Being there for your kids - Be Kind to your Child

Episode Date: January 26, 2020

None of us has ever been a parent before we had our first child. Parenting is often doing the best you can in sometimes difficult, trying times. While you do have to set limits, give direction, and follow through on consequences, it also helps to "catch them being good." What does that mean? Well, it's a kindness thing. Kindness comes in three forms: focus on being positive, practice praise, and demonstrate acts of kindness, especially when least expected. Not only are you parenting with kindness, you are also modeling for your children how to be kind to others. That teachable moment is quite a gift.

John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about parenting. You know, it is a kindness thing. As parents, we carry a heavy load. Remember when you saw your newborn for the first time? Along with the ooze and ahs, somewhere in the first few moments, most of us experience a wave of terror. O-M-G.

I am responsible for this new person. How they grow up, how they live their lives, is on me. Can I do this? Am I ready? What if I mess up? Sound familiar? If you are human, you had these very questions for yourself shortly after your newborn arrived. You have lots of company with these questions.

You are not alone. As we navigate the choppy waters of parenting with you at the helm, first and foremost, remember that the journey of parenting is above all else a kindness thing. Your cute little newborn two years ago, Abby, is now full bore into her terrible twos. Her curiosity gets her into everything. She makes messes on the floor. Her favorite word is no. What do you do with her?

Of course, when she messes up, you start with an observation like, gosh, Abby, this isn't like you. What else is going on? Then you active listen to her response, calm her down, help her clean up the mess, and redirect her. You also confront, set boundaries, and discipline to help her better understand how to interact with the world. However, during the moments when Abby's mischievousness,

is settled down, many teachable moments come from being kind. Let me introduce you to a social researcher, Shanti Feldholm. Over the years, she has researched what improves couples' relationships. She has focused on the extent to which and how couples can be kind to one another. She even created the kindness challenge, a 30-day commitment and process for focusing on being kind. Her research concludes that three factors are critical for improving kindness in relationship, mixing the negative. Nixing the negatives, practicing praise, and demonstrating acts of kindness. After completing the 30-day kindness challenge, 89% of the participants in her research found overall improvement in their relationships. Wow. So, let's extend this concept to our children. Focus on being positive. Look how pretty your

picture is. Practice praise. What a big girl you are using the potty all by yourself. Demonstrate acts of kindness. Can't quite reach that even on your tippy toes. Here, let me get it for you. Above all, parenting is a kindness thing. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.