BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 19: I Am Pregnant! A Personal Episode. Babies, Pregnancy Loss, Family Planning And More.

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

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Welcome to Being Her, the ultimate guide to living your best life as her. Join me, Margarita, on an empowering journey to discover your feminine energy, build meaningful relationships and find your purpose. Let's dive in and explore all things womanhood together. Hello, my wonderful honey kittens. Today, I am going to record an episode which is slightly different, a slight variant, as it were, of our usual format of me giving you five tips, because it's all fair and good about me telling you how to live your life.

But who am I? Who is she? Who is Margarita? I think the best way to start that kind of conversation is kind of to let you into my life. I recently announced on Instagram and on TikTok that I am indeed expecting my next child. And those of you who would have followed me now for a few years would know that my opinions on having children have changed drastically from, not sure I want to have them to I just want to have one to now I want to have two or 500 and I think it's a good enough conversation to have to let you in on that to let you know how I'm feeling it's a very

woman focused conversation that we all kind of cross in our lives because I suppose also in having this conversation and putting myself in the spotlight of it as an example I can address some of the questions that you guys might have on your own feelings about having children and the family dynamic and what it's like to be pregnant and what it's like to work and create a business while you're pregnant. I thought the easiest way to interact about this is to do an Instagram Q&A so that I can be prompted in answering the right things that you guys want to know. Obviously, some of you would not be on Instagram, but I encourage you to jump over there because there you would see the most unfiltered version on my stories. My feed is more so about posting advice and posting the things

that I think you guys would want to see, but my stories is about me and my family, so I'm happy to let you in. I think the best way to start is for me to answer some of the questions. So question number one is, did you have hyper-emesis again? This is clearly from a viewer who has seen me and seen my YouTube channel and has seen what I've been through, girl, because my pregnancies are fun, fun, fun. When I had Leo, that is my son, I had hyper-emesis. Gravedarm. I had it also in two pregnancies prior to Leo, which didn't eventuate in children, obviously, because I have Leo. My first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy, and then I had another pregnancy after that. Both ended at around 14 weeks due to circumstances, which we still don't know.

It could have been due to hypermesis. It could have been due to anything. We had genetic testing done, and there was nothing found, and there was nothing structural found, so it's always been a mystery. So the fact that I had Leo was such a relief because we didn't have the answers and now I'm pregnant again. So if anything, I just feel very fortunate. And to circle back to, I will explain what high premises is by the way, so don't worry. But to circle back about wanting children and not wanting children is before I met my husband and before I made up my mind on views that I have about family, children and the structure as it stands, I was not sure that it was for me.

I come from a single parent household. Guess which parent that was? Yes, the mum. Five points to you for guessing that. And I didn't know what that family structure looked like. I didn't know what that was until I met my husband and something in me changed. And it changed from, I don't know what family is. Forget it.

I don't want to have it. To actually, wait a minute. I think there is something incredible about this. I think there is something magical about children and the ability. to have them. I want to try this. And I think what happened was when we conceived our first pregnancy, it wasn't as much planned as one would have thought, as in we were married and we thought, well, let's see what happens that one time. And when it did happen, we were like, whoa, are we ready for this? We were in Vegas. We were like, okay, it's on, it's happening. We want this anyway. And then when it

didn't eventually in children 14 weeks later, there was something that clicked in my mind where I thought, no, no, the level of sadness that I'm feeling slash disappointment slash discombobulation, I do want this, I want to experience this, I want to try this, I want to try the capacity of what it takes to experience myself in the role of a mother as I appear in this entity of womanhood in my life, that if I am able to do this, I would like to try and do this. What expansion would it give me? What opportunities would it give me? Would it make me feel powerful? Would it make me feel vulnerable? What is Margarita as a parent? And I will tell you right now, the power of femininity amplifies. I will tell you, it's not up to me whether you have children or not, have them, don't have them

speaking from my own point of view. I have never had more success than after having my son. There is something that ignites in you, some kind of lioness energy, where you can move mountains truly. And this is not to say if you want career success, go have a baby, but this is to say that sometimes what is sold to us and what is told to us, I'm just moving my Stanley Cup across, not sponsored by Stanley Cups, but I'm obsessed with finding new drinking utensils, which can make me drink more because being pregnant, my skin feels like the Sahara Desert, which has not been rained on for 500 years. So I don't know what this is. This pregnancy, it's never happened to me before, girl, but this is very, very new. Anyway, the children, the feeling of the blessing of it all, when you see, let me tell you, after I had my son, I thought, that's it, I'll just have one. I'm an only child.

I'll just have one, and that will be it, and this will be my expansion, and this will be my growth. And then I saw the guy grow from one to two to three. Zero to one for me was very hard. I'm not going to say it was a nightmare, but it was very, very hard. Psychologically draining, physically draining, I didn't know where to stand. It was also during COVID. Nobody can come, nobody can go. My mum couldn't visit from England.

It was not the experience that you imagine. There was no taking the stroller out. There was no cafes. There was no cuteness. There was just panic because as much as I probably wouldn't panic at the prospect of COVID as an entity myself, because I'm very pragmatic and logical. When you are in charge of soul protection of this child, whether it be in your stomach or out of it, your brain starts to go wild.

You're like, how do I protect it? What do I do? You feel like that zombie movie where that pregnant chick was running around, walking dead, where the whole time watching it, I had anxiety. Like, oh my God, she's pregnant. She can't run so fast. She can't get away from the zombies. What is happening? That is how I felt.

And it's very, very triggering and very, I don't know, the maternal instincts were everywhere. I am now keen to see what it would be like without that. And listen, still blessed, still feeling amazing about the fact that I got to experience it, but to circle back, now that my son is three and I see a human entity forming in him, not that he didn't have it before, but now my adult eyes can see him for who he is, I am amazed at what I am encountering and seeing. It is truly miraculous and stupendifying in all kinds of ways possible to see this human being become a human being. So I'm like, I want to do it again. I want to try it again. What other combination

of human being can pass through me as in I see myself as a channel that can create them and it's got nothing to do with me when it comes to who they are as in, of course, I can traumatize them or I can give them the best start. I can, but I understand that they're a separate entity to me and it's not of my merit or anything that I do correctly or incorrectly. I mean, except for the dire things, I give all props of individuality to my children. Did I have hyper-emesis again? Hyper-E-M-A-M-S-S-S is often misunderstood as extreme nausea and sickness. It is not, my friend, extreme nausea and sickness.

I have a video on my YouTube channel, which you feel free to check out. Type my name and then type H-G or Hyper-E-M-E-R, no it's not, H-Y, P-E-E-R, like hyper like we're going hyper and then emesis m e i s is i s is hyper emacis gravidorum is not a harry potter spell it is extreme aversion to all food all drinks including water you have to have water through the vein through the vein because you cannot stomach water at all um i was hospitalized you if are not if you are not medicated or if you're not in a first world country where you can be looked after Basically, in the medieval times, people died. They would have kidney failures, all their organs would fail because you are dehydrated and you have no food.

I have no idea why it happens. Nobody has any idea why it happens. It seems to be connected with the gene type that you have. My mom had it. Women normally carry it on. And I used to be very annoyed by it. I would say, why is my body doing this? But now I realize it's probably just overprotective.

Everyone has nausea in the beginning and they try and avoid foods that will set it. off like anything like a poison you, your body tries to avoid. My body's just working too hard, girl. So did I have it again? Yes, I did. And recording this podcast through having hypermesis, which means throwing up 40 times a day, you imagine how it affects the voice. You're always almost being sick. I don't know how I hit it, but I also didn't want to announce the pregnancy. And I guess be you. If you've ever wanted to make a podcast, if you've got something to say, which I think all of you do. Spotify has a platform for you that you can do it really easily on.

All in one place, it's free and you can even earn money. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone or computer, which is what I do. So no matter what your setup is, it's not complicated to start creating today. Then you can distribute it everywhere that podcasts are listened to. Then you can even monetize it. You can do a Q&A section. you can do polls and all these amazing things.

Basically, it was really, really easy for me to do. For me, the obstacle was the tech aspect, and I know a lot of you wanted to hear from me. So Spotify made it possible for me to create this podcast, so I'm really grateful. Download the Spotify for podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com forward slash podcasters to get started. It's useless to you in terms of I'm trying to give you

advice and content that is going to amplify your life. Me telling you I don't feel well does nothing for you unless I've come out of that feelingness of unwellness and I can help you guide you through it. That's why I made the videos on my YouTube channel when I did about how I was feeling and that there is a lie at the end of the tunnel because truly being that sick can be very, very depressing.

But now that I know what the result is, it's much easier to manage because I now know that it's for this incredible entity that will result from the struggle. Second question is, how are you feeling? Are you nervous going from one child to two children? And congratulations, I don't feel nervous because I have a mindset which I have trained into delusion. I'm very practical, very logical in most of the things, but sometimes when I want to get something done and people ask me, how did you know you wanted another child? And I will summarize it like this. I knew that I did not want to miss out on having another one.

As in not that I actively right now needed another child in my life. My life feels so full, so fulfilled. This child of mine, Leo, is everything. My husband is everything to me. My mom and my relationship with her is everything to me. My work is everything to me. It's full. It's overfilling.

It's overflowing. I'm very, very, very fortunate. I'm very, very, very lucky. So I wasn't like, oh my God, there is this gap that I'm. I need to fail. But it was more so if I sit with myself, would I live with myself from, of course I would live with myself, but would I rather regret not having one? Or go for it and it will be hard and I'll have two children to look after and I'll have to try and get help and I will have to try and do everything and still juggle it. I would rather take the hard. And therefore, it's always better to feel

the pain of discipline than the pain of regret for me. in life it's very, very wise to decide which one you'd rather feel. Now, I'm not saying having children's discipline, but it will definitely be some form of discipline because if you've had one, you know, you're waking up every three hours at night. And there is, I'll be damned if I let myself, you know, let go of everything I've built and the joy I have in my life. So I will have to put systems in place. That is what it is about.

It's about stoicism and discipline and knowing that you can do it. So would I rather face the pain of discipline? that means putting systems in place, that means pushing through it, that means doing the thing that I need to do to make my life what it is, or would I rather say now, just have one because you know what he's kind of grown up now, he can, you know, dress himself mildly and he can put on a show he likes and he can, you know, tell me what he wants to eat, and I'm a cerebral person. For me, it was harder to look after a baby who could not talk than it is to look after a toddler that can argue with me. I'd rather argue with you, then not know what you want and I feel flabbergasted. So, for me, I'd rather face the pain of discipline and doing it again than the pain of regret and not having done it. So that is what it came down to. So I don't feel nervous. I just feel like, let's do this. Let's go. Let's have 700 children. Not really. But I am an extremist sometimes. I went from zero to whatever, whatever comes through will come through. If I am, if I have two and I'm like, this is balanced, amazing, great. But also, remember, I'm in my 30s, so I'm under no delusion that I'm going to

have all these children because it makes you tired. It makes you tired. If I was in my 20s, I probably have more, but it does make you tired. And honey, we don't want to live tired, do we? How am I juggling a business? Toddler and pregnancy? Good question. Juggling, juggling, juggling. I was speaking to my editor who edits some of the content on my YouTube and she said, I hope you're taking time for yourself. And I love that sentiment and I love that statement. I love that statement. My editor is in her 20s. And I think that a lot of us are told of that theory of that almost mythology in my mind of taking time for yourself. Have a bubble bath. Have this one. Have a that one. I've had this thought and idea because I once spoke to an astrologer who said

that everyone has different life cycles, right? Everyone has different yearly life cycles depending on where you're born. Now, this was an astrologer who wasn't just like your Star Signs Vergo or Leo and therefore you're spicy or neat. They were more about timings in life. They were a Vedic astrologer. It's very in depth. And it struck me that I think, and it's up to everyone to do their own chart,

but mine moves in seven-year cycles. When I was born until the age of seven, I grew up in Russia. And my lifestyle there was a certain way, and my persona there was a certain way. I didn't even know other countries existed. I was a child. As seven years old, until 14,

moved to London and I become a deeply immigrated experience. Now, zero to seven, my experience was a normal child, normal grandparents fitting in, usual, usual, usual, yes, my parents were divorcing, but it's nothing unusual, nothing crazy. From age of seven to 14, I could not speak the language when I came to England and I had this feeling. I saw it in a movie once with Antonio Vanderas where he is playing a character who gets abducted by Vikings or he, or he's, you know, he is there and he does not understand the language and the movie depicts how he picks it up that suddenly he understands a word, suddenly understands another word and another word. And that was my experience. But my identity shifted to one of an immigrant child with her mother single, trying to make it

work. From 14 to 21, I think that's seven years that I count right. I can't math to do my life. To save my life, even as it were, my identity became of somebody who's pretty British and I went to a school where everyone was very British and my sensibility, sense of humor became quite British and it was very English school experience very much of a certain sort. But I can go into that in a different podcast from 21 to 28. It was my going to uni, studying acting, trying to make it as an actor era, trying to find myself doing this universe. Is beauty going to get me there? Is my acting skills going to get me there? By there, I mean to feeling. good about myself to getting where I want to go. And from 21 to 28, that was that era. And I met my

husband somewhere in there. It was like this formation of who am I? Who am I? Where is my place in the world? What is my placement? As 28 hits, I lose that first pregnancy. And then I have hyperamesis with all the pregnancies. That means it's a lot of sickness and a lot of that. Trying to find my life and deciding that I want to do life coaching, going through some hardships. And it was a seven-ish years of just grappling and trying to find who I am and then suddenly the next seven years starts and I find this new rhythm of progression and progress it was my son was here my business is working I have clarity I know what I'm doing I'm in my feminine energy I don't feel I need to prove myself and all these things start happening it's almost like

a flow, you know, when you're good at something and like, for example, a basketball and you're in flow, you can't explain the flow to someone, but I think it took the preparation of those 21 to 28 of who am I getting married, trying to find my footing, trying to see who I am, and then the struggle of the seven years after, I'm not even sure if it all makes up seven years or if it's a six-year cycle, I'm not sure, but it's basic cycles, and right now is my cycle to make stuff happen. And when my editor asked me, listen, like, are you taking time for yourself? My time for myself is this podcast. Talking to you right now is my time for myself. My time for myself is playing with my son. My time for myself, because this, let's get this right, ladies. I've been aiming for this in my life,

trying to build this character that I am now, this avatar that I am now. So in essence, there is no escapism from what I am because I've built the thing that I want to be. So it's about enjoying the toddler. It's about enjoying the pregnancy despite the nausea and the sickness. It's about saying, yes, here I am. I've arrived in this and this is the time to enjoy it because this is the reality that I've manifested. I've thought about this. I've tried to build this and I have envisioned this and I've done mood boards and here I am and we are on go time and this is exciting. And I think it's not easy. Last night my son was playing with Play-Doh. I had to run into the office in the back of my house and like behind my kitchen, not in the back of my house, but behind my kitchen and quickly

approve a video as he's calling me. I'm running back. He runs it's on my lap. I'm making him dinner. My husband's asking me something. But in that chaos is the beauty. That's where it is. That is where the juice is because I know one day right now I'm looking at flowers that are dead that should be in the bin that my husband gave me, but my husband gave me them and it makes me so happy that he gave me them, but here they are dead and dry. Next to it is this marble station. on the table that my son was playing with, and next to it is notes from the course I wrote. All of these things could be called mess, but all of these things are also symptomatic and emblematic of the life that I have struggled to build. Not struggled, but created and manifested and

grinded to build. And here it is. Here is that beautiful mess. And I think efficiency just depends on how much you want it. That's what I would say, because the question says any efficiency tips. efficiency is if you want to you will do it how far along are you let's check my app the ovia app you know I used to track this so fervently imminently I don't know what the word is but I used to track this to the T when I had Leo and now I'm finding a lot of joy in letting it go you know I'm finding a lot of joy in relying on my wisdom and knowledge and not looking at apps but I am 21 weeks which is five months and a week I or something like that. So basically five months along, four more to go. And then I'm going to have

the champagne because we know I love a champagne, which I cannot have at the moment. Are you feeling excited? I'm excited and I'm also excited to build this whole situation. Let's move on to the gender of this child. Everyone's asking me what the gender is. The gender is a girl. which is very, you know, I sat with myself and I thought, if it's a boy, then I can do it again. I've had a boy before. My husband's a boy. They go off, they do their stuff. I've seen how it works. Boys and their fathers, there's something magical. And as a woman, all you've got to do is love your son. And the father is the one he emulates. This is my belief. And I thought, if it's a girl, that means the pressure is on me. That means I've got to be something remarkable, as it were, or not even remarkable. I've got to be something

of inspiration because the same-sex parent is who that person usually models. Usually, 90% of the time, it's who they model. So the opposite sex parent has just got to love them. A father's got to love his daughter unconditionally, and she will know that she shouldn't settle for anything less from a man. He should love the mother, and then she will see that that is the kind of relationship she wants. And the mother's got to be something that the girl can see and emulate

and see something to be. And I thought, if this is going to be a girl, that means this is the universe saying that I've got to step on my game, I've got to become somebody even more worth emulating, because now this is my child who's going to be looking at me. I feel like with my son, I just have to be this orb of love to give him that affection and love and guidance that he needs.

But with my daughter, I feel I'm going to have to, be someone. Not that I'm not someone already, but this is just how my mind thinks. And yes, it is a girl. I was shocked for three weeks. I have 20 boy names because for me, I don't know, I thought, let me have another one, a friend for Leo, not that a female and a male child cannot be friends together. Of course, they can in sister-brother relationships, but I just thought, okay, two boys, boom, done, they will go and do their thing. And now I'm like, wow, a girl. I see them on playground and I see their level of, I guess, feminine wisdom. Girls have it very young and they can pull you up on things and I feel like this will be

something to make me into a better human being perhaps and that is both nerve-wracking and exciting. A question, what is one lesson that you endlessly teach Leo your son and want badly to stick? You know, I'm going to be honest with you nothing. I think he is my greatest teacher. I think children until the age of five are our greatest teachers and it's our due to to love them. The system that I believe in is zero to five. They are there to create themselves and you are there just as a guide and as a protector and they are there to channel themselves. And

if anything, you are the one learning as a parent. And the analogy I've heard about it in Vedic teachings is they are the king, as in they need love, they need affection, they need food, they need all those things. From five to 14, they are their apprentice. So that's when they learn. That's when they're studious. That is when, they emulate you. You have to work out if you want them to work out. You can't sit there on your stool. By stool, I mean lounger and tell them to work out and it's good for you when you're sitting there like Homer Simpson. And from 14 to adulthood, they are now a friend. When people burst into their children's rooms at the age of 15 saying tied to your room, etc. It is the equivalent of me and you

going to a hotel and I burst into your room because our rooms are adjoining and I say clean your room. This ship is sailed. That person is now formed an entity and if you do not want to treat them as a friend, they will not listen to you. The learning is done. So there is no lesson that I'm endlessly teaching Leo. He's the one who is endlessly teaching me and every time I learn, we move on to our next chapter of understanding. How old were you when you met your husband? I met my husband 10 years ago when I was 24 years old. How are your mood swings in pregnancy? My mood swings in pregnancy are level even copus mentus. I'm a very, very chill guy. In fact, there is something about me that is glad I started this podcast during my, well, I started before my pregnancy, but as my pregnancy started, because

the level of my hormones, for some reason, seems to level out and I become a very logically minded sound human being. I'm a lot more spicy in my life when I'm not pregnant. I don't know if it's the influence in my husband's DNA. I don't know if it's the children being like, mother, calm down.

I don't know what it is, but for sure, I feel calm. I feel like I have to center myself on the calmness of being because it is more important than anything I'm stressed about because of my kids. I want to just be centered and grounded.

that is how I feel. So in fact, my husband probably enjoys it. I also don't drink. If I have two glasses of champagne, I can get sassy, which he doesn't like. In fact, I don't think I can get sassy. I just get funny, but he doesn't always enjoy that. So I think he's having a great time. Was this baby planned? And is your husband generally helpful and hands on with the babies? As much as I've had strife with the pregnancies not working out, I am blessed. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, universe. Thank you, everyone. The fact that when I stop contraception, I am in a healthy space. I can get pregnant. So thank you for that. Knock on wood. Let's continue that way as it means to go. So it wasn't unnecessarily planned, but I stopped contraception at a certain

point and it happened. So if anything, there was a thought in me where I thought, okay, so if I was changing the contraception that I was using and I thought if it happens, it happens, I really didn't think it would because it was a gap of a certain time, but it did. Is your husband generally helpful and hands on with the babies? My husband is very, very, very hands-on as a family man. That is his entity and identity. That is who he is, but he's also very hands-on with the work he does and also the hobbies he does. He's not here every weekend sitting doing stuff, but he's always doing stuff for our family. And as Leo has got older, my husband has become more and more hands-on. I think It's an urban myth and it's a very rare man who can be completely hands on with a newborn.

I think I would struggle to be hands on with a newborn. If, say, me and you were in a relationship as two women and you were the one who had the baby, I would struggle even as a woman who is not breastfeeding as the one who is not connected to the baby because it's not my biological child, I would struggle. So even as a woman, even as in my feminine energy entity, I would not know what to always do. I would obviously go and wash some dishes and help you out, but it is really about the mother who's made that child in the first year. So it was very much heavily me.

I don't like to share tasks. I like to delegate. I woke up all night every night by myself when I had my child. And people often have the rhetoric where they're like, well, make him get up half the time. You do the breastfeeding. He changes the nappy. You give the bottle.

He changes the nappy. I don't like this community living where everyone gets up together. I would rather do the task solely and then in the morning he can take the baby for two hours while I sleep. I don't want to run around together like two zombies in the middle of the night, crashing into one another, trying to, you know, get this baby fed and diaper. It's just too messy for me and so he is hands-on, but I am also. Have you coped with looking after a toddler whilst having hypomesis? Well, going back on the question about my husband, he had to be hands-on in the three months. the first three months is the worst time for hyperamysis until it gets under control with

drugs that you have to take and different measures and IVs. So you'd go to the hospital every three days in order to get IV fluids because you can't drink. And my husband had to be very, very hands-on. He spent almost every weekend with Leo. They would go out and do stuff together because, you know, nobody wants to be with the puking girl. I'm kidding. But honestly, it's a very, very hard condition to have. And anybody who does it without any help, I truly don't know how.

you do it. A question about the weight. Did you lose all of your pregnancy weight before you decided to have another child? I'm very transparent. I've got some videos on weight loss and my keto journey on my YouTube channel. And I can go into that on one of these podcasts if you want. Just leave me a message in the messages in the Apple or the Spotify feed and I will get you on that. But the reality is I was 65 kilos. I don't know how much that is in pounds if you're in America, but translates it. 65 kilos. No, 63 kilos before I got pregnant with Leo.

I got pregnant with him and went up to 80 kilos on the day he was born. When he was born, obviously a lot of that is baby. The guy was five kilos. He was a mammoth. I had a caesarian section. And he, I lost up to, I almost went down to 68 kilos within the first six months to a year. I wouldn't say it was easy, but it was also not extremely difficult, as in it came off very, very slowly. This whole myth about breastfeeding and it all falls off, no girl.

That's not what happens, because when you are lactating, you are like all lactating animals, you're reserving fat in order to get that milk. I don't know this thing about breastfeeding and the weight falls off you. I just don't know that one. I don't know horror. I don't know horror. You probably got to starve yourself and breastfeed because the calories, you know, drain you. from breastfeeding and then if you also don't replenish food but I was eating a lot so after a while I realized I'm eating a lot when he stopped breastfeeding at seven months that's when

I lost the weight then I broke my foot and had to have foot surgery there I went up from 68 kilos to 75 kilos almost it was the weight I've ever gained I think it was due to the drugs and due to the non-movement I could not walk for four months I was in a cast I had a small baby it was probably the hardest time physically of my life Not to mention the high premises before that. Depletion, depletion, depletion, girl, it was very, very hard. I then started walking and I said, forget this. I need a diet that's going to give me all the nutrition I need.

High fat, high fiber, high nutrition, high protein. I went on the keto diet and I went back to 65 kilos. And then I got pregnant again. So over three years, it was like my weight journey was like that. So I went back to maybe two kilos heavier. I was before I got pregnant with Leo. What is change in your routine since you got pregnant? Taking more time to yourself, to rest, et cetera, question mark.

No girl. At the same time as getting pregnant, I've started a secret project, which I will reveal soon. I keep dropping. I keep mentioning it. It's a lot of work. I've decided to launch another course, which I am almost completed. And this course I'm so excited about, if you guys haven't seen my first course, the

feminine energy principles, go check that out on my website. site Margueriteanazarenko.com. It's in the description of this podcast. It's My 20 Principles of Feminine Energy and how it's changed my life and how it can change your life too. The next course I am making is in a response to the fact that a lot of women have found that happily ever after. I say that in quotation marks. I say that in quotes because what is the happily ever after? There is so many books on get the guy, date the guy, catch the guy, but okay, we've caught him, we've dated him. Why am I getting so many DMs from women saying, oh, the passion is gone? He doesn't look at me the same way.

He doesn't do things for me. He doesn't get me gifts. He doesn't see me in that way. I can't get my husband to see me, to notice me, to witness me, all of these things. Why is that happening? And this course is the answer to that. It's my 20 keys now, or secrets to polarity in a relationship and continued attraction and a good and sexy and healthy.

marriage slash relationship if you don't want to get married in my eyes. So that is coming out in August. I'm so excited about that. And if you have not seen the 20 feminine energy principles, go see that first if you want to and then get on board with this one because it's very, very exciting. But to answer that is I've got the secret project. I've created this course, which takes time to write,

to put all the ideas consolidated together, film everything. Update the website. I've got my toddler. I am creating this podcast weekly. I do a weekly YouTube video, and I've got businesses on the side. Okay, so, girl, I have not changed my routine with more time to rest,

because right now we are on it, like a carb on it. How is your first childbirth experience? This is my last question that I'll answer. And someone asked if I'm exercising while pregnant. No, baby girl, I'm not exercising because the depletion I felt with throwing up the hyperamesis. I'm sorry to mention this so many times, but that's not fun.

So I needed all the energy and the hydration that I can get because we don't want to sweat out any of this water because we need the water. Okay, come here, Stanley Cup. Let's have a sip. Not sponsored again, but Stanley, if you want to sponsor me, go ahead. I love your logo. It's a bear with

wings and a crown. Love it. Fabulous. Childbirth experience. I had a very strange and interesting interaction. I barely ever get triggered is the wrong word, but I barely ever have comments that stick in my mind, but I mentioned on my Instagram that I had a C-section. And I had a woman who has followed me for a while, jump into my DMs and say, I'm so surprised with all the feminine energy knowledge you have,

you would choose the easy route over the happiness and the goodness and the prospects of your child in having a cesarean section as opposed to an actual birth, which is better for the baby. I rarely ever get mum shamed because I think people know I'm not the one. I ever rarely get people telling me this, that or the other, because again, I think they know I'm not the one. I don't play with that. You can tell me everything left right or center, but not about the children. And I read that, and I knew one thing.

I thought maybe I've misread it. I don't want to be reactive. So I said, sorry, what did you mean before I answer you? what did you mean? Because I also thought, this is interesting, because if it's happening to me, it must be happening to other women. And if it's happening to other women,

and I've got this podcast, then I need to address it in order to make sense of it, as it were. She said to me, no, no, no offense. I just know that you're such a feminine, wise woman, and the fact that you would put your needs of you before your child. And I sent her a voicemail, and I said, if you're going to give me advice, I'm going to give you some advice.

Be careful who you talk to and how you talk to people. Be careful the advice you give. give. Be careful what you do online because number one, you could offend someone. Number two, you could hurt someone worse off. Number three, you could make them make a decision that they will regret for the rest of their life and that will be on you. Never give a person advice that they have not paid $100 an hour to get. If you're not a therapist, don't give advice. I do never give specific advice to people unless they are my client. I give generic advice here on my platforms. But if somebody comes to me, I'm very, very hesitant to give advice because that is

someone's life. It's very, very serious. So I said, consider that. Number two, you don't know the reasons where people have C-sections and shaming them is a terrible thing to do. And I'm not the one. Do not come for me. The interesting thing I found about that is I didn't want to quantify, or qualify why I had a C-section. The reasons being, I had hyperamysis, so you have very, very little energy to do any pushing. Number two, my child was five kilos, which is almost 10 pounds. and my OBGYN said it's not ideal to be trying, especially when you're that depleted nutritionally and physically, also to be trying to push him out.

But also, I had the two losses prior with unexplained reasons. So for me, when she said, this is what I think really got in my periphery, got me to notice it. When she said choosing a selfish, easy route as opposed to the best thing for your child, no no girlfriend the reality is I wanted to have a C-section to know that it's going to be done I would take the abdominal surgery I would take the scarring I would take the doing it over any type of natural birth idea that I have in my head oxytocin I wanting to hold the baby or doing the natural thing because I want to know that that child is going to be out and safe

and when I spoke to doctors that for me was the safest variant to take so in answering this question, I want to say what I said on my Instagram, and that is my C-section experience was the best thing I've ever done. After going through COVID pregnant, after having the two losses before, and after having a pregnancy with hyperamysis where I was super sick, the best day of my life was when they rolled me into that theater and they gave me the injection and then they did, trust me, C-section recovery is not the easiest thing, but for me it was the easiest thing because it was the most straightforward thing. knew it was in the hands of the surgeon that this baby was coming out and I will recover from any

surgery you give me in order to bring this child into the world. So it was not the easy option, as she said, but it was the safest option for my kid. So don't come for me unless I say ask for you because I think it's a very dangerous thing. And if you're somebody who sits online talking to admit about how they should birth or how they should not birth, me and you cannot be friends. The point being, if you are having a C-section, I want to tell you a positive version of it. It was very calming. It was beautiful. It's nice to know that somebody who's done it many, many times before can do it, and your child is going to be safe in this world, and it's a magical thing. Natural birth is also magical if you want to try it, but I want to give you that positive C-section

story, and that is what I did. So I do not want to tell you what's easy and what's not. What's easy is what's best for you, so you do that. And in the words of Joan of Arc, if you're scared to give birth, she was not talking about birth, but let's translate it that way. I am not a friend I was born to do this. And that is the slogan for everything. I was born to do this. It's fine. It will be fine.

Do not be afraid. Do not be nervous. You will get through anything you can set your mind to and get through. Guys, this was a personal one. Let me know if you like it. Jump into my DMs on Instagram because you are the guides of it. Do you like the five pointers format? Do you like the personal format?

Do you like the mix of both? Check out the principles of the 20 principles of feminine energy. go on my YouTube channel if you want more about hyperamesis and motherhood in general and I've got some mum vlogs on there. It's on a playlist. And thank you so much for listening. If you're still here at 39, 40 minutes, then you're a real one. I really appreciate you. Love you lots like jelly tots and I'll speak to you soon.