BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 17: 5 Rules Of Women Who Drive Men Crazy & Get The Love They Want

Episode Date: July 17, 2023

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Welcome to Being Her, the ultimate guide to living your best life as her. Join me, Margarita, on an empowering journey to discover your feminine energy, build meaningful relationships, and find your purpose. Let's dive in and explore all things womanhood together. Welcome to today's podcast. I am so excited to talk to you again. We are going to talk today about the type of women that drives men crazy, that men are obsessed about, because there is a lot of back and forth in our community.

about what kind of woman it takes. And I know the old adage is just be yourself. It all doesn't matter. Just do what you want to do. Be yourself. But the reality is, what is the self? Philosophers have been going back and forth about the concept since the start of time. So when someone gives you the advice, as good as it might be, just be yourself. Just be yourself with him. I think that is the hardest concept to try and implement in your everyday life because that is something that you're going to spend your whole life finding and trying to practice in your life. Is the self the ego? Is it how you were raised?

Is it nurture? Is it nature? Is it all these things? And when you try and attach your love life, which I believe just needs certain techniques and certain rules to make you come out on top because like anything in life, going to the gym, lifting barbells, cooking well, you just need a series of rules that make you know that you are in the right steps. If you just follow those as opposed to trying to implement this rule of being yourself, which

in the beginning is flawed to me anyway, then I think it's a better and smarter idea. So I came up with this list of five things and those things are going to help you understand the type of women that I have found again and again and again makes men obsess about her, crazy about her, and gets the type of love she wants in life and gets the type of needs met that she wants and has her feelings acknowledged. So let's not beat around the bush and just start discussing rule number one. Rule number one of a woman who men go crazy over and who knows her worth, this archetype woman that, you know, might take a whole book to describe and maybe I'm working

on it, maybe I'm not, who knows, who knows, let's think about that. But one of the five rules is if a man has disappeared, he's suddenly been contacting her, then he's done the ghosting act. She does not pin him down in order to explain to him what she needs, why she needs it, and why she won't accept him disappearing from her life. Write him long emails about why you can't treat her that way. She doesn't tell him what it is that she needs to be treated like and she doesn't confront him with what she needs because if he has disappeared, then she respects his choice to do so and she accepts it. This woman knows one fundamental truth that she does not meet someone's disappearance and someone's lack of acknowledgement of her and someone's ghosting her

with an opening of emotion. She does not respond to a lack of interaction with more interaction. She doesn't chase. That is not her operandi. That is not what she does. Because that is what we often do with women. As soon as he pulls back, we turn on the gears of chasing. We want to show him that we're there, that we're available, and we want to have the conversation, to have the conversation, why did he go away? Why did he go? Why is he no longer interested? I'm not going to. We pretend, we pretend that it's because we want to lay down our boundaries and lay down our laws and explain to him why that cannot be done to us. But that's not the reality. You're just trying to self-soothe by reaching out to him. under no circumstance does this woman who makes man go crazy about her ever respond to someone's dismissal and ghosting with an opening of her heart

she opens her heart to those who are around her who give her time and who give her energy she loves attention but she doesn't demand it demanding attention and demanding love therefore means that that person is not for you It means they don't want to give it to you. And there's a respect in that. The fact that you should respect another person's will and another person's ideas of what they want in life. You cannot force someone to want to be around you. And the idea that you think it's holding someone accountable

by letting them know that you can't be ghosted and that it's rude, you're not their mother. You are not their parent. It's not your job to raise this person. It's your job to judge them as a potential partner and a future wife, as it were, if that is what you want, a partnership or a marriage, and say that's not for me. It's not your job to raise them again. So if they ghost you and they don't want to be around you and they only call you at 2am on a Saturday, it's not your job to tell them

that that's not to be done with people and it's not very kind and it's not very nice. No, you just put a tick by their name that they're the Saturday 2am type of guy. They're not the type of guy that you want. And that is your prerogative. That is your choice to not want to be with him, but it's not on you to educate him or to give paragraphs about how you should or should not be treated. Trust me, men respond way better to silence and you moving on than any paragraph that you are going to write. This woman values her time. She knows that it's not that he's just got to get used to her or got to fall in love with her more or she's got to make him a really nice meal or she's got to do some acrobatic sexual maneuver. She knows that he is presenting what he is

presenting and she takes it as it is. So if he often goes missing, she accepts that and she thinks that's not the type of partner for me. There is nothing you can do as a woman to become his dream girl. If you've ever wanted to make a podcast, if you've got something to say, which I think all of you do, Spotify has a platform for you that you can do it really easily on. All in one place, it's free and you can even earn money. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone or computer, which is what I do. So no matter what your setup is, it's not complicated to start creating today. Then you can distribute it everywhere that podcasts are listened to.

Then you can even monetize it. You can do a Q&A section. You can do polls and all these amazing things. Basically, it was really, really easy for me to do. For me, the obstacle was the tech aspect. And I know a lot of you wanted to hear from me. So Spotify made it possible for me to create this podcast. So I'm really grateful.

Download the Spotify for podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com forward slash podcasters to get started. Except for knowing when you are the dream girl or not, that is the key. That is the gift that you have. You know when someone is crazy about you and you can deduce that. There is no paragraphs and monologues, like I said. There is no time waited. There is no meal you're going to cook. him. She knows if he's into it, then let's go. And if he's not and he's ghosting, then it's not for her.

And there is no time that's going to change him. There is no assignment that he's got to do. If it's a ghosting type of guy, then it's always going to be a ghosting type of guy. She's the type of woman who, when ghosted, gets bored as opposed to upset. You need to train yourself to get bored as opposed to sad, upset in your feelings, in your emotions. Because at the end of the day, it might spike your cortisol right now, and it might, you know, get you into your hormones of, oh, when will I get the reward? When will I not? But at the end of it all, when you've married him for 20 years, it's going to be deeply boring, when he's not there for you and your kids, when he doesn't come through for you again, when you weren't his dream girl, and he's not interested and he's down the bar, pub, wherever, with his friends, or off with another woman. It's not going to be interesting anymore, and it's not going to be cute, my love. It's not going to be funny. It's going to be very, very sad. So there is no excuse he can give you. You just need to know he's not for you. And a woman who men are crazy for knows this because she doesn't waste her time. She's on to the next one. So this is number one. If he's ghosted and he's disappearing, then he's out of the roster. He's no longer

in the lineup to be your future potential partner or husband. It's not interesting. It's deeply boring and there is nothing you need to explain to him or tell him unless of course he comes and sees you and he's like, I don't know what happened. Then you can shortly say, look, it's just not for me. I like a more interactive relationship, my guy. But there is nothing you need to do, no paragraph you need to write, nothing. He's just not in the roster anymore. Rule number two of a woman who makes men crazy about her and gets the love she wants is she knows if he's not 100% in, he's completely out. There is no unsureness, no unsure men, no let's have space, no, I'm not sure. right now, she's not offended by that. She's not upset about that. She respects people and what they

want to do, but nor does she let that type of man in her life. If he doesn't want to introduce you to his friends, if he gets you quickly to leave when he is with you because he doesn't want you to know his family yet. If he is doing all these things and he's not sure and he's unming and a then that's a no. It's either a yes. And if it's not 100% yes, then any other thing she knows is a no. If she is the one trying to lock down the relationship and trying to guess and trying to decipher how he feels and he's not come up with his feelings and he's not tried to claim you in the relationship, like, do you want to be my girlfriend? Not in those phrasings, but whatever it is that you would expect or do you want to do this together or I just don't want you to see other people, I want to be with you. If he hasn't said any of that, that means it's not a thing. It means that maybe you're just getting to know each other.

Like I say, it's just dating. It's not that serious. Until he has said that he is the one for you and that is how he means to move forward, then it's an open book. It doesn't really matter. He's just someone you know, an acquaintance. This woman also understands the biology and the role it plays, which is part of point number two. She knows that if someone is inconsistent and they're uning and are mena-nogneying and they haven't decided, it triggers your brain to get very excited. There's an experiment that they did with rats where when a treat was given inconsistently,

the rat was obsessed with pressing the button which gave the treat. But when the treat was given consistently or completely not at all, the rat got bored of it very fast. There's something in the brain that when a reward is not consistent, that makes it very addictive. So when a woman sees that a man is unming and aering, she is quick to cut that short and to stop that conversation. She doesn't let him sit with half an ass on the chair. your whole ass or get off the chair. There are many people waiting to sit down. She understands that she doesn't want to be tricked into her limbic system to be in and out of it, in and out of it. Oh my God, is he going to yes, say yes or no? Or what does he want? It is like a torture.

She knows and she knows that that is not the life she wants, so she cuts it off fast. She understands that a maybe is a no, not a yes. If he hasn't made plans, it means there are no plans. If he hasn't said that he wants to be with you long term, that means he doesn't. If he hasn't said that he loves you, that means he doesn't. If he hasn't said it, that means it doesn't exist. Stop guessing, stop trying to put words where there aren't any. Stop looking through his text messages with your friends and guessing what that meant. It meant nothing.

If he's not sure, then you're not sure. You're bored. Rule number three of a woman who gets the love she wants and makes men crazy about her, obsessed with her. She trusts her feelings. we as women, the smaller of the creatures that we are mammals, we have a very good intuition and we have a very good feeling system. We have been taught to not rely on it. We have been taught to logic our way out of it. But if a man consistently makes you feel lonely, if you're consistently feeling displaced, unloved, unseen, you're worried that he's talking to other women, something, it just keeps tripping, that alarm system in your brain. me my love it's doing it for a reason I'm not saying it's because he is cheating but I am saying

it's because he makes you feel unsafe and as spicy as that my feel in the moment it's not so spicy for a lifetime and most of the time I found 90% of the time your feelings or even higher are correct they will be correct so when your feelings come up and they go oh I'm feeling lonely or I'm feeling sad or he doesn't really give me the love I need instead of trying to reason yourself out of it. I want you to trust your emotions. I want you to give yourself that respect. You were born as you and you have lived with you for your whole life and your body and your feelings are trying to protect you. And even if they are wrong, they are telling you that that man might not be for you because he does not make you feel safe. So women who get the love they want are quick to notice

their feelings and back away from things that don't serve them because they know that that's going to cause a really hard life for them and they're not about that. They're about the soft life. These women know that a man is supposed to be there to make you feel safe and amplify that feeling in your life, not to make you feel on edge, not to make you feel unsure. So as soon as she feels those feelings, she sits down with herself and she honors her feminine. She honors what it is to be her feminine and she lets that flow and guide her as opposed to trying to out logic herself in that masculine form. And if you guys haven't seen my 20 feminine principles, they are in the description of this or just go on to margarita nazarenko.com, my name, and you can find it. I've put together

20 principles of feminine energy and it's something that I'm really proud of. It's the principles that I work on and I have kind of based my life around that have really helped me achieve. both in life, relationships, and career. So that is a little note on that. So when I say feminine energy, that is a bit of a clarification. But those women let that energy guide them. The fourth rule of women who get the love they want and make men obsessed with them is that she knows from the beginning, she's like a little eagle.

She's watching for that man that she just met. We have a very inbuilt female thing where we can make a guy who's not interested in us look like he's interested. But this type of woman, she knows that if he is not actively courting her, that means she made it up in her mind. Because if in the beginning, before he's even slept with you, he cannot make a date, he cannot take you out to a restaurant that he feels will impress you, or even if you're not the type of people who like restaurants to the skate park that he thinks you'll really like, if he's not thinking about you and saying good morning to you and all these ways that he wants to connect with you, that means he is not going to chase you in the future.

Let's use that word. Chase, if he's not chasing you in the moments before he's even slept with you, then this type of woman knows one sure thing. She knows that it's not that it's going to take him some time. It's not that she's just got to tell him how to buy her flowers. Trust and believe, you're a human being. You've been crazy about someone. It makes you do crazy stuff. So if he's not chasing you in any type of way, not creating time for you, he's always. busy at work, he's always this one, the other one. It's not that he's ghosting you. It's not that he's unsure, but you've just met him and in the first week, two weeks, three weeks, he's just not running after you, chasing you, wanting to impress you. She knows it's probably

a non-starter because that's the time where men are most motivated to make an impression. There might be other reasons why he's not chasing you. Maybe he's in a relationship. Maybe you're not his dream girl. Maybe he's not that interested. Hey, he's just not that into you. but she knows how to pick a man who's generally showing interest. And I know a lot of you thinking, yes, but narcissists love a bomb. And that is true. That doesn't mean she jumps in the sack with him because that is why I say to date a few people get to know them because a narcissist will show his face. He will not like it that you won't sleep with him straight away. He will lose interest. He will try and manipulate you. That is why you've got to keep yourself to yourself until you really see what that person's

intentions are. But that woman also knows that she doesn't need to sleep with him to hook his attention. She doesn't need to do anything, but make sure that he is chasing you in the beginning. And that is something these women look out for. The last rule of this type of woman is that she puts herself first before the relationship in the beginning and during, because she knows that what she has is herself. And I don't mean in the selfish, horrific way of she has this massive ego and she walks around toting it like a handbag. No, it means that if she had plans to do her nails, and that might sound trivial, and that is why I use a trivial example, she keeps that up. If she has a certain lifestyle she has, and if she likes to crochet, God damn it, and that is the thing she likes to do, then she

keeps that up. She has a life which she is proud of and she has built, and she is not going to compromise anything for it. And in fact, the example of crocheting, you guys think that you need to put out extremely fun Instagrams about how you went to the Drake concert and the Usher concert and you flew to Vegas, then you flew home and then you with your girls were doing the stat and the other. Do you know what drives man crazy? When women have a life that they're not willing to compromise and the things they're not willing to compromise are bizarrely benign and boring. You know why? Because you'll understand why you forgot seeing him for an Usher concert. But when you tell a man that you're not going to see him on a Wednesday because you like to crochet with your mom and that's what you do,

you think he's going to think you're a loser? No, my friend. He's going to think, oh, my gitty-guiddy-gud. This girl is not going to go out with me because she's going to do something that boring. It's going to step up his competitiveness. It's going to step up his game. You don't have to pretend to be anything you are not. And this woman knows it. She keeps being herself. She puts herself first. And she carries that energy throughout. She does not make apologies. She comes exactly as she is because she knows that she wants him to fall for her as she is because that's what she wants. And the last bonus, I will tell you after these five rules, is that she sets a precedent of what kind of relationship she wants.

It's no joke to share your life with someone and be someone's wife or a lifetime partner. So she chooses, do you want to feel like a goddess in the relationship? Do you want to feel like he's crazy about you? Or do you want to have a more spicy kind of friendship-style relationship where you can take the piss out of each other and have a joke? there's different formats of relationship and she's not willing to compromise she's going to find that type of person which makes her salcing for me i am somebody who wanted somebody to be crazy about me to only see me and even if he's lying about that i want him to pretend that that's the only way so when i found my partner and look nothing is forever nothing's locked in we don't even live forever right

so that's not what i want you to consider i just want you to consider how he makes you feel in that moment. And for me, I wanted to feel like I was that one and he was so sure. So for you, find that thing you want to feel. Find that way you want to feel and let that guide you. I hope that this gave you a guide, these five elementary rules, because like I said, rules are important. There's rules to cooking, there is rules to cleaning and it makes your life more seamless. And being yourself is just not good enough sometimes and I want for you guys to have the type of life you want and if he's not sure then you're not sure and if he's ghosting then you're bored love is to be enjoyed but there are some rules to make you feel safe and to let you know that even if margaretta is wrong in this

podcast and if he ghosts you and then you move on but he was really the man for you then trust me he will come knocking down on that door and he will break down that door to be with you so even if I'm wrong, he will prove that he is the one for you. Trust and believe. Guys, thank you for listening. I would appreciate and love it if you guys subscribed or left five stars or gave a review, all of it makes me create more, do better, think of better subjects. And as always, leave me questions and comments either on my Instagram or my TikTok or anywhere you can reach me YouTube as well. And I'm there and the themes come out of your questions. I don't just get them out of thin air. I get them from you. And,

I love our conversation. So I'll speak to you next week. Ciao.