Being there for your kids - Be Aware of School and Social Influences on Your Child

Episode Date: March 22, 2020

Wouldn't it be great if we, as parents, could raise our children by ourselves, in a vacuum devoid of school and social influences on their lives? Yeah, well...uh, no. Our children's lives are so much more enhanced by their interactions and learning experiences with others. We are, however, tasked to give them a firm foundation, both in personality and in life. This gives them opportunity to navigate school and life more successfully. We also need to be aware of the school and social influences they encounter in their lives beyond our family. How can we help them make good choices if we don't at least know the broad strokes of their lives. The trick is to be informed without appearing intrusive. This is where active listening and receiving permission to jointly problem solve helps.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about your child's other life, the school and social influences on his life. Recently, I posted my top 10 tips for parenting success. Now I am elaborating on each item on the list. Parenting tip number seven is this, be aware of school and social influence. Back in the day, when my kids were young and the dinosaurs roamed, we were friends with the parents of all of our children's friends. Plus, we all lived within walking and biking distance in a 300 home suburban subdivision.

Keeping tabs on our kids and monitoring school and social influence on them was a comforting community project. Now, not so much. Today's digital children live as much in the cybernetic world as in their real worlds. Their BFFs could live halfway around the world, literally. It's harder, but no less important for parents to be aware of school and social influence. "'Hey, son,' Todd's mom called from the den. "'I'm in here. Come see me.' Todd had just gotten home from afternoon football practice.

At six foot two, two hundred fifteen pounds, Maggie's fifteen-year-old son towered over her. He sauntered into the den, giving her a half-head nod, and mumbled, "'What's up?' "'Come sit here,' she patted the seat beside her, "'and tell me about your day.' With an exaggerated eye-roll,

Todd plopped down beside his mom. "'Oh, ma, do we have to do this every day he grabbed, Well, let me see. She gave him an unwanted side hug. Uh, yes, she teased, smiling broadly. So, the ritual began. How was your school? Fine. What new things did you learn today? Stuff? What color stuff? Mom, really? The back and forth continued for a few minutes, and Todd lightened up, offering a few tidbits about his actual day. This kind of seemingly meaningless dialogue is actually a gateway into the life your child has outside of your home and supervision. revision. Other avenues you can use to keep in touch include a GPS app on his phone, permission to troll his Facebook and other social media accounts, and encouraging your children

to host some of their social events in your home. Of course, for children under age 10, it's still important to get the names, addresses, and phone numbers of the parents of your children's friends, even if you don't know them personally. When you are accused of being invasive, agree, make light of it, but stick to it. These avenues into your child's school, and social influences will help you stay connected and informed. Personality, psychology research indicates that your child's personality is 80% formed by age 5 from your interactions with him and within your home. The remaining 15% of personality forms between ages 6 and 18, his school years. The final 5% is unique to your child as his personal identity is completed through adolescence

and his odyssey from ages 18 to 30. Make use to the time you, have with your children. Be aware of both school and social influences with which he contends daily. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed to clinical psychologist and Christian author of the book Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at Amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.