BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 52: My 8 Principles To Becoming Successful

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

LINKS:Buy MY BOOK:https://snipfeed.co/margaritanazarenko20 feminine energy principles: https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesalesPolarity MasterClass (20 secrets to long lasting attraction & love) : https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/polarity-masterclassAmazon book list:https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenkoBecome Magnetic (Free Ebook): https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/Email me: [e-mail]:Osea: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code BEINGHER at OSEAMalibu.comDreamland Baby: Go to dreamlandbabyco.com and enter my code BEINGHER at checkout to receive 20% off sitewide + free shipping. This offer is for new and existing customers!Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Dear Media IRL is back, and we're showing up bigger, better, and louder than ever. Join us on May 4th in Austin, Texas for the ultimate live podcasting experience. Watch and learn from your favorite dear media hosts as they bring their insightful discussions from your headphones to the stage. Get ready to be inspired, entertained, and watch audio get a makeover. Tickets are on sale now at Dear Media. media.com slash IRL. See you on May 4th in Austin, Texas. Hello, gorgeous human. Today we're going to talk about how to achieve anything you want.

We are going to talk about how to achieve anything you want. Now, I compiled a list of real things that made pivotal change in my level of achievement. And if you are new to this content to this channel, you will not know that a lot of things I talk about are to do with feminine energy. and, you know, achieving things as a woman and as a mum at the same time and all that good stuff. Not necessarily a mum, just a modern woman in this world. So without further ado, let's get into it. The first and foremost thing that you need to do in order to achieve anything you want is pre-order my book. I'm joking, but do pre-order my book.

It's just gone on pre-sale. I completely forgot to tell you in all the previous episodes. My book, The New Rules, has just gone on pre-order. I'll put the links in everywhere you can find links on whatever way you're watching or listening to this. go and check it out. It's going to be available. It is available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold, but yeah, it's on pre-order. Anyway, first rule is take ownership. Things that have happened to you might not be your fault. Things that have happened to you via somebody else doing it to you might not be your fault. Things like things not going well in your life, your parents not being there for you,

you not being born in the country that you wish you were born on might not be your fault, but you need to think of them as of your making. Sometimes, I look at, look into esoteric teachings and it says that everything's of your making, you are the person that attracted this, that and the other thing to happen to you. And the obvious question is how could one have attracted these terrible or seemingly terrible things to have happened to them? You want to say that, no, you didn't. You didn't make that happen. But the truth is, if you are in a place where you can watch this video and you are able to be thinking of things of like how to make your life successful as a human being, the more useful approach

for you to take is to believe that you cause things to happen in your life because the more you believe you've caused things to happen in your life, the more you can believe that you can uncause those things also, i.e., you feel more empowered, you feel more powerful in order to take change and take action. And it might not be that you caused your parents' divorce for example, right? But it might be the fact that you feel that your soul chose your parents and therefore you chose this experience. I choose to take ownership of everything. For example, for me, I choose to believe that somehow, as esoteric as this is, my soul chose, my father, who isn't in my life, because it's made me a more strong person. It's made me a stronger woman.

It's made me somebody who's had to consider men in a different way. It's made me somebody who's able to make this type of content. It's made me somebody who has had to delve into these things. I would not be who I am had that not happened. It also allowed me to see my own mother's strengths. It also allowed me to see how powerful women can be. Why is this fringe always in my face? Get away.

If you're watching this, you'll see. I keep trying to flip it off my eyes. But, you know, it's just not doing what it's meant to be doing. But I take ownership of that because I'm the one who blowdry my hair. So if you want to be more progressive and successful in your life, you must take radical ownership of everything in your life, to the point of delusion, to the point of thinking that you've caused things to happen, to the point of thinking that you chose this soul to come into this existence because then your mind shifts into perspectives in which you can take more powerful

decisions and shift your life. If you live in a victim mentality and if you live in a reality where things have happened to you and things have happened as opposed to happening for you, it's a very disempowering thing to believe. Number two is you need to have a bigger why than your excuse. It's the same thing as the reason you're doing something needs to be bigger than the reason that you are avoiding it. And sometimes success does not occur in your life because you are in a metaphorical boat. Let's just say I'm sitting in a boat right now. And I am rowing in one direction this way. And, but my anchor is still in the water down in the ground. And I'm rowing and I'm not getting anywhere. And I'm thinking, why am I not getting anywhere? That is the resistance. What is the

resistance? You need to figure out your blocks. How do you figure out your blocks? You need to sit down with yourself. Even things like weight have a purpose that's this they serve. For example, if you are overweight, let's just use that as an example. There is a purpose that it serves. It might make you feel warm and protected. It might make you feel like you're not attracting unwanted attention sexually from people because you might not feel as attractive at that way. You might feel more maternal and safe because it feels like motherly to be at a at a bigger weight because your mom might have been that way. It could be your body's way of keeping you insulated because maybe at a certain point you had poverty in your life and you couldn't always eat what you wanted.

There are so many psychological things that keep you anchored into what you don't want. So you need to have a bigger why, a bigger trajectory of where you're going that is bigger than your resistance and your excuses. For example, I'll give you a really easy one in my life. When I had children, a lot of people said that if you have children, you will not be able to, you know, do this, that and the other one and be successful. The only time my businesses have started to make a revenue worthy of my noticing. I know that sounds really weird, but I don't want to give a numerical number to it because

it's all subjective and objective. I don't know which one it is subjective or objective. Anyway, it's all in the eye of the beholder according to how people feel how much money is money. But I only started to make a revenue that I was proud of after having children. Why? Because my why got bigger than my excuse. For me personally, my personal self-story is that now I've got something to prove to someone, i.e. my children. I am somebody who gets motivated by doing things for others than for myself. And there's nothing wrong with that. You just need to know what your motivation is. You cannot say, oh, well, I'm motivated by others. I need to become more about myself. You can't. You're already programmed a certain way from childhood unless you really do reprogramming me. I am programmed to

succeed for other people. I'm that type of person. And it's not to say I'm selfless. I am selfish in that. It makes me feel good to do things for other people. It makes me feel good that my kids, I can now buy them whatever I want within reason, within reason. I am a strict mother. Don't you worry? No, I'm joking. I'm really not. My mom's love language to me was gift giving. So, hey, it's my gift love language as well. So the point being, my love is that if your why is bigger than your excuse, you will move mountains. My why to do things for my children to show them it can be done. Now I have a daughter. My why is even bigger. Is much bigger than my excuses. Before having children, I was chilling a little bit. I was doing things because I felt like doing them.

you know, I studied life coaching or I did modeling or I did this one or the other one at a leisurely pace. As soon as I had my children, my brain switched on, something switched on where I was like, I need to appear more in the world as a person I want to be. And it's not that I started pushing more. It's not like a masculine energy kind of pushing and thrive and kind of really pushing it. It's more of a reason. And that gives women a lot of quality to what they can create. When a woman has a big reason, mountains move.

Same with men. I know about men. Men will not do anything unless they have to. And if they have to, they will do anything. Listen that again. A man will not do anything unless he has to. And if he has to, he will do anything. Write that down for yourselves.

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Have your little skincare moment. Have your little wellness, being her, Uji, woman moment, get in it. Head to Osea, the Malibu.com and use code being her for 10% off. Thanks guys. And let's get back to the episode. Number three, practical solution. Think of three words of the year. For me, it's impact, presence and growth.

Presence why? Because I've got two small children. I know because I watch TikTok and I watch Instagram Reels. They're in the blink of an eye. Your children will grow up and you won't even know that they've grown up and enjoy your time. I went to the doctor's office with my daughter the other day and a woman stopped me and she was like I would give anything my whole entire life to just go back to my child being young again. It is easy to feel overwhelmed in the moment, but it is hard to deploy presence and I am present. That is my one of my words. Another one is impact because that encompasses, that kind of envelops everything that I want to do when it comes to my masterclasses on Margarise Nazarenda.com, if you haven't seen them, the book that has just come out for pre-order.

I want to make an impact on how you live your life. These videos I make, everything I do is not necessarily to influence or inspire, hence the word influencer, but it's to be impactful in some way, even if you don't agree with it, I want to make an impact in how you think or you observe something. Otherwise, it's not, neither desired nor required, honey. And the third word for me is growth. Growth? Why growth, Margarita? Do you mean growth of your followers? No, I actually don't care for the first time ever.

Ironically, I cared more when my followers didn't grow. And now that they're growing, I don't even check. Funny that about life, isn't it, everybody? Funny that. The point of growth is personal growth. So in order to always grow as a person, in order to always develop as a person, to do better and get better in all the ways that you possibly can, you need to have growth. So growth being the third one, because I think for me, that is most inspiring at the moment.

I am in my 30s. The concept of aging is different to growing. So growth for me in my businesses, the growth of my children, the growth of myself, the growth of who I want to be is probably the most important. So if you think of three words that are pivotal for you and your year as opposed to goals, I think that really denotes to the amount of success you can have. So now that we've got your mind figured out and your anchors unanchored and the trajectory all figured out, I want you to write down five goals for the year. Let's say you want to have, I'm going to use myself as an example because I'm me. So that's the example we have. Number one, I want to create a podcast that's worth listening to. Number two, I want to probably create a course that really moves the needle into

how you appear in this life as a woman because that fascinates me. Number three, I want to raise great children. Number four, it might be friendships, so on and so forth. I'll just use the first three examples. So write down those five goals, break them down into actionable steps because goals mean nothing unless they're actionable steps. So let's just take this podcast for an example. I want to create a meaningful podcast. Cool, Margarita. That's great. What does that mean? It means I need to podcast once every week for a year, right? I think this is podcast 52. That means I have podcast every day for a year for four. How many weeks are there? in a year. You guys know better than me. I've got no idea. I can't even count five. So I need to podcast every week. How do I do that? What's an actionable step? Well, I need to figure out how to do it. Cool, I've got a microphone. But more actionable is I need to think of weekly themes. I need to be able to write down in a diary or in a book, themes weekly for what I'm going to be talking about, right? So if you're going to be doing a podcast, you're going to write those themes. You are going to research a microphone, tiny, tiny steps. What you then need to do is get your journal, your diary,

and write down every day of the week something that moves the needle towards your goal. Even on a day that you don't feel like doing something hugely actionable, you can at least go and research a microphone that you might be able to use. You can research a local podcast studio. You can even write down, I'm going to listen to podcasts, which are great and that are going to inspire me into creating a podcast I want to create. When you have those five goals and each of those five goals have an actionable step on every day of the week, you are going to move. towards where you want to go, whether you like it or not. Every single day, for 365 days, you're going to be moving towards where you want to go. This dog is barking. He's moving towards

where he wants to go. We've got no choice. You know what I'm saying? Next thing I want to say about success is realizing you can have it all, but not at the same time. I think as a woman, we're conditioned to slightly get overwhelmed in this middle period of our lives and get kind of underwhelmed at the beginning and the end. You're ridiculously bored as a child. And, And then after your 50s, women go through this feeling. I'm not telling you because I'm over 50. I'm telling you because they write to me and they tell me this. They go through this lull of being like, what am I around for? How do I appear at work? How do I appear for my children? You know, I've got more time. How do I date? It's a lot of these questions that come up. I just did a podcast and an episode here about aging as a high value woman and they found it useful.

So go and watch that if you want to or listen to that if you're listening on a podcast. But I think you need to understand that you can have it all, but not at the same time. We are pressured to do everything between this like 10 to 15 year period in the middle of our lives. And I'm here to say, sorry, baby, you can't. And you need to prioritize some things. Me, I love, you know, I design a handbag back in the day, especially before I had kids. But you need to understand that if you want to wear a heel in that designer handbag, some other things got a given sacrifice.

Like, for example, right now, all I want to know about is how to move the needle with work with my children and family, right? with my book or how I appear in the world when it comes to that, okay? Why do I wear a black t-shirt every day? Like, I'm Steve Jobs. It's not because I'm Steve Jobs. Contrary to our people to believe, I'm not Steve Jobs. It's because it allows me to not make a decision in my life. I want to be able to run around with my kid.

I want to still look if I want to. And of course I'll wear a dress if I go up. But on the every day, I'm wearing a black t-shirt and Lulu Lemon shorts, okay? That is what I'm wearing. That is what I'm doing. Why? Because I have to take some decisions out of my. my life, you can have it all, but not at the same time. If right now you're at a period in your life

or before you've had children or if your children have moved out, you might have time for beautification and things like that. You need to feel good at the stage you're in and stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything at the same time. It is not realistic or practical. You guys know I've been banging on about Dreamland Baby, who's the sponsor of this episode, but honestly, I did an error, I did a rookie error. I did not use the weighted sleep sack and I put my daughter without it. I decided she's grown enough. She's going to use a blanket now. She is three months old. Nope. Biggest error of my life. She was up every 1.5 hours. I went straight back into using the product, which gives her like that cozy, weighted feeling, allows her to sleep through the night.

And she did a longer stretch. I'm not going to tell you how long because I don't want to drinks myself. But let me tell you, it was a longer stretch by far. And I want you guys to try it. If you've got a little one at home. The founder had the same issue in 1918 when her son Luke was six months old and was waking up all the time. She was completely exhausted so she knows that when she made the dream-weighted sleep sack, that it was going to solve her problem. She basically threw a little blanket over her son that was a little bit weighted and it gave him that cozy feeling and I've experienced the same with my children. I would love you guys to try it if you want to. Go to dreamlandbabyco and enter the code being her at checkout and receive 20% off sidewide and free shipping.

This offer is for new and existing customers, so you can definitely try it out. It will give deeper sleep to your baby, better sleep. The materials are great. They're soft, two-way zipper. It's an amazing product. Try it out. And let me know what you think. Let's get back to the episode.

Next is something a little bit ascetic. know that what is what you are seeking is also seeking you. So know that what you are seeking is also seeking you. Things that flow have a tendency to go well in your life. I know that's a really weird thing to say, but in the past, I've had careers which like I mentioned in the previous anchoring, you know, goal situation that if you do not flow into a situation easily, it might be because you have a blocks yourself. You might be blocking yourself from succeeding. For example, when I studied acting, I knew that if I wanted to get to the place I wanted to be with acting, and that means like Hollywood and go out and make a name for myself, I'd have to put myself in a position that I necessarily wasn't comfortable with, but I wasn't admitting that to myself psychologically. I didn't want to go to Hollywood and live in potential squalor and try and make it. I came from a background where I was an immigrant as a child. I didn't want to immigrate again as a child, as a, you know, a 20 year old. I didn't want to do it rough. I didn't want that. I wanted some comfort in my life. I wanted to have control, maybe. I wanted to start my own business. I wanted to have some kind of comforts around myself. And I really did not

want to move to Hollywood, have to go to castings, try and get a job. I really didn't want that energy. And instead of admitting that to myself, I just procrastinated on doing that. If you can admit that what you are seeking is also seeking you, that the energies need to align, that you need to align with the goals, you will go a lot further. The next point, I don't know what number we're on, but it's very important. Start before you're ready. Launch and adjust. It will never be perfect. The timing will never be right. You will never be as young as you are right now. You need to start today. You are never going to create the most ideal thing. You are never going to do everything perfectly. You are never going to create the perfect website. You are never going to write the book exactly how you want it. You are never

going to be ready for children. Honey, if you want children and you're waiting to get ready, don't, you're never going to get ready. Just do it. I know it sounds radical, but you need to just start things. You just need to launch. You just need to be able to throw caution to the wind a little bit. Planning, planning, planning is what we're always taught to do as women. And I don't know how much you can plan. You need to action and then adjust because you are going to see a lot of times if you do not know what your passion is in life and what you're meant to be doing. This is the piece of advice. Ready, get a pen and paper. Try everything for six months. Because if it's not, not for you, you'll get sick of it. Next is don't tell people what you are planning because you're giving

yourself the fake notion of having achieved it. It's not about the evil eye. It's not about people are not going to, you know, not going to be happy for you and then it's not going to happen. It's the fact that your brain psychologically, when you tell everybody you're going to buy a pony, they've already said, oh my God, that's amazing. That's so great for you. You are going to buy a pony. And then you don't even need to go and buy that pony because everyone's already patted you on the back about buying that pony, okay? So instead of telling everybody, what you need to do instead is tell nobody and buy that pony so that you can get that reward and them noticing what you have done once you have actually done it. So stop speaking about it. I only announced my book when it

was available for pre-order. Do you know how much I want to tell you for a year that I've written a book, that I'm writing a book? People are like, how are you? And I'm like, I'm writing a book. Do you know what writing a book means. It means like physically detaining yourself from doing anything else that you might want to do and forcing yourself to write and making yourself sound coherent and then realizing it's amazing really by it because you will love it. But it's an obstacle. Next is careful who you take advice from, what they're advising you, deduce how it benefits them and how does that advice serve that person. A strange but cruel thing about that. life is that people are all self-serving in a way. You need to only take advice from people

whose benefits will align with yours. Like if it's your mother and she never wants you to leave home, she will probably advise you to stay small. She should not become the person you want to be because it's not going to serve her. Do you understand what I'm saying? That even if the person might have the best intentions, they might want you to stay in a certain space, they might want you safe. It might be a good intention. It might be your father who doesn't want you to go to a certain college because he doesn't think it's going to be safe for you to be out there in the world, his little girl. Careful who you take advice from. Also, the majority of people are unhealthy, overweight, don't know what to do in their life, make a below a salary that you would want to have.

This is not my bias. This is written in medical papers that most people are overweight in the first world. And we take advice from most people. So if you take advice from most people, you will become most people, which is below a certain salary and overweight and unhappy. So careful who you take advice from, even me. Only take advice from. Only take advice. take my advice if you want to have a similar lifestyle to me. And last but not least, delegate. No one built Rome by themselves and no one built Rome in a day. Take the things that give you least number one joy and take the things you are least good at and delegate them. Growing up, my mum used to have several jobs because she was a single parent when she moved to England trying to make ends meet.

And she managed to find a way to have someone help us clean the home. I'm not saying that you need to have someone help you clean the home. But what I'm saying is what gives you joy, what sparks that joy and ways to delegate is what you need to do in order to progress in life and become successful. Even in a business, if you are not good at the back end of finances or if you're not good at writing content, if you want to create content, you need to delegate. Simple like that. Thanks for listening. Love you lots like jelly tots. And I'll see you on the next one. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.