Being there for your kids - Family Meetings -- Planning at its Best

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

Family meetings can be a great way to get everyone involved, and invested in, planning things the family does together. It could be the mundane, like dividing up a chore list, or the exciting, like planning a family vacation. As parents use active listening, productive confronting, and a big dose of pride and encouragement, everybody contributes and each comes away with something that works for them.

moments. Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. P.T. Barnum, the great circus entrepreneur, was right when he suggested that you can please some of the people some of the time, but never all of the people all of the time. That bit of wisdom can help families plan for vacation. Whether it's a weekend trip to grandmas or a week or two at the beach, vacations can go better with full family planning. Okay, guys, barked dad. I called this family meeting We planned the best vacation ever for our family.

I told you about this a couple of weeks ago and asked all of us to come up with realistic fun ideas for a vacation that all of us can enjoy. With this opening, the Clarks gathered in comfy chairs in the family room. Nine-year-old Emily was enthusiastic while teens, Donnie and Alex tolerated her and the meeting. Mom had baked fresh cookies for the event and Dad had asked all to allow for no more than an hour to come up with something. Alex, Donnie, put your electronics up, no distractions, just good ideas, chimed in mom. Who wants to suggest something? This would be a great beginning to a productive meeting. If you've never had a family meeting before, use this as a template, but expect a bumpy ride until you get a rhythm.

Mom and dad are in charge. They active listen to the griping, confront the off-task behavior, and encourage helpful ideas. First, they tackle brainstorming all ideas. Be ready for someone to suggest something totally off-task. the wall. Even so, write all the ideas down without comment. After compiling a list, the parents encourage the kids to look at each item carefully within the restrictions of time and money. Some will feel constrained, even defeated. Active listen again and help them get back on track. Make sure each family member's needs and feelings are addressed and that the list has at least

one activity geared special for each family member. Also, everybody does their part in getting ready for packing, unpacking, and sharing in the chores needed for all to have a great time. Finally, a parent or older child is directed to write down the outcomes of the family meeting, and everybody gets a copy of it. This curtails the yeah-butts and the you-seds that can sabotage the outcome. If the process bogs down, don't go longer than an hour. Just schedule a follow-up time to pick up where you left off. There will be foot-dragging when you try something new like this in your family vacationing. However, the rewards of sharing, fun, and letting loose will be the result of keeping at it and getting it done.

The process of planning vacation time as a family can, in and of itself, be a teachable moment for all. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been teachable moments. Teachable moments, building blocks of Christian parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.