Being there for your kids - Family Activities for Holiday or Moving Day

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

How can you both corral the kids, but also get them to be helpful and useful during stress-filled holidays and moving days. These two letters tackle this question to help frazzled parents get through family transitions and difficult times. Check them out.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a few more letters for you today. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, last summer was a chaotic nightmare. My kids started with no more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, and ran a muck all summer. Also happens on holidays as well. Kids look forward to holiday break when parents, moms in particular, dread it. The child care adds more expense to our budget, having to account for, for our 10 and 12-year-old boys all day, letting them have more fun but still help out, keeping up with school expectations, it's all overwhelming.

Help! Signed, Mama Dreads holidays. Dear Mama Dreads, my heart goes out to you, MD. You know you should be excited for your kids and their holiday freedom, but you see just more work for yourself. Guess what? You're not alone.

For families fortunate enough to have resources, studies show that time off from school can be very expensive. Add a two-week holiday camp per child, family vacation, extra meals and food at home, extra gas for multiple runaround trips, and holidays are expensive time off for family budgets. For families living on a shoestring, it's about trusting your kids to local transit, arranging daycare, sign-ups for YMCA and other recreational programming, and teaching our kids the safeties and responsibilities of business. being latch key. I don't know your circumstances, but consider these things. First, start with a

preemptive family meeting where you lay out concerns and options. Get feedback from your kids, spouse, and any extended family that are available. Write down options for consideration, where possible, delegate follow-up according to who benefits from the options. Second, list your expectations for each child. Make and post to-do lists for chores, create opportunities for your children to earn extra money for extra projects. Post recreational activities as well on your family planning calendar, you have one of those, right? Engage help from available extended family, grandparents, where possible, with ample gratitude. Third, keep your child busy with chores, jobs, as well as with fun activities. Find freebies where available and age appropriate,

such as various church holiday activities, free programming at your local library, and club and service options such as scouting and church, children, and youth activities. Be creative and include your children in exploring these and other options. Finally, try to keep your child from withdrawing to their bedroom or couch for extensive gaming and other online pursuits. Electronics should be limited to two hours per day and balanced with two hours per day of pleasure reading. When you get home from work, take at least a half hour of time with each child to debrief about how their day was and to plan for tomorrow. These and other ideas will help you feel more productive, confident, and relaxed so you can enjoy your holiday as well. Blessings, Dr. John. Here's another letter.

Dear Dr. Robinson, my husband got a new job in another state and starts early this spring. Great for him in his career advancement and more money for us. He will move there in late March, but we decided to let our three children. ages 8, 11, and 15, finish their school years here. We've bought a home in our new location, and the kids and I have spent several weekends with their dad there. When school comes to a close, our summer vacation will not be very fun or relaxing because we're moving. Got any ideas? Signed, Frantic. Dear Frantic, congratulations on your husband climbing the corporate ladder. There will be benefits in the long run, but, of course, you all need to deal with the transition and the short run.

Good for you for finding a new home and getting in some weekends at your new digs before making the big move. The familiarity will lessen some of the grieving in transition. And yes, this kind of move involves actual grieving, feeling sad about what you are losing in a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood. Not knowing just how things will work out in the new place, some anger and resentment about having no choice over the move, lots of worry about making new friends and getting used to new surroundings. Making time for each child to, quote, dump, end quote, their feelings on you will be helpful. Don't take it personally. It's part of the transition process.

This is where active listening is your best friend. Help them understand what they are feeling without judgment, without giving solutions, and without minimizing what they are feeling. As you see, their emotional fever coming down, and list them in the moving process. Assign age-appropriate duties with your oversight, and give them praises as they help out. When your moving van arrives, decide which one of you will supervise the offloading. The other of you gets to take the kids exploring their new surroundings. Find the schools, the parks, the recreational sports sites, the movie theaters, the playgrounds.

If your new neighborhood has a community center with pool, take time to go for a swim and let your kids mingle with their new peers under your watchful eye. Of course, eventually come home with pizza and drinks for dinner as a family. assign your children to unbox their respective bedrooms while you folks tackle your bedroom and the common areas. Expect a week to a month before everything is in its place. Don't overdo the unpacking. Use a variation of an eight-hour workday with stop and start times, spending the evenings doing something fun, either as a family or with new peer groups.

This will be an atypical summer for all of you, but you are laying the groundwork for a smooth transition to your new location. luck and blessings, Dr. John. If these letters stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org, thereformykids.com, or email me at John Robinson 0.0.BelSouth.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Notes. Teachable Moments, Building blocks of Christian parenting is available online at Amazon Books.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.