BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 139: 15 Subtle Ways To Make Him Miss You (Without Games)

Episode Date: November 16, 2025

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Listen, I just spent four hours in traffic. Welcome to the Being Her podcast. So this one's going to be a mixture of just wanting to let my energy out. As you know, I recorded my car. I just got home. My kids are upstairs. They are with an adult. They are safe. And I just want to run up and down the street because my energy is so bent up. But I also want to tell you this podcast. podcast, tell you this podcast, acknowledge you with this podcast, berate you with this podcast of subtle ways. Perhaps 15 of them that will make him miss you without games. Okay? Why? Because you want details. I asked you guys on my Instagram, what is it you want?

You sexy little munchkins. And you all said, we want detailed. We want detailed scripts. We want detailed ideas. We want all that good stuff. And here I am to deliver with my. pent up energy. This is what teenage boys must feel like with all that pent up energy. You know, like boys just want to run up and down the street. But in other news, before we dive in,

I just want to let you know that I had, I had, and I'll put her in the description box below. Her name is Rachel. My color analysis is done and I'm a light summer. Now, if you're not watching me on YouTube, you might be like, what's a light summer? Well, that is me. Okay? And I'm wearing this orange dress at the moment, which is a double layer dress. The top is orange and the bottom is this. like mint green, a color that I would never usually wear because I'd be like that would wash anybody out. Alas not, not my light summer face. Look at that. If you're watching this, apparently, this suits me way more than the orange. If you're not watching, that would have not made sense. But color analysis is just another thing to add to my, you know, ways to

solve develop, because we're always on a self-development journey. If you haven't jumped on the 40% sale in November, site wide before all of the feminine energy leaves the building, I would suggest you do so because I love that stuff. And I've been writing emails to everyone just being like, buy it, buy it. And people have been like, these are a lot of emails saying buy it. And I'm like, yeah, because it's good. And it's leaving. And these things are my babies. So I don't want you writing to me in my DMs afterwards going, um, excuse me, how do I get, um, this course I've really wanted? You can't. Jessica, you can't. Now, let's let's talk about.

it, what we gathered here for, what we are gathered here for, ladies and germs. And that is how to make someone miss you with your behavior, not being a manipulative shrew, but being genuinely you, because we've got this misconception about the fact that in order to make people miss us, in order to make people value us, we've got to be fake. Oh, Margarita, I just want real love. I just want that real love. I don't want a fake hit. And I always say, listen, it's not fake. It's not fake. Even the... Okay. Hammer time.

Stop. The personality you have, the way you react, the person who you think you are is a series of ways that you've learned to react to the world around you, okay? If you learned somehow in your childhood that, let's say when people argue, you just shut down and that kind of makes you safe and that works, you will feel like a person that is not confrontational, not argumentative and does not call people out on their shit, right? That does not mean that's you. that means that this is the way you've learned to react to your environment. Is that the most conducive thing for you to always be that way? No, it's not. Why not?

Because there is no such thing as this authentic you that everybody idolizes on the internet. Does be authentic, be authentic you. Who is that? How about we be the person that creates the result that you want and make that the authentic you? The one that regulates your nervous system. The one that makes you feel good about yourself. Why not be that person? So let's start at the beginning.

To make a man in your life, and let's make it about men because I know you got at least love to talk about men, but if you're someone else watching, apply it to work, apply it to friends, apply it to anyone. But let's talk about men. Let's talk about Steve. To make Steve, because you want scenarios, miss you more, the number one thing you need to do is instead of trying to play games with your phone, like, oh, I won't reply to him for two hours,

or I'm going to reply to him later. I won't reply to him after one day. All of that nonsense. That is playing games. A game is a structured set of rules in order to, you know, play with somebody, right? But instead, you switch from instant replies to considered responses. Now, what that does, fair lady, is if you stick to the rule of only sending considerate responses and not impulses with your lizard brain as you flail around trying to make him like you or approve of you or whatever it is you're trying to do, wife you,

then you are by nature of that action not replying to him too fast and not getting boring and not being that moose who's right at the doorstep when he's gone hunting and so he's got nothing to hunt. If you make that law with yourself that you'll only reply after you've considered a response, not while you're doing shopping, not while you're trying to drive, not while you're trying to do all these things. You're going to consider your response. You're going to take a beat, take a pause, think about what you want to say and then reply. you will create space and therefore polarity and sexual attraction, okay, because scarcity creates value, okay? Thoughtfulness beats speed. Why? Because nobody likes a sloppy hamburger thrown at them. Everybody wants a gourmet meal. I want you to be that gourmet meal. I want you to be fought through. I want you to be an experience. I want him to wait on your response. People love to wait for the thing they

desire. Reply when you're truly available, when you're composed, when you've thought about we're going to say, mull on it a little bit, think about it, add a beat, you know, add some new ones. Oh, that's games, Margarita, that's not me. No, it's not. This is the new you. This is the new you, Jessica, you know, and if he's like, oh, you haven't been replying as much recently, just be like, sorry, I saw this and I completely forgot. Sorry, I saw this and I was painting my hamster's nails. Never be like, I'm trying to create more thoughtful responses for you so that I magnetize you with my sexual attraction, okay? Do not punish him with lack of replies.

Do not have rules. Like, I only reply after 5 o'clock and all these, like, really, I know the word in Russian. I don't know it in English, like these really, like, outdated rules. Number two, always end on a high note. People are like men, men especially, are very trickable when it comes to psychology. If you are a woman. I'm not saying men, if you're watching this, you're trickable in general.

I know you're very smart, you're very amazing, you built the world, go, you're saying with the feminine, it's very easy to trick them. So if you end on a high note, you leave that person wanting more. If you overstay, if you are just always wanting more, always hanging out on the phone. So what else did you do? Text him more, text him again. And then what we like to do as girls is if you contact Stu, like tell him about your horrible day and how Dave at work was really mean. and no no and all the stuff, you need to wrap things up on a peak. Like, when it's getting good and it's amazing?

Like, you feel it peaking. Be like, you know, I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Not as a game, but as a way to continue the joyful experience because men want to experience more of something that is amazing. So if you're on a date or you're in a conversation and everything is just viving,

don't let it die. Don't let it go flat. People do this like with marketing or like, you know, those devour. in music, they'll come to an industry event, but they won't be the last one that stays, okay? You cannot be the last one that stays. Rap dates are touch earlier than when they go flat.

You know, even with friends, like you're hanging out with a friend, you're out dinner, and then you're vibing and it's amazing, and the desserts come, and then it gets a bit sad, and you're like, I wish I could have gone home half an hour earlier, and then you're, like, get home, and you're like, why did I stay the hour longer? Wrap it up when it's good, wrap it up when it was spicy, wrap it up, lingering until the energy dips. You've got to be an expert in energy. And this is not games. You've got to know how to manufacture an impression of you and life that you want. This is still a genuine you, but you're orchestrating the play and the movie. You are the creator of your own movie. Make sure the lead

heroine, i.e. you, leaves on a high note and everybody wants more. Everyone wants to watch the sequel, not when it gets dry and dusty. Okay. Number three, you need to create a life that he misses being a part of if you are always his side character if you're always the robin to his bit man it's not going to create that okay desire grows when there is a contrast to the world that he's seeing you have and the world that he's in and he is not in it women make this stupid mistake where they think that if they just be a tale to a man that they are infatuated with and just follow him around like said tale that he'll be like wow i really appreciate her because she's just there for me. No, you need to, no matter how much he likes you, and it's so natural for us to just

sacrifice our life for a guy. And even when we don't think we're doing it, we just give up on what we love, right? And we're like, right, I'm going to keep doing my hobbies and doing what I like. At your own peril, do you give them up? You need to keep living your life, not only because you need it in case he doesn't want you anymore, you cannot give up your life, right? But also because he wants to be a part of a world that's exciting. You've got this thing on Wednesday, you've got that thing on Friday, the more exciting you can be, the more he'll book dates with you anyway, because he will know, oh, but Margarita will never see each other. Well, if he, if, if, if, because you got Pilates on Wednesday, he can never see you, then I don't know what kind of man he is, because men have

moved mountains to see women and he can't move Pilates, honestly. You need to always be moving and exciting and not be on standby. Nobody wants standby, Sarah, okay? Not even with friends. Like, she's always available. She's not doing anything with her own friends. She always wants to hang out with you but never innovates and does anything on her own, like for you or for the friendship. You're like, why am I always the one steering the ship, Sarah? Number four, keep your tone low and warm. The way I talk to you, like a lunatic, is not how I talk to men or my husband, because I don't talk to men in a trying to seduce some kind of way anyway.

But if you have a calmness and a femininity to you, it reads a certainty and it reads as magnetic. If you are frantic and wild, like I am with you right now. on this podcast because I've been in this car for 500 years. Yes, it could be funny. Yes, it could be whatever, but it's not going to make him want to be intrigued by you and miss you, because that's what this podcast is. It might make him laugh, right? I do bring out my humor with my husband, but if I want him to be missing me and intrigued by me, I turn on different qualities. And that is a calmness, an allure, a slowness to my tone, listening more than talking,

you know, audible urgency, like how I'm talking to you right now, like da-da-da-da, all of this. And high-pitched kind of like, all the time makes men feel lean back from you, okay? I know that you might not want to hear it because, you know, patriarchy's dead, 50-50, all of that. I'm just saying even in friendship, business and in any kind of thing, a person who's like really high personality and erratic and just spills all the beans all the time. makes people lean back and not miss you so much. It's just human psychology. I didn't write it, okay? Number five, replace check-ins, which we love to do as girls with anchors.

Rituals of what you guys do together beat reminders of like anxiously reaching out. Like, hey, did you get home? Did you get home safe? Like, because he didn't get home safe, he's got home safe for 30 years of his life, he suddenly didn't get home safe. If you create points of contact that you always hang out on Thursdays or you always, the way to make him know, to always contact you, let's say, before bed,

is to tell him how much you love it. Like, I love it when you tell me good night. I love this, about that. I love hanging out with you for coffee on Thursdays. You do it with positive reinforcements, as opposed to constantly pinging him with a hat. What are you doing? WID, what are you doing?

Are you okay? You didn't reach out to me. As soon as you make it an obligation, you make yourself somebody who is not missed and this constant pain in the ass that he's got a report to like a mummy, like he or his mom. And if you don't, that being a mum or manager or a martyr are the things that are going to kill sexual energy. If you don't know about that, watch the previous podcast, okay?

Or listen to it indeed. Number six is you need to have clarity in your yeses and your nose. They need to be clear. You think he's going to miss you by being mixed signals that actually kills momentum and it kills people's wanting to initiate and be forward with you. Because you're always, I'ming and aering, you're not sure. if you want to say no, say no without an apology. It intrigues men, especially if you have strong boundaries.

They're like, who does she think she is? Who does she think she? I see who she is. I see who she is. She's that girl. Like, for example, if you're all like, maybe I could. I don't know. Well, if you finish, then I guess I could finish earlier as well.

And then I could meet you after work. And it creates a feeling of somebody who is easily moved in the world and therefore not so. valuable with like appointments that are hard to get with like this amazing doctor or with I don't know like buying a burkin and Hermes you don't miss those appointments because you know that there'll be someone else standing by so you need concrete yeses or knows you need to be about it right number seven create more silence in your conversations let the silence carry the weight space invites him to fill it okay and silence is not like horrible or doesn't mean you're boring it threatens you because you're used to closing the gaps all the time because you're my anxiously attached girlie. That's who you are

because that's who I used to be. And I know you're that way because I see you in my DMs and I know you very well. Okay. That's why you clicked on this video. Yeah. And I suppose the reason I don't have guests on my podcast is because you're the guest and I know you're so intimately well, which is why we're having this conversation. And I know space scares you because you think if you fill it, you become intriguing. But actually, you become annoying my love. It's not intriguing to always close the gap. not intriguing to always think that you've got to say something entertaining or amazing. Oversharing is also a way to hide your true personality and create distance between you. Okay.

If you let him talk more, and this is the dark psychology part, he will like you more because he will feel you know him more and therefore he will feel he is so special because men love to talk about themselves. Okay. I've said this before. Number eight is keep your schedule, don't collapse it. I know it's really hard because you want to be around him because he's so cute and so adorable and you just want to be around him. But that's not the way you make him miss you, which is after all what this podcast is about collapsing your whole schedule builds resentment because he's like, why is she doing everything for me?

I didn't do that much for her. And now I owe her, yuck, get away from me, woman. I know you don't think it does. You're going to be like, no, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. And then you're going to grow up. And when I say grow up, you could grow up and be a 50 year old, right? You're going to grow up to this situation and be like, oh, it does.

Okay. When you have your own schedule, people find that admirable and amazing. They want to be a part of your world. If he texts last minute, don't collapse your schedule. If he drops comments about, oh, yeah, we should meet up today. Don't be like, yeah, when, yeah, when? I'm free. Yeah, when.

You have a schedule, okay? It's a very important schedule. You're a very important woman. Number nine. Be specific with your praise for his actions and very sparing with praise for things that he did not create or deserve. I call it being and doing. This is the crux of how you compliment a woman. You compliment a woman for what she is being, her being.

She is beautiful. I'd compliment a friend for her kindness. I'd compliment a woman for her energy, for how she's being, who she is, things that she did not work to do. Yes, of course, I'd compliment her on other things because she's my friend. But if I was a man, I wouldn't be like, I really admire. how you make that money and that's why I want to be with you women would be like why did he just say that to me does he want to be with me for my that's really weird whilst a man if you compliment him on things that he did not deserve like his chiseled jaw or his height as much as he will tell you that he's

complimented by that like wow you're so tall dark and handsome it might feel nice but he will again grow to resent you because he did not work for those attributes men love to be praised for things they worked for Oh my God, Josh, you can deadlift that whatever. That's amazing. I don't even know what a deadlift is, okay? But you can do that. Oh, my God. Do you build this yourself?

Oh, my God. You passed that and you studied like that. Oh, my God. These are things that they worked for. No matter how hard he works, if he is 5 foot 9, he's not going to get to 5 foot 10. Not that he should be 5 foot 9 is tall enough, right? I'm just saying there's no hard work he can do for being tall.

So when you're like, wow, you're so tall and so handsome, that's annoying to him in the back of his psychology, okay? praise the behavior you want more of praise the things that he did and that will make him want to lean into you and miss you because he will want more praise for doing a good job they really love doing a good job number 10 exit the manager role exit it right now i reference this already but polarity needs lanes you need to be his girl because if you come out of the girlfriend the sexy role the kind of the flirting and the playfulness and you start managing him he will see you as that role mother or manager and then the playful girlfriend role gets opened up and then he starts looking for that energy somewhere he starts watching it online he starts watching it on forums he starts looking for it at work because that energy is now free because he's got his mommy manager over here and i'm not saying it's your fault if he looks for that that's his quality of character but that's going to be missing in him even if he doesn't and he's

not going to be missing you because that feminine playful energy is really addictive nobody misses their manager, okay? The mom, that's a different role, but that killed polarity and sexuality. Number 11 is keep some things private when it comes to like your ailments, your crusty ex-monia elbow, like that you farted yesterday. I go on about this, but it's like an obvious thing. If you want someone to miss you, there needs to be a little bit of mystery and pacing. How to create mystery and pacing. Roll things out slowly and don't talk about things that you imagine that your auntie who's 60 years old would talk to you about. You know when when you come and she's like, oh, how are you? Yeah, I'm good. I took this anti-ulsa pill and then, you know, I was kind of having gird. I don't even know what all

these things mean, right? But you're listening and you just feel your soul die a little bit because like you care, but also this is the first thing you asked and she's going on and it's just too much and you just don't understand. Don't be that auntie, okay? Don't be that person. Number 12, have contact and retreat, micro-dosing of affection imprints on a person and makes them want more, especially when it's not consistent, as in like you see him on Monday, then you don't. And then listen, I could be really toxic and be like be hot and cold. And that means like be really onto him and then kind of cool and that will make him really addicted to you. But we're not going to do that. I would not advise you that. Would I? Would I? I don't know. Maybe I would.

You need to sometimes be intentionally touchy, sometimes be pulled back. And that is not games. That is not games. Sometimes you're sovereign about your body. Sometimes you're in connection. You don't always have to be in a certain rhythm. When rhythms change, it's actually playful and amazing. 13. If you always want to talk to you at night, always wants to talk to you in the morning. I even have this as a married woman. My husband sometimes likes to call me on the way from work, and I love to talk to him. But a lot of times I'm putting the kids to bed or I want to talk to my mom. And as much as my nervous system just wants to jump on the call with him, because I don't want to create that space and disappoint him. After a while, I had to be like, you know what? I'm going to protect

my evenings or in your case, it might be your mornings or your time with your mom or your drive. and you have to say to yourself, if he wants to, he'll find the time to contact me at another time. And guess what? He always does, okay? Number 14, and this one's a good one, and I might have to do a whole separate episode on it, but frame standards as preferences.

There is this dichotomy between when you're a dormant and you're hugely anxiously attached and you do anything that he says, basically, and then you kind of ripen out of that, and you crack that dinosaur egg, and you come out of it, and now you're this ferocious dinosaur, and you're like this independent woman, you're like, I'm not going to take any shit from men. I have standards and boundaries.

Both of those are hugely reactive to the man in your life. The first one is where you're a dormant and you just completely placate everything he wants. And the second one, you're still as reactive, but now with anger, anger is healthier than being a dormant and getting people walking all over you because, you know, when you have no reactions and no emotions and people walk all over you, that leads to all kinds of ailments that you don't want. at least healthy anger is expressive so you're not repressing it but there is a third way to be and that is to have standards that you don't have to yell about standards are freeing and rules are parental translate boundaries into a personal taste i like a man who wants to get married i want to be with someone who wants children they're just your inviting tantalizing preferences they are not ruled you need to want children with me you need to want to get married you need to want to get married I prefer making plans. I really love it when a guy picks me up for a date. Like I love it. It makes

me feel so happy. You're so hot when you pick me up for a day, etc. Avoid you should or you need to or I'd never be with a man. Da-da-da-da-da. Like, why are you so berating? Like I think a lot of people want to parent their husband and partner, honestly. I don't know. This maternal energy is too much. Number 15. And this one's very hard. You need to close loops without chasing the closure from other people, okay, from him. You need to end conversations clean if he's insulted you and you're like, that was really mean. Ouch. And he's like, yeah, well, that's what I said. You don't need to be like, well, why did you say it, Clive? Why did you say it and go on about it and on about it? You need to understand that sometimes someone was mean to you and that is what they were and now you need to

decide whether you want to be around them or not. And that is your decision. You don't have to be, but you don't chase someone for closure. Okay. After a day or a call, you can send a note, for example, be like, thank you so much for inviting me out or whatever. And then if he doesn't contact you back again, you're not going to be like, so did you enjoy the date when can we meet up again. You don't do that kind of thing. You don't follow up with essays. You don't double text. You don't text longer paragraphs than him.

All of this chasing energy is going to make nobody miss you. It's very tiresome, laborsome and annoying. Now, on that note, I'm going to get out of this car. I hope you enjoyed my pent-up energy. my teenage boy energy on this episode. And we're going to have a really exciting 2016. She regressed 10 years, 2026. I'm so excited about it.

We got so much in the works. I love you lots like jelly tots. See you on the next one. Bye.