BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 88: Embracing Dark Feminine Energy & Discovering Your Dharma with Sahara Rose.

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

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Best-selling author, spiritual teacher, and host of Highest Self Podcast. She empowers women to align to their true purpose and embrace their divine feminine energy. When I was 21 years old, my body went into parmenopause. So doctors told me I would never be able to have children. I had zero estrogen and zero testosterone. I knew on a deeper level there had to be a reason why. So I just became obsessed with learning about self-healing. There's so many people giving relationship content online.

but it's your unique magic sauce. It's how you do it. So your Dharma is your soul's purpose. It's the big reason why you are here. And more than just a career or a job or a project, it's really who you are in action. Doing your purpose just helps you remember who the fuck you are. The dark feminine is really based on what is the darkness.

The darkness is the unknown. And the unknown is very scary for most people. Like right now, if you're listening to this, when you tune into the energy of the unknown, what does that feel like for you? Today I'm thrilled to welcome Sahara Rose, bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and host of highest self podcast through her books like Discover Your Dharma and her community, Rose Gold Goddesses.

She empowers women to align to their true purpose and embrace their divine feminine energy. But the reason I wanted to have you on is very, very selfish. I've been following you from before I found my calling and my Dharma. I literally was looking at your content and your self. stuff and I was posting online about, I don't know, fashion and lifestyle and I sat down and I used some of the tools that you actually talk about and I went on to TikTok and I was like, I'm actually going to talk about what my soul calls to. And that's where you found my content. So it's like a loop. That is crazy because to me you're like the OG bad bitch. So I'm so honored

to play any role because then I got a divorce and your content has been helping me. You see how it's cyclical because I was always that person on the inside, right? But I was not hiding, but I was like, what does the well I want to see? How do I present myself? And I was talking about all these things that didn't align. So for the people who are listening to this and they're like, what are you guys talking about? Can we talk about what Dharma means and like how it presents in people's life and what finding it means and what not finding it means? So we all love Margarita here.

And she is someone living her Dharma. And so how do we know she's living in her Dharma? I think all of us, why we follow her is her unique essence, right? There's so many people giving relationship content online, just like there's some people talking about spirituality or whatever the thing is. But it's your unique magic sauce. It's how you do it. So your Dharma is your soul's purpose.

It's the big reason why you are here. And more than just a career or a job or a project, it's really who you are in action. Right. So in Vedic spirituality, which is like the sister science of you, yoga and Iroveda. It's all about that the universe is this massive jigsaw puzzle. And we were each born as souls to play a unique part. And I'm going to get a little bit, this might sound kind of woo-woo for some of you, but just try this on for size. Imagine if your soul, you know, kind of came down on this planet and said, this is my big mission. This is my purpose. This is, this is the magic

sauce I want to bring to the planet. So I'm going to choose these parents. I'm going to choose this body, this home where I grew up, these obstacles I'm going to overcome, even these relationships that are going to fuck me up real bad, but I'm going to learn a lot on the other side. And I'm going to choose all of this because it's the exact curriculum that my soul needs to help me embody that Dharma. So I was born with the purpose, but now I need to go to the training school for it, right? It's like Adele was born with a great voice, but she's put in thousands of hours of training to master that voice. So that's why you see a lot of people in the school in the school. world, they're not living their Dharma, they're not living their purposes, even though they have one.

Every single person on this earth, there are no extras has a purpose. But I feel a lot of us are thinking, well, am I supposed to be a psychologist or a lawyer or this? I like to talk, you know, it's like, it's not a game of life that you pull a card, but rather it is taking, and I have so many different tools, but really taking your unique life experiences, what you're excited about, the mediums that come through you, your unique way of seeing the world and bringing it all together. And you can see with Margarita here, taking her previous relationships and her experiences and all of these things. Every time I see her videos on TikTok, I already can feel what the essence, what the reminder of

it is going to be because she's so living that Dharma. And we all have our own unique imprinting. We are here to make in the universe. So when it comes to your parents that you're born to, people ask me often, or how do you know this about men? Or how do you talk about this with confidence? And I'm like, babe, I was born with the father I was born with who wasn't. interested in me as a child and still isn't, which is I'm so happy with now because otherwise

I wouldn't have known the lessons. What are the lessons you feel your parents gave you and brought you into your Dharma? Oh, honey, girl, I think a girl, girl, I am deep, so let's go. A lot of us spiritual people have that, would you consider your dad to be a narcissist? Yeah. Yeah, my dad, super narcissistic. Like, I'm like on the highest level of it. So you didn't even want to be a father, you know, became one. And provided for us financially, you know, but very, very little emotionally. And like, you know, growing up, I would watch full house. I'm like, why don't I have a dad like that? And it's been a huge journey of, you know, trying to heal my relationship with him and become closer with him. And then sometimes

I will feel like, I've healed my relationship with my father. And then he'll, like, be screaming out the news and say just some crazy shit. And I'm just like, but what it has made me learn, I mean, most of us who choose narcissistic parents become empaths. So if you're listening to this and you're someone who's, what's an empath, you're sensitive, you're attuned, you're intuitive, you're aware of energy. You can walk into a room. You can feel, okay, some shit went down here. Or I can feel she's saying everything's fine.

I can feel something's off. Or I know someone's about to text me when they're going to text me. You're connected to children. You're connected to animals. a lot of us have these high gifts of empathy because we grew up with a parent who was emotionally unattuned, unavailable. And so we actually saw the reflection of what we do not want to be, you know, and also for me, I could tell by the way my dad would walk up the stairs, was he going to be angry today or not? You know, by the way he put down his cup, was he about to

burst or not? I knew, like, what are the things that happened right before my parents get into a really big fight. And you can look at this in the lens of there's a, there's a trauma related to that. But our traumas are related to our dharmas. Because those traumas give us the unique schooling that only that thing can give us. And then when I'm able to realize that even that, while on a human level I don't deserve that, no one deserves anything bad happening on a human level. But I know from who I've become, from becoming someone who my empathy is my superpower, my gift, that I'm able to see patterns and things that I'm able to listen to people, that I'm able to hold conversations that only would have been possible with a father exactly like that. And also

diving into relationships that I had to, like you, go through the narcissistic relationship thing. My marriage ended due to infidelity. And he was a more covert narcissist, so I would not have been able to tell. And I know you have a similar type story. And I'm so grateful for that too because it's like certain lessons will only learn by going straight in you know it's like you can read in those lessons yeah you had that with your father and you become so crystal clear and attuned to men or maybe not men women whoever you are with in the way they put their cup down the way they do everything i see a lot of messages of women coming in um i can feel that he's a little bit off he's a little bit depressed what do i do how do i make him happy how does an empath who is like your eye who's trying to find

their purpose and trying to find that freedom unlock themselves from zoning in on people and becoming obsessed and anxious about their relationships. What was your journey with that? Yeah. So there's, you know, everything in life has, is a dichotomy, right? So there's a fine line. So I remember in my relationship, I was, you know, like, I was the golden retriever, I would say. Like, I was obsessed with, I was 24 years old and I was just obsessed with him, you know. And so I never really put him through like, are you beating my needs? I didn't even think I had relational needs, you know? I was just like, I met my husband. That's it. Game over. And so looking back on that, I already gave him the title of a husband, but he didn't have to do anything to become the husband. I just saw him as

that. And I would say also, I mean, I thought he was going to be the opposite of my father because he was more attuned to how I felt compared to what I had experienced. But I do believe on a deeper level, we still often have to go into those relationships firsthand to really, like, learn that. I remember, and I've never really shared this, but, you know, at my wedding, like, my, you know, your dad is supposed to walk you down the aisle. And my dad was, like, so just not present with me at all. He's like, I'm trying to have a small talk with the lady styling my hair.

Like, I'm literally about to walk down the aisle. It's like, aren't you supposed to be giving me, like, words of advice or something, you know? and he's just like, what kind of trees grow here? blah, blah. And I remember just being so infuriated. And as I was walking down the aisle, I cried, but it was like this cry of like, get me away from my father.

Like, I'm so excited to create a new family that's not him. But it was like I was running from the arms of one narcissist into another. You know, it just wasn't as aware. And how do women stop from doing that? Because I was lucky in terms of the fact that, like you said, I had a similar relationship before my marriage where he ended up cheating. I put all my needs aside. So in essence, I think I was lucky or maybe it was just my path, but I was attracted to a

person who ended up cheating on me. And all I was doing is putting my needs aside and jumping through hoops like the golden retriever because all I thought about and cared about is how to maximize his happiness. And then I met my husband and I've never shared this as well, but I was in the same pattern. I hadn't healed because I feel healing is relational. You've got to do it together. But I was fortunate in the fact that he was somebody who looked like somebody who's narcissistic and avoidant, but wasn't actually. He's just somebody who's very involved in his own project, very almost inspiringly unaffected by other people.

And I thought, like in my energy, I suppose, that I was getting with somebody who was going to reject me also. and I was going to chase, but really he is not that person. But if I was somebody else and what would you advise to women who have that pattern of keeping going for that man, who they're going to please? And because they're an empath, they've got no other way of being. What would you say they should do? Yeah. So this has been a journey for me over the past two years and something I've really found

my way on the other side. So the first thing is if you are someone that keeps attracting, and when people say, I keep attracting, it means you're attracted to. So if you're someone that keeps being attracted to emotionally unavailable men, it honestly, and I know you don't want to hear it, and I know you're going to say this isn't true, but it means you're emotionally unavailable to yourself. The reason being is you really can't sustain a relationship with someone who's giving you breadcrumbs because you're living in your fantasy.

And oftentimes what we do as women is we decide if this guy chooses me, then I'm important. because this guy has the money or the career or the fame or the whatever the thing is. So or for a lot of women height looks. And trust me, I was there too. So we choose this guy who feels like he's a little bit out of our reach. But if he chooses me, then that means all the stories I've told myself as a kid that I'm unlovable are therefore not true based on this person choosing me. And then we live on these little breadcrumbs like he watched my story. And like the rest of our day, oh my God, he watched my story, he watched my story.

Wait, but he stopped at the third story. What did I post on the third story that made him go away? And then we're like doing mental gymnastics trying to figure it out. We're like adding him to our close friends and we're like doing close friends' photos so he'll see. And I do think that's a stage that a lot of women go through. But if you stay in that perpetually, it's like, do you actually really want a real relationship? because a relationship requires you being real. And so my journey really showed me all the ways that I was not presenting myself as real.

I was presenting myself as this dream girl who was perfect and low maintenance and chill and this and that. And also I think what happens a lot of times after a breakup is you have like your glow up, you know? So for me, I was just like presenting myself like hair, makeup, lashes, like everything amazing. but it was actually through sitting with plant medicine of ayahuasca that it showed me it was like how is your man even going to find you when you're not even showing what you really look like and it's only until you love that little for me 11 year old girl that was the time of my life that i felt fat ugly my parents were fighting i had a crush on this boy he didn't like me back that was like you know when there's a stage of your life you when you look at the childhood

pictures of you're like e i was ugly then that was that was my stage and I know we all have it. And it showed me until you can genuinely love that 11-year-old girl in you and the parts of you that are still her when you feel like you've gained weight, when you feel like your cheeks are too red, when you feel like until you can love that, how do you expect someone else to love you? And it also showed me on a deeper level that unconditional love that I was desiring so deeply is not a romantic relationship. It's the love of a mother. And I was wanting someone to love every part of me, my shadows of me, my this, my that, that's a mother's love. That is, that is your mother to you, whatever the relationship

is like. And you to your children, I know you have, you have children so you feel that. And I feel often we're looking for that mother's love in our romantic relationships. And we have to go on that journey of being our own inner mother for ourselves. So these, these things, and it's, and it's not a one and done. It's like meditating on. that inner child, finding a picture of you at that age that you felt unlovable, staring at her, talking to her, when you're doing something cool in life, bringing her along with you, be like, hey little Margarita, hey little Sahara, like right now we're like on a podcast. Isn't this so cool? Like people like to hear us talk. Like isn't that so amazing? Like look at who we've become.

And even times that you're feeling scared, like, oh my God, is he pulling away? Is this relationship going to work? It's your little inner girl that's scared. She's scared, am I going to be abandoned? Am I going to be alone? And talking to that little girl. And it's actually that that's going to heal and shift the relationships that were in. So I noticed there was definitely a couple of these more emotionally unavailable,

fuck boy, that kind of guy. But after a while, I started attracting empath men, like men who are very attuned to needs. And then that was another mirror. for me of like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a lot, you know? And more recently starting a new, a new relationship. And like just this morning, for example, I was feeling a little bit like, and right now he, he lives in another country and blah, blah, but I was feeling a little bit like, for me, mornings are such an important time to connect and he's in a different time zone. So it's just like we're on a different connection. So I went into like in my notes app writing the breakup letter.

You know, this isn't going to work out. Like going straight into that. And then I actually just played like a meditation and I just connected to my heart. It was my little girl that was so afraid that this isn't going to work out. So let me end this right now because it's probably not going to work out. And we're going to break each other's hearts. And I feel bad breaking his heart. And so I don't even know if I want to be in this.

So let me just end this right now. And it's that still that little girl. And it's like reminding yourself. that by the way, in love, even if you love each other for the rest of your lives, hearts are going to be broken. And there's no running away from that. But when we realize that we can just grow through that, we can actually say. And so eventually to him, I told him, I was like, you know, mornings are such a sacred time for me. And one of my deep, like, relational needs is intimacy. And that's totally okay if that's not your jam. And maybe we won't be compatible in that way.

but I just wanted to speak it because I think it's important in starting a relationship to just share it with honesty. I didn't do the breakup letter, but I also didn't ignore it. And just for the rest of the day, he's been so much more like telling me what he's doing and checking in and this and that. And it's like, I feel we jump to these conclusions so often we're like obsessed or like blocking and like letting ourselves be in the intricacy and the in between. I think it's the maternal love. Like what you said, that little girl, I was a 12 year old girl, every feeling of inadequacy. fatness, which is an abstract word, but that's how I felt when I was 12. I was an immigrant as well. I had an accent, which is funny that we're podcasting now and people like to hear us talk because,

you know, that story is very real. But in that moment, when you wanted him to contact you in the morning, that is also a call from yourself to your own maternal self to look after you. That's where I find that, you know? You're like, oh, I want his intimacy in the morning. Where is the maternal side of you that's going to be there for you. And when I found that for myself, when I was like, actually, I'm good by myself. I'm good to be here for myself. Not by myself. That's the wrong expression. But I'm going to look after me. Suddenly people start to come in and you expressing, hey, I need you to, you know, communicate with me. Is that maternal love for that little girl being like, hey, this little girl needs communication. So we're going to do it or you can miss me with that. You know what I mean? So that's an

amazing story from that empath. If somebody is dating and they're woman like you and they are so aligned with their purpose it can come across as very powerful how do you find dating as a woman who is in her alignment and what do men react like to you oh girl it is definitely can be more challenging and it's funny because people look at me off and under like it must be so easy for you because you have a huge audience so you probably have guys damming you all the time i'm like i really barely ever do because first of all my audience is all woman and also a lot of men are intimidated, you know, if they see, it's actually really interesting. I read in a book that it's like something in psychology, but if a woman was presented to with an opportunity to cheat, she would be

more likely to cheat with like the super famous athlete or movie star or rock star or something, like woman, we are drawn to fame. Whereas a man, if he was given an opportunity to cheat between like a Kim Kardashian or like the street cleaner, but she was pretty good looking, he would choose the good looking street cleaner. So a lot of men actually are quite intimidated by fame because they know that a woman that has more notoriety is going to have higher demands. Because men compare themselves to the woman and she's not looking up to him and men want to be looked up to. So exactly. So it was really interesting because I would find myself dimming my light. So I remember there was this guy in London, I matched with and he was like, what's your Instagram? And I kind of just ignored the question.

then again he's like what's your Instagram like oh fuck you know so if i gave him my Instagram and i saw he followed me and i like muted him from my stories because i didn't want him to like no and i just was like how eventually i went on a date with him and it was like complete friend vibes and then i unmuted him for my stories and in my head i was like he's going to think i'm too out there you know i'm like dancing i got music videos i got this and he was like he was like he was like Pakistani so i was like he's going to be conservative i unmuted him for my stories after I realized it was a friend vibe. This guy is my number one fan. He loves everything that I do. And here I went, creating this whole story. So I share this because you'll also be surprised by how many men are

extremely inspired by it. Or like, that's so hot that you have your own thing going on. You know, especially a lot of like really powerful men. They don't want a woman who's like constantly doting on them. And, you know, why didn't you text me back? And they don't, they don't have time for that, you know? So So a lot of like the person that I'm seeing right now, very, very successful man, definitely in his alpha man. And it's so attractive to him that I'm like, it's like power couple, you know? It's like you could bring me around somewhere and I can hold a conversation. And I think that it's also really necessary for women to have her own Dharma because we can get

so caught up in our emotions. We can get so caught up into micro-analizing the situation that happened. and sometimes it's like doing your purpose just helps you remember who the fuck you are. And then you come back to it with so much less of that fieriness. Yeah. A lot of girls who are struggling and women are, it's because they don't have that Dharma and that path and the purpose. Let me tell you, sometimes I want to fixate on stuff too.

I want to be like, why don't he text me even with my husband? It just, you just start to cycle. But then I've got to be here on this podcast. I've got to do this. People are waiting. I'm, you know, and I'm like, I forget him. and then suddenly he reappears all excited and happy to be with me. And that's always the way it works.

When it comes to feminine energy, I get this question a lot. And I just wanted to talk about it with you. Building a business, but being in your feminine energy, are those two things mutually exclusive or can it happen? Do you have to go into your masculine and be very driven to make it happen? Because you are prolific in what you've done. Thank you. You can absolutely create a business from your feminine.

I think it's expanding the definition of what feminine is. So most of what we see on YouTube or TikTok even, it's like, to be feminine is just to talk like this and be really submissive. And, you know, guys don't want it if you make money and guys don't like this and guys don't like that. And it's like that is an aspect of the feminine. And then there's another aspect of the feminine that's like Kalimah, who's wild and untamed and free and raw and liberated. And there's the aspect of her that's Durga, the fierce warrior ass who fucking slays deep. demons on her on her on her on her lion and there's sataswati the goddess of creativity who's channeling arts and beauty and expression and lexhmi who's just dripping in gold and abundance and money and

these are all aspects of the feminine so i feel our society has taken like 1950s housewives and we're like that's the feminine it's like no that's and and also it's the wounded feminine you know the wounded feminine is manipulating other people to try to get what she wants. The empowered feminine is in her queen energy. You know, the priestesses back in the day where the woman who would use their spirituality, their sensuality, their intuition, and the men would come to her for guidance. And I see a lot of women, they're like, well, I want a man that completely takes the lead. But here's a thing, we women, we are the leaders in love. We are the leaders of love. We are the ones who are more attuned to the frequency of love. We can feel when

something's off in the relationship sooner. And so, yes, while I think we all have a fantasy about a guy that knows us better than we know ourselves and, you know, can stare into our souls and tell us everything we need, that fantasy is what's keeping so many women unhappy in their relationships and so many women perpetually single. And the reality of it is, is like we naturally, we have wounds. You know, carrying a womb means we carry the hologram to create life. So we are going to be more attuned to that frequency. So bringing it to business, we can channel and manifest through our room spaces, through our creativity, through our divinity. For me, I'm someone that, and I'm also a Capricorn, so I will say that, but I don't follow a schedule. I really go for my, where is inspiration

taking me today? And sometimes inspiration is taking me and I'm writing and writing and writing. And sometimes I'm in a flow where I'm like, just answering a bunch of emails and sometimes in a flow that I'm just creating a bunch of content. So following that flow, following that wave, and just getting in the right energy state for it. Sometimes it's taking a walk or rolling around on your yoga mat or doing something to get you into that flow. And maybe the first 10 minutes, you have to like force yourself to start writing or something you don't want to. But then I find the floodgates unlock. I do feel there is an element of the masculine that is needed in creating a business, which is creating that containment, that structure. So, you know, I was,

one-on-one coaching for like seven-plus years, making okay money, but not really. At the beginning of it quite broke. And it was only when I decided to consciously be like, how does it online business work? Like, how do I actually set up, you know, a funnel? What is a discovery call? Like, starting to learn these things that at first I was like, you know, business, I don't want to touch you with a 10-foot pole. That once I started to actually learn those things and I did have to kind of shift into what you might call masculine, but I could also call it fierce feminine, of learning how to create that containment and structure within for myself. I went from, I was living in a $2.00 in India broke to I have a multiple seven figure profit a year business now where I pretty much do

whatever I want at this point. But there were years of my life that I had to learn the business things. And now I can, if needed, get in the back of my website and fix things around or do the email list or whatever the thing is. I have a team that does it, but I could only hire that team that does it because I had to learn how to do it myself, right? And I think a lot of us, it's the wounded feminine. We have that fantasy. So many women, I would just want someone to just manage my whole business for me. Can someone just run it for me? It's like, we're not on the days of Oprah anymore, that they're like, here you go, Margarita. We're going to give you a show, a producer, a manager, this, that, that, it's all done for you, just show up. It's just not the way

that it works and that's a blessing because now we can have so many different voices out there. You can become your own Oprah. You can literally get a $10 microphone. You got your iPhone. You can have your own TV show starting tomorrow. So it's going to be the battle of who wins the battle of their minds, the battle of their consciousness, these perceived limitations that we have, this, this, you know, wall that's not even real. That if the only difference between Margarita and I is we just decided to start. And so don't feel like, oh, I'm going to lose myself in my masculine if that happens. But rather, it's like if I've only walked with my right foot, my entire life, I need to sometimes learn how to walk with my left foot. Then I can learn with my left foot.

And then I can do both. And we need both, Yin and young, Shiva Shukti. It's amazing. I think I remind women a lot that I used to coach like you. And that was all fine, making a bit of money. Okay, cool. And then I had my first child. and my business brain turned on, not because I became a masculine man, but because that fierce feminine turned on. I was like, I'm going to make money for my child. And not only that, I realized the difficulty of looking after a child and running a business. And if anything, I want to model to women that you can do it and that you can be there for your family

or stay at home and be that kind of, like you said, epicenter of it's your role. I tell them all the time to create their emotional stability in your home. And you can only do that if you're also running a business for your own. yourself and you have some control. I saw you talk about dark feminine energy and I want to talk about it. What is the misconception about the dark feminine when they're all like, um, femme fatale, you know, she's just so aloof. What is the real dark feminine when it comes to spirituality? I feel you really embody dark feminine energy beautifully. So of course, she's wearing a black shirt today but the dark feminine you know a lot of people think it's the seduction techniques the how to get

him to text you back that kind of stuff and a lot of people brand their things is dark feminine but the dark feminine is really based on what is the darkness the darkness is the unknown you know and the unknown is very scary for most people like right now if you're listening to this when you tune into the energy of the unknown what does that feel like for you so what does it feel like for you margarita unknown. Comforting for me because I'm quite used. I like the I like the feeling of the unknown. It's comforting for me. It makes me feel safe. But that's from working on it for a long time. Like a true dark goddess right there. So most people, the unknown is scary as shit. You know, it's like, oh my God, like I would rather be in a comfortable cage that I know every corner than an

unknown thing that anything can happen. But the devil, you know. Right. Exactly. But if, If anything can happen, then anything can happen. It's limitless possibilities. The dark void is the dirt. It's the soil. It's where all life grows from. It's the space. It's the cosmos.

It's where the solar system and the galaxies are born. It's the womb, the hologram that has created all life. All creation comes from the dark. So a woman in her dark feminine energy is in touch with that. She's not afraid of the shadows. She's not afraid of the pain. She's not afraid of those periods in her life where the rug is swept under her feet because she's like, bitch, now I got a flying carpet, you know?

Because she's learned that. She's gone through dark nights of the soul. A dark night of the soul is when oftentimes your biggest nightmare happens. You're thrown into the abyss, you know, for me, finding out about the infidelity in my marriage, for someone else could be a health crisis, for someone else it could be whatever the thing is, where your life was going one way, what's the thing? isn't perfect, but you're okay with it. And then the universe, out of love, said, you are capable of so much more. And because you're not going to make this change in your life, I'm going to

get involved. And even though this feels like the worst thing that's ever happening, it's going to be the best. And everything you genuinely want is on the other side of this unknown. And the thing that happens in the unknown is at first we're like holding on to the sides we're like oh my god it's like you know when you're on a roller coaster you're like holding onto the roller coaster for your dear life but you can just decide you know i'm on this roller coaster regardless you know this rollercoaster of life so i could put my hands up radio on and enjoy it because it's going to take me on a ride it's just am i resisting it or not so when you start to get a little bit more comfortable in the unknown like you are then all of a sudden you realize that your life becomes more magical the more you're in the unknown

that you're like huh i thought this was going to work i guess it's not working must be something better because it only gets better that's just what it is i keep getting hotter my relationship's getting getting better i keep getting richer everything just keeps getting better all the time and so it is and so if you decide and so it is that's what it will be you know so when i found out about the infidelity, even though I had zero evidence of this, I said, this will be the reason why I have the greatest love of all time, whereas most people will say, this is going to be the reason why I can never trust again. This is the reason why I'm going to have post-traumatic betrayal, PTSD. It was crazy. The Instagram ads I was getting, I was like, oh, my God, I'm like that. And I was like,

nope, this is going to be the reason why my heartbreak is going to be the reason why my heart will open more than it ever has before. And even though I had no evidence, of it, I was in that unknown. And when you're in the unknown, Spirit starts to speak to you a lot more. You start to notice all these synchronicities. It's like someone sends you a message that's exactly what you need to hear. Maybe you listen to this podcast. You don't even know, maybe it's their first time I were listening to this podcast. And it's like speaking to your soul right now. And this is all your highest self, which really is a future version of you on your highest timeline, giving you those breadcrumbs that are guiding you. So being in your dark feminine energy is being aware of this

and realizing that the shadows, the unknown, is actually going to bring you towards everything you ever really wanted. That's incredible. I mean, I just want to round out and say, if you want to know more about Dharma, you can go on your websites, but I found you through Ayurveda. And I want to touch on it for myself selfishly because I think sometimes when you're not in your alignment, your body speaks you through not necessarily illness, but discomforts, back pain, whatever it is. And could you tell me a little bit about how you started, how you began talking about dosha and what they mean, just so I can learn more about it. Thank you. I started for, because of my own health challenges, when I was 21 years old, my body went into paramanopause. So doctors told me I would never be able to have

children. I had zero estrogen and zero testosterone. And because of that, I would have osteoporosis. and be on tons of prescription medications from antidepressants, hormone replacement therapy, the list goes on. And I knew on a deeper level there had to be a reason why, but they just said, I don't know, sometimes this just happens. And so I just became obsessed with learning about self-healing. And that brought me to Ayurveda, which is the world's oldest health system and the sister science of yoga based on the mind-body connection.

And what drew me to Iyerveda was I took a quiz and I can share my dosha quiz. But when I took this quiz, it described my personality. It was like, you're creative, you're artistic, you think outside the box, you're idealistic, you love to travel. But also, like, you can overthinking, get anxious and have insomnia. And then it described my body in the same archetype. It was like bloating, gas, constipation, aminarea, which means not getting your period, low hormones, cold all the time, dry skin, dry hair, dry nails. I was like, this is just my autobiography. Like when I die, just read this description out loud.

And I'm like, I need to know everything about this because I would go to the gastroenterologist, they would say take this, the endocrinologist, they would say take that. And here's this one thing that describes my body, my mind, my spirit, all of it in one category. And I'm like, I've never felt so seen. So I just became obsessed with learning everything I could about it and ended up studying Ayurveda in India for two years and, you know, writing numerous books on Ayurveda, such as Eat Feel Fresh, Idiot's Guide to Iroveda, and we can link those as well. And what I love about it today is there's really no one-size-fits-all approach, but also your body, those discomforts that you

mentioned, those symptoms, are really your soul speaking out to you, telling you areas of your life that are out of balance. So for me, I didn't have my period for two years because I was deeply out of touch with my feminine energy. You know, for someone else, they might have really bad back pain because they're carrying the weights of the world. For someone else, they may have really bad digestive issues because they're not digesting life. So our bodies are really giving us the symptoms of what is on a deeper level happening with our souls. And ultimately, the only way we can heal is to come in alignment with our dharmas. Because until we come in alignment with our dharmas, something will be off.

Spirit will always be nudging us. You know, before I started my podcast, I would get these horrible throat pains. I would cough. And Spirit was like, speak, girl, speak, speak. But I was like, I'm afraid. I'm a writer. I'm not a speaker. And then even at the baby, I would write down everything I wanted to say and read it off

the piece of paper, you know, because I didn't trust myself in speaking. And ever since I started the podcast, I've never had any kind of throat issue again. So I share this because we so focus on the acute issue, but ever. everything has a deeper spiritual reason behind it. Can you just share with me the three dosha just for anyone interested and what they present like? And can you tell from looking at a person what they are, aka me? Yes.

So three dosha. The word dosha means energy. So they are Vata, which is air, pitta, fire, kaffa, earth. So a person that has air qualities. So if I was like, oh my God, she's such a airhead. how would you describe this person? Like the typical blonde, sorry, blonde's airhead, you know, flitting around, doesn't know what she wants, you know, confused, trips over. Right.

That kind of person. Exactly. Head in the cloud, space cadet, you know, we have language for it. So this airy person, likely they're going to be, you know, on the good side, they're creative, they're artistic. Maybe they have a cool style. They're always changing things up. Maybe they live in like Venice Beach, L.A., you know. but then the other side are the things you mentioned.

Maybe they have a lot of ideas, air. It's like a tornado in their thoughts. So if you were someone, and that was my, my docha, that I would change my mind a lot. So I'm like, oh, I want to do this for a living. Oh, no, and now I want to do that. I want to do that. I would like ask strangers.

I'm like, do you know what I should do with my life? Like, I have no idea, you know? I always saw women just decide for yourself. Use a month to just decide solely for yourself. Don't ask anyone if you want to find out who you are. Yeah. Exactly. And I had to go on an advice detox, which now I'm on one with men as well, because as women, we so were like, I don't know, like you tell me. And that's a very vata air airy thing to do because it's you're leaving your body. Right. So the air quality is creative, artistic, idealistic, travel thinks big, big picture oriented, shadows, anxiety, insomnia changes mind often scattered in the body, bloating gas, constipation, cold. You know, the air is cold, dry, eczema. And then how they tend to look.

So we each have like, it's called the prakriti, a natural born constitution. So you may have been born. And we're all, all three of these dosha. So you may have been born primarily air, secondary fire, lastly earth. Maybe your air and fire are pretty similarly. Your earth is lower. Maybe your earth is high. It's like we're all, it's not, some of us are very much one dosha.

Some are like really 10% of people are equal with all three. So you're born with that, but then your diet, your lifestyle, where you live, where you travel, what's happening in your life changes it. That's called their vikrity. So we can tell often what someone's proctity is their natural born constitution by the shape of their face, by the size of their wrist, by the shape of their hips. So a Vata person, an air person we were just talking about, is going to have often a long face, gaunt cheeks, long. limbs like a ballerina body a marathon runner body think steve jobs natalie portman kieran knightly uh michael jackson prince you know that that body type so we see like a lot of a lot of like artists have that like people who forget to eat you know like yeah that kind of body type so i don't that's not i mean i'm so i'm small boned but i'm not exactly that because i have the other ones a little thing that you can do is checking the size of your wrist. So can you put your hand around your wrist? Now, is there a lot of space or is it just about equal? Or is it? What is it wrong? There

or is it hard to touch? Okay, it's hard to touch. Interesting. Okay. So if there's a lot of- I naturally feel like I fall into, if I neglect myself and everything, I go earth, kaffa energy, because I'm that kind of energy. But my predominant feels like pisser a lot of the time. I'm very, Yeah, you definitely have like a pita in your personality, but what that just showed us is that you have earth, koffa in your body. So the body structure. So if you have a lot of space that's between your hands and your wrist, that's a vata skeletal structure. So mine is a vata skeletal structure. If it's just touching like this, it's a pita, fire one.

If it's not quite touching, it's a kafa, earth one. Yeah. Size of the hips. People who have like, I have a very straight body. so that tends to be Vata people. People who are a little bit just kind of regularly proportioned is more pit to fire. People who have like more pear-shaped hourglass bodies is more of that earth katha, like Kim Kardashian, Marilyn Monroe, etc.

I sadly don't have that attribute. I have narrow hips, but oh well. Yeah. And so it's like different. It's always different in different areas as well. So like a koffa, a koffa face as actually I have quite a koffa face. So koff is the earth one. So they tend to have like rounder faces, softer features, baby like features, big eyes, big lips. They have smooth skin. Pitas, the fire one, tend to have angular jaws, redness in their skin,

oiliness, acne. And then vataz, it's more of that like long, sometimes more sunken in, sunken in features. It's fascinating. I love that practice. It's so, so interesting. And when you align also the foods you eat, I read your books as well. It's just incredible what it can do, just aligning and tweaking these ancient practices and talking about ancient practices. Something I've never really touched on or have no knowledge on is past lives. Can you talk to me about your experience with past lives and what your thoughts are on it? So past lives are one of the big things that brought me into my spiritual journey. So I believe, and in Vedic spirituality, it's none of our first rodeos here, you know,

especially if you're listening to this podcast. Like you've been on this planet before. This is not intro level shit right here. So our past lives are aspects of ourselves that on a higher level are simultaneously happening right now. So how do we find them? What historical periods are you drawn to? What countries? Are there, is there any music when you listen to music from that culture?

You just come alive. You watch a movie that's set in this time period. It feels like you've been there. Or maybe you've gone into a home or somewhere and you're like, oh my God, I've been here before. Maybe it's just a certain practice really resonance for you, a certain dance or a language came through you very easily. So I know some people, French came very easily for them. They love Paris. It's like walking down the streets of Paris.

it feels like they've been there before. Other people, they are so repulsed by Paris. And the last thing they want to learn is French. It feels like some shit maybe went down there in a negative way. You know, some countries you're really drawn to, some countries you're repulsed by, some countries you're neutral by. So for me, I'm Persian in this lifetime, but so deeply drawn to India. I mean, even my career has really been sharing Vedic spirituality.

So many past lives in India. Like, I mean, my college boyfriend was Indian and lived in India. And when I'm there, I'm just like, even though people often are like, India's so chaotic, it feels like home for me. And all of this wisdom almost feels like secondary for me. Like when I was writing my books, I would often just look out the window and my fingers would just type. And I didn't even know what I was writing. And it would be like the guna's, the subguna's, like very specific Vedic information was coming through me that I was channeling from my past lives. So start to write down like these historical periods, characters and then start to create archetypes.

Like if I were an archetype in that time, what would it be? You know, was I a 12-year-old girl who is dancing and drumming in Kenya with this big, wide smile? Was I this samurai fighter in Japan who, you know, only wanted to fight for good? Was I, you know, and start to create these different storylines for yourself. You can even give them names. And I find that often, like, our interests will shift us towards different patterns. past lives. So, and we have, and it's infinite past lives, we can't really quantify it, but I find in this lifetime, there's a couple lives that you're really working with, you know, like, and there

might be periods of your life that you're, like, really channeling from that lifetime. So maybe you go through, like, a Batchata dancing phase, and you're really channeling from that, like, lifetime you've had in Dominican Republic, or, you know, you are working a lot with shamanism and plant medicine. You're channeling from your life as a Mayan indigenous elder. or you're being called to Egypt and Egyptian mysteries and you're channeling from your lifetime as an Egyptian priestess. So I find the more we have access to them, they start to take us on a journey and we start to, it's like unfinished business from that lifetime that we're here finishing. So we're getting support from that lifetime. We already have a huge level. So like spiritual people,

they call us old souls because we have been studying this wisdom for so long for so many different lifetimes that our starting point is where a lot of people will never even get to. And we can go into soul ages. Like there are some infant souls here on this planet who it is like their first kind of couple lifetimes that it's all about survival. We've got young souls where it's all about like my wants, my house, my country, my flag, mine, yours, good, evil, right, wrong. If the church doesn't say it, you can't. It's like that kind of thinking. I think we can all recognize that. We have mature souls who are like, wow, like when I go to the museum, I feel some kind of way, but I don't really know what it is, but, you know, I like the opera, you know, and it kind of is like,

they are drawn to arts and literature, but it doesn't really have a spiritual side to it. And then the old souls are like asking conversations like this, like what is the meaning of life and noticing these parallels. So we can also see how evolved our souls are from the contemplations that we're having. It's funny. I was sitting with my mom and she was annoyed about something and she visibly shows that she's annoyed in her face. And I'm like, why are you showing me, why are you showing that you're annoyed? She goes, what do you mean? Because I'm annoyed. And I'm like, yeah, but how is that going to change anything? Like it's not going to change the circumstance. Like nobody's going to watch your face and then, you know, I have these contemplative questions.

And she's like, what do you mean? But I'm annoyed. And I realize in that moment that the questions we have in our heads are completely because to me, something annoying happens, sure, show that you're annoyed but to be in that state is hurting you more than anybody around you nobody cares right and it's just that contemplation of like the soul journey in that time it's so interesting especially when your parent i love you mom might be a younger soul than you you know our parents are always younger souls than us our children our children always are going to be older souls than we are so your children are going to look at you in some kind of way like he's already looking at me like that i'm like gosh okay okay that's so Interesting. Tell me more about that. So consciousness evolves. So our children are more.

Yeah. So there are these things called yugas. It's like universal. It's like larger periods of like 10,000 or so years. And they'll have different frequencies that the planet is in. So we are just coming out of Kali Yuga era of darkness. So this era of darkness has been around war, you know, poverty, you know, hatred, crime. Like, we've gone so, so, so deep into the shadows, like forgetting who we are. And we need it. It's like, it's a cycle that you need to go into this dissension to then remember again. So we're actually coming out of Kali Yuga.

We can't say the exact date. Some people say we've already shifted into the next one, Satyuga era of truth. Some people say it's going to happen in 2029. Some people say it's not going to happen for 100 years. but we can all agree it's happening like right around now. So we are the souls that have been chosen to come in this time. And so we're kind of the cleanup crew that we were meant to come in in this era of darkness, to see the darkness and to usher in this new way of being.

That's why they call our souls like the volunteers. You know, like we're doing a lot of just like the muck, like the setting the foundation for the new earth, like the people, 100, let alone 500,000 plus years from now, we're going to look at us like, thank you guys so much. How'd y'all do it? You know? So if you're like, shit is so crazy, what's happening? This is why we're at the end of Kali Yuga.

So the souls that are coming through right now are actually more to be part of Satyuga. They're not meant to go through as many of the initiations that we had to go through. So a lot of us, you know, they call us the Indigo children, that we needed to be born with the difficult parents and the difficult lifestyles and the difficult things to go on. this journey of remembering, whereas a lot of these children, actually those souls have chosen to have parents that are a bit more supportive of their path because they're here to do like really high level problems, like helping the planet, you know, saving the oceans, like really big things that if they had to do so much of the like ancestral and family healing stuff,

they wouldn't have been able to do. Heavy lifting. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. You mentioned your Capricorn. I'm curious. Is that in Vedic or in tropical astrology? That's in two systems. tropical, yes, in Western astrology. In Vedic, I am the Sagittarius. Okay. So how come you follow the tropical system? Well, I just say it to people because most people do it, but I actually follow Vedic astrology more in my day and day-to-day life. But I do really like the pattern app for like the bonds. I don't know if you've ever gone on them. I mean, you could get pretty like codependent on that, but I have found it to be very accurate. I am a Virgo in tropical and I'm a Leo in Vedic.

Completely different. What do you feel more like? I have the Leo essence in the Vedic sense of like honoring what I said, being very protective over people I love and things like that. I'm forward camera facing. But my mind is a very Virgo Mercury mind. So that I like to think a lot. I like to analyze situations. And you know what I mean?

It's a very like analytical mind. So both. But I don't know. I don't know. I just wanted to know what you are. We're both like earth in the tropical and fire in the Vedic. Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Like pizza and Kappa, yeah. I find in the Western world I am more like my Western sign, like that Capricorn. Like I can do business and this not. But my soul and the truth of who I am is definitely more of that Sagittarius energy. 100%. I feel the same. I wanted to just say thank you for coming. But I also wanted to ask you to let people know where they can find these resources because

they are so amazing. like your work is chef's kiss. Oh, well, I can't wait to have you on the podcast. And the best place to get the book, discover your Dharma, is you can go on I-Am-Saharroes.com slash Dharma. There's a bunch of links you get on Amazon. It's in many different languages or wherever you buy your books. I have a quiz, Dharma archetypequiz.com.

D-H-A-R-M-A-Arotypequiz.com. You can discover your unique Dharma archetype. And we can link my website where you can find everything else. My Instagram is I am Sahar Rose. podcast is highest health podcast. So, oh my goodness, it flew by. It was such an honor to be here. And I'm so excited to hear the synchronicities that came through for people while listening to this. I'm so excited too. And you are going to be on another episode because there's so much more stuff I want to know. But I just want to give people the first, you know, initial taste. Yeah,

exactly. Thank you so much for coming. You are wonderful. Thank you.