, it's almost like we forget. It's almost like we forget every time because is this the first time you've seen an incredibly attractive, smart, incredible women be cheated on? Is this the first time? It's almost like we've got some kind of unknown guarantee, right? That the only way that you'll be cheated on is that if you're not good enough. But that's not the reality, is it?

We see time and time again, time immemorial, that this one thing, holds true. Whether you're cheated on or not, and really peep this, listen to it carefully, or watch me carefully if you're watching, has nothing to do with you. Okay? Now, in a relationship where you are together, let's say you're in a long-term marriage, the result of your lack of maybe connection, understanding, maybe your neglect in a relationship, let's say you neglect your partner completely, man or woman doesn't matter. might result in an affair. A lack of connection, communication, a lack of sexual intimacy.

Let's just dumb it down. Let's say you don't have sexual intimacy with your partner for five years. They might cheat on you. Yes, that might be your fault. By fault, I mean it in a harsh way. I know that you might cry about it. It's never someone's fault. But it's also that person's prerogative to do the cheating.

So was it your actions that pushed your relationship closer to that? Yes. But you cannot with your actions. actions force someone to cheat. So you might be the most neglectful, abusive, awful, slovenly, disgusting swine yard, right? And you still can't force your partner to cheat. In the same way, you might be the juiciest peach in the world. But no, it doesn't mean that everyone's ready for a peach. You understand what I'm saying? So in the case of this hysteria that has fallen upon my DMs of explain this, how could this happen? And

one of the things I said was it's predictable and the reason I said it's predictable is because life be lifing life loves to throw cup balls life is not about we're often trying to get to the happily ever after and some kind of glow-up idea of us becoming the ultimate goal the girl the dream girl the dream thing and then what problem is going to be solved you're never going to face tragedy you're never we're going to have to traverse through hard times. And this is what I want to say. I will address the question whether all men cheat and we will get there. But because this is not scripted and this is from the cranium straight to you and from the

heart, we're going to go through some valleys and troths, okay, on our way there. The reason I wanted to make the video is, again, not because of famous people who are gorgeous, let's name thousands of famous women who are gorgeous have been cheated on, but the idea itself, why is it terrifying to you? Why did you come into my DMs and ask me whether all men do? What are you afraid of? You are putting your life and future into someone's hands and that is scary. And we've been taught in our society that if we are cheated on, we have to separate from that person. And now I will tell you this thing, first of all, that is entirely up to you. That there is neither a right or a wrong in that. If you want to separate with the person and move on,

because they're disrespecting you, good. If you want to have an open relationship, good. If you want to be with them and turn a blind eye because you kind of like your family and you don't really care that much, good. There is no right or wrong, right? But if you're someone who, let's presume, wants a relationship that is a one-on-one relationship without the cheating, if somebody cheats on you, the reason that you have to be and the content I make and the things I say to you

and the book I wrote and the courses I made are about being the best version of yourself, And here is the breaker. It is not because it's going to make you cheat-proof. Because why? Because you cannot control another person. Nothing in this life can truly be taken away from you because you come into this world with nothing. The hysteria and tragic emotion you feel about the concept of someone cheating

is the fact that it's out of your control. You have to come to a place of understanding of what do I want in this? earth. If I want a committed relationship with someone who doesn't cheat, that is your prerogative to choose, but you also have to give them the autonomy to make the choice about whether they want that with you or not. And it is very sad. It is very sad when you might go through someone's phone and they have cheated on you, they don't want to be with you. Tragic, it's heartbreaking. But what you have to be prepared for is sovereignty and the ability to have your own back in this lifetime. It is not about stopping them from hurting you because life might

and will most likely hurt you. I hope that the worst thing that ever happens to someone is that they get cheated on. It's happened to me, here I am, alive and thriving, okay? There are way worse things that can happen. We know it. We see the news, yeah? We see the world. So if that is one of the lessons, I suppose,

you have opted into, because the experience we are in, on a background level and this muted, real level, that we all understand, we have opted into some of the experiences that we have. There are signs. I'm not saying that women who, get cheated on, chose to be cheated on. But there are men, and here I guess is the answer,

that would not cheat. There are three types of men who would not cheat. Number one, those who are too fearful to do so, they're too fearful. They don't want to lose what they have. They're too scared to be caught. Their fear is higher than their intrigue about the cheating or wanting to get out of it. Sometimes these people even put up with horrible relationships and maybe should have left, but they are too afraid to do so. So that's number one type of man. I'm talking about men here, not women, okay. Number two type is the type who is not sexually interested. He's asexual. Either due to physicality or over time he just has no sexual interest in probably you or other women. So he would not cheat. There's no motivation in it. And type

number three, and this is the most important, is a man who does not want to, chooses not to, chooses his own choice, loves you maybe, maybe has a moral code where it's like biblical or religious is disciplined and doesn't want to. But the caveat of that is, is not because he has the most amazing woman. Notice how none of those men, did I mention that it's up to you whether he cheats or not? Number one, he's too scared. Number two, he doesn't want to because he physically is not interested. Or number three, he does not want to because he, what, has choice.

That is not your choice to control. yes you can optimize your relationship like I say polarity the feminine energy polarity masterclasses i have go in depth and the relationship masterclass chefs care set for everything i know into that okay and my book as well about how to make a relationship amazing spicy and everything but nowhere in that do i say that you have to do these things so that he does not cheat on you because you might be the juiciest peach like i said and he might do that often we opt into experiences with men which are these men are seeking of attention. When I said on my Instagram

that is predictable is because many men who are in the public eye and seek of attention from the public also seek attention from women and they have a lot of options and they feel like there is a lot of options for them and they just don't have the discipline to be with one woman. He's also young.

Youth, when men cheat in their youth, it's often down to stupidity and I'll tell you my cheating story in a second. It is down to stupidity. stupidity and the reason I don't want to do how long it took me to not want to commentate on it is because what a woman can do but she's a very good example Liz of this is to put herself forward and put herself first to the point that if something breaks a boundary for her

that's not being treated on you can get up and walk away your sovereignty and individual autonomy to walk away from a relationship never put yourself in a situation where a relationship depletes you so much where you put yourself second You're not looking your best, you're not acting your best, you're feeling shit. Maybe you financially rely on him, maybe he looks after you financially, and that you can't walk away. That is something you can't put yourself into. So the whole notion of it is you have to be the best version of yourself because you have to be strong on your two feet and know that if somebody chooses to not want to be with you anymore and cheat on you and they know that your boundary is cheating and you wouldn't put up with it,

that you can walk away. There is no and ifs or buts, you walk away. And if you choose that it's not such an important deal breaker for you, then you can stay as long as it doesn't break a spirit. If it's not a big deal for you, some people, it's not. Some people, it's not a big deal. You know, if that is what you want to do, if you have other priorities, like Shira 7, Sprinkle, Sprinkle always says, you know,

all men cheat according to her. So if her man does, she doesn't care as long as he is doing what he needs to do at home and paying her bills. I love that. That is your boundary. Don't do things that won't break your spirit. Our spirit might be broken by that. So you should leave straight away.

The reason you are worried and afraid and you want to know the answer about whether men cheat or not is because you want to know whether your life will be completely broken in the case that you trust someone that you shouldn't have trusted and you want to know how to find out if they will or won't. Female intuition. You know. You know the integrity of a person.

you cannot predict the problems you're going to have in a relationship, but in the back of your mind and in your soul of plexus as a woman, you know the integrity of a person, and you know what they do and what they won't do. And you know whether it's important to you or not. The reason I really wanted to make this piece of content is because I was preoccupied in my 20s with whether I would be cheated on, for example, right? Why was I preoccupied with it?

Because I think if I put myself in your shoes is because I did not know how I could affect, someone not cheating on me. I didn't know how pretty I have to be. I didn't know what the right things I had to say was and I knew that I would leave if someone cheated on me which I was proven right by because my partner of seven years, partner, weird word, boyfriend for seven years, four years, we were together, ended up cheating on me and I had all these signs and feelings and at the end the way I found out was he came home and I said look your friend told me that you cheated and I saw you with someone else. It's because he was doing the classic like not

picking up the phone, disappearing for a while, being distant, when we went out acting a bit single. Nothing obvious, but something in my waters was like, this is off. And I came home and I was like, your friend said that you did cheat. I will forgive you if you tell me the truth. But if you lie right now, then I'll know there's nothing between us left, right? And he said, yes, I did. And in that moment, I even remember I was looking at my hand as it was lying on my lap. It was like one of those earth-defying moments because I realized that even your best friend,

which my boyfriend at the time, I suppose, was my best friend in terms of like knows your life intimately, knows your family is around you, can lie to you like he must have done it at a time when he was telling me he was somewhere else and lying to my face and that shattered my reality of the world. That was like a change of concept of the world for me. I was like, oh, people can claim they love you and be around you and have a life with you and lie. What? And I didn't have a very friendly happy childhood. Like I've seen people lie and stuff and I've seen people do bad things and worse than that. But it was just this concept of like my partner in life, my, my person can lie. And I will say this. Taking a gamble on having a

relationship and being open with someone is like the lottery. If it works out, it's one of the best things that can happen. You win this money. It's like one of the best experiences you can have. But the likelihood of it working is low in terms of the fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce. But on the chance that it works, it's magic, right? On the chance that it doesn't, you lose your money in divorce, you break your heart, someone cheats, it's really not nice, right? But taking the gamble, I think, is worth it. So my obsession in my youth about being cheated on was kind of almost cured by seeing that nothing happened to me. You know that meme? Like, did you die though? You didn't die. Like, people should be allowed, and that is the beauty of the world, to do as they

will and as they please, as you do, and you choose to be on the right side of history. You choose to be the one who didn't cheat. You choose to be the person who does the right thing. You choose to put yourself first. and therein I discovered that I left straight away I discovered that magic can be found on the other side of that and sometimes people leave or cheat or betray you because that person was never your person and sometimes the people that get cheated on and left are the people that would have stayed despite things

the people who would have pursue that relationship and love you unconditionally like I used to be and not see red flags so they need to see a red flag so they need to see a red flag so it slaps them in the face, you know? And so I got myself back in the act of that person cheating. Magic. I'm so grateful and so blessed. Like if I saw him now, I'd be so happy to see him. I'd be so blessed and grateful because I have a life I couldn't imagine that I've, you know, people say they manifest their life. I wasn't even, I couldn't even imagine manifesting a life I have now and the

kids I have and everything. One of the best things that happened to me in life was him cheating. It made me realize I'm not afraid of it. If it happens, I know magic is on the other side. I don't want to be with a person who doesn't want me anyway. And you will be okay. The reason you always need, and this is the thing I want to implore to you, the reason you always need to be ready as in like look your best feel your best do the best things for you don't sacrifice in the relationship be a happy girl not a good girl because good girls don't make history and happy girls do yeah by happy i mean like do things for yourself is because when and if he chooses to do what he's going to do you're okay even if it means staying you're like whatever

you need to be so much the center of your universe and your character you need to de-centered relationships and de-centre men to the point where you know you'll be okay and and detachment is the key to that detachment from a storyline you cannot control someone else the idea i made a tic-tok about don't check his phone it's useless people are like yeah but i want to know if he's going to cheat on me so i can action it the universe will tell you god will tell you you you don't need to always be checking because you are hacking your brain into being like oh he didn't cheat today i'll say he didn't cheat today i'll stay he didn't cheat today i'll stay he didn't cheat today i'll stay you're wasting a lot of time effort and energy. Things always get found out and they come to the forefront. You don't need to be

Mr. Investigator, always checking. You will see that his behaviour does not suit how you want to live. If someone's having affairs and cheating, they're not present there for you, they start doing behaviours that you will feel are odd and you will find out. But you can't be preoccupied with it, is what I'm saying. When you have a fixation and preoccupation, you check the phone, you're always questioning him, you're always tracking him. Can't you see that that's killing your life force? Can't you see you haven't brushed your teeth? You haven't washed your hair. You're degrading as he is building and then at the end of it when you do find out that he's cheating, you are down on the floor, down in the dumps, not living your life and he's flourishing with 500 side chicks.

I want you to de-send a man to the point where it doesn't matter. I know that's radical but you know a relationship's great but that's not going to be your life story that's not going to be your main life story there is other love friendship love you will meet other men you will have children or the children you already have there is so many storylines and so many amazing beautiful things I don't know there is work that can be done on yourself and on the world there is so much love that needs to be given that this one creature of a guy

to track him and monitor him and give your life source and energy to the tracking and monitoring of whether all men cheat or not is so deeply boring and I don't know whether it's some hormonal shift from your 20s to your 30s

where you care so deeply because you want to believe the fantasy that people are you know all amazing and you're going to skip off into the sunset with your one true love because he said he like kind of fancies you at some kind of festival

and like now you're together and in your 30s you're like, man, life is more than that. That if someone doesn't want to be with me, it's so fine. Of course it would be heartbreaking. Yes, it would be. But you will also be fine. You will be fine. You were born without him.

You can be without him. You lived without him for 20 years. You can be without him. I know that there is a part of you that wants me to tell you the algorithm of how to not be cheated on. And I think ironically, the algorithm, is to not be preoccupied about it, to not fixate on it, because, ironically, what you put out there attracts to you, the fear of it, or the concept of it, or the conversation around it. But again and again and again, it's got nothing to do with you. It's almost not your business.

How a person chooses to live their soul in this universe and this lifetime is up to them. So if they choose to act that way, they choose to act that way. It's not about you. You cannot control a sovereign being. You are not, even God cannot control humans, right? Because we have free will. So what makes you think that? Oh, she's all this in a bag of bread. Why did he cheat on her? I don't know. Maybe he's got a thing for whatever it is he found out there. I'd love to say it's unfulfilled ego or it's like Vince, it's insecurity, blah blah blah. It doesn't matter what it is, is the point. It does not matter what it is why are we so fixated dissecting men and why they this that and

the other enough I'll see you on the next one love you lots for journey tops