Being there for your kids - Behavior Management 2.0

Episode Date: June 9, 2019

Because you are a parent, you use some form of behavior management with your children. The question is, does what you are using hurt or help him grow responsibily? Just because your parent may have used the belt on you doesn't make it the right form of discipline. What does your child learn from such punishment, except maybe to fear you? In Teachable Moments: Building Blocks of Christian Parenting I share with you The Good Kid Chart. This is a relational, involving, 4-step process to help your child invest in responsibility and character-building. In addition to correcting him, you can also develop a teachable moment.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. You know, behavior management is in your job description as a parent, but I want to talk about a different kind of behavior management. Some parents don't like this job, and their kids run wild. Other parents see this as their only job, and their kids are rigid, uncreative, and often fear-driven. In my book, Teachable Moments Building Box of Christian Parenting, I offer step-by-step directions of a relational, interactive version of behavior management centered on what I call the good kid chart. Eight-year-old Dante is bossing his little sister around and getting her to do his chores. Son, you know better than that, growled his dad. How would you like me to do that to you? Go to your room. Well, yeah, that's exactly how dad was treating Dante. Where do you think Dante learn to boss his sister around and get her to do his work? Is he going to learn not to boss his sister by being sent to his room? The good kid chart is the focus of a productive, positive, change-oriented version of standard behavior management. The name itself is a directive on helping your child become a good kid. After you and your spouse identify the target behaviors you want your child to work on,

sit down with him to review the procedures. Target behaviors, by the way, are always positively oriented. No one wants to work toward a negative. So don't be bossy with your sister, becomes, play nicely and treat your sister with respect. There are four components to the system. During a family meeting with your child, orient him to the good kid chart. active listen to his protests and prompt his working on meeting the target behaviors.

Then compile three lists of six to ten items each. A list of daily rewards, of weekly rewards, and of consequences. The more involved your child is in creating these lists, the more he will buy into the process. Daily and weekly rewards are always within your time and resource limits. Consequences occur with severe outburst. If you want Dante to play nice with his sister and he yells at her and pushes her down, that's severe. He not only doesn't get a sticker on his good kid chart, but he also gets a punishment. Allowing him to pick one of six to ten consequences helps him own his punishment. If he refuses,

you get to pick two. The good kid chart, what a great way to create teachable moments and help your child become the person you want him to be. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and this has been teachable moments. Teachable moments, building blocks of Christian parents, is available online at amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores more on dr robinson at t mc pincm.com