BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 30: 10 Male Manipulations You Need To Run From

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

This episode is all about the sutble and not so subtle male manipulations that men use on women to get their way. Some are concious. Others are not but you need to be aware of them none the less. Let me know which of these you have come across in your life.LINKS:20 feminine energy principles: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesalesPolarity MasterClass (20 secrets to long lasting attraction & love) : https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/polarity-masterclassAmazon book list:https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenkoBecome Magnetic (Free Ebook): https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/Email me: [e-mail] by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hello, hello, welcome back to Being Her. I'm sure you guys have heard the exciting news. We're now signed with Dear Media, which is the most seredipitous, amazing thing ever to have happened. Just proves that when you're in a feminine energy and flow, it just happens. Because I've been listening to Dear Media podcasts, and namely Skinny Confidential since they started. So, super excited, super grateful.

and excited for the things ahead. That's kind of what I've been hinting at, and there is more things to come that I'm hinting out that you guys are going to be so excited about. This podcast is about male manipulations, things that men do, either consciously or subconsciously, that leads us to fall for them, but it's toxic, and it's not a good idea.

So we're just going to go through the 10 or so things. Maybe there's going to be 9. Maybe there's going to be 12, or maybe there's going to be 11. We don't know, but let's just start at the beginning. these are the things you need to watch out for my honey because if you don't have your peepers open, if you don't have your eyes open, you're going to fall for things that are going to activate and trigger your anxious attachment style, okay?

And we all know what that is. That is when you get triggered into feeling like you love a person, when in reality, they're just triggering your anxiety and making you feel like you're addicted to them. So the number one manipulation that men love to do, whether it's conscious or subconscious, some of this is pick up artistry and some of this is just their non-worked. through issues, but we women get addicted to men who blow hot and cold, who make our lives amazing, take us out on the most amazing date, say all the right things. And then the next day, he is not replying, and he is not there, and he is ghost town, and he is just not to be seen.

This kind of behavior, I don't care whether he's learned it in some kind of master class, when in reality you don't even want to be dating that kind of guy, because a guy who you want to be dating isn't doing masterclasses on how to pick up with me. and trust me, because men who you want are life inclined, things inclined, as opposed to relationship inclined. Men who are sitting and wondering how to pick up women are not the type of guy you want. The first type, we don't want those. We don't want the guy who's doing relationship courses, but secondly, and this is the most prevalent one, is a guy who just does not have healthy relationships and a healthy attachment style himself. He's blowing hot and cold, and what's happening to your

brain is that you're mistaking his hot and coldness for your attachment when maybe your parents didn't reply to you or your parents didn't look at you or your parents didn't give you the type of attention you needed you are trying to emulate that and heal that in your life now. So that is what you're trying to do. So it's not actually him that you're infatuated with. It's the behavior and the rhythm of give you a little bit, take away a little bit, give you a little bit, take away a little bit. It's again and again seen studies where they do a lab mouse studies where they get a rat that pulls a lever or a lever, depends where you're from. And if the treat is consistent, the rat kind of gets bored of it. If it never comes, the rat gets bored of it.

But if the treat comes sometimes and sometimes it doesn't come, the rat literally gets addicted and frantic about pressing the lever in order to get the treat to come down. And that is exactly what is happening to you. So right now you're clouded because he is giving, not giving, giving, giving, not giving. And it's actually a technique you can reverse. If you reverse it, it works the same on other people. It's toxic, don't do it. But what I'm saying is, is that that's the number one male manipulation because they like to blow hot and cold and that makes you addicted, not to them, but to the behavior. The way to navigate this is if a man is doing this to you, given the benefit of a doubt. So you need to approach him and say, here, listen, I know that you're blowing

hot and cold. You're sometimes there. You're sometimes missing. This is not the type of relationship I want to have. If you want to be with me, I like it consistent and I like it like it like this. And you're a great guy. I'd like that with you. But if not, then absolutely no hard feelings. You're free to go. Fly free, baby. So that's the thing. And if he still consistently does it, that means it is now conscious. You've now warned him and he's still doing it. And he needs to be dropped like a bag of hot potatoes because you are going to be living a life of misery, addicted to this behavior and not to the actual person. And that is a recipe for disaster. Second male manipulation that they do, and it's something in order to preserve control for

themselves and in order to keep you hanging if they're not sure if you're the one, that's the first reason. And secondly, it's a way to actually control a woman because women are known in a relationship when they really like a man is to want to settle down and lock it in, aka get married or whatever your version of that is. It doesn't necessarily have to be a ring, but it has to be some kind of movement forward. And the guy's always playing with that I'm not ready to settle down. I'm not ready to call it a relationship. I'm not ready to get married. The danger with this is you're going to come out of it with a very low self-esteem. Because for us, we want to be chosen. We want the guy to be sure. And I said on my TikTok and I say it

on all my channels again and again, and I say it on my masterclasses. 20 feminine energy principles and the polarity principles about relationships. I say on both those masterclasses, which you can find on www. margueriteanazerenco.com, my website, check them out. I say, on them that it is highly and hugely important for you to know that he is sure. I don't care if he's short or tall. I don't care if he's rich or not. I don't care he's fat or thin. I don't care what he is. But if he's not sure, he cannot stay. It's going to ruin your feminine energy. It's going to ruin your self-assuredness and it's going to ruin everything that's going for you if you are chasing him and his approval. So the second manipulation that men do is not set concrete

dates and ideas. Oh, I don't know if I want to. Oh, yeah, soon in the future. Oh, yeah, we'll see, we'll do it. It would be the equivalent of you saying, honey, what do you want for dinner? And he says, pastor, he comes home and there is no pastor. Where's the pastor? Oh, I'll make it one day. I'll make it someday. I'll make it one day. He's hungry now. It makes no sense. And we're used to putting up with this BS because, oh, he's not sure. He's not sure. He's not sure. He's not sure. He can not be sure somewhere else. He cannot be not sure on your time. Do you know what I mean? He can be not sure whilst you live your life and date other people and travel to Milan and do amazing things. And then when he's sure, we can reconvene, but he cannot be unsure for 10 years on your time because it is just degrading and denigrating you.

And it's not a good thing. And he's either doing it to control you because there's something you want from him that he's not giving you or he's genuinely not into you like his dream girl. You are just not that for him. both of those scenarios are not a good idea. I'm not saying you meet a guy in tomorrow he's got a lock in a marriage date, but if you both agree on that and he's still not sure and he's uming and aaring, if by three, four, five months of him humming and aarring, he's still doing it, then it's not a good look.

Don't put up with it. The third type of male manipulation is to say that he is wounded from his past and he is so wounded now, he's so emotionally traumatized because Elizabeth was so mean to him. and Rebecca cheated on him and all this stuff. Basically, it is not, I heard on an interview that Matthew McConaughey has always talked nicely about by his exes and he's dated some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, Penelope Cruz and the likes. And he's always kind about them. Wow, Penelope was a great girl. Wow, this woman was a great woman. Wow, there's no one like her.

A real gentleman and a masculine man will always talk kindly about his partners and he wouldn't have been in a long-term relationship with a partner who is terrible to him. And if ended terribly, it's not his fault. And that happens. But a gentleman is able to move on. And especially if he started dating you and he's telling you how bad she was, how crazy she was, how she's a psycho. And now he can't recover even because he can't tell you where he is. He can't tell you where he is because she was controlling. And he doesn't want to be controlled again. And oh, my gosh. And it's also dramatic and debilitating. it's a manipulation. He is leading you around on leash. It's a full manipulation is what he's trying to do and you should not fall for it. He should not be talking in a bad way about his exes. Not all women

are crazy. As soon as a guy utters the thing, oh, my ex was crazy. No, my love, you are crazy. You are crazy to even start talking like that because any woman worth her value knows that if he's talking like that about her, he'll talk like that about you. Of course, if he was a married man and things didn't work out, of course you're going to find out why he's got these 2.4 children. And he's going to talk about it and it's going to be fine and he's going to say it respectfully, but we didn't work out or she just wasn't for me. But mind the gap, ladies and gentlemen, when he's telling you about how crazy she was. That's a manipulation in order to get out of things with you or to get you to treat him in a certain way.

Yucky. Fourth type of manipulation that men love to do and this is my favorite. I don't know. This one gets me because I guess I interact with this type of BS online. but it is a type of man who goes, talks about, I want to be loved for me. I just want to be loved for me. I don't want a gold digger. I don't want her to use me. Why is there always men talking like this who have nothing to be used for? And those are the same men who talk about them wanting a traditional wife who stays at home and doesn't work. But they don't want to be used by a woman for his money,

because how dare she uses money, but somehow she's going to be traditional and stay at home. They're just very, very confused. And the whole whole thing. notion, be a man or a woman, this childish, infantile notion that somehow you are going to wake up in the world and just be loved for nothingness. Even as a woman, you're loved for something, for your amazing energy, for how you show up in the room, for how vibrant you are. Listen to all my podcasts. I talk about everything a woman is and what femininity is and all these things you have to be in order to be of value. That's fine. Your mom can love you just as you are. And, And you are intrinsically lovable human being just as you are. But if a man is going around

telling you in your face about how the fact that the gold diggers are trying to get him and how he wants to be loved for him and not for anything he does, but who he is, he's setting you up in order for you to never ask him for anything. A man in his masculine energy wants to give a woman who he's with something. He wants to provide for his children. He wants to provide for his woman. He wants to do things for his community. He wants to do things in this world. He doesn't want to be just loved and adored for being. He's either manipulating you or he's very, very in his feminine energy, which a lot of you wouldn't want. And when you DM me and you talk to me, you're saying, oh, he just wants to be there and do nothing. It's not what we, as women,

are attracted to. So don't fall for that manipulation when he's all like, oh, I just want to be loved from me. It's not it, Barry. That's not it, especially if you're talking about it. We all as humans deserve to be loved for who we are. And I love my friends, my husband. and my mom and everybody for who they are. But if they're talking about it, they're trying to twist the scenario. The fifth type of manipulation is this infantile man who derives his self-worth from you proving to him that you love him or that you want to be in a relationship with him. Prove to me that you love me and don't go out with your friends today.

Prove to me that you love me and do this one, that one, the other one. I don't have personal experience with this kind of man because I find it quite repugnant. But I know a lot of women who do where if you love you love you. love me, you would. If you love me, would. This person is not matured. This is beyond masculine, feminine energy. This is beyond dating. This is beyond anything. This person has literally stagnated somewhere at 11 years old and not matured. And if you are going to enter a relationship with a man like this, with a boy like this, then you are going to take on the mother role and you're going to be jumping through hoops, trying to prove to him that you love him for the rest of your life. It's a

recipe for disaster. Again, as are all these manipulations. They're all a recipe for But this one proved to me by this action or you said that you don't love me. And you know those ick TikToks when they're like, Boo Boo doesn't love daddy or whatever it is. Like, yuck. Do you know those ones where like when he gives you the ick, I'm the ugliest guy in the world and you don't love me? Like that infantile behavior, that's a manipulation. And if you didn't know that's a manipulation, then we got something else coming. but that is an obvious manipulation where you've got to jump through hoops to prove the love.

Yuck. Number six is when he tries to get empathy and sympathy from you constantly. You as a partner to him, as his woman, need to listen to his woes and that's fine and we all go through it. But there's a limitation. And this one's talked a lot about this kind of subject in the media or TikToks or whatever is like women only like a masculine man. If you show her weakness, she won't like you. And that's very different. Women like an open man, but women like a man who's got forward motion and he can get through things. Everybody likes that type of person. It's a confident person who does

get down on themselves, but then they can move through it. So if he's always, the world is against me, they're against me, they didn't approve me, they don't like me, the weather doesn't like me, the cloud is raining on me, it's on purpose on me. They're like, they're against me. There are some people, some people who've got everything against them, physically and every other way against them, you would think in the world, yet they never talk about it and they come out on top. And that kind of human courage and human capacity to move through things is seriously admirable. We all know what is admirable. And if you want to be with a man, you want to admire him. And as much as it might make you feel close to him when he's complaining that woe is his life and everything's against him,

when it's really not, after a while you're going to start to resent him because you're going to want to be with somebody who can move through things. And you cannot always be pitying him. And essentially, he's looking for a mother. He's not looking for a woman. Because with a woman, a man wants to impress her. I have no problem with listening to a man and how things happen for a day, two days, three days, four days. But afterwards, I don't want you to be using this technique to manipulate me into mothering you because you didn't have that in your life. Unless, of course, that's the dynamic you want, but be careful with it because men really like to do that. Number seven is psychological and deeply impactful and perhaps most dangerous and that is gaslighting. Men who make you feel like

your reality, your world, your emotions is not a reality. And often when you're being gaslit, it's a really, really hard situation to get away from because they've convinced you that your version of reality, your world, how you are living, is not real at all. So how can you identify that you're being gaslit. It's very important that you open up communication in your life with other people and if you see that they also say the same things about you. But you have to understand in gaslighting, that person's trying to make you feel like you're crazy, like you're doing crazy things, like your feelings are irrational, like your emotions are irrational, like you're strange. And it's very rare that anybody else would impose that on you. So if somebody in your life, will the man in

your life is constantly saying, yeah, you're strange for thinking that. Yeah, you're a bit weird for thinking that. Nobody ever thinks that they're trying to literally attack the fiber of your being. No healthy person is ever going to gaslight you into thinking that you are not what you feel or appear. He's going to say, oh, your friends, they think this about you. That person thinks this about you. They're going to try and manipulate the fiber of your reality. And that is very, very dangerous for your self-esteem. If you realize that someone around you is doing this, let alone a man, anybody, you have to run because gas lighting is literally designed to make you think you're crazy. It comes from a movie where a man wanted to think, for his wife to think that she's crazy.

So he used to turn off the gas lamps and then turn them back on. And when she said they were off, he'd say, no, they weren't. So it's literally in order to make you feel like you're cuckoo crazy. And in order to completely disbalance who you are. If you're a nice person, they'll be like, oh, you're not a very nice person. You said that everyone around you was looking at you, and you're like, really, and you start to believe it, it's very, very dangerous and don't buy into that. It's controlling, and it's very toxic. The eighth style of manipulation that men do that you shouldn't fall for, and this one is a very obvious one, but so many women do.

And this one is something that you really need to look at yourself about. If he's telling you that who else would want you if I didn't want you, because I don't know what, we've been together for so long, or your cookie personality, or the way you dress, or you've got kids, or you've got a weird job, or you're. you work nights. I don't care what the reason is he's thinking of. If he is saying those things to you and you are falling for it by falling for it, I mean validating him by being even in the vicinity of this person who is talking like this to you, then you've got issues in your own self-esteem already. If you are allowing a man to be around you who's saying who else would want you, you're already

living in a dynamic where you've got a victim, a perpetrator kind of scenario. I don't mean he's going to do anything to you. God hope he doesn't. But what I'm saying is he's already put into the works of manipulation and a style of communication with you whereby you are subservient to his attacks on you. And it's a very, very bad thing. So if that is how he talks to you, it's not a co-winky dink. It's not just because he was mad. It is terrible. And it's not something you should live with. The ninth style of male manipulation that you need to watch out for and not fall for is the guy who can never apologize and somehow when you have brought up something that he has done, it ends up with you apologizing for the guy you text three weeks ago about work and he thought

that that was cheating. This man is not mature enough and too manipulative to be in a relationship with. That's why it's number nine. He predicates everything on not having his ego broken so he can never take acknowledgement and apologize for something genuinely. And he's got to flip it on you. And that is not a man you want to be with. If he cannot ever take ownership of actions he makes or genuinely apologize for something he's done, if you cannot think about a time where he had to apologize and he did so, then this is definitely a manipulator. And number 10. male manipulation that you need to watch out for, and this is the worst and most insidious one, except for the gaslighter, who I think was number seven, is a liar. And male lying in order to

get what they want is very, very dangerous. Because we women love with our ears. It kind of falls with number two when they promise you that one day they want to get married, but really they never, ever, ever want to marry you at all. It goes hand in hand, but it can get worse. They meet a woman and they paint the scenario that you want. You've got to be very, very acutely careful with it. Do his lies make sense? Is the stories he tell you real? And I've told you on previous episodes that men kind of over-emphasize maybe their body count or the size of the fish they caught on that boy's trip and that's fine because men will do that. If he's creating a whole different scenario for himself and he's saying things in order to get you to be with him because he knows that women love with

there is, then you've got to be really careful. This type of person is a false person. They're creating a false identity. And they know that you are going to fall for them based on the fact that you want them to be the type of person that they're appearing to be. But you need to be very careful. Do things make sense? Does it always work out? And you need to not give them your time of day when you see that it doesn't. Because if you say, oh, this doesn't make sense, that doesn't make sense. Well, they'll just have another lie. And you find way more often than women. men who construct their lives around lies because women fall for it. Men don't really fall for this kind of stuff.

They know when a woman's lying. They don't fall in love with their ears. We do. So you need to be very, very careful with these kinds of men. So those are the 10 manipulations that men do in order to confuse you, to go fuffle you, and to manipulate you. And you should watch out for them because it can leave you in a real place of a emotional deficits of feeling bad about yourself, of not liking yourself, and of losing self-esteem,

and it's not worth it to be around these type of men. So let me know, guys, let me know my Instagram, let me know my TikTok, let me know here if these are the types of men you've been around. Also, if you would be so kind in leaving me a review or five stars, I would be eternally grateful. Thanks for lending me your ears. Thank you for supporting the podcast. and thank you for being you. I'll speak to you next time. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.