Being there for your kids - Good Parent/Bad Parent, Which Are You?

Episode Date: September 6, 2019

      As parents, we usually don't admit it, but, we all have favorite children. You know, the one you seem to get, to mesh with best, who gives you the least amount of hard time. Nonetheless, in raising siblings, as parents you want to evenly and equally be both good parent and bad parent when it comes to discipline. When the job of discipline falls on one of you, the other has to back up and support your spouse's disciplinary measures. Where this doesn't happen, the family is open to manipulation and dysfunctionality. On the flip side, each of you wants to have positive, fun, engaging time with each of your kids individually. In doing so, you are modelling for your kids that both discipline and fun come with the job of parenting. This helps build character in them.

I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let me ask you, are you a good parent? Why is it that our kids tend to see us as either good parent or bad parent? And what does that mean anyway? You know, all kids at one time or another ask each parent separately. Which one of us do you like the best? Or, do you love me more than Joey? Most parents respond with some variation of, I love all of you the same.

Really? How does that affect your parenting? Are you the good parent or the bad parent? Five-year-old Mandy sulked in her time-out chair in the corner of the kitchen. Mama had put her there after she had thrown a tantrum, stomping her foot, and declaring with attitude, you don't love me anymore. All of this because she had gone into the pantry for cookies, even though Mama had told her no and was busy making supper.

Mandy's daddy came into the kitchen, having just gotten home from a hard day at work. Mandy squealed in delight from her timeout chair, as daddy pecked her mama on the cheek. Before the parents could talk about the day's events, Mandy bounded out of her chair toward her daddy, who scooped her up and whirled her around as she giggled. As parents, you need to back each other up on matters of discipline. This avoids kids manipulating one parent against the other.

You also need to find one-on-one fun time with each of your children when there is no impending problem. You may emotionally connect with one child more than with another, but your time with each needs to be approximately equal. Good or bad parent? Each of you needs to embrace both roles at given times. It's not an either or, it's a both and. Then the marriage is secure and the children grow up in the ways of the Lord.

I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.