BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 130: When Life Knocks You Down: The Power of Starting Over

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

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Hello, my beautiful, beautiful human. Welcome to Being Her podcast. Today you're here in my bedroom. And it is September if you're listening to this. And if you're watching this on YouTube or you somehow have scrolled through the internet and have found this later on, this one is going to be a good one. This is going to be useful. This is truly the thing that my whole ethos is based on no matter what life throws at you we will overcome we are unbothered and we do not care what you throw at us okay because we eat bad days for breakfast as I saw someone say online I love that listen it's been a day it's been a

week it's been my birthday on the 7th of September and I felt this internal sense of it being a reset a true reset in every sense of the word okay forgive the background lies my mum has come from London, she's visiting, and she's here with my children, okay? So, and she bought them a drum set. Why wouldn't she? What else would you buy kids? A drum set, obviously. So, what else happened? It was almost like, I cannot even begin to tell you how ridiculous this situation is and how wild it is, and how I realized how far I've come on the journey of being unbothered and the art of detachment serving me in so many ways other than relationships,

but just in life in general. Basically, a few days ago, my house was broken into and robbed. Thank God I was not there because I realized in that moment that all I care about is, in reality, my children and the well-being of human beings. Was it pleasant to know that someone was in my house when I left and took all my stuff within 45 minutes in the morning? No. Have I got security systems and guards and lights and police alerts now?

that's what I've been working on all week? Yes, I have. Yes, I have. You better believe. Did I even perceive that that could happen? No, I did not. It was a completely discombobulating feeling, and I realized in that moment how detached I've become to material possessions, that all I felt was an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I was not in the house. Have I got any more material possessions left? No, I do not, my friend. I do not. Literally. I'm not going to go into details of what was taken because you're not here to experience my what I had and what I no longer have, but basically it's everything I ever got in my, in my 30 plus years, is Gonsky. And it was bizarre. A lot of people have asked me, do I feel like a feeling of intrusion and all that

stuff? And of course I do, but I had this overwhelming sense of gratitude and also an overwhelming sense of starting anew. A lot of these things I'd collected for years. And if you followed my channel for a long time, you know, the kind of things it might be. But I no longer have them. So I no longer have anything to protect except for what matters, and that is my family, and just being with my mum who's visiting me right now. And it was the most overwhelming feeling of newness and refreshment and this sense of obviously adrenaline, because you're like, oh my God, someone was in my house and they took everything. But also, thank God, that I got a warning and I wasn't in the house and no one made children.

So now let it be known. The house is completely gated. Like I hired every single possible solution to secure this house. And had I not have had this happen, I wouldn't have known. You know what I mean? So in saying that and not going into huge details about, you know, what it is and how and what and who, this story is not about that. This story is about starting afresh and freshness.

and I was planning to do this podcast anyway, outside the robbery, but it was going to be about September and honing in on this feeling, apparently, and now I'm not a professional of this, but apparently there is new solar eclipses, whatever it is, in September, which is going to refresh everything for everybody. Now, if you don't believe in that, that's absolutely fine, but, you know, I'm just saying it's not even just me, it's Asoteric too, it's in the astrology, honey. So I want you to take this September in the last three months, September, October, November, December, four months as your new start. Don't wait for New Year. Don't wait for your birthday.

It was my birthday. September, it coincided, but don't wait for it. This is the time to start afresh and start a new, no matter what was the hard thing that happened. You can traverse it and overcome it and you can be grateful as opposed to bitter for that thing no matter what it is. Okay? and I want you to know that. I've made a process and a list of how you are going to do that, how I do it, and I want you to go with that feeling of being unbothered.

Unbothered is back, by the way, unbothered. The groundbreaking masterclass that I didn't even anticipate would do what it did is back for September because I was like, you know what, I was not going to bring it back until next year, but I thought, screw it. This is in the Zite, guys. This is what people need and we're going to do this again. So I'm going to leave it down below, or if you're listening to this, just go on my website, marguerese-Nazerenko.com.

It is there. It will serve you. Trust me. Because Unbothered is about being detached and it is the time to detach. The world is ready for it. The world is not ready for you to try and control other people. It is time to let go and be your true essence, your true self and be on your own journey. The whole point of starting a fresh system for yourself and almost a rebrand and a honing in on the bad things that happened is number one, you cannot fight the reality. You cannot say, let's let's, let's, let's, let's, Let's take it from all realms of life of what you might be watching this. I presume that you're a person, maybe in a country where you have ability to listen to a podcast or an iPad. So our problems might be similar, okay? Because there are problems that we haven't even faced before. But they might be similar in terms of like someone cheated on you and left you. Maybe you got divorced.

Maybe you got robbed. Maybe you got hurt. Maybe something a little bit worse than that happened. But let's just take it from there. Don't find reality and never question why did it happen to me? the only time you should say why did it happen to me is if it's going to empower you if it made you better if it made you stronger and i understand that this might be a position of delusion and people say that you can't say that things happen for a reason because they truly don't and sometimes incredible people

get terrible things happen to them but if you take it from a position of power that this happened to me for me to learn this happened for me to me to prevent this god took this out of my life for me to get better than you are empowered. It is up to you to decide whether you are going to crumble or become a phoenix and rise. Yeah? So whatever it is that happened to you, if he left you and left you with children, you now have beautiful children that are going to be with you for the rest of your life. If you got everything taken from your material possessions, maybe it's not the time to focus on material possessions and people in your life are safe and that is what's important. You need to look intrinsically into every single detail of your life. And instead of saying, why me, woe is me,

say, do you know what? I'm going to empower myself through it. You need to acknowledge the pain, acknowledge the shock, and acknowledge it's real. But we all have it. We all have shock and pain. We all have things that happen to us that are painful. But also mark the line and the fact that it's happened and there's no point in ruminating, going back. What if I didn't stand there? What if I didn't go here? What if I had done this? What if I had done that? There's no point. That's not a powerful position to be looking backwards to, okay? Number two is detach from the old story. your identity isn't tied to the man who divorced you. Your identity isn't tied to the things that are missing.

I remember I lost a bracelet that was very meaningful to me and it was expensive and it was bought for me as a push present or whatever that might mean for the birth of my daughter. I ruminated on that thing for weeks where did I put it. I called the swimming pool where I was wearing it. I called the car where I had the car service that I think I took it out and I went over and over and over again and it caused me two weeks of grief and stress.

Stupid, I know, but as in like grief for an item, that really didn't need to be there. And this time, having done that self-work where I understand that life is transient. It's there for a moment and then it's gone. And we're so lucky to be on this ride and to look at sunshine and to be with our families and experience love and experience all these amazing things

that when loads of items of the same value left, like down to my grandmother's rings and everything, I just thought, oh, okay. Because my rumination did not bring that bracelet back. So what is the point of thinking about them? What is the point of sadness and what is the point of any of it? You need to practice being unbothered in a situation, not because you're trying to be cool,

not because you're trying to be amazing at just like not needing anything, cry if you want to. But if you truly get the essence of the fact that every moment we have this life is a gift, like when people stress about aging, I know it's scary, but also that just means the alternative didn't happen and that is not aging and that means not being on this earth right getting obsessed about what happened to you in the past or how you were treated in the past or someone who cheated on you or someone who hurt you or someone who left you leaves you

playing the character who was hurt or somehow put down and i say that in my podcasts and videos a lot i say you know when you meet a man don't tell him your sub-story about everyone who cheated on you stop playing that character. The more you retell it, the more it leaves you in a victim position and feeling bad about yourself intrinsically, okay? Create a symbolic reset. You got hurt. They didn't want you. You didn't get the job. You needed to create a symbolic reset. September is your new year. It is your new month. If you're watching this in July, give it a symbolic reason. Was your mom born in July? Is there a solstice? Is there something? You need to give it a symbolic meaning. We as humans have been symbolizing things and grounding ourselves onto things like that since day dawn, okay?

You need to create a ritual around your new year. Declature your space. Get a new journal. Mine should be launching soon. I hope it launches by the time this video is live in which in case you can get it. It's Chef's Kisses Beautiful. It's Deep Red. It's Burgundy.

It's gorgeous. It's all those things. I need to set a mantra. Mine is, I have a thing about disappointing people. I want to perform in the best capacity I can for my customers, for my clients, for my friends, for my family, for my mum. My mantra is, you know, it's okay to disappoint people. Like, it's okay.

And do you need to get a mantra to? The act itself of we are starting again is not trivial and it is not silly and it is not something to be frowned at. It's not something to be laughed at. It is real. It is very, very real. So people like, oh, yeah, new, you knew me. No.

Actually, those are the people that create change. changes in their lives, okay? Number four, rebuild small and rebuild strong. Don't overwhelm yourself with a massive overhaul, like throughout a whole wardrobe, you know, leave your whole house and do all that stuff, okay? Focus on one or two key habits and daily rituals like journaling, moving your body, yoga is an amazing one, nourishing your body with foods. Like, for example, since my mum has come here, I have eaten foods, which is fine, whatever. I don't really care about it, but I've, like, bread and processed breads and stuff, normally I'm keto, which have made me feel not the best version of me. You need to layer on a habit every week that forms you into the new version of yourself, okay?

Number five is shifted to gratitude and a bigger vision of what you're going to be. Gratitude is the best tool I have ever used, and there is a gratitude section of the journal that I am launching or have launched, and it's not just about, oh, I'm so grateful that, you know, I have this or that or whatever. It is literally about reframing your mind's eye into noticing the things that are beneficial and amazing for you in order for you to get more beneficial, amazing things coming towards you, okay? You then notice ways in which you can optimize your life.

You then notice ways in which you can do better. You then notice ways in which you can achieve more, okay? Vision sets your eye forward instead of backwards. So instead of being like, I'm the person who got her. I'm the person who got this. person who got that and the person whose dad didn't like them, you set your vision forward. Be delusional. Delusion is a gift, okay? Everybody loved you. Your father was there for you, everything, because your brain doesn't know neurologically, if it's true or not, okay? I am blessed. That is me.

I am 100% the luckiest human being walking. I just feel that way. A practical exercise is write down three things you're grateful for and one thing you're excited to create each night. So, If you're not willing to buy a journal or, you know, have prompts, you can just get prompts from, you know, just Google it, right? It doesn't have to be anything incredible. A lot of people like to journal in the morning. I don't like that. I like to live my day and be like three things that I'm grateful for and one thing that I'm going to focus on tomorrow. And number six, literally choose to be unbothered. And being unbothered is a mix of letting go of control, of life and what you think you can control because you can't. and at the same time being in awe and grateful for the experiences you get to have. Being unbothered doesn't mean cold.

It means calm and rooted. What gets you rooted is the appreciation of incredible things, being in awe of them and what is important, and at the same time letting go of things you can't control. That double system is very powerful. You get to be graceful in the face of adversity. You get to be graceful in the face of suffering. You get to be an example to your children, to your friends. You get to be somebody to be admired and you are.

Carry yourself with a peace and a knowledge that you have your own back if anything goes wrong. Yes, you might cheat on you. So what? You've still got yourself. Yes, they might not give you the job. So what? You've still got yourself. Okay?

Where the power lives is responding to things and not reacting to things. you are not like this dead shell, right? But you also can take a pause. You also don't just react. You also don't just jump to conclusions. You plan how you're going to do things. You strategize. You decide what's best for you in the long run.

Life can knock any of us down. But how you get up is what counts. How you process that is what counts. It might not have happened for a reason, but if you decide that it did, then it did. and if it makes you more powerful, then in turn, it happened for a reason. You understand what I'm saying? What defines us is not how perfect our lives look, how amazing they are, the things that we have, but it's how gracefully, how beautifully, and how effortlessly seemingly we can reset ourselves

and we can restart again and we can burn bright like a phoenix. And I think you can rise higher before you did when things happened to you. So you're probably watching this because they did. And I believe in you that you can restart and be an even better version of yourself because it's in there. Your highest self knows it's in there. See you on the next one.