BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 20: 13 Beliefs You Need To Shift To MANIFEST The Life & Love You WANT

Episode Date: August 7, 2023

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Welcome to Being Her, the ultimate guide to living your best life as her. Join me, Margarita, on an empowering journey to discover your feminine energy, build meaningful relationships and find your purpose. Let's dive in and explore all things womanhood together. Hello, my wonderful love, my wonderful human being listening to this podcast. What a week. What a week I am launching my new masterclass. I've been working on it like a demon recently.

I don't even know if that's the correct word, but it came, so it's staying. It's been in the works since I made my first masterclass, 20 feminine energy principles. Those principles came as an answer to people's questions about what it means to have feminine energy. Off the back of TikTok, I guess. I launched that my TikTok channel on the 1st of August, 2022, and now we're back in August.

So one year ago, happy birthday to my TikTok channel. And I started to talk about feminine energy and what it means and how I feel about it. And the question was, what does that mean? How do you embody it? So I created that course. And the second course slash masterclass that is coming now, I wrote and created during the six months of talking to women and understanding that there was two that needed to come to fruition, one of which was on dating and finding that person. person that you want to spend time with, and the second would be on the happily ever after. What does it mean? Where are we going? What are we doing? And truly, I think that is the biggest

question for me, and one that many people don't ask. That is why I chose to do that master class first. The dating one will come, I guess, at some point soon. When that materializes, I'm not sure, but today, when you're listening to this podcast, is the 8th of August. It is, as my editor told me, Lionsgate, which means a beautiful, incredible, it's called the Galactic New Year, okay? I was enlightened to this by my editor, and the fact that today, if you want to manifest something is the day, and this is the day the course is launching, and it is going to be with a 20% discount for the first two weeks.

or thereabouts, 20%, I believe, for the first two weeks, because that is what I'm told you do when you launch a masterclass. So that is what I will do. If I am told that we give 20% off for the first two weeks, then that is how we shall action forward. Me, I'm the creator of this. I connect to the creative process, and that is what I do, and I think it will be really helpful.

It is the polarity masterclass. It is 20 things that you need to understand and apply in order to sustain a lasting attraction, in a relationship and a polarity-based healthy relationship. So if that's up your alley, go to www. margueriteanazarenko.com and check that out for the first two weeks is 20% off, then it just goes to the normal price that, and you can buy it. And maybe we'll do a bundle of both courses. Anyway, so I've been working on that, and that has been something.

I've also been mumming, homing, homing, you know, womaning in my life. And I came onto this incredible shock. of understanding that the world is not what I thought it was. I've talked to my friends about this, my whole of two friends, I suppose, but I've talked to my friends about this because I feel like I've been either living under a rock or I've not understood society. One of my pieces of content went viral on Instagram. Now, a lot of my pieces of content go viral on TikTok,

as is the nature of TikTok, things go viral a lot more often. But one piece of content went viral on my Instagram. And what happened was it showed it to you guys. you guys loved it. It showed it to other women. Women loved it. Great, joke. Fantastic. And then it showed it to the Manosphere. And I am genuinely perplexed slash surprised slash, um, my eyes have been opened to the type of dating pool you guys are facing out there. It's a, it's a serious conundrum because I have faith in humanity. I have faith in people. I have faith in individual human intelligence. But I don't have faith in hoard mindset. So when a lot of people get together, they become this ant-like

hoard farm where nothing makes sense. So the piece of content was inspired by a meme I saw, where it says men used to find a way to write letters home for more, and now they can't even reply to a text message. So I was like, that's hilarious. Make it into a video. So I said basically that, and the premise of it was not men and war. It was not all these subjects that, are very deep and in fact very real and in fact coming from my background very real in the moment I wanted to make that message to communicate to women that men will move mountains and this is what I want to say to you right now men will move mountains if they are into you so if you are confused whether he's into you or not then he's not or not enough or maybe the enoughness that he can give is

not enough for you. So like I've said before, if the amount of attention and love you need in a relationship is a pint and all he can do is a shot glass and that is the capacity of his givingness in a relationship, then you will always be thirsty. You will always be like fill my pint because this is not enough for me. And so I made that post in order to say to women, you know, raise your bar, understand if he is not replying to you for days, that means he's just not interested. Women got it, but when the Manosphere got their hands on it, I have not been called a single ugly over the wall. It actually makes me laugh because these things don't affect me. I don't really care about the opinions of strangers.

In fact, actually, this podcast is very good timing for that because one of the ailments that women have is caring about the opinions of others, but we'll go into the 13 points of mindsets that stop you from being happy as a woman soon after I have my little rant to you. But the point being is that I was perplexed by the level of collective male understanding. The thing that perplexed me most is that a lot of men were saying that the reason I'm not getting replies is that, you know, I'm insufferable, ugly and I'll always be single. They had no understanding about the fact that I thought everyone knew this. I thought that when we watch friends on TV, we understand that the actors playing a role. I would never see Rachel from friends on the street and think that that's Rachel as opposed to Jennifer Aniston. these men could not wrap their heads around the fact that I was not talking about my life.

Even when I saw these messages coming in in tens of thousands in the day, or maybe just thousands, not tens of thousands, but thousands during a day, I looked at them and I said, guys, I'm actually married. This is not biographical content. This is just, you know, social commentary for women who are dating to encourage them to choose men who are into them. Yeah, right. Yeah, right. You're married as if who'd marry you? And I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, oh my God, they actually believe that I did not get a reply from some guy. And I made a...

If you've ever wanted to make a podcast, if you've got something to say, which I think all of you do, Spotify has a platform for you that you can do it really easily on. All in one place, it's free and you can even earn money. Spotify for podcasters lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone. or computer, which is what I do. So no matter what your setup is, it's not complicated to start creating today. Then you can distribute it everywhere that podcasts are listened to. Then you can even monetize it. You can do a Q&A section. You can do polls and all these amazing things. Basically, it was really, really easy for me to do. For me, the obstacle was the tech aspect. And I know a lot of

you wanted to hear from me. So Spotify made it possible for me to create this podcast. So I'm really grateful. Download the Spotify for podcasters app or go to www.spotify.com forward slash podcasters to get started. Video real saying how many used to reply from war and they can't. And the level of collective intelligence is just, is just perplexing. So number one, I'm shocked. Number two, I feel deeply sympathetic for women out in the dating market right now because if people, if men out here think that people post their biology in real life online, it is absolutely amazing. Let us roll onto the podcast because, look, we can talk about this till the cows come home,

about how dire it is. But in other news, my grandma passed this morning or last night. And so I want to dedicate this podcast to her because this is mindsets that keep women back. And she is a woman who raised me during each summer. of me growing up until I was eight years old and I moved to England. So I just want to say, I love you and thank you for everything you did to my grandma. And then let's move on to the juicy details of the mindsets that are holding you back in life. What brought up the idea for this podcast is the concept that female and male brains are intrinsically different.

There are similarities, but there are biological differences. and it's been cited in a couple of psychological studies, the main difference in a male and female brain is the connectivity for women between their left and right brain. We can go back and forth quite fast, whilst men are more focused. Hence, when they say women can multitask, if you're talking to a man, only talk to him when he's not doing something else. All of those old adages come from there.

But there are some ideas that stick in women's heads, which actually hold us back. And if we took more of an approach of, I suppose not of a mass, but to understand that these ideas in our head are societal ideas or they are because of the wiring of our brain and we can actually push through them via psychology psychiatry therapy journaling is my favorite I for some reason I've not been a person who goes to a lot of therapy I just don't connect to it often and I don't look this might sound very strange but I never felt I needed it I never came to a place where I was stuck but if I was I would definitely be in that therapy

office tomorrow. The point being that if any of these 13 things come up for you, there is a workaround to it and you need to understand that if you have taken these ideas as your own and you have inherited them and put them into your life, whether it be ancestral, whether it be societal or whether it be biological, I need you to know that these things might just be the reason that you are not healing, not connecting, not happy, even if you might be living a happy life on the outside. Now, a lot of things that psychiatrists notice that women believe is that they do not merit their looks or their intelligence as much as men. They're more critical of themselves. They cannot forget mistakes they've made in the past. They celebrate their success

less than the ideas that didn't work out impact them. So when there's a failure that impacts them a lot more than when they've had a success and they feel they need to make others happy. Those are the main differences between the men and women. So men will be the opposite of that. Now, I'm not telling you to be masculine now because, you know, my whole crusade is about the fact that there, it's time for femininity to take place in women's lives in general. And that will set us free. But a lot of the ideas of the 13 that we're about to discuss is actually us taking in a lot of masculine roles and it really depleting us. Okay.

So if we go into number one, idea number one that is not going to help you get the love you want or get the peace you want or anything is if I take care of him, he will take care of me and care about me. I think the second part of that is the most important, the part we must underline. I say holding a pen. And that is if I care about him, he will care about me in return. Now, that's dangerous because that is part of feeling. email manipulation, that is where we go slightly astray. We believe that if he sees the amount of energy, time and effort I put in him, he will have to, have to care about us in return. And the reality is just it does not work that way. You need to assess how he feels about you outside of what

you've done for him. Now, if you're about to retort that, that, oh, what, am I not supposed to do anything for him? Am I not supposed to love him? Am I not supposed to care about him? No. Of course you're supposed to care about him. I care about my husband more than any living thing on this earth apart from my son. But I would say that if you keep putting effort into him and treating him like a husband and a boyfriend, when he hasn't even made up his mind about you, you are not accumulating merits and you're not accumulating tickets and points in order for then him to reciprocate to you. That is not how it works. And that is a big downfall and a big mindset floor. Number next, number two, people need to think of me as generally good. They have to

approve of me. It's a really, really, really hard mindset to get through. They need to approve of my actions and ideas. I still struggle with this one. I struggle with it my whole life. It's like a guilt complex, but the idea that women need to be generally seen as good. This can be best described as the whole idea of, you know, those memes you see online where if she's disheveled after she's become a mom, it's like, oh, she's too disheveled. She feels bad. She starts looking out herself. Oh, she doesn't spend enough time with her kids. Oh, she spends too much time making their lunches. Oh, she doesn't care what they eat for lunch. This maniacal female need to appear good to the societal judgment board, this judge that is out there deciding if they're good or bad

isn't normally suffered by men. Men can give themselves their own esteem, which is why I often say self-esteem is a very, very difficult thing for women. We get our esteem a lot from our surroundings and those around us whilst men can go, yep, I did a good job today, I worked, I did this, I did that, I'm a good guy, I've deserved it, let me have a be a very big generalization, but you get the drift. With us, we need to know that we are generally good. I struggle it in terms of with my family, like if I, for example, have said, I can't pick up something for my husband, and he's like, yeah, that's fine. He doesn't care. I then think, oh my God, I'm not good. I'm not doing a good job. I must action it quicker. This just doesn't apply to him. You know, if I can't call my mum back, if I feel I'm not seen as good in the societal awareness, I really struggle. I, however, don't feel this in a peer pressure format. I often say I'm peer pressure proof. Peer pressure proof. I need to paint. that peer pressure proof and sell it as a bottle of elixir or something but i i generally don't care if people see me as good or bad or whatever going back to these men who are um the menosphere who's

attacking me online at the moment i don't really care if they think i'm ugly single i just doesn't at all bother me like i cannot explain how much it doesn't bother you um pardon me me but i will say this if you feel the need to always generally be good in the eyes of others you cannot follow your mission, your goals, your needs and your feminine wisdom, because this is not a call to action to be a bad person, but this is a call to action for you to understand that you cannot possibly know what is overall good in this world or good for everyone. You cannot be good and all things to everybody. So this idea is going to hold you back. The next one, number three, if people ask me, I have to help them. I shouldn't say no. The fear of saying no is such a pivotal and big.

and mind-boggling thing in the female world. If I say no, I then have to sit with myself and give myself a paper talk of why I was okay to say no, why I was qualified and quantified to say no, why, and it's just like really not an issue that should be going through your mind. I say this often, and I say this in my new masterclass, that if you are scooping from the well of nothingness and you being the feminine and the female in your relationships are the the oracle of energy. So if you're scooping from nothingness, then you need to know you've got nothing else to give. And men are good at kind of knowing how much energy to give. Women are not. Women are often told, like, you're overworked, you've done this too much, da-da, et cetera,

et cetera, but we don't seem to understand that if we work ourselves to the bone and we just don't say no, and if someone asks us for help, we've got to give it. Not that we should become this selfish entity who helps no one ever, ever, but we certainly should understand that you don't have to be at everyone's beck and call. That is not your service and that is not your duty and you will help more people if you are able to say no sometimes. Next is I need to empathize no matter what. That's number four. Empathy is so idolized and appreciated in the female community that we have been brought up to understand that anything can be empathized with. But sometimes, and this is very true, if something's not good enough for you or not worthy of your time,

or your being, you don't have to empathise with everything and everyone. Not everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. Not everybody can be excused for everything. And I keep hearing messages and DMs from you where someone's treated you atrociously. Atrociously. You cannot even understand or begin to fathom how some of these men treat women that I am talking to and have encountered in my practice

or in what I've been doing. And there is always an excuse. there is always an empathy yeah but his granddad was mean to him when he was young i understand but that is not the prerogative see even me i just got i understand and what got triggered in my mind right now is oh no everyone who's ever been cruelly treated by their granddad's going to get upset but the reality is you cannot save the world by by being around people who will use those things against you and find ways to get into your races by saying they somehow got mistreated in their life that is going to weigh you down. You need to sometimes put blocks and boundaries to people like that

and just not have them access your life. Number five, I have to always be thankful. I have a debt to people and all gestures and gifts have to be repaid. This is my favorite one. I should have made it number seven or number eight since we're on the eighth and it is the Lionsgate, but I have to always be thankful for everything and everything is a debt. Now gratitude is different to feeling a debt to everything and every gesture or a gift must be returned and repaid. The amount of women in my DMs and talking to me saying yes, but if he buys me a coffee or a croissant, what type of blowjob should I give him? Literally. I don't know where you understood this from, that if somebody gives you a kind gesture, you are immediately indebted. Someone's gesture towards you of a kind word or a

gift is that person's good karma and their choice to do that for you. If they are doing something in order to get something from you, then they do not deserve to get anything back from you anyway. That is the calmic rule. You do understand that, right? That if somebody gives you a gift and you don't feel comfortable accepting it, say he comes to your house and he's got lupitons and he's like, I saw your size online somehow and I want to give you lupitons. If you don't feel comfortable accepting that in good faith, say, I'm so sorry, I can't accept this. I feel. I feel. I can't accept this. feel like I'll owe you something in return. At that point he will say, no, you don't owe me anything. And then you take those shoes and you keep it stepping and you be happy with yourself.

You do not owe anyone anything. Your existence does not have to be validated by the fact that he bought you a coffee and now you are going to render his house. I don't understand why we think somebody doing a kindness to you is an energetic exchange. All you have to give, any human being has to give for somebody doing something kind for them is their happiness and joy. I add, with your lack of understanding that mating rituals, as far as they span from humans to animals, comprise of the fact that the one who is seducing, usually the male, or in my eyes it should be, brings the woman food. For example, in the animal kingdom, it happens. It happens with humans true, and he is like, look, I've made a meal or I've caught this thing. And he wants to see your joy

and appreciation. That is the ritual. But if you're there trying to thank him back. pay for half of it, give him something back. It becomes this friendship and everyone falls into a friendship zone and no one can ever feel appreciated. Men are raving online. We don't feel appreciated. Women aren't what they used to be. How do you know what women used to be, first of all, Clive?

You have no idea. But second of all, you're just fantasizing about life that used to be, oh, back in our day, stop it. Live in the moment. Disgraceful human. The point being is that you, by not accepting a gift gracefully and graciously, are ruining the whole interaction. You're making it into an exchange.

An exchange is not romantic, and an exchange is not what we're doing here. Even with a friend, if a friend offers you, I want to get this, be graceful and gracious and say, thank you so much, and stop ruining the calmic flow. Number six, I must not offend others with my rejection.

You can be kind when rejecting somebody. You don't have to be mean, but the amount of messages I get for women that prove this point that psychiatrists are found to be, be true. When women say, I really don't like this guy, he's really not my type. How do I let him down? What do you mean? How do I let him down? How you let down anybody? How you say to a colleague, if he is not for you and you are not feeling a connection, all you owe is kindness to another human

being, as in there another human being. You should not insult them. You should not be unkind, like everyone is on social media these days, but just be a kind and decent human being. But you, the idea that I must not offend anyone by rejection keeps you in these half-hour relationships where men actually end up feeling used. You do not need, if you do not feel a vibe with him, to string him along because you feel now that he's bought your couple cups of coffee, which goes back to number five, because now you owe him something. If it's not in your heart, if it's not in you, it's okay. If anything, people need to be of the male gender, more robust to saying, no, thank you. And the more they do it, the more they practice wooing women,

they might hear a note, they might hear a yes, they will become robust enough to one day when they come to their wife and their wife says yes, it's a beautiful thing and it's an amazing thing. Female rejection is really hard for men. It's been said time and time again. Jordan Peterson talks about it that as a woman, we will never understand what that rejection feels like because it's much more symptomatic of biology as a whole saying

you as a male should not reproduce and I'm rejecting you right now. But the reality is, as Peterson himself says, if 25 women have rejected you and you're a male, probably the issues with you. It's not that all women are wrong. It's the fact that biology as it stands has said that there's something going on here that those women are reading and as you not being reproductively on par. And that is tough. There is many tough things that women have to face too, including childbirth, menopause, weight gain,

I'm pregnant at the moment. You think I feel very sexy, cute and bushy-tailed? I mean, I don't feel so bad yet because I'm sorry. second trimester but I know I know once that baby comes I will have jelly for a bit for for a stomach and I will be walking next to my husband out of that hospital overjoyed about the baby but at the same time I will be there going oh my god he looks like he used to look and I look like a blob and I won't be judging myself and all all power to me because I will be a goddess who made a human life but the reality is

everyone has their deficits and not to name the fact that we always keep hearing that women only are of any importance in their early 20s. And then that's it, which is just a chasm I don't want to fall down. But aging as a woman isn't ideal too. So when you're rejecting a man, do it kindly. Do it with the best intention, but you don't owe anyone your life. So it's fine. We all have hardships that we must get through.

Number seven is I have to complete tasks well and fast. I think this is part of the good girl syndrome that I often talk about. and that is we've been trained that in order to be lovable and loved, we have to do things quickly. We have to do them with assurance. We have to do them well. And if you ever admit that you're incapable of doing something, this used to be a very masculine trait, and I believe this is us taking on masculine roles as women, is if I say I can't lift that or I can't do that, or for example, I often say that I can't do stuff I don't want to do because I'd rather delegate it.

Number one, my business grew exponentially when I started to delegate because I don't want to to create my websites and I don't want to do my accounting and I don't want to do things like that so now I pay people to do it but then I therefore also make more money and I say to my husband I can't do that I don't want to do that I don't I am not going to take the bin out well it always leaks something always happens and I don't want to be competent and I don't want to practice but we've been made to think that if we complete tasks competently and well then we will be received better by the world we will be a good girl everyone will say how pleasant and good we are to be around and everyone will give us a pat on the shoulder and we'll all go home, kumbaya.

But in reality, the more you can delegate, like the Queen B has the workers working. Essentially, that is the motto, the more you will get in life. You need to understand what you're good at and you need to understand what you're not good at. And me, I can do things fast and well, but sometimes it's just not the time to do that. Number eight, and the one I think that causes the biggest pain point for a lot of people is I have to control. There's this adage and a long-term belief that the only way that you can feel safe

is to control things. But the sad truth about that is you cannot control another person. I come across women often living from an anxious attachment style where they do believe that they have to control their reality around them. And I don't mean control with their mind.

I don't mean only let ideas in that serve you and I don't mean out, put boundaries out to things. that don't, but I mean they feel that, for example, if they monitor where their husband goes, or they check up their kids' things, or they do this, that, or the other thing, they will then have control over their lives. The reality is, is you have to have trust in the people that you've chosen, the husband being the main one. In that instance, you cannot control a grown man to do the right thing or the wrong thing. People often feel very uncomfortable and insecure in

the fact that I say, don't check your partner's phone, and I say, that if you want to find something, you'll find it, and they say, oh, so what, what are you saying? That it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, like a manifestation. What is it? What is it? It's not a self-fulfilling prophecy or a manifestation, but the reality is, if you have a level of distrust already, you will find something to be angry about. Maybe he wrote, thanks, see you soon to a work colleague, or maybe he was looking at something you're going to disapprove of, or maybe even if there's nothing there, you're going to see into it something that wasn't there. But what is your hope? What is your hope that you can have your eyes and

control over everything what he does on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, in order for you to feel safe. The feeling of safety is never going to come and you've got to understand that that is part of being anxiously attached. I've got a lot of videos on anxious attachment in my YouTube content so you can go in the description box and check those out and a lot of books on my Amazon list. So again, go and check those out. But the idea of feeling that you can control someone else is a default into which a lot of women fall and that is not the way to have peace in your life. Number nine is I shouldn't be alone. And there is a movement about we don't need no man.

I can be alone. I'd rather be alone. Often my content is replied to by women saying, well, if I have to do all this work to be with a man, then I'd rather be alone. Good, good for you. But I know that that is not a reality of how you authentically think and feel because I can tell a tone of pain even through the wording of how you wrote that to me on social media. If you truly believe that you can be alone, and this is what I mean by number nine, that you shouldn't be alone, that this idea that somehow you always have to surround yourself with friends or people or things to do, that is what I mean by it.

I don't mean that you shouldn't feel that you need a life partner. I feel that people thrive with a life partner in their life. That's how I feel, I believe we're a community mammal, and that is what happens, and people really decline and they feel super sad, and there's many experiments done in a Romanian orphan. where children really suffer when they don't have human connection and old people decline when they don't have human connection and it's just a fact that we need human connection. You cannot sway me on it. So I'm not going to say, girl, you can be alone. Yass queen is just BS and I'm not going to feed that to you on this platform because I am genuine and authentic in what I say. And so I mean it more in the way that women have a belief I shouldn't be alone in terms of

I need to fill my life with random people who approve of me. On a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I need to see Elizabeth, Jane, and Francesca, just because it fulfills me somehow and post it on my Instagram and look busy. No, there is times for downtime. There is times when you're not going to be around a lot of people. There is times for introversion, introspection, and understanding that a lot of people doesn't make a full life. It just makes you exhausted.

Number 10 is I need to be better than others. It's a huge female competitive drive to be better than others because I basically, it must be biological because if you have females who are better than you, then they will be chosen to be protected by men and looked after and all these deep-seated biological things. And if you're not the best, you won't be chosen, yada, yad-a-a-a-cetera, et cetera, et cetera. But the floor in this concept is there is no the best. There is no the best. That is why, when the men come from me and tell me I'm ugly, et cetera, et cetera, even if they meant it, even if I went into Chad's living room and he genuinely said, no, no, your face is ugly to me. The operative word is to me.

I have never operated from a place of being the best for everybody, being the most attractive for everybody. Why? That's not possible. Can you imagine you're attractive to everybody and you are amazing to everybody and everybody likes your personality? That is a very, very almost scary concept because if you stand for nothing, then you will fall for everything. You've got to be a person of character, people whose faces have character and lives in them, are not going to be liked by everyone. And the reality is, if you feel that you need to be better than others, and maybe it's not in looks, but you've decided it's going to be in your merits or in your goodness or being a mom, I will tell you this. I don't meet many of these types of women, but I have on my journey

of motherhood for the last three years met some competitive moms who try and beat me in mothering. And the reality is, I'm not even playing that game. I'm not even trying to compete. I have no qualms in understanding that I am not the best mum in the world. But I know one thing, Leo would choose me for a mum over anyone any day, but that is just through the sheer knowledge that I am his mother, children choose their mother, even when their mother is really, really subpar, children love their mother. And that is what happened. It's that connection, it's that tie, it's that magic that we share, right? So when these women try and compete with me about how they did their sandwiches and how they do things at the right time, I'm not even playing

that competition because there is no better than me, you know, there is no worse than me. There is no such thing. The concept isn't real. And if you buy in it and believe in it, it will come to your demise. Number 11 is, if I work along and hard, I will deserve more in life. And look, this is such a big paradigm to break. And I believe it is point number four or principal secret number four or five in my master class. I really delve into it on there.

but this I'm going to take in another way because when I say working long and hard won't bring the love that you deserve in your life. Pardon me, I threw my pen. In the masterclass, it's more in terms of your relationship. So we'll leave the relationship part there. But let's talk about it in this podcast in terms of the fact that culturally we've been told again and again, if you work hard, if you work hard, if you work your ass off, if you do that thing, then you will gain rewards.

And look, I'm not going to lie. I work hard. I'm somebody who works hard, but I also call myself lazy. If you talk to my best friend from childhood, I always call myself lazy. And I think that is because I am not like a marathon runner. I am like a sprinter or a lion where they can do impactful big things fast and then they just lie there in rest. I don't have those lie there in rest periods anymore because I have a child, but even when I bring him home, I will chill on the sofa with him or I will have those downtimes because I cannot be productive 24-7. In my human design chart, I don't know if you follow that, but look up human design. It's probably one of the most fascinating human personality systems I've ever

seen. I am a projector, which is somebody who can only apparently work four hours a day, which I agree with. Bring on the four-hour a day week. Sorry, four-hour work a day. I love that for me. but honestly I make very dynamic, very productive strides in those four hours and then my brain fries. Hence why I own my own business as opposed to working for somebody else because that wouldn't really work for me and it never has. I have too many ideas and too little patience and too a little time in order to create that for somebody else. But anyway, each to their own. But I will say coming from the feminine energy, if I work long and hard, I will deserve more in life is simply not true because

Now listen to this. You deserve more in life and you deserve the best in life just because you are you and you are a human being. And you are an energy centre which deserves good things. Not because you've deserved it, not because you've earned it and not because you've worked hard. But just because you are you. I will even say that sometimes this leads to heartbreak because people work so hard. They try and prove themselves in life. They will try and do the best for people in their life only to have the outcome that the people didn't even want the hard work.

They didn't want all these things you put into them. And there you are feeling heartbroken about it. But number 12, I will tolerate the now to get to the future and ignore my feelings and needs. I made a YouTube video, the last one on my channel. If you want to delve more into this, I keep sending you to all these different places. Finish listening to this first and then go to all these different places. But on my YouTube channel, I made a video saying the moment is now and that is your reality. And don't try and escape it.

essentially something like that, but it resonated with a lot of people, so it's a video I'm proud of. And the feminine mindset is that I will tolerate the pain and the discomfort of now without adjusting anything and making shifts because the future is the goal and I'll ignore my needs now. But the reality is, is that the future is the goal. My whole premise of what I am and what I do, when people say to me something, something about cheating, I say I'd never cheat, not because I'm a genuine good. holy person, but because I'm too goal focused. Number one also, I don't really fancy men. I don't really, I'm such a, I'm so attracted to the future purpose and the goals and my husband, because

we're building this together that when I see men, no matter how attractive they are, I'm like, well, you're not on my life journey with me, so you're irrelevant, but that's beside the point. I'm, I think I'm one of those people who's attracted to mindsets, right? And amongst other things, but that's the main thing. But the reality is, for me, I am future focused. But in order to find joy in your life, you have to be in the moment. If you've got young children and you are a mother, you will know exactly what I'm talking about because you're waiting for them to be one. You're waiting for them to sleep through the night.

Then you're waiting for them not to be a toddler. Then you're waiting for them to talk. Then you're waiting for you're speeding ahead. And then one day, all those messy toys and all that junk in your house is not going to be there. And you will be alone. And thinking about my grandma who passed today in that moment, I am sure she wasn't thinking, oh, God, kids are so annoying. I wish they would just leave

because when she was raising them she was definitely of the mind frame of I've got to work, get out of my hair, very stoic, very Soviet upbringing. But that is not what makes life and often in those accounts where people regret of things that they didn't do or did, it's the people you didn't spend time with.

So not living in the now is, to the sacrifice of your future is a big one. Lastly, number 13. Being sad and sick is beneficial. Juicy one. A lot of times we do not ask for what we need. We do not do what we want. We are not our own advocate, as we would be, let's say, for our children.

And so it comes out for women in fatigue, sickness and tiredness. And it's a very subconscious thought. You don't think about it. but when you feel sick or when you feel tired or when you feel depleted, it is beneficial for you because you're giving yourself permission or when you're sad or depressed in order to take a break. And it should not get to that. You should not push yourself to the level of sickness or sadness

in order to ask for help or a break or to delegate. You should be able to ask for that when you're in your full flourish, when you're in the full swing of things, when you are in your stride. That is when you should be asking for help and for support because you don't want to get depleted, like I said. I hope those 13 mindset points were a shift for you. I know they are for me. I think about these things often.

And I know one thing that if you want to shift these mindsets, you need to empower yourself. Do so. Do it yourself. Think about them, meditate on them, journal on them. Think about the opposite. of it or therapy is the way for you to go. I really advocate for that. So guys, thank you for listening to this one. Again, everything's on YouTube, Amazon list for books, and the masterclass is out today. It's 20% off for two weeks. It's the Polarity Masterclass on www.margreetanazarenko.com.

I value your time. I value your ear. Thank you so much for being here and listening to me. And this podcast is for my grandma. Love you lots. Speak soon.