BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 47: Get Your Power Back

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

Guys, I am a mum of 2 now! Wow! Lets discuss your questions. How to get your power back? How long to stay in the talking phase? And much more.20 feminine energy principles:https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesalesPolarity MasterClass (20 secrets to long lasting attraction & love) :https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/polarity-masterclassAmazon book list:https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenkoBecome Magnetic (Free Ebook):https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/Email me: [e-mail]:IQBAR: 20% off all IQBAR products. Text MARGARITA to 64000.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. I had delusions, illusions of coming onto this podcast with a blowout and incredible makeup and all these things in my postpartum self. But I am here if you're watching this on video. In my real postpartum self, this is eight weeks postpartum. I have had the baby. We are on a new journey. We are here.

We are live. And we are answering questions today. some of these are juicy. These are great questions. I am excited. And baby girl might be joining us. So if you're watching this video, she might join us. She might not. And if you're listening, then hi guys, my loves, welcome. I am so excited to see you, to hear from you. I am feeling good. I am feeling spicy. I am feeling saucy. The thing is, I wanted to be here and come in in my authentic self. My postpartum journey has been very different to my first one. And if you're interested, I will make that postpartum episode. tell me and I will deliver to you what you request. In this one though, I asked you for some questions.

I screenshot some off the top of my head and they are to follow because I want to catch up. I really want to catch up and if you want that postpartum journey, then we will partake in that postpartum journey. But this baby's very different. She's a very different woman than my first child was. And it's different. I am excited to tell you about it. She's eight weeks old as of now. my mom came to visit me. Everything's been going really fast. I'm working on a super secret project that is going to blow your mind. You're going to love it. And that has been taking up all of my time. I am working so much raising two kids as they say, if it is not a challenge, it is not worth it. So I am excited. Let's get on with the first question. Feminine energy practices that have helped you in the last few months.

I presume you mean in the postpartum journey and the feminine energy practices that have helped me in the last few months is knowing that I am woman. I am woman means we are capable of so much. We are capable of incredible things. We're capable of creating life. We are capable of inspiring others. We are capable of so, so much. And the true feminine energy practice that has helped me is just that knowledge. Because right now, everything is at a hundred miles an hour. Everything is fast. Everything is exciting and everything is furious. And I would be lying to you if I said, you know, what I do, as I have this bubble bath and then I put this face mask on, throw that in the garbage and out the window. Sometimes it's time to acknowledge that these times when you feel overwhelmed, especially if you've

got kids and work and everything, know that this is the most needed you will ever be and that you will ever feel. And there is something so beautiful because there is seasons in life. There are seasons in life and you must understand that sometimes feminine energy practice just means acknowledging that you are in that queen and that mother role where everyone is relying on you, everyone is relying on your feedback. Everyone wants a piece of you, essentially. And it can be overwhelming, but it's also so amazing. It's not always about the beautification of life, but more on that in other videos. Thoughts on how much talking should happen in the talking phase before meeting. Baby, the amount of talking that should happen in the talking phase before meeting is the amount

of time you have to spare. Now me? Now me, I don't have the time to spare. I have the children, in the business, the husband, so why I'm even talking to a guy, but me, let's just say I didn't have the husband. I don't have time to spare. So that's the amount of talking that should happen before meeting. I don't have time to liaise with you in these conversations, you know, stroking your ego, checking up on how you are. I don't have time, home slice. But if you have time, if you, Rebecca, have time, I don't know what your name is, but let's call your Rebecca for shits and giggles. If you have time, then entertain the guy. Entertain 20 guys in your messaging back and chats and forwards, but know this. It will deplete your feminine energy. Feminine energy means self-value

value and self-worth in this case. It will deplete it. Why will it deplete it? Simple like that. If he's not asking to meet you, then you're probably someone who he's using to stroke his ego. He's probably got a girlfriend. He's probably got a situation going on. He's probably got 100 situations going on and he's using your attention to make him feel better. But you do you. It's a free world. It's a free country where you live, hopefully. You do what you want to do. Me, I wouldn't want to waste much time on a person who doesn't want to see me in life because you know one thing men want to see you if they want to see you otherwise they're probably you know busy with something else what are you excited about this year regarding the podcast i am listen i started the podcast in

twenty twenty three and it was a journey where i just wanted to meet you guys we're on episode 47 i believe and this episode or 48 anyway we're nearing the 50s we're nearing the 50s my loves and i am sharing my wisdom giving you knowledge and i really love this format but there are some things that are gaps in knowledge or opinion. And I want to know the idea of being her came to me not from the idea of being me because we don't want to be Margarita. I mean, most of us do, but maybe not all of us. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. The idea of it came to me because I realized one thing. I read ages ago that Quentin Tarantino, the filmmaker, said that he just made movies he wanted to see. Now, I just made it a podcast that I'd want to listen to. I want to know how to

be the best version of myself. I want to know how to use my feminine energy. I want to know how to have all the dark psychological secrets and the light psychological secrets to make sure it happen. But most of all, I want to know how women do the thing that I want to do. And I've always found a gap in the fact that I've seen this type of woman or that type of woman, whether she be an everyday woman or a celebrity. I want to know. I want to know how you have five kids and created your business. Can you tell me, can somebody tell me please? Can someone illuminate? Can someone enlighten? And for me, that is the trajectory of the podcast. Being her, it's not just going to be about being Margarita, but it's going to be about women who I find inspiring and what is it that they bring to the table, which is themselves,

yes, ladies, it's themselves, and how they made it happen. And I'm so excited for that. It's going to be maybe different formats. It's going to be conversations and it's going to be, you know, different locations and maybe, you know, a lot, a lot, a lot. Next question. Avoidant with tendency to pornography. why does he only call and doesn't often meet with me? My question is, why are you hung up on an avoidant with a tendency to porn who doesn't want to meet up with you and calls? You're telling me that the requirement to have your attention is to be someone who's avoiding you, wants to look at other naked women, non-consensually, as in these women are not even in his life for real. They are, he's voyuring, he's voyuring, he's viewing them through the media.

of film to masturbate over them and he just wants to call you to get his ego stroked and doesn't want to meet up with you. So you, like men who avoid you, want to see other women naked, pleasure themselves, not meet you, but call you sometimes. That's my question. Everything should be reframed through the eye of you because you are the one who has control over yourself, your life, your tendencies and what you want to be and who you want to be. You asking me why he calls you and doesn't want to meet with you is very simple is because he's not physically interested in meeting with you. He doesn't have the time for that. He is avoidant. Maybe he's not even avoidant. Maybe he's just avoiding you. Let's be harsh about it. We're not everybody's piece of cake. You know, we might be the nicest pie in the world, but not

everybody loves pie. So, listen, honey, you've got to ask yourself why that is their requirement to get into your see at your table. I'm not sure why, but you need to ask yourself that question. Next question. Guy I'm seeing comes from a family of divorce all around. Can this negatively impact on him wanting to settle. I'll tell you like this. I come from a family of divorce and it impacted me in the way that I became interested in what it is to have family. It became something I highly value and it became something I strive for. In fact, every serious boyfriend I've ever had came from a family without me even planning this, without me even trying for this, without me even knowing. But he always came from a family of parents that were together and a big family. I think it's something I was attracted to, like

finding out how it works. So children of divorce aren't necessarily ones who will also divorce and don't believe in marriage. There are guys who are like, well, my parents got divorced so I don't believe in marriage. It doesn't work. And that's fine. But I would say, talk to the guy, see what he says. Listen to what he says. People tell you who they are, believe them. So if he's there going, I don't believe in marriage because my parents got divorced, cool. We're not going to convince you, Drake, Derek, John. But if he says, look, it's something I'm so interested in because my father left, it can make some of the best men out there. This episode is brought to you by IQ bar.

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It's a great way to try all IQ bars. The IQ bars are gluten-free, dairy-free, so free GMOs and keto and paleo-friendly. So, yeah, whether you're running errands like me, or running a marathon, try these out. Refuel Smarter with IQ Bar's Ultimate Sampler Pack. That's seven bars, seven IQ bars, four IQ mixed sticks, and four IQ Joey sticks. And now our special podcast listeners get 20% off all IQ bar products. Plus, get free shipping to get your 20% off. Just text Margarita, my name, to 64,000.

That's 64,000. Get your discount by texting M-A-R-G-R-R-A-R-R-A-R-A. I-T-A-Margarita to 64,000. That's Margarita to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See the terms for details. Next question. Can men that don't desire 100% to get married change their mind? Yes, people can change their mind, but I will say this. I have seen men turn on their heel and get married once they meet their dream girl. So if he's saying to you that he doesn't want to get married, and that he doesn't desire to get married. It's either he really doesn't believe in marriage and why are we in the camp of changing people's minds? We are not here trying to, you know, sell a pyramid scheme.

Just leave him be. He doesn't believe in marriage. He doesn't have the same values as you. Write that down your diary of things that you don't match on. And maybe you want to still keep talking to him, but it's in the category of things you don't match on. Or you're not his dream girl and he doesn't have the guts to tell you that. Or kind of the politeness.

Like it's not the polite thing to say, is it? So he doesn't want to tell you that and hurt your feelings. You've not inspired him to want to marry you and lock you down. So he's just saying that he doesn't believe in marriage. Now, do you want to change his mind and make yourself change? I did an interview this morning for a publication that talked about how to believe that you're good looking and have high value and all that stuff. And one of the points I made, and I think it's applicable in this case, is that you should be with a man who thinks you're absolutely the epitome of gorgeousness, of gorgeous. Like, I'm not everyone's, you know, a piece of cake, pie, whatever it is.

Like, I'm not the ripest peach in the world. But for some reason, my husband likes my type. I don't know what it is. Maybe he likes, I don't know, whatever it is I am. I'm not everyone's type. Not everybody is everybody's type. But the point is you should find somebody who, whose type you are, whose dream girl, you are, your humor, your looks, your body, your typology.

My husband's not everybody's type. But I love a mixed king, you know? That's my preference. When somebody's a mix of two ethnicities, I'm like, wow, you're so fascinating looking. Look at you with your unique self. So maybe that's just my type. Everyone's got their own type. So listen, don't change his mind.

He or either not his type or you're working against someone's typology and it's just not worth it. Next question. Tips for Keeping Attraction and Long-Term Partners. Now, I have a whole course for this, my love. I have a whole masterclass. It's called The Polarity Masterclass or keep him obsessed with you, make him obsessed with you. It's on Margarita Nazarenko.com. I've got it along with that, oh, hello, baby girl.

She is stirring. Check it out. There is 20 points in there in how to keep attraction live in a long-term partnership. It's always fascinated me because I've always felt like we get told about how to find a partner. We get told about how to find a guy. We get talked into this and that and the other, but nobody talks about what happens after the wedding bells. Like, I want to keep the man that is attracted to me, interested in me forever. Like, I want that security.

I want excitement. want that joy. Check out that masterclass. It's so useful and there's 20 whole principles in there on how to make that happen. But fundamentally, I'll tell you one now. And that is to have boundaries. Men really value women with boundaries because they see them as valuable. They see them as having high value. That is how the male brain translates women's value. So it's not about how much you can achieve or how much you can do, but it's not the doingness. It's the beingness of your femininity. You have to be feminine and you have to be totally in your being as opposed to in your doing. You're not going to prove to him that you're worth amazing things by doing.

You're going to prove to him that you're worth amazing things by being. So if you are deep into being you, having boundaries, knowing what you want in life, that's ultimate attraction and also polarity. But it's all in the polarity master class. Check that out. How to deal with bullies is the next question. I think the way to deal with bullies and there's a study that shows, and this is applicable to me, not as an adult, but not. it's more of a question that is applicable to children and teenagers because that is a time when human beings love to bully. It's like how they work out their muscle. I don't know why people

do it. And obviously, this whole notion of like, if somebody's, you know, a bully, it must mean they're bullied at school at home. I don't care. If they are hurting you, you can empathize with them and understand what's going on with them at home until the cows come home, but it's still affecting you. So how do you deal with it? The understanding is this. This is the study and it shows that bullies will target a few people and they will settle on the one that they want to bully by the person that reacts. In my content, I often talk about the fact that you should act and not react. You should be deeply centered into who you are. I don't care what you look like. I don't care who you are, what you act like, what your beliefs are. You should be deeply rooted in your

center. If you react to a bully, they think of that as bingo. It's like when they smell blood. Sense of humor is the best thing that I have found that works on bullies. And they turn away from you. If you have that self-deprecating sense of humor, if it's not fun, they don't see a reaction from you, then it's the best thing ever. Say you walk, let's use an adult example, intern office. And you're wearing a certain skirt. And the bully goes, oh my God, that skirt, really? You thought that looks nice on you?

I don't know what bullies say, whatever they say. And you turn around and you go, yes, Sarah, I wore it just for you. You like it? And she might say something sarky and funny back. But the point is that you're owning whatever it is, she said. You're not scurrying off. You're not changing your skirt. You're not doing that.

Next time you see her, you wear that skirt again. And you say, hey, Sarah, this one's just for you. I know you love the skirt. You need to have humor about it. And also understand that sometimes people might not actually be bullying you. There might be their sense of humor. They might be socially awkward. Don't react to people so much.

Act. Be in your center. Be who you are. I know it's not easy. And I know it's anxiety inducing when somebody's always got a target on your back. But try and have a sense of humor and not react. because that's the way forward. How do I gain respect again from my husband?

As we said, boundaries. A woman's value is measured by the amount of times she can confidently say no, even in a marriage, especially in a marriage from your husband. If you're running around doing everything for everybody else, do you want to come in my video, baby? My daughter is stirring. I think she wants to say hi to you. I'll get you after answer this question.

Wait, kitten. With your husband, the more you can say no from your solar plexus, from your authenticity, from your reality, the more he will respect you. If you're running around like a crazy headless chicken, doing everything for everyone, and then you're depleted and destroyed and a dormat. And then at the end, you are that rat in the corner that we love to talk about, that ugly rat in the corner who's hissing like, yeah, I do everything for everyone. No one's going to respect you.

No one's going to love you. And the way you get respect is by forming boundaries and saying no. And at first, everyone's going to cry about it. then they're going to be like, she's a queen. We love her because nobody wants your depleted, tired self, not even your children. That's the sad thing. You can kill yourself, doing everything for everyone, but not even your kids will want you in the end. They'll be like, oh yeah, you know when people talk about their mom's like, oh yeah, my dad is this.

My dad is amazing. My dad can build a car from a tin can. I don't know. And with their mother, they're like, oh yeah, my mom was just a mom. My mom was just her mom. No one appreciates it. So look after you. Next question is, should you tell a guy your part?

past. A guy? No. Your long-term partner and husband, if it comes up in conversation that is relevant, yes, but you don't owe a guy your past. You don't owe a guy, and that's the operative word in this question, your past. Because a guy does not deserve to know your inner being. Because you might be dating and talking to a few guys, and they don't all deserve it, especially if somebody has hurt you, and this is part of strategies that you need to deploy your feminine wisdom on. If someone has hurt you mistreated you, and I made this mistake in the past, and you feel that you telling them, oh, you know, I was cheated on and, you know, he was so mean to me, is going to make the future person know your vulnerabilities and not treat you that way. You're very, very mistaken. In fact,

sadly, human and especially male nature is he will think, well, if this man treated her like this, I don't know her yet, but it must mean that she's not very valuable to men in general, and his bias will shift. I hate that, but that's what happens. So leave it for the people who, have your best interests, family, long-term relationships where you want to connect and communicate on that, and don't tell a guy your past. What to say when he comes back after ghosting you, but you want a future with him? I'm going to answer this question without going into the whole palaba of you shouldn't be with a man who's ghosted you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, because you asked me a direct question and I'm a direct gal, so I'm going to be direct with you. You want him. It's not my prerogative of why you want him, you want him, you want him, he's ghosted you. The way to react to a man who's ghosted you, but you want him is to act like the ghosting, to act.

like in the dating stages. This is, I'm presuming in the dating stages, because if a man is your partner and he's ghosting you, then I don't even know why you want him. But in the dating stages, he's ghosted you. He was unsure. He was unsure and he went away, but now he came back and now he wants to try it with you, right? So he's contacted you. The way to react to a person who's contacted you after ghosting is to not put the emotional labor onto him, is to let him know that your world does not revolve around him. So if he calls and you're all like, Mm-hmm, look, it's shown up again. Don't think I would hear from you.

Do you think it's appropriate to just contact a person suddenly after having not contacted them? Blah, blab, blib, blib, blib, blah. You have shown number one that you're bothered, which you might be, but this is not the way to get him interested in you. You have shown him that you are not fun to talk to, which is not the way to get him back. But you said you want him. So what you do is, oh, hi, John. Oh, yeah, good to hear from you. How have you been?

Hmm. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you've been through that? Oh my God, me and Rebecca, we got the most amazing latte at this cafe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was so good. You are easy, breezy, co-girl cosmetics. You're fun to talk to. You've shown him that he does not mean that much to you in his ghosting behaviors because he is not the pinnacle and the centerfold of your life.

However, if this person becomes a more permanent feature of your life and he keeps ghosting, you do say, without berating him, without being annoying, because apparently you want to be with him and that's your choice. You do say, hey, John, you know how you blow hot and cold? that's cute, but it's not going to work for me in the long run. So you do you, you don't have to change from me. But I'm just letting you know that it's not something I find that hot. So I might not stick around, but you do you.

You can absolutely say that. But a lot of times what women deem is ghosting is a very natural phase two of a relationship and that is the unsure phase that men experience. They're all crazy about you and then suddenly they ghost. And a lot of women lose relationships with men in this stage because they go where have you been. They berate them. They take away their freedom. him. And the thing you need to understand is at the beginning, you don't own anybody and nobody owes you

anything. So if he's come back after talking to you and you like him enough, talk to him. Talk to him, sure. People only owe you something once you have formed and created a relationship. In the beginning, you're just experiencing each other. Next question. What can you say on Matt and Abby's podcast where Abby asked her husband if he feels different after she's had a baby down there. If you guys haven't seen this is very interesting let me get this crying kitten and I will address it here's my sweetest girl here's my chunky monkey here's my little chunky monkey for those who you are not watching oh my goodness for those who are not watching and you are missing out on a cheeky cute chunky monkey so go on my YouTube channel but for those who are watching here she is

anyway she's just going to sit on my lap and maybe have a cuddle okay let's have a cuddle baby Well, I finish answering this incredible question about Matt and Abby. If you guys have not seen this part of the podcast, it's where a woman asks her husband how it feels down there after she's had kids. Now, listen, I've had two C-sections, so I am not privy to feelings down there and all that stuff. But I will tell you something. As a woman in your feminine, don't ask men questions that are going to hurt your feelings. If you feel that there's a possibility that he might answer honestly. And when he answers, it's obvious that it did feel different down the same.

there or there was something he wasn't saying and everybody thought that it was hurtful. He was trying to be honest. It's a narrow plank to walk for a man. It's not easy because what he's trying to do is be honest like we told in our culture to be, but at the same time, he's trying to not hurt his wife's feelings. And the reality is, you might get hurt if you ask for the truth. So I wouldn't be asking questions you don't want to know the answer to. Guys, I have so many more questions, but I'm going to leave you on this note and I can't wait to catch up soon. And maybe we'll do an episode too with questions and maybe postpartum questions. Let me know what you want to hear and I will speak to you on the next one. Love you lots like jelly thoughts. Bye. Please note that this episode

may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.