Being there for your kids - Allowing Your Teen to Be

Episode Date: December 13, 2018

      Transitions are always hard. The one from teen to adult is probably the hardest, for both parent and teen. You want it all to go well, but you can't do it for your teen. Their stress in leaving is enormous, whether they want to go or not. You can help them most by active listening, asking their permission to comment after they have calmed down, offering suggestions, but letting them make their own choices. Be there for them emotionally and let them fly.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. You know, in some families, college is just around the corner. Did my little girl really grow up that fast? Wasn't it yesterday that I was changing her diapers and singing her lullabes? How time flies. Now college for her is just around the corner. Mama, is this outfit going to make me look like a nerd? Allison held a blouse and pants up to her mom to get her opinion.

Well, sweetheart, I don't know. What do you think? Allison sighed and then puffed up. Mama, don't give me that crap. Tell me what you think. Mom stiffened under her daughter's attitude. She took a deep breath and then let it out. Allie, you know more about what college kids wear these days than I do. She paused to let her words sink in. For what it's worth, I think the blouse and pants look fine. They highlight your soft skin and your blue eyes. Allison looked down and turned away, but then turned back toward her mom. Mama, I'm sorry for biting your head off. She paused and then continued, it's just, it's a lot. It's. It's.

It's all so overwhelming. I don't know. Mom gathered her young adult daughter into her arms like she was ten again and kissed her forehead. It's all right, dear. We'll get through it somehow, together. Allison continued to ponder, vent, and vary her mood all over the map. Mom helped her pack, but also active listen to her struggling daughter. Allison both couldn't wait to leave her college and was also terrified of leaving home. The day I left for Wake Forest University in North Carolina, 10 hours away from my home in suburban Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, I remember struggling also. My little Chevy Malibu was packed to the gills with only a tiny cockpit behind the steering wheel where I could barely move.

Being so far away from home, I only could afford to come home twice a year. During such times of great transition as the mom and dad, you need to be there for your child. Be there emotionally. Hang on for dear life. active listen to all those feelings the moods the yelling the late nights after curfew the trouble making none of that is who your man-child or woman child really is bail them out literally if need be but recognize that all is just a phase and not who you've grown them up to be they are reacting to the normal natural life transition that they both desperately want and also terribly frightens them

the knowledge is just around the corner at your house hang on you will all get through it John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at Amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at t-M-C-P-I-N-C.com.