Being there for your kids - All Systems Go

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

Getting and keeping organized, especially as a family, is an art form. The bigger the family, the more important that you are organized. Everybody has a job to do, responsibilities, and accountability. If you are already there, great!! If not, consider these starting points. Assess with your spouse how your family can be run more efficiently. Think about all the everyday tasks for each person's needs and feelings to be addressed. Plan for a family meeting with advanced notice. After all of the grunts and groans, use your active listening skills to hear the needs and feelings. Use a planning calendar where all upcoming events (both individual and family) are posted. Create a chore chart and post house rules. Review and revise during weekly family meetings. Your goal is to organize, delegate, and revise. With these things in place, your family can reach all systems go.

I'd like to talk about keeping you and your family organized. Does it feel sometimes that you are running around like a chicken with your head cut off? Do you wish that you were an eight-armed octopus just so you could keep up with the many and varied demands on your time and help? You know what? Me too. Sometimes. There are, however, ways to keep yourself and your family more organized. Mommy, pleaded 10-year-old Allison. Can I please, please, please have Sarah spend the night tonight? Yo, mom, called the 16-year-old Buck from his bedroom. Is my green shirt washed yet? I'm taking Chloe to dinner tonight. Sweetheart, called Nick as he left for work. Don't forget we're meeting my boss and his wife for dinner tonight. Phew, what a whirlwind of activity in the Lawson household. Mom, Mary Lawson, has her hands full if she lets her brood get away with it.

She wouldn't have all those demands on her if she were more organized, if she delegated, and if she revised house rules. First, a good rule for families with young and teen children is that every request for entertainment requires at least three days notice. Sleepovers, going to the movies, car keys for dates all fall into the entertainment category. This not only gives you planning time, but also teaches your child responsibility and consideration as to how their requests affects others around them. Second, as soon as your kids can do for themselves, teach them and let them. Buck's green shirt, his job. His responsibility, not yours. If he complains and cajoles, active listen to his frustration, and encourage a plan B that he can undertake, perhaps another clean shirt.

Third, a habit of weekly family meetings and a family calendar placed in the common area of the home, say the kitchen or the family room or hallway, covers a multitude of logistical problems. Mary can and should be ready for the work dinner with the boss if it's been on the family calendar. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but being all things to all people at every moment is not an option. There are ways to keep yourself and your family organized. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMCP-I-N-C.com.