BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko - 92: The Art of Feminine Energy: Navigating Masculine and Feminine Dynamics with Jillian Guerin

Episode Date: December 22, 2024

Jillian "Jillz" Guerin is a Nashville-based YouTuber and blogger dedicated to empowering women through personal growth, feminine energy, and wellness. Born on July 6, 1992, in California, she moved to Nashville, Tennessee, where she resides with her husband, Cole, and their two golden retrievers, Beau and Piper. In 2016, Jillian faced significant health challenges, including autoimmune and hormonal issues, which led her to explore holistic healing and reconnect with her feminine energy. This transformative journey inspired her to share her experiences and insights, aiming to help other women become their most vibrant and confident selves. Jillian launched her YouTube channel in August 2020, focusing on topics such as feminine energy, self-development, and wellness. Her content has resonated with a broad audience, amassing over 550,000 subscribers. Beyond YouTube, Jillian offers courses and digital products designed to assist women in stepping into their power. Her official website, [jillzguerin.com](https://jillzguerin.com/), serves as a hub for her blog posts, videos, and resources. She is also active on Instagram under the handle [@jillzguerin](https://www.instagram.com/jillzguerin/), where she engages with her community and shares insights into her personal journey.Through her platforms, Jillian continues to inspire and guide women worldwide toward personal empowerment and holistic well-being. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

myself and you are both in the feminine energy space. How would you summarize feminine energy because I get this question a lot? Yin and yang, right? We all have Ian and Yang. It's more about the experience rather than the end result. There's so much beauty in enjoying the journey. Why do you think women are leaning back into it or wanting to know about it when in the previous years we've been girl bossing it? I think it's because there's so many women that are just burnt out.

And then they get to where they want to go and then they realize, oh wait, I'm not actually that happy. A lot of guys are enjoying themselves, playing golf on the weekends, relaxing, and women are running around trying to run their homes, run their families. A woman's journey is learning how to surrender and learning how to experience pleasure. And I feel like a man's journey is learning how to take on responsibility. Girl, I got goosebumps. Today I want to welcome Jillian Guerin on the podcast. I'm so excited to speak to you because myself and you are both in the feminine energy space.

We talk about it a lot. And if you go on YouTube and you type in feminine energy or how to level up or how to glow up anything, you come up, my love. So you are the person I want on this podcast. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here. Amazing.

I would like to first ask you a question that I've wondered about myself. Why do you think this conversation about feminine energy is so in the zeitgeist at the moment? Why do you think women are leaning back into it or wanting to know about it? when in the previous years we've been girl bossing it to the max. I think it's because there's so many women that are just burnt out. Like there are so many women who have, like you said, been girl bossing it. And then they get to where they want to go. And then they realize, oh, wait, I'm not actually that happy.

Like, oh, wait, I'm not actually that fulfilled. Oh, wait, there's actually something missing in my life. I don't know what it is. But I know there's something missing. And I know that there's some sort of misalignment. And I think like honestly ever since 2020, I feel like there's been this big like return back to the self and return back to alignment. And I think a lot of women are feeling that. And now it's like it's starting to be like okay to be like, yes, like it's powerful to be a woman.

Like that can be an amazing thing. When you yourself started on this journey, how did it begin for you? How did you discover feminine energy and what led you to it in your personal life? Yeah, so mine's kind of a roundabout story. So in my early to mid-20s, I developed some health issues and like some autoimmune issues and just other things like hormonal problems and acne and really low libido and all those kind of things. And but especially the autoimmune issue, I had interstitial cystitis, which is like an autoimmune of the bladder. And it was just miserable. Like I was miserable every single day. And it got to the point where I was like,

okay, something needs to change. Like, this is just terrible. And so, um, unfortunately, you know, Western medicine couldn't really help me with a lot of my issues. So I turned to more of the holistic and natural path. And I kind of discovered the power and the beauty of food. And food is medicine. And so first I went down the whole rabbit hole of, okay, like I learned how to like cook for the first time and I learned about nutrition and all that. I like studied. all of these nutrition books. And then I realized through my wellness journey, I'm like, oh, wait, mindset is so important too. Like, I'm missing that part of it. And then I started digging into all of that and that led me to, you know, manifestation. And then a roundabout way

that led me to feminine energy. And I stumbled upon this topic of feminine energy. And immediately when I heard it, it just like clicked for me. I was like, oh, this is something that's missing in my life. Like, this is why I have not been feeling like, my best self. Like, it's not just food. It's not just that, oh, my sleep isn't good enough. It's like when it comes to wellness, there's such like an alignment piece that's there where if you're just misaligned in your life, then you're going to feel it in your body. And like especially as women, I feel like we pick up on that. And so for me, like all of my health issues were not just, you know, I was in my masculine energy, but my being misaligned and being in my masculine energy all the

time, it wreaked havoc on my body. And it was part of the reason I realized later on that that's why I was having so many struggles. I'm not an expert in the hormone area. Like I think you might be and all these things, but I know a lot of the masculine energy driving towards goals, achieving can spike your cortisol. Am I right in thinking that? Or what are the symptoms of masculine energy and health issues that you might have when it's too abundant in your life and you're not tapped into your feminine? What would a woman notice? I think a big one is in general just burnout. Yeah.

Like feeling burnt out every single day, tired every single day, chronic fatigue. Like feminine energy brings, feminine energy is that life force for women, right? Like, so if you don't have that, then you're going to feel really burnt out, tapped out, not inspired, not creative. You're going to lack that whole part of it. And then like you said, yes, of course, it can spike cortisol. And it can, then that can wreak havoc on your hormones as well. Wow. And like, as women, we, we do not follow the same hormonal cycle as men. Like, we do not wake up and feel the exact same way every single day. We are sort of a new person throughout our 28 dayish cycle. And you can either see that as something that makes life difficult or something that makes life exciting and something that you can like ride the wave instead of trying to fight it. So if you're a woman trying to tap into her natural cycle and rhythm, now that you're a woman, you're a woman trying to tap into her natural cycle and rhythm,

now that you've mentioned the food aspect, what would you suggest someone does? They're burnt out. They are doing too much and they are just feeling completely unaligned. What are the things that you suggest having not met this person? Obviously, you can't diagnose them. Yeah. Well, I think something specifically, like with hormones specifically is cycle sinking, which if you haven't heard of cycle sinking, it's basically just starting to live your life a little bit more according to your cycle. Okay. And just doing the best that you can. So the best way that I like to think about it and the thing for me that helps the most is there are four different phases in your cycle. So there's the menstrual phase, then that moves into the follicular phase, and then that moves into the ovulatory phase, and then

finally the ludial phase. And the follicular and ovulatory is when we tend to now, now, that moves into the ovulatory. And then, naturally be the highest energy and the highest, like, creativity and communication. Like, I scheduled this podcast so that I would be in a good phase of my cycle. So I would hopefully be a better communicator. It's not like I can't do anything in the other phases, but it's like, if I have the ability to schedule something in in a phase of my cycle, that's going to be more aligned, then I'll try to do that. So, like, follicular and obitory is much more high energy. It's much more like go, go, go, go energy. It's much more like, I want to be seen. I can be seen. And then in the ludial phase, in the menstrual phase, that's when we tap into more of that rest

energy. And so it's not natural for us to be go, go, go during that time. Like, it's actually very misaligned with our energy and our cycle. That's when we need to go inward. That's when we need to reflect. That's when we need to really listen to our intuition. That's when we need to nurture ourselves instead of focusing on nurturing other people, husband, kids, whatever, that's a time to really tune in and go inward. And when you do, you'll find that when you start the next cycle over again and you reach that next like follicular phase where your energy is higher, you're just feeling so good again. And you can give so much back to the world because you gave to yourself during those inward moments. And so when you're going through those cycles,

I know the luteal phase is that the last one, the fourth one, that is supposed to be the spicy one, isn't it? Women talk about that being really difficult to navigate. Yeah, that's like the PMS. Yeah, you're overeating, random foods, you suddenly fall off your diet, you've attacked your neighbor, you've like done everything, everything wrong because you're burning yourself out. How would you advise women to, like, what should they eat? How much should they sleep in all those different cycles? I'm asking this for myself. I need to know because, yeah. Yeah. So like in all the different cycles. And again, I'm not an expert on this. This is just something that I've incorporated into my life.

But in general, like you said, the ludial phase, we tend to want to eat more. That's because our calorie intake actually, like, our calorie needs increase, not by a ton, but it actually does increase. I think it's like anywhere from 75 to 275 calories a day. I'm not sure. That's not my expertise. But we actually do crave more food. And there's, like, a reason for that. We need more nourishment. So we're really like listening to our bodies. Like our bodies are not stupid. They know what they're doing.

I think sometimes like, you know, we live in this world where it's like very masculine structures. You know, eat the same every single day or not the same, but like same amount of calories and we're going to get eight hours of sleep at night. And that's just not how women operate. You know, when we're in our ludial and menstrual phases, we might notice that we need more sleep. And that's okay.

And I think it's important to just know that so that we're, you know that we're, you know, we don't beat ourselves up for it. Like, oh, I'm being so lazy. I need nine and a half, ten hours of sleep. Like, no, your body's just doing its work. And like, this is, you know, feminine energy is creation energy. Like, it is death and rebirth. That is feminine energy.

And that is what your body is doing. It's like, allow yourself to embrace that. Like, that is a beautiful part of you. How would you summarize feminine energy? Because I get this question a lot as well. What is feminine energy and masculine energy for someone who's clicked on this podcast? They've not heard of it before. They haven't watched our content.

What are we talking about? I think the easiest way to describe it, especially to someone new, is yin and yang, right? We all have yin and yang. Feminine energy is the yin. Mascual energy is the yang. And we all need at least a little bit of that to be well-balanced, happy whole people. But in general, women tend to naturally have stronger feminine energy. and in general, there's always exceptions, masculine energy, or men tend to naturally have more,

like, stronger masculine energy. And the feminine energy is that yin, it's that part of you that's playful and, you know, mysterious and creative and intuitive and listening to your emotions, listening to how you feel, it's empathetic, it's all of that good stuff, right? And then the masculine energy is all the other beautiful stuff that we need. It's, the action, it's the structure, it's the providing, it's the protecting, it's the practical nature, it's the thoughts, it's not the feelings. That's the difference between feminine energy and masculine energy. And if you are a woman in your masculine, is that a problem? Can you, is that a way to live or would you encourage someone to try and delve into their feminine? Most women are

naturally more at peace when they're in their feminine energy most of the time, but not all. And it is totally okay if there are some women that don't, you know, feel that way. Like that's most of the population, but not all. And so it's important to like listen to your own body and really figure out what's in alignment with you. Yeah. You know, like for most women, it's going to feel good to be in their feminine energy when you do those practices to be more in your feminine energy, it's going to feel life-giving to you. Whereas if you give that same practice to someone who is a naturally more masculine person, like, you know, for my husband or something, like it wouldn't give him the same life force energy. Like I think a good way to put it is like,

how do you get that life force energy? And like for me, if I were to like go dance upstairs for an hour, like I would just feel so good. I would feel like just so tapped in, tuned in. Like I would just feel so good that would bring me so much pleasure. But then, you know, someone else or doesn't have to be dancing specifically, but that's just a great practice that I really like. But then, you know, if my husband were to go to do that, you'd be like, this just drains my energy. Like, I don't want to do this. I was going to ask you, what are some of the feminine energy practices for someone who wants to tap in? But before you tell me those, it was interesting. I was listening to the other day, Alison Armstrong, she was talking about masculine energy as

productivity and feminine energy as connectivity. So anything that makes you feel connected, like dancing, like, I don't know, cooking, like conversation, that's connecting. And masculine energy, even in a woman, is productivity. Like, I've got to do this, this, this. And sometimes she was saying that when a woman wants to connect, but a man wants to be productive, that's when the masculine and feminine clash because she's like, let's go for a walk.

And he's like, yeah, how long around the block and back? Or are we losing, you know, weight? what are we doing? Are we training for something? And then she feels not loved and not seen because she's connecting and he's being productive and he thinks she's like crazy and not doing much. But what are some of the things that say I'm a woman, which I am, and I want to connect with my feminine energy and I just don't even know what you're talking about. What are the practices that could help me do that? Of course there's so much. But one of the things that I really try to tell people to do is like feminine energy is all about feeling pleasure in your body.

So I really want you to think about like everything that you do in your day. I'm not talking about, you know, we're going to go to the spa every single day. If you can, that's great. But how can you feel pleasure and everything that you're doing? How can you do everything with more joy? Like how can you create every experience? So it's more about the experience rather than. than the end result. Like, for example, in our society, we're all very focused on outcomes and the end result, right? And like, oh, we have this goal. We have to reach this goal. But there's also so much beauty in, like, enjoying the journey, right? And that is feminine energy. And it's kind of like the same thing with cooking. If you are cooking a meal, the masculine way to look at it is I'm going to cook this meal and I'm just doing this for the end result. So I can have the food and eat it.

And then the feminine energy is, I love cooking, the joy of cooking. You know, yeah, I get to cut up all these ingredients and put it together and create. Like, it's this creative activity. And so you can do the same exact task, but with different energy. And it'll feel different while doing it. And so that's why, like, masculine energy and feminine energy is not just about the actions you do. It's about how you feel when you do them and the energy you do them with. And that's why it's like having a business.

It's not just for men. Like, it's for men and women. It's like, how do you do it? Like, I really try to approach my business with that creation energy and, like, play. Like, I get to build something. I get to create something. I get to help people. I get to nurture people.

Not like, oh, all I care about is this end result. All I care about is money. Like, that's just not the approach that I take. And so that is what keeps me in my feminine energy. So I think one thing that is so important is really, like, romanticizing your life, romanticizing everything. Like, even the drive to work, you know, like how much better would it feel if you roll down the window and listen to your favorite music and sang along? Like, it's something that's so simple. But that's what you'll notice,

like women who are very tapped into their feminine energy, everything just becomes like a lot more enjoyable to them because they make it that way. Because they prioritize their own pleasure. They prioritize feeling good. And we can feel good and we can feel pleasure in those mundane moments. I feel like there is a big switch from the women that talk to me of women being in their masculine and men being in their feminine. A lot of guys are enjoying themselves, playing golf on the weekends, rolling the window down, relaxing. And women are running around trying to run their homes, run their families.

And they are really struggling. So when I suggest exactly the same thing that you just suggested, they always tell me but how's my house going to run? Who's going to take out the trash? Who's going to remember my kids' meetings? How is this all going to happen? And that's a struggle. What would you say to them?

I actually have a theory about this. Go girl. Well, not about this exactly, but I feel like a woman's journey is learning how to surrender and learning how to experience pleasure. And I feel like a man's journey is learning how to take on responsibility. and learning how to take agency. I've got goosebumps. What are you doing?

Wow. Yeah, okay. Okay. I think that that's, yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's the case for a lot of people. I know that's definitely the case for me. And that's the thing is so I feel like women are actually naturally very good at like, you know, taking those action steps and doing what needs to be done.

It just comes easy to us. But we have to learn how to, not to do. just relax, but like surrender and not be so controlling over every little thing. And we have to allow men the opportunity to learn the power of responsibility and stepping up and not just trying to do it all for them. And I think like one thing that women struggle with with this, especially like with marriage and stuff, it's like you can allow your partner to make mistakes. Like I think a lot of women, they love their partner so much. And so they don't want them to, you know, mess up on anything. Like if they have to go to the airport to fly to something for work,

it's like, oh, honey, don't forget this. Don't forget this. Oh, we need this. Oh, your flight's going to leave. And we're all just doing that from that energy of like, I love you and I want the best for you. But if we really love them, then we have to be able to like allow them to learn and step up. It's like they can do those things if they're given the opportunity. But if they're not actually, if we're trying to take over, then we're not creating that opportunity for them. And it's not like their children or anything, but it's like everyone learns this way. We learn through doing.

And a lot of times we take away that opportunity by doing everything ourselves. Do you think it's a symptom of women having children later, which is great because we're getting education and we should. But I feel like before the contraceptive pill was around, we could have perhaps been having children when we were 16, 17, and not mothering a man who, you know, is another adult because that energy would have been going towards the child. But now we're in our mid-30s and that's great because we're having businesses. Love that for us.

But that energy still exists biologically. So we see him there being haphazard and wild and we're like, listen, because we wouldn't have had time to do that if we had five children. Yeah. And at home stead. Yeah. And we're so naturally more nurturing. And like we, we love very hard. And so, like, we want the best for people and for everyone we love.

And so I think you're right. It's like if you don't necessarily have the, you know, children to put that energy on, you're going to do it to someone else. You're going to do it to the other people in your life. And that's not a bad thing. But it's like sometimes you can give that energy to yourself. Exactly. What is the result of you micromanaging a man, not you,

but one micromanaging a man and kind of, you know, you being in your masculine, what happens to him in that scenario? You start to lose the polarity in your relationship and he starts to doubt himself and not trust himself and he starts to feel like you don't trust him. And that's one of the things that makes him feel the worse. Like that lack of respect for men, like having that respect is a really big thing. Like obviously, as women, we want respect to. It's not that that respect isn't important, but for men specifically, like, they feel loved

through that respect, whereas we tend to feel more loved by being cherished. And so you have to give him that respect and not, like, it's not respectful of him when you try to like micromanage everything because what you're essentially saying is that I don't trust you. It's interesting because what women will often say to that is, why should I come down and respect him when he's not doing anything respectful? Why should I? Where should I? Like if I say thank him for something he's already done, they say, why should I? He doesn't thank me for doing the dishes. For example, how do you break through that cycle of feeling like you've done too much already and he's just there being useless? How do we start to respect him? I think there's a few

things here. First of all, it's more about respecting him as a person rather than, oh, you doing this specific task. Oh, you took out the trash. It's like if that was, was a friend of yours and they did the same thing, we oftentimes wouldn't speak that rudely to our partner. Like, I have done this too for sure. And I'll still do this sometimes. We're all snap at something and it's like, oh, I would never do that if that was my friend or something. But like, we first of all, we just need to start talking a little bit more kindly to our partners and even just that little switch right there, like it can change the game. Like even if you have to ask about the trash. You know, if you speak very kindly and you're not like immediately

kind of like getting on his butt about it. Like, why didn't you do this? Then that communication is just going to go so much better because you're coming at it from a loving place. And I saw this video on TikTok once. I don't know who it was, but it just, it was so good. It resonated with me. I think it was like a more religious video, like a Christian video, but it was so good. She said, every man has a king and a fool in him. And whoever you talk to is what's going to come out. So if you talk to the king, that's what's going to come out. If you talk to the fool, that's what's going to come out.

And I don't know about you, but that is so true. So true. Like, so true. That's amazing. And so you have to start talking to the king, even if that king version of him is, like, not really in there. Like, it's in there. Like, if it's not in there, then don't be with him.

But if he hasn't brought that out in a while, you can still talk to him like that. And of course, I'm not saying, you know, if he's just sitting on the couch and never doing anything, that you should just accept that. That's where you really have to like listen to your intuition and, you know, is he the right person for you? But a lot of times we know, like when we marry someone, we know that they are a good person, that they have good character, that they have a kind heart or else we wouldn't marry them. And then I think a lot of times we start to get, you know, if we start to get tired and start to feel resentful of them if they're not doing this task. And then we just start talking to them in a whole different way. We start talking to them like the fool. And then they start becoming that.

And people become who they believe that they are. And people become who people talk to them. Like, how do I say this? People become who people say they are. Yeah. fully. And so when you believe in your partner, they will show up and act differently. And let's take the example of taking out the trash and you're a woman who nags. How do we pivot that situation or dishwasher something? Let's take an exact example. Yeah, I think the best way,

in my opinion, is to be playful with it. Like, it's totally okay to want to like communicate. That is a healthy thing. But you don't always have to communicate with like, intensity and like anger. You can communicate with playfulness. Like it makes such a difference. If you say like, you know, option one is, why didn't you take out the trash? Like I told you to do this. Like, oh, no, and getting really angry. And then the other option is just embracing a little bit of playfulness and like touching his arm while you say it, you know, and looking him in the eyes. Like you can just change the energy and change the dynamic by how you do it. So instead you can just be like, why didn't you take out the trash? Like, you know, like, I thought that we talked about

that, you know, with a smile. Like, it doesn't have to be, and it's not faking it. It's not like, I'm going to fake this playfulness. Because that's what they always say, why should I fake? This was all too hard. Don't, yeah. Don't fake it. And, like, you can allow yourself, this is kind of getting into another thing, but like, you can allow yourself to be happy and enjoy life, even when not everything is perfect, like when the trash is not taken out. Like, I think. that's the thing is like we create these huge scenarios over little moments. And then we let those little moments destroy our energy and our life and our zest and our playfulness and our juiciness. And that's what really takes us down. It's like we don't have to do that. That is a big philosophical

point because if you want to be happy, be it. I think Dostoevsky wrote that or something because we all know even in moments of you're sitting on a beach, you've got a marguerite or a dacquerie and you're there and you feel sad inside sometimes. Emotion isn't always. Emotion isn't always predicated on the scenario. So in the same way, you could have trash there and choose to feel happy, unless, of course, that person's abusing you with the trash specifically, like, leaving it there so that you are in peril. But if you know they're intrinsically a good person who is forgetful, it's a whole different category. Did you go from masculine energy to feminine within your marriage now, within your relationship? Or did you find him when you use these principles

already. So I met my husband when I was 17. We started dating. We were 17. Yeah. So we've been together for almost 15 years. So it's been a journey. So initially, you know, obviously I didn't know about feminine and masculine energy when I was 17. But initially it was very much like he was in the masculine. I was in the feminine. He was the strong pursuer. That's the way it was. And then once it started to go into like end of college. and I started entering my career. That's when things started to change. And I started becoming very much in my masculine energy.

And then I took that with me to the relationship. And then I started, you know, micromanaging and bossing him around a little bit. And, yeah, just coming at him with the energy of masculine energy instead of feminine energy. And then not surprisingly, that encouraged him to be more in his feminine energy. in the relationship because that's how polarity works. It's like if one person's in the masculine, that encourages the other person to be in the feminine. If one person's in the feminine, that encourages the other person to be in the masculine. So then that was kind of more or less how it was going. And then I learned about feminine energy through my whole wellness journey. And I did not, you know,

dive into feminine energy because I was like, oh, I want to improve my relationship. I didn't, I wasn't about that at all. I was just thinking for myself. Like, I want to come back to myself. I want to feel good in who I am. I want to feel good in who I am as a woman. And so I started learning just for me. And then I realized, oh, wow, this can actually be really beneficial for relationships as well. You know, I obviously learned about polarity and all that. And then I started applying it more to my relationships. And I think by that time I was married. And I definitely started seeing like, a difference, like all of a sudden things started feeling better. And all of a sudden, he started feeling more empowered as a man because I was like supporting him on that journey.

What does a man and his feminine look like? Usually more passive, more passive, waiting for someone else to lead, waiting for someone else to take action, waiting for someone else to solve problems, not willing to put in the effort, lacks discipline, things like that. And once you take the lead, which is what I often say, it's up to the person who's noticed the problem to take the lead. It's often the woman because we are relationship focused. So if you feel that you've been in your masculine doing all of these things for a while, as much as you want him to suddenly leap off the couch and be like, right, I'm now going to take action.

It's just not going to happen because he's quite comfortable in his feminine lying there, you know, accepting what it is you're bringing to the table. Totally true. I agree. It's usually us who is noticing the. I won't say relationship problems, but when the relationship is off, we're the one to notice at first because we're so in tuned to that kind of stuff and to our emotions and all of that. And I remember I made this video once, like a few years ago.

It was like how to, you know, inspire his masculine energy or something. And I remember somebody commented, like, you know, why should you have to inspire his masculine energy. Like, you should just break up with him if he's not, you know, in his masculine energy. And, you know, of course, like, if he is not, if you meet him and he is not in his masculine energy and he's not pursuing you, then okay, yeah, like, you don't, you should not be inspiring his masculine energy. He has, you know, he does not deserve your attention. But when you are married to someone, you make a commitment and you decide that you're going to support this person. And, you know, Just like everyone else, men have ups and downs.

Just like everyone else, men need to feel supported. Just like everyone else, men have harder times. And if a man were to go to a woman and be like, oh, I'm going to break up with you because you haven't been in your feminine energy lately. Like, you would be like, what? That is like, that is the meanest thing and that is so not supportive. Yeah. But it's like, I don't think, I think that sometimes we approach it with the wrong perspective. like, oh, they need to be the one who's doing this all the time. And it's like, no, this is actually

what we're really good at. We're really good with emotions and that whole side of it. And women, especially like wives, like once you're at that marriage level, like women know how to make men's lives better. Women know what men need to do to make their life better. That is like a gift that we have. like we just know intuitively. Even when it comes to things that we don't even know about, like, you know, for example, like my husband works in finance and I'm like, you know, great. I don't really know what you do every day, but I'm sure it's great. I can still, sometimes he'll run things by me, you know, like he wants to get like an intuitive

gut check of like how I feel about something. And he knows that he can like, that he should really take my opinion into account because he knows that like I can understand things at another level that maybe he's not able to. That's amazing. And when it comes to running a house together, you guys are married and maybe not even you guys specifically, but what happens in the modern world when you're both equally working, both running businesses? I think in the past it was a little bit more obvious when he is the provider, you might be

at home, how he might be the leader in that aspect. But how does a woman do that now? And I get the question of do we do 50-50? How do we split finances? This is so confusing if he is the provider, but I'm also the provider. Why don't I get to make the choices? What do you advise when it comes to that? Well, I think, of course, it's going to be a little bit different for every single relationship. But the main thing is, if you're working the same amount of hours that he is working or even potentially more, then you should not be doing all of the housework. Like, it just doesn't make any sense. And I think sometimes women get themselves, you know, accidentally into this

position where they're doing all this work and all this housework because from the beginning, they just start doing it. Like, they just start doing it. They don't, they don't like try to figure out a solution for how to split it early on or, like, really talk about it and communicate it. Not like saying that, you know, women are, you know, not aware of the, you know, not aware of But it's like, we're so quick to just like solve the problem and just deal with it. And especially as women, we really value the state of our house. So, you know, I can easily just like want to fall into the trap of like, oh, I'll just take care of this and I'll take care of this and I'll take care of this. But then you still have to work the same amount of hours. And that's just not going to work. And now that the world looks different, we have to start operating differently. And so. Like for us, when I started leaning more into my business, that's when we started hiring more help. And I wasn't afraid to hire more help. Like that was when we hired someone to clean our house once a week so that we could take that off our plate.

And that's because he knew that if I was working the same amount as him or not even the same amount as him, I don't work as much as him. But if I was working, that I was not going to be responsible for that. And he knew that because we talked about that up front. And I think that with men, you really need to approach it with logic. Like, look, this doesn't make sense. Like, literally, if you just look at it logically, it doesn't make any sense. If this was the roles in reverse, you wouldn't want this either. So first of all, I think it's really important to not be afraid to delegate when and where you can.

And like a lot of women and men are afraid to delegate. but delegating will definitely change the game for you. Like having someone help with your house, having someone help with laundry or something, or maybe having someone who can, you know, or just ordering grocery delivery instead of going to the, you know, local grocery store. All of those things can really help a lot. Yeah, I can't remember what else was going to say. And if you are both working, a big subject online is, you know, going 50-50 and the bills, Obviously, you don't have to tell me what you and your husband do, but what do you advise women on that term is her money hers and his money theirs? Or what do you think about that? Obviously, it's individual. But when it comes to the feminine energy aspect, what are we doing, girl? Tell us. Yeah, I don't think that it's like that specific of like, oh, he has to pay for everything and she can't. I think that's, yeah, I don't think that that's, like, needed. You can exude masculine energy even when you have no money. Like, I think that's something that we forget.

that like your husband can still be or your partner can still be so in their masculine energy, even if you guys are having to split the bill or like having to, you know, split the bills, the mortgage, all of that because that's a lot of times what happens when we're married. But like he can still be the one who like, you know, shows up to plan the dates. He can still be the one who like take the action to solve some problem. He can still be the one to protect you. physically, emotionally, all of that. Masculine energy is an energy.

Feminine energy is an energy. It's not so black and white. Like, he pays for this. And then she does this. And if you get yourself in that sticky situation, if you find yourself with a partner that thinks that way, then oftentimes they're going to be like, oh, I paid for this.

You owe me this. And that's not what you want either. Mm-hmm. 100%. So how do you remain in your feminine while running a business? You obviously run this as a business. How do you make sure that it doesn't burn you out? There's a few different things.

One is that I try to work with my cycle and with my energy. So I try to do more things when I'm in my follicular and ovulatory phases. And then I give myself permission to do less in my luteal and menstrual phases. That's definitely a big one for me. And then also, like, in general, I just let my days look very different. So I don't work like 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sometimes I will work a really long day. And then the next day I'll wake up and only work one or two hours. I really just try to follow my own body and like what it's telling me to do and follow my own creativity. And in general, that usually ends up working out for me. There are some times where it's like, oh, there's a deadline here that I have to hit or whatever. Then I'll just push through and do it. But I also think what's really important is like the day. nature of your business. If you have a business that you actually like hate, you're just doing it for the money, then it's always going to feel like this task to be done and like, oh, this drain. Or as if you have a

business that's like connected to your, your passion, your purpose, or if you have a business that allows you to be creative in the way that you like to be creative, like then that completely changes it. Then it's not just a business. It's, it can be like your baby. It's like this. It's just, so much more than that. Like my business, I, I don't see it as like work. I don't, when I'm working on it, I don't say, oh, I'm going to go work. I say, oh, I'm going to film a YouTube video. Oh, I'm going to plan for YouTube video. Oh, I'm going to make, I'm going to make a new lesson in my course. Or I'm going to make a new digital product or, oh, I'm going to make my thumbnail. I never say I'm going to work. Because even just the word itself, like we can, we conditioned it to feel like, ugh, draining. Like, this isn't what feels good,

you know? So even just like the way you look at it and the way you perceive it, it can just change everything. 100%. Tell me about your YouTube journey. When did it start to resonate with you that people wanted this type of content? And tell me about your growth as well, because your videos are amazing. Thank you. I started in the fall of 2020. So it's been about four years. now. And it's interesting because I initially went on and I was like, oh, I'm going to talk more about wellness related things because I was doing a little bit of health coaching before that and helping women specifically a little bit more with their hormones and things like that. And I was like, great, I'll make some YouTube videos. I had no like real big intentions or

aspirations with it, honestly. I just felt called to doing it. I just wanted to educate one of my favorite things to do is just learn and then teach what I learn. And so I was like, let's just do it. And so I got on there and my third video, I decided to do about feminine energy. And it was still kind of new at the time. Like in 2020, I was on TikTok a little bit more then. And I would talk about cycle syncing. And then I would also talk about feminine energy. And people would be like, what is this? Like it was kind of in the earlier days of feminine energy. They were like, is this purity culture? Like, what is this?

So I was a little bit nervous to do a video on Feminent Energy on YouTube. But I did that. And that was my third video. And, you know, of course, my videos in the beginning were getting like, you know, very little views, like 20 views or something. And then that Feminine Energy video, it started growing steadily. It was being, it was in like the search when people would type in Feminine Energy. It would come up. And so that one started growing steadily.

And I was like, oh, wow, people actually want to hear about this. Like, it's so funny because the one thing that I really wanted to talk about was the one thing that really resonated with people. And I thought like that was a sign. Yeah. Yeah. Similar journey with me, not that I'm going to go into it, but I went on TikTok just to talk about women's coaching, like in all aspects and areas. And everyone started talking about what about feminine energy. Oh, what you're saying is feminine energy.

I'm like, okay, cool. Let's call it that. and keep talking about it, you know what I mean? But it's just almost like aligning what it is to be a woman, a modern woman with whatever it is, people are calling it. Yeah, your videos really resonate because you've got this aura about you that is very feminine. So it's very aspiring. Sometimes I get comments that I'm quite masculine in the way I talk. And I'm like, not as in like my language or anything, but I'm very like straight to the point.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm masculine to you. I'm not masculine to like my husband. Okay. It was different. Yeah. You know, when you're teaching, you can be quiet in your masculine. because you are a forward trajectory. What is your plans for the future for your business and your YouTube channel?

That's what I've been trying to figure out. I plan to keep doing YouTube. It has been growing. I definitely want to get some help to help me with that because I really want to focus more on, like, creating a bit more of like my own products. I really enjoy that part of it. Like I have a course on feminine energy and that was really fun.

I want to do a full course on relationships. and Feminine Energy specifically, especially for like married couples. That's what I really want to do. I feel like that's so needed. And I just want to create more of my own, like, digital products and go that route. I really want to write a book in the next maybe like five years or so too. I have like my idea and everything, my title and everything. So that's something that I would love to do.

But then I also probably want to have kids some time in the next few years. So I'm trying to navigate how that's going to go because I know myself and I know I'm going to want to take like six months off probably completely when I have a kid. So kind of trying to figure out like these are the things as a woman in the modern age. It's like how do we navigate all this. You can do it. I wrote my book while pregnant with my daughter and I had her just as it launched. It's not easy, but it's doable. You can do both.

But yeah, you're going to feel a bit torn. I think that marriage piece is definitely missing. the conversation. There's a lot of like feminine energy dating and you know all this 50 50 stuff. But it's like, okay, you got your relationship. What's next? So I think that will do really well when you launch it. Can you tell people where to find you before I let you go? Because I think they should definitely follow you. Yeah. So my name's Jill's Garen. You can just find me on YouTube, jills Garen or jillsgaren. Or jillsgaren. Or wherever any of those places. Just type my name in on Google and I'll be there. And I'll put your links in the description box.

and thank you so much for coming on. I think you are just amazing in the space and very, very needed. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.