BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 90: Unlocking Authenticity, Self Expression & Not Settling for Less with Anna Kai.

Episode Date: December 8, 2024

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The force behind maybe both, whose blend of real talk style and bold takes on life have made millions captive. What is it that women are drawn to? Because a lot of people now try and do what you're doing, but it doesn't hit. I think a lot of people are like, oh, I'm going to be brutally honest and it's raw and real. And it's just like, everyone's like, okay, that was a little too real. But like, what's the upshot? I always try to leave people feeling a little bit inspired. Since making it a career, they're like, I want to do it. I'm like, do it. They're like, but how? I'm like, I'll give you the basics, but literally. there is no formula to this. You have something you need to offer the world. You've got to go discover it.

They want six-pack, six-foot, six-figure. I'm like, stop. Who are you? Life is large. Focus on something else other than the way he picks up his fork or whatever. You have a great date and you love this person. You connect and everything. And there's one thing that he does that you don't like. You're going to leave him over that. I'm probably going to get canceled for this. But today, we're diving into the unapologetic world of Anakai, the force behind maybe both. Is that the way you say it? Maybe both. Yeah.

On TikTok, whose blend of real talk style and bold takes on life have made millions captive and she is just prolific. I am so excited to speak to you because I feel like we got so much to dive into. I've got your quotes here. I've got ideas around dating over here. And before we dive in, you wanted to address a point with me about something. Girl, we got to talk about farting because you and I are going to have to agree to disagree because you stitched one of my videos last year.

And I didn't even see the stitch come through. But I was like doing a little, I was like, oh, I should like go look at Margaret's content. And it came up. I was like, oh, my God, I missed this. And I was like, I'm going to have to agree to disagree. I understand what you mean. But here's the thing. You're just like a more elegant person than I am.

And like, I'm okay with that. Like, I just kind of embrace the fact that I'm a little bit of a mess or a lot of a mess. And like, I don't know. I think it's whatever frees you for me. And for me, it's like my husband and I have no shame around one another. I love it. And I didn't grow up with that kind of house either. We were just like, whatever, it's a bodily function.

That being said, I do have women. I mean, that video, I didn't think it was going to go viral. It went viral and like I just started like fart gate. People were like, I've been married for 40 years and I've never farted in front of my husband. And I was like, girl, you do you. That is just not how I want to live, you know. There's no one right way to live.

And I think that's the important part. You know, I wanted to start it strong. And I think for people who are clicking onto this and they're like, we want to see Anna and Marguerite to talk about this, I think the reality is what are you, what is the reality you want to live in? I want to serve fantasy because I don't know why. It's just what I want to do. It's not because I feel like, I don't know, oppressed in my relationship

where I feel like he'll only like me that way. But I'm like, I don't even want to hear him farting, okay? Like I want to hear my friends farting. I want to hear my parents farting. I don't want to hear him farting because I just want to do fantasy for a little bit longer. I feel like the farting will begin at like year 30 of marriage. I'm like, let's do it. Let's do the different vibe, you know, maybe.

I had some women comment say, I've never farted in front of my husband. And I'm like, maybe they're just less nasty than I am. I don't know. I'm like prone to eating junk food. Who knows? But I just, and I think it's all about what makes you feel happy, right? And so like the fantasy frees you. For me, the mess frees me.

Exactly. That is so beautiful what you just said. I love that because for me, I'm a messy kind of, if I turn this camera around, you will be shocked by the amount of child mass, by the amount of stuff. I don't care. I'm liberal with that. But I'm like, let's serve a bit of fantasy in the relationship. It's not because of any strong rules, but I love that we disagree on that.

I have some of your quotes here, and I'd like to go through them and say our opinions and what we think. I think these are pivotal. I love your content. For example, your dream man is costing you your dream life. Tell me about that. I just think we waste so much time as women waiting around for the dream guy, the right guy to come so we can start living our lives. and I don't think it's a coincidence at all that I met my husband when I started allowing myself to live my dream life without a man in the picture. And this can come in a multitude of ways.

What I mean is a lot of times women who are very single are not doing the things they want to do because they think they need a man alongside them to do it. So I always advocate, go out and dine alone. And I don't mean sit at the bar where it's socially appropriate to dine alone. I mean go out to a nice restaurant. if you are a woman making your own money and you have enough disposable income to go to a nice restaurant on a Friday night and eat a really good omacase or anything like go do it. Who cares? Who cares what people think? Nobody else is thinking about you.

They're all way too worried about themselves. And that really freed me when I was in my 20s because I was like, I'm just going to go to a nice restaurant and eat good food and sit at a proper table by myself. and it was a little awkward at first, but then I was like, oh, this is great. Also, as a single woman, people are like, what do I do? I just like, look at my phone. You can look at your phone. Nobody said you can't look at your phone. But also, give yourself the luxury of staring into space and eating and thinking about nothing.

Like, that is an appropriate thing to do when you're out at dinner alone. We don't have the luxury these days of just sitting and doing nothing. There is just, I think, something very beautiful about just, existing without having to constantly be consuming and doing things. So the second part of that is I unfortunately know anecdotally many women who just keep waiting for that one guy that can't commit to come around. But he can commit just enough to keep them hanging on. But he's not going to commit to a real relationship, to marriage. And at every stage, you're kind of like pulling him along. Like, when am I going to meet your parents? When am I going to, you know, go back to your

hometown, when are we going to move to the next level of our relationship? And they just keep waiting around. And they're like, oh, but like if he was X, Y, and C, my life would be perfect. And then my life would begin. And then their life never, their life never begins. So stop waiting for a man to give you permission to live the life you want. The irony of it is, um, just this morning, I opened my TikTok and I said something about being the dream girl for him. I don't know, some version of that varietal. And somebody like they often do said to me, all you care about is men. how men see you and the irony. And I think you'll agree with this.

Men are so not the center of my reality to the point where I can make content about them just because it's fun and anecdotal. And I think the true freedom of living your life comes from, I don't even plan or want to get married before I did. I just met somebody that happened to, you know, align. And then suddenly not even planning to have kids, we decided to have kids. I think a lot of women write to me and they're very anxious in their attachment. They're, oh, he said this.

He sneezed. He looked at his phone. What does that mean? I'm like, girl, I don't even think about myself that much. I don't understand. Who is he? The king? I think if you have to look at the minutia, it's not actually about the minutia of your relationship.

It's about the overarching picture. Like, don't lose the forest for the trees. If you have to text me or DM me about something that your man did on Friday night at 8.15 p.m., it's like the relationship isn't working because. there's been plenty of times where my husband is fucked up or I fucked up and it's just like, we're in the same boat. We're in this together. It's not that we're infallible and you meet your dream man and you meet your husband and

everyone's perfect. It's like, shit happens. But at the end of the day, you have to be in it together. I can't remember who said this. This was not me. But somebody said, you got to be in the boat together, growing the same direction. And a lot of times, like, you're in the boat as the woman and he's on the dock. And you're like, get in.

The water's fine. And he's like, I don't know. You know, and you're like, look, I'm rowing. And I'm doing all the work. And you're just hoping he gets in the boat. And he just never does. So move on. There will be a man who gets a boat.

He's got to be in the boat with you. In fact, he's got the one who's like, I got the boat. I built the boat. Get in. Get in. Let's go. It shouldn't be a problem to you. Exactly.

For me, it's funny. The other side of it is that transparency in the relationship where people say to me, oh, does your husband watch your content that you try and, you know, tell people how to be with men? I'm like, baby, when I try and show him my content, I'm like, babe, look, he's like, I see enough of you at home, yeah? Just I don't need, I don't need to watch more of you, please. I think people misunderstand the intimacy that you have within a relationship like you would have or I would have within that. Yeah, but also like I, all these stories I tell and same with you, I'm sure, it's like, I tell my husband, I've told my husband all of these stories prior to putting them online.

Yeah. I have nothing to hide. And if you have something to hide, that's when it's still a present reality. Like, I think it's very healthy to talk about exes. If you're obsessively talking about them, like there's a balance and everything, that also isn't great. But I talk about my exes and not my actual present life as much because it's in the past. I don't necessarily make my own life privy to public consumption because it's a part of my

life right now. I don't really want people dissecting it. But like, you can dissect what happened in the past all you want. I'm over it, right? And I've learned so much from it. And there was a period of time where I wasn't over it. And I probably wasn't okay talking about it. Yeah. Like in my, in my book, I talk about how I basically stalk the sex of mine to a restaurant because he didn't confirm the time with me. And I was trying to act all casual and cool standing there like, I just came here. accident. Like, I would never, I would never do that now. And that's the irony of the funniness of that story, because I can relate to these girls in their 20s. And you talk a lot about that. I mean, what mistakes do you see girls in their 20s making?

First of all, we've all been that girl waiting around for the guy. I think I personally, and I think this still happens to people in their 20s, is that you kind of take what they say as the truth and not what they do. I had so many men who would say all these grand things. And in the beginning, they're love bombing you and they're so into you. And I had a guy when I implemented my rule. I didn't want to hook up with anybody before the boyfriend, girlfriend, label. And we had dated once and then it didn't work out. We never hooked up. And then I dated somebody for a year and a half. And that ended. And then I ran into him again, right? The first guy. So it was like, oh, my God, is it meant to be? It was like a holiday.

Hollywood romance. Like we ran into each other in the street in New York. And I was like, oh, how cool would it be if it worked out again? So we went on another date and it felt familiar. And he was like, we should really actually try this time. Like I'm ready. He was almost a decade older than me. So it was like, honey, if you're not ready at 36, what are you doing? Right. So he was like, we should try again. I'm really serious this time. I was like, cool. Let's do it. He was like, oh, by the way, do you want to come to Miami with me this weekend? I'm just going for a trip. I was like, no. I'm I'm not flying on a whim to Miami with you. I have my own life. I was a real estate agent at the time. So I worked a lot on the weekends. And I was like, I have to work. I have a life here. But when you get back from Miami, let's give this a real shot.

And he left from Miami. And I never heard from him again. So all that garbage that he was spewing to me at the dinner table with complete talk. Do not listen to what they say. Watch what they do. And unfortunately, watching what they do takes time. so many people want to skip to the good part, and you just can't. It takes so much time to get to know somebody.

I mean, I've been gaslit by men who the first two months, they're amazing. And then after two or three months, the honeymoon phase is over. It's like, what happened? You're a completely different person. Did you hear about the whole Zach Bryan scandal? So I don't know what makes it over because we're literally on opposite sides of the world. But Zach Bryan is a country singer. And his ex-girlfriend, Brianna Chicken Fry, Brianna LaPaglia is a podcaster.

And she came out and it's insane. But she basically was like, he gaslit me. He was amazing for four months and then slowly removed me from everything that made me who I was. She renegotiated a contract with her podcast studio. And he said, I will double what they're paying you so you can stop working. That's not a man who wants to provide for you. That's a man who wants to control you and remove your ability to be a free woman. So she was like, it was insane.

You know, for the first four months, he was perfect. And then after that, it was like you turned into this monster. So you got to give it time. What? This is, that's a crazy story. Honestly, it happens so much more than people think the whole provider looking like Guy is actually the one who's trying to control you. How did you wake up?

the reality. Like, how did you start to see? Because I get that question too. Like, how did you get this? Where did you start to understand? How did you develop your understanding and emotional intelligence? I don't know. Am I emotionally intelligent now? Thank you. I think it was just, I dated a lot of guys because I was looking for a provider, right? I wanted somebody who was well to do. I wanted somebody financially stable, but I wanted somebody who also supported me in my dreams, which were very unconventional in my 20s. I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be an entertainment and media.

And it was a uphill battle for a very long time. And I dated a lot of guys who would say to me, don't worry about it. Even if you never work and never make a dollar from acting, I got you. And I never could quite figure out why that felt so reductive to me. But then I realized when I met my husband, And he was like, he never flashed around his money or anything. I had no idea what he made.

He's actually very, very frugal. So when I found out what he made, I was like, why are you living in this shit hole? I thought you made so much less. He's the only guy I know who lived in the same apartment in New York City, rented it for nine years. That's insane in New York. In such a transient city, nobody stays in the same apartment for nine years. He was like, well, it was fine. I was like, yeah, it's the bare minimum.

I mean, you have heat, I guess. But he was the only person who, who was like, I support you and I think you could be really great at what you want to do. And that's so, it's such the bare minimum that it's shocking that I was thinking of considering the alternative. But I had one X that I was living with who was a provider and he was like, I got you. But I don't know if your talents are being well used in this crazy dream of yours. He's like, you need to be realistic.

And I think you could be really great at sales. That's what everybody would say to me when I was like, I want to be an actress. They were like, well, why don't you go into like med sales? I'm like, you won't believe it. I had exactly the same situation with an ex. He was like, you should do real estate because you're really good at talking. I'm like, I don't want to sell houses. Thank you.

And he's like, but you should. Like, why? But like, why? Because it'll provide you a stable income and it'll make sense to people. Like I was just, so he was the first person, my husband, who was like, you should go for it. You should start the blog. You should just see how long it takes. He's like, I think you're going to get somewhere.

I just don't know how long it's going to take to get there. And I don't know if it's going to be in what you're currently doing, but you'll get there. And I did. And I didn't even believe him. He was the one saying to me when I first started my blog in 2020, he was like, what if you went viral one day? Like, what if you had a million views? I was like, shut up. Do you know how hard that is?

I was like, there in my 200 view hell, I was like, honey, if I get 10,000 views one day, I will be happy, right? The bar was so low. I thought if I could get 10,000 followers and some steady views. It's in the thousands. We can make a part-time income. I'll be happy. But he was like, no, I think you could really do something. So when I went viral, it felt like a collective win.

And that's what it should feel like. You should be with a guy who wants you to win and you want him to win. and when you guys win, it's like we're both winning. Oh my gosh. We're the same person on different sides of the planet because my husband was like, just get a viral video. I'm like, like, just get a viral video. You just get a viral video.

Like it's not just, are you sane? He's like, just get a viral video. But he was always supportive in that. He won't watch my stuff. He's like, I get enough of you, as I said. But he is very supportive in me just doing it. He's like, go girl, you do it. Can I ask about your relationship with your parents in terms of,

I often find the paradigm of how you see the world and men you want to be with is relevant to how you saw your father. I have amazing parents. So my trolls love to be like, she's got straight up daddy issues. I bet she didn't have a dad in her life and whatever. And I was like, oh, no, I'm fucked up. But I know why I'm fucked up, but it's not because of them. They were amazing parents.

They still are. They're my best friends. I'm an only child. They are Chinese immigrants. Oh, there we go. Okay. Okay. So I don't know this stereotype. I'm like, but I'm so close with them. And they struggled when they first came here to give me exactly what I needed and wanted. And my dad was always a provider in the sense that he just, he took pride in being able to provide for my mom and I. And my mom was by no means. I mean, immigrants don't have that like provider, homemaker. Everybody's just doing everything. They both worked a bunch of jobs or whatever. Eventually, My dad got into a career where my mom could do part-time work.

And so he was like, why don't you? They never had nannies. So I would go with her to her job. So she started to work less when I got into like my early teens. But my dad was the type of person. And I'll always remember the story. He took me skiing when I was eight years old. Skiing is a really expensive sport.

And we did not have enough money to do it. all the time, like the way these kids are these days that have, you know, wealthy parents who can buy all the ski equipment and they go for every other weekend. They're in the mountain skiing. So my dad wanted me to have like an American experience skiing. So he took me skiing once and he took my two friends and they had a single mom who was living with her grandmother or her mother at the time. So it's all of us going skiing. And he did not have that much money. This was like, we're going to go skiing once and that's it. So he was like, he paid for her kids to go skiing because he was like, she doesn't have a husband in her life effectively.

Like, I'm not going to, he just was like, there was something in him that would not let him just watch her pay for her own kids. I don't know what it was. And it wasn't anything weird. I mean, my mom was there or whatever, but he was just like, you know, that's what you do is a man. It's masculinity. That's real masculinity. That's what it is. Yeah. He took pride in that. And I always remember that because we didn't have a lot. It's so easy to be generous when you have a lot. But I was like, you know, we, this was the only time we ever went skiing and he paid for the kids. And that was what I grew up with. And so I didn't actually think men were shitty, honestly, until I got to college. I went to NYU. And I was in the city and I started dating these guys. that just really, I mean, the bar is in hell, right? The bar is non-existent.

And so I just remember I had this one X in college my senior year. And I was drunk coming home from a party one night. He was also drunk. We were going back to my place. And I really wanted to get some drunk munchies. I was super hungry. And it was 2 a.m. in New York City. And the only thing that's open around us that we can afford is these halal carts.

Yeah, I don't know if you. They're just basically like food trucks, right, with chicken and rice. Back then it was $5. I tell the story sometimes and people are like, where do you get a $5 chicken and rice? Inflation has caught up to all of us. I think it's $10 now. But back then it was a $5 chicken and rice. And I remember one night we are drunk.

We're back at my place and I was like, I'm so hungry. Can we go downstairs and get chicken and rice? And he was like, oh, I'm not really that hungry. I was like, that's fine. You could just come with me, right? Like, you don't have to get one. I'll get one. And he was like, okay, but you're not paying, or okay, but you're paying for it.

And I didn't ask him to pay for it. I was going to pay. I mean, this was college, so nobody had any money, so I didn't expect anybody to pay for me. It's like, $5, right? And I was just so livid because I was like, you were willing to let me go outside in York City at 2 a.m. alone. just so you wouldn't have to feel obligated to pay for my chicken and rice. Like, what kind of man are you?

So it's really hard going from my dad to that, right? And I don't know what I said. I said a lot of angry things to him and then I marched down and I got my chicken and rice and he kind of sheepishly followed me. But it's like the men that would rather save $5 than be fucking men, disgusting. I think it's such a big point that I consider. and he tried to make. I grew up immigrant mom. I'm first generation immigrant, single parent. And when people are like, oh, you just want men to pay for everything. No, baby, I know my

grandma did it by herself. My mom did I know how to do it by myself. I can provide for children myself, your children, someone else's children, no problem, okay? The point I'm trying to make is if a man starts a family or a man has a, like in your situation, a girlfriend and she wants to have some damn food, then that masculinity element should be present. And I think that's such an amazing role model that you had with your father. But that's again, another commonality we have, the immigration story. Yeah. And not to say that all immigrant dads are great because trust me, I know plenty of fucked up ones. Yeah. But my dad was great. My mom was great. And they have a partnership. He always said to me, he was like, just because I'm the one working and making the money does not

mean I get the right to control you and your mom. This is a partnership. She does a lot of work that she might not be getting paid for, but we would have to pay other people to do. And so his greatest fear when I was in my 20s and a struggling actress was that I would get into a relationship with a man who was far wealthier than I was and used his money to control me. He was like, and so I think he was like, I'm never retiring as long as you don't have a stable income. What an incredible human being. Like, honestly, I know. Wow, you're lucky. Next quote, next quote, my dad, I don't know, where's my dad, I don't know where he is, but we move. Next quote is, men need to feel like they can lose you in order to keep you.

If a man feels like he can do better, he will go and do that. You said that. Let's expand, because I agree. Yeah, I think, and I think this is a little bit of a controversial opinion, but I think men only settle when they feel like they can do no better. Correct. And women will settle down for the comfort of commitment. Even if it might not be the right guy or the perfect guy, I think women are taught that we should just be happy with what we have.

Whereas men, they don't take the whole dating process so personally. Every woman I know who has ever been young and dating in their 20s and especially in these big metropolitan areas has had to go. to therapy because of their relationships and dating. And most guys, I mean, my husband was single for four and a half years when I met him. I was like, how did that make you feel? He was like, yeah, there were some lonely nights. Sundays weren't great, but it was fine. I knew I'd find her. I'm like, what? Like, why can't we think like that? Right. I'll find her. I was like, you didn't meet anybody in that four and a half years that you wanted to commit to. He was like, there were a couple girls that I dated that were almost there, but I just was like, no, I'm not

settling. So I think men, and I see this all the time, it's like the women are just, first of all, I don't think men ever date somebody that they have to convince themselves they're attracted to, which I think women do, because they're like, okay, I can't have everything. So if I can't have everything, then maybe I'm not that attracted to him, but he's a great guy. He's such a good guy, and he's financially stable and all this stuff. And like, men don't do that. They want everything. And if they don't get everything, then they don't commit.

So I think women should start acting like that. And I think a lot of men act like that because they have done the internal work and the external work to be valuable citizens of society. They feel valuable without a woman so they don't need to settle for a woman that they don't want. Whereas women have been taught forever since we were little girls, especially you and I, millennials. that are value lies in whether a man wants us. I mean, your job is great if you have a nice job, but it's not that important.

I think that's changing now for younger generations, but I think that's why we take so much stock in our relationships. I think that's why you see women uprooting their lives to go where the man wants. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't. I was never going to let a guy move me from the New York City area. If he was a West Coast guy, it was like, it's probably not going to work out if you want to move back to the West Coast. my family's here. I grew up here. So don't settle is the point because they're not settling for you.

So you shouldn't settle for them. 100%. I think a lot of people talk about long distance relationships when I met my husband in London. That's where I'm from. He moved to Australia. That's where he's from. He's also, his parents are Chinese as well. But he lives, lived in Australia. He moved here and he said, come with me. And I said, that's nice. Enjoy, but I'm not moving because I'm your goal. girlfriend, like that I would love to, but I'm not, my mom is here. I only moved when we got married, not like we got married and I moved, but when that plan, when he proposed started to happen, a lot of women move here, there everywhere. And I try and encourage them to understand that the quicker you get rid of that person who's wasting your time, the quicker you can find somebody else. And that's

what men do. If she's not the top that he can get, he won't be with her. If she lives in another area, men don't have this problem. I've never heard a man say, what do we do about long distance relationships. They just don't have them or they like see you when they're in that city and see her when they're in their own city. Like they don't compromise. The next one is sometimes he wants you because you're convenient, not because you're irreplaceable. I love that one. Yes. Yeah. I mean, if you're always going to be available to him whenever he texts you, you are entertainment. You are not a relationship to him. If he only hits you up on a Friday night after 10 p.m. It doesn't matter what he says to you in bed at midnight that you're so special.

And I've heard it all. It's like, I really like you or, you know, I really love you even. It's just not the right time. But you're so special. You're not that special. You're just, he couldn't find better at the bars that night. So he was like, eh, better her than nothing. And don't let yourself be entertainment.

Don't let yourself be convenient. I am highly inconvenient. My husband knows that. and I have become even more inconvenient as I get older with everyone. If you don't want to go to a party, don't go just because you think it'll hurt your friend's feelings, okay? Because you are sacrificing your time, which is the only commodity that you cannot get back. You can always make more money.

You're never going to get your time back. So stop wasting your time with people you don't like at places you don't want to be at across all phases of life. I mean, I have girlfriends who are like, oh, I have this run from college and this group of girlfriends and we don't really get along anymore. But like I feel like we need to keep each other in our lives because it's been so long. I'm like, no, you don't enjoy each other's company anymore. We are in our mid-30s now.

It is perfectly acceptable to end that relationship and find new friends. And then the question is always like, well, it's so difficult to make friends in your 30s. I'm like, then don't make friends. Focus on your life. Find one friend that you click with. the need for this insane group of friends in your 30s just means, I think that you're not willing to focus on your own life as much. Like you need this whole social circle to kind of keep you occupied. Find a hobby. You know, do better at your job. Figure out how you want to be on your own because

like at the end of the day, friends are friends, but like you should be a person without them. you should, if you have a husband, if you're lucky enough to have a husband and you like him, build something together. Like we have very few friends in our lives because it's hard, right? It's hard to find somebody that you click with as a couple together. And it's also hard to find time these days. So I just don't, I don't do anything I don't want to do. And women should especially not be making themselves so available to men who would never do the same for you.

Never. And the next quote I had from you is about fake friends. Don't less friends is better than fake friends. And I avoid this question with like a long poll because everybody asks me, what about friends? How would you find friends, female friends, companionship? And I don't want to tell them, look, baby, I don't have friends. Okay, so I can't help you.

But I found that in my 30s now, I can't remember who said this, but it was some tycoon of business. they said you can do two things well in your life. That could be business and your family. That could be your relationship and hobbies. That could be two things in your 30s. You can do well and optimize for me. That's my work. And that's my family. That's it. And I sometimes see my friends and the two or three friends that I have. I say, you know, I love you and I'll see you. And we talk sometimes. But I often used to, and I still do sometimes wish that I had this gaggle of friends, you know, like the sex in the city. Like she's like this and I'm like this.

this and, you know, we all compliment each other and we're all like a vibe and we all hang out every Saturday. But the reason I don't advise on the friendship part is because I don't feel like I've got it mastered, but you've just made me feel like maybe, maybe that's okay. Maybe it's okay to not be friends.com all the time. But you have to be okay with being alone. And I think that's the thing that women and men are not okay with being. I remember my grandpa saying he passed away. last year at the age of 95 and my grandmother died in a car accident when she was 50. So he lost his wife and then lived for another 40 some years, right? And he said to my dad one day, he was like,

because he was so, he was such a light person. He never let what happened to him defeat him. He just did what he wanted to do. He lived through the cultural revolution. He went to a work camp and like came back and just refuse to be bitter because of it. And obviously losing my grandma was heartbreaking. And he just said part of getting older, especially when you're 80s and 90s, is just learning how to be alone and learning to be okay with loneliness. And I always thought that was really beautiful because let's say you feel alone. There's something magical about that too because I think you have to sit with your own thoughts.

And it's only when you sit with your own thoughts. Can you really hear what's going. on. I only realized truly how messed up I was once I started dating Dave, my husband, because it was the first time in my life that I didn't have to focus on fixing the relationship. So it's all quiet all of a sudden. And now I'm focused on what's going on inside my head. And I lost my shit. A year and a half after I met him, I developed insane, obsessive compulsive disorder in the way, not in the cute way where people like, I'm so OCD. I need to like organize things. No, I thought I was going blind for a year.

It's like health OCD. So you just constantly, I was like, I think I'm going blind. Like I think my vision's regressing and I would go to every single doctor. And it was so debilitating because you just keep thinking about it over and over again. It's the weirdest thing. And then COVID kind of snapped me out of it and just therapy and everything. But I actually felt like mentally better about myself when I was in my 20, because I was not focused on myself.

I was focused on fixing the relationship. When you have to focus on yourself, that's really hard. It's so easy to try and fix other people and external things that are outside of yourself. It's really hard to sit with yourself. And I think that's why people are like, what about friends? Like, how do I make more friends? I feel so alone. Why is it bad to be alone?

I actually really cherish my alone time these days. Like I'm going to L.A. next week for a trip, I'm going to be alone for most of it other than when I'm working and recording. and I relish in that. There is a point at which I think everybody gets to a point where they're like, oh, it's actually not that bad being alone. I'm pretty cool to be with. Read a book.

Babe, you know, I don't have regrets because I don't like the feeling of having them because everything's a learning experience. The one regret I have is not cherishing my alone time before I had children. And I know that once my children grow up, I'm going to regret the time I spent with them sometimes wishing I had alone time. like headspace. You just can't not focus on them. You're always focusing on the well-being of someone else. I look back on times when my husband traveled for business and I came on the trip with him. Let's say we went, I don't know, actually we went to LA once and I had two days by myself and I was like,

I'm so bored. What I would do, what I would do to have those two days, what I would do, honestly, oh my gosh. And it's just like the learning of it because once it's taken away, you appreciate it. And it's like the cycle and it's so beautiful to enjoy lonely. or just to enjoy yourself because you are as valuable as your friends, you know, and time with you by yourself. You would have lived 8,000 lives with two days alone in L.A. now, but we don't appreciate it when we have it. This is how I feel about COVID. I spent four months at the height of COVID freaking out that civilization was ending and we were all going to die. And had I known that I would, this is not to diminish the fact that plenty of people did die and affected so

many people, but I was okay. My family was okay. Had I known that, I was quarantined with my parents and he wasn't my husband then, but my now husband, in their house with plenty of space in the suburbs and nothing to do and no responsibilities. I was like, I should have enjoyed that time so much more because when are you going to be in your 30s living full time with your parents? I would have learned how to cook all of my mom's recipes. I would have built stuff. I don't know. My dad could have taught me how to woodwork. Who knows? But I would have spent that time so much better rather than just sitting around for four months being like, oh my God, like, what do I do? What do I do? Like, you can't do anything. It's a fucking pandemic. So just make some low main, okay? Be happy.

Girl. Oh my God. I hard relate. The next quote is something like just, it resonates. Giving him the best version of you doesn't mean you get the best version of him. Women don't understand this. They don't understand how doing more. giving more, being more for somebody will not gain or got another same result, right? Yeah, and I did this. I remember the guy dated prior to meeting Dave. I was such a good version of myself. And I just felt like I gave him everything.

I was like, I was perfect in this relationship. And he still left me. And he was horrible to me. And, you know, not all of it was horrible. but he was really not good to me in the way that I think he's probably good to a future partner or whoever he's with right now. And it was because he didn't really want to be with me. So it didn't matter how much I allowed his bad behavior.

He had substance issues and sort of anger issues. And I just sort of allowed it. I was like, oh, he needs, you know, he's got a stressful job. He needs a way to relax. Like, that's fine. I would never put up with that shit now. I'm sorry. If Dave is coming home every night and drinking a bottle of wine, I'm like, you are going to rehab. That is not good behavior. And you're going to die and I'm going to be a widow. And I did not sign up for this. So I don't encourage you being the worst version of yourself to match his worst version because then I think women do that too. They're like, I really want to be with this guy. But he's not giving me that much. So I'm going to play this game where I pretend like I don't care and I'm going to give him BS to and like how many hours should I wait to text him back? I'm like, Don't.

Just block him. Just move on. Life is too fucking short. You could die next week. I always say this. You could die next week. Yeah. And if you did, would you want your last week on earth

messing around with a dude and wondering if you should wait three hours and 15 minutes or three hours and 45 minutes to text him back? But that's what we do, the minutia of it. Oh, it's, yeah. And no matter what you do or how good you are, you will not make the guy who doesn't want you, want you. They don't, I think it comes from the feminine, you know how you said, we will convince ourselves that a guy, despite not being our ideal or even attractive to us, might be a guy for us. We're thinking they think the same. We're thinking that maybe if I do enough, he's just going to

be like, all right, then I'll go with her. But do you really want that for your life? Oh my God. Imagine. Well, like, how do you want your story told? Yeah. You want to get to the altar and be like, yeah, it didn't work out the first time. but then he couldn't find better so he came back to me and now we're meant to be. And that happened to do. And then the marriage doesn't work. It's so much easier to break up with a boyfriend than to divorce a husband. So if it really didn't work the first time, look at it.

I'm not saying like, oh, we met in high school. Because everybody loves to be telling me about the exception. But what about this situation? Of course there are exceptions to the rule. This is life. It's large. I'm not talking about, oh, we met in high school at 13. dated and it didn't work out. And then we met at 26 and it worked out. I'm like, okay, fine,

fine. I'm glad it worked for you. But the majority of people who break up the first time, after they've seriously given it a shot as functioning fully formed adults, there is a reason you broke up. Don't get back together. Because it's like how they say when you get divorced, it's just easier to get divorced again. You know what it's like to break up. I had a girlfriend go back to her boyfriend, literally 12 times. We counted it. And every time she would tell me, this is it, this is it. And he would do that thing where he was like, I'm sorry, it was a piece of shit.

I'm going to be better. This time, this time, this time, this time. And every time he would fuck up again. And she kept going back to him. And the final straw, I think, unfortunately, her father passed away. And he had this insane reaction to it. He was like, you know, you're not paying enough attention to me effectively. because you're so consumed by your grief that our relationship is suffering because of it.

And she finally woke up. Unfortunately, it takes sometimes a come to Jesus moment like that. Like, I'm like, if your father had not passed away, would you still be with him? She was finally like, oh my God, this is the worst moment of my life. And you are making it about you. And that's who you've always been. I've just been too naive to understand it. The universal God has a way of showing you.

Next quote is don't ask for closure from the man who wrote you in the first place. Oh my God. Why do people think, should I call him and ask him why he left me? Why do you need to know? The answer is he doesn't love you. And that's all you need to know. Because if you truly did love you, nothing else would really matter. People overcome a lot of things.

I'm not saying love is the answer. I think there's a lot of things that need to happen in order to make a marriage work. But I'm saying, when you are dating somebody and he left you and he's ambiguous about it because a lot of men and women don't want to admit the real reason why they're leaving you is because they're just not that into you. They're like, it's me. It's confusing. It's tough to say that to someone.

It's tough. Yeah. And I think here's the thing is it's tough because all of us want to be liked at the end of the day, even by people we don't like because it's some sort of ego thing. so men do that. They don't realize they're doing it. They're not telling you the real reason. And you're like, oh, I'm so confused. He said I was so great, but he's still leaving me. Why? I'm like, because he doesn't think you're that great, but he doesn't want you to hate him. So the best thing you can do in this situation is give yourself closure and be like, this man didn't love me. I don't like

him. I'm going to move on. You give yourself closure. Like, take the agency back. Stop giving it to him. So many women go back and they're like, I just need one more conversation. One more hookup. Break up. Stop having sex with people after you break up, okay? Go have a one-night stand with somebody else. Yeah. Absolutely so easy.

Don't do that. Why do you think we need that closure from that person? Because I think if we get closure from that person, it's going to make us feel better about the fact that it wasn't us, that it wasn't personal, that maybe it really would. was just him and you can kind of live in that fantasy a little bit longer. And I think it's really healthy for women to admit to themselves that I was not the right person for this man. I was not good enough for this man. And that's okay. I said this story last year where I got broken up with a guy who I dated for six weeks. It was such a short relationship, but he gaslit me the entire six weeks. He texted me from morning until night every day, all day for six weeks. And

and then ghosted me on Valentine's Day. And I called him out on it. And that's when he was finally like, I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm like, what have you been doing for the last six weeks? And I was really hurt. He was like, I'm not ready for a commitment. I was like, your actions totally spoke differently. I should have known at the time that a man who's going to text you incessantly,

like 100 texts a day is not stable. But I was young. I was like, maybe I'm just that great. So I said, I can't date you if you're not going to commit to me. I was heartbroken, but I left. And I was really proud of myself for doing that. And then later on, I realized he went on to date somebody in the public eye who is an influencer and pretty well known. And she's super hot.

And I was like, honestly, I was looking at her. I was like, I probably would have left me for her too if I were him. He wanted a super hot girl with tits who was famous. Like that was just not me. Okay. And that's okay. Like people are like, why are you so self-deprecating? Like, oh my gosh.

I mean, you are kind of hot and kind of famous. So I don't know. But I wasn't at the time. Okay. I think I'm, you know, I love who I am now, but I wasn't that at the time. At the time I was a struggling actress as a real estate broker in New York. city. So he didn't know that. I was going to be here one day. So it is to me a little bit. I'm like, I don't know if I believe in karma, but like it's a little bit of safe justice. Yeah, I love that.

And he ended up breaking up with him and he had this huge scandal around his career. So I was like, honestly, like, look, I think what you wanted was valid. But it was really freeing to know that it was me, that I wasn't good enough. Because then what you do is you say, I wasn't good enough for him, but I'm going to be more than good enough for somebody else. I think there's something to the ego, isn't it? Like to accept that we're not good enough for some guy. Yeah. That we almost want him to be like, okay, yes, I want you.

And we're like, well, I don't want you then. You know, like there's something that we can't believe that just some chat, as you say, does not want you. Well, it's like how online trolls, they always want the last word. So sometimes I respond back because it's fun. But they'll never let you have the last word because they want to feel like they're the ones controlling the shit. And it's the same. If you go back to a man and you want to hear that he wants you, but you can say, no, this

was my decision that's somehow going to make you feel better. Like it doesn't change the situation. Get over your ego. Your ego is going to do the most harm to your dream life. And I think everybody who I meet who does what we do really had to get over themselves because we all started with zero followers and a dream looking bat-shit crazy to everybody in our personal lives. Like, you're going to do this. Like, we're both educated women. You're going to start posting videos. Like, that's what you're doing with your life. Like, yeah, it is. Like, people are

going to say what they're going to say, but you got to live your life for you and get over your ego. It's not for you. It's for everybody else. And just, you know, that's all I have to say on. It's a perfect place to pivot to the thing that I'm interested in. in and so my listeners will have to just be interested with me and that is your career. I find women's career is so inspiring that as much as I like to talk about men, they're great, cool. I find it really, really interesting to talk about how did you find your place in what you're doing right now?

When did it click? Like, yep, this is what women want to see because your thing is advice that is unfiltered, raw. It's strong, but also you're doing your makeup. Like, how did that even come about? randomly. I think if something isn't working in your life, just try different things. Never be afraid to reinvent yourself. I tried to be an actress for all of my 20s. Then COVID hit. I turned 30 in October of 2020. Really sad 30th birthday because nobody can see anybody. And I was at a quarter life crisis. I left my job in real estate. We'd move to a different state. And I just thought,

what do I want to do with my life? Well, it would have made sense to people for me to get my real estate license again and practice in this new state. In the U.S., you have to get re-licensed every time you move to a different state. And I was just like, I really don't want to do this. I was only doing real estate because it was a good living while I was pursuing my dream. And if I don't have this dream of mine, I don't want to do real estate because it was what I was good at. And so I just thought, I would love to be an influencer back then in 20, 20 TikTok was starting to come about, but it was very short form dance videos. I think the influencer that we thought of back then was very much Instagram models and

clothes and home decor. It was very aesthetic. So I was like, I'm going to create an Instagram and try to be a home decor blogger. And I did that for about a month. And I was like, I cannot decorate my house anymore. I was in a very small house. I was like, this is insane. Who the hell?

I was like so much respect for home decor bloggers. They literally repaint their walls every way. week. I just can't. Yeah. So then I pivoted to fashion. Lo and behold, we don't need another fashion blocker. Shocker. Shocker. I was like, this is such a saturated market. I had nothing new. My God. Yeah, because it's like, oh, that's what you do. I had nothing new to add. Like, the people who were succeeding in fashion had their own spin on it. And I was just like, this is really exhausting, but I don't know what else to do. Like, what else am I good at? And so it wasn't working.

And then I booked a call because I was just so desperate. I was like, whatever. Let me just see what happens. I booked a call with an Australian TikTok coach, actually, Tila. Shout out to Tila. And I was like, this could be a scam, but she could be great. And she was actually great. I more than got my money's worth because I still say she was the catalyst I needed because

she was like, you need to stop doing these weird transition videos, these fashion reels where you're not speaking. She heard me and she was like, I think you should speak to camera. You have the personality to do that. And I was like, okay, but like, what do I talk about? And so I was just like, all right, I had a crazy experience dating in my 20s. I have always done my own makeup because growing up in Pennsylvania in the 90s, there were not that many women who knew how to do Asian faces. So I learned how to do my own makeup. So I was like, I wanted to give people something to listen to and something to look at at the same time. So I just try that.

And I was like, let's see. And I uploaded the first video and it went viral. And I immediately was like, I'm going to pivot. This is it. This is what I found. And it just kind of took off from there. And it's been an amazing two years. It's opened up so many doors for me.

And it finally feels like I figured out what I'm supposed to be doing in life. I'm telling stories just maybe not on a set in a TV show. What do you think resonated about you? What is it that women are drawn to? Because a lot of people now try and do what you're doing, but it doesn't hit. I don't know. And people ask me this all the time. And I can only like theoretically think of, I think if I had to put my finger on it, I think I am brutally honest, but I'm kind about it. And that's what some people have said to me. They're like, you're really honest and you're saying things I don't necessarily want to hear. But I still feel better at the end of it because I know you're saying it in a kind way versus I think a lot of people are like, oh, I'm going to be brutally honest. And it's raw and real. And it's just like, everyone's like, okay, that was a little too. real, but like, what's the upshot? I always try to leave people feeling a little bit inspired. So maybe that's what it is. I feel like you're my friend as well, you know, like I've watched your content and I'm like, it's my friend, Anna, like it's my friend. She knows me, you know. That's the vibes you give, like somebody that you would genuinely know, but it's also has wisdom

that you didn't imagine that they had. And suddenly they're giving you this truth and you're like, yes, this makes sense, you know, you're not coming at people from a higher status or anything. thing we're like talking down to that's what it is. I'm not like talking down to people. I'm really coming from a perspective of I have been at the bottom truly professionally, personally. I will never judge anybody for any, any crazy dream. Like people tell me in my life, oh, should I do this? I've had so many people in my life and I bet you have in yours too since going viral, since making it a career. They're like, I want to do it. I'm like, do it. They're like, but how? I'm like, I'll give you the basics, but literally there is no formula to this. You have something unique to offer the world.

You've got to go discover it. I couldn't have gotten here without the first two years of absolute failure. And really the 10 years before those two years of failure in acting and everything. And when you think of the future and how it's going to go, do you imagine, do you ever get anxious about disclosing your private life and everything that you've got going on and your relationship now because people tell me put your husband on the podcast? I'm like, I'm not showing you guys my relationship. I think you and I'm very similar in this. I have no idea where your husband looks like even.

I at least show my husband's face on my Instagram. No, I don't think it's really ever going to come into play because it's not part of my messaging. The message is not, look how great my life is right now with my husband. The message is you can get through this. And I don't need to put my personal life. on social media for that message to be achieved. He's also a very private person. My family is very private.

I've never posted a photo or anything about my parents. They're not even on stories. My in-laws are very private. And so you have to respect that. We chose public lives. They did not. So they shouldn't be subject to public scrutiny. Occasionally when I do post a photo of my husband,

I am constantly reminded of why I don't post more because people are like, one time he's not the most fashionable. I will say he tries. Love it. He was wearing gray socks with like tan loafers, right? And I didn't care. Go off. Yeah.

People are going off in the comments on this photo of us. You're like, oh my God, like his jeans are too short. Why is he wearing gray socks with tan loafers? I was like, you know, I don't care about stuff like that if you say that about me. But like, it feels weird when they're saying it about your family. No. And the love. Yeah.

Yeah. So I just block. I just, I can't see that. No, no, no, no, no. I've got a very bad filter when people are attacking me. I'm like, maybe they're joking. I don't know. But when they come for like children, husband, mom, even friends, I'm like, no, no, no.

Exit. Yeah. Exit. I think that actually, the fact that women are picking apart your husband's socks is exactly the reason and I'm probably going to get canceled for this, but why a lot of people are single. Sox. Sox. Can I also say I hate the whole ick trend?

What's your egg? I was going to ask you about trends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you okay? Like life is large. Focus on something else other than the way he picks up his fork or whatever. These are minor trivial things to who the man is. If you have a great date and you love this person and you connect and everything and there's one thing that he does that you don't like, you're going to leave him over that. That's when people are like, oh, is it possible for women to have too high standards? I think in that situation, Yes. If you think he's just going to be Rico Suave every freaking day of your life, you are sadly mistaken. You have too high of standards. They're unrealistic. They're not even high. They're just completely unrealistic. Ridiculous. You probably do stuff that annoys him.

They want six-pack, six-foot, six-figure. I'm like, stop. Who are you? Like, Queen of Sheba. Sorry. But it's true. Okay. I'm going to tell you trends to round off what we're doing and you tell me what you think. Just dump him culture. Just dump him. He, you know, looks at you wrong. Just dump him. He did this.

Just dump him. What do you think about that? I'm not going to lie. I have no idea what that trend is. Basically, I'll tell you. Chat GPT. I said, what are the trends in dating? Okay.

Popularize on platforms like TikTok. This trend encourages individuals, especially you're meant to just end a relationship as soon as a minor flaw or disagreement arises. Because if he's not perfect, he's not the one for you. No. I mean, if you want to be single forever, Sure. If the goal is long-term monogamous marriage, you are a flawed human looking for another

flawed human to do life together with. And honestly, like some of the things that bothered me about my husband, I wouldn't say even bothered, but some of the things where I'm like, you could maybe stop wearing those ripped socks that you've had for 10 years. I think all husbands have ripped socks. Yeah. They're like, it still works. I'm like, yeah, but there's socks. Like you can afford it. He's like, yeah, but it's just the one toe that has a hole in it. The bar is in hell. But those things, the things I think about. And I think about death a lot only because I really think it kind of distills what life should be about. I think about the fact that if he were to die tomorrow, which look, my, his grandfather passed away suddenly of a heart attack

at 50. Like if he were to, if my husband were to die tomorrow, knock on all fucking wood, I would miss all of this. I would miss the ripped socks, his complete and utter disregard for fashion. The fact that I shrunk his jeans and they're a little too short and he still wears them. Those are the things I would miss. So you're going to break up with a man over being human, then you're not looking for a human. No. Like chat GPT, I don't know.

Wait for AI to get to a point where they can build you a 3D print of a man. Wait until then. Oh, I love you. Honestly, you're so cool. Next, situationships. These are ambiguous relationships lacking clear commitment. Just no. I mean, that's never going to stop, by the way.

No matter what you say, no matter what I say, people are always going to be getting into situationships, hoping they turn into relationships. And so many times women fool themselves into thinking that they are having just as much fun as the guy because it's feminism, right? Like, if he can have casual sex, I can have casual sex. I'm like, yeah, some women can, but a lot of women can't.

And if you're not one of those women, you really need to be honest with yourself. I've never actually met one. Really? Not really. Not down when it comes down to the reality of it, whereby if you asked, they did it on a college campus, 100 men, if they'd sleep with these 100 women, 100 of them said yes, except for the one who thought it was a trick question. And then they asked the women and only like three of them said yes.

but then when they said, you'd really sleep with these hundred men right now, they were like, no, we wouldn't. We're just not the same. We're built different. We have in our biology, the understanding that we, despite being on the pill or having an IUD, we could get pregnant. So we're just not that way inclined. It's much more dangerous for us just to sleep with people, you know, in our biology.

So we can't trick that. That's just a reality. So, you know, that's the fact. And I think it's weird because that's an unpopular opinion right now because it feels anti-feminist. And I'm like, no, I am the biggest feminist ever. But I don't think women need to act like men to be feminist. I think that's almost anti-feminist in itself, right? We should embrace the fact that we want meaningful, long-lasting relationships with emotional

connection that precedes the sexual and physical connection. You are more precious than a man. You are more precious by the fact that you can potentially make life. Whether you want to or not want to, you potentially can. So that's more feminist to me than saying we're just like men. I don't want to be just like men. We're not. No.

Next, two more trends. And then I want to ask you about your podcast. Dulu trend. I had actually a guest on my podcast that had a very interesting take on this. She was very fundamentally against it because she was like, oh, when women say they're delulu, it's because they're asking for something that they want, but they don't think they can get, which I actually really like that take. Look, at the end of the day, it's all semantics.

And I just kind of want to look above what it is, if you call it Delulu, if you call it a dream, if you call it unrealistic, but I'm going for it anyways, whatever you want to call it, if it's a dream of yours, go after it. Like, you can tell yourself, I'm so delulu, I'm going to be delusional, and I'm going to do all of this for myself. And that helps you get to where you need to be, then that's what you need to tell yourself. If you're saying it as a way of protecting yourself from actually not doing what you want to do and risking your ego in the meantime, then don't be delulu. I don't know. It's like that's such a – it's one of those things where we like oversimplify it. And at the end of the day, all it really means is women asking for what they want

and feeling like they deserve to ask for what they want. Last one is aura maxing, where you increase your self-awareness, maximize things like meditation and that creates an aura around you that is more attractive than your actual physicality. I am not going to lie, girl. I fucking hate friends. Are you kidding me? I've never heard of that. I mean,

that's just called being a good fucking person. What the hell? Like literally, that's just called me trying to be a good person and live my life and, you know, feel good about myself. Yeah. Whatever you want, again, semantics. You want to call it or amissing. You want to call it just being a better.

version of yourself? Oh my God. Go ahead. I want to ask you another selfish question. That is three products that I need in my life. I have forgotten what to do with my face, what I'm doing, but you are when I watch you, I'm like, she's making that look so flawless and so good. What do I need? Give me three. Okay. So you have a slick back ponytail right now. The Nexus slick stick. So affordable, smell so good. And it just is so good. Yeah. I have like I have so many baby hairs. It's just how I was born and like pregnancy. I know it's going to be crazy. After I have the kid, everybody's like, oh, my God, the baby hairs are crazy.

I'm like, my baby hair is already crazy. The Nexus slick stick is amazing for your hair. I love the origins SPF. It's the ginseng SPF. It's an, yes. And it's like low key. I'm like, I don't feel like it's like one of those like viral products, but it's so good. I'm trying to make it viral.

I use it in a lot of my videos. It's that orange bottle. And it actually only comes in one size. is already a travel size, so it's really good when you need to travel. And it's super moisturizing and it has SPF in it. And it doesn't leave a white cast, but it actually feels like you're protecting your skin. And I swear, I feel like my skin has gotten brighter after using it every day because it's actual SPF and moisturizing. And it's so good. So that's number two. Number three, it's so tough because like I have so many products I love. I have none at the moment.

Oh, my God. Well, you look great, so you probably don't need it. So I give you hair, care, skincare. Let me give you one more product. Makeup. The Laura Mercier, Caviar, matte lipstick in shade 610, oddly specific. But I swear to you, every time I wear it in my videos, everyone's always asking, what's the lip, what's the lip?

It's so good. It's like the sisterhood of the traveling pants of lipstick. It's really, it's like a pinkish nude. It looks good on everybody. it just gives the right amount of color. I swear it makes it look like I have lip injections. I don't. I have Botox, not injections.

But it's so good. So Laura Mosea, Caviar, lipstick, and shade 6.1. I love the specific nature of it because you always need to get specific. I cannot wait to get Botox again. You can't have it when you just had a baby. Christ, I cannot wait. But tell me about your podcast and where people can find you before I take up the rest of your time. I love talking to you.

I can talk to you forever. I know. I'm going to DM. me after this. I know. When are you coming to the U.S.? Literally. You can find me,

my podcast is brutally Anna. We just launched. It is a series of conversations with people in my life and some of your favorite creators talking about how they got brutally honest with themselves so that they could live the life they wanted to. And everybody I talked to started from somewhere, which was nowhere and got to be where they needed to be. And I've started to.

doing solo episodes as well. I do phone-in listener questions. And so it's just been really fun having a longer format other than my 60-second videos. So that's where you can find me in long form. In short form, I am maybe both across all platforms, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube. So that's where you can find my short-form videos. Is maybe both like makeup and advice? Is that what that means? No, it was actually, it's like a little esoteric. It's from a play that I really like and how life is maybe a little bit of both, bitter, sweet, kind of that feeling. Yeah. For some reason, I have, I get asked that so much and I still can't quite, like, every time I'm like,

what does it mean? Yeah, that's, I think my life is very bittersweet, and I think it's sweet because it was bitter. So I think life is, everything is a little bit of maybe both. I love that. Thank you for talking to me. Thank you so much.