Being there for your kids - Getting Your Child Out of Jail

Episode Date: June 7, 2018

This is Teachable Moments. I'm Dr. John Robinson. I want to talk with you for a moment about getting your child out of jail for free. I've talked to many a teen who tells me that they are in jail or my parents have me on lockdown. The correctional model of restriction that most parents use includes being given time on restriction for bad behavior. Often, even well-intentioned parents are too general, too vague, both in the crime and the punishment. You're grounded until your grades come up. What grades? Up from where? For how long? The next grading period? Christmas? Teens are left with working the system, sneaking out, hoping parents will forget about the punishment. The relational model of restriction is a step-down process that helps your teen work toward less restriction. After identifying the rule infraction, impose judgment. No cell phone use for a month because you lied about where you were and stayed out past curfew. As your teen demonstrates regret with apology and shows remorse while tending to his chores and responsibilities for a week, you reward his effort. You're getting it. son, I'm proud of you. I'm showing you compassion. Your restriction is reduced to three weeks.

As he continues his respect, responsibility, and initiative for another week, you again reward his effort. I think you've got it. Lesson learned. Good job. I'm showing you mercy. Here's your cell phone back. This step-down process reinforces your authority with the wording of judgment, compassion, and mercy. It also gives your teen opportunity to earn cell phone privileges back sooner with positive response to the discipline. Any misstep and full restriction is returned. As he learns his lesson and consistently improves his behavior, he's truly free and out of jail. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed to clinical psychologist, and Christian parenting author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at

AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.