BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 31: 8 Steps To Becoming HER & Manifesting Your Dreams In 3 Months.

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

Mind shifts, core beliefs, abundance. We talk about all the good stuff on this episode. I love this kind of forward planing & life shift coming into the new year. These 8 steps made the most shifts in my life personally & I hope they make the difference in your life too.LINKS:20 feminine energy principles: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesalesPolarity MasterClass (20 secrets to long lasting attraction & love) : https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/polarity-masterclassAmazon book list:https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenkoBecome Magnetic (Free Ebook): https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/Email me: [e-mail] Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello, hello, you gorgeous human. Today we are changing our life. We're changing our life in eight steps. We are not playing around. This is serious. These are mind shifts. These are steps that I genuinely, genuinely used in my life.

I was not always the way I am. I didn't always have this perseverance and confidence. People tell me I've got confidence. People tell me I've got confidence. self-knowing. Okay. So we are going to analyze that and we are going to change our trajectory in our life with eight steps. You are going to change in these next three months, October, November, December, by January, you are going to be a different version of you. I am not going to tell you to go to the gym. I am not going to tell you to eat salad, but I will tell you mindset shifts,

okay? So thank you for joining me today. everyone who subscribes, everyone who gives me amazing comments, reviews, you are the real ones, I see you, I know who you are, I'm giving you good vibes, and everyone else who likes this type of content, subscribe, leave this a good review. Synergetic exchange is a good thing. So, first of all, before we go into the eight points, the thing that you need to understand is self-mastery, self-understanding and the fact that I am seven months pregnant. So if you hear me breathing, like I am, you know, really committed to this, I am very committed to this. I'm committed to your life and you changing, okay? And you becoming her, the person or him, the person that you actually are.

And don't get it twisted. The concept of being her or him is the idea of getting back to your true self. Okay. So for the purposes of this, we're remembering that self-mastery and the realization of who you are meant to be in this world, who you are appearing to be is perhaps the reason for life. Everyone has different ideas of what life is about. To you, it's one thing. To me, it's another thing. To Josh Mo over there is a third thing. But for me, the reason to live is to be something and then manufacture myself almost into a new reality and a new way of being. into somebody that, I don't know, I just want to be at the end. I want to be at the end of this movie that is called life and be like, yes, I did that.

I did not go gentle into that good night. I made something happen. So self-realization, self-concept, you are the master of this ship and where you turn the wheel is where the ship will go. And you may turn it into a storm, but wouldn't you rather turn it into a storm out of your own choice? as opposed to just walk around willy-nitty, not knowing what life is throwing at you, what you're getting, what you're doing, and stumbling through life.

Let's make the choices. Let's become the person you want to be in these next three months. And if you're listening to it later, then pick the other three months. If you're watching this later, if you're listening, pick another three months. It doesn't have to be October, November, December.

If you're here going, oh, no, it's not New Year, no, that's not it. It can be March, April, May, whatever it is you want it to be. Birthday months are great for it too. So step number one is to decide. To decide in Latin, to decide means to make an incision, but a decision means to cut off all things

apart from the choices you have made. You cannot go forward without a decision. You need to decide what it is you want. Who is it you want to be? How do you want to appear in this world? What kind of characters do you want to manifest? Who do you want to manifest? manifest yourself as. How are we going to manufacture you? How are we going to manufacture who you are

as a human being? What does that appear like? For example, this is a very good example for me. When I decided in the past to become somebody that prioritizes my health and healthy eating and to look after my body as opposed to I can get in a very junk food eating, it doesn't matter mentality, not even in a binging sense, not even in a let me just eat everything sense, but in a just like, I don't care about it, I'm not going to focus on food, I'm just going to eat what I want, like a teenage mentality almost. I can get there very, very quickly. So for me, the idea of decision, and I'm going to use food in this example to illustrate what it means is you cannot get anywhere with the first step is to decide who you want to be by trying to

force yourself, eliminate things, or make yourself do something with furious vengeance. You have to shift your whole perspective of who you are. So as opposed to saying, I'm not going to have croissants for breakfast. I am not going to have a burger for lunch and I'm not going to, it's not about the knots. It's about the identity. You know those women who just get up and have green juices? I'm not saying that should be you, but I'm just saying the identity of a human being. She does yoga, she does green juice. I've got a friend like this. If I had to tell her like, how do you stop yourself from having the croissant? How do you stop yourself from having this, that and the other thing? She doesn't have to stop herself because she does not have the identity.

She does not have the identity of the croissant burger eater. Because what she looks for on the menu is how can I nourish my body? How can I feel good in my body? How can I move forward through this earth and power myself with nutritional food. In the past, when I've made that shift, it was around the time when I had missed universe and I started to really focus on how I looked and how I presented to the world. I didn't, I woke up one day and I decided to be that person.

I was like, no, I'm going to focus on nutrition. I'm going to focus on what's good for my body, not even on vanity metrics, but what's good for me. I am going to treat this body like a machine that is here to perform. in its best capacity, as opposed to something that I just throw food into willingly for no reason. And let me tell you my body change. I don't even think I could have a body like that. And I'm using this as an example. So if this is, if the reason to decide is to decide that you're

going to be a confident person, if the reason to decide is you're going to be a charming person, if the reason to decide is you're going to get that job you want, you need to decide and come into this earth from right now, from the moment you make that decision, not I'm going to be, but I am already, this person, hence manifesting, hence understanding that it is as it appears right now in the current moment. If you have to stand there in the cafe and be like, oh, I really want that cake, but I can't have it, then you haven't made the mindset set to shift. You haven't made the mindset to change. You have not shifted your mindset because you are still old Elizabeth. Elizabeth who likes cakes. New Elizabeth does not eat cakes. It's like, for example, you see

a baby eating baby food. You're not like, oh, I shouldn't eat that baby food. You're not a baby. You don't identify yourself with a baby. When you see a dog eating as delicious dog food, it is very delicious for the dog, but you don't identify as dog, therefore you don't want to eat dog food. It was as simple as that for me when I decided, who is she? How does she act? How does she appear in this world? You guys often tell me, oh, but how do I not react to people who are toxic or negative? Like, how do I not react when he's not replying to me. You have to manifest that woman that you are in your head. I don't know who it is, Angelina Jolie, is it Blake lively, is it somebody super cool, is it somebody super fun, and be like,

how is she reacting? And you need to actually be her, act, act until it becomes a reality. That's the only option. This episode is brought to you by Better Help. I remember in 2020 I had my son Leo and it was just as lockdowns happened in Australia, they were severe and going through postpartum and going through lockdowns and not knowing I didn't see my mum and she didn't meet Leo for 18 months. It was just such a time that I can't even really remember. I remember documenting it on Instagram, but I never really reached out for help in any way. And I wish I knew about better help back then. I am now due and I'm eight months with my next child and I feel that this is something that I would be

exploring definitely if I need someone to talk to. The reason I highly recommend better help if you want to get on top of your mental health is because you can go on there, you can fill out a questionnaire and it matches you with a therapist that is suited to you. The part I like best and why I mention the postpartum experience is because driving with a baby. baby, getting out of the house is just not a viable option. If you're somebody who has been, maybe stuck in the house, maybe you just want to talk to somebody last minute, maybe you don't even want to do it face to face. Maybe you want to do it over text message. Better help has those options. And my favorite part is that you can change your therapist if you feel you need to

because I feel seeing eye to eye with your therapist is perhaps the most important part. and being able to swap without having to have that awkward conversation is amazing. If you want to give it a try, go to betterhelp.com slash being her today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash being her. Number two is boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Margarita loves boundaries.

And it is the idea of who am I in the reality that I want to manifest? I had a message about somebody who is being treated by a certain way by a guy. She's being, you know, disrespected. She's being this. He's ghosting her. He's not replying. And at the end of the message, after she lists all these ways that this man is abusive to her essentially not treating her subhumanly, she goes, what should I do?

The idea that the problem that we're having my love is you don't have boundaries and protection around yourself of the type of person you want to be. You don't have boundaries and protection of the type of person that you want to appear as. You are stumbling willy-nilly. You're telling me all these atrocious ways that this person has told you, talked to you, acted towards you, and you're saying, what should I do? What do you want me to say? You should knock on his door and demand good treatment. I demand to be treated well. People treat you as you appear in this world, and sometimes a crazy narcissist will come across your path and they will treat you subpar. But let me tell you what people with secure attachment and people who have self-esteem do is that those people don't appear in their

lives anymore. So you need to, after you've decided the type of person you want to be, you need to decide what kind of boundaries that person has. Who is that person? If you're asking yourself the question, oh, but what should I do after he's ghosted me seven times? If the answer is not obvious, you need to imagine, again, the woman that you want to be and how she would react in that situation. It's very simple. You need to cut out things that don't serve you. That's what boundaries mean. People, food, ideas, mercilessly. There's a whole notion about not watching the news or things that stress you out. A lot of people say, oh, but how I need to keep up with the news, I need to keep up with the news. Why do you need to keep up with the news? The only reason you need to

keep up with the news is if you have some kind of pivotal and realistic way that you can change the trajectory of life and therefore you need to keep up with the news and you need to know what's going on because you're a president and you're going to do something. If you're not going to do anything, it's just going to stress you out and you're already depleted. You don't give enough to yourself. You don't do enough for yourself. If you are already hanging by a thread, then you need to eliminate all these things that are toxins in your life. Cut them out mercilessly. They don't serve you. They need to go. That man, he's making you feel bad because he's ghosting you. He's doing this. What do I do, Marguaries? Cut him out. Get bored of it. It's very boring. It's very boring. You've got one life, my love. How are you going to waste it? How are you going to waste it? Jesus God? How are you going to waste it? It scares me for you on this kind of behavior. You need to understand that with feminine energy, which I know is something you're trying to deploy, you need to, when you're setting boundaries is essentially the deepest root of feminine energy is cut away the things that

have been imposed on you. What are those things? Good girl syndrome. She's so good. She's so subservient. She's so good to others. She makes others feel so good. If you watch a child having a tantrum, child psychologists essentially say that when a child has a tantrum, it's because they deeply know what they want. Lollipop. Okay? They know they want Lollipop. And you're there saying no. But the beauty of a child knowing that she wants lollipop is that she knows what she wants. I'm talking to you right now. You're in your 20s and 30s. You don't know what you want. Margarita, what is my passion? What is my passion? I don't know what I want. He's treating me like this. What should I do? You've gone so far away from the essence of feminine energy. And that is whimsical flow and

liberty and just nature. You need to get back to who you were. You knew when you were young what it is to be natural and in flow. You knew you wanted lollipop. You knew you didn't want to be treated badly. If someone treats a kid badly, they go, she's mean. That guy is mean who's ghosting you. That should be boring to you. Your life is so precious and so one-off

that you shouldn't have time for this kind of malarkey. So boundaries is number two. Number three is writing down in the now the type of person that you are, that you appear as. You're being her list. It doesn't mean that you're writing down, I, in one year I'm going to have the best body of my life. In three months, I'm going to whiten my teeth. You write down, I've got long, beautiful hair, which is something I wrote down a few years ago. My hair was like this, down to my chin, and I'd burnt it and bleached it.

But if you make something your reality, if you make something, how you move through space, how you move through time, how you appear as a human being, your reality, you will appear in this earth as that much quicker than if you say, I want, I want, I want, because if you're putting the I want energy out there, if you're putting the I want energy out there, you're going to be in the wanting, you're going to be in the desperate wanting energy, you're not going to be in the having energy. So what you need to write down is, as you appear, even if you don't appear it now, I have beautiful long hair. I have a podcast. It's in the charts. I'm telling you what I wrote, okay? I am loved and valued by my family. I can't remember if these are the exact things I wrote,

but it's something like that, right? I, I am doing this, I am having this, I'm enjoying this. And for the context of this, me and you are working on the three month deadline of who we're going to appear as. So the being her list is everything that you appear as every day, who you are. It should give you joy. It should literally spark joy in your soul and make you so excited. Then, and I love this bit, I am a list-making Virgo, I love this bit. Even though in this ideal signs, apparently I'm a Leo. Anyway, Leo Virgo, whoever I am, listen to me. You need to not only make this ascetic list of who you want to appear as,

not want to, zip it, Margarita, you currently appear as, and it might feel silly, but do it that way. you then need to write down in a bullet point diary every day. So I've got long luscious hair. What is the daily and weekly action that you're going to take towards that? Me? I need to stop bleaching my hair and washing it every day. That's how I grew my hair.

I stopped bleaching it. I invested in a really good hairstylist. It was worth it for me. I stopped washing it. I only blow dry it once a week. It now doesn't get dirty, but we can go into beauty tips on another, you know, interaction that you and I have. The point is, you need to have this manifestation list of who you

appear in the world. You need to have this manifestation list of who you appear as in the world. And you then need to have practical set of goals and sets of achievable daily, am I moving the needle type things. In my diary every day, I have something that moves the needle towards the person, towards the her that I am. Okay? If that is a full day with my son, then it's something towards the moving the needle of, I want to be a present parent, you know,

and I am going to give him time. It doesn't always happen. I can't always be the best, you know, slice of cheese on the cheeseboard, whatever that means, Margarita, cool. But every day I'm moving the needle towards that person. I have never had such a busy season in my, life. I am making a podcast. I am working around the clock on projects that I'm so excited for you guys to

find out about, by the way, and I have a toddler and I'm eight months pregnant. This is where HelloFresh comes in. Genuinely, I have used them for about five years of my life through seasons where I've needed to both be nutritionally replenished and at times where I don't want to get takeaways and I need to also, at the moment, feed my child. He deserves. serves healthy meals. I've been using HelloFresh three times a week. For my son, it makes it a no-brainer. He goes to school three days a week. Those are the days I'd make the HelloFresh, but I work. I work consistently on those days non-stop on creating what I need to create and making the business that I am creating. And when he gets home, we make the meals together. Kids love them and I really,

really highly recommend it for the freshness, for the amazingness of the meals, and for the kid friendliness. So go to hellofresh.com slash 50 being her and use code 50 being her for 50% off plus free shipping. Go to hellofresh.com slash 50 being her and use code 50 being her for 50% off plus free shipping. Point number four. Let me tell you that the one thing that I would say moved me from, you know, studying life coaching, being confused how to implement it, not knowing whether I'm going to be a content creator or how I'm appearing the space, making like an average salary, trying to make ends meet to now running my businesses, doing this podcast,

all of it, like wildest dreams, is gratitude journaling. And I wasn't even sure how much it would move the needle for me. But let me tell you that for about six months to one year, I did not miss. The reason I say six months to one year is because I was sporadic and then I got religious about it. At the end of every day, every day, boo-boo, I wrote down three things that I'm grateful for and you have to get creative with it. If you write down my husband, my cat and my dog, I will rip that journal out of your hand.

Okay? You have to be so intrinsically in tune with gratitude. Right now I'm looking out and I can see the water here and I can see trees here and I'm grateful for nature and the fact that the weather is beautiful and even down. Like I want you to feel it in your solar plexus. I want you to feel in your solar plexus about how wonderful and joyous the fact that you get to see this beautiful. A lot of people don't. If you can really connect to that, I am telling you, research it, vibrationally, you will attract a different life.

That's where my life shifted. You might not know what you're doing. You don't have to know what you're doing. Three points. It can be on your phone app. It can be on your notes. It can be on your calendar. I don't care where you put it.

Write it down in your little journal. It doesn't have to be in depth, but you need to feel as you write it, the gratitude of that, that I can see sunshine, that I've got a home, that just anything, become in tune with identifying amazing things in your life. The next point is abundance. Number five, you are enough, there is enough, there is lots of opportunities, this world is not finite, resources will not run out. You need to manifest your reality. You need to have some fear and some fire up your ass about the fact that you were given this one chance to be you. You are a unique freaking snowflake. Like Fight Club says, okay? But at the same time, you need to understand that it's not so deep,

that it's not so pivotal, that if you choose to see abundance, you will see it. If I tell you red car, red car, I want to buy a red car, it's a Toyota, I want to buy a red Toyota, suddenly you see red Toyotas. Read it. Again, things like this, like the gratitude point about the Japanese scientist who talked to water and then magnified it and saw that water crystallizes differently in beautiful snowflake patterns when you talk beauty onto it and becomes gangrenous and disgusting when you tell it, you hate it and it's disgusting.

even the fibers of our universe respond to self-talk. So I'm telling you, feel abundance. You're telling me right now I can hear your mind, oh, but life's not abundant. It's not like that. I wasn't born with this, that, the other one. Nor was I. Baby girl, you were sitting here telling me, nor was I, okay?

At a certain point, my mom had to choose between milk or cereal, okay, when I was growing up. So it's not about that, but it's about a reality. And even her, my mom, she's in a very different place now. abundance, seeing opportunity, what could I do with this, what could I do with that? Read Victor Frankel's book, people have lived through incredible adversity and come out the other side. You need to understand that this universe is here to serve you if you choose to see it that way or not serve you if you don't choose to see it that way. Abundance.

Next is a very dear one to me because core beliefs is something that is, so hard to shift, so hard to shift. It's like pulling teeth. But if you change a core belief, if you really master it, you will be the master of your mind, which means you'll be the master of the universe. Everything you think, you didn't choose to think. It's come to you from somewhere. Someone made you believe it. You saw some evidence appearing to be true and you decided to believe it. As a child, you didn't know, you know, that pigs can't fly. If somebody told you, you might have believed it now, you know more about aviation and pigs and all these things. So you don't believe it, right? Thank you, Stephen Bartlett, for that example. Diary of CEO, great podcast, check it out.

But the question of who am I and confirmation bias is basically your belief center. When you're trying to change a belief, like, I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable, no one likes me. when you're telling that to your brain, your brain's main function is to prove you right. It wants to prove you right because it doesn't like cognitive dissonance. It doesn't like to be wrong because then you have no stable standing. The brain does not want to feel crazy. The brain wants to feel grounded in its reality. And his job is to say, yep, I see the sky is blue.

Yep, I see the leaves are green. Yep, I see this cup of tea in front of me, which margarita will now sip. black tea no sugar no milk amazing so it's there to prove you right so that you have a grounding and a standing position in the world instead of trying to change your beliefs by going yeah maybe i am lovable i don't know i just maybe people do like me ask yourself ask your brain a question that will change your beliefs and this is how you do it so let's say you think you're unlovable You go around saying, I'm unlovable, I'm unlovable. The brain will be like, she thinks she's unlovable.

Let's find evidence. Remember that time her grandma gave her cousin the candy instead of her? Remember that time she didn't get chosen for volleyball? Remember that time? And your brain's like, yep, she's right. She's not lovable. We found all the evidence. Now ask your brain, I'm lovable.

Show me the evidence. And straight away, you might have an opposing thought. No, I'm not. I've never been lovable. Nobody likes me. But even me, and that used to be one of my core beliefs, I suppose because of my upbringing, I didn't have a father in my life. So my brain was like, oh, that must mean, of course, we're not lovable.

That's why he doesn't want to be in our lives. But instead, I go, now as an adult, and I've learned about beliefs and core beliefs and shifting beliefs. And I go, show me evidence that I'm lovable. And my brain goes, yeah, your husband did that for you. He did this for you. He went out of his way that way for you. Your mother, despite your father not wanting to be there, did everything humanly possible to make you thrive and happy and she calls you every day.

And then my brain's like, wait a minute, that means maybe you are lovable and it's a problem with him and not with you. It's a problem with him. Ask yourself the right questions in order to change your core belief. If you're going around saying, I'm ugly, I'm unlovable, I'm ridiculous, I'm stupid. you're stupid, ask yourself, when's that time I was smart? Show me that time I was smart. I am smart. There is evidence that I'm smart.

Your brain will find it because it doesn't like cognitive dissonance. It doesn't like to be wrong in its space and reality. Be delusional. Brainwash yourself. Even if it's not true, wouldn't you rather live in a delusion that you're smart and attractive than not? And now you're thinking, oh, I don't want to be. selfish. I don't want to be, I don't want to be delusional. I want to be realistic about who I am.

Forget it. Throw that in the bin along with your other beliefs. Because you, as somebody, I get this question, what if I become a narcissist? What if I put myself first and I become a narcissist? A narcissist wouldn't even dream to ask that question, wouldn't watch the videos, wouldn't even understand how to prioritize themselves because they already do. It's like telling, I don't know, the color pink to be pink. It wouldn't watch those videos. the fact that you're questioning, oh, how do I, how do I? It's like if you're questioning, if you're a bad parent, you're probably a good one. Trust me. Bad parents don't sit there questioning if they're bad parents. The next step to changing yourself into who you're meant to be

is to keep your promises. That's the true core reality about confidence. Confidence is if I am confident in Samantha, my friend, then I know she's going to be there on time. I'm I'm confident she'll stand up for me if there's an argument. I'm confident that she'll be kind to me. What does confidence mean? When you're confident in someone and you're confident in their reality to show up for you, that means that you trust their reliability. Reliability?

Reliability? Yeah, reliability. And they keep their promises. How do you get good self-esteem and how do you get confidence? Is show up when you say you're going to. Is treat yourself like you treat someone who you love. your dog who always gets their meals on time and you run home to walk, your child who you make sure is nutritionally fed.

And after this, guys, I am going to make myself the green smoothie that I told myself I'm going to make this morning because I told myself that. And I'm going to go make it. I'm feeling lazy. I'm feeling all kinds of lazy. I'm going to go make it because if this was, trust me, if this was for my child and I knew it was good for him, or if this was for my friend, I'd be in that kitchen doing it.

because different people are motivated differently, and I'm not going to lie, I'm motivated by other. So I literally have to keep my promises to myself by motivating myself of what would I do for someone else. And there is nothing wrong with that. Show up like it's for someone you love. Do it through discomfort. If you're feeling selfish, good, push through it. Push through it. Put yourself first and push through it. See who you become in three months. Don't like it? Stop it after three months. Last but not least, my wonderful sexy darling, is you need to learn new skills. You need to put some oomph behind your self-confidence. You want to learn tech.

You want to know graphic design. You want to learn cooking. I want to learn cooking. I am obsessed with cookbooks. Do you know how much I could read cookbooks? Like, it's bizarre and it's wild. You want to learn the gym, as in like, lifting properly and correctly. Invest in it.

Invest in you. invest in new skills? Women say to me, I'm going to stay at home. Mom, I'm going to be boring if I don't work. Yeah, because what he wants to talk to you about is your accounting. Today, I did accounting. Are you crazy? Everyone, no matter if you work somewhere, if you stay at home, needs to always be cultivating new skills in order to become interesting to your friends, people around them. Are you reading? Do you read? Do you even read? It's not about do you even lift, but do you even read? Make yourself busy. Get excited about life. get one. Even if you believe in reincarnation, you're not going to be reincarnated as you and you're

not going to know the people you know. So get excited. This is a privilege and it's a joy. It's a joy. I'm going to just beat that into you and learn something new. Become a valuable. Become somebody when you say that you love yourself. You mean it because you've invested in yourself. What is valuable? What is a high value woman. A high value woman isn't somebody who's like bringing home a $1,000, you know, whatever, $150,000 check. That's what they've made you believe because everything is about industry these days. If I talk to you 300 years ago, it would have been like how many children can you birth. It's always about, you know, what works for society and what's better for society. High value means you put a lot of effort and time into yourself and you raise your literal value.

you're now interesting, you're employable, sure, you're a good mother, you are empathic, you are vibrant, and most of all, you are replenished, because feminine energy is about giving from a well of abundance, not from a dry, crusty well of depletion, where everyone has drunk from, and you're depleted and angry and hungry and all kinds of raccoon in the corner fighting for its life, okay? So those are the eight mind shifts you need to make. Three months, my love. Make them.

Stick to it. And subscribe to my podcast and my channel. Because we are going on a journey of life together. And I'm so happy to have you here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening, for watching. And I'll see you on the next one. Love you lots like jelly tots. Bye.