Being there for your kids - Four Ways for Us & Our Kids to Love Themselves

Episode Date: February 21, 2019

         In Matthew 22:39, Jesus gives us what I call "The Codependent's Commandment." He tells us to love one another as we love ourselves. We can't love one another well until and unless we love ourselves. As parents charged with raising our kids, we need to both show them how to, and model for them, loving themselves. Four specific habits help the process along. First, eat and sleep well and make time for fun. Second, develop a confidante friend with whom you can share your feelings. Third, keep a personal journal for reflection and self encouragement. Finally, make time for individual and family prayer and devotion. Developing these four habits, and teaching them to your children, will help your children love themselves.

This is Teachable Moments. I'm Dr. John Robinson. Do your children love themselves? Wow, what a question. My daughter was maybe four years old. I was outside talking to our neighbor one Saturday morning when Rachel came up to me. While I'm talking, she tugs on my pant leg and tells me, Daddy, I need some attention. Wow. I know some dads who would have brushed their daughter's hand away and dismissed her with, not now, honey, can't you see I'm busy? That would have been taking in the big picture, prioritizing my needs and pulling a power play at my daughter's expense. Thankfully, I did not do that. I motioned a pause to my friend, knelt down to be on eye level with Rachel, and asked, okay, sweetheart, what's going on? I can't think of a more loving thing that my daughter could have done in that instant than to identify her feelings, seek consolation, and get feedback. Rachel was loving herself. Many children live in an environment

where they should be seen but not heard. To the contrary, as loving parents, we want to encourage our children to love themselves. In scripture, Jesus calls us in his second greatest commandment to love one another as you love yourself. That is, loving myself, which means understanding and attending to my needs and feelings, is a prerequisite for loving one another. Children and grownups for that matter can demonstrate loving themselves by several specific ways. First, make time to both eat and sleep well. This is how we keep our body strong and resilient. Exercise, healthy diet, be active, and make time for fun. Second, have family and friends with whom you can share your honest feelings. Some people call this a confidant relationship, oftentimes found in BFFs, that is, someone with whom you are best friends forever.

Third, children and adults alike, often benefit from keeping a journal of events and feelings. This is like being best friends with yourself, celebrating today's challenges and victories while making plans for tomorrow. Finally, as a part of developing a personal relationship with Jesus, make time for individual and family devotion and prayer. This involves sharing your day and hearing from him about questions and circumstances. Do your children love themselves? They will take their lead from you. Developing these four habits will help us all move from surviving this life to thriving. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at

Amazon Books.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.