Being there for your kids - Conquering Chaos Central

Episode Date: March 11, 2019

           Sometimes, too much is going on. It feels like chaos central at your home. Guess what? You are not alone. Chaos leads to feeling overwhelmed and not in charge. As parents, you want life to be as neat and orderly as possible. When everything seems to be out of control in your home, consider these 3 steps, prepare, instruct, and reward, to regain rule and order.            First, after getting a reading on how over-the-top things are, plan a family meeting to lay it all out for the kids. Prepare to use your active listening during the meeting as the fur flies. Use the meeting to find things that can be scheduled, and then make the schedule. Find things that can be planned for. If morning routine is chaotic, find all the things that can be done the night before, so that mornings are less hectic. For example, pack lunches in the fridge the night before, lay out clothes to wear, secure backpacks. The less cluttered crunch time is, the less chaotic.            Second, make a list of instructions so that the planned tasks will occur accordingly. Give a copy of these instructions to each family member, both for compliance and accountability. Set the following week as the time to implement a "test run" of your plans.            Finally, reward the efforts by all to follow through on the instructions by setting aside a family reward. Of course, things won't go perfectly, so consistency is the name of the game. Chaos central conquered.

Hi, this is Teachable Moments, and I'm Dr. John Robinson. My question today, is your house chaos central at times? Life is full, and that's a better option than life being empty. But sometimes a full life falls under the category of, be careful what you pray for because you just might get it. In the Bauer family, mornings can be chaos central. The alarm goes off, but nobody gets out of bed. Mom drags herself up, rouse to the two kids,

and heads for the kitchen to find the cereal box. Dad grumbles as he gets into the shower. Mom hears her middle school daughter scream, Mom, I can't find the blouse I want to wear today. Her high school son wanders sleepily into the kitchen wearing the same clothes he slept in last night. She starts to tell him to go change into clean clothes. Then she remembers that she was too tired to do laundry last night.

Her daughter screams again, startling her. She drops the box of cereal on the floor and the cereal scatters everywhere. Chaos Central? Yep. Can this seem be avoided in your house? By all means. Three steps can get you. you on your way to a more cooperative, less chaotic morning routine. Join forces by using a family

meeting to prepare, instruct, and reward. Prepare by planning ahead. Anything that can be done the night before should be. That includes showers, children putting out their clothes to wear the next day, homework, strategically locating book bags and electronics, getting a load of clothes done, and reviewing breakfast plans. Next, instruct each family member on their role in responsibilities. Nobody gets off the hook, especially dad if both parents work outside the home. Be detailed. Write down each person's expectations and give a copy to each family member. Finally, reward jobs well done. When you see the plan working, make a big deal out of it. It's true that the carrot works better than the stick. Where there are issues, use your active listening to understand the frustrations and to encourage

cooperation. Schedule a follow-up family meeting to retool the system and plan a family reward for the weekend after a successful week. Because each of us has so much to do, each and every day, your home can be chaos central at times. If you prepare, instruct, and reward the troops through family meetings, and with active listening, with consistency over time, it doesn't have to be chaos central. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.