BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 23: 8 Secrets Of Women Who Are Cherished & NEVER Get Taken For Granted

Episode Date: August 28, 2023

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Welcome to Being Her, the ultimate guide to living your best life as her. Join me, Margarita, on an empowering journey to discover your feminine energy, build meaningful relationships and find your purpose. Let's dive in and explore all things womanhood together. Hello, my gorgeous human. On this episode, I want to talk to you about why, and you know it, you've seen it. We've been there before. You're looking at this girl in a relationship, and she is.

cherished, her opinions are valued, she is not transgressed constantly, disrespectfully, how we see others happen to. It just, some women have this thing where they can manifest a type of relationships towards them that they want in life and some women don't. And it's not to do with looks, it's not to do with how they position themselves, it's not to do with any of that. And we sit there gobsmacked, not understanding what is the difference? Why is woman A cherished and woman B not?

because it is not weight, it is not height, it is not age, it is not race, it is none of those things. It's an internal process, which I'm going to discuss in this episode, that I believe that it is, and I've seen it time and time again. There's a clear difference between the two women, and I'm just going to jump into it so that you don't have to sit here and listen to me and introduce what the differences are. I'm going to say that the first and foremost thing that these women have is values. And values is a really, really hard thing to discuss in today's day and age and society because it's very, it's almost like a concept as opposed to a real tangible idea. Because if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. And if you fall for anything, you will have no boundaries as to what you accept in your life and what you expect from people.

So women who have high values and a value system as in what they want in their life, it can be minuscule, it can be major, it can be something like, let's use. a lifestyle is an example. If your values are to live off the land in the countryside and grow your own vegetables, you will not live with a guy who suddenly wants to live in the city and he's a stockbroker just because he's got some money. You will only settle for that which you want in your life. You will not go for any Tom Dick and Harry. There they come again. Tom Dick and Harry just because they show up. And a lack of values is a dangerous thing to have because if you don't know who you are and if you don't know what kind of life you are wanting to create you will fall for anyone who comes along and promises you anything. A woman who's got high value system is going to

attract that guy who also has that value system and is willing to provide that for her. Let's use that country girl who's growing her on fruit and vegetables. She's fabulous as an example. By the way, those aren't my values. She is an imaginary being. Let's name her Beatrice. The guy that will fall by the wayside is that stockbroker guy, is the guy who doesn't care about the environment is the guy who doesn't want the slow life. And she won't care about it because that guy will not have suited her anyway. She doesn't want to grow old with that guy. She doesn't want to have children with that guy because at the end of the day, what are we doing? If we're not having fun, we are trying to grow a life with someone. And when we're trying to grow a life,

a lot of us will want to have children with that person. Which messages are we going to instill in those children? Because the mother and the father are the ones that instill the messages. You have to be thinking about it in a big picture terms. So Beatrice, is going to attract Frank, who also has those values. And when she stands up for something, he will be afraid to lose her because he's finally found that girl. He's finally found Beatrice. He was looking for that Beatrice.

So when she's like, Frank, could you not get drunk every Saturday? He'll be like, damn, I better not do that. I don't know why he would do that. But let's just say he is and he's never realized it as a problem. Suddenly, he doesn't want to lose her because she's valuable to him. She's got values that she stands. for there is no other Beatrice. And when people bend themselves to fit into other people's lives because they don't have boundaries and values, they become disposable. A person who's got no values,

let's say you love to bake apple pie because your mom always made it for you and you make the best apple pie. But you don't have values, you will kind of go for anything in life and you just want to fit in the picture. And a guy comes along and he's like, I like blueberry pie. And you make a mediocre one. It's not the best blueberry pie. It's okay, but you make a really good apple one. You haven't shown him your best foot forward. You haven't shown him the world that he can enter. You haven't shown him your best characteristics.

You've shown him a mediocre version of you because you've just tried to fit in for him. You see? So you become disposable. The second thing that women who are cherished do is they first, oh, this is a hard one. know how to love themselves before they can get love and respect. And listen, it's a really difficult thing to swallow, but I've got a practical solution for it, if you will. Because I love myself, self-worth, I am in love...

It's just such a hard thing to grasp for many. For some, it's very easy. It comes very naturally. You love yourself, good. Here's a gold star. Fantastic. Some people don't know how to grasp that. They haven't had a childhood where it's been taught to them.

They are missing a parental guidance. Something's happened. it's hard. But I'll put it this way and how it helps me. When I think of somebody I love, I think of my son, my husband, pets I've had, my mom, etc. You can love people in different capacities. You don't have to be in love to love someone. And I think how do I show love to them? And that is by, for example, doing what it is that is best for them. There is many, many studies and research that comes up. I think Jordan Peterson talked about it in his book, but that people give their dog the medication that the dog requires way more than they would for themselves. People miss out their own

medication. They forget their diabetes medication. They forget this, that, the other one. They forget their appointments, but their dog appointments they make. Why? Because we are sometimes programmed to know how to do for others, what we don't know how to do for ourselves. And instead of just saying here, oh, just love yourself, love yourself, and you'll be loved, which is a fact, but it's not a practical solution to somebody who does not know what it feels like. I would say take everything that you've done for other people and flip it and do it for yourself because that is how you show love. If you don't know how to show yourself love, people don't know how to give you love. And the women that are cherished show themselves love. And the people who are there imitate that and show them

love in return. A lot of women who are the workhorse or the cow, I talk about that in my course, about polarity and about relationships and how to have the power and how to manifest a really good long-lasting attraction. You can check it out in the description box or on www.margarita Nazarenko.com. So have a look there. It's really useful. But basically, women who run themselves into the ground or work in order to prove themselves worthy are often doing so because they don't know how to make the person in their life

cherish them and love them. And the way to do it is literally lead by example, like you would with a child. It's very, very simple. A lot of women will love themselves in a way like they will watch their favorite show and eat chocolate and have a glass of wine. Those aren't healthy habits. I mean, the show is fine, but the rest aren't healthy habits, right? So that's not necessarily amplifying your feminine energy and your goddess power. Look, I love a glass of wine.

So let's not digress from that. I haven't had one in six months being pregnant, but we move. Don't worry. The champagne will be there in the delivery. room. Actually, I don't even know if people do that. I always see memes about that, but I don't know, I don't even know if that's doable. Can you do it? If you've ever wanted to make a podcast, if you've got something to say, which I think all of you do, Spotify has a platform for you that you can do it really easily on all in one place. It's free and you can even earn money. Spotify for podcasters

lets you record and edit podcasts right from your phone or computer, which is what I do. So no matter what your setup is, it's not complicated to start creating today. Then you can distribute it everywhere that podcasts are listened to. Then you can even monetize it. You can do a Q&A section. You can do polls and all these amazing things. Basically, it was really, really easy for me to do. For me, the obstacle was the tech aspect. And I know a lot of you wanted to hear from me. So Spotify made it possible for me to create this podcast. So I'm really grateful. Download the Spotify for podcasters app or go to www. Spotify.com forward slash podcasters to get started. Can you take champagne to a delivery room? Anyway, let's come back. Come back, Marguerite. So what are we talking about? We're talking about the fact

that some habits are not exactly the best, but they will still get you love. When somebody sees you putting yourself first as the feminine, as the feminine energy, the masculine will envelop you. you in love also. They will not envelop you in love by you doing things for them, by you serving them constantly and then being this rabid, angry rat in the corner because you feel not loved because you haven't loved yourself. You have to set the example. You have to do it first. It's really, really hard, especially after you have children, but you have to do it. A healthier habit as opposed to chocolate and TV would be, have you bought yourself vitamins? Have you put yourself first? Have you bought yourself that shampoo that you need?

Have you done all those things? Have you looked after yourself and your body like it is that of someone you love? Because you know if your dog needed that dandruff shampoo, you'd be in that dog shop right now. I clearly don't have dogs because I said dog shop. But you know what I mean? People cannot love you. The universe cannot serve you what you do not serve yourself. If you do not lay out a blueprint and a format of the fact that you are cared for by yourself,

and that you are special to yourself, people cannot cherish you. Number three, energy and feminine energy in thought is a real thing, a manifesting thought. I always say for you to be cherished and loved and manifest good things in your life as a woman, you need to direct the light of focus on yourself. Your mind is very, very powerful. If you find yourself in your current relationship or life, thinking about the man all the time, what's he thinking, what's he doing? what would he like?

You are directing that manifesting energy towards him being the center of your life and attention and he can 100% feel that. I don't care how you swing that cat that is the truth and that is the reality. Every woman who is cherished and adored directs that life force and energy towards herself first until she is fulfilled

and then he will come second. Of course, if you've got children, you direct that energy towards them as well. But you, when you wake up, should be thinking what is on my trajectory? What have I got to fulfill? Have I done that face mask? And I know I'm using examples which are trivial. But okay, have I done the study for the work that I need to do? Have I called my mum? It needs to be things that will propel you into your ideal future, into that manifestation of the woman you want to be. If your first thoughts are, is he angry at me? Did he look at me wrong? What's he doing today? I hope he's thinking about me. Why didn't he reply to me with an emoji? And every time he usually texts me, there's an emoji and now it's no emoji. then you are directing the light of focus on him, and there is no wonder that he is also directing the focus on himself,

because where your energy goes, that's where their attention flows. That is the rule, and you can't bend that. That's rule number three. Number four, women who are cherished have habits, which they do not refrain from, and they don't stray from, because the reality is there are many times in life from childhood, from matressence which is like adolescence but after you become a mum you completely shift and change it's like a new version of yourself there's many times where you will feel lost and like you've lost

yourself but what you cannot do is lose your habits because those are the pillars and the milestones on which you can build character and self-importance you as I said in point number three need to put yourself first and the focus of your energy first in order to do that you need to have pillars on which you constantly lean on. Imagine it, as it were, brushing your teeth. If you are severely depressed, a lot of times people don't brush their teeth, even those habits go. So what I need you to do is create habits in your life, daily life, constant habits, that no matter what happens, and if you've lost your self-esteem, you've lost who you are, you're completely confused, you're not feeling that self-love, that you will constantly lean on

again and again, because what will happen is after you create those habits of, say, for me, was Pilates, reformer Pilates. My body structure went to hell in a hand basket after I had my son because obviously your core stretches. And when I was younger, I had a spine injury from gymnastics. So if I don't have a strong core, my whole sack that is my body, the meat sack, hangs on my spine and my spine cannot handle all of that weight, all of that juicy body. I need to have a strong core jokes aside in order to hold it up. So after I had my son, as you know, you don't have that course. So for me, it was implementing those skincare, Pilates, everything, everything. And you do not feel like any great version of yourself when you begin. But you cannot let yourself off the hook.

You have to do those habits. You have to do those rituals. You have to create that lifestyle by habits as opposed to first trying to reverse engineer it. You cannot say I'm worth something if you do not give yourself that time, that patience, and that beautiful self-care. What are those habits going to be for you? How are you going to cultivate that? Be your own doctor in your life, as it were, be your own medicine man. What is the things that you need to do? And a wonderful thing will happen. As you go to those Pilates, as you brush your teeth in the morning, I know crazy, but some people forget themselves very, very much, as you go to the hairdresser in order to get that perfect hair color that you want as you reinvent your wardrobe you will start becoming the woman you want to be because

it's about acting like the woman you want to be you need to have an avatar in your mind of her as opposed to of you there is always a woman that i'm aiming towards i even have a woman in my imagination that is a version of me that i don't currently look like because i am doing the habits that i would do if i was her because i'm looking at her she's still margarita she's not somebody else she's still Margarita version 3.0 where because we've already done 2.0 that's me currently okay I've talked about it before my YouTube channel this future margarita is a certain way I've imagined how she looks I imagine how she dresses I imagined how her even her nervous system how calm is she how reactive is she when you do your meditations think about that and then I think what

habits does she do what does she do when I'm ordering a restaurant what would she order when I'm getting a drink what would she drink and I don't always always do. idea to it, but I definitely have an avatar of habits that I would do to create Margarita 3.0 and it does not fail you, I promise, if you can create that avatar and line the habits up to that woman, trust me, you will be her eventually. Number five is you give your attention, your resources to people who really shouldn't matter. Has that man paid for your house, for your children, for your car, for your life? And yeah, I'm talking monetarily. Or has he given you the attention, the soul guidance, and the love that you need? Why is this person who's done nothing for you

and never shown you any affection or love towards your soul or towards your progression or towards your finances or towards your well-being guiding how you feel about yourself? Why are we writing him this paragraph? Why are you quantifying to him and qualifying to him why he should be good to you? If he does not know how to be good to you, why are we schooling him? Does he need a second mother? We need to call his mom, re-parent him. What are we doing? Why are we giving our attention also to people on social media who think, I don't know, something is better than something else.

I don't know, bottle feeding over breastfeeding, or maybe kids not watching TV, or maybe when you dress in a certain way, or some other crap. It's constantly listening to the thoughts of other people who have done nothing for you. It makes me laugh so much because I really don't feel very strong peer pressure. but when people write me comments of, oh, you shouldn't do this, you should do, me, me, those type of comments, I just think, in which world did you grow up? And why did this world teach you that your opinion is going to matter to somebody else? That's the thing that always perplexes me the most. There's a thing that always perplexes me the most. I had a comment recently on one of my channels

where I promoted a hair company that I really, really love, really love, used it before they reached out to me. I was like, oh my God, dream come true because do you know what, believe it or not, I have goals. I have a brand I want to build. And one of the pillars of the brand I want to build is to collaborate with other companies that I really love. Shocker. So she wrote to me this very generic thing that a lot of people say, can't believe you sold out and you're promoting a brand. Baby girl, what you don't understand is you're just saying generic things because that is what we're groomed to believe. We're groomed to believe that, oh, my God, sold out.

How about not sold out? How about planned this strategically in order to arrive at a place where I can partner with brands I love? How about that? How about proud of myself in order to represent brands that I really love and feel very happy that they're willing to have me as their ambassador representative? What do you guys think? I don't like take vitamins, what you don't think I use a certain fridge? You don't think I want to affiliate with certain brands? Of course I do. I'm building a business as well as trying to, This is not a business for me. It's a passion, right? But we don't live in a village where I'm just telling you about my ideas that I have. And in return, you're going to make me chicken soup. And that is how we reciprocally look after each other. We live in a world where it's monetary. And I love to create a business for that reason. And it just makes me feel like I'm playing this amazing avatar game, right? So, as I said, this person comes and tells me their version of reality. But what amazes me about people is they think that their version of some reality is going to be perceived by others. Who are you? Who are you? You don't know me? This is not selling out. This is perpetuated and plotted by me. I have achieved something. And I'm using that as an example because it's a very interesting one to me. People come in your life. They've done nothing for you. They do not pay your bills. They have no jurisdiction over you and they think that you should give them your energy. Don't give them your energy. Especially men who want to tell you this one, that one, the other one, how you should look, how you should be, and make you cry, you're going to make your face puffy for

him who's never done anything for you. Why? What jurisdiction does he have over your life? Women who are cherished don't cry over people who have not proven an action that they're worth it. Point number seven is women who are cherished in their relationship. Do not try and drive the point home. And like I said, don't write paragraphs to people about why he did something wrong and why something needs to be changed. The principle that you don't understand if you think that this is, and often women will write this to me, that I'm just standing up for myself, I just need him to communicate what it is that he thought he was doing, et cetera, et cetera, having these conversations so the cows come home, is you're still putting that person as the source of your ego and the source of your self-esteem

and your self-worth. These types of women don't do that. These types of women give themselves their own self-worth because you might think the woman who says nothing who just lets things slide is the type of woman who is taken for granted and yes that's true but it's not very far from the type of woman who tries to drive the point home constantly trying to make him see her point of view trying to write these extensive things or just basically nagging and berating or screaming and yelling it is still communicating the same thing it's still saying that unless you give me the satisfaction of approving of me, of letting me know that I am worthy, then I don't have my self-esteem, that I don't have my self-worth. It takes a certain self-knowledge and a certain self-power to say,

okay, you feel that way or you're going to be that certain way, I'm still going to derive my self-esteem from myself, as opposed to berating to you how you should treat me. If you had true self-esteem, you would just remove yourself from that person. You would put up boundaries and you would not be around that person you would leave. Telling them how they hurt you and how they should act and what they should do. I'm not talking about minor things. I'm not talking about, oh, you hurt me like this. Please don't do that.

And then you get over it. But berating someone going on, going over the top, going crazy is very, very similar to just taking it and being in that relationship anyway because you're still putting that person as the center of your self-esteem. You may think that by berating them into treating you better, that you are opposite to the girl who just is a pick me and takes it whatever the treatment is, but you're not. You're still saying, validate me. Validate me.

I will make you validate me. I will be aggressive to you until you validate me. And that is not what a woman does who is actually cherished. Number eight, women who are cherished understand that they cannot bring the baggage from their past relationships and their traumas to their current one and expect their partner to just deal with it. They understand that they have to also bring something. amazing, some mystery, some charms, some playfulness. I always say that feminine energy is predicated

on playfulness, it's predicated on that constant feminine playful joy. If you are missing that, if you are not bringing that to your partner, if you're not bringing that feminine fountain of femininity, then you have to understand that you are a succubus and you are just taking that energy. Even if you got treated badly, I always say that there is times to talk about it, but you cannot make your current person pay for the woes you've had in your past. And there's times to talk about it. There's times to have a chinwag about it. And that's all fine and fair. And I completely understand. But it's not going to amplify the way that they treat you and how they cherish you. You have to have some self-awareness about that fact. You have to know that you're bringing something to that

relationship also. You have to have wisdom about which parts of yourself you show to your partner. And I say when you're in early dating stages, please do not say how your boyfriend mistreated you, how mean they were, how naughty they were, how much they cheated. It's a mistake that women make it honestly. It's not a good one. All it says is it devalues you to the person you're dating and you are probably screaming at me right now. How dare you marguerite? How dare you say it devalues you? But it does.

That person doesn't know you from a bar of soap. They're not your loved one. They're not somebody that you know and love. They shouldn't have to carry that baggage yet. And you've sit down on a first date. you have sat down on a first date and you've decided to tell them how badly you've always been treated, that person's going to think one thing, no matter how good or bad they are, what did she do and how did that happen?

Why do people not cherish her? That's a fact. It is your job to cultivate some mystery. It is your job to have some self-possession. And it is your job to present the facts that you want about yourself. Guys, they have started gardening outside. They've started gardening, trying to, you know, know, derail our conversation.

But I hope you can't hear it. The lawnmowers. But eight points. These are eight points that women who are cherished most certainly do. And the ones that are not, don't. I advise that you use them, you meditate on them, you think about them, especially the point about creating a future you, that you are aiming towards.

I am working on that right now. And girl, it works. Guys, thank you for leaving me the five-star reviews. It helps catapult this podcast. to help me create a vision for this podcast that is going to be coming soon. I am so excited to share what is coming. You have no idea. So thank you for the five stars.

Thank you for the comments. Thank you for following. And thank you for being you. Until next time. Love you lots like jelly tops.