Being there for your kids - Change? Give Your Child a Sandwich

Episode Date: February 23, 2019

         Children get frustrated trying to learn sometimes, or even just trying new things. While you always want to active listen your child's feelings when you see that emotional fever, try giving him a sandwich to help him with change and with difficult tasks. Your sandwich for your child is a way of encouraging him. That is, start with praise for his effort. Then active listen and acknowledge how hard the task is for him, and make helpful suggestions. Then follow up with another praise comment. When the critique is sandwiched between two praise comments, it goes down better and your child is more likely to try, try again.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let me give you a tip. When looking for a change, give your child a sandwich. What? Every good parent feeds their children regularly, three meals a day, if possible. Sometimes meals consist of a sandwich or two. Meals help our children grow physically. A sandwiched comment can help our children grow in character emotionally and spiritually.

Alec is six years old. He gets frustrated reading out loud. When left to his own devices, he tells you. takes hints from the pictures and guesses the content of passages. His daddy is trying to help him read at bedtime. Okay, son, you read the first paragraph and I'll read the next. Daddy coaxes his reluctant son, making the task a joint effort. You read it all to me, Daddy. I don't feel like it tonight. Aw, son, you know your teacher told us to help you keep up with your reading. I understand how hard it is for you at times, but maybe we can struggle through it together. Okay? Let's give it a try.

Alec turned his back to his dad and grumbled to himself. Dad saw the emotional fever mounting and tried active listening. It's tough trying hard things. Huh, you're really frustrated. Alec turned back to his daddy. What do you do when you're frustrated daddy? His dad told him a relevant story that happened at his work this past week and concluded, well, even though it was tough, I tried.

I didn't do it perfectly, but trying and getting more of it right helped me want to try it more. His dad then tickled his son and encouraged him to try reading. After struggling through the storybook, Dad noted, Look at you. You tried even though you didn't want to. You missed a few words, but you used your phonics rules to sound them out. Let's keep trying every night until you get it. Okay, son? I am so proud of you. What dad used is what's called the sandwich effect.

When helping your child with hard things or with making needed changes, start with a praise comment. Follow that with a critique. conclude with another praise comment. This learning sandwich goes down much better for children. The credit you give them helps reinforce the learning. When looking for change, give your child a sandwich. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Notes.

Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMCP-I-N-C.com.