Being there for your kids - Choose Process over Outcome

Episode Date: February 29, 2020

Kids tend to gravitate toward immediate need gratification. If it isn't "now," what's the point? While we all want need gratification, and the sooner the better, there is a place for advanced preparation in tackling life's challenges. As parents, we can help our children choose process over outcome in their decision-making. While at times, focusing on the process feels like swimming upstream and is a hard sell for kids, the result is stronger character, better decision-making, and learning how to develop a means to a desirable end.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about choosing process over outcome. On a gloomy, rainy July afternoon, Tom came into the bedroom of his 14-year-old son, Chad. Hey, son, what's you doing? Tom asked. Nothing. Chad continued watching the YouTube on his laptop. He glanced out his window to check on the rain. Yeah, Tom noticed. The weatherman says it's going to come down in sheets all day today. There goes all my plans, Chad sighed.

He had checked with some of his friends, and all of them seemed to be staying close to home today. That's disappointing, huh? Tom had noticed his son's emotional fever elevating, and active listen to his feelings. When Chad seemed to settle down, his dad offered, I have some thoughts about how you could get some mileage out of a down day. Do you want to hear them? Yeah, sure, why not? Chad replied in a less than enthusiastic way.

Tom went on to list a number of things his son could. do with his time at the moment. Help his dad to the project in the garage. Go to a movie. Get started on his English class summer reading list. Chad rolled his eyes and grunted. Whatever. Tom pursued. You know, son, it would be fun helping me out in the garage and even going to a movie you like. If I had a vote, however, I would encourage you to start on your summer reading list. You like the books Mr. Tillis recommended on the list. Having read them, we'll give you a heads up going into high school in the fall. Reading in general gives you a lifetime of benefit. Just pick a book from the list that makes you curious and read just the first chapter for a start.

Okay? See how you like it. Chad agreed to give it a try. Okay, summer reading for school is a hard sell in any family. The point here is that the garage project is an outcome, as is the movie. The summer reading is a process. Outcomes are fun and engaging, while processes can be both of those qualities and also build in longer value and a life lesson. So when the option presents itself,

help your kids choose process over outcome. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TM.

P-I-N-C-P-I-N-C dot com.