BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 60: How to Have Him Obsessed After the First Date & Why Men Ghost.

Episode Date: May 13, 2024

Buy MY BOOK:https://snipfeed.co/margaritanazarenko20 feminine energy principles:https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/20femininesalesPolarity MasterClass (20 secrets to long lasting attraction & love) :https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/polarity-masterclassAmazon book list:https://www.amazon.com/shop/margaritanazarenkoBecome Magnetic (Free Ebook):https://www.margaritanazarenko.com/Email me: [e-mail]:Fatty 15: Fatty 15 is on a mission to replenish your C15 levels and restore your long-term health. You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription Starter Kit by going to fatty15.com/BEINGHER and using code BEINGHER at checkout.Cozy Earth: Go to CozyEarth.com and enter my promo code BEINGHER at checkout for up to 35% off.Seed: Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGHER and use code 25BEINGHER to get 25% off your first month.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hello, gorgeous, sexy human. Today we're going to be talking about a double entendre. We're going to be talking about why he suddenly disappeared after dating. Because when we talk about ghosting, a lot of people say, oh, we've been in a relationship for so long, but this one specifically is going to be about him ghosting suddenly after just a few dates. He was so into you.

Now he's not what happened. And the second part of this is going to be about how to make sure that you put your best foot forward that you are enigmatic, magnetic, incredible when you do go on that date. So that is what we're going to be talking about. Before we start, thank you to the sponsors of this podcast. I'm going to try and group them together, maybe between the two segments, so that you guys can know timestamps and go through them. Or I would appreciate if you listen to them because the three that I've got on this podcast are my top, top, top favorites. One is for children. One is for you. And the other one is even more for you. So yes, my loves, this episode is sponsored by Fatty 15. It's a supplement that I have

been taking and have been obsessed with. I'm excited to share it with you. You know that it's one of the episodes I have already had the founder on, Dr. Stephanie Van Watson, who as an incredible scientist and has worked in the U.S. Navy to look after aging dolphins, where she discovered C-15, the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in 90 years. And is your girl taking it? Yes, she is. I take it every day. It is more stable, three times more stable, in fact, than omega-3s and fish oils, which is a really important thing to take. So if you take those, take C-15 instead. Faty-15 is pure. It is powered by C-15, which is the only ingredient. It hasn't got a mix of all rubbish inside. It is just C-15. It helps you with cellular turnover. It boost mitochondrial energy output. It activates pathways in the body that help regulate sleep, mood, natural repairs. If you're a new

mom or you're a business owner like me, this is going to be right up your alley because it helps you just run your body better. Fatty 15 is on a mission to replenish your C-15 levels and restore your long-term health. You get an additional 15% off, then 90-day subscription starts a get by going to fatty15.com slash being her and using code being her at checkout. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't play around with my sleep. You know that I track it. You know that I make sure I get enough despite having a five-month-old. And the reason I don't play around with it is because I've got young children and I run a business and I have a husband and I have got all these things that need attention and care, even my friends. That is why I love my sponsor, Cozy Earth. They have the

most beautiful, luxurious, comfortable sheets and everything to do with the bedroom. I'm going to tell you the code now. It's being her for 35% off on anything cozyEarth.com. The bedding is temperature regulated, as in it regulates to your body. Cozy Earth also have loungewear and pajamas, and I went on a spree trying to find amazing pajamas when I knew I was having my baby from having my previous child, you just know that you want to be comfortable, cozy, beautiful in that postpartum experience. And Cozy Earth has you covered. It has the best materials, including viscose, which is a form of bamboo. All products come with a 100-night sleep trial and a 10-year warranty, which is incredible. Again, the promo code being her for 35% off on cozyEarth.com.

It means that you can try their loungeware, you can try their bedding, you can try it all. I love the colors they have in their sheets. When I put that on my bed, I feel both luxurious and I feel incredible using it. So elevate your sleeping experience and use Cozy Earth. Again, save up to 35% off on Cozy Earth, loungewear, pajamas, bedding, bath towels, and more. Fall in love with everyday luxury at Cozy Earth. Go to cozy earth.com and enter my promo code, being her, at checkout for up to 35% off. And a lot of you have been sending me your beds and your coziness.

And I'm loving it. Let's begin. Why does he disappear at the beginning stages after a few dates? Now, a lot of us ladies, we attach very quickly and we see men through rose-tinted glasses, okay? We don't understand the real experience. Do you not think my DMs are not filled with you, beautiful souls telling me, I don't know what happened, but it was all going so well, but something happened, something is off, something is this, something is that you might not be seeing the reality. But in this one, I'm going to tell you eight points of if you did see the reality, what else that you could not have foreseen that could have happened, okay? You've went on three dates, you've gone on two dates, you've gone on one date. Let's be honest. First, number one reason that he could have just disappeared out of your life are. after, apparently having had a great time with you, is you slept with him.

Amanda, I told you, don't sleep with him, but you did it. You don't care what Margarita says because you think margarita is just telling you garbage, rubbish, caca, because you think I'm telling you because I don't believe in, like, female emancipation, that I don't believe, you know, in feminism or something like that. No, the reason I'm telling you not to sleep with him is not just for the reasons that it lowers your value, which it does. And if you haven't heard me talk about that, I'm sure you can hear me talk about that all over TikTok or all over my other videos, but at the basic intrinsic level, when you sleep with someone

before you've got a mutual attachment, you are risking running into headfirst any sort of ego problem that the man might have around his sexuality. Because let's be frank. The sexual experience usually goes well or badly according to his performance. We don't have the same weight as women in today's world and society that a man would hold when a man would hold when a it comes to a sexual experience. He's the one that has to, quote, perform, right? So if you've met him, and it's the second date and you've slept with him already, and we've already moved aside all the stuff that we've talked about when it comes to, you're not sleeping with people that you don't know, and not sleeping with randoms, and the fact that you will devalue yourself in your head,

therefore signaling to him that you've devalued yourself and lowering your value, it's not about any kind of patriarchal thing. It's just genuinely, if you put yourself on a plate for everybody, you feel less than eventually, because none of them have chosen you as. as a long-term partner. Anyway, back to what we're talking about. That aside, if you have slept with him and in the first day or two, and you don't know him yet, and he has performed in a way that he does not see fit, fitting his ego, you were not in awe and amazed. Maybe it wasn't like how he imagined it to be. He is going to avoid you because he does not want to see through your eyes that he is less than than what he imagined. Now, if you'd slept with him three months in and you'd known each other more as

people and you had a mutual attachment and he was into you already. It creates more room and time and excuses for how he might have not performed in a way that he wanted. A lot of this is tied to his ego and you might think everything's gone well and everything was magic and romantic and then you slept with him and he bounced because that's all he wanted. And yes, that might be it. Maybe he bounced because that's all he wanted. But sometimes you have tapped on that little door of his ego whereby you've triggered it and you might be saying right now, well, I didn't want him anyway. If that's how fragile his ego is, fantastic. Problem solved.

You don't want him anyway. But the problem with sleeping with him too soon is you are putting a lot of expectation on that sexual experience. Get to know the guy and then proceed to have that experience. So that is reason number one. He does not want to see himself through your eyes as how you might have seen him because he didn't perform in the way he wanted to. That's a reason to wait. Number two. The second reason he might not have contacted you is because there was no chemistry.

I don't need to explain it to you, but I need to just tell you with this one thing. Remember that guy that you met before, that was it on paper and that was like handsome to everybody else, but you just couldn't explain what the problem was? Yeah, that's you to him. You are great. You're amazing. You are everything. You are bread and butter and all those good things put together.

But you are just no chemistry. You know, sometimes you even like, I'm. I remember in high school, the guy who liked me was the guy who everybody else liked, but I liked this guy who nobody liked who was kind of the weirder guy because there was just something about him, the way he moved, the way he acted. I was just like, oh my God, he's amazing. And he obviously didn't like me back, fun times. Love that for me.

But that is just the way you might be the best girl, the most amazing girl, have the best body, have the best everything. But he might have just gone on that date with you or two, maybe even forced himself to go on a third date by forced, I mean, not that you're so terrible, you're probably a lovely person, but the chemicals might have not been chemically. You have to accept that. Number three, he might have had ambitions to date a woman like you, but he might know and understand that the resources he has financially, brain-wise, life-wise, might not meet your needs. What does that mean? Maybe you you went on a date together and you ordered, this happened to a friend of mine. She ordered the most

amazing because she liked really good whiskey. She used to go on dates and she used to order the most amazing whiskeys from the bar. And I used to say to her, let's call her Jen. I'd be like, Jen, that whiskey costs $60 and you know that he's taking it out and he's going to pay. Why do you do that? And she's like, yeah, but I only like good whiskey. I don't want to drink anything less than. And this girl was not even a boogey girl. She just liked good whiskey. And she must have put off several men with that because let this be known. This was not at the time when we were dating men in their 30s and 40s. This was at the time we were dating guys in our 20s, okay, or younger. So these guys, fresh out of college or in college, are paying for a $60 whiskey's, ruining the day that they asked her out,

okay? And again, you're tapping on that ego door. He might not have the resources in order to sustain a woman like you. So what are you going to do? If you want a man who can sustain those resources, date older, date men who have that. But if you want him specifically, you want him specifically, and he thought that he could, and this could apply to your mind. This could fully apply to your mind. You could be way more intelligent than he anticipated and he feels shit about himself. Or maybe he doesn't have the time resources that you have. I've had this happen to me in friendships. I have liked girls that I've wanted to be friends with so much. But what happened was they had really high requisites on replying, time commitments, why aren't you there? Why didn't you say that? Why didn't you say this? And I was put off because not because they're bad, girls, but because I have a lot going on right now and I can't commit to that level of friendship. I even have that with my DMs, sometimes with people I choose to reply to. In fact, I sometimes now don't choose to reply because what happens is people have really high requirements and I don't have the resources to fulfill that. Sometimes when I want to reply to a girl who's messaged me on

Instagram, I think twice because I know that if I do and I write a comprehensive message and sometimes even a voice note that I feel like I'm like, yep, I really address that. And she'll go, yeah, but you didn't account for the fact that I also have a hamster. Does that mean that the situation's different? And then I try and reply to that. And she's like, hello, why haven't you replied? And then it just becomes this kerfuffle. Okay.

So it's either money, time, resources, something that did not meet the expectations that he thought that you would have. Okay. That's reason number three. Reason number four is a lot of us want to date, a lot of men, want to date women who are incredible looking. They are Claudia Schiffer, okay? Up in this place.

They are incredible. They are Beyonce. say. But once they go on a date with her, something happens whereby the guy understands that he is not the protagonist in the relationship that she is, that he pales comparatively to her. And I'm not saying that you should skulk away into a man's shadow in order for him to feel that he is the superstar of their relationship. But there are many men who, once they are next to you, and they see that the limelight is so directed at you and not at him, they might not like that. And sometimes they would shy away from somebody like you for that reason. And that's what I want to say about that. It's not a big deal. There's

nothing you can do about it. You might not want a man like that in the long run. So it's probably a good thing. He saw you. You are beautiful. You're a superstar. But next to you, he felt like a bit of a non-event. Number five, you don't want to see this, but he might be married. He might be in a long-term relationship. He might have been experimenting like half of Tinder with the idea that he could have a bit on the side, but he met you, and he realized you are not the type to be a bit on the side. He couldn't sell you the experience. He saw in your eyes that that's not something that you would go for or want. And he decided to back out of the situation.

His idea of the cheating experience didn't work out how he wanted, or maybe he made up with his wife. Maybe he went on the two dates with you and he made up with her. What are you going to do? You can't fight her for him. I mean, you can, but why would you do that? Number six, you have masculine qualities with which you make him feel not like the man that he wants to feel like. Now, I'm not saying that you should remove those masculine qualities.

I'm not saying you should change. But if you want to be a feminine woman who attracts a masculine man, go on to my feminine energy masterclass. And I will tell you and teach you exactly how to appear in order to appear differently, but still be a very powerful woman. Okay. I don't have time to do that here. It's like a three-hour master class, okay? So you might have made him feel not as masculine as he wanted to feel. You might have made him feel in his feminine.

And that's not by virtues of what you did wrong. It's just that you've been in this world programmed to set your feet forward with the idea of, yeah, I achieved that. Yeah, I did that. So what you're going to do? Yeah, I'm going to pay that. What? What?

What? You're like that in his face and it's just not what he wanted. And that does not mean that he is weak or he is not in his masculine or anything like that. It just means that he did not come on his date to battle you. and that's what he got. Number seven, you did something that put him off. I'm giving you all the reasons here. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have done this, but you did something to put him off. Maybe you burped. Maybe you farted. Maybe you slapped the table as you drank your whiskey and downed it. That was lovely. And now, this point needs to be taken carefully because for some men, that experience

of you belching after you have that beer in front of him will literally make you his wife. He'll be like, I knew I liked Amanda because she just burped so loud and I was like, yep, that's my wife. Me and you are going to go on beer drinking competitions and do that together, right? So that could make you someone's ideal. But to another guy that could be off-putting, maybe you were too prissy. Maybe you were like, ew, I don't like oysters. And he was like, no, that's not the girl for me, because I like to go on fishing trips and eat oysters. You might have just done something that put him off. You might have had some kind of a reaction or a limitation that he didn't perceive before. And this does not mean you need to change. You cannot be with him for that reason anyway.

And number eight, lastly, but not leastly, he's someone with an avoidant attachment style and you triggered it by being too involved, too engulfing, too committed, talking too much about your future, asking too much about what he feels wants and needs, texting him an exuberant amount of times and all that stuff. Again, maybe you need someone who can give you that much time, commitment, and energy that might be hard to find. I would suggest you start leaning more secure, watch my content on how to appear secure, or listen to it if you're listening to this on a podcast app. It is good for you and that everyone around you to become more secure. If you really want to delve deep into this, go and pre-order my book, the new rules.

If you pre-order that book, I'm going to give you my course for free, the Polarity Masterclass, how to play with Polarity in Relationships and become that girl that he'll be obsessed with. I'll give it to you for free until the 29th of May. Or if it's past that time, just get the book and then you get the book. It took me a year to write that book, so there's gems in there about all that. But you might have triggered his avoidant attachment. You might have been too involved. you weren't secure.

He realized how big of an effort it's going to be to be with you. And he said, I'm a bounce. I'm going to run right now before this gets too involved, too committed and too difficult. So what are you going to do? This has happened. It's been one of those reasons, okay? What's a girl to do? It's wounded you.

It's hurt you. What you want to do is knock down his door, drive over and be like, say it to my face. Say it to my face why you don't want to be with me. And we have this rhetoric as women to want to always have it said to our face, to want to have it like out to I deserve him to tell me. But the reality is you don't know him. You've only dated him for one, two or three times. Imagine if you as the woman had to have it out with every guy that you have a relationship with and tell him why you didn't want him and have him confronted like that. A lot of men might DM you. A lot of men might like you, but you don't always have to tell them why you didn't feel for them. And if somebody's standing there in front of you being like,

why, why, why? Sometimes you don't know why. Sometimes you don't know why they're that person. And yes, their ego has been hurt, but the worst thing you can do for your mental, for your self-esteem, for your confidence, is demand and answer, especially if it's then met with silence. Oh, my gosh, you will ruin your self-esteem, you will ruin your self-worth. You need to have some self-control of your emotions and some stoicism and some backbone to be like, yes, I'm not for everybody. And thank God that this experience escaped me. We seem to think that we want to have it out with everyone, but understand how ridiculous that sounds.

You want to have it out with him that he went on two dates with you, maybe slept with you, but you were the one who offered to sleep with him, as in you participated with it. I hope, otherwise, then that's a whole different podcast if you didn't consent to it, but you consented. And now he doesn't want anything else to do with you. Well, that was your adult choice that you made. Please do not pursue him. Do not ask him why. Do not berate him. do not message him. Instead, what you need to do is be like an addict in an AA meeting and crowd out

thoughts of him. You need to have a robust schedule of interaction, hobbies, different men that you're dating, even if you don't find them so attractive, but they're interesting. I mean, you find them attractive and they're interesting, they're nice. Maybe you don't like the fact that he wears those kind of loafers. Forget the loafers. Go on a date with him. Maybe you'll see past it. Interact with people, have conversations, be a person that is busy. Once your person that is busy, your energy is going to be removed from him and he will wake up because when an energy is removed from a man, for some reason they know it. I don't know what they're like. They're like some kind of sniffer dog that understands energetic removal and they come back to you, okay? Or if he was genuinely not

interested, then he will not come back to you and thank God because we cannot force a man to be with us. And I will say it more accurately, we can force a man to be with us, but we cannot make a man stay with us. And if we do, you're going to be chasing him your whole life. You're going to be organizing the dates. You're going to be the one who's persuading him to do everything. You're going to be the one who's trying to make him see your merit. You're going to be the one who's always, always pursuing in your Labrador energy. You cannot have that. There is nothing I'm more obsessed with currently than gut health. It is the be-all and end-all. That is why I am so glad seed are sponsoring this podcast. I have been obsessed with seed for years and years and years. I've been ordering them for a long time,

so I'm so happy that they want to jump on board in this podcast. It's the small actions that make a difference. You just take a seed probiotic daily. They're really easy to travel with. They've got the cutest, the best colored little travel pack. It's this amazing foam emerald. It's this amazing foam, old green. It's so beautiful. But let's ignore the packaging for a second and talk about the actual benefits. The seeds DS1 daily symbiotic benefits, your gut, skin, heart, everything. I've had my babies and I'm trying to rebuild my body now. It's time for me. I want to look after my body. So this is something that's going to fit easily into my life. I can take it all the time. They also have this incredible technology that means that the actual microbes,

get into your gut, you know, they don't get dissolved in your stomach acid, but this double capsule contraption actually gets down into your gut where it can work. Trust your gut with Seeds DS-01, daily symbiotic. Go to seed.com slash being her and use code 25 being her to get 25% of your first month. That's 25% of your first month of Seeds, DS1, daily symbiotic at seed.com slash being her, code 25 being her. I've used this one for years and years and years and I really, really highly rate it. So thanks for sponsoring seed. Now, before I go, I'm going to tell you some tips on how to make him obsessed with you from that first date, okay?

Number one, your image needs to be one that is feminine. I know that that's annoying. Maybe you've got tomboy style, but there needs to be femininity to you. Wear things that men don't wear. Even if you're a tomboy, it could be a crop top. It could be something that men don't always wear these days. He needs to imagine what you've got going on as opposed to seeing everything. So don't have your boobs, legs, but everything out.

His imagination is better than what you've got going on. I know you might not think that, but the imagination is wild and it's amazing. So let him imagine. Physically, embody a cat. Soft movements, energetically flowing, always, a feminine energy is always being in flow. Okay? So if you emulate a cat, it's not fast, it's poised, it's paste, it's beautiful. for that is the animal that you need to embody, not a mouse or a dog, okay?

You need to wear something that men don't wear, like kitten heels or something, like I said. You need to have your hair down. You need to have those feminine little markers that he's going to notice. Number two, now listen, I'm not somebody who even adheres to this. I'm not saying that you need to do this and that's it. Otherwise, he won't like you. I'm just letting you know how to make him obsessed with you. You might not like it, but this is what you've got to do.

Number two, let him do something for you, ask him. a question, allow him to make you feel safe, allow him to walk you to the car, this is going to make him feel attached to you. If the date is over and you want him to walk you to the car, just anything like that is going to make him attached to you because then he takes you as a part of himself that makes men attached to you, okay? Number three, do the one thing that he never ever gets in his life. Be thankful and grateful for what he did. We live in a society where we are not noticed, even as women, we are not noticed. Somebody yesterday said to me something, what was it? My husband said, thanks for doing the dishes. I almost died. I was like, oh my God.

I did the dishes. He's thankful. When I always do it and nobody says anything, it always just you know, is a non-event. Be thankful, be happy for what he does, be happy for what he organized. You will become unforgettable to him. Four, before you go on the day, you need to become energetically self-obsessed. You need to have affirmations in the mirror. I am beautiful. I'm incredible. I am an experience to be with. I am magnetic. I am this. I am that. I am the other. You need to vibrate on that energy. I know it might not be authentic to how you feel about yourself, but energetically, if you vibrate that, it's going to allow him to feel that about you, too. If you're jealous about the women, if you're comparing yourself, it's going to make you look bad.

He's going to energetically feel that. You have to be about you. Number five, if you sense he is shy or if you're coming into a restaurant, do not be the one to walk ahead and be like, yeah, so reservation for Jones, let him do it. Let him start the conversation. Let him lead. You might think that you're doing him a favor by leading and getting the reservation by ordering the drinks, don't do it. They love when they can take the lead, especially if they're shy,

especially if they're like, you know, not used to dating. Let them do it. It's going to make them feel better. Number six, be a joy to be with. Be a playful, joyful kitty. No gossiping, no complaining, be lighthearted, be easy to be with, but hard to get. It means it was hard to get a date with you, but it was a joy to experience a date with you. This is not how you should conduct yourself for the rest, the entirety of your life. I mean, you can, then you'll be obsessed with you forever. But in the first few dates, I'm just telling you, as a woman, I love to sit down and be like, oh my God, I can't believe she did that. And then I was complaining and then I was saying that. And then my kid did this. Women, we connect like that. Men don't be easy and joyful. Number seven, have him invest in you,

aka don't try and split the date to don't try and meet him halfway. If it's a date, make him come to you, make him, I just mean only agree to that on the first few dates. Why? Because when he invests in you, both time wise, he's traveling to you. Or, you. money-wise he's planned the date or energy-wise he's thought about where to take you, he becomes more invested in you. Number eight, once the date is over, do not write text, call constantly. And this is such a hard balance. I'm a communicator.

It's really hard for me. There has to be a slight deficit of you. A slight deficit. He's not going to be starving because it's boring and he's not going to be overfilled because that's too much of you. A slight deficit is the key. He gets up from the meal of you like a French woman slightly at a deficit because then he's going to want more and he's going to want more and he's going to want more, okay?

In this book, all my secrets. If you saw that in a video, you would have seen a slightly aquamarine, C-foam blue book that I write everything down in. All the magic is in there. All right, guys, thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed this one. Thank you for watching. Let me know what else you want to talk about and what else you want to hear.

Love you lots like jelly sauce. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.