Being there for your kids - Expanding Your Parenting Resources

Episode Date: April 12, 2020

News flash!! You don't have to do this parenting thing alone. Even if you are not lucky enough to have a village, even if you are a single parent, the buck may stop with you, but there are lots of options along the way. As you are able to expand your parenting resources, both you get relief and are able to manage your stress better, and also your children learn new things and experience new relationships. Of my top 10 tips for parenting success, tip number 10 is this: Draw on and draw in other resources in your children's lives.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Over the past 10 podcasts, I've been elaborating on each of my top 10 tips for parenting success. Now this is parenting tip number 10. Draw on and draw in other resources in your children's lives. Single parents are my heroes. Having raised two children and now corralling six grandchildren, I didn't even want to think about raising children as a single parent. But here's the shout-out, regardless of your circumstances, you don't have to parent alone. Further, expanding your parenting resources enriches your child's life experiences. While the buck may, in fact, stop with you, there are lots of places that buck can go before stopping. Amy pulled baby Liam's diaper off while he lay in his carrier on the kitchen counter. The vegetables were boiling over on the stove. Six-year-old Claire sat at the kitchen table puzzling over her math worksheet.

Mommy, is this seven facing the right way? Claire pointed at her worksheet problem, while glancing at her mama seeking direction. Just a minute, darling, Amy started. Let me get Liam fixed up first. She heard the vegetables bubbling over on the stove, steam wafting up. Keeping one hand on Liam's belly to still him, Amy stretched to the burner knobs to turn the boiling vegetables off. She finished with Liam and placed him in his playpen in the corner and then turned to help Claire, pausing dinner preparation for the moment. "'Phew, I'm worn out. How about you? Yep, Amy is one of my heroes. But whether you are a single parenting or have a proverbial village at your disposal, you don't have to be alone. When you are the only one presently available, use the crisis principle, that is, address the most urgent needs first. When others have to wait, use your active listening to help address their stress or frustration. Assure them that you will help them in a moment. Turn crises into opportunities. that is, teachable moments, to creatively problem-solve and promote independent responsibility and working together. As time and circumstances permit, expand your resources. When my wife and I were parenting preschoolers, we developed a tag team parenting concept. We both worked outside the home,

so when we got home, we talked about our days and decided who was it. The it parent took point on child care duties that evening. However, if the it parent maxed out at any point during the evening, that parent could tag the other and declare that they were now it. Tag team parenting became our way of sharing the load without overburdening either one of us. Expanding your resources also happens when you encourage older children to help out with younger children, of course with your supervision. Putting together a babysitting collective of the parents of your children's friends gives you another way to share the load. Reciprocal sleepovers give you a break at least half the time. With age and interest in mind and within your financial constraints, make use of camps, recreational sporting activities,

the local public library, and specific interest groups. These kinds of things give you a moment to take a breath on your parenting journey. These options also open your kids up to a variety of parenting styles and expanded friendship networks. Of course, part of your parental vigilance is to debrief with your child after they've returned home to assure positive experiences. In these and other ways, drawing in and drawing in and drawing, on other resources for your children can relieve some of your stress while also expanding your child's life experiences. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed to clinical psychologist and author

of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at Amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.